Bedtime ritual for a 3 month old baby. Why is sleep preparation so important? What about the ritual before bedtime?

Why is sleep preparation so important?

Constancy, consistency and a certain order of actions bring very feelings of predictability, safety and security that are important to them. In such a large and diverse world, our kids are faced with a huge flow of information every day, so when at least some important points remain unchanged, they form "safety anchors". Children readily cling to these anchors and rejoice in their permanence. Sequential and repetitive sleep routines can be introduced as early as 6-8 weeks of age.

Rituals before going to bed, the order of actions when waking up, a pattern of behavior during meals, habitual games on a walk - the whole day of the child consists of habitual and predictable actions for him. This stability allows the baby's nervous system not to be under constant stress . The brain receives new information in parts, processes it, accumulating knowledge, skills and abilities.

Sleep rituals work!

As for preparation for sleep, in addition to convenience and stability, there are a few more reasons to create an important and healthy bedtime ritual:

— the same day-to-day ritual before going to bed helps the child move from running around to a calm state and sets him up for sleep;
- the preparation ritual coordinates well the implementation of all necessary actions before going to bed;
- mother calmly follows the usual rules, radiating confidence, calmness, which makes the child more balanced;
- strict adherence to established procedures relaxes the child's nervous system, at this moment there is no need to get acquainted with new information;
- the established routine makes it easier daily evening styling and replaces the bedtime battle with a calm and peaceful preparation process.

How to create the right bedtime routine for your baby?

It should be noted that all activities, except for a snack, washing and brushing your teeth before going to bed, must be organized in the room where the baby sleeps. Take at least 30 minutes to get ready for bed. Try to avoid exciting activities, noisy games and watching TV just before bed; dim the lights in the house, curtain the windows - show the baby that it's time for bed. Parents also need to tune in to rest and quiet evening. If the mother has planned a lot of things for the evening, sitting by the baby’s crib, she will think about them, then the child will feel nervous loved one. If you want your child to fall asleep peacefully, you need to spend two hours with him before bedtime, sitting at the same table during dinner, playing, looking at books making a pleasant massage, enjoying your communication. This is a family-only time to form trusting relationships. Let all things wait! After all, right now, before going to bed, parents are so important for the baby, because he is already tired.

In addition to the obligatory washing, potty and brushing your teeth, we have found for you 10 ideas for happy falling asleep - bedtime rituals:

1. Choose pajamas for colorful dreams

2. Tell 5 good things that happened during the day

3. Make a dream

4. Look at the stars

5. Get a massage or relaxing yoga for babies

6. Tell your story for the Sleepy Fairy

7. Choose a toy that will sleep with the baby in bed

8. Do a relaxing breathing exercise

9. Hug and kiss mom and dad before bed

10. Drink soothing tea or milk

In order to create your own unique bedtime ritual, use ours!

Backfill Sleep Baby

Create your own unique bedtime ritual poster for your baby

Some rituals can negatively affect the process of falling asleep.

Of course, every mother, grandmother has her own tricks, the very “backfills” that they use to give the baby sweet Dreams. Not all of them are useful. Let's name a few of these bedtime rituals that can negatively affect the quality and duration of sleep:

Very often there is a situation when a mother needs to cook dinner, do household chores, so the child looks first " Good night, kids", and then others children's channel cartoons . “At the same time, the child sits quietly, relaxes, gets ready for bed, otherwise he would rush around the house,” many parents think so, but they are wrong. In this moment nervous system experiencing cosmic overload, trying to process the received visual information.

The second "backfilling" is associated with postponing the time of laying down to a later time so that "the child is already tired for sure, has played enough so that he only has enough strength to sleep." This is also a delusion, because. baby walks comfortable time to sleep , feels overtired, so he cannot go into deep sleep and wakes up earlier in the morning.

And the last myth, which must be said: "If you feed a baby more densely just before bedtime, then we will get an angel's dream." The use of this method for more restful sleep the child is justified up to 7-8 months. At an older age, direct the relationship between good sleep and food just before going to bed it turns into the reverse.

I often come across a situation where a mother simply puts the baby in the crib and waits for him to fall asleep. And the baby is not sleeping!

Usually in this case they say: “If he wants to sleep, he will fall asleep on his own.”

This belief is not always true and causes certain problems with children's sleep. Very often, the child simply did not tune in to sleep, could not quickly enter calm state Or maybe he didn't realize it was time for bed.

There is a transition period between activity and sleep, during which we help the baby prepare for sleep. We fill this gap with ritual.

What is a bedtime ritual?

A bedtime ritual is a set sequence of actions repeated every day before each sleep. Usually a ritual daytime sleep shorter than before the night.

What is the laying ritual for?

Features of the nervous system in early age are such that the processes of excitation predominate over the processes of inhibition. We just need to help children calm down and get into rest mode.

The ritual helps to tune in to sleep. Gives a clear signal to the child about the imminent start of rest. Any established habits work subconsciously: the brain itself begins to prepare for sleep as soon as familiar actions begin.

Having a ritual is an essential support for you in non-standard situations. For example, you went on vacation or spend the night in the country. IN new environment and it is sometimes difficult for an adult to fall asleep, but what can we say about a child. In this case, a favorite ritual comes to the rescue.

An example of a ritual at the age of 0-6 months:

bath,
light massage,
swaddling or changing into sleepwear
breast or bottle
laying in a crib or bed while sleeping together,
turn off the light
lullaby,
turn on white noise.

An example of a ritual at the age of 6-18 months:

bath,
dressing up for sleep
"say" goodnight to dad and other family members,
laying down loved ones toys to sleep,
breast or bottle
viewing a bright book by age,
laying in a crib or bed.
turn off the light in the bedroom
turn on white noise.

You can include in your order what you see fit. The main thing is that you can maintain your rules every day and in long term. For example, you won't be able to carry a baby who weighs 16 kg in your arms for 20 minutes, but you can hold him on your lap.

Ritual is a purely individual thing. It should be designed specifically for your child at his particular age. For example, if bathing in a bath before going to bed relaxes one child, on the contrary, it excites another. Some parents even endure bathing in the morning, as they see that the child is overly excited. Look at your baby.

The purpose of the ritual is to relax, not to excite.

What problems appear due to the lack of ritual?

Children love predictability. The lack of regularity brings chaos to their consciousness.

If the child does not have a bedtime ritual, or if the ritual is age-appropriate, the following difficulties may occur:

The child does not fall asleep for a long time.
During the day he only sleeps in short naps.
Falls asleep but wakes up quickly.
Often wakes up at night.

Age features of the ritual before bedtime.

0-4 months.

Up to four months, it is often necessary to help the baby fall asleep. Self-soothing skills are not yet developed: therefore, part of your ritual may be motion sickness, falling asleep in your arms or on your chest.

4 -12 months.

Especially critical is the lack of ritual after three to four months. If up to this age the child could sleep always and everywhere, then after four months it becomes more and more difficult to do this. The baby is now aware of the interesting world around him, and it is not so easy for him to agree that it is time to sleep. This ritual creates a positive habit of calming down and not resisting sleep. Toddlers love regularity and predictability!

one and a half years and older.

At 1.5-3 years old, children begin to show their character in full: very often sleep is not included in their plans. The presence of the usual order allows you to quickly "switch" the baby to sleep. Having a ritual before bed becomes vital important issue to set boundaries in behavior.

For children over the age of two, it is critical to adapt the ritual so that you can talk with the baby, discuss topics that concern him. If your child cannot speak, however, by the age of one and a half years, cognitive abilities are already quite high. Therefore, after laying in the crib, you can tell the baby in a quiet voice what you consider important and necessary.

How to avoid sleep problems in older age, read.

Why did my acquaintances not have any ritual, and the children slept perfectly?

There are children who really do not cause any trouble to parents. These are babies with a very calm temperament: little angels. Indeed, for such children, the absence of a ritual (as well as many other tricks of parents) does not cause any difficulties. They fall asleep perfectly and sleep for 3 hours during the day and do not disturb their parents all night. But if your child is demanding, very active, and has a difficult character, then for sure you will encounter certain sleep difficulties. You are the one who needs the ritual.

When to start the laying ritual?

For babies under six months of age, start as soon as you see signs of fatigue in the baby.

For babies over six months old, also start when you show signs of fatigue or 30 minutes before your desired bedtime. If your child is between 6 and 18 months old, this is where it will be helpful for you to know the maximum wakefulness intervals. Accordingly, start preparing for sleep for certain time before the interval expires.

Some tips for organizing the ritual.

The ritual will be successful if:

It is regular (before every sleep and every day).
You change it as your baby grows.
Everyone who helps you with your child knows and applies the established rules. For example, if a child spends the night with her grandmother, then she must reproduce your ritual or apply her own.
As the baby grows, there may be different rituals with different adults. The main thing is that they should also be regular and constant.
For daytime and night sleep rituals can be different both in content and in duration.
Remove all possible irritants that interfere with the ritual. For example, a cat running around the room will distract the child, not soothe. And an open door will allow noise from other rooms to enter the bedroom and disturb you.

Safety first.

We have already said that you will make it much easier for your baby to fall asleep if you take care that last hour before going to bed I passed in a calm, familiar, full of love atmosphere. This is the time of transition from the active part of the day to the calm, from new experiences to familiar comfort, from noise and outdoor games to peace and quiet...

The introduction of the so-called ritual of falling asleep will help the child calm down and tune in to sleep - actions that are repeated daily in a certain sequence and develop a kind of sleep in the baby. conditioned reflex- set to sleep. The elements of such a ritual can be, for example, bathing, massage, swaddling, putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, reading a fairy tale, favorite lullaby, doll or soft toy, "going to bed" with the baby, etc. And, of course, the tenderness of the parents and the beloved mother's voice, which the baby will remember all his life!

It probably happened to you that some smell or taste suddenly evoked pictures from your childhood in your memory or some detail in clothes resembled a specific person. Similarly, in children accustomed to a certain evening ritual, a familiar tune or favorite toy in the crib will soon begin to be associated with sleep. And the closeness and love of parents at this time will fill the soul of the baby with confidence that he is desired and loved, and with this confidence it will be much easier for the baby to fall asleep alone.

For children who are accustomed to falling asleep only with the help of different kind aids(bottle, motion sickness, etc.), the introduction of the ritual of falling asleep will help to abandon them. The new ritual, as it were, will replace the old habit and facilitate the transition to the moment when the baby is alone in her crib.

Sleeping rituals are important for both infants and older children, so their content should be modified according to the age and needs of the child.

In the first year of a baby’s life, the routine part of the ritual (preparation for sleep) is still closely intertwined with parental tenderness, affectionate words and touches. Bathing, swaddling or dressing the baby in the evening, you can stroke him, give him a massage, sing songs, talk about the past and the new day. Remember to do this every day in the same sequence so that the baby knows in advance what will happen next. Only in this case, these actions will become a ritual for the child and a signal to sleep. When laying the baby in the crib, it is necessary to say the same phrase that will become familiar to him, for example: "and now it's time to sleep to gain strength for a new day" (or some other that will let the baby know that the time has come sleep). Pulling the curtains, turning off the light (turning on the children's nightlight) and a gentle kiss with the words: "Good night, son (daughter)! I love you very much!" - will be the final point of the ritual, after which you must leave the room. And act confidently, because, feeling insecure in your actions or your voice, the baby will definitely try to keep you offended by crying ...
To monitor whether the baby has fallen asleep, such an invention of technology as a baby monitor is very convenient. By turning it on, you can safely move around the house, and not stand on tiptoe under the door, listening to every rustle behind it.
For older children, bedtime routine can be reduced to necessary minimum, but the cozy part with mom or dad in the children's room should be stretched a little. This is the time when the baby enjoys the undivided attention of his parents - half an hour, belonging to him alone. You can sit your child on your lap, read a book to him or just look at the pictures together, naming out loud what is shown on them. Or maybe you will sing to the baby or tell him a good story. Many people and adulthood remember mother's fairy tales and lullabies. Or you can quietly turn on the cassette and rock with the child, for example, in a rocking chair. If your baby is used to falling asleep with his favorite toy, you can involve him in the evening ritual. Let the bunny, bear or doll tell the child later that it's time to go to bed, and ask if he will allow them to sleep with him today. Let your imagination run wild in these moments. But remember that all your actions should become a habit for the baby and be repeated every day, even if it seems boring to you. Only in this case, cozy minutes before bedtime will be associated for the child with falling asleep.
When choosing an evening ritual, it is very important to determine its time frame in advance and warn the baby about them. If you do not do this, the child will not want to stop and will try to drag out the pleasant activity by all means (“one more story, mom, please-a-a-luist ...!”). The easiest way is to draw the line right away and agree with the baby that you will read to him, for example, only one story or only one children's book. You can point to the clock in the room and say that you will read until this arrow reaches this number ... Even a kid who does not know numbers will find this clear and logical (according to at least, for my children it has always been an iron argument). Once you've set your boundaries, stay firm and don't break them even as an exception. Feeling a weakness, the child will try to use it to delay sleep. He will understand: it is enough to whine, and he will get what he wants. You will become impatient, the baby, feeling this, will begin to act up, and the whole ritual will no longer have the desired effect.
The final point of the ritual for older children is the same as for the little ones (drawn curtains, turned off the lights, a gentle kiss with affectionate words for the night). If you used a clock to determine the time frame, then now is the right time to point the child to them. For example, with the words: "Well, look - the little arrow has already reached the number" seven "", - you remove the books with toys and put the baby in the crib.

More examples of rituals

All the elements of the ritual given in this chapter are examples only. You can use them or come up with your own unique ones. After all, you know your child better than anyone else - what he loves, what he needs, what calms him ...

Lenka fell asleep only when mom or dad were around. Previously, this happened quite quickly: one of the parents sat down next to the girl's bed, gently stroked her, and the daughter was asleep in a few minutes. Over time, parents had to sit in the baby's room for longer, sometimes more than an hour. Both mom and dad of the girl worked all day and were very tired by the evening, so sitting for an hour at the crib seemed unbearable to them. Alena felt the impatience of her parents and the more she fought for their attention,.

Having heard about the evening ritual, the parents decided to try this opportunity. They told the girl that she was now big and should sleep alone in her crib, but what last minutes before going to bed they will spend together with her. Mom or dad put Alenka on her knees in the evening and caressed her. Mom sang to her daughter, dad read her a fairy tale. Both the baby and the parents enjoyed these tender moments from the bottom of their hearts. After 15 minutes, the parents kissed Alenka, said that now it was time to sleep, and put the girl to bed.

On the first day, the baby, seeing how her mother left the room, tried to protest. Then mother returned to her bed, took Alenka by the handle and said: "Sleep, be smart, and tomorrow night I will sing to you again." To her surprise, the girl immediately fell silent. These moments of undivided mother's attention were too valuable for her, she loved her mother's gentle voice and affectionate hugs too much ...

At 6 pm, Denis's father was returning from work. Mom fussed, preparing dinner, and cursed that Denis was constantly getting in the way under her feet. Dad talked about problems at work, and his tense-sounding voice inspired the boy with inexplicable anxiety. At dinner, Denis fidgeted in his chair and constantly intervened in the conversation of his parents, which they clearly did not like. Finally, after washing the dishes, the mother turned to the boy: "And now, Deniska, it's time for the evening ritual!" "Upa! Ritual! Ritual!" - the baby shouted joyfully and rushed into the bathroom, pulling off his clothes as he went. He knew that now his time was coming: when his mother would talk to him, read to him and play his games! "Finally!" the boy rejoiced, enthusiastically pulling on his pajamas...

Even if you haven't had the opportunity to work with your baby all day, you can catch up during the evening ritual. Use these precious moments for intimacy and affection, conversations, secrets and quiet games. It is these happy moments that will remain in the memory of the child for life!

Svetlana Bernard
From the book "100 simple ways put the baby to sleep

Comment on the article "How to teach a child to fall asleep on his own. Part 2"

I believe that a child should have a ritual for sleep. Right at the level of instinct - so that when certain conditions the "switch" worked. This moment is very important, because the main thing is not to form a negative attitude towards the process of falling asleep! (same with...

Discussion

What if he doesn't take a pacifier?
I just care about the moment - after all, there is a need for satisfaction sucking reflex and won't take a pacifier. And somehow it's a pity not to give the chest to sleep ...

I once said the same thing here .. You just have to always do the same thing during sleep! We have the same .. pajamas + pacifier + mobile + kiss and that's it ...
even if several once he throws out the nipple, just go and wash the nipple, give it to the child, say goodbye and go out ...
pah pah also always slept without any trawling

Dream. A child from 1 to 3. Raising a child from one to three years old: hardening and development, nutrition and illness, daily routine and development And another question - should these rituals be the same for dad and mom? How can it be easier for a child to fall asleep? I mean of course...

Discussion

Evening swim, put in bed, kissed, left. That's all:) Before there was feeding after bathing before going to bed, up to about a year.
To some extent, this is a ritual for us, because. the crib is only for sleeping and the child knows that once they put it, then you need to sleep :) Lately may be asked to sleep. And the time is approximately observed so that usually always ready to sleep at the appointed time.
Yes, all the rituals we have are the same, both for sleeping, and for eating and the rest. If Cyril is not with me, the rest, if necessary, is explained what and how. It’s easier for us, both with the elder and with the younger.

We have nothing special. Bathing and sleeping at the same time :)

Bedtime rituals will help your child fall asleep faster. Your baby is already 2 years old, and he is noticeably different from other children. All his peers are interested in the world, they start talking, but he is silent and not at all happy with gentle hugs.

Discussion

Good afternoon I have no experience in raising such small children, but I remembered our local forum. There, one forum member's daughter (4 years old, if I'm not mistaken) slept little, it was clear that the child wanted to sleep, but did not get enough sleep ... they eventually turned to an osteopath and he helped. but in general there are drops "Bayu-bye" on herbs, but I don’t know for what age.
Who advises not to rock?????????? so don’t rock them) and your child - be sure! What are you not happy about????? Listen only to your heart! it is bad, on the contrary, to leave the child alone, not to satisfy his needs (for affection, security, the feeling that his mother will help if necessary).

We had it. I did a lot of things, including swaddling. My child, my own arms and legs haunted, sausage, turned inside out and tydy. Swaddled tightly so, otherwise unfolded. She stroked, lay next to her, sang, when she wasn’t swaddling - she let herself be felt, explored - after all, the child DID NOT HAVE all this motherhood. Fighting for two evenings is nothing, I was looking for an approach in this case for 2.5-3 years, everything worked a little, I was looking. And you are looking for, you must feel what exactly your baby needs. Just remember that they did not have a period when their mother wore it with love in herself and did not press it to her boobs. Stock up on patience, soothing tea at night for a child, a pacifier in the end, and stroke and sing and whisper Nice words. All will pass.

A fairy tale is like a ritual of falling asleep. Dream. Child from 1 to 3. Raising a child from one to three years: hardening and development, nutrition and illness, daily routine and development of household skills. People, at what age do children begin to fall asleep under a fairy tale?

Discussion

Mityusha always just "walked around" from the tales told by his mother ... he began to have fun, came to life, asked a bunch of questions .... he began to perceive about 2x, and somehow calmer, but with filmstrips things went even better!

Current page: 6 (total book has 10 pages) [accessible reading excerpt: 7 pages]

sleep associations

At the turn of four months, the way to fall asleep becomes more relevant than ever. The way of falling asleep is an association for falling asleep, that is, without which a person cannot fall asleep, and what he associates with going to sleep.

There is no right or wrong method laying down the child. The process of falling asleep is a habit that parents form in a child. As Mark Weissbluth writes in his book, Healthy sleep– a happy child”, mom or dad can Always consistently and persistently put the baby in the crib while still awake to give him the opportunity to fall asleep on his own, or Always hold on your hands until you are completely asleep.

You can introduce an association to falling asleep to a child already from birth: put him to sleep in a familiar place and the same environment, with the same ritual and with the same associations that do not require the help of adults to fall asleep. All this becomes especially important during the regression period of four months. Do not be discouraged if the baby suddenly fails to fall asleep on its own from the first or even the tenth time. This is normal: the child does not owe anything to anyone. The main thing is to keep in mind the thought: under what conditions the baby fell asleep, he will want the same conditions when he wakes up. Therefore, try to persistently and consistently introduce sleep associations that will help the child move from one sleep cycle to another without help: without feeding, without motion sickness, without a pacifier if you need to look for it and give it to the child every hour and a half.

The main mistake of parents is that during the regression, and just in the first months of the baby's life, they try to put the child to bed in any way: by feeding, rocking, carrying in their arms. Sometimes this is justified, for example if the child is sick or you are so tired that you cannot act consistently and persistently. But the child's crisis is over, the stage of increased anxiety and nervousness is left behind, and the parents continue to act according to their usual pattern, and they don't even notice it. And often they do not know that their bedding algorithm is the cause of frequent nighttime awakenings. At first, such a way of falling asleep, such as, for example, rocking or carrying in your arms, becomes habitual for the child, then, if it is used every day, it becomes common and, as a result, the only possible way, when the baby really cannot fall asleep in another way.

When a child wakes up at night very often and requires motion sickness or feeding before falling asleep, he does not manipulate parents. There is no point in getting angry and angry at the baby, because it only aggravates the situation. Unfortunately, for a child now this is the only possible way falling asleep, and it was the parents who formed such a habit, which means that the parents should change it. The habit is fixed, and the family gets stuck in motion sickness or hourly feeding for many months, the mother brings herself to physical and emotional exhaustion and does not understand how she ended up in the abyss of lack of sleep, fatigue and irritation.

So, it is necessary to calm the child with any accessible ways but not before falling asleep. If the baby calms down from motion sickness, you can rock him, but not before falling asleep. If feeding and nipple help, fine, but not before falling asleep. The child must be awake in the crib. It is necessary to relax him to a state in which he really wants to sleep, but is still aware of himself, and then persistently and consistently put the half-asleep baby in the crib so that he falls asleep on his own. In this case, there is no need to leave the room if you sleep here. Your presence calms him, and if, upon waking up, he sees you sleeping next to him, nothing will change for him: he fell asleep and woke up in same conditions. He will not scream and cry, because the situation has not changed. This system is valid even during increased nervousness, colic or regression of four months. We cannot avoid the challenges of growing up, but we must do our best not to introduce sleep associations that require our participation and will make life difficult for us in the future.

If the association to fall asleep with the help of parents has already been established, it can and should be changed. How to do this gently and gradually, we will talk in one of the following chapters.

Awakenings from overexcitement

The second common reason for frequent nighttime awakenings is overexcitation.

In children under three years of age, the processes of excitation in the nervous system significantly predominate over the processes of inhibition, so babies easily turn on. If the child is not put to bed on time, his nervous system begins to work with overstrain. When a certain resource allocated for wakefulness ends, and the child is not yet sleeping, he draws energy from reserves, gets tired and overexcited. It is much more difficult for a tired, agitated and irritated baby to fall asleep. Even if the child managed to be put to bed, the excitement does not allow him to fully sleep. baby sleeps more superficial sleep wakes up more often and gets up earlier than usual in the morning.

Often they try to put the child to sleep immediately after active games, without giving time to calm down. The optimal bedtime has already been missed, the baby is overexcited, the carousel in the nervous system is spinning. What to do?

First of all, it is necessary to organize the daily regimen, taking into account the time of wakefulness for a certain age, to prevent overindulgence and overexcitation, and to start preparing for sleep in advance.

Wake time is the time between sleeps from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep. that is, it is the interval between when the child opens his eyes and closes them. The time of preparation for sleep and the process of falling asleep are also included in the period of wakefulness. IN different books and different sites provide tables of waking hours for each age with different indicators from each other. I offer you my summary table with the approximate time of wakefulness for each age.

Table 4. Time of wakefulness (WB)

This data is a benchmark, the most the right way find out the duration of wakefulness of your child, marking the time from awakening to the first signs of fatigue.

signs of fatigue

Signs of fatigue, or signs of drowsiness, are individual in children. One baby is sad, his gaze becomes detached, the other yawns and rubs his eyes, the third pulls his ears. My daughter, when she wants to sleep, raises her hands and starts tousling her hair. To understand how your baby shows sleepiness, you need to observe him and look for his individual first signs of fatigue. When a child is naughty, cries, whimpers - these are not the first, and the last signs of fatigue. In this case, you will have to act very quickly, because in just ten minutes a tantrum from fatigue can occur, and it will be very difficult for the child to fall asleep.

So, your child's wake time is the time from waking up to the first signs of fatigue, plus a maximum of 10-15 minutes. It should be borne in mind that as the child grows, signs of fatigue may change. And when the baby grows up a little, he may begin to hide his true state, because it is too interesting around. When it's hard to recognize the signs of a child's tiredness, sleep and wake charts are needed as a guide to start looking at the child before the end of the "official" wake time.

By the way, the time of wakefulness can be much shorter than the standard (the baby got sick or tired faster) and change during the day. For example, the time of the first wakefulness - from awakening to the first daytime sleep - is often shorter than subsequent ones. Also, the child will get tired faster and want to sleep earlier if for some reason his sleep before that was less than an hour. In this case, you need to tune in to the fact that the baby will need to be put to bed earlier than you would do after a full day's sleep.

Wake time is the battery life. The battery runs out faster if we actively use it. The “battery” of the child will run out faster if he had a busy day full of impressions and emotions: we went shopping together, guests came to you, you went on vacation ... The charge will end earlier than usual if the baby is sick or worries age crisis. Whatever happens, there is only one global rule: look at the child, not at the clock, tabular norms are just a guideline.

Window to sleep

So, as soon as the baby shows signs of fatigue: yawns, rubs his eyes, pulls his ears or gets sad, he must immediately begin to be laid, because even 15 minutes of delay can be critical, especially if the wakefulness period is short, one and a half to two hours. With age, the time from the appearance of signs of fatigue to overexcitation will lengthen. The so-called window to sleep will also increase - this is the time when it is easiest to fall asleep, this is the gap between the appearance of signs of fatigue and overexcitation. The kid actively walked, tired, yawns, but has not yet become overexcited. This period of time is the window to sleep - auspicious time to put the baby to sleep. The duration of the window to sleep is individual. For some children, this "correct fatigue" lasts only 5 minutes: yawned - and did not have time. For others, the window to sleep is 10-15 minutes, for others it is half an hour. With age, the window to sleep will become larger.

False signs of fatigue

Many parents ask: what to do if the baby yawns already 20-30 minutes after waking up; does it need to be installed? If it's not a newborn, then of course not! If a child yawns half an hour after sleep, this does not mean that he is ready to sleep. It is very important not to confuse signs of fatigue and boredom! When we read a very boring book (hopefully not this one) or watch a boring movie, we also begin to yawn, although we do not want to sleep at all. Once, a mother said with sadness about her baby: “He is bored with me ...” Do not make such hasty conclusions! The kid is not bored with you! He was tired of some kind of activity, or maybe the occupation was not chosen according to his age. Switch it to something else and watch the baby.

If the yawning stopped immediately, and the end of wakefulness is still far enough away, then everything is in order, the baby just got bored. If the child continues to yawn when changing activities, this may be a sign of accumulated sleep deprivation. In this case, we try to “sleep off” the baby, prolonging daytime sleep. We reduce the load, “saving the battery”, and increase the wakefulness time very gradually by 10-15 minutes, bringing it to lower bound age norm. This is necessary because too short a wake-up time can lead to a subsequent short sleep, since the child has not worked up. And then short sleep the child will want to sleep earlier again. So the circle can close.

So, now we know that we need to put the child to bed on time, without waiting for overexcitation, because overexcitation is one of the most common causes of frequent nighttime awakenings.

A common mistake many parents make is that they consider crying, whims or tantrums to be signs of fatigue, but these are signs of overwork.

To improve your baby's sleep, first of all, learn to see his individual first signs of fatigue.

Observe the child for several days and write down your observations in the table.

Fill out this table for 3-5 days, and you will understand how much your baby can stay awake, how he shows that he wants to sleep. Your task is to learn how to "catch a window into a dream."

Preparation for sleep

Now that you know how to recognize the signs of fatigue, you need to prepare for bed so that bedtime is as quick and pleasant as possible.

Very often, the child falls asleep for a long time, so it is not possible to put him to bed by the allotted time. Let's assume that we know the optimal time for our child to be awake and the moment when it is time for him to sleep. But how do you make it go faster?

So that the process of laying does not stretch for an indefinite time, it is necessary to prepare the baby and his room for bed. After active games, the child needs to calm down, for this, switch him to calm games.

The scheme of the wakefulness period looks something like this:

- active wakefulness;

- calm wakefulness;

- bedtime ritual

- falling asleep.

Immediately after sleep, we must fill the baby's leisure time with active activities: gymnastics, massages, swimming, games with rattles and sound effects. When 30–40 minutes remain before the end of wakefulness, we begin to prepare for sleep: we change active games to calm ones, ventilate the room, spread the bed, change the diaper, feed ... If the child already has signs of fatigue, and we will spend another 20–30 minutes preparing , then we will miss a favorable moment for falling asleep. The baby will close the window to sleep, and there will be overexcitation.

How to prepare a room for sleep? The room should not be too hot or too cold, the ideal temperature for sleeping is 19-23 degrees, humidity is 45-55 percent. It makes sense to use humidifiers, especially in winter, because the air becomes dry due to heating. During the day, dim the lighting by closing the curtains. It is not necessary to achieve complete darkness, it is enough to darken the room to make it easier for the baby to fall asleep.

Before going to bed, preparation begins at least an hour before bedtime. During this time, it is necessary to change active games to calm ones, bathe the child (if bathing amuses and walks around the baby, it is better to spend it earlier, during active wakefulness), feed, change clothes, and do this before the first signs of fatigue. As soon as the child begins to signal to us that he is tired, we move on to the ritual.

Ritual before bed

A ritual is 10-15 minutes before going to bed, filled with actions in a certain sequence. If during quiet wakefulness there were calming activities in any sequence, then in the ritual it is important that the same actions are repeated day after day one after another. Thanks to this, the child will quickly get used to the fact that after his mother put on his pajamas, read a book, sang a certain song, then nothing but sleep will happen. The ritual marks sleep, sets the baby up for it and makes the transition from wakefulness to rest gradual.

Ritual Criteria

- Done right before bed.

- It takes 10-15 minutes in time.

- It calms, that is, we do not include the competition "Who will crawl under the bed faster" in the ritual.

- Marks sleep, i.e. you always do these actions before going to bed in the same sequence.

- Saturates with attention, that is, the parent who conducts the ritual does not do it casually, but is fully involved in the process.

- The ritual and laying down are carried out by the same person.

Examples of rituals

There are many types of rituals. There are no right or wrong. The most important thing is that these activities meet the criteria, are carried out every day and, of course, both the child and you like it.

Now your task is to think and write your rituals for daytime and nighttime sleep. You can choose actions from the list or include something of your own. It is also important that the ritual has a clear beginning and end, for example, at the beginning you turn on the night light, and at the end you turn it off.

Your nap ritual

Your sleep ritual

Write down your actions in the ritual. Perform this ritual before every daytime and nighttime sleep. Rituals for daytime and nighttime sleep may differ slightly. The main thing is that everyone who puts the child to bed should do the same actions before going to bed.

Nutrition and sleep

What else affects nighttime awakenings? Many believe that a child, especially an infant, wakes up at night due to hunger. Regarding night hunger and feeding, there are different opinions. Some experts believe that a child under six months old has every right to eat several times a night, because the volume of his stomach is not large enough. In addition, if the child is breastfeeding(A breast milk digested fairly quickly, much faster than formulas), he may wake up every two to three hours to eat. Other experts, such as Gina Ford, are sure that the baby should wake up no more than twice a night by month old, and by six months, night feedings should stop completely. Most of Russian pediatricians says that night feedings up to six months are really necessary, and after six months the volume of the child's stomach is such that he may not eat for quite a long time.

I believe that if a child eats well during the day and is gaining weight, then nighttime feedings should in any case be less frequent than daytime ones. If everything happens the other way around, then there may be vicious circle. The baby wakes up quite often at night, and parents offer him breast or formula to put him to sleep. The kid eats up during the night and eats little during the day, and when he tries to reduce night feedings, he strongly protests, because he is really hungry. Accordingly, in order to establish a night's sleep, it is necessary to build a feeding regimen. The most important rule: the child should eat more during the day than at night, and in any case, daytime feedings should occur more often than nighttime ones.

Night terrors and nightmares

What else can cause a child to wake up at night? Of course, from night fears and nightmares. They appear in children most often after 1.5–2 years, and these are two completely different phenomena. Nightmare- this is a terrible dream from which the baby woke up crying. As a rule, nightmares happen in the second half of the night, closer to the morning. The main criterion for a nightmare is that upon awakening the child realizes that he has woken up, and, waking up, sometimes even talks about his dream. After such an awakening, the baby can be calmed and put back to sleep. Most importantly, he responds to sedation. Everyone has nightmares sometimes, it's normal. The situation needs to be analyzed and action taken if they are haunted too often or the nightmare is recurring.

A completely different picture with night fears. Most often, night terrors occur in the first half of the night. The child can jump up, while his eyes are open, and the look is empty and unconscious. He screams and cries, but does not respond to your calming actions. The phenomenon of night fears is that the baby is sleeping at this moment. If you look at his electroencephalogram, it will show that he is in deep sleep: his brain is asleep, but his body is awake. How to help the baby at this moment?

First of all, make sure he is safe, because he is out of control. As a rule, an attack of night fear does not last too long, it is more terrible to watch than to be in it, because the baby is sleeping and is not aware of himself, he is not afraid. If the attack does not stop within a few minutes, the child can be picked up, taken to another room, preferably a cooler one, washed cool water, help move out deep stage sleep to a more superficial one. When he wakes up, you can calm him down and put him back to sleep.

It is very important in the morning not to focus on what happened. How will you feel if they suddenly start telling you that you jumped up at night, ran around the room with bulging eyes and behaved strangely? You will be at least embarrassed by what happened. The same thing happens with a child. If two year old to tell what happened to him at night, he will be afraid to fall asleep, expecting a repetition of the situation. Do not focus the child's attention on the incident, just analyze the emotional components of the day and make the situation more calm.

Often, children have scary, frightening dreams after watching aggressive cartoons, films or news stories that the baby should not have seen. scary dreams can provoke a dysfunctional, tense situation in the family at the current moment. The less emotional, exciting factors and frightening events during the day, the less scary cartoons, programs or films a child sees, the calmer he sleeps.

Cozy bed for baby

Parents ask a lot of questions not only about how to sleep, but also where to sleep. Organization method bed is common cause disputes between supporters different approaches. Where, in general, can a child sleep, what to choose from? The baby can sleep in his own crib in a separate room or in the parents' room. His bed can stand close to the bed of his parents. The side can be raised or lowered. In the second case, the bed resembles a trailer and is a continuation of the adults' sleeping place. Finally, the child can sleep in the same bed as the parents.

Renowned American pediatrician Dr. Sire and co-sleeping specialist Dr. McKenna state that co-sleeping good for the child, it reduces the risk sudden death baby in bed, fastens emotional connection between him and his parents and improves the quality of sleep for both the child and the parents.

Another opinion is shared by Gina Ford and Dr. Weissbluth. They believe that the child should have his own sleeping place, sleeping in the same bed is unsafe, sleep becomes more disturbing for the child and parents, incorrect associations with sleep are formed, and, in general, the baby should sleep separately.

I think the best approach is the one that works best for your family. There is no clear right or the wrong way sleeping arrangements. The most important thing is that it is comfortable for everyone and that everyone sleeps well. Each way of organizing a bed has its pros and cons.

Sleeping in the same bed is a great option if it is chosen consciously and suits the parents. But often, judging by the experience of people seeking advice on establishing baby sleep, joint sleep is rather a choice without a choice, a forced measure. When parents are unable to get up, take their baby in their arms, feed or rock them ten times a night, it is easier for them to take the baby to their bed. If everyone is happy with it, then there is no problem. And in a joint dream with its safe organization, you can see only pluses.

If this is a forced measure, what problems do parents most often talk about? Firstly, about crowding and lack of space, which is why dad often moves to sleep in another room. Secondly, the mother is afraid to move, roll over, because the child immediately wakes up from this, her body becomes numb, she gets up broken and tired. Thirdly, the child and mother can wake each other up with their movements, sleep becomes more disturbing. Fourthly, many mothers are afraid that the child will roll off the bed, even if there is some kind of side, so they sleep anxiously and superficially.

What are the disadvantages of having a baby sleep in a separate bed? If the baby needs to be fed at night, then he will have to get up, pick him up, feed him, put him back, when he is shifted, he may wake up. If there are many such episodes, the whole family does not get enough sleep.

Up to six months, it is recommended to sleep with the baby in the same room, this significantly reduces the risk of sudden death of newborns. Transferring a son or daughter to a separate room, in my opinion, makes sense only when the baby and the whole family are really ready for this. In our country, it is customary to “resettle” children after two to two and a half years, but in different families it can be different.

In my opinion, the perfect way the organization of a bed for babies who are still sleeping in the room with their parents is a bed with a trailer: the side rail is removed from the crib, and the crib is pushed close to the parents' bed. This type of bed is also called co-sleeping. Professor James McKenna, an expert on co-sleeping, writes that co-sleeping is not just about sleeping in a family bed. Shared sleep it is also considered such an organization of a bed in which you can reach the child with your hand. If a crib with or without a side rail is pushed close to your bed, then this is also co-sleeping.

"Bed with a trailer" - the side rail on the crib is removed, the crib is moved close to the adult bed.

How convenient is this way of organizing a bed? First of all, everyone has their own space. In addition, the child gets used to the fact that the crib is his place to sleep. She becomes his association for falling asleep, he has the ability to spin, spin and do not interfere with anyone. Parents, being in their bed, can roll over from side to side, move and not be afraid to wake the baby. They are calm that the child will not fall out, because there are bumpers on one side of it, and mom or dad on the other. If the baby is fed at night, the mother can move, feed him and move away, she does not need to get up. If something alarmed the baby at night, it is enough to put a hand on the child and calm him down.

The method is almost perfect, I don’t see any cons, the main thing is to make such a joint sleep safe. The crib, if it does not have a side, should stand close to the parents' bed and be well fixed. Under no circumstances should she move away. You can put the crib against the wall, attach it with special clamps to the bed of adults or prop it up. It is necessary to ensure that there are no cracks and gaps between the children's mattress and adult bed. If there is a gap, it must be laid well, well, so that the child does not fall into it at night or get stuck in any part of the body.

I lined this gap with a soft side of the crib. These bumpers are located inside the crib and cover its solid walls from the baby. Since one wall was removed, a free side remained. I folded it in half lengthwise and laid a gap between the children's and adult mattresses. Then I fixed this roller with strings, tied it to the crib so that it would not stray, fall down and jump up.

With this method of organizing a bed, if the child is alone in the room for some time, I also recommend getting a baby monitor to watch the baby. While the baby still does not know how to get off the bed on its own, but at the same time it is already crawling well, it is imperative to monitor what is happening on the bed, because the baby can, upon waking up, crawl from its bed to an adult, crawl to the edge and fall off. So what have you already done:

1. Set goals and work on motivation.

2. Analyzed your sleep situation.

3. Find out the duration of your child's wakefulness and learn to recognize his first signs of fatigue.

4. They came up with and introduced a ritual before going to bed.

5. Analyzed the melatonin production chain.

6. Identified associations for falling asleep, without which the baby cannot fall asleep.

Great! you spent great job! But we still have a lot of work ahead of us!

After a day full of impressions, evening comes. Often it doesn't turn out the way you want. For you and for the little one. The child is already tired: he plays reluctantly, often changes toys, is irritated and whimpers for any reason ... Believe me, he does this not on purpose, but because his nervous system has not yet fully grown stronger.

Too many impressions

Although the baby slept several times during the day, during these hours, as well as during wakefulness, he was affected by many various factors(After all, something is constantly happening in the house). The sight and hearing of the crumbs worked, emotions arose. There were a lot of sensory sensations and smells... After all, the nervous system, it happens, gets out of control - the baby starts to cry. This is the only method available to him to show that he is tired and not feeling well. When a child suffers from colic (most often after dinner or in the evening), you can help him by giving him a massage, holding him upright in his arms. In addition, you need to be patient. Usually after 3-4 months colic disappears by itself.

However, never ignore baby crying. After all, so small gives a signal that he needs your help. Carry it in your arms, hold it close to you or… go for a walk. This is a reliable and proven method!

Who will bathe?

Bathing is not only important hygiene procedure. The baby feels the touch of your gentle, but at the same time confident hands. He carefully examines the face bent over him, listens to the sounds of your voice, and over time begins to compare words with events (“Let's wash our eyes and wipe our face”, “And now with a pen plop-splash on some water!”).

Bathing is great for learning: the baby watches floating toys, admires and plays with foam, plays with fragrant soap, which now and then slips out of his hands. At the same time, he accumulates the experience of touch and spatial sensations. When bathing, do not forget about the correct order: first you need to quickly wash the baby, and only then give him a little time to splash and play.

close your eyes

In the first months of a child's life, you need to adapt to his biological clock- it makes no sense to let the baby cry to hiccups at night in the hope that in the end he will get tired of it. To make the baby fall asleep faster, press his head to the left side of the chest (where the your heart) and wiggle lightly. Turn on calm, relaxing music (experts have proven that all sorts of monotonous sounds, even the buzz of a running hair dryer, have a lulling effect). Some parents generally advise getting into the car with the baby and driving for about ten minutes or a little more - the little one will probably fall asleep, but leave this option as a last resort.

A very important ritual

In the second half of the year, the actions that accompany falling asleep mean a lot to the child. He remembers what is happening better and every evening is in anticipation. If the same events are regularly repeated in a certain sequence, it is easier for him to get used to them.

When in the evening you bathe the baby, feed and put him to bed, read him a fairy tale for the coming sleep, kiss him, and then turn off the light, all this remains in the memory of the crumbs. The ritual gives the little one a sense of reassurance that everything is in order, and helps to relax. This is the first step to ensure that he sleeps peacefully through the night. Only calm and happy children sleep long and sweetly!

To the delight of Moidodyr

Bathing is a whole action that serves several purposes at the same time.

Firstly, it makes the child clean and thus protects against skin and allergic diseases.

Secondly, it strengthens his health by hardening.

Thirdly, is excellent remedy, forcing the little one to actively move and get well before an evening sleep.

Fourthly, it is a source of daily pleasure for the child and parents ...

And besides everything, it is an excellent occasion for communication between the baby and his father. With this you will receive real help, baby with dad - an opportunity to get to know each other better and make friends, and all together - an unforgettable feeling of unity and harmony!

Everything is quiet

Infants in their early years need safety and proper care. After birth, a person is much less ready for independent life than an animal. He needs parental care. Only with constant contact with mom and dad does the baby feel calm and serene. Therefore, try to take it in your arms more often, swing it.