Do not forget that you are not alone in this world. Consult with doctors, do not hesitate to ask friends and relatives for help.

It is on the principle of collective mutual assistance that this article was written, it contains advice from experienced caregivers who were able to survive all the trials that have now fallen on you.

Tips for caring for someone with dementia:

Hello Lila.
Mental problems must be treated necessarily and consciously, but it is not you who will cure him with your presence.

And his own steps to cure the disease.
It may be much deeper than you think.
Sudden seizures from the subconscious "roll" for a reason.

It is necessary to "fish out" the problem, but this can only be achieved if he works on it.

Reflect, Analyze what exactly "brings" him out of himself, what is the reason?

It may not even be related to this life...
Therefore, until he is cured, it is dangerous with him.
All in your hands.
No one will force you to live with him
You are responsible for yourself.
Take care of your life.
All the best.

Online consultation How to behave with a patient

Lily, hello!

From love for such patients, one should flee to the other side of the world.

Reflections on this score are inappropriate and life-threatening.

Diseases of this kind cannot be cured, unfortunately.

You can only wait for exacerbations, unpredictable behavior and threats to your life.

The illness of MCH should be dealt with by people close to him, and not by you. And only from relatives /according to our rules/ will they accept an application to the medical institution. If your marriage was formalized, then your statements would be legally competent.

And native MCH do not leave you alone for several reasons:

1. The aggression of such a patient focuses on the person closest to him, in this case, on you. The rest of the family is so. remain in /relative, of course/ safety.

2. Psychologically, the presence of a woman in such a patient reduces his aggressiveness and the frequency of exacerbations. That, apparently, is well known to members of the patient's family. That is, you are being used.

3. Perhaps close MCH hope to persuade you to marry. Then you will have to deal with statements, and ambulances from mental hospitals, and treatment. Since it is hard for healthy people to do similar procedures, the family may want to shift these worries to someone else's hands.

I have discussed the possible versions. There may be one or more valid reasons, from this list or from another.

The best option for you would be to leave "in an unknown direction".

And please, now you don’t need to think or talk about sacrifice, love, etc.

Because in the absence of a “beating girl”, relatives will sooner begin to treat their son. And in this way you will actually help a person suffering from such a serious illness.

All the best to you.

Sincerely, Svetlana

How to deal with a mentally ill person? sirin_from_shrm wrote on August 9th, 2017

In order to understand at least a little how reduced emotions are in mentally ill people, you need to remember yourself - in the most terrible moments of despair - when you don’t want anything, when you feel complete isolation and detachment from real life ..

In mentally ill people, feelings of attachment, and even feelings of love, for those who were previously dear (to their mother, for example) decrease. There is some numbness. For example, when meeting with acquaintances or friends, there is no longer that emotional outburst that was before.
If an ordinary mentally healthy person can rejoice at a discount on milk or meat in a supermarket, then it is useless for a sick person to talk about their joy - they will not understand and appreciate it, because on this moment(while he is sick) he is more often worried about completely different problems.
Therefore, when communicating, you should not expect that in this way you can cheer up a sick person.
You will have to reduce your emotions, as sometimes they can unnecessarily irritate a sick person.
It is better to behave calmly, neutrally. You can’t be zealous and talk about what a person needs Fresh air and you need to immediately go for a walk. Do not hesitate - if a person were healthy, he would go for a walk without any advice. Do not want - this is not the word that reflects the true state of affairs. There are no emotions, which means there is no motivation, motivation, mood, etc.
It cannot be given in words. You can meet misunderstanding and irritation.
No need to "pull" a person away from the computer, talking about the dangers of radiation. It is sometimes easier for a sick person to write than to build his thoughts with the help of words. Many mentally ill people find it much easier to communicate virtually.
You can’t say insulting words to the patient, namely, “I’ll call you a psycho-carriage now,” “it’s time for you to go to the hospital,” or something like that. The reaction may be unpredictable. Again, due to the fact that the state of the brain (reactions occurring in it) does not always allow you to answer with dignity, and it is logical to build a defense against such an attack, and even rudeness, if you like.

Therefore, as expected, a person will defend himself. And he will do it the best he can. Do not forget that at the moment of excitement, emotional arousal, mental stress, slightly different reactions occur in the brain - dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline - all these neurotransmitters may not be controlled by behavior.
With mentally ill people it is better, in general, to talk less on such topics that will unnecessarily strain their brain.
You can discuss any domestic problems, but do not make long-term plans for life, etc.
You should not complain about the fact that the whole life will now go awry, that the wife / husband will leave, etc.

How to recognize a person mental disorder disabled - www.moscow-faq.ru/all_question/experience/ust/2011/July/34560/179791

It is important to remember that a mentally ill person, if he is adequate, himself perfectly understands that he is sick, and he really wants to get rid of this disease, but is not yet able to do this. The thought constantly sits in his brain that he is not like everyone else (although outwardly he is no different from healthy people), and that he will no longer be able to live as before. It is difficult for a sick person to see cheerful, laughing people, because he himself cannot behave like that.
That's why, important principle- it's peace and goodwill. Less excessive activity, less notations and moralizing.
It is important to believe that this disease is curable. It is important to instill this faith in a sick person. Let, not with words, but with deeds, deeds, emotions.
These people differ from healthy people only in reduced emotions. And there are a lot of cases when they were cured by helping themselves on their own - fortitude, knowledge, desire to be healthy.

If a sick person is not adequate, then one should not negotiate, “bargain” (whether we go to be treated or not, eat a pill or not), you should not explain anything. It's useless.
In these cases (for the benefit of the sick person) you should immediately resort to the help of psychiatrists. By any means, a person should be hospitalized so that nothing terrible happens.

How to find out which hospital a person was taken to? - http://www.moscow-faq.ru/all_q...

Do not take on the impossible, trying to save the family at all costs. You need to soberly assess your skills: put up with the manifestations of the disease (and this is suspicion, and suspiciousness, and feeling special, etc.), the degree of patience, the ability to protect yourself physically, if necessary.

At what time of the year do exacerbations occur? mental illness? -

Earlier we provided the reader with some information about the nature of mental illness and the specific world in which the mentally ill person lives. Today we will talk about the nuances of contact between healthy and sick people from the point of view of psychiatry.

Important features of the perception and behavior of the mentally ill

When you see a mentally ill person, you must first of all remember that he perceives the world differently from you. His feelings are like a video camera with a dirty lens - they transmit, distorting reality in one way or another. You speak seemingly simple and ordinary things- and the patient can see in them, for example, some kind of prejudice against him or a threat, perceiving everything completely different from what it is. Similar phenomena sometimes occur in everyday life between healthy people. In this case, we say "one misunderstood the other." When communicating with people who are not doing well with the psyche, a similar factor of misunderstanding is, alas, not a misunderstanding, but a tendency.

It is also common for psychiatric patients to emotional lability- they tend to be more irritable and quick-tempered than ordinary people. They can also be depressed, or, conversely, in an inadequately elevated mood. Also, let's not forget about the paradoxical nature of judgments and the presence of hallucinations in many patients. All this greatly complicates communication, especially in the latter case, when your words may be accompanied by comments from other “voices” generated by the sick psyche of your interlocutor.

How to establish and maintain contact with the mentally ill?

First of all, try to gain the trust of the interlocutor. When you should behave tactfully and carefully, while maintaining maximum calm. Due to the fact that your words, facial expressions or gestures can be misinterpreted, try to transfer at least part of what you want to say to a non-verbal level - smile, be welcoming, radiate kindness and positive. But do it only if it works sincerely; if it doesn’t work out, it’s better not to, because this contingent of patients has, in addition to everything else, a very high level ingenuity, flair for falsehood - let's not forget it.

Try to understand what the interlocutor wants to tell you and what drives him. An important point here is the undesirability of imposing one's own point of view, even if it is completely correct. Mentally ill people always persist in defending their delusions, because it is precisely in them that the essence of their illness lurks. So if there is an urgent need to convince a mentally ill person in something, then it’s better, competently asking right questions, to help him come to the things that you want to convey. But if you ask something - while doing this, observe if the patient comes up with answers on the fly, if he adapts them in a way that is beneficial to him. With such tendencies, it is very dangerous to ask questions - delusional symptoms may deepen, acquire new nuances.

Sometimes the patient avoids contact. He, realizing the difference between his perception of the world and the perception of other people, deafly “barricades himself” so that others do not know about his beliefs. Such patients will agree with you, and sometimes even inappropriately, but this is only so that you quickly leave them alone. Or, alternatively, they just don't want to talk to you. If not urgent need- do not particularly try to break through this barrier so as not to cause unnecessary irritation, but if a person is close to you and you need contact with him, first observe him more carefully, try to determine without words what is going on in his soul. You will be helped by the expression of the eyes, facial expressions, movements, posture, timbre of the voice, and finally, behavior. If you observe unobtrusively, then the patient himself may open up and want to talk. In this case, seize the moment.

Most dangerous diseases in terms of suicidal risk, there are mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar disorder, alcoholism and other drug addictions, schizophrenia, anxiety (including panic) and personality disorders

When one of your relatives or friends began to "rage", behave inappropriately - this is noticed immediately. However, this is not always the case. Most often, the disease begins gradually and imperceptibly. Therefore, if someone you know suddenly changed his habits, began to avoid people, isolated himself, drastically changed the rhythm of life, or he developed new, previously uncharacteristic hobbies, it would be useful to talk to find out if everything is in order with him. Moreover, the closer the person is to you, the more careful and impartial you need to be, because unnecessary emotions in such a delicate matter often harm.

Principles of communication with the mentally ill

If it so happened that a mental illness in one of your friends, relatives or friends is a phenomenon that has already taken place, then take the following tips into service.

Treat the sick person like you would a normal person. Respect him. Love. Do not be afraid. After all, he is a complete normal person He just has mental problems. Condescension, intolerance, or any other attitude that emphasizes some kind of inequality can erect an insurmountable barrier between you in a second. Keep your thoughts simple, avoid complex phrases that can be misinterpreted.

At the same time, one cannot act as if the disease does not exist. Naked denial won't solve the problem. Just build your communication in such a way as not to cause the interlocutor any shame or desire to bypass sharp corners side. Although it can be very difficult, but try to perceive it as common illness, which they talk about without hesitation, for example, as arterial hypertension. At the same time, remember the tact. It is difficult to maintain such a fine line in communication, but it is necessary.

Triangle "patient-relatives-doctor"

If a patient consults a psychiatrist on an outpatient basis or was treated in a hospital, it is necessary to control whether he takes medication and whether he follows all the doctor's recommendations. It is important here, while remaining calm, to be persistent and to ensure that healing process, if it is still needed, was not interrupted for a day. It is necessary to fight against distrust of the doctor and unwillingness to be treated if these problems arise.

In the case of regular medication, watch for possible side effects - tremor, fever, fussiness, or vice versa, stiffness of movement. As a rule, patients know their drugs, their doses, and all side effects without exception. But sometimes the picture can be similar to an exacerbation of psychosis, so if something goes wrong, as usual, do not hesitate to immediately consult a doctor. He'll figure it out.

Until the 18th century, the mentally ill in Russia were under the care of monasteries. That is why the Kolmovsky Hospital is considered the oldest institution for the insane in Russia: it dates back to 1706, when Metropolitan Job of Novgorod built a house for foundlings and a disabled hospital in the Kolmovsky Monastery near Novgorod, where people with mental disorders were also kept.

In general, for relatives and friends, direct communication with the attending physician is by no means superfluous. This is necessary both for organization and for the doctor to be more informed, because the opinion "from outside" can be very useful. And it often happens that in any family in which there is a mentally ill person, there are so many problems due to complex relationships that, even if non-drug, but still, the patient's relatives may need the help of a psychiatrist. There is no need to be ashamed of this, because the knot complex interactions in such a case, it is always necessary to somehow unravel, and it is better to do this together, under the guidance of a specialist. As practice shows, a normal family environment contributes to high-quality and long-term remissions. And vice versa - patients from families with unresolved chronic conflicts are more frequent guests of psychiatric hospitals.

Sobriety

A mentally ill person should not take alcohol or drugs. Any drug that changes the mental state is strictly contraindicated for those whose mental state is already changed. Even more - elementary, familiar to all of us tea and coffee, if consumed excessively, can provoke an exacerbation of the disease. So that has to be monitored as well. However, when taking care of the patient, do not solve all the questions for him - he is not a child. Be his most invisible helper.

Organization of the time and duties of the mentally ill

Strictly monitor whether the patient observes the order. Does he take care of himself? If necessary, gently shame. If the patient is surrounded by order in things, then it will be at least a little, but help order in thoughts.

It is advisable to observe the regime of the day. A stable schedule becomes something familiar to rely on. And it is especially good if the day of the mentally ill begins with sports - effective blood circulation is always good for the head. This stimulates natural reserves and ensures the normal action of psychopharmacological agents.

Involve the mentally ill in work according to their ability. Scientists have long proven that labor, especially physical labor, improves mental state. Getting the patient to work can sometimes be a very difficult task, but it is necessary. It is necessary to teach him so that, by making efforts and working on himself, he overcomes apathy - this is how the disease recedes.

Drawing, sculpting or any other creative activity helps to effectively sublimate some of the problems. On this, the elements of which will not interfere in any home where there is a mentally ill person. Take time to do something light and creative.

There is a lot of controversy about the value of creativity of patients with schizophrenia. Despite the fact that there are, although isolated, but very striking examples of talented people suffering from schizophrenia, including those awarded Nobel Prize, here it is impossible to exclude the development of the disease after creative achievements.

Set an example for the patient. If you are demanding of him, but you yourself do not comply with these requirements, build a barrier of double standards. The patient will feel inferior and suffer. Yes, and the fulfillment of the requirements will be under big question. So if you want to go in for sports from a mentally ill person, do it with him. This will give him more strength and desires, and will deepen the trust between you.

And most importantly. Do not take this text as a dry set of instructions that must be followed. Knowledge, of course, is necessary, but first of all, you must adopt love and a sincere desire to help. Strive to catch the notorious moment of contact and mutual understanding, and start from it somehow. Not only inspire, but also feel, perceive. Remember that in front of you is a person who is not stupid, a person who understands everything, even if not in the way you want. Think about your words and actions, carefully weighing them first. When understanding is very important on both sides. Strive for it.

What to do if the patient is rowdy?

How to behave if the patient is excited and in an affect? First of all, of course, call an ambulance or the attending physician, and if necessary, the police.

Don't raise your voice. Smooth timbre and calmness relax, and screaming strains and exacerbates the problem. If you are told hurtful things, accept them peacefully, because it is not a person who speaks, but that part of his “I” that is afflicted with a serious illness.

Don't argue or object. You will not be able to convince the patient of anything, because adrenaline is raging in him, which is always stronger than you. It is better to try to distract the patient and somehow switch him.

If in a calm conversation it is good to look into each other's eyes, because there is more trust, then when the patient is excited, eye contact can do a disservice - the likelihood of a misinterpretation of your view in similar situation increases many times over.

Try to ensure that there are no dangerous objects in the area where the excited patient is staying. Try to remove them as discreetly as possible so as not to provoke an aggravation of the conflict with this action. Also, if there are people nearby who annoy the mentally ill, drive them away. If annoying factor if you are yourself, and there is someone to replace you when you try to have an effective dialogue with the patient - give in immediately.

Even if the situation is extremely difficult - try to show stamina and friendliness to the maximum.

Here comes the end of our small digression to the world of the mentally ill. We hope that we have helped at least to better understand what is going on in the souls of people whom we tend to fear and avoid. As a rule, it is with understanding that the dialogue begins, which is so necessary for those whose world differs from ours for the worse.

Close people are most often afraid of the wrath of a mentally ill person. Most of us learn to deal with irrational (unreasonable, devoid of logic and meaning) delusions, fear, hallucinations and sadness much easier than with irrational anger. Various horror stories and horror films about aggressive psycho killers instantly come to mind.

For all that, a person with a disorder of consciousness is much more likely to simply scream and gesticulate strongly than go on the attack. Nevertheless, in any situation it is necessary to objectively assess the possibility of violence. However, if your friend or relative has never been seen in violence up to this point, then most likely the fear is groundless and the likelihood of physical aggression is small.

First of all, you need to control your own emotional state. If you are both on edge, then first go to different corners and calm down. At least chill yourself. Here are some tips:

Count slowly to 10;
- Breathe deeply and slowly;
- Walk (through the rooms, down the street);
- Try something different, positive and pleasant;
- Take a break (do something around the house).

The situation is easier to control under the condition of a clear and calm behavior. Communication experience is very important when emotions rise. A mentally ill person needs you to exude confidence. Often a firm and soothing voice allows you to quickly eliminate the irrational feelings that overcome the patient. Do not forget that behind rage and confusion, internal resentment and fear are most often hidden.

Give the patient space, be attentive and confident

When dealing with a person in anger, the important thing is that you are simply there. Do not cuddle up to him, walk on his heels and arrange a crush. The patient can become even more angry if he is, as it were, driven into a trap or a corner. Therefore, it is better not to block the exit from the premises, but to stand in such a way that in case of danger you can move away. When a mentally ill person is anxious, beware of any kind of touching unless you are completely sure that physical contact will please him.

Since the anger of the patient is usually caused by a certain reason, be as attentive as possible to him. Try to gently find out the source of the experience. Don't ignore or downplay your worries. Help the patient to focus on what will help cool his rage. Initially, it is worth finding a way to calm down, and later in calm state find out the cause of the anger.

Regardless of whether the patient is restrained or furious, do not allow to cross the line of acceptable behavior. If he raises his voice, throws things, threatens, breaks furniture and interior items, worries neighbors, he should make a restrained but confident remark. Suppose you warn that if he does not stop, then you will leave the house.

Last resort - police

If none of the above helps and the situation becomes threatening, dangerous to health, then perhaps the only way out is to call the police. It is usually very difficult to contact law enforcement agencies in a conflict with a loved one. But with severe mental illness there is simply no other way out.

The speed and efficiency of police work, as a rule, is determined by the severity of the situation (in their opinion) and from the employment on given period. In small settlements the police arrive faster on such calls than in larger metropolitan areas with higher crime rates.

Basic rules to deal with the patient's anger:

Do not lose your temper, speak with restraint and clearly;
- stay calm, do not show your fear, because this can only escalate the situation, or let him know that his aggression scares you;
- save him the opportunity to leave;
- do not touch or approach the patient until he himself approves of this;
- do not go on about the requirements, objectively assessing the boundaries of the possible and the outcome;
- try to determine how anger is unreasonable and senseless, whether it is a manifestation of the disease or justified by a reason that needs to be taken into account;
- realize the importance of experiences loved one and show a desire to support him;
- do not argue about meaningless ideas;
- help him decide what to do next;
- protect yourself and those around you from possible violence, because outbursts of anger cannot always be prevented or stopped.

If bouts of irritation and anger are frequent components of the behavior of a mentally ill person, and he regularly splashes out aggression, then wait until the next bout of rage passes, he will calm down and be able to control his emotions again. For this you need:

1. Behave at this moment strictly and coldly, do not irritate the patient, so as not to provoke even greater aggression.

2. Splash negative energy by using exercise, housework or just shout in a secluded place.

3. Take a break from the situation, watch TV, read a book, knit or count to yourself.
Give the mentally ill person the medicine prescribed by the doctor.

To reduce the likelihood of repeated bouts of anger, you must first understand that a mentally ill person is a common person with their own characteristics. Such people are characterized by such traits as self-doubt and low self-esteem. Therefore, be sure to consider what offends your loved one the most, and try not to repeat it again. Treat him with understanding, like any sick person, he needs sympathy and support.

A mentally ill person is disorganized both physiologically and spiritually. No need to scold him for this, try to communicate more optimistically, put kindness, warmth and respect into the conversation.

Remember that a person suffering from a mental disorder thinks either excessively slowly or quickly, thoughts are confused, feelings and contradictions are growing. So that in the end this does not result in anger and rage, communicate with him more often about problems and difficulties that have arisen. No need to have long conversations, speak slowly and clearly. Let the patient be alone, take a break from others. If the situation gets out of control, call immediately ambulance or the police.