Went on maternity leave, depression set in. Depression on maternity leave: exact causes and solutions

Yesterday so cheerful and cheerful, today, sitting in maternity leave child care, do you feel overwhelmed and unhappy? This should definitely be corrected and not run, allowing depression to command you. How to do it? Specific descriptive situations will help you find your way out.

You've probably heard the term burnout. This means that the internal supply of energy and strength in a person is depleted over time if it is not replenished. The reason for this may be, among other things, nervous tension. If we talk about mom on maternity leave, then the causes of burnout will be lack of sleep, malnutrition, fear for the baby. Here they may well provoke such a burnout. Agree that no one will remove you from the post of mother, which means that now you work 24 hours and you have the most demanding boss - your child. Be honest, do you put off eating to please your baby? Do you also dream about rest and extra 15 minutes in the bathroom? Are you always on guard and ready to act? Be aware that at this pace you confident steps you are going to burn out.

I hope that the examples below will be useful to you, as they say: "Forewarned is forearmed."

A state of chronic irritability.

If you don’t have the opportunity sometimes to switch from your immediate duties of caring for a baby, household chores - in a word, you don’t have assistants, then after a while you begin to understand that you’ll boil a little more and explode. You are annoyed by everything that happens around: any misconduct of a child, inattention of a husband can serve as a reason for a quarrel. You scream, get offended, and then cry because you understand that you are wrong, you apologize to your loved ones for the breakdown. But a little time passes, and a quarrel may arise again ... It's just some kind of vicious circle turns out. But, fortunately, it is quite possible to break it!

In order not to make misunderstood tantrums, first accept the fact that you are not infinite, and you need to rest. And for this you need to learn how to allocate time for yourself personally. Going to the salon for a haircut, coloring, manicure, massage and other feminine joys is a great opportunity to pamper yourself and go out to people, change the situation. Maybe it will just be a meeting with a friend in a cafe or buying something for yourself. It doesn't matter what you do - the main thing is to do it for yourself! And then, when you have a little rest, think about whether you are planning your day correctly, and are you asking yourself a lot of work? Maybe it's time to stop rushing? Believe me, doing several things at the same time, you do not save time, you just wear yourself out irrationally! Pay attention to this please.

Mom is in a state of deficiency of the internal reserve of forces.

It will be about the insufficiency of your internal resources, thanks to which you rejoice every day, charge those around you with your enthusiasm, good mood and enjoy taking care of your little one.

Whatever calm child, but it grows and requires attention: first it's teeth, tummy, then crawling, first steps, and so on. Sleepless nights, maximum attention and anxiety for the health of the crumbs exhaust you, fatigue accumulates, and already because of it you become inattentive, even absent-minded in something. And now you start to fill yourself with bruises and bumps, knocking your toes against furniture corners, trampling your fingers, chopping vegetables, you begin to forget the important things that you planned the day before. Attention becomes not so sharp, and memory becomes “leaky”. By completely unconsciously saving your strength, you infringe on the child in your tenderness, you smile less often, and the people around you also lack your attention. Because of this lack internal reserve you may well become more withdrawn soon. Sad prospect, right? How to fix everything?

A new hobby, a kind of emotional shake-up, will help. It's about about a new hobby (as an option). This can be needlework (knitting, embroidery, scrapbooking, modeling, jewelry making, and so on), learning a foreign language (you don’t even need to go to courses for this - everything can be found on the Internet), you can become an online consultant on a thematic forum. Choosing an occupation to your liking is a matter of your talents and desires. And then you yourself will not notice how it will appear free time in a seemingly completely "crammed" schedule for a new hobby. And who knows, maybe after a while your hobby will become your profession. Believe in yourself, in your strengths - even on maternity leave, you can grow professionally and, doing what you love, get rid of psychological discomfort.

If you have a breakdown

Excessive nervous strain is fraught not only with breakdowns and scandals, it may appear psychosomatic problems that affect health. It can also be problems with pressure, disruption of work gastrointestinal tract, headaches, may decrease sexual attraction to her husband and so on. No wonder they say that all diseases are from the nerves.

And how can you help your nervous system? You know, here in this case can't do without the help of specialists. It is one thing to get enough sleep and calm down, and another thing when there are malfunctions in the body. Don't delay in long box visit to the doctor: the sooner you start therapy, the sooner you will return to your normal state.

Initiative and enthusiasm beyond measure are punishable.

When a child is born, a young mother, being in a state of emotional upheaval, tries not to leave the baby for a second, postponing for later and “somehow later” such important things for her as eating, good rest, dream. Such refusal or even renunciation will not lead to anything good. Remember, your internal forces are limited, and more than they are - will not be, if they are not replenished. It's like constantly drawing from the source and not giving it the opportunity to recover. Sooner or later you will see the bottom. A month, three months, maybe half a year, maybe a year you will last in non-stop mode, dragging everything on yourself, and then? But the family members around you are already, to put it mildly, accustomed to the fact that you do everything yourself, and your sudden impulse to abandon this may affect the family not the most in the best way. The child will be capricious without you while you are resting - he is used to being always with you. And the husband does not want to sit with the baby - even, thanks to your excessive guardianship, he does not know which side to approach him and where diaper toys are in the house. This is how your plan to restore internal forces can fail, without even starting to be implemented, and the body's resources, meanwhile, are melting and melting.

And what to do? How to be? There is an exit. If suddenly your situation is similar to the one described above - do not wait for an emotional breakdown, act. Start with 30 minutes a day just for yourself. Let it be a cup of coffee or tea, but you have the right to drink it in absolute peace, listening to your favorite music or reading a book. There is such an old, bearded joke, the key phrase of which is the final chord of the mother: “Quiet, sha, I make you a happy mother!” So, start small, gradually bringing these 30 minutes to several hours a day, when you can be your own mistress. And do not say right away that it is unrealistic. The main thing is to want, set a goal and work to achieve it!

And finally.

Sitting at home, on maternity leave, very often young mothers “launch” themselves, plunging headlong into everyday life and completely forgetting about themselves, who were once loved. Monotonous everyday life with a small child and a list of housework is not very conducive to growth and development. No, of course, the daily small victories and good luck of the little one are pleasing, you are proud of them with pleasure and tell all your friends and relatives about it. Someone will rejoice with you, someone will just smile, but someone is not interested. But life doesn't stop there, does it?

Children are wonderful, and when they appear in the family, you understand that you have switched to new level of its development. You and your spouse have become parents. And to live with the interests and concerns of the little ones, sharing everything with them - this is wonderful, but life is not limited solely to bottles, rattles and pots, cleaning. Do not be afraid to be interested in something else, in addition to household chores, arrange for yourself periodically emotional and psychological relief and shake-ups. Remember: your family needs you as a happy mother and wife!

Pregnancy is the happiest and at the same time the most difficult time for every woman. After all, the pleasant expectation of the birth of a child can be overshadowed various ailments. But it also happens that after giving birth, a woman experiences a depressed state. Why does depression appear on maternity leave, and how to deal with it?

Reasons for the development of depression

There are many reasons why new moms are caught off guard by depression. After all, the life of a woman with the advent of a child changes dramatically, new worries appear, responsibility for her baby, worries about him. Therefore, the decree is both a joyful and difficult period of life.

• One of the reasons for the development of depression in mothers is banal fatigue. It is most pronounced in the first few months of a child's life. Due to fatigue, a woman often becomes irritable, feels depressed. In this case, it is simply necessary to understand that all difficulties are temporary. The baby will begin to grow rapidly and taking care of him will not be so troublesome.
• The second reason for the occurrence of depression can be attributed to the monotony of life on maternity leave. A young mother is at home with her child around the clock, often not being able to relax, sit with friends, go to a cafe or somehow spend time. But even with a child, you can not sit at home. You can go with him to visit, walk in different places even go shopping. It is not necessary to stay at home all the time, especially since it is useful for a child to spend a lot of time outdoors.
• Another culprit in the development of a depressive state can be unpresentable appearance mothers. Women on maternity leave often do not have time for themselves, sometimes even to look in the mirror, there is no extra minute, and even desire. In addition, after childbirth, the figure can change significantly. A bad appearance will also be noticed by the husband, so often the attention from the spouse is sharply reduced, which makes the woman even more worried. Therefore, it is important to find at least a few minutes to put yourself in order, to do physical exercises to restore the figure.
• fourth and very important reason The cause of depression is that the young mother believes that she is not coping with her immediate task of raising a baby. Most often, this can be observed in women who have given birth for the first time and still do not know if they are doing everything right. In such a situation, it is simply necessary to enlist the support of more experienced women who will tell you about all the intricacies of caring for a child.

How does the disease manifest itself?

Mostly depression in young mothers, it manifests itself in the form of apathy, that is, a depressed state, indifference to everything, except for their baby.

Many women talk about how they look like robots. It's quite normal condition that all mothers experience. The woman's body starts a mechanism that allows you to maintain performance for a long time.

In this state, mothers often suffer panic fear that something is going to happen to the baby. This greatly complicates life and has a bad effect on the nervous system. It is clear that every mother is afraid for her child, but this fear can cross all boundaries.

For example, the patient may often get up in the middle of the night to check that the baby is all right. And she can also wake up at night, remembering that she forgot to remove some object that could hurt the baby and hide it away. Another woman begins to believe in various evil eyes, damage, afraid of everything that can somehow harm her child.

How to get rid of depression?

You can cope with depression on your own without the help of doctors, unless, of course, it proceeds in a severe form when special therapy is required. Psychologists offer the following options for how to get rid of depression on maternity leave:

Search for a favorite thing

You need to find some activity for yourself that will distract from pressing problems and bring joy. It could be home work, which not only diversifies life, but also brings profit. Or you can just find a hobby for the soul, for example, embroidery, knitting, blogging online, and so on.

Engage in self-development

Such a hobby is necessary for a person throughout his life. You can increase your stock of knowledge with the help of books or special courses.

Relaxation

You should always remember that rest is the most important thing for a young mother. This is the only way to restore your strength, cope with a depressed state and continue to take care of your child. To do this, you can sleep during the day with your baby, take a bath before going to bed at night, chat with interesting people for a woman, read books, listen to music.

The publication

Every woman needs to get out of the house without her baby. You can ask at least once a week to sit with the child of your husband or grandmother and go to a meeting with friends, cinema, theater, bowling and other events.

Creating a holiday

To do this, you can do home improvement, acquiring various interesting interior items to create a truly rainbow mood in your home. The same applies to buying clothes, they should be bright, positively affect the mood of the owner.

Communication with the same mothers

At present, when the Internet is an integral part of the life of every person, it will not be difficult for women to find like-minded people. To do this, it is enough to visit the women's forum, where all mothers discuss some problems every day, in particular, and how they fought depression.

It is not necessary to find like-minded people on the network. You can meet mothers on the playground, then walk together with the children or attend some events.

Many women refuse the help of others, showing their independence. Decree is not the case when you need to do this.

How to be a spouse?

The decree is not only the concern of one mother. In this case important role the child's father also plays. Therefore, in the fact that the wife has a depressive state, there is a share of the spouse's fault, which means that we must fight together. In order to protect a woman from this disease as much as possible, a man will need the following:

• Always ask your wife about her physical and moral condition. Often women simply keep silent about the presence of some problems, about normal fatigue. The reason for this is the unwillingness to be a burden for your man.
• Do some household chores. This will greatly facilitate the work of a young mother and allow her to rest more. So she can feel that her husband really cares about her.
• Compliment constantly. After all, every woman loves with her ears.
• Don't demand sex. During the period of the decree, many mothers experience an indifferent attitude towards intimate life. Over time, everything will return to normal, but for now you should not insist on intimacy.
• Give gifts and pleasant experiences. it great way cheer up your beloved and show that she is still loved and needed by a man.

In this way, A husband must support his wife in everything, never tell her that she can not cope with raising a child, household chores. In no case should you reprimand a woman with depression on maternity leave if she did not have time to cook dinner on time, clean the apartment. It is best to help your companion with all the trouble yourself.

When do you need specialist help?

You can consult a doctor when a woman has tried all the methods of dealing with maternity depression, and it continues to exist even after the patient has returned from maternity leave. Also, the reason for going to a specialist may be that the disease does not allow mom to perform her household duties, excessively depresses her nervous system.

But in no case should you take any antidepressants on your own to get out of depression. These drugs adversely affect human health. This is especially strictly prohibited if a woman feeds a child. breast milk. Therefore, appoint yourself self-treatment no need. Indeed, in many cases, treatment is not required, depression goes away after the decree itself.

Life is full of stresses that we can manage in a controlled way: they lead to personal development. We are looking for how to get out of the challenge situation, and our efforts lead to results. The chain "challenge - reaction - result" is an integral part of development. According to the physiologist Dmitry Zhukov, uncontrolled stress is detrimental to a person, which has three signs: it cannot be predicted, it cannot be avoided, and it is impossible to adapt to it. In other words, the source of stress does not depend on you in any way and you cannot influence it, make it stop.

The first child can create a situation of uncontrollable stress for the mother. She has almost no effect on his cry. Colic, teething and tantrums of 2-3 years of age are practically not amenable to calming and control. When he wakes up and screams again is unknown and also uncontrollable.

We get a different chain: challenge - reaction - lack of adequate and long-term result- again a challenge - a reaction - again the absence of a result. This can lead to a reluctance to react (i.e. comfort the child). scientific language this condition is called "learned helplessness". Its signs are apathy, anhedonia (lack of desire to enjoy the pleasures that are present), unwillingness to improve one's condition, cognitive decline, anxiety and fear.

Many people recognize themselves by imagining the following picture: they really want to sleep, but they can’t sleep because of anxiety, that anyway the baby will wake up soon, and again ... Or you are sitting on the couch and feel that you are not even able to get up and water the flowers, because “Why ? Every day is the same."

How to "cure" uncontrollable stress

The mother's body seeks to avoid depression and defends itself from uncontrolled stress itself. He shows "displaced activity" - he invents actions that, in principle, do not affect the cause of stress, but reduce the mother's anxiety. For example, you can fanatically wash the floor or wipe the shelves every day. For a very long time, until sterility, iron clothes. Pounce on food, especially sweets. You can invent some strange rituals, in the expediency of which you sincerely believe, although in a year you will laugh at it. But in a situation of uncontrollable stress, you needed it.

What biased activity are you showing? Is she neurotic? If it does not suit you, think about what useful distracting activities you can replace it with. When I caught myself "rubbing the floors" - I knew with my head that it was useless, but I could not help myself ... The problem went away when I started writing a book. The cleanliness of the floors again ceased to excite me more often than once a week.

Yes, rats, fish, and dogs experience uncontrollable stress, and they also have “displaced activity”. For example, if a tethered rat is electrocuted indiscriminately and cannot influence the shocks, she will show symptoms of depression. However, if at this moment the rat is allowed to run around the cage or gnaw on a stick, there will be no symptoms of depression. They will also not be there if there is an opportunity to fight with relatives in the cage. In a situation of uncontrolled stress, a person will also increase tension and aggression towards others (for example, husband, mother-in-law). But you and I do not want to become like rats and we can consciously choose a different “displaced activity”.

The most reliable way for a person to overcome uncontrollable stress is to turn it into controllable. To do this, you need to consistently act on each of the three signs of NS. Your task is to remove at least one.

"Avoid": leaving someone for a while with the child. If it’s impossible, we influence “Predict” - to create a daily routine for ourselves and the child and clear rituals for food, walks and sleep. This makes the child's reactions more predictable. “Adapt”: improve maternal skills and replenish the arsenal of ways to calm the child. For example, I had insomnia from anxiety that the child would soon wake up. Then I took him to my bed. When he began to toss and turn, even before screaming, she would put a tit in her mouth. I won myself a good night sleep. This is an example of the impact on the trait "adapt".

I am sure that this example will seem banal to many. Alas: if a woman, due to her youth, lack of education, lack of patterns of maternal behavior, does not know how to calm a child, she will also deal with uncontrolled stress, but in a different way. Her aggression may be directed against the child. A sign of "adapt" is to drink alcohol. The "avoid" sign is to throw the child into literally. But teach a woman to handle uncontrollable stress safely and we'll get healthy family. That is why mother support groups are needed.

Exercise: write down exactly what behavior of the child and when acts on you as uncontrollable stress. Write everything possible options safe actions for each of the three signs of uncontrollable stress in your case.

To maintain adequate self-esteem during a period of uncontrolled stress, it is important to ensure that you perform some kind of ritual every day. Example: Dinner for the husband must be ready and the floors must be washed.

My child regularly prevented me from doing household chores, and this exacerbated my sense of failure as a housewife. I felt much better when I managed to guarantee myself the cleanliness of the house. To do this, I had to put my rebel in a sling on her back, where she often fell asleep peacefully while washing the floor. I felt like I had “beaten” her and regained control of my own life.

The birth of a child is a great happiness, a great joy. Only this joy disappears somewhere in six months or a year. Nothing pleases a young mother. Irritability appears, chronic fatigue develops. Not fun to play with the baby. The husband's attention is tiring. Where does all this come from? How to avoid depression? How not to go crazy on maternity leave?

Why does depression appear?

You wake up in the morning and you don't want to get up. The mood is already bad. Not only did you not sleep terribly, at night you jumped up to the baby every now and then. So also the whole day will have to spin like a squirrel in a wheel. Poop-poo-walk-cleaning-cooking-laundry. And again porridge. And so without end. An endless cycle! How to stay calm and balanced! Breaking down on a child, on a husband ...

Am I a bad mother and wife?! What happened?! How to deal with all this?!

First you need to calm down. And accept your new state as a given. just came maternity depression. No need to dig inside and engage in self-flagellation. You are doing your job very well. You - perfect mother and a wonderful wife. Now is such a period. Heavy. He is temporary. Any depression can be dealt with.

Why does maternity depression occur?

1. Monotony.

This is one of the main reasons. Every day is the same. Getting up-porridge-potty-changing-walking-soup-sleep bed-capricious-dinner-bath-sleep again. If you're lucky, no whims. Nothing changes! There is no end and end!

2. Lack of intellectual activity.

Washing the pop and cooking cereals is far from intellectual work. The personality begins to strike because of the lack of opportunities for creative and mental self-realization.

3. No one to talk to.

How not to go crazy on maternity leave?

How to prevent depression? And if depression is already a concern, how to deal with it? Remember the causes and neutralize them:

1. Make a hole in the monotony. Change your daily routine. Break the usual course of events. Lots of ways:

• find a hobby and devote attention to it for at least an hour a day (reading books, cross-stitching, knitting toys, creating blogs, etc., etc.);
• rest more (nothing terrible will happen if you do not iron the linen while the baby is sleeping, but sleep with him, just lie down and meditate);
• take care of yourself (half an hour a day you can devote to your beloved; make masks for your face and hands, lie down in a fragrant bath);
• leave home without children for two hours a week (to a cafe with your husband, shopping, shaping; where you can relax your body and soul; and grandmother, aunt, dad, after all, can sit with the children at this time) .

We will immediately warn the indignant exclamations that the grandmothers are far away, and the fathers do not need anything. Dear mothers! You yourself taught dads to do nothing. They were afraid that the man could not cope with your baby. Everything will be confused. Well, the man didn't really insist. It's easier for him.

Load your men with child care. This is the fruit of his labors. Let him walk with him. Stays at home. Without you. And even if he grumbles under his breath and shows displeasure, do not pay attention. Smile, kiss - and go to a restaurant with a friend. A cheerful wife is much better than an eternally swearing and dissatisfied one.

2. Load your brain. Give him food.

Maternity leave is a great time to improve your professional level, study foreign languages, mastering a new specialty. Take English lessons via Skype, sign up for design or accounting courses, learn makeup. Anything! If only you were interested.

In addition, today there are a lot of opportunities to study without leaving home. Cognitive sites, Skype, educational literature, distance courses.

3. Look for interlocutors and like-minded people.

Where to looking for? On walks and playgrounds, on forums and thematic sites. Can't find friends? Create your own club for people who share your views. Among the seven billion people there are sure to be such.

Turn every day into a little holiday. Buy yourself a new dress, a beautiful hairpin, a fancy notebook, an unusual pen, a funny dishwashing sponge. A holiday is also possible in everyday life. Everything depends on you. For example, on Friday evening, put on evening dress and meet your husband for a candlelit dinner. Occasion? End working week. On Wednesday, decorate the house with balloons (just imagine how delighted your little one will be!). Occasion? The child asked for a potty. First! Find a reason if you want.

And remember: you can’t afford to “turn sour” on maternity leave. You are a woman. Love yourself, pamper yourself. The child will bring more benefit a half-hour game with a happy mother, rather than a two-hour labored lesson with an annoyed aunt.

Many young mothers prefer to find a nanny for their baby, send it to a kindergarten or to the care of grandparents in order to get to work as soon as possible. Indeed, not everyone uses the full three years of leave that are provided to a woman to care for a child. But the desire to quickly start working is not always due to material or other objective reasons.

Most often, young mothers want to change the situation and bring something new into their lives. They just get tired over time from (it seems) endless diapers, undershirts, diapers and walks. Caring for a child for some women turns into a protracted stress that destroys relationships and life. So how do you deal with depression on maternity leave?

Commentary of a family psychologist

Mom's depression on maternity leave is not a myth, but a reality. To varying degrees, up to 80% of women experience apathy, dissatisfaction with themselves or life in general, irritability, dissatisfaction and other unpleasant emotional phenomena. It manifests itself differently for everyone.

Some young mothers easily experience emotional turmoil after the birth of a child. And one cannot do without changes in the psyche, because the birth of a new family member is not only an immense joy, but also global change and a huge responsibility. Other women begin to delve into themselves, look for other reasons for sadness, and eventually become isolated.

Depression on maternity leave is a phenomenon not only due to emotional, but also physical factors. In the first 24-48 hours after childbirth, the level of estrogen and progesterone in the body drops sharply to a level lower than before conception. As a result, depression can develop, which is caused by the same thing as PMS.

Sometimes the stability of the emotional state is undermined due to problems with thyroid gland or lack of vitamin B. B postpartum period as a result of lack of sleep and lack of energy, there may be a tendency to exaggerate problems. Some women are really desperate.

It is important to remember that if postpartum depression not detected and treated in time, it can develop into chronic problem and even prevent the mother from developing attachment to the child. In this regard, some mothers may not pay attention to the crumbs or even raise their hands to her when they lose their temper. All this adversely affects the usefulness and timeliness of the physical and emotional development of the child.

Depression in outgoing women

Particularly emotional and sensitive women by nature are usually open and sociable. Such mothers begin to experience anxiety and apathy if they cannot fully build emotional relationship with people. Forced isolation and lack of communication on maternity leave cause depression in such women. The emotional range of sociable women is too great to be limited to her husband and small child, and because of the restrictions, fears, tearfulness, anxiety, a feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself appear, panic attacks.

How to deal with depression on maternity leave for active extroverts? Psychologists recommend women with such a temperament to decorate the house and change the interior in order to quickly improve their condition. You can try your hand at photography or painting. Communication and new acquaintances with the same mothers are now available via the Internet. Categorically not suitable advice that can only further close a woman on loneliness and herself (for example, meditation).

A woman can maximize her activities and sociability in the field of volunteer work, but with a child in her arms it is difficult. Although it is in such areas that the emotional range of a young mother will be fully involved in empathy and sympathy. You can find a community that is engaged in such activities, and take part in what you can. For example, at the city’s mom forum, you can organize a collection of things for a local shelter or orphanage.

If you are tortured by routine and monotony

For active and purposeful women, careerists who know how to achieve their goals, an integral part full life is novelty. Often such personalities can be seen in sports or business, among them there are technologists and engineers. Their area of ​​interest is career, competitiveness and competition, technical innovation.

The life of a young mother changes dramatically when she goes on maternity leave. But the feeling of apathy, sadness and anxiety that occurs from time to time cannot be called depression. Negative emotional states are the result of dissatisfaction and desire for novelty. Such active and active women cannot stand the routine.

How to deal with depression on maternity leave? To improve your condition, you can rearrange your home, change your appearance, expand the “geography” of walking with your baby (for this it is more convenient to use slings or kangaroos, rather than classic strollers), actively play sports at home or start going to the gym.

Tips for knitting or embroidery, as well as other types of needlework, are widespread. But such advice is not for those who are tired of the monotony. Such activities will only aggravate the depression of a careerist who is forced to stay at home with a child (even if her own and dearly beloved).

If depression appears on maternity leave, what should I do? Women who are tired of the monotony are often advised to start a small Internet business or register as an entrepreneur. You can even work from home. This is useful both for the financial situation of the family and for the normal emotional state of the mother, who has been busy with a career all her life before the birth of the baby.

Depression in those who do not feel like a mother

special condition after childbirth in women who feel on an equal footing with a man. In ancient times, representatives of the weaker sex with such a temperament accompanied men in war and hunting. Today, these women may experience difficulties with conception and independent childbirth, and when going on maternity leave, they may face psychological difficulties. Such a mother defines depression in herself, because she does not develop the notorious maternal instinct.

All this does not mean that it will not be possible to safely raise and educate a child. It may seem strange, but it is women with such a temperament who realize themselves well in the profession of an educator. FROM own child relationships are built not on the basis of maternal instinct, but on a special emotional connection. This becomes possible when the baby begins to recognize the mother and respond to her.

A woman with such a temperament needs to communicate, so it’s absolutely not worth locking yourself in the family and household. Successful ways of social realization are all possible assistance to volunteer centers, active participation in the life of relatives. For most women, realization in the role of mother and wife is primary, but for the types listed here, it is social realization that is necessary.

Depression in seekers of the meaning of life

There is a type of women whose natural needs are concentration and solitude. Becoming a mother, with sadness and apathy, they begin to look for an answer to the question: “Is there really a real point in procreation? When the child grows up, will the mother be needed only to pay for food and continue to care for him? Strengthens the depressive state of the inability to be alone with yourself. More often, it is women with such a temperament who need qualified help psychologist.

Why there is apathy and dissatisfaction with life

Depression on maternity leave appears due to a combination of reasons. Both the physical aspects and the purely emotional ones matter. In the first months after the birth of the baby, fatigue and constant lack of sleep are most pronounced. This results in alienation, apathy and irritability. In this case (if there are no other problems, and the reason, most likely, is fatigue), you need to devote more time to rest and realize that in a month and a half everything will begin to change.

In addition, young mothers are forced to spend almost all the time in enclosed space. The lack of variety causes irritability, tearfulness, dissatisfaction with life and other problems. Such reasons can be caused by depression on maternity leave. Is the child a year old or a little more, but there is no more strength? It's just fatigue from the routine.

Here it is important to expand the “horizons”: with a child (even a small one) you can visit, explore new walking routes and go shopping. For ease of movement (especially if you do not have your own car), it is better to purchase a comfortable sling or kangaroo. Today there are models that are suitable even for newborns.

After childbirth, the figure of a woman noticeably changes. The kilograms gained during pregnancy do not go to the discharge. Changes are noticeable not only to the youngest mother, but also to her husband. Hence the irritability and lack of attention from the second half. But there is a way out. You need to improve nutrition and exercise (at least at home). During pregnancy, you should also try not to gain overweight to quickly bounce back after childbirth.

Can be pronounced in primiparous "syndrome bad mom". It seems that everything is falling out of hand, the child is missing something all the time, there is a fear of not being able to do something or losing sight of it, of doing everything wrong. In this case, you need to find a more experienced friend to whom you can turn for advice. You can listen to your mother or another woman who has a similar experience. Support and advice will help you cope with the new role painlessly for the emotional state.

Symptoms of depression and burnout

Depression in a woman on maternity leave is burnout, irritability and nervousness, fears and dissatisfaction with life. This is common to all professionals working in social sphere and not only. And mom is quite a profession. You can pay attention to the following symptoms emotional burnout and depression on maternity leave: reduced emotional background, drowsiness, weakness, increased nervousness and irritability, indifference to what is happening around and apathy, feeling like a bad mother, constant shortage time. Syndrome is often added to this chronic fatigue and possible problems with physical health.

on decree

What can you do on maternity leave to take your mind off anxious thoughts? As a rule, in most cases, it is enough for young mothers to find something to their liking in order to normalize emotional condition. If kind work activities allows you to take some of the cases home. It turns out that there is both employment and income.

You can think about what you like to do. It can be embroidery or knitting and other women's needlework, blogging or even model building. But you need to engage in a hobby without compromising communication with loved ones and the baby’s daily routine.

How to get out of depression? In the decree, you can increase the level of your knowledge. This will suit purposeful women and careerists for whom all life is rivalry. You can sign up for short manicure or makeup courses, learn how to build nails, read special literature or learn languages.

Rest is essential anyway.

How not to get depressed on maternity leave? We must not forget about the rest. It is advisable for a young mother to allocate time for herself daytime sleep. This is a great rest for the body. Before going to bed, you can take a relaxing bath, in which it is recommended to add medicinal salts and flavored foam. Well uplifts the tone of the body, and physical exercises will help to quickly return to shape after childbirth.

Reading books and magazines about motherhood or professional activity also useful. You can pay attention to fiction which will help you immerse yourself in a fictional world. Communication with acquaintances, friends and relatives is necessary. In the first days after discharge from the hospital, there will be no time for this, but then communication is simply necessary.

Walks and entertainment without children

Required condition- walks without children. Try to get out of the house for at least two hours a week. It's not far from own child but a reasonable attitude towards one's psyche. Time spent without a baby should be as different from everyday life as possible. You can meet with friends, go on a date with your husband or visit

How to get rid of depression on maternity leave? Everything should be treated positively. Even everyday self-care, baby care and household chores can be made more interesting. It is enough to buy scented bath foam, bright sponges for home care, beautiful children's things and generally give preference to something unusual. When buying clothes, it is also better to prefer bright colors, because psychologists have long proven their ability to positively influence mood.

It is worth learning to accept any help. It is necessary to forget disagreements and long-standing grievances, give others the opportunity to participate in caring for the child and discard the desire to be independent in everything. There is no need to rush to fill the freed minutes with everyday chores - this is the time to relax, you can treat yourself to some sweetness (but only in moderation) or take a bath.

Medical methods of correction

If there are signs of depression on maternity leave, what should I do? If the condition is unstable, then it is better to consult a specialist. For severe problems are assigned sedatives or antidepressants. Treatment is selected individually. The means depend on the condition of the woman, the presence accompanying symptoms, feeding regimen (breast or artificial).

Depression on maternity leave is not a whim or whim, but very real problems. That is why the partner should pay attention to the state of his wife. It is better to take on some of the household chores, you should try to compliment your spouse more often and not insist on intimacy. If a woman is morally exhausted, then sex for her will only worsen the situation. You need to kindly help your wife if something does not work out for her. You can try to “stir up” your spouse with pleasant impressions: a gift or a good pastime.