Unrequited love or "Amelie's Syndrome. Love for Lieutenant. How is Adélie syndrome treated?

Story

The life story of the heroine, whose name was given to the disease, is very sad. Adele Hugo, the daughter of the famous French writer, suffered from unrequited love for the English officer Albert Pinson. Contemporaries characterized Adele as an intelligent and talented person who could have a brilliant future, because she inherited not only her surname from her father, but also her literary talent. Unfortunately, she spent all her strength on the pursuit of her lover. As part of his service, Pinson was transferred to Canada, then to India, and Adele, who was in love, followed him everywhere. Although it was no longer love, but an all-consuming obsession.

Adele never married, she had no family, she ended her life in a mental hospital at the age of 85. But it seems that in reality the life of poor Adele ended even earlier, when she was about thirty and she went to distant Canada, pursuing Pinson. She wrote letters to Albert, calling herself his wife. Through her actions, Adele upset his engagement to the priest's daughter. In the end, having spent all the money, she led a beggarly existence on the island of Borneo, where Pinson served, until she was found and returned to France.

Symptoms

Adélie's syndrome is different from ordinary unrequited love. When a person not only experiences a strong emotional attachment to his chosen one, but feelings begin to control his whole life, this is already a reason to sound the alarm. If the state is started, then it is no longer possible to exit it on your own.

The victims of Adélie's syndrome are mostly women. Age, appearance or social status don't matter. It is a mistake to assume that only unattractive women get hung up on unrequited feelings. Often the victim of this syndrome falls in love with someone who is obviously not a couple for her and with whom it will be impossible to build a relationship in the future. Psychologists say that subconsciously unhappy lovers do not want real relationships that can quickly destroy their illusion.

A victim of the Adele syndrome is easy to identify by the crazy things she does in the name of non-existent love. But while everything is just beginning, Adele's syndrome is well disguised as ordinary feelings. First prominent symptom mental disorder- all thoughts revolve only around the beloved. A person can neither think nor talk about anything else but the object of desire. As a result, friends gradually disappear from his life, and the lack of communication, in turn, only aggravates the condition.

Those suffering from Adélie's syndrome often change their mood from severe depressive to euphoric joyful. Sleep problems begin, appetite is lost. The victim is so consumed by the feeling that he is unable to do housework, unable to cope with official duties. She completely cuts herself off from the outside world, and at the same time, everything related to her beloved becomes extremely important. Even insignificant little things like postcards, random photographs are carefully stored and protected as a symbol of love.

Treatment

Adele's syndrome is a love addiction, and it affects a person in the same way as alcohol, nicotine or drugs and leads to the same deplorable consequences. But if a person shows enough willpower and desire, he will be able to save himself and his loved ones from suffering on their own.

So, since the main cause of all troubles is the obsession with one person, you should be distracted from it, no matter how difficult it may be. B. Shaw was convinced that we suffer because we have enough time to speculate about how bad we are. Therefore, you should organize your life in such a way that there is as little free time as possible. Find yourself a hobby, start learning something new, like languages, take a horse riding course. The main thing is that your occupation is completely new for you and requires full dedication.

To get rid of intrusive thoughts, drive away memories. Urgently get rid of everything that was associated with the object of desire: letters, messages on the phone, photographs, postcards. Try to avoid places you've been together. Often, an unrequited loved one seems to be an ideal, without any flaws, but this is not at all the case. Try to remember his shortcomings, this is probably the only case when it is useful to remember all the insults and quarrels. Finally, try to be selfish, and think about how beneficial your relationship was, and who really benefited from their breakup.

Adélie syndrome is a painful mental illness that is an unrequited love addiction similar to a drug. it obsessive state due to the fanatical attachment of the patient to the object of adoration. The disease is often confused with the blues caused by unrequited love feelings. Patients refuse food and their usual way of life, write love letters and pursue their chosen one. Love obsession gradually develops into insanity, and the beloved becomes an idol for worship.

Modern medicine recognizes the Adélie syndrome mental pathology, health threatening sick. A few years ago, the syndrome was officially isolated in separate nosology, which is the same addiction as gambling, alcoholism, nicotine addiction. An irresistible love attraction and passion for a member of the opposite sex always remains an unrequited feeling.

Love obsession syndrome rightly wears woman's name, because it develops more often in women, which is due to their special impressionability and more subtle sensitivity. This syndrome mainly affects the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity 25-45 years old. Their age, social and external data do not matter.

Adélie's syndrome can also occur in men who experienced a shortage in childhood. maternal love. AT adulthood they are trying to win that woman who does not reciprocate. Moreover, such men often choose a woman who is absolutely inaccessible to them.

The syndrome has its causes, clinical manifestations and methods of treatment. Not every specialist can distinguish normal love from pathological obsession. The syndrome can be eliminated only on initial stages when the first ones appear Clinical signs.

Disease history

Adele Hugo

First victim this syndrome became the daughter of the famous writer from France Victor Hugo - a rich beauty, one of the desired brides of Paris, Adele. Clinical signs of pathology appeared after meeting an officer, with whom the girl immediately fell in love and began to consider her man. She was obsessed with him: she pursued the young man, stole money to pay off his debts and told everyone about the imminent marriage. Unrequited love haunted the beautiful and intelligent Adele all her life, bringing severe suffering and mental anguish.

Lieutenant Pinson was not distinguished by an ordinary appearance, special talents, prowess and strength. He was flattered by the location of such a prominent girl. At first, he even showed a special interest in her. But sincerely fall in love with her boyfriend could not and rejected. Passionate platonic love remained unrequited. But this did not stop Adele Hugo. She lived in a world of dreams and illusions, did not notice his contempt and was willing to endure all the "antics of her husband."

After Pinson started a family, Adele did not stop chasing him. The girl assured everyone around that she and Pinson were happily married. Over time, she herself believed in this and began to gradually go crazy. Adele met her old age in a lunatic asylum. She remembered her lover every day and regularly sent him letters of confession. Before her death, Adele repeated his name.

Save the unfortunate from progression mental illness and her father could have died. But he did not see a problem in this love and did not attach much importance to the events taking place.

This famous case with his daughter Hugo and determined the name of this pathology - "Adele Hugo's syndrome".

The reasons

The prerequisites for the development of Adélie's syndrome are laid in childhood. Only the help of parents will help to overcome it and prevent the occurrence of mental disorder.

Reasons for the development of pathology:

1. Adélie syndrome develops in people deprived of love in childhood. Often this is a response to the behavior of a strict and reserved mother. Men choose companions who look like their mother, and girls, on the contrary, look like their father. Such relationships are obviously doomed to fail.
2. Hereditary predisposition and tendency to mental illness is another cause of pathology.
3. Insecure people create an ideal person in their imagination, find a suitable candidate and idolize the chosen one until the end of their days.
4. Persons who have suffered the tragic loss of a loved one are looking outwardly similar person and cling to it with a stranglehold, even if the relationship is unpromising.

Symptoms

Clinical signs of Adélie's syndrome in women and men:

• Persecution of a man without his will,
• Indifference to everything that happens around, except for your love,
• Illogical and reckless actions
• Lack of interest in others
• Obsession with the beloved
• Martyrdom and self-destruction
• Loss of appetite,
• Poor sleep or lack thereof
• Sloppiness and untidiness,
• Self-sacrifice
• Giving up your favorite hobby
• Suicidal thoughts, blackmail
• Fetishism,
• Belief in illusion and self-deception, and not in the facts of objective reality,
• Frequent mood swings from depression to euphoria
• Constant thoughts and talk about the object of your love,
• A radical change in lifestyle
• Keeping all social contact to a minimum
• Ignoring the routine
• Frequent lonely walks
• Inability to concentrate
• Concentration of thoughts on a loved one,
• Extraordinary actions and non-standard actions,
• Rejection of sexual life
• Poor performance of duties.

As Adélie's syndrome develops, the clinical signs become more and more pronounced. Patients fill their lives with a strong, but unrequited feeling. They idolize the object of their passion and do not want to understand that there is no chance for reciprocity. Most patients do not realize that they are sick and do not recognize the problem, even if they have severe symptoms. Feelings overwhelm patients and begin to control their lives. If you do not sound the alarm and are not treated, it will simply become impossible to get out of this state on your own.

Diagnosing Adélie's syndrome is very difficult. Do it quickly and correctly qualified specialist in the field of psychiatry. The patients themselves cannot think adequately and do not realize that they have become a victim of such a sad love. Only an experienced psychotherapist can determine the line where true love ends and love begins. mental illness. In the absence of timely and adequate treatment Adélie's syndrome leads to gradual degradation of personality. Patients first withdraw into themselves, and then completely detach themselves from reality and the world around them. It is important not to miss the first signs of pathology. The progression of the disease can turn the lives of patients and their families into hell.

Treatment

Efficiency medical measures with Adélie's syndrome, it directly depends on the period during which a person is sick. The sooner you start treatment, the more likely you are to completely get rid of the addiction.

In the initial stages of pathology, patients are able to cope with the disease on their own. To begin with, a training should be held, during which patients should answer a few questions and talk about their hobbies, mood, and appearance. Truly in love people have a special appearance. They bloom, dress beautifully, their eyes "burn". Individuals with Adélie syndrome look like very sick people.

In order to get rid of this disease experts recommend:

1. Drive away the memories
2. Throw away things that remind you of addiction,
3. Avoid meeting with your lover and places of joint pastime,
4. Learn about the shortcomings of the object of desire,
5. Remember all quarrels and insults,
6. Take up a new hobby
7. Communicate more often with family and friends
8. Forbid yourself to think and talk about your love,
9. Load yourself with mental or physical work,
10. Break up with mutual friends
11. change jobs,
12. Move to another city,
13. Treat your feelings like a disease that needs treatment.

To eliminate painful attachment, patients simply need to be distracted: find something to their liking, start pet, keep a diary, solve crossword puzzles or puzzles. Drawing with sand or breeding exotic fish are activities that will help you switch your attention away from your lover. It is necessary to fill your life with all sorts of events so that there is no time left for emotional experiences and extraneous thoughts. If you do not follow these recommendations, another breakdown will occur. At the same time, the chances of ending their days in a psychiatric clinic will increase significantly.

Self-treatment does not always give positive result. In such cases, they resort to the help of a psychotherapist who will help to quickly get rid of the syndrome. Conservative treatment is to prescribe antidepressants, special diet, psychotherapy.

To get rid of obsession and addiction, you need to seek help in time and admit that the problem really exists.

Video: psychologist about Adele syndrome

Fifth child

Adele Hugo was born on July 27, 1830 in Paris, in the family of the famous writer Victor Hugo - yes, the same author of the books "Notre Dame Cathedral" and "Les Misérables".

Adele was the fifth child in the family, the youngest of two daughters, and the only one who outlived her illustrious father. But mental condition Adele was weakened and, starting in 1872, she long years spent in a psychiatric clinic.

Adele was very beautiful woman and a gifted pianist. Two circumstances seriously affected her mental state: the death of her older sister and a passionate, but unrequited love for an English officer. In 1843, riding on a yacht, her 19-year-old died. elder sister Leopoldina.

In 1852, Adele followed her father into exile on the island of Guernsey, but there she fell victim to depression and had to return to France in 1858 for medical treatment.

In 1861, while traveling in England, Adele met Lieutenant Pinson and fell madly in love with him.

Love for Lieutenant

Having an excellent education, having an attractive appearance and outstanding musical talent, Adele Hugo was not deprived of male attention. However, the girl invariably refused all applicants for her hand and heart. Everything changed after Lieutenant Pinson appeared in her life.

As soon as she met him, Adele realized that Pinson was the man of her life, and decided that she must certainly marry him. However, the young Englishman was in no hurry to tie the knot. And soon he completely began to avoid the writer's daughter, who was desperately in love with him.

But obsessed with passion, Adele did not back down. She pursued her lover all over the world, going after him, then to England, then to Malta, then to Canada ...

Once in the city where Pinson's regiment was stationed, Adele rented a hotel room and spent her days waiting in vain for her beloved. She wrote endless letters to him, paid off his gambling debts, and even hired prostitutes for Lovelace Pinson herself, since she was not jealous of him only for ladies of easy virtue.

Adele assured her parents, acquaintances and everyone around that she and Pinson were legal spouses. In fact, the wedding took place only in her confused imagination.

But Pinson soon got married, and even became a father. But Adele was by no means his chosen one.

Pretty tired of the persecution of Hugo's daughter, the lieutenant repeatedly tried to convince the unfortunate woman not to have unrealistic hopes, asked her to leave him alone and leave for France. But it was all in vain: every day Adele guarded him at the barracks. When an officer appeared, she directed her gaze and then silently followed him all the way to the house.

Crazy beggar woman

Adele returned to France in 1872, and her father had to commit her to a psychiatric hospital in San Mande. When the prodigal daughter appeared before her father, Victor Hugo barely recognized his Adele in the crazy, emaciated beggar. Her, completely lost her mind, some kind person brought to France from the island of Barbados ...

Adele Hugo never recovered. After the death of Victor Hugo, Adele was transferred to a hospital in Suresnes, where she lived until her death in 1915. She ended her life in a lunatic asylum at the age of 85, having departed to another world with the name of Albert on her lips. After her death, there were countless unsent letters that she wrote to her beloved all her life.

The story of her tragic love for an English lieutenant formed the basis of the plot of the film by Francois Truffaut "The Story of Adele G." with Isabelle Adjani as main character. And psychiatrists immortalized her name, assigning it to the syndrome of love insanity ...

Symptoms and treatment of Adélie's syndrome

Several years ago, attempts were made in the United States to organize therapy for women suffering from Adélie's syndrome. Why just for the fair sex? Although this terrible disease it can hit men as well, it’s still easier with them. Firstly, as it turned out, they are much less likely to "fall" on one chosen one. And secondly, even the advanced public reacts to the annoying courtship of men much more calmly - after all, stronger sex this is supposed to be, so to speak, according to order, even if the lady of the heart does not reciprocate.

Symptoms

Before a disease can be treated, correct diagnosis. Where lies the line between love and the Adélie syndrome? Psychiatrists lead the following symptoms love madness:

1. restless sleep, the subject of passion dreams at least twice a week.

2. The victim of the syndrome does not respond to phone calls and letters. Late in paying bills. Difficulty performing duties.

3. All thoughts and conversations are only about Him.

4. Depression ("He does not love me!") Is replaced by euphoria ("Is it possible not to return such love ?!").

5. A kind of fetishism: everything is carefully collected, even the most insignificant gizmos associated with the chosen one - postcards, photographs, even tram tickets of joint trips.

6. The object of passion is never given the opportunity to come up first, start a conversation, call. Adele is always the active side.

7. Finally, the victim of the syndrome never takes into account his appearance, because he is firmly convinced: great love is higher than such trifles!

However, it would be a mistake to think that Adele's syndrome affects only ugly girls. It is believed that Marilyn Monroe, having fallen madly in love with Robert Kennedy, was ready to ring out to the whole world about their relationship if he refused to meet with her.

"Like Treat Like"

American psychologist Stanton Peel believes that crazy love has the same symptoms as drug addiction. Behind it painful feeling hiding self-doubt, low self-esteem, a tendency to martyrdom and self-destruction.

Here are some tips that American women's magazines give to their readers who have discovered the first signs of the syndrome:

1. Do not leave a single minute of free time for dreaming about your beloved. Jogging, aerobics or yoga classes, security are suitable here. environment, learning the language of the Swahili tribe, at worst.

2. Avoid places and people that evoke memories of him. Common acquaintances - on the side! No favorite cafes where you spent time, cinemas, squares and alleys! No music, no songs you listened to together!

3. Against your will, remember only the worst about him. And then you will understand that this type is not worth your suffering.

4. Divide a sheet of paper with a vertical line. On one side of it, write what exactly you won thanks to your novel, on the other - what you lost (or will lose) in the event of a breakup. This bookkeeping will help make sure that the debit and credit are almost equal.

5. If all methods have been tried, but nothing works, fall into a new frenzy!

That is, as a result, experts come to the fundamental advice of the ancients: "Treat like like", and the best medicine from love - new love.

Adele Hugo was the youngest daughter of the famous writer, and also a very beautiful woman and a gifted pianist. The rich beauty, one of the most desirable brides in Paris, had no end to the gentlemen who vied with each other to offer her a hand and a heart. But Adele was at ease, cheerful and ... indifferent to the fans until she liked a young man named Albert Pinson.

From the first glance at the unknown English officer, Adele Hugo decided that she had met her fate. She did not know anything about his character or his habits (among which there were many pernicious ones), but with all her exaltation she devoted her life to the chosen man: she left her house, moved to those cities and countries where the conscripted Pinson was transferred, looked for any reasons see him as often as possible.

To understand how much Adele was in love, it is worth paying attention to the fact that when Pinson was transferred to serve in Halifax (Canada), Adele secretly followed him from her parents, and to pay for the trip, she stole jewelry from her own mother.

Adele Hugo

During three years, which Adele spent in Halifax, she told others that there was an engagement between them, and that the groom's family was against their relationship. She claimed to have given birth to a stillborn child by Pinson, and finally, in a letter to her brother François-Victor, she wrote that she had married Albert. Despite some doubts, Adele's relatives published a message about the wedding in a newspaper published on the island of Guernsey. Later, Adele confessed to her brother that the wedding did not take place, but continued to hope that the marriage would take place, for which she hired a hypnotist to help persuade Albert to marry her.

Adele Hugo did not stop that Albert did not reciprocate her feelings. She did not notice his contempt and neglect. The woman lived in her own invented world, where she was mentally the wife of an officer, paid his gambling debts and considered it her duty to endure "the antics of her husband."

When the officer decided to marry the daughter of a local judge, Adele wrote a letter to the judge, in which she stated that she was Albert's wife. The engagement was eventually called off.

In 1866, Pinson was transferred to the West Indies on the island of Barbados, Adele went after him. Little is known about her later life on the islands, but her mental state worsened. Adele insisted on being called "Madame Pinson". Observers described her as "sad, in disheveled clothes that were not well suited to the tropical climate." She was constantly writing something down, wandering the streets. The boys threw stones at her, so she preferred to go out into dark time days.

In 1872, Adele was brought to France. It was a sad return - with the exception of the father, all the other members of the family had already died. Adele's mind finally clouded and she spent the rest of her life in a psychiatric hospital. Her father visited her periodically, until his death in 1885. Adele died in 1915, she already spoke with difficulty, but traces of her former beauty remained on her face.

The story of Adele's unrequited love became known to the public, and the term "Adele's syndrome" became widespread in literary circles, which describes cases of passionate unrequited platonic love. Psychiatrists who have studied this precedent are confident that if more attention had been paid to the woman's illness from the very beginning, her sanity could have been saved.

The story of this unrequited tragic love formed the basis of the plot of the film by Francois Truffaut "The Story of Adele G." And psychiatrists immortalized her name, assigning it to the syndrome of love insanity ...

There is an interesting term in psychology Adélie's syndrome". It is revealed in those who are pathologically in love with a certain object and, as a rule, this love is unrequited.

A bit of history about the name
The history goes back to the time of the writer V. Hugo. This syndrome is named after his daughter. Adele was in love with an officer. She followed him around the world, where he was sent on duty. At the age of 85, Adele died in a mental hospital, she had neither a family nor normal life. Adele wrote letters to officer Pinson, in which she called herself his wife.

Also, the unfortunate went to India and Canada for the object of desire, and this is far from her homeland, France. Thus she dragged after Pinzon until she had spent all her money. Then she was found, poor and hungry, barely able to return to her homeland.

The classic symptoms of Adélie syndrome are:

1) a state when a person is not just emotionally attached to his beloved, but feelings already control the patient. It is impossible to get out of this state on your own; supervision by specialists is already necessary. A woman constantly thinks about how to restore relations with her husband or even start a relationship with a person whom she has only seen a couple of times.
The victims of the syndrome are only women. Age, social status and other characteristics are not taken into account. Only the female sex is affected by the syndrome.

Experts say that the victims of the syndrome do not want real relationships that can destroy their illusion of an ideal loved one and castles in the air, so they deliberately choose an inaccessible object.
The actions performed by the sick are terribly illogical and even insane. Until the syndrome has manifested itself in full, everything is harmless enough;

2) a state when thoughts revolve around a beloved object. The person talks only about him, not wanting to listen to anything. Friends cannot stand this, and the woman is left alone with her thoughts;

3) present drastic changes moods. From euphoria to severe depression in a few minutes, this is a reason to see a doctor. Lost appetite, trouble sleeping. Official duties and housework are not performed sufficiently;

4) finally comes the renunciation of the outside world. Only the beloved person and everything connected with him remains important. A woman keeps any little things that belonged to the object of unrequited love.

Treatment
Adélie syndrome how addiction affects a lady in the same way as nicotine addiction, or alcohol addiction and leads to dire consequences.
The main thing you need to know: you need to distract a person from cycling. It is necessary to organize his life so that there is a minimum of free time. A new hobby, study, will help drive away memories. foreign language, dancing, hobby group. It is necessary to get rid of things associated with the object of adoration, to avoid places where they have been together.

It will help to remember the shortcomings of a loved one, you can even make a list of them. Write down the grievances and quarrels that happened between you. Think about how disadvantageous these relationships were for you personally, who actually won.

I know a woman who has Adele syndrome. This story has been going on for almost 20 years. True, she did not turn to anyone for help.