Where do fears, phobias and panic attacks come from? Build an alternate airfield. Fear for no reason is a sign of intelligence

Psychologists believe that fear is not some kind of muck that is built into us, but a useful adaptive mechanism that helps us survive. How does he help? He warns us of danger. This is if we use it correctly. And if we do not know how to use it, then the same fear becomes painful and brings us trouble.

It follows from this that several important points:

1. Everyone has fears all the time. We either notice them or we don't.

2. Sometimes people think that they are not afraid of anything. That's what they say: "I'm not afraid of anything." Psychologists ... how to put it mildly ... agree with them halfway: "You think that you are not afraid of anything. This comes from the fact that you are used to not noticing your fears, and not from the fact that they are not."

3. It is impossible to get rid of fear. We need him, he is important part our psyche. He has the most important task: to warn of danger. Healthy fear is essential.

4. Often clients are asked to "get rid of fear." For a psychologist, such a question sounds something like "my hand is bothering me, let's remove it." Therefore, the answer for the psychologist is completely obvious, and for the client it is quite unexpected: "You don't need to get rid of it, your problem is precisely that you are trying to get rid of it, but you can learn how to use it, let's tell you how."

5. To make ourselves feel good, we do not need to get rid of fear. Our task is to learn how to use it. Treat him as an adviser, not as an enemy. And then it becomes portable. Too bad they don't teach this in school.

Psychologists divide fears into rational- useful, albeit unpleasant and irrational useless and painful.

Rational fear always has a concrete and absolutely real danger. It can be a threat to life, health, social status or financial well-being. The key is that the threat is real.

For example, when we stand on a balcony, we don't lean over the railing or hang down because we're afraid of falling and breaking ourselves. A very real threat to someone hanging outside.

Rational fear is our ally, which signals to us how far we can bend over the railing.

With irrational fear, the threat is far-fetched or non-existent. But the feeling of fear is there and the feeling is quite real. It happens that such a person is called a simulator. This is because people do not understand how you can feel fear when there is no real threat. Therefore, I repeat: there is no threat, the threat is unreal, but there is fear, quite real intense fear. This includes all phobias, panic attacks and etc.

For example, when a person is afraid to go out onto the balcony because he is afraid of heights, or during a panic attack, a person is afraid to die for no reason, and any other phobia also applies here.

Irrational fear does not help us in any way. It signals a danger that does not exist. Such fear is a false alarm.

Usually, with irrational fear in the head, a person understands that there is no danger, but fear does not go away from such an understanding.

And then the question arises: where, then, do irrational fears come from?

Irrational fear is taken from rational. How does this happen?

1. At the first stage, a person feels the usual rational fear, but suppresses it, for example, like this:

I won’t think about it, I’d rather eat a candy;
I have to be strong and manage;
I'm not afraid of it, I just don't want to think about it;
And in other ways he explains to himself that there is (as if) no fear.

2. Suppressed fear goes into the unconscious. That is, fear as a feeling remains, but the understanding of why fear is lost, because a person diligently tries to forget this fear.

3. The unconscious searches for the existing fear and comes up with a false reason to be afraid. Irrational fear is ready.

Here, perhaps, it is necessary to give examples:

Example 1

Woman, 34, fear of poisonous spiders. He understands that poisonous spiders are not found in our region. However, this does not make the fear go away.Lives with mom. Mom completely controls her life, from what she wears to relationships with men.

The real fears are obvious: this is the fear of mom and the fear of independence. In other words, she lacks the courage to live her own way, not listening to her mother.The unconscious logic is this: I’d rather be afraid of poisonous spiders, because we don’t have them and being afraid of them is not as scary as being afraid of my mother, formidable and omnipotent, who is nearby and can punish.

Symbolically, these fears are connected: "Mom, like a spider, has woven a web around me and I can't get out."

Example 2

Male, 25 years old, fear of heights. The fear is so strong that he is afraid to even stand on a stool.During the consultation, we found out that it is difficult for him to make contact with people, that he is terribly afraid of disapproval, a low rating, "what people will think."

The real fear is the fear of error, evaluation. In other words, the fear of not being up to par.Unconscious logic: I'd rather be afraid of heights, it's not as scary as being afraid of judgment.

Symbolic connection: afraid of falling = afraid of falling in the eyes of others.

Example 3

Boy, 5 years old. Suddenly, fears began to completely different topics especially new things or people and nightmares.

During a conversation with my parents, they found out that my grandmother had died a few weeks ago. The child is not told about this, because "they protect the psyche." The child was not present at the funeral, although he knew his grandmother and communicated with her quite often. That is, for the child, the grandmother simply disappeared. Her parents don't support talking about her.

Real fear: something terrible has happened that parents hide, something that makes mom cry, but that you can’t even talk about.

Unconscious logic: I don’t know what exactly happened and what I need to be afraid of, so just in case I will be afraid of everything, especially everything new, suddenly it’s dangerous.

That is, irrational fear is superficial symptom, and its cause always lies a little deeper. Behind every irrational fear there is necessarily a real fear, a rational one, and a real danger corresponding to this, but the person no longer remembers this.

In therapy, we go in the opposite direction:

1. The therapist helps the person realize that their fear is irrational. That the threat he imagined for himself was unrealistic. Usually the client himself is aware of this.

2. We find out what real fear is behind the irrational one. To do this, you need to remember it, to understand what the client is really afraid of. This stage is difficult to pass without a psychologist:

First, psychic defenses prevent the awareness of real fear,
secondly, it may turn out that this is a story of such an early childhood that no memory has been preserved of him, and then the help of a specially trained person will be needed.

4. We work with real fear, and therefore with real danger. What can be done to get rid of the danger? What measures to take? How to protect yourself? What can be done to make fear bearable?

In example 1.

2 fears - 2 signals:

independent life (without a mother) is full of dangers;
If you disobey your mother, you will be punished.

In therapy, the client learned to be independent. I learned to listen first of all to myself and build my life in my own way, even if my mother is unhappy. She realized that at 34 she was already independent and it was already impossible to punish her. Once she was able to resist her mother's pressure, her fear of spiders went away (as if) by itself.

In example 2.

The danger that fear warns about is "be on top, otherwise you will be thought badly and treated badly."

The client learned to prioritize his own evaluation of himself, to endure the dissatisfaction of others, while maintaining himself in good condition. I learned to calmly admit my mistakes and shortcomings, without going into self-flagellation. Learned to endure different attitude of people. When he was able to feel good and worthy regardless of specific achievements, the fear of heights disappeared (as if) on its own.

In example 3.

The child was told about the death of his grandmother and about death in general. What is death, when does it happen and what does it mean. They explained what they do with the body after death. They were taken to the cemetery - the nightmares passed on the same day. The child asked many questions on this topic for two or three weeks. Parents patiently explained. Of course, these are not the most pleasant conversations with a five-year-old child, but the parents were strongly supported by the fact that the symptoms instantly disappeared.

All of these stories share the same patterns:

1. If you run away from fear, get distracted and forget, it intensifies.

2. If you managed to escape from fear, then congratulations, we deceived ourselves, and he comes in a new guise, in the form irrational fear. And then he still forces us to meet him.

3. Fear goes away if you take action regarding the danger. That is, to understand what the danger is that fear warns us about, and how to deal with this danger.

As a result, we have two ways: avoid fear and take it as an ally, consult with it. That's what he needs. The first path leads to nowhere. The second makes fear bearable, and makes us mature and stronger.

To take fear as an ally, to consult with it, for me means asking myself a few questions and finding an answer to them:

What is my fear warning me about, what danger?
What can I do about this danger? What measures to take? How can I protect myself?

The difficulty is that if there is fear, then the person does not yet have an answer to these questions. And finding them is not an easy task, but it is creative and interesting.

It becomes painful and brings us trouble. Therefore a few important points:

Everyone has fears all the time. Only we either notice them or we don't. Sometimes people think that they are not afraid of anything. That's what they say: "I'm not afraid of anything." Psychologists ... how to put it mildly ... agree with them halfway: “You think that you are not afraid of anything. This comes from the fact that you are used to not noticing your fears, and not from the fact that they are not there.

Fear is impossible to get rid of. We need it, it is an important part of our psyche. He has the most important task: to warn of danger. Healthy fear is essential. Often clients ask for "fear removal". For a psychologist, such a question sounds something like “my hand is bothering me, let’s remove it.” Therefore, the answer for the psychologist is completely obvious, and for the client it is quite unexpected: “You don’t need to get rid of it, your problem is precisely that you are trying to get rid of it, but you can learn how to use it, let’s tell you how.”

To make ourselves feel good, we do not need to get rid of fear. Our task is to learn how to use it. Treat him as an adviser, not as an enemy. And then it becomes portable. Too bad they don't teach this in school.

Psychologists divide fears into rational (useful, albeit unpleasant) and irrational (useless and painful).

At rational fear there is always a specific and absolutely real danger. It can be a threat to life, health, social status or financial well-being. The key is that the threat is real.

For example, when we stand on a balcony, we don't lean over the railing or hang down because we're afraid of falling and breaking ourselves. A very real threat to someone hanging outside.

Rational fear is our ally, which signals to us how far we can bend over the railing.

At irrational fear the threat is contrived or it does not exist at all. But the feeling of fear is there and the feeling is quite real. It happens that such a person is called a simulator. This is because people do not understand how it is possible to feel fear when there is no real threat. Therefore, I repeat: there is no threat, the threat is unreal, but there is fear, a very real strong fear. This includes all phobias, panic attacks, etc.

Irrational fear does not help us in any way. It signals a danger that does not exist. Such fear is a false alarm.

Usually, with irrational fear in the head, a person understands that there is no danger, but fear does not go away from such an understanding.

And then the question arises: Where, then, do irrational fears come from? Irrational fear is taken from rational. How does this happen?

1. At the first stage, a person feels the usual rational fear, but suppresses it, for example, like this:

I won’t think about it, I’d rather eat a candy, I have to be strong and cope, men are not afraid, I’m not afraid of this, I just don’t want to think about it,

And in other ways he explains to himself that there is (as if) no fear.

2. Suppressed fear goes into the unconscious. That is, fear as a feeling remains, but understanding for what reason the fear is lost, because a person diligently tries to forget this fear.

3. The unconscious searches for the existing fear and comes up with a false reason to be afraid. Irrational fear is ready.

Here, perhaps, it is necessary to give examples.

Example 1

Woman, 34, fear of poisonous spiders. He understands that poisonous spiders are not found in our region. However, this does not make the fear go away.

Lives with mom. Mom completely controls her life, starting from what she wears and ending with relationships with men.

The real fears are obvious: this is the fear of mom and the fear of independence. In other words, she lacks the courage to live her own way, not listening to her mother.

The unconscious logic is this: I’d rather be afraid of poisonous spiders, because we don’t have them and being afraid of them is not as scary as being afraid of my mother, formidable and omnipotent, who is nearby and can punish.

Symbolically, these fears are connected: “Mom, like a spider, has woven a web around me and I can’t get out.”

Example 2

Male, 25 years old, fear of heights. The fear is so strong that he is afraid to even stand on a stool.

During the consultation process, we found out that it is difficult for him to make contact with people, that he is terribly afraid of disapproval, a low rating, "what people will think."

The real fear is the fear of error, evaluation. In other words, the fear of not being up to par.

Unconscious logic: I'd rather be afraid of heights, it's not as scary as being afraid of judgment.

Symbolic connection: afraid of falling = afraid of falling in the eyes of others.

Example 3

Boy, 5 years old. Suddenly, fears began on completely different topics, especially new things or people and nightmares.

During a conversation with my parents, they found out that my grandmother had died a few weeks ago. The child is not told about this, because "they protect the psyche." The child was not present at the funeral, although he knew his grandmother and communicated with her quite often. That is, for the child, the grandmother simply disappeared. Her parents don't support talking about her.

Real fear: something terrible has happened that parents hide, something that makes mom cry, but that you can’t even talk about.

Unconscious logic: I don’t know what exactly happened and what I need to be afraid of, so just in case I will be afraid of everything, especially everything new, suddenly it’s dangerous.

That is, irrational fear is a superficial symptom, and its cause always lies a little deeper. Behind every irrational fear there is necessarily a real fear, a rational one, and a real danger corresponding to this, but the person no longer remembers this.

In therapy, we go in the opposite direction:

1. The therapist helps the person understand that their fear is irrational. That the threat he imagined for himself was unrealistic. Usually the client himself is aware of this.

2. Find out what the real fear is behind the irrational one. To do this, you need to remember it, to understand what the client is really afraid of. This stage is difficult to pass without a psychologist:

Firstly, psychic defenses prevent the realization of real fear, and secondly, it may turn out that this is a story of such an early childhood that there is no memory of it, and then the help of a specially trained person will be needed.

4. We work with real fear, and therefore with real danger. What can be done to get rid of the danger? What measures to take? How to protect yourself? What can be done to make fear bearable?

In example 1.

2 fears - 2 signals:

Independent life (without a mother) is full of dangers, if you don’t obey your mother, you will be punished.

In example 2.

The danger that fear warns about is “be on top, otherwise they will think badly of you and treat you badly.”

The client learned to prioritize his own evaluation of himself, to endure the dissatisfaction of others, while maintaining himself in good condition. I learned to calmly admit my mistakes and shortcomings, without going into self-flagellation. Learned to tolerate different attitudes of people. When he was able to feel good and worthy regardless of specific achievements, the fear of heights disappeared (as if) on its own.

In example 3.

All of these stories share the same patterns:

If you run away from fear, get distracted and forget, it intensifies. If we managed to escape from fear, then congratulations, we deceived ourselves, and it comes in a new guise, in the form of irrational fear. And then he still forces us to meet with him. Fear goes away if measures are taken regarding the danger. That is, to understand what the danger is that fear warns us about, and how to deal with this danger.

To take fear as an ally, to consult with it, for me means asking myself a few questions and finding an answer to them:

What is my fear warning me about, what danger? What can I do about this danger? What measures to take? How can I protect myself?

The difficulty is that if there is fear, then the person does not yet have an answer to these questions. And finding them is not an easy task, but it is creative and interesting.

How to get rid of obsessive thoughts that interfere with a normal life?
Way to get rid of fear.

ANSWER. First of all, let's understand what is intrusive thoughts?
The cause of obsessive thoughts is fear
These are thoughts that the owner is not able to control. He does not want to "think of them", but they "think". Why? Because in the subconscious there is a reason for their appearance. This is fear. The person is afraid and decides not to think about it. But he has no solution for the situation, there is only the emotion of fear. Consciousness prohibits thoughts on this topic, but the power of fear is so great that it breaks the prohibition of consciousness, and breaks through in the form of obsessive thoughts. Thoughts arise as a subconscious attempt to find a solution. Control is lost due to two mutually exclusive commands.

In every life phenomenon there is both a negative and positive side. In any situation, it is important to remember this and try to find it. The positive thing about obsessive thoughts is that they signal loudly!!! about deep-seated fear.

How bad is fear?
It is not the man who controls him, but he - the man. Fear limits a person in his actions, decisions, makes him act inappropriately, illogically, and at the same time insidiously hides. The person usually does not realize that the reason for his decision was fear. Usually such situations are clearly visible from the outside. We think of someone: “If I were in his place, I would do such and such. And everything seems to be so clear. And a person suffers, commits illogical, sometimes stupid actions in their consequences. Why do we see from the outside as it is right, but he does not see from the inside? Because he is hindered by fear, which is unconscious.
In fact, fear is just an emotion. Fear is our reluctance to get into a situation because we think it will hurt us. But if life goes like this, we can still get into this situation, and no fear will prevent this. What will help us? Will help calm state, the ability to manage their emotions and actions and make an informed decision. That is, in fact, fear deceives us. He does not save us from dangerous situation, but on the contrary, it does not allow you to be ready for it, having thought over how you can act in order to cope, win.

How to get rid of intrusive thoughts? You need to go from the opposite. Do not push them away, but “think more” in order to understand the fear of what is behind them. When you have discovered fear, you need to deal with it - why are you so afraid of it, what from the past, and not only yours, but possibly your close relatives, causes or strengthens your fear. And remove the very emotion of fear. So that on a rational level you understand that you would not want this to happen to you, but fear did not fall on you. When this result is achieved, obsessive thoughts will no longer bother you.
How to get rid of fear
You can use this method. I warn you, its implementation requires fortitude and perseverance. To hold before your eyes a picture that you cannot get rid of, something that you are afraid of. Consider with details, experience all emotions. Of course, at first you will be "crippled". You need to go through this without extinguishing emotions in yourself, continue to consider it. After some time, there will be a peak of unpleasant emotions and a weakening, accompanied by relaxation and a sense of relief.

I want to add that it is not easy to cope with any fear. And the “obsessive thoughts” stage usually occurs when the fear has already grown, has become powerful, so it’s quite difficult for a person to cope with it on their own. In this case, it is better to seek help from a specialist.

Another way to get rid of fear.

How to overcome fear with telepathy

There are many bright and joyful sides in our world, but, unfortunately, there is also a lot of aggression, purely physical and emotional. Aggression causes a variety of reactions in people, the most common of which are fear and pain.

The well-known psychoanalyst Erich Fromm, in his book Anatomy of Human Destructiveness, devoted to the study of aggressiveness, writes: “Fear, like pain, is very unpleasant feeling, and a person tries to get rid of it at any cost, There are many ways to overcome fear. For example, medicines, sex, sleep, or communication with other people. But one of the most effective methods of crowding out fears is aggressiveness. If a person finds the strength to move from a passive state of fear into an attack, the painful feeling of fear immediately disappears.

Interesting take, right? Many people use it in real life, without even suspecting that they are acting in accordance with the recommendations of the great psychologist. True, getting rid of fear, people sometimes get into trouble with the police and the law.

In Japan, psychological relief rooms are used for this purpose, in which there are rubber mannequins of bosses. Anyone can go there to take his soul and beat the "pseudo boss" to the point of complete exhaustion. After such an action, fear and anger disappear, and complete relaxation and tranquility sets in. So what do we do here in Israel? Mannequins are expensive, and renting rooms for them is even more expensive. And the owners of enterprises are greedy people. They save on salaries, not to mention the offices of psychological relief.

As always in a hopeless situation, you can only rely on yourself. Therefore, I offer you a simple and effective option"beating the boss" from the series "Psychological self-help".
Fear Overcoming Technique
To make it clearer, I'll tell you a little story.
I recently met my old friend Svetlana. Once I helped her, and since then we have not seen each other. Noticing me, she smiled, looked conspiratorially, and her eyes were sly, sly: “You gave me excellent advice. I still use it to this day." Confidently shaking her head, she continued enthusiastically: “Now I feel calm next to the boss, anxiety and fear are gone, I can easily express everything that I think, and at the same time he reacts calmly. If he yells at me, then after five minutes he comes running to apologize. All employees are surprised by the changes that have taken place. Now I calmly come to work and, interestingly, my back pain has gone.”

A year ago, Svetlana was just in a panic. Her boss, a petty tyrant and a very unbalanced personality, often yelled at her because of the slightest mistake in her work, and once he got so angry that he began to chase her around the offices shouting - "I'll kill you." Svetlana locked herself in the toilet from him and sat there in fear for two hours. The staff even called the Mishtar. The conflict was settled, but as a result, Sveta got a backache and she spent a week on sick leave. Here is such a story.

Now you can already tell about what I advised her. I asked her to introduce her boss and mentally beat him up. Yes, yes, beat it. What started here. Emotions boiled up in her, and the beating began. True, at first she could not imagine him in full height, but only small ones, the fear that sat deep in the subconscious interfered. Gradually, Svetlana became more and more confident, and her imagination painted more and more vivid pictures. She drove him into the very toilet where she hid from him in fear, and there she took her soul away. It was interesting to observe how her facial expression changed during this procedure. Only after forty minutes Svetlana said - "That's enough, I'm tired of him." Then I asked her to mentally restore all traces of beatings on his body, and to forgive him for the offense caused. And she was able to do it easily, although an hour ago she said that she would never forgive him, and would take revenge all her life.

Why do you think we need to forgive? That's right, unforgiven grievances harm first of all the one who carries them in his chest. They cause pain and irritation, spoil the mood, interfere with work, and, in the end, cause a variety of diseases.
You need to ask for forgiveness from the beaten offender and then forgive yourself. And then the soul should become light and free. To control the quality of the work done, imagine that you are hugging the person you just forgave. If it’s easy for you, and nothing interferes, then you did everything well, and if something bothers you, then you need to repeat the entire procedure from beginning to end.

Everything turned out great for Sveta, and she went home happy. Subsequently, when her boss raised his voice at her, she immediately mentally began to beat him, and interestingly, after a few minutes, he resorted to apologizing. Gradually conflicts became less and less frequent. Svetlana became more and more confident and calm. Miracles, you say, some kind of magic. Nothing like this! This is one of the exercises used in Holographic Therapy, a modern scientific development that is based on the holographic model of the mind. The mental images that Sveta created were immediately felt by her boss at the subconscious level, he felt uncomfortable, there was a feeling of guilt in front of her, and, as a result, a desire to settle the conflict and ask for forgiveness.

How are thoughts transmitted from person to person? And it's very simple. The fact is that the mental images we create are holograms by their physical nature and obey the corresponding physical laws. Holograms are three-dimensional images formed by superimposing light waves on top of each other. They can easily move in space and be perceived by our subconscious. With the help of mental holograms, we can control our emotions, behavior, health, and even influence our future. By the way, telepathy works on this principle. So it turns out that Svetlana, without realizing it herself, telepathically influenced her boss and got an excellent result.

The main tool of "Holographic Therapy" is the imagination. Yes, yes, simple, banal imagination, but how it works can be deduced from the above example with Sveta. And most importantly, our imagination is always with us, you do not need to pay for it in pharmacies. Count how much money you throw away on medicines. Have you counted? Well, what, you already, probably, itched your hands to beat ALL YOUR OFFENDERS? Then start! Do not forget to just take my advice and hold the beating mentally in your imagination. Have a nice experience!

I can already hear the indignant voices of the moralists. “You promote violence!!! At first, people will beat everyone mentally, and then they will move on to real actions.” I can reassure you gentlemen, this will not happen. And here's why - I recommend forgiving the offender and asking for his forgiveness. Forgiveness makes a person balanced and strong spiritually, gives the experience of understanding other people.

When Elena needs to open the door, she takes out a handkerchief or napkin and takes the door handle only through the handkerchief. “You have no idea how many germs are here! This is how you can get infected. I love cleanliness, ”she explains her actions to the astonished people around ... Such a pathological love for cleanliness, up to sterility, is nothing but a phobia.

We are all afraid of something. Some are heights, some are depths or darkness. We are afraid of diseases, we are afraid of terrorists, we are afraid of death. Fear is natural, it is part of life. But sometimes they cross all boundaries and begin to persecute us, preventing us from enjoying life and achieving success. Then it becomes a problem.

There are real fears. Let's say a person returns home at night, and someone obviously aggressively molests him. Such fears are even necessary as a manifestation of caution, the instinct of self-preservation. turn on defense mechanisms: either run, or fight, or get out of this situation in any way. It is known that at such moments a person does what he was not capable of before, remarkable strength is taken from somewhere, vision, hearing, speed of reaction are sharpened. For example, a case was recorded when, fleeing a fire, a woman with a child jumped from the fourth floor, and both were unharmed, without a single scratch.

But not everyone knows: with fear we attract what we fear. People who fear aggression often become victims of violence. Fear of the disease gradually intensifies, aggravates its course. Here is a reliable fact: at the insistence of his wife, the man began to be actively examined by doctors, which he had not done for many years. It was cheerful healthy man. However, in a series of tests, an assumption arose that he had cancer, which, however, was not confirmed. But the relentless thought of it, panicky and frightening, brought him to the grave.

Another man was accidentally locked in a huge freezer. The freezer was not turned on, it had room temperature, but the man died a few hours later, had all the signs of frostbite: he had no idea that the unit was not working. Fear of death led him to death.

But there are fears that are not related to the real situation, when the probability of danger is small. However, the constant feeling of impending disaster is a pathology. In other words, a phobia. It could be fear closed space(for example, a person is afraid to ride in an elevator), large spaces, heights, darkness ... People usually know about this feature of theirs. So, one very successful businessman is afraid to fly on airplanes. Long before the flight, he experiences severe stress, so he starts drinking to drown out the feeling of anxiety, and takes alcohol during the flight. Such behavior is dictated by a phobia. Of course, everything can be in flight, but the businessman's fear is inadequate to the situation, there was and is no reason for worrying, since before all his travels on airliners were calm and successful.

There is also the so-called persecution mania. It seems to a person that they are following him, they are waiting for him somewhere, someone wants to deal with him, although in reality this is not: he is not a diplomat, he is not rich, he does not possess secret information, he has done nothing wrong to anyone, he finally , no debt. But he constantly lives in fear, walks, looking around in order to notice his pursuers. He is afraid to enter the entrance, to visit unfamiliar places... Of course, this poisons the life of him and his loved ones.

The fear of the unknown, novelty, change is very common. As a rule, we are not aware of it, but latently it puts pressure on the psyche, dictates behavior in which we miss chances, do not use our opportunities. We do not notice this, and then we wonder: why are we so unlucky in life? Now many people also have a fear of failure (also often not realized). Not having time to take on a new business, they immediately give up: "It won't work." This extinguishes the opportunity to prove oneself, to change something in life.

It happens that fears are expressed by bodily sensations. This is especially common in women. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, usually at night, they begin to suffocate, their heartbeat increases, sweating, they are thrown either into heat or into cold. Such ladies are looking for some hidden disease, go to the doctors. And this is a manifestation of anxiety, fear, the so-called panic attacks, and they should be treated by a psychotherapist.

How to get rid of fear? It is difficult, of course, but you can try to reduce it yourself. To do this, you need to recognize it, agreeing: "Yes, I'm afraid." And convince yourself that this fear is an obstacle, the brake that prevents you from achieving your goals. The absence of fear, self-confidence already provides 50 percent of success in any business.

To cope with such a misfortune, you cannot turn away from it, pretend that there is no fear. On the contrary, you need to fearlessly "go" on your own fear, on your own problem. Then the fear will subside. Then determine what you are afraid of. For example, if you are afraid to walk the streets when it gets dark, then you are either afraid of the dark (darkness presses), or you are afraid of aggression from others (robbery, rape). See how likely you are to be attacked... If you're afraid of flying, determine if you're afraid of heights or that the plane might fall and crash. How likely is it to fall? Tell yourself, “This is just my fear. In reality, there is no such situation.”

You can draw your own fear. It is best to do this alone. Light a candle, prepare paints or felt-tip pens, a blank sheet of paper. Say three times and better out loud, but you can also mentally: “I want to get rid of the fear of heights (from the fear of getting cancer, drowning). State briefly and clearly what you are afraid of. Sit comfortably, relax, take a brush or felt-tip pen and say to yourself: “I want to draw my fear.” Imagine it vividly, feel it and start drawing your feelings. It should not be some logical, specific drawing, so it is better to draw with your left hand to activate right hemisphere. It can be some abstract shapes, lines. Do not try to comprehend, analyze your drawing while you are creating it. Let your hand represent what it wants. These will not be just scribbles, but symbols and colors of your fears, hidden in the depths of the subconscious. For someone it will be a dot, someone will paint the entire sheet black. The picture will appear anyway. Then set fire to the leaf from the candle and throw it on a plate or in a tin saucepan. When the leaf burns out, flush the ashes down the toilet. It is advisable to do this exercise seven times (once every three days). If you are a believer, you can additionally read a prayer and ask God for help (this enhances the effect of this technique).

Instead of a drawing, you can write on a piece of paper: "I'm afraid ..." and then burn this piece of paper, wash off the ashes. But the drawing technique helps more effectively.

There is also the “Playing your fear” technique. What is its essence?

Imagine the worst thing that happened in your life. For example, you went on stage to read an important report and could not utter a word, blushed, turned pale, stood and ... left the stage in disgrace. After that, you could no longer look your colleagues in the eye, the boss yelled at you and fired you, and you, to your surprise, remained alive and well. Then imagine that this negative situation has turned into a great upsurge in life for you. Let's say you find a better, better paying job where you no longer have to perform on stage. Or even change jobs. As you can see, the worst thing in life can turn out to be a great success. Play this situation mentally several times: your fear will decrease. Moreover, you will understand that there is no reason for him, but we are talking just a little trouble in your life. And, in the end, maybe it's really worth changing jobs if it brings you more fears than pleasure?

Or, for example, if you are afraid of getting infected by some terrible infectious disease, imagine that you were infected with it, and you were cured (and no one even knew about it, and if someone found out, they reacted to it quite calmly). In general, the world did not turn upside down as a result of your illness, you remained alive and well, loved and adored by everyone.

Fear will go away by itself if you live it and understand that any illness (as, indeed, any negative situation) is a life lesson. And if you learn it, then a negative situation or illness will not affect your life.

If you feel that these and other techniques do not help and fears consume you, then it is better not to delay, but go to a psychologist or psychotherapist. For fears can intensify over time, and then you can get exactly what you are afraid of.

Aerophobia - fear of flying
Agoraphobia - fear of open spaces
Eichmophobia - fear of sharp objects
Aquaphobia (also hydrophobia) - fear of water
Acnephobia - a phobia of skin acne
Acrophobia - fear of heights
Acribophobia - a phobia of not understanding the meaning of what is read
Acousticophobia - fear of loud sounds
Algophobia - fear of pain
Amatophobia - phobia of dust
Amychophobia - a phobia of skin damage
Anginophobia - a phobia of angina pectoris
Androphobia (also arrhenphobia, hominophobia) - fear of men
Anemophobia - a phobia of being caught off guard by a storm
Apeirophobia - phobia of infinity
Apopatophobia - fear of going to restrooms
Arrhythmophobia (also numerophobia) - phobia of a number (certain)
Arachnophobia - fear of spiders
Arrhenphobia - see androphobia
Astrapophobia is the fear of thunder, thunder and lightning. More common in children
Astraphobia - see astrapophobia
Ataxiophobia - a phobia of impaired coordination of movements
Athazagoraphobia - fear of forgetting or being forgotten
Autophobia - 1) phobia of loneliness (for example, fear of being alone in a room); 2) phobia of one's own selfishness
Aerophobia - phobia of drafts

Basophobia - a phobia of walking
Bacteriophobia - the phobia of contracting bacteria from contaminated objects
Barophobia - phobia of heavy lifting
Bateophobia - fear of heights
Brontophobia - fear of thunder
Belonophobia - a phobia of being pricked by sharp objects
Blapotophobia - the phobia of hurting someone
Bromohydrophobia - the fear of smelling bad
Brontophobia - fear of lightning and thunder

Venetophobia - the fear of contracting a sexually transmitted disease
Vertigophobia - fear of dizziness
Vinophobia - fear of drinking alcohol
Vomitophobia - a phobia of vomiting in the wrong place

Hapophobia - fear of being touched by others
Haphephobia - fear of being touched
Heliophobia - a phobia of being in the sun
Heterophobia - fear of the opposite sex
Gerontophobia - a phobia of communication with the elderly; phobia of aging
Gefirophobia - a phobia of crossing a bridge (a type of bateophobia)
Hydrosophobia - phobia of sweating and catching a cold
Hydrophobia - 1) fear of water; 2) fear of liquids
Hexakosiohexekontahexaphobia - fear of the number 666
Genecophobia - a phobia of women (a type of anochoretism)
Gymnophobia - fear of nudity
Hypengiophobia - a phobia of responsibility
Hypnophobia - falling asleep phobia (fear of dying while sleeping)
Glossophobia - fear of public speaking
Homilophobia - a phobia of communication, the fear of failing, seeming funny, suspicious, attracting attention to oneself
Hominophobia - see androphobia
Homophobia - fear of homosexuals or becoming homosexual
Gravidophobia - phobia of meeting with a pregnant woman; phobia of getting pregnant
Graphophobia - a phobia to write, pick up writing materials

Dextrophobia - a phobia of objects located to the right of the patient
Demophobia - fear of crowds large cluster of people
Dermatopathophobia - the phobia of getting a skin disease
Dinophobia - phobia of dizziness
Dysmorphophobia - fear of deformity
Dorophobia - fear of receiving or giving gifts
Dromophobia - fear of crossing the street

Zoophobia is the fear of animals, most commonly a certain kind(cats, chickens, etc.)

Hierophobia - a phobia of meeting religious objects
Isolophobia - a phobia of loneliness in life
Iophobia - phobia of poisons, accidental poisoning

Cairophobia - phobia of new situations, unfamiliar place
Cardiophobia - obsessive fear spontaneous cardiac arrest
Cheirophobia - a phobia of hairdressers, the fear of cutting off a client when shaving
Carcinophobia - fear of cancer
Cenophobia - a concept close to agoraphobia - a phobia of large unfilled spaces, for example, an empty square
Keraunophobia is a phobia of thunder and lightning, often found in children.
Cypridophobia - syn. venerophobia
Claustrophobia - fear of closed spaces
Kleptophobia - a phobia of thieves, often in old age, combined with obsession. stealing ideas
Climacophobia - phobia of walking up stairs
Coinophobia - the phobia of entering a room with many people
Counterphobia - obsessive provocation of the situation, causing fear, eg. fear of heights is combined with the desire to become a pilot, stewardess, etc.
Copophobia - a phobia of overwork
Cosmophobia - fear of space disasters
Criminophobia - a phobia of committing a crime
Xenophobia - fear of strangers or foreigners
Xerophobia - fear of dryness, drought

Lalophobia - a phobia of speaking due to fear of stuttering
Laterophobia - phobia of lying on the left side (with cardiophobia)
Leprophobia - a phobia of contracting leprosy
Lyssophobia - an obsessive fear of going insane
Logophobia - a phobia of unlearning how to speak words

Maniophobia - a phobia of becoming ill with a mental disorder
Misophobia - phobia of pollution
Menophobia - phobia of menstruation and accompanying pain
Metallophobia - a phobia of metals and metal objects
Misophobia - fear of pollution
Microphobia - fear of germs
Mixeophobia - a phobia of sexual intercourse due to the fear of exposing the genitals, touching the body of a partner
Monophobia - a phobia of loneliness, fear of being rejected and unloved; the only type of phobia that does not combine with others
Morphinophobia - the phobia of becoming a morphine addict

Necrophobia - phobia of corpses, funerals, funeral paraphernalia
Neophobia - fear of new things
Nyctophobia - phobia of darkness, nightfall, agonizing expectation of insomnia
Nosophobia - obsessive fear of getting sick with an incurable disease
Numerophobia - see arrhythmophobia

Odontophobia - a phobia of going to the dentist, dental treatment
Ombrophobia - phobia of getting caught in the rain
Onanophobia - phobia negative consequences masturbation
Ochlophobia (also demophobia) - a phobia of the appearance of a crowd of people

Rhabdophobia - phobia of punishment
Radiophobia - fear of radiation and x-rays
Rectophobia - the fear of failing to successfully go to the toilet
Ripophobia (also mesophobia) - phobia of dirt
Rubrophobia (also erythrophobia) - phobia of the color red

Syphilophobia - an obsessive fear of contracting syphilis
AIDS phobia - obsessive fear of getting AIDS
Satanophobia (also demonophobia) - phobia of Satan
Siderodromophobia - a phobia of riding a railway, especially during periods of acceleration
Sitophobia - a phobia of eating;
Scabiophobia (also acriophobia) – phobia of scabies
Skopophobia (also scoptophobia) - a phobia of being funny, attracting attention to oneself
Social phobia - fear of society or people in general
Spectrophobia - a phobia of mirrors
Stazobasophobia - phobia of standing and walking

Talasophobia - phobia of the sea, sea travel
Thanatophobia - phobia of death
Theophobia - phobia of God, God's punishment
Thermophobia - phobia of heat, heated rooms
Technophobia - fear of the dominance of technology (especially electronic); negative perception social consequences technical progress
Tocophobia - phobia of childbirth
Toxicophobia - a phobia of poisoning
Topophobia - fear of being alone in a room, fear that you will not be able to escape from a fire, earthquake or any other natural disaster
Tredekaphobia - phobia of the number thirteen
Tremophobia - phobia of shaking
Triskaidekaphobia (also terdekaphobia) - fear of the number 13
Trichophobia - a phobia of getting hair on food, on clothes, on the body

Ouranophobia - the phobia of looking at the sky
Urophobia - a phobia of the urge to urinate in the face of the impossibility of its implementation

Phagophobia - fear of choking on food
Phasmophobia - a phobia of ghosts, spirits, and other fantastic creatures
Pharmacophobia - a phobia of taking medications
Phobiaphobia - fear of phobias

Harpaxophobia - phobia of robbers
Chilophobia - phobia of the forest (to get lost, meet wild animals)
Hipengiophobia - a phobia of responsibility
Chrematophobia - a phobia of touching money (often combined with mesophobia)
Chromatophobia - a phobia of any color
Chronophobia - phobia of time (a form of prison neurosis)

Eizoptrophobia (also spectrophobia) - phobia of mirrors
Eichophobia - a phobia of hearing or saying good wishes
Epistaxophobia - fear of nosebleeds
Ergasiophobia - a phobia of committing any action, movement
Erythrophobia - 1) fear of blushing; 2) neurotic fear that occurs when looking at objects painted red

Zoophobia (fear of animals)

Ailurophobia (also gatophobia, galeophobia) - fear of cats
Apiphobia (also melisophobia) - phobia of bees, wasps
Agrizoophobia - fear of wild animals
Alektorophobia - fear of chickens
Arachnephobia (also arachnophobia) - fear of spiders
Bacteriophobia (also bacilliphobia, sicrophobia) - fear of infection with microbes
Bactraphobia - fear of reptiles, reptiles
Bacillophobia - see bacteriophobia
Blennophobia - fear of mucus
Buphonophobia - fear of toads
Verminophobia - fear of bacteria, microbes, infection, worms, infectious insects
Herpetophobia - fear of reptiles, reptiles, snakes
Hippophobia - fear of horses
Doraphobia - fear of growing hair after touching the skin of an animal, fur or animal skin
Zemmiphobia - fear of rats
Isopterophobia - fear of wood-eating insects, termites
Insectophobia - fear of insects
Ichthyophobia - fear of fish
Cynophobia - fear of dogs, being bitten by a rabid dog
Knidophobia - fear of stinging insects, bites
Lutraphobia - fear of otters
Myrmecophobia - fear of ants
Mottephobia - fear of moths
Musophobia - fear of mice
Ostraconophobia - fear of shellfish
Ophidiophobia (also epistemophobia) – phobia of snakes
Pediculophobia - fear of lice
Pteranophobia - fear of bird feathers
ranidaphobia - fear of frogs
Selachophobia - fear of sharks
Sycrophobia - see bacteriophobia
Scoleciphobia - fear of worms, infectious insects
Sphexophobia - fear of wasps
Taurophobia - fear of bulls
Teniophobia - fear of infection with tapeworms; kind of nosophobia
Phthyriophobia - fear of lice
Equinophobia - fear of horses
Elurophobia - fear of cats
Emichophobia - fear of scratches
Entomophobia - fear of insects
Epistemophobia - see ophidiophobia

Other phobias

Hedonophobia - fear of pleasure
Gelophobia - fear of laughter
Genuphobia - fear of knees
Hypomonstersquipedalophobia - fear of pronunciation of long words
Kyonophobia - fear of snow
Coulrophobia - fear of clowns
Lacanophobia - fear of vegetables
Nephophobia - fear of clouds
Oikophobia - a phobia of returning home after being discharged from a psychiatric hospital
Panophobia - fear of everything
Papaphobia - Fear of the Pope
Pelidophobia - fear of bald people
Parthenophobia - fear of virgins
Pogonophobia - fear of beards
Syngenesophobia - fear of relatives
Testophobia - fear of exams
Phobophobia - fear of fear
Hairophobia - fear of being laughed at at a funeral

What are we afraid of? Let's take a look at common fears.

1. Fear of illness.

Fear of illness is more common in people who lead a passive lifestyle. They literally listen to their every "sore". And then "draw" to themselves terrible diagnoses. There is only one advice here: start playing sports, find yourself an exciting activity, communicate more with your friends, go out into nature and live according to its laws.

If you are active and all of the above is already present in your life, then the fear of illness is a consequence of the fear of loss.

2. Fear of loss.

So what are you afraid of losing? Yes, whatever. If you get sick, you can lose your job, your loved one, the lifestyle you are used to. After all, you are afraid of the high financial costs associated with treatment. In this case, we must understand that everything we have is just a means of our existence. You can always find a job, perhaps it will even turn out to be more interesting and profitable. Beloved did not stand the test? So she is weak to you. What about finances? But you have many good and reliable friends, they will not leave you in trouble. The fear of loss, as well as other fears, comes from a great distrust of oneself, people, and the world.

3. Fear of old age.

When the fear of old age enters your mind, you begin to draw pictures in which you see yourself as weak, wrinkled, blind or deaf. But after all, everyone knows that old people are with sharp eyesight running and yoga, taking some courses, traveling the world. And young people who already have excess weight, are pessimistic about the world and see only the bad in it.

friends, only active actions can help you. Exercise, eat right and do good to those around you. Do not revolve only around your own axis, but like the Earth - also revolve around the Sun.

4. Fear of death.

The fear of old age is also the fear of death. But this fear needs to be worked on once and for all. You should accept death as an inevitability and understand that being afraid of death, scrolling through the pictures of your death, you die every time. Live full life and death will come to you only once.

5. Fear of water, enclosed space, flying on an airplane.

These fears are less common. And here you can recommend to go towards your fear.

Fear of water can be overcome by learning how to swim. Never do this against your will. Don't let "good" friends push you into the water by force.

Fear of confined space is inherent in people who love freedom, travel, it is typical for independent and active people who cannot stand monotony in business, strict schedules and regulations. If this fear does not prevent you from living, then you can not fight it, but simply accept yourself as you are.

Fear of flying on an airplane is already more serious, because due to certain circumstances you have to use the services of airlines. Well, there is simply no way to get to the place you need by another mode of transport. In this case, we can recommend listening to music on headphones so as not to hear the roar of motors, sleeping, getting to know and chatting with a neighbor, reading a book or watching a movie.

There are many more types of fears in people. But let your fears be afraid of you. And there is only one way out of them - these are active and optimistic actions with a shout of "Hurrah!"