Rituals before bed for a 3 month old baby. But what about the ritual before bedtime? Additional minutes of tenderness

Part twelve of Svetlana Bernard's book "100 simple ways put the baby to sleep."

We have already said that you will make it much easier for your baby to fall asleep if you make sure that his last hour before bedtime passes in a calm, familiar, loving environment. This is the time of transition from the active part of the day to the calm, from new experiences to familiar comfort, from noise and outdoor games to peace and quiet.

The introduction of the so-called falling asleep ritual- actions that are repeated daily in a certain sequence and develop a kind of conditioned reflex- set to sleep. The elements of such a ritual can be, for example, bathing, massage, swaddling, putting on pajamas, brushing your teeth, reading a fairy tale, your favorite lullaby, a doll or soft toy “going to bed” with the baby, etc. And, of course, the tenderness of parents and a favorite mother's voice, which will be remembered by the baby all his life!

It probably happened to you that some smell or taste suddenly evoked pictures from your childhood in your memory or some detail in clothes resembled a specific person. Similarly, in children accustomed to a certain evening ritual, a familiar tune or favorite toy in the crib will soon begin to be associated with sleep. And the closeness and love of parents at this time will fill the baby’s soul with confidence that he is desired and loved, and with this confidence it will be much easier for the baby to fall asleep alone.

For kids who are used to falling asleep only with the help of various kinds of aids (a bottle, motion sickness, etc.), the introduction of a falling asleep ritual will help to abandon them. The new ritual, as it were, will replace the old habit and facilitate the transition to the moment when the baby is alone in her crib.

Sleeping rituals are important for both infants and older children, so their content should be modified according to age and needs.

In the first year of a baby's life, the routine part of the ritual (preparation for sleep) is still closely intertwined with parental tenderness, affectionate words and touches. Bathing, swaddling or dressing the baby in the evening, you can stroke him, give him a massage, sing songs, talk about the past and the new day. Remember to do this every day in the same sequence so that the baby knows in advance what will happen next. Only in this case, these actions will become a ritual for the child and a signal to sleep. When laying the baby in the crib, it is necessary to say the same phrase that will become familiar to him, for example: “and now it’s time to sleep to gain strength for a new day” (or some other that will let the baby know that the time has come sleep). Pulling the curtains, turning off the light (turning on the children's night light) and a gentle kiss with the words: “Good night, son (daughter)! I love you very much!" - will be the final point of the ritual, after which you must leave the room. And act confidently, because, feeling insecure in your actions or your voice, the baby will definitely try to keep you offended by crying. (We will talk about what to do if the child cries in the section “If the child does not want to go to bed alone (Ferber's method)”).

To monitor whether the baby has fallen asleep, such an invention of technology as a baby monitor is very convenient. By turning it on, you can safely move around the house, and not stand on tiptoe under the door, listening to every rustle behind it.

For older children, the routine preparation for sleep can be reduced to the necessary minimum, but the cozy part with mom or dad in the children's room should be stretched a little. This is the time when the baby enjoys the undivided attention of his parents - half an hour, belonging to him alone. You can sit your child on your lap, read a book to him or just look at the pictures together, naming out loud what is shown on them. Or maybe you will sing to the baby or tell him a good story. Many people and adulthood remember mother's fairy tales and lullabies. Or you can quietly turn on the cassette and rock with the child, for example, in a rocking chair. If your baby is used to falling asleep with his favorite toy, you can involve him in the evening ritual. Let the bunny, bear or doll tell the child later that it's time to go to bed, and ask if he will allow them to sleep with him today. Let your imagination run wild in these moments. But remember that all your actions should become a habit for the baby and be repeated every day, even if it seems boring to you. Only in this case, cozy minutes before bedtime will be associated for the child with falling asleep.

When choosing an evening ritual, it is very important to determine its time frame in advance and warn the baby about them. If you do not do this, the child will not want to stop and will try to drag out the pleasant activity with all his might (“one more story, mom, please-a-a-luista ...!”). The easiest way is to draw the line right away and agree with the baby that you will read to him, for example, only one story or show him the clock in the room and say that you will read until this arrow reaches this number ... Even for a child who does not know the numbers it will seem clear and logical (according to at least, for my children it has always been an iron argument). Once you've set your boundaries, stay firm and don't break them even as an exception. Feeling a weakness, the child will try to use it to delay sleep. He will understand: it is enough to whine, and he will get what he wants. You will become impatient, the baby, feeling this, will begin to act up, and the whole ritual will no longer have the desired effect.

The final point of the ritual for older children is the same as for the little ones (drawn curtains, turned off the lights, a gentle kiss with affectionate words overnight). If you used a clock to determine the time frame, then now is the right time to point the child to them. For example, with the words: "Well, look - the little arrow has already reached the number" seven "", - you remove the books with toys and put the baby in the crib.

All the elements of the ritual given in this chapter are examples only. You can use them or come up with your own unique ones. After all, you know your child better than others - what he loves, what he needs, what calms him.

For example, bathing has a calming effect on most children, but there are those who are aroused by it. In addition, daily contact with water can irritate sensitive baby skin, and the most neutral baby shampoo, if used daily, may cause allergic reaction. Strong-smelling shampoos sometimes have a stimulating effect, but special soothing ones essential oils can help your baby fall asleep, unless, of course, he is allergic to them.

Kids love a gentle massage before bedtime. To do this, it is not necessary to go to special courses and learn certain techniques (although this can be useful). Careful, gentle strokes along the entire body of the baby, from head to toe, will surely please him. Rely on your parental intuition, watch the baby's reaction and - most importantly - put all your tenderness and love into the movement of your hands. You can also use special massage oil. But, as with shampoo, avoid strong-smelling products that can excite the baby, cause allergies or breathing problems.

After the massage, put your baby in pajamas. Putting on pajamas is perceived by most children as the first signal for sleep.

With the advent of the baby's first tooth, it is recommended to make brushing your teeth part of the ritual. Then the baby will literally grow up with this habit, and brushing his teeth will be a matter of course for him. While teething, the baby's gums are very sensitive, so you can use cotton swabs soaked in water to clean the first teeth. When there is a whole row of teeth, you can go to a special small brush.

Small children fall asleep better if the time before bedtime is spent in a quiet, cozy atmosphere with subdued lights. Try to speak and sing quietly. A cassette with a fairy tale or music should also not sound loud. If the child has to listen, he will make less noise and toss and turn in the crib.

It is better if the music is soothing, and the fairy tale is kind. Exciting stories can excite the baby, and evil characters can dream of him at night, disturbing his sleep. Many children quickly begin to nod off if a fairy tale is read to them in a monotonous voice. Others follow the course of events with interest and love expressive reading, with a voice that changes (depending on which character these words belong to). It happens that a kid likes a story so much that he asks to read (or tell) it every day. Thus, the child himself helps the parents to choose their evening ritual.

For older children, their own stories composed by their parents, reflecting, for example, the current situation in the family, have a great educational effect. So, in a naughty little mouse, the baby will be able to recognize himself, and in a caring mother-mouse, his mother. A fairy tale story will help the child look at himself from the outside and sometimes see the home situation in a completely new way. And the ability of kids to draw parallels is truly admirable!

Many babies love to fall asleep with their favorite toy, doll, or even a rolled-up diaper next to them, to which they can press their cheeks. At this moment, your favorite soft toy or doll, as it were, comes to life and becomes a faithful comrade, to whom you can tell your joys and sorrows, whom you can squeeze harder so as not to feel lonely. 9. If the baby is afraid of the dark, you can leave the night light on when leaving the room or stick special stars that glow in the dark on the ceiling of the child's room. One mother even came up with the custom of making special traps for fears with her child in the evening and placing them in front of the door to the children's room. Then not a single bad dream and no fairy tale characters would not dare to disturb a sleeping baby, would they?

But my boys were very fond of having their back scratched at night or doing a special game massage with rhymes. (Remember: “Rails, rails, sleepers, sleepers, the train is late.” For those who don’t remember, I included this game massage in the application). And this habit was preserved among the guys until the very transitional age!!! It was funny to hear in the evening how tired schoolchildren called me from their beds: “Mom, what about the massage?” Or: “Mom, when are you coming to make the rails?” At an age when boys were already embarrassed to openly show affection towards their mother, evening massage became for them the only acceptable expression of intimacy and tenderness, which they still needed so much ...

The kids also really like to talk or have a secret before going to bed with mom or dad.

The last minutes before bedtime is a wonderful chance to be with the child, also for dad, who has been at work all day. After all, the baby really needs daddy's affection and care. And the closeness of dad before bedtime will allow the baby to fall asleep in the calm confidence that dad is there, loves him and will protect him all night.

With an older child, you can talk about the past day, remember pleasant events and also tell him about plans for tomorrow. Children love it when what is happening around them is clear and predictable. Especially large ones important events in children's life (travels, meetings with other people, holidays, etc.) require the baby to prepare for them, tune in to them. And even if we are talking about ordinary events (for example, about going to the store with mom), the child will be calmer and better behave there if you prepare him for this in advance and discuss the rules of behavior (stay next to mom, do not scream, not grab anything without demand, etc.). You can also agree on what will happen if the baby does not follow these rules, just remember to fulfill the promise later, otherwise the child will stop taking your words seriously!

A kid who is already 3-4 years old and who has already learned to think can be said that all his friends (it would be good to list them by name) have already gone to bed or are sleeping. Explain that this is the time when all little children go to bed to gain strength for the new day. Remind him that at this time he goes to bed every day and will continue to go to bed. As the American psychologist and pediatrician Allan Fromm emphasizes in his book ABC for Parents, it is important that the child understands the need to go to bed, even if this is contrary to his desire. Understanding that in life you can’t do only what we like will be the first important step on the path to the spiritual maturity of a little man.

You can tell your child that when you were little, you also went to bed at this time, and now you will be nearby to come to the baby if he calls you. And on days when I was especially tired, I sometimes told my daughter that I was going to bed and asked her not to disturb me. Usually she calmed down understandingly in her bed and soon fell asleep peacefully.

Tell your child something good that he could think about as he falls asleep, and wish him Good night.

Agree with the baby that in the morning when he wakes up, he can come into your bedroom and wake you up. For many children, this perspective helps them fall asleep.

Sometimes I said to my daughter: “Now I’ll go clean the dishes in the kitchen (or wash in the bathroom, sew up a hole in my trousers, cook soup, finish writing a letter ...) and then I’ll come to you again to wish good night. These words calmed my daughter, and when I looked into her room again, she was already quietly snoring in her bed.

Older children like to fall asleep with the door to the nursery open or ajar (unless, of course, they are disturbed by the noise coming from other rooms). As soon as the baby is asleep, the door can be closed. An agreement with the child also works very well: the door remains open, provided that he lies quietly in his crib. Most children don't like being left behind. closed door, so they try to be quiet and fall asleep faster as a result.

Parents often ask if their kids can watch TV at night. Of course, one kind cartoon in the evening will not hurt, but only one and only kind. What is seen should not excite or frighten the child, which will prevent him restful sleep. And TV should not be a substitute for parental attention. An evening cartoon can only be the starting point of the ritual, after which the baby begins to get ready for bed. The child must spend the last minutes of the day with loved ones, in harmony and peace.

For older children, a quiet game alone in the children's room can become part of the ritual of falling asleep. We have already said that the older the baby becomes, the less sleep he needs and the later he falls asleep in the evening. But parents also need rest in the evening hours. Therefore, a ritual that combines the closeness of parents and the independent play of the child in his room can be a good compromise.

For example, you can help your baby get ready for bed (brush his teeth, put on pajamas, etc.) and agree with him that you will come to his room in half an hour or an hour. At this time, the child can (always sounds more attractive than “should”) stay in his room and play quietly. Usually babies agree to this condition with pleasure, if they are allowed to go to bed later. You can also show your child the clock and say that mom (or dad) will come to him when this hand reaches this number. As soon as the time is up, you must definitely keep the promise, otherwise the baby will stop believing in you.

If, as promised, he spent all the time playing calmly, then the second part of the ritual begins, in which the undivided attention of his parents belongs to the child. This is a time of intimacy and tenderness, reading and music, conversation and secrets. This is a time of happiness for you and for your baby. Maybe he will wait for these minutes all day. Try to forget about everything for a while and plunge into the world of children's joy and fantasy. After all, time passes very quickly. Before you have time to look back, your chick will fly away from the nest, and you will regret with pain in your heart that you could not spend more time with him when he was little...

TIP OF THE DAY

Even if you haven't had the opportunity to work with your baby all day, you can catch up during the evening ritual. Use these precious moments for intimacy and affection, conversations, secrets and quiet games. It is these happy moments that will remain in the memory of the child for life!

Current page: 6 (total book has 10 pages) [accessible reading excerpt: 7 pages]

Sleep associations

At the turn of four months, the way to fall asleep becomes more relevant than ever. The way of falling asleep is an association for falling asleep, that is, without which a person cannot fall asleep, and what he associates with going to sleep.

There is no right or wrong way to put a baby to bed. The process of falling asleep is a habit that parents form in a child. As Mark Weissbluth writes in his book, Healthy sleep– a happy child”, mom or dad can always consistently and persistently put the baby in the crib while still awake to give him the opportunity to fall asleep on his own, or always hold on your hands until you are completely asleep.

It is possible to introduce an association to falling asleep to a child from birth: put him to sleep in a familiar place and the same environment, with the same ritual and with the same associations that do not require the help of adults to fall asleep. All this becomes especially important during the regression period of four months. Do not be discouraged if the baby suddenly fails to fall asleep on its own from the first or even the tenth time. This is normal: the child does not owe anything to anyone. The main thing is to keep in mind the thought: in what conditions the baby fell asleep, he will want the same conditions when he wakes up. Therefore, try to persistently and consistently introduce sleep associations that will help the child move from one sleep cycle to another without help: without feeding, without motion sickness, without a pacifier if you need to look for it and give it to the child every hour and a half.

The main mistake of parents is that during the regression, and just in the first months of the baby's life, they try to put the child to bed in any way: by feeding, rocking, carrying in their arms. Sometimes this is justified, for example if the child is sick or you are so tired that you cannot act consistently and persistently. But the child's crisis is over, the stage of increased anxiety and nervousness is left behind, and the parents continue to act according to their usual pattern, and they don't even notice it. And often they do not know that their bedding algorithm is the cause of frequent nighttime awakenings. At first, such a way of falling asleep, such as, for example, motion sickness or carrying in the arms, becomes habitual for the child, then, if it is used every day, it becomes common and, as a result, the only possible way, when the baby really cannot fall asleep in another way.

When a child wakes up at night very often and requires motion sickness or feeding before falling asleep, he does not manipulate parents. There is no point in getting angry and angry at the baby, because it only aggravates the situation. Unfortunately, for a child now this is the only possible way falling asleep, and it was the parents who formed such a habit, which means that the parents should change it. The habit is fixed, and the family gets stuck in motion sickness or hourly feeding for many months, the mother brings herself to physical and emotional exhaustion and does not understand how she ended up in the abyss of lack of sleep, fatigue and irritation.

So, it is necessary to calm the child by any available means, but not before falling asleep. If the baby calms down from motion sickness, you can rock him, but not before falling asleep. If feeding and nipple help, fine, but not before falling asleep. The child must be awake in the crib. It is necessary to relax him to a state in which he really wants to sleep, but is still aware of himself, and then persistently and consistently put the half-asleep baby in the crib so that he falls asleep on his own. In this case, there is no need to leave the room if you sleep here. Your presence calms him, and if, upon waking up, he sees you sleeping next to him, nothing will change for him: he fell asleep and woke up in same conditions. He will not scream and cry, because the situation has not changed. This system is also relevant during a period of increased nervousness, colic or regression of four months. We cannot avoid the difficulties of growing up, but we must do our best not to introduce sleep associations that require our participation and will make life difficult for us in the future.

If the association to fall asleep with the help of parents has already been established, it can and should be changed. How to do this gently and gradually, we will talk in one of the following chapters.

Awakenings from overexcitement

The second common reason for frequent nighttime awakenings is overexcitation.

In children under three years of age, the processes of excitation in nervous system significantly prevail over the processes of inhibition, so babies easily start up. If the child is not put to bed on time, his nervous system begins to work with overstrain. When a certain resource allocated for wakefulness ends, and the child is not yet sleeping, he draws energy from reserves, gets tired and overexcited. It is much more difficult for a tired, agitated and irritated baby to fall asleep. Even if the child managed to be put to bed, the excitement does not allow him to fully sleep. baby sleeps more superficial sleep wakes up more often and gets up earlier than usual in the morning.

Often they try to put the child to sleep immediately after active games, without giving time to calm down. The optimal bedtime has already been missed, the baby is overexcited, the carousel in the nervous system is spinning. What to do?

First of all, it is necessary to organize the daily regimen, taking into account the time of wakefulness for a certain age, to prevent overindulgence and overexcitation, and to start preparing for sleep in advance.

Wake time is the time between sleeps from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep. that is, it is the interval between when the child opens his eyes and closes them. The time of preparation for sleep and the process of falling asleep are also included in the period of wakefulness. AT different books and different sites provide tables of waking hours for each age with different indicators from each other. I offer you my summary table with the approximate time of wakefulness for each age.

Table 4. Time of wakefulness (WB)

This data is a benchmark, the surest way to find out how long your child is awake, timing the time from waking up to the first signs of fatigue.

signs of fatigue

Signs of fatigue, or signs of drowsiness, are individual in children. One baby is sad, his gaze becomes detached, the other yawns and rubs his eyes, the third pulls his ears. My daughter, when she wants to sleep, raises her hands and starts tousling her hair. To understand how your baby shows sleepiness, you need to observe him and look for his individual first signs of fatigue. When a child is naughty, cries, whimpers - these are not the first, and the last signs of fatigue. In this case, you will have to act very quickly, because in just ten minutes a tantrum from fatigue can occur, and it will be very difficult for the child to fall asleep.

So, your child's wake time is the time from waking up to the first signs of fatigue, plus a maximum of 10-15 minutes. It should be borne in mind that as the child grows, signs of fatigue may change. And when the baby grows up a little, he may begin to hide his true state, because it is too interesting around. When it is difficult to recognize signs of a child's tiredness, sleep and wake charts are needed as a guide to start looking closely at the child before the end of the "official" wake time.

By the way, the time of wakefulness can be much shorter than the standard (the baby got sick or tired faster) and change during the day. For example, the time of the first wakefulness - from awakening to the first daytime sleep - is often shorter than subsequent ones. Also, the child will get tired faster and want to sleep earlier if for some reason his sleep before that was less than an hour. In this case, you need to tune in to the fact that the baby will need to be put to bed earlier than you would do after a full day's sleep.

Wake time is the battery life. The battery runs out faster if we actively use it. The child’s “battery” will run out faster if he had a busy day full of impressions and emotions: we went shopping together, guests came to you, you went on vacation ... The charge will end earlier than usual if the baby is sick or worries age crisis. Whatever happens, there is only one global rule: look at the child, not at the clock, tabular norms are just a guideline.

Window to sleep

So, as soon as the baby shows signs of fatigue: yawns, rubs his eyes, pulls his ears or gets sad, he must immediately start laying, because even 15 minutes of delay can be critical, especially if the wakeful period is short, one and a half to two hours. With age, the time from the appearance of signs of fatigue to overexcitation will lengthen. The so-called window to sleep will also increase - this is the time when it is easiest to fall asleep, this is the gap between the appearance of signs of fatigue and overexcitation. The kid actively walked, tired, yawns, but has not yet become overexcited. This period of time is the window to sleep - auspicious time to put the baby to sleep. The duration of the window to sleep is individual. For some children, this "correct fatigue" lasts only 5 minutes: yawned - and did not have time. For others, the window to sleep is 10-15 minutes, for others it is half an hour. With age, the window to sleep will become larger.

False signs of fatigue

Many parents ask: what to do if the baby yawns already 20-30 minutes after waking up; does it need to be installed? If it's not a newborn, then of course not! If a child yawns half an hour after sleep, this does not mean that he is ready to sleep. It is very important not to confuse signs of fatigue and boredom! When we read a very boring book (hopefully not this one) or watch a boring movie, we also begin to yawn, although we do not want to sleep at all. Once, a mother said with sadness about her baby: “He is bored with me ...” Do not make such hasty conclusions! The kid is not bored with you! He was tired of some kind of activity, or maybe the occupation was not chosen according to his age. Switch it to something else and watch the baby.

If the yawning stopped immediately, and the end of wakefulness is still far enough away, then everything is in order, the baby just got bored. If the child continues to yawn when changing activities, this may be a sign of accumulated sleep deprivation. In this case, we try to “sleep off” the baby, prolonging daytime sleep. We reduce the load, “saving the battery”, and increase the wakefulness time very gradually by 10-15 minutes, bringing it to the lower limit age norm. This is necessary because too a short time wakefulness can lead to a subsequent short sleep, because the child has not worked up. And after a short sleep, the child will again want to sleep earlier. So the circle can close.

So, now we know that we need to put the child to bed on time, without waiting for overexcitation, because overexcitation is one of the most common causes of frequent nighttime awakenings.

A common mistake many parents make is that they consider crying, whims or tantrums to be signs of fatigue, but these are signs of overwork.

To improve your baby's sleep, first of all, learn to see his individual first signs of fatigue.

Observe the child for several days and write down your observations in the table.

Fill out this table for 3-5 days, and you will understand how much your baby can stay awake, how he shows that he wants to sleep. Your task is to learn how to "catch a window into a dream."

Preparation for sleep

Now that you know how to recognize the signs of fatigue, you need to prepare for bed so that bedtime is as quick and pleasant as possible.

Very often, the child falls asleep for a long time, so it is not possible to put him to bed by the allotted time. Suppose we know optimal time wakefulness of our child and the moment when it is time for him to sleep. But how do you make it go faster?

So that the process of laying does not stretch for an indefinite time, it is necessary to prepare the baby and his room for bed. After active games, the child needs to calm down, for this, switch him to calm games.

The scheme of the wakefulness period looks something like this:

- active wakefulness;

- calm wakefulness;

- bedtime ritual

- falling asleep.

Immediately after sleep, we must fill the baby's leisure time with active activities: gymnastics, massages, swimming, games with rattles and sound effects. When 30–40 minutes remain before the end of wakefulness, we begin to prepare for sleep: we change active games to calm ones, ventilate the room, spread the bed, change the diaper, feed ... If the child already has signs of fatigue, and we will spend another 20–30 minutes preparing , then we will miss a favorable moment for falling asleep. The baby will close the window to sleep, and there will be overexcitation.

How to prepare a room for sleep? The room should not be too hot or too cold, the ideal temperature for sleeping is 19-23 degrees, humidity is 45-55 percent. It makes sense to use humidifiers, especially in winter, because the air becomes dry due to heating. During the day, dim the lighting by closing the curtains. It is not necessary to achieve complete darkness, it is enough to darken the room to make it easier for the baby to fall asleep.

Before going to bed, preparation begins at least an hour before bedtime. During this time, it is necessary to change active games to calm ones, bathe the child (if bathing amuses and walks around the baby, it is better to spend it earlier, during active wakefulness), feed, change clothes, and do this before the first signs of fatigue. As soon as the child begins to signal to us that he is tired, we move on to the ritual.

Ritual before bed

A ritual is 10-15 minutes before going to bed, filled with actions in a certain sequence. If during quiet wakefulness there were calming activities in any sequence, then in the ritual it is important that the same actions are repeated day after day one after another. Thanks to this, the child will quickly get used to the fact that after his mother put on his pajamas, read a book, sang a certain song, nothing more than sleep will happen. The ritual marks sleep, sets the baby up for it and makes the transition from wakefulness to rest gradual.

Ritual Criteria

- Done right before bed.

- It takes 10-15 minutes in time.

- It calms, that is, we do not include the competition "Who will crawl under the bed faster" in the ritual.

- Marks sleep, i.e. you always do these actions before going to bed in the same sequence.

- Saturates with attention, that is, the parent who conducts the ritual does not do it casually, but is fully involved in the process.

- The ritual and laying down are carried out by the same person.

Examples of rituals

There are many types of rituals. There are no right or wrong. The most important thing is that these activities meet the criteria, are carried out every day and, of course, both the child and you like it.

Now your task is to think and write your rituals for daytime and nighttime sleep. You can choose actions from the list or include something of your own. It is also important that the ritual has a clear beginning and end, for example, at the beginning you turn on the night light, and at the end you turn it off.

Your nap ritual

Your sleep ritual

Write down your actions in the ritual. Perform this ritual before every daytime and nighttime sleep. Rituals for daytime and nighttime sleep may differ slightly. The main thing is that everyone who puts the child to bed should do the same actions before going to bed.

Nutrition and sleep

What else affects nighttime awakenings? Many believe that a child, especially an infant, wakes up at night due to hunger. Regarding night hunger and feeding, there are different opinions. Some experts believe that a child under six months old has every right to eat several times a night, because the volume of his stomach is not large enough. In addition, if the child is breastfed (and breast milk digested fairly quickly, much faster than formulas), he may wake up every two to three hours to eat. Other experts, such as Gina Ford, are sure that the baby should wake up no more than twice a night by month old, and by six months, night feedings should stop completely. Most of Russian pediatricians says that night feedings up to six months are really necessary, and after six months the volume of the child's stomach is such that he may not eat for quite a long time.

I believe that if a child eats well during the day and is gaining weight, then nighttime feedings should in any case be less frequent than daytime ones. If everything happens the other way around, then there may be vicious circle. The baby wakes up quite often at night, and parents offer him breasts or formula to put him to sleep. The kid eats up during the night and eats little during the day, and when he tries to reduce night feedings, he strongly protests, because he is really hungry. Accordingly, in order to establish a night's sleep, it is necessary to build a feeding regimen. The most important rule: the child should eat more during the day than at night, and in any case, daytime feedings should occur more often than nighttime ones.

Night terrors and nightmares

What else can cause a child to wake up at night? Of course, from night fears and nightmares. They appear in children most often after 1.5–2 years, and these are two completely different phenomena. Nightmare- this is a terrible dream from which the baby woke up crying. As a rule, nightmares happen in the second half of the night, closer to the morning. The main criterion for a nightmare is that upon awakening the child realizes that he has woken up, and, waking up, sometimes even talks about his dream. After such an awakening, the baby can be calmed and put back to sleep. Most importantly, he responds to sedation. Everyone has nightmares sometimes, it's normal. The situation needs to be analyzed and action taken if they are haunted too often or the nightmare is recurring.

A completely different picture with night fears. Most often, night terrors occur in the first half of the night. The child can jump up, while his eyes are open, and his gaze is empty and unconscious. He screams and cries, but does not respond to your calming actions. The phenomenon of night fears is that the baby is sleeping at this moment. If you look at his electroencephalogram, it will show that he is in deep sleep: his brain is asleep, but his body is awake. How to help the baby at this moment?

First of all, make sure he is safe, because he is out of control. As a rule, an attack of night fear does not last too long, it is more terrible to watch than to be in it, because the baby is sleeping and is not aware of himself, he is not afraid. If the attack does not stop within a few minutes, the child can be picked up, taken to another room, preferably a cooler one, washed cool water, help move out deep stage sleep to a more superficial one. When he wakes up, you can calm him down and put him back to sleep.

It is very important in the morning not to focus on what happened. How will you feel if they suddenly start telling you that you jumped up at night, ran around the room with bulging eyes and behaved strangely? You will be at least embarrassed by what happened. The same thing happens with a child. If a two year old to tell what happened to him at night, he will be afraid to fall asleep, expecting a repetition of the situation. Do not focus the child's attention on the incident, just analyze the emotional components of the day and make the situation more calm.

Often, children have scary, frightening dreams after watching aggressive cartoons, movies or news stories that the baby should not have seen. scary dreams can provoke a dysfunctional, tense situation in the family at the current moment. The less emotional, exciting factors and frightening events during the day, the less scary cartoons, programs or films a child sees, the more peacefully he sleeps.

Cozy bed for baby

Parents ask a lot of questions not only about how to sleep, but also where to sleep. Organization method bed is common cause disputes between supporters different approaches. Where, in general, can a child sleep, what to choose from? The baby can sleep in his own crib in a separate room or in the parents' room. His bed can stand close to the bed of his parents. The side can be raised or lowered. In the second case, the bed resembles a trailer and is a continuation of the adults' sleeping place. Finally, the child can sleep in the same bed as the parents.

Renowned American pediatrician Dr. Sire and co-sleeping specialist Dr. McKenna state that co-sleeping good for the child, it reduces the risk sudden death baby in bed, fastens emotional connection between him and his parents and improves the quality of sleep for both the child and the parents.

Another opinion is shared by Gina Ford and Dr. Weissbluth. They believe that the child should have his own sleeping place, sleeping in the same bed is unsafe, sleep becomes more disturbing for the child and parents, incorrect associations with sleep are formed, and, in general, the baby should sleep separately.

I think the best approach is the one that works best for your family. There is no clear right or the wrong way sleeping arrangements. The most important thing is that it is comfortable for everyone and that everyone sleeps well. Each way of organizing a bed has pros and cons.

Sleeping in the same bed is a great option if it is chosen consciously and suits the parents. But often, judging by the experience of people seeking advice on establishing baby sleep, joint sleep is rather a choice without a choice, a forced measure. When parents are unable to get up, take their baby in their arms, feed or rock them ten times a night, it is easier for them to take the baby to their bed. If everyone is happy with it, then there is no problem. And in co-sleeping with its safe organization, you can see only pluses.

If this is a forced measure, what problems do parents most often talk about? Firstly, about crowding and lack of space, which is why dad often moves to sleep in another room. Secondly, the mother is afraid to move, roll over, because the child immediately wakes up from this, her body becomes numb, she gets up broken and tired. Thirdly, the child and mother can wake each other up with their movements, sleep becomes more disturbing. Fourthly, many mothers are afraid that the child will roll off the bed, even if there is some sort of side, so they sleep anxiously and superficially.

What are the disadvantages of having a baby sleep in a separate bed? If the baby needs to be fed at night, then you will have to get up to him, pick him up, feed him, put him back, when he is shifted, he may wake up. If there are many such episodes, the whole family does not get enough sleep.

Up to six months, it is recommended to sleep with the baby in the same room, this significantly reduces the risk of sudden death of newborns. Transferring a son or daughter to a separate room, in my opinion, makes sense only when the baby and the whole family are really ready for this. In our country, it is customary to “resettle” children after two to two and a half years, but in different families it can be different.

In my opinion, the perfect way the organization of a bed for babies who are still sleeping in the room with their parents is a bed with a trailer: the side rail is removed from the crib, and the crib is pushed close to the parents' bed. This type of bed is also called co-sleeping. Professor James McKenna, an expert on co-sleeping, writes that co-sleeping is not just about sleeping in a family bed. Co-sleeping is also considered such an organization of a bed in which you can reach the child with your hand. If a crib with or without a side rail is pushed close to your bed, then this is also co-sleeping.

"Bed with a trailer" - the side rail on the crib is removed, the crib is moved close to the adult bed.

How convenient is this way of organizing a bed? First of all, everyone has their own space. In addition, the child gets used to the fact that the crib is his place to sleep. She becomes his association for falling asleep, he has the ability to spin, spin and do not interfere with anyone. Parents, being in their bed, can roll over from side to side, move and not be afraid to wake the baby. They are calm that the child will not fall out, because there are bumpers on one side of it, and mom or dad on the other. If the baby is fed at night, the mother can move, feed him and move away, she does not need to get up. If something alarmed the baby at night, it is enough to put a hand on the child and calm him down.

The method is almost perfect, I don’t see any cons, the main thing is to make such a joint sleep safe. The crib, if it does not have a side, should stand close to the parents' bed and be well fixed. Under no circumstances should she move away. You can attach the crib to the wall, attach it with special clamps to the bed of adults or prop it up. It is necessary to ensure that there are no cracks and gaps between the children's mattress and adult bed. If there is a gap, it must be laid well, well, so that the child does not fall into it at night or get stuck in any part of the body.

I lined this gap with a soft side of the crib. These bumpers are located inside the crib and close its solid walls from the baby. Since one wall was removed, a free side remained. I folded it in half lengthwise and laid a gap between the children's and adult mattresses. Then I fixed this roller with strings, tied it to the crib so that it would not stray, fall down and jump up.

With this method of organizing a bed, if the child is alone in the room for some time, I also recommend getting a video baby monitor to watch the baby. While the baby still does not know how to get off the bed on its own, but at the same time it is already crawling well, it is imperative to monitor what is happening on the bed, because the baby can, upon waking up, crawl from its bed to an adult, crawl to the edge and fall off. So what have you already done:

1. Set goals and work on motivation.

2. Analyzed your sleep situation.

3. Find out the duration of your child's wakefulness and learn to recognize his first signs of fatigue.

4. They came up with and introduced a ritual before going to bed.

5. Analyzed the melatonin production chain.

6. Identified associations for falling asleep, without which the baby cannot fall asleep.

Great! you spent great job! But we still have a lot of work ahead of us!

A happy kid is playing and laughing out loud - a joyful picture. And if the time is late and soon go to bed? Experienced parents know what such fun threatens - a downed regime, hysteria, long bedtime. Unfortunately, in many families this pattern is repeated all the time. There is a way out: it is necessary to develop a ritual for sleeping a child.

Why do you need bedtime rituals for children?

The main “problem” of babies is that they cannot calm down themselves, the process of excitation prevails over inhibition. That is why children who play out in the evening throw a tantrum and cannot fall asleep normally.

The task of parents is to create a habit of restful sleep. A special ritual of going to bed for a child will help to form it. Of course, you will have to discipline yourself first of all. It will be necessary to get used to the regime and clearly follow it for a long time. But the result is worth it - a calm, healthy and balanced child and parents who have "their" evening time.

bedtime rituals for kids

First of all, set the optimal time for laying down for a night's sleep. Pediatricians recommend an interval from 20.30 to 21.30.

Bedtime ritual for a child up to a year

Calm environment.

Before going to bed, stop any noisy games. The atmosphere in the house should be quiet and peaceful - a working TV and loud music definitely should be rejected.

Bathing.

Evening bathing promotes relaxation and a good night's sleep. This procedure should be carried out daily, at the same time. It is better to bathe the baby together, for example, dad prepares a bath, and mom undresses the baby.

hygiene procedures.

A bathed baby must be dried with a soft towel. So that the baby does not freeze, it is wrapped in another fresh and dry towel and not yet dressed to give the little body a little rest from the diaper and clothes. The air temperature in the baby's room after bathing should be at least 22 ° C.

Then it is recommended to gently clean the small ears and nose with special cotton buds, and all the folds on the body, especially in inguinal region, lubricate with baby oil or sprinkle with powder. If the umbilical wound has not yet healed, be sure to treat the navel, see how to treat the navel.

Such daily hygiene procedures serve as a good prevention of diaper rash in infants and help keep the ears and nose of the little one clean.

Evening feeding.

Before feeding, we dress the baby in clothes for sleep. It is already better to turn off the overhead light, leaving only a nightlight. In the early days, the baby may be nervous or look around excitedly, then we calmly return him to eating, gently stroking his back.

The most crucial moment comes, the rule of three "T": quiet, dark and warm. Some babies fall asleep almost immediately after bathing and feeding. If this does not happen yet, the baby is rocked in her arms, singing a lullaby or turning on calm quiet music for the children. Over time, he will get used to and understand that a set of certain actions ends with sleep.

Bedtime ritual for children over one year old

After a year, the ritual of laying the baby changes. While the baby is on the chest or artificial feeding, feeding remain. Gradually, evening feeding after bathing is replaced by dinner before water procedures. It is important not to destroy the developed habit, but to gradually change it as the child grows up, leaving one thing unchanged - a certain sequence of simple actions that help the child quickly and calmly go into a sound and healthy sleep.

Ultimately, the bedtime ritual for older children looks something like this:

dinner;
a fairy tale or a short calm cartoon;
massage or just stroking the back;
bathing or showering;
clean pajamas;
Cup warm milk or regular boiled water for the night;
mom's kiss, lullaby or fairy tale.

But what about the ritual before bedtime?

Up to a year children usually have two or even three naps. The baby will fall asleep faster if a certain ritual is also preceded by daytime sleep:

creation of a "sleepy atmosphere": the absence of loud sounds, a children's room curtained from direct sunlight;
breastfeeding or bottle feeding with formula before bed;
putting to bed with a lullaby or soothing music for babies.

After a year. Independent children older than a year old are very inquisitive and do not sit still, and therefore may react negatively to attempts to put them to bed. The napping ritual for babies who are already 1 year old usually consists of the following:

come from a walk, change into home clothes;
eat;
wash;
go potty;
wear sleepwear;
take your favorite toy;
reading a calm bedtime story, instead of a fairy tale, you can sing a lullaby;
if the child asks, you can give warm milk, water or juice.

The room for daytime sleep should be well ventilated and necessarily darkened. If the baby fell asleep late or does not wake up after 5 pm, then it is better to gently wake him up, otherwise there will be a problem with nightly bedtime.

Rules for a good bedtime ritual

In an effort to comply with the regime and develop certain rituals, do not forget about the features of your baby. Some children do not like to swim, while others are completely against massage. Going to bed should be positive and joyful, let the baby fall asleep with a smile.

Be sure to ventilate the room before going to bed.
Avoid watching cartoons for too long, ideally no more than 15-20 minutes.
Choose calm cartoons and fairy tales.
Do not scold or punish the baby if he cannot sleep.

Every parent wants the best for their children. Help them form a useful and good habit. After all, the correct mode of sleep and wakefulness is the key good health and good health.

The experts of the site "I am a Parent" have already shared, as well as tips,. This time we will take a closer look at a variety of bedtime rituals for babies of different ages.

Many people know that the ritual before bed makes it easier to lay down. However, it is not always clear which activities to choose depending on the age of the child. After all, bathing, which fits well into the ritual in the first months of a child's life, as they grow older, ceases to relax the baby. Reading a book is a choice for older children, and even then not always, some kids do not like to be read to. In this material, I am a Parent will talk about how you can create an individual bedtime ritual that both the baby and parents will love.

All rituals before going to bed must be completed. That is, after the final point, there should no longer be games and active actions. Satisfy all the needs of the baby in advance, and after the completion of the ritual, do not go to communication. Otherwise, the ritual will not fulfill its purpose. main function- sleep marking.

Be persistent and consistent, and then in a few days the child will accept these rules, and he will go to bed with pleasure after your joint actions.

Bedtime Rituals for Babies 0-4 Months

It is worth starting to accustom the baby to the evening ritual from birth, so that subsequently the child does not experience difficulty falling asleep or, even more so, does not disturb him.

Start the ritual with a bath

The evening ritual for the baby should be started almost immediately after the last daytime sleep, so that the child does not have time to overdo it and get excited. A calm, relaxing bath is good. If you practice active swimming and diving, then such training is best done during the day, and in the evening, shortly before a night's sleep, either completely refuse to swim, or spend it in a calm environment and try not to "play out" and not overload the child.

Feed your baby in a darkened room

After swimming, it's time to refresh. It doesn't matter what type of feeding you choose. Feeding before bedtime is best done in a darkened room, with low, not exceeding 50 decibels, white noise or calm familiar music. You can sing a song or tell a poem about a dream. Often at this age, babies fall asleep on their chest or with a bottle. If possible, try to put an awake child in the crib, then he will gradually form the skill self-falling asleep. But for now, it’s not worth insisting: it turned out - great, fell asleep on the chest or with a bottle - also good.

Comment on the child's preparation for sleep

The child before a night's sleep is calmed by the monotonous repetition by the mother of what is happening and will happen. You can indicate your actions in a calm, quiet voice: “Now I will put on pajamas for you, then you will eat and you will sleep sweetly. Here you are already in your pajamas, now you will eat and fall asleep soundly.

Follow the sequence of actions

It is important to remember the sequence of actions. It should always be the same: night after night, in the same order, wipe the baby after bathing, put on a diaper, pajamas, swaddle, feed. You can choose the actions that suit your situation, but it is very important to follow the sequence chosen once.

If you repeat such actions every evening and try to relax yourself during the ritual, then the baby will be more willing to fall asleep and sleep better at night.

Bedtime Rituals for Babies 4-10 Months of Age

At about four months of age, babies change their sleep patterns. And often, even well-sleeping babies begin to wake up more often and have difficulty falling asleep.

Start skipping feeding and bathing as part of the ritual

Feeding and bathing can and should be taken out of the ritual. Water procedures can have the opposite effect on a growing baby. In addition, while bathing, it is very easy to miss signs of fatigue, and it will be difficult for the baby to fall asleep later due to overwork. If you absolutely want to leave traditional bathing as part of your evening routine, then separate it from the bedtime ritual by feeding outside the bedroom. And after dinner, go to the bedroom. It's still good to use quiet white noise or your usual soothing music.

Introduce additional actions to the ritual that accompany going to bed

At the age of four to ten months, you can and should enter additional actions with the participation of a child: close the curtains together and turn off the big light, look in the mirror and say “good night” to your reflection, start looking at picture books where everyone sleeps. As before, a mother's song or a poem about sleep will be a wonderful part of the ritual.

Choose a sleep toy

A projector with starry sky or changing pictures and quiet music. The toy will help the child stay calm in the crib, and after a while it will turn itself off.

Bedtime rituals for children aged 10 months - 1.5 years

At this age, the child can and wants to take part in the ritual more and more actively.

Start reading "sleepy" books to your child

For many children, right now is the time for musical "sleepy" books, where all the animals and babies go to bed. So far, the text is not important to the child, but the pictures are something that can interest and set in a calm mood. But do not worry if the baby has not yet shown interest in books.

Talk to your child before bed

An equally good component of the ritual will be the communication of a mother or any caring close adult with a child. You can carry the baby in your arms, talk about how the day went.

It is at this age that the child is most likely to gladly accept his own sleep mate. Choose or buy the safest, no small and hard parts, soft toy, introduce the baby to her, tell her that now this friend will guard the baby’s sleep and he himself needs the baby to put him down. It is important that the toy lives in the crib and does not participate in everyday games.

Bedtime rituals for children ages 1.5 and up

From the age of one and a half, children are already ready for long rituals and reading before bed.

Start reading fairy tales to your child

The complexity and duration of fairy tales can be increased gradually. And in the beginning, it's good if these are still stories about sleep. Now there is a fairly large selection of books specifically for the evening ritual.

It is very important to designate the duration of reading in advance. For example, it could be two stories or 15 minutes. It is important to warn the baby about this and not change your mind. However, you can go for a little trick: initially offer only one story or five minutes of reading, and when the child asks for more, then agree to another fairy tale or another five minutes. You will know that the reading will take longer, but by agreeing you will help the child to feel its importance and that his wishes are taken into account.

Choose calm games that your baby will enjoy

If your baby doesn't want to read, you can suggest other quiet activities before bed. It is undesirable that these be cartoons and action. Here are some good options: putting together a simple puzzle, putting toys to bed, talking about the past day and planning for the next, one or two parties of calm card game like a lotto.

You can come up with some unique ritual. Try writing fairy tales about toys with your baby, or hiding some object under the pillow in advance and asking the child to guess what it is, and then write a story about this object. Approach the creation of the ritual creatively, and the child will definitely appreciate it!

A necessary component of any ritual is the relaxed state of the parents. Try not to rush and spend this time with maximum attention to the baby. Make sure that the chosen activities bring pleasure to you. So, if mom does not like to sing, then it is better to do without lullabies. After all, the ritual before going to bed is what you have to do every night for several years.

About what to do if the child is afraid to sleep alone, says the expert of the site "I am a Parent" child psychologist Nikolay Lukin:

What's in mom? Find out on the website "I am a Parent"!

Margarita Levchenko

We put the child to sleep.

Sleep rituals

For you, a night's sleep is a long-awaited opportunity to take a break from daytime worries. And you know for sure that after the night, alas, the morning will come, and it will come much earlier than you would like. For a child, it's a little different. Each parting for the night is a symbol of the loss of the mother, and in order for the child to learn to calmly accept this parting, it is necessary to make certain preparations for it.

Any household rituals are important for children much more than for adults.
It may seem to us that mother's sweet habit of telling the baby a fairy tale every night does not oblige her to anything. For the child's psyche, rituals acquire, speaking in the language of psychological terms, supporting and stabilizing functions. With the help of them, the little one is guided in time, in them he draws confidence that everything in the house is going on as usual, and the loyalty of the parents to the child’s home habits is nothing more than an everyday expression of love for the baby.

The meaning of rituals and household traditions lies precisely in the fact that events follow one after another in a once established sequence: day after day, month after month, in the fact that they are observed no matter what.
Confidence in this brings a sense of stability to a child's life, relieves anxiety and comforts in moments of grief. quivering and Attentive attitude it is especially important for evening rituals if the baby is sick, upset or offended.
The seriousness and respect with which adults relate to the habits of the child, created by them, contributes to the development of a sense of self-worth in the little one. The kid learns to respect his words and promises, to be consistent, to keep his word. Bedtime rituals are a very wise and multifaceted thing, and they are especially good when the child is reluctant to let you go in the evenings. If you lovingly repeat the same actions from evening to evening (sing a song, read a fairy tale, make up a story, leaving - kiss and say "good night") - you thereby confirm that the course of things is unchanged.

If there is always swimming at dinner, and after bathing - laying down with all the usual rituals, this is a guarantee for the baby that the morning will certainly come, and it will also be similar to the previous one. And from this, in turn, it goes without saying that mom is not going anywhere, and she can be safely let go to sleep.

Night awakenings and nightmares

It happens that the baby wakes up in the middle of the night with strong crying. He sobs or screams as if he were very frightened. When you run to him, he sits in bed and points somewhere with his hand. You hardly manage to calm him down, and you can’t ask him. He doesn't give any coherent answers, just cries and then immediately falls asleep. This is a nightmare.

At the classical age of childhood fears (3-5 years), a nightmare is quite commonplace. If such episodes occur no more than once every one or two months, and if there are no signs of general neuroticism in the daytime behavior of the child ( increased anxiety, tearfulness, self-doubt, daytime fears of various content), then you should not worry too much. Night terrors should pass around the same time as normal age fears, that is (at the latest) - by the age of five.

If your baby woke up from a nightmare, just walk up to him, take him in your arms and calm him down. Children in this state do not understand very well what you are saying to them, so just say something quietly and gently and rock the child. Most likely, he will fall asleep right in your arms, and it will be possible to put him back in the crib. It is believed that the appearance of nightmares can provoke hot or stuffy air in the room. Check it out - isn't it? In any case, it is more beneficial for a child to sleep under a warmer blanket, and in a cooler room, than vice versa.

Difficulties before laying

The reluctance to let go of the parents before bed, which is successfully solved with the help of bedtime rituals, is not at all the same as a real tantrum. Evening tantrums before going to bed are a difficult test for parents. No fairy tales and songs help here. You have already told 20 tales and sung 33 songs, but the child seems to care about only one thing: to make sure that you do not leave. He starts screaming as soon as he sees that you are making a movement towards the door. And - immediately blooms with a smile of happiness when you return back. Familiar? I'm assuming your baby is about two years old. At this age, children are actively engaged in damage to parental nerves, which is scientifically called "checking the boundaries of what is permitted."

If a baby after a year is busy with such primitive entertainments as running away from mothers and grandmothers, spilling and scattering food and scattering toys (that is, it manipulates mainly things), then a two-year-old, often referred to as “terrible”, gropes for more complex ways to have fun - manipulates parents.

Manipulative tantrums are extremely important to distinguish in time from more serious childhood problems. If the baby rarely sees his mother, and he lacks her attention (he goes to a nursery or a five-day week), if he has recently experienced stress (for example, he was alone in the hospital), if those adults who spend maximum time with him are too tough or the child is experiencing some other stress that is unknown to us (an authoritarian situation at home or in the garden), then his desire to keep his mother near him by any means is quite understandable.
It is quite simple to distinguish such an acute need for a mother, provoked by psychological distress, from simple manipulation. When the baby cries and calls for his mother, he suffers seriously, and he looks desperate, moreover, he does not calm down at all immediately after she returned, but still continues to sob for some time. In addition, he must also show other signs of neuroticism, which have already been mentioned.
In this case, close attention should be paid to the problem: to figure out where the stress comes from, and most importantly, to give the child more of yourself so that this stress quickly leaves without a trace.

If the little one screams and cries exactly until that second, until the mother returned to give him another half an hour from her sleep, and after that she immediately bursts into happy and slightly flirtatious laughter, it means that she is simply glad that she tricked you again. In this case, it can be argued that you are dealing with the most common childish manipulation. The child is trying his power on you. He seems to have got a thread in his hands and pulls on it. And when mom, like an obedient puppet, obeys him, it's fun. Also, this way he gets additional opportunity having fun before bed - much more fun pulling mom's strings than sleeping alone in your boring crib, right?

In such a situation, we can talk not so much about difficulties with sleep, but about excessive mother's compliance. Having finished reading (having finished singing, having told and kissed), wish the child good night and leave. When you hear a scream, come back in a few minutes, say goodnight again and leave again. If you have the courage to “not break loose” at the next fairy tale for at least a few days, the little one will understand: “good night” means that singing, reading and other joys of the day are over, and the time of Morpheus has come.

Night terrors

Around the age of three, children often develop a fear of the dark. Even after the usual evening partings, the child cries, asks to leave the door open, or complains that "a monster is sitting in the corner." If you carefully ask the baby what he is afraid of, he will most likely describe a picture of a physical threat: “A wolf came and bit my heels.” In three-year-olds, the frightening image of a wolf is most common. It symbolizes aggression, danger, pain and childhood insecurity from all this.

The age of three years is a classic period of childhood fears, and in "small doses" such behavior is quite normal. Child, all this time tirelessly comprehending the world, was engaged in learning to predict it. There is breakfast in the morning and dinner in the evening; it usually rains from the sky, and the juice is from the bag, dad has a low voice, mom has a high one; At the same time, the baby accumulates knowledge that there are many dangers in the world, and the list of possible troubles in the child’s head is quite long: fire, height, cars, deep water, and so on. He comes to a discovery: there are things that cannot be predicted. For example, darkness can hide objects, and fantasy helpfully offers the child all the images in turn from the list of dangers known to him. And the wolf is a collective image of the bad, and darkness is the most common environment for the emergence of age-related fears.
Working through and assimilating all this information takes time, and for a three-year-old, quantity turns into quality gradually: he already knows quite a lot about what happens, but he does not always know how to calm himself down, thinking about it.
Fear in this sense is nothing but "psychological slag", by-product knowledge of the world. The growing child gradually copes with this waste, finding a place for all phenomena in his mind. If your baby has just entered the age of childhood fears, be more tolerant of the evening whims of the child: lengthen the bedtime ritual, leave the night light on.

Nighttime co-sleeping: pros and cons

Sleeping with your baby is a good opportunity to minimize almost all of the above problems with children falling asleep. Of course, what kind of parting for the night can we talk about, if there is no parting? Mom is here, she is always there, and there is no need to delay her with all sorts of tricks, right? True, but not really. Any panacea is always a bit of a trap, and the same can be said about co-sleeping.

Its supporters argue that the mother-child natural energy connection should never be interrupted artificially. That's why you need to put the child to sleep next to you - no nightly fears, no anxiety before falling asleep, no nightly awakenings with a scream. Because mom is always there.

Theses are true, but only partly. Perhaps co-sleeping is really good when your child is less than a year and a half. It is likely that you are still feeding him, and then proximity to the child saves you from nightly walking around the house back and forth. infants sleeping with mothers, indeed, behave more calmly at night, and in such a situation it is much easier for a mother to maintain prolonged breastfeeding.

The situation changes somewhat if the baby is already more than two. Yes, co-sleeping relieves parents of all the horrors of children's evening manipulation. But what older child, the better he realizes all the charms of the parental bed, the less willingly he agrees to leave it.

There are times when parents of five-year-old children regret the day and hour that they missed and did not transfer the child to their bed for a night's sleep in time. Sometimes it is much easier to tell an extra bedtime story or sing an extra song than to sleep in the same bed with a child for three more years.

In conclusion, it must be said that, of course, children sleeping with their parents are not immune from age-related fears or nightmares, since these phenomena are the age norm.

Daytime sleep: to sleep or not to sleep?

Compared to nighttime cataclysms, daytime sleep is just a small ridiculous problem, it would seem, and not worth any worries. However, there are hard-line parents and conniving Democrats here, too.

Using the example of daytime sleep, your baby plays in miniature all the same scenarios that you observe in the evening. He can not let go of his mother both seriously and manipulatively: because of stress or by training to pull her strings. Children's fears during daytime sleep, as a rule, do not manifest themselves at all, since darkness is needed for the “blooming” of age-related fears. If the child is tormented by fears and during daily packing, in this case, for starters, it’s still worth showing the baby to a neurologist.

There is only one significant difference between daytime and nighttime sleep: daytime sleep is shorter, and unlike nighttime, during the day a child (if he tries) may not fall asleep at all. Child boycotts like this can be very exhausting for parents. It’s a pity for the kid: after all, without daytime sleep, he is completely exhausted by five o’clock in the evening, and indeed, the whole second half without rest the day is coming"across". It is easy to understand for moms: there are a lot of things that can only be done when the baby is sleeping, so he needs to sleep twice! But he doesn't want to sleep. What to do?

You have two options: keep trying to put him to bed, or accept that your baby has outgrown his daytime nap. Some children “grow out” of it as early as 9 months, and, unfortunately, nothing can be done about it. Such babies make up for the lack of rest due to night sleep - they sleep for twelve hours or more, and if you don’t get up in the kindergarten at seven in the morning, then perhaps this will even suit you.

If you follow the traditional path and decide to keep your baby's daytime sleep at all costs, a simple restructuring of the regimen will help here. There are few rules and they are all simple.

The earlier the little one gets up in the morning, the more likely he is to fall asleep during the day. The walk must certainly be, and it must be as long and active as possible. As practice shows, a good appetite after a walk, it forms by itself, and then - to bed, and without delay. The room where the baby sleeps should be well ventilated and should not be hot. If your child is a young manipulator, do not delay daily rituals laying, as well as laying itself: this can give the child an excuse to fool you further.

Reassure yourself that you will pay off all the ritual "debts" in the evening, and in the afternoon - just put the child to bed and leave. The moment of going to daytime sleep should not occur later than thirteen hours, otherwise the baby will begin to get overexcited, as a result of which sleep can be completely disrupted.