Depression as a result of a distorted perception of excess weight. What are the consequences of depression

Hello. My name is Lena. I'm almost 28. I don't even know where to start. It is difficult to formulate the main problem. I think I have problems in my personal life because of my appearance. And in general, because of her. Before, I never really cared about my appearance. I considered myself beautiful, but as I grew up, people began to tell me that I was ugly. only in a rough form ... Not all in a row, but many. I remember in college a lot of people called me scary, but when I came out of there on the way home, I could be called beautiful. strange. I think I have an ambiguous appearance, so for someone it’s scary, for someone it’s pretty. AT adolescence, and even now, I began to notice that all the attention of the guys is directed to girlfriends, and zero attention to me. I didn't understand why this was happening. I was very worried about this. I'm no worse. I am offended by the reaction of people, mostly negative comes from girls. They look at me and giggle, it doesn’t seem to me. sometimes I hear what they say about me. Especially in the office. Terrarium. I can't drive to public transport so I'm studying law. and if you need to go somewhere and it's not far, I go on foot. I was photographed strangers. I don't understand why. i'm not a freak. I don't have 3 eyes, no scars. I am pretty. I look after myself. some people say that I have a Roman profile, one woman called me a Greek. and that with such appearance I must have several lovers. but I'm alone all the time. Yes, I closed myself at home. I'm afraid to go to public places because of the people. For me, it's all painful. I have been living at home for almost 8 years now. to work and home. sometimes I go somewhere. I walk my dog ​​in the evening. even during these walks they look askance at me. I walk for a long time, an hour and a half. sometimes guys meet. but rarely. girls are not friends with me, they consider me worse than themselves, not their circle. Guys... I've never had a normal relationship. They paid attention to me. but these guys are not the ones I need. at the age of 16 there was not a Russian guy, but quite popular in our college. we only met in college. He never even called me or wrote to me. the relationship was just communication with kisses while studying and that's it. later I liked the guy, I told him about it, and he made fun of me. I was played on the phone, but I immediately realized what was happening. The next day they were laughing and everyone was aware of the prank. so always, whoever is nice to me, they don't need me. The “not those” pay attention to me. married, womanizers, men 20 years older or ignoramuses who make 10 mistakes in one sentence. At one time, I began to sculpt someone else out of myself. She started painting and grew her hair out. I started getting compliments. But seeing the real me, the guy could say: go make beauty. or "you're so 'beautiful'" in the opposite sense. so the thought stuck in my head that I can only be liked when I'm beautiful. no one will love me for who I am. and it really did happen. when I am beautiful, they treat me with respect, listen to me, but as without makeup. disrespect immediately begins. jokes begin. comparisons with others. I recently had 20 or even 30 cm of hair cut off. I asked for a little trim and here is the result. the hairdresser also joked: if she had cut her hair in a cascade, it would have been even shorter and at the end she said they would grow back! I was humiliated. she and the other masters were giggling when I left. I held back my tears. but at home she cried for 2 days. Even my nose bled. Now I feel insecure, I don't feel attractive. The attention from the guys has become less. and I was once again convinced that apart from appearance they do not need anything. so I was "humiliated" a couple of times. as it came to the salon. my girlfriend asked the master: do you have your own hair? I answered yes. And she cut them off for me too.
I also have a sister. everyone thinks she's beautiful. especially the father. My fans often switched to her. rudely sent me. and I "protected" our relationship, did everything so that they would not meet. But all in vain, I was only wasting my strength. but I keep doing it. I just want to have something of my own, and it hurts and hurts me when they change me for others.
About the work. often I am not hired because of my height as an administrator or hostess (I am 158 cm and look younger than my age), I am tired of all this.
why can't I meet someone who loves me? why do people show so much negativity towards me?

We all know that stress has a direct impact on our appearance. A woman who is irritated daily ages much faster. Her hormone estrogen decreases with stress, and this female hormone has a direct impact on appearance and beauty. What to do when in a bad mood?

Let's define the main points of influence of stress and bad mood:

The effect of stress on nervous system
The nervous system controls all systems of our body and emotions affect all organs. BUT negative emotions lead to negative consequences: disorder gastrointestinal tract, sleep disturbance, osteochondrosis and arthritis, and the list is endless. It is also bad that the effect of stress on the nervous system is also expressed in violations of our performance. And when "everything falls out of hand" arises additional load on the nerves. If this vicious circle continues long time, then it is useful to know that they have a close relationship, and lack of sleep affects the face and other undeniable truths.

The effect of stress on the immune system
When you are constantly in a bad mood chronic stress. It reduces defensive forces body, and weakened the immune system allows phenomena such as skin rash and acne. Any disease is aggravated, and the immune system cannot protect us from this.

Question: can the skin be healthy if immunity is reduced and nerves are loosened? The answer is obvious.

The effect of stress on the skin
Stress causes vasospasm, which in turn worsens the blood supply to the skin, the face becomes pale, nutrients are delivered worse, and over time, the skin of the face acquires wrinkles. must be avoided. Unexpected events can cause strong emotions and nothing can be done about it, but chronic stressful situations you have to learn to overcome.

What to do when in a bad mood?

What to do when you have persistent bad mood and irritability and there are objective reasons for this?

• Problems must be solved, even if the process is long, gradually make efforts to eliminate the causes that spoil the mood. And the skin should be helped at this time, to nourish it.
• Do a tonic when you urgently need to "be in shape." Do it two or three times a week nourishing masks for face.
• Do exercises - physical activity causes a rush of blood to the skin of the face, which helps it receive more nutrients. At the same time, the hormone of joy endorphin is released and a beautiful blush appears, which will “treat” your constantly bad mood and turn life into a pleasant side.
• Pay attention to nutrition, remember that the health of the whole organism also depends on the availability of strength to deal with a stressful situation.
• Entertainment. Of course, when you are in constant annoyance, you hardly want to have fun. But sometimes switching to a new one is simply necessary. Go to visit, to the bath, to the cinema, to the park, do something pleasant for yourself. Let your body rest and you will keep the beauty.

What to do when in a bad mood? To be active. Any activity switches us to a different state. If you lie down and feel the desire to "die", then this state destroys your body. It takes effort to get up. Maybe go somewhere, or just do the exercises at home to start with.

If you are constantly in a bad mood, what to do with this condition? Switch to new. At first it is difficult and you perform mechanical actions, but gradually you are drawn into the process and imperceptibly you begin to live already. new life, new interests. The only question is, do you really want to get rid of this bad mood?

I am 23 years old and I see no reason to live on. I've never been loved because
my appearance... I won't go into details, but I can't change that.
Of course, if I had money, I could somehow correct
my appearance and look much better, but for now I can’t afford it.
You can solve this issue, work day and night, make plastic
operation is the meaning of my life, but I think that all this time I will not
truly live and enjoy life.
I can't talk to anyone about this. Even with parents. Tried
several times but they don't respond. Mom is already biased
reality, she seems to be going crazy soon.
I graduated from the university, I can’t find work in my specialty, I don’t like
my chosen profession.
I have been depressed for several years now. I don't know what's up with all this
do.
Thoughts haunt me. That I'll never have mine
family, that no one will ever love me, that friends have their own
problems and they don't give a damn about me that I can't find a job that
I would like that in the end I will be completely alone and
no one will need me. All this kills. I can't suffer anymore, no
I can feel more indifference from other people. I'm trying to
help others, do something good, hoping that someday
someone will also help me and be kind to me...but that doesn't happen.
I don't know how much longer I'll last like this .. I don't see the light .. It seems my hope
almost died
Support the site:

loonie , age: 06/23/2012

Responses:

You can’t even imagine how beautiful you are, it’s just that no one has met you who would love you the way you are. And most importantly, you must love yourself. , she is skinny like a dystrophic, but her husband loves her and is even jealous, my other friend weighs 140 kg and the same story. love yourself and the world will love you. Personally, when I feel bad, I remember a woman without legs and without arms, who could not just do not despair, but even give birth to a child. By the way, your parents do not react, because they do not consider you not beautiful. Dear you, only 23 believe you will have everything. I know this for sure.

ghoul, age: 38 / 06/06/2012

The worst thing I saw was not even a face after burns, but the face of my director after plastic surgery. She spoke to me and I didn’t know where to look, I couldn’t look at her twisted eyelids and polished red skin. You are among people, and people look at you with your eyes, that is, they treat you the way you treat yourself. Think about what you mean to yourself, without any people who do not need you (as you think). You must be needed by yourself, this is the zero mark. From which we step. Then, without tantrums, we look at what is wrong and correct it. There are so many possibilities now. After the operation, your skin will lose the ability to live its own life, it will be like a person, after an accident, this is a stress for the body. I had a girlfriend, she had already died, she was pretty, but she always scolded herself for the fact that everything was wrong. The last time I saw her in the hospice, she could no longer speak, look at me, she no longer came to her senses, and at that moment she was already so far from our human concepts about beauty and health. Two days before that, she was still able to look and hear, and when I suddenly said Tanya, without expecting it, you are already a bird, she smiled and nodded her head. She lost weight terribly, after chemotherapy all her hair fell out, her husband betrayed her by leaving for another, whose daughter was 18 years old and did not come close, and when I called her to go with me, she clearly told me - I can’t see her like that. Only mother to the last she was there, but she was a believer, and a week before her death she confessed and took communion, and at the moment when from physical strength and there was no longer a trace of beauty, it shone like a pearl inside a dried leaf. Her death became an example for me of how to live and how to die, I did not help her as much as I could help. It always seems to us that tomorrow I will do everything for this person - but we must do it now. Look at yourself from the side of a dying person, and you will see so many opportunities for life, inspiration and just gratitude to God. Pray for the repose of R.B. Tatyana, if you can.

Olga, age: 51 / 06/06/2012

Loonie, you write that if you make the achievement of your goal the meaning of life and throw all your strength into making money, you will not enjoy life now. But are you enjoying it now? You have 2 ways, or still save up for an operation, try to earn money, denying yourself a lot now, but you will have a chance to fix everything, or come to terms with what haunts you. Accept yourself for who you are, and then someone will love you too. But this is a long way, maybe as long as saving money, and you may need the help of a psychologist. We have a free psychologist's office on the forum, you can contact it.
But suicide is not an option. Throw it out of your head, maybe this is a test for you and you must pass it, and not give up, because the strongest torment awaits you there. Learn to live happily in this world first.
Good luck to you!

Wind, age: 06/27/2012

Understand that you are not the only one ... Among men there are also those who suffer. This does not mean that you are some kind of bad, on the contrary, it means that you are good and strong. Not every girl would endure what you endured. As for the plastic, it is quite possible that it is worth it. I have a father in the first and last time married at 37. If he had dropped his hands at 23 because of something, then now I wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t be writing this to you. Hope everything goes well for you.

Maybe start going to church? After all, there is something higher, I personally was convinced of this more than once. Read the books of the holy fathers, ask God to give a husband (He can do it, everything is possible for Him), ask if you need a long time, just believe, hope and do not give up. I repeat, my father married at the age of 37, and now I am writing to you here and asking you to live. Life is unpredictable and it is quite possible that everything will be fine with you. God bless you!

Rusik, age: 06/22/2012

Hello. Change your hairstyle, dye it red (again in fashion), even cut your hair bald. Enter in absentia for a specialty that you like or enroll in courses. Yes, even a makeup artist or a hairdresser. It is inexpensive. Go for a walk in the park while there is time, read books, communicate on the Internet. Appearance is an excuse. What matters is what's inside of you. Now even scary girls are not considered ugly if they are stylish, if there is individuality, and this is a matter of technology. And just do not galvno. Go to the temple, pray, have the courage to turn to the priest and talk to him about your condition. you will not regret. They are always happy to help = it's their job. Everything is in your hands and God's. He will help you, just turn and work on yourself. Good luck to you!

Love, age: 32 / 06/06/2012

Look, you started with your appearance, it seems like you can put an end to it, but then how much more did you list? You can immediately say that before you worry about a long pipe nose or something else, you need to urgently raise your self-esteem and get rid of the fear of living. Sometimes we we misunderstand cause and effect relationships: everything is wrong in your life, because you think so about it. If you continue to wind yourself up and be afraid, nothing will change, alas.
Are you Orthodox? If yes, then you should listen to the answers of the priests to vital, simple questions. Everything can be found on the Internet. I can assure you that Orthodox person should not be afraid of anything! Here you are afraid of the future. Do you know that it does not exist?! Seriously. You change your life every second, and a lot depends on you, yes. But at the same time, many things, situations, trials, personal happiness, children are all there or not with the permission of the Lord! You just need to live conscientiously, not without sin, no, we are all sinners, but if possible, remember the commandments of God, remember the people nearby ... You need to do everything in your power: for example, urgently, right now, stop being afraid to be alone. Is it up to you? Control the appearance of thoughts, simply realizing that your fears are groundless and ridiculous, and come from not accepting yourself. You need to live in harmony with yourself. This is very important. When you have adequate self-esteem, a harmonious state of mind, then you are calm. Attractive and interesting. And it doesn’t matter what your appearance is. in themselves. They have a personal life, friends and what e more on the priority list. Well, in any case, there are! Now just think about what makes them attractive? Just. Their state of mind. Their internal assessment of themselves. You need to feel it, carry it through yourself. Well, work. Find a bunch of normal literature on psychology, techniques for increasing self-esteem, exercises and go ahead. You need to change everything you can. about good!
do not waste your time!

moon , age: 23 / 06/06/2012

Hello.
You are only 23, and you are already desperate! Every day, let alone a year, brings new big and small opportunities. We just want everything at once, and does not always perceive what is with the necessary understanding and gratitude. Right now you see everything like this, in this particular color. But the state will change - and the vision of your future will also change! Remember the moments when you were happy. And when it's the other way around. So don't impose your current state on the rest of your life, which is really unpredictable.
Appearance isn't everything, and it's not the most important thing. You can be convinced of this by the example of the fate of many beauties. "Do not be born beautiful, but be born happy" - a long-noted folk wisdom.
Is it weak to pray EVERY day for your betrothed?! One girl prayed for seven years until she found her husband. The Lord gives everyone what a person needs, if a person knows how to wait.
Don't despair. Keep doing good deeds and be sure to pray. This will gradually overcome depression. Believe me, the Lord will not leave. Every person in this life has his day. And not alone. So, God bless you!

Sergey K, age: 29 / 06/07/2012

Hello! You and I are almost the same age and I
I understand to some extent. I have similar
problems... friends didn't give a damn about me,
my loneliness (I don't know if it's worth it
call friends), there is no boyfriend, in the profession I
disappointed, I am unhappy with my appearance, but
I don't really think this is the main problem. Not
I know what you have there, but mine just seems to me
unfeminine and unattractive...but
the availability of money can change: increase
hair, dress fashionably ... in general with appearance
I don't get too excited. If you have any
there are defects, by the way, operations are not super now
expensive. Especially if you need to remove the standard
defects, for example, if you need to correct your eyes,
located on different height or remove
hare lip. Many girls work and save for
car, why don't you save up for an operation?
Or with a stable job, you can take a loan
small. So why not aim
and not save money? this is quite real.
If you really want it, then God
will help you. Yes, and when there is a goal in life and you
you do everything to achieve it, you don’t notice
absence young man, friends ... no
Of course, sometimes you want, sadness covers, but you
remember what you are going for and for what everything is you
calm down. You say if I work
day and night - I will not be able to enjoy life. BUT
are you enjoying it now? Do everything to
you liked yourself, go to work, don't
necessarily in the specialty and everything is with you
will be. And take care mama why you say that
Does she not adequately perceive reality?
You are 23, be independent and don't pull
mom. You are a girl in the full dawn of years, take
yourself in hand! Everything is still ahead! GOOD LUCK!

Yana, age: 06/21/2012

Loonie, you may not be beautiful on the outside, but
you have to be beautiful inside. Well, I would have
you pretty face, 30-40 years would pass, and
what? Nobody would love you because you
old and ugly?

Don't do good deeds hoping for something. This
you can only earn respect. Real
love is a great gift.

The main person who should love you -
it's you. If you love yourself after
plastic please.

But remember. They love not for something, but in spite of.

Don't sour ;)

Dog Ulybak;), age: 17 / 06/07/2012

If you think that you have serious problems with appearance, then you can probably spend time earning money for an operation, because. you are still not enjoying this life. Just do not make the operation an end in itself - if one day you wake up an incredible beauty, but the inner "I" remains the same, then nothing will change. The beauty will be sad, fall into melancholy, she will be insecure, and as a result, she may run into some scoundrel (and beauties are attracted to them first of all, believe me), who will trample everything in her soul. You need to raise your self-esteem, learn to see the good in life and enjoy it, and most importantly, learn to respect and love yourself. You are a person, you are important and needed, you can do a lot, why don't you love yourself so much then?
Do you help others? great, you're just great. But do not expect gratitude in return, do good with a broad gesture, but "give it to you." But sooner or later your warmth and help will pay off a hundredfold, God sees your efforts.
And stop being afraid that you will be left alone. When you are afraid, then, as luck would have it, nothing happens, it happened to me. Relax, live, enjoy life, look for a favorite, interesting job, find yourself a hobby or passion.
And also - pray, and believe the Lord will send you a family when necessary. This is how I met my husband, when I didn’t even think and didn’t look forward to it, everyone already wrote me down as an old maid.

Nika, age: 06/29/2012

And it’s not easier to go to a beauty salon, where they will pick you up and hair and makeup and your style???

Julia, age: 18 / 06/07/2012

Dear, there are no ugly women, there are only stupid thoughts in my head. Firstly Plastic surgery this is stupid. Even if you do it, you will regret it all your life. Plastic surgery is a waste of money. Secondly, learn to see only the good in yourself. If a girl is confident in her beauty, then everyone around her will be confident. young girl! Is it really necessary to oppress yourself from such an age? A little cosmetics and proper clothing and you have changed) and about the second half .. There is plenty of time to find it! Do not despair, dear! And most importantly, believe in yourself!)

Laura, age: 25 / 06/09/2012

Loonie, thanks for the feedback, is there any way to contact you? In contact for example?

The rules of the site prohibit the exchange of contacts<Модератор Валентина>

Ksenia, age: 20 / 13.06.2012

“That I will never have a family of my own, that no one will ever love me, that my friends have their own problems and they don’t give a damn about me, that I can’t find a job that I like, that in the end I will stay completely alone and no one will need me."
You have problems because of your appearance, but there are tens of thousands of people who have everything normal with their appearance, but life also does not go well. And who loves whom in this world? Here everything is temporary for everyone, including beauties and not beauties. Nobody cares at all, now is the time, now many people solve their problems at the expense of others. I don't like my job either, and tens of thousands of other people don't like it either. But they have to endure. tens of thousands of people in this world alone and also no one needs. So what? Learn to live either for yourself or help others in need. In general, I think that most do not know why they live, but they live all the same. Remember, you are not alone, there are many like you.

11, age: 40 / 06/16/2012

Girl, many beauties cannot meet their love, and there are no true friends. Having done the operation, it is not a fact that you will meet the person who will love you, and most importantly, whom YOU will love.. Every girl just needs to take care of her appearance: to be neat. make up properly, dress stylishly .. Try to find something to your liking. Doing something you like improves your mood. Try dancing, sign up for special courses. If in your appearance you do not like what you can change without spending a lot of money, and most importantly your health, then why not. I did my own otoplasty. The operation costs not so much, you can save up. Now I'm glad I did. I would also very much like the nose to be neat, and not with a hump like mine, but I understand that the operation is very expensive and it’s not a fact that they will do it well without causing damage to health. Instead of saving money for expensive operations save money for vacation. Travel! After all, perhaps it is while traveling that you will meet that one. I wish you good luck and may everything be WONDERFUL!!!

Helga, age: 18 / 03.11.2013

Depression is something that threatens everyone from time to time. Maybe this difficult period at work or relationship problems. The oppressive state may be temporary, but for 350 million people around the world it is permanent. Coping with such a state every day is especially difficult when even loved ones do not believe that depression is real and potentially dangerous disease. People around you are advised to cheer up and not think too much about problems. Depression is difficult to describe in detail, but there is common features diseases seen in most patients. If you have many of the symptoms, you may need specialist help.

Changes in sleep patterns

People with depression usually sleep either too much or too little. You may notice that you have started tossing and turning all night long, or that you simply do not have the strength in the evenings or early mornings. Depression breaks circadian rhythms organisms that are responsible for waking up and falling asleep. Lack of sleep greatly reduces the quality of life. People with insomnia are at an increased risk of developing depression. If you have lost sleep or constantly want to sleep, think about what could be the reason for this condition.

Chronic fatigue

depression suppresses natural production the body of serotonin - a substance that provides an upbeat, satisfied mood. When there is less serotonin, there is less epinephrine, which provides the body with energy. Even if you sleep well and eat enough, depression makes you feel constant fatigue and lethargy. As a result, you cannot cheer up, which spoils your mood even more, and the condition only worsens and worsens.

Problems with concentration and short-term memory

Depression affects not only the level of energy, but also the ability to concentrate and pay attention to the world around us. As a result, many people with depression feel overwhelmed by the events around them, even if they are completely everyday things. It is difficult for them to remember information, they often forget or confuse something. This only makes life with a depressed mood more difficult, leading to even more immersion in a depressive state.

Changes in eating habits

Depression can also affect eating habits. Some people begin to overeat and gain weight, while others, on the contrary, lose their appetite and stop eating. Loss of appetite causes a person to bad mood feel even worse, and this further reduces food cravings, creating a vicious circle. However, people in deep depression still gaining weight seated image life and attempts to cheer yourself up junk food. If your eating habits have changed dramatically, you should pay attention, especially if you are gaining or losing weight rapidly.

Changes in appearance

Depression can affect a person's appearance in different ways. Some people stop taking care of themselves because of depression. appearance which is why they look messy. Some people don't even have the strength to take a shower. All this greatly affects hygiene, which cannot but worsen the condition of a person.

Mood swings and irritability

Most often, depression is associated with sadness and despair, but it can often manifest itself as anger. People with depression constantly feel on edge, so the slightest irritation can piss them off, causing them to lash out at loved ones. Even if a person does not show emotions, they can accumulate and harm health. Depression accompanied by anger lasts longer than depression without it, which is why negative emotions are especially warning sign diseases.

Reckless behavior

If a depressed person feels the meaninglessness of existence, he may begin to behave rashly and put himself in danger. He just doesn't care. This can lead to health problems, excessive financial spending, or dependence on alcohol or drugs. If you suddenly notice a craving for reckless behavior behind yourself or a loved one, you should think about what is really behind such decisions. Maybe it's a depressive disorder.

Loss of interest in pleasurable activities

A common symptom of depression is a person's loss of interest in activities they previously enjoyed. A hobby is a way to get rid of stress and get satisfaction, as well as an opportunity to express yourself. Depression deprives a person of the ability to engage in hobbies. If you notice that you don’t have the strength to do what you love, you may need to consider whether this is a sign of depression.

Low self-esteem and hopelessness

It may seem obvious, but a depressed person doesn't feel very well. The feeling of low self-esteem is often exacerbated by the understanding that depression should not be given in and you just need to control yourself. A person feels guilty and a failure, it seems to him that he will never get better. If you catch yourself like this negative thoughts You may need the help of a professional to help you deal with these thoughts. Getting rid of them on your own can be very, very difficult.

Detachment

Depression makes a person feel isolated from others. He ceases to cope with social and family functions, does not communicate with people. Some people, when depressed, prefer to spend more time alone, which only exacerbates the feeling of hopelessness.

What to do if you have depression?

If you notice any of the symptoms described, seek professional help immediately. Together with a therapist, you can find a solution that will help you. If you notice this behavior in someone else, ask if you can support them and talk to your doctor about how to help someone with depression. If you notice that someone is harming themselves, seek professional help immediately by calling a doctor you know or a hotline.

For example, it may seem to me that I am too fat, short, I have an ugly jacket, my hair is too thick, my face has aged, my biceps are not big enough, etc. They can also arise if someone looks at me as an ugly person or it seems to me that someone looked at me like that. Or I am confident in myself, I consider myself handsome, and then some girl looks at me as if I were an empty place. Now the background and I think the reason for all these troubles. From the age of 14, I began to have a terrible acne and as a result developed a terrible depression. By 16-17, the depression had passed, a girl appeared, an institute, acne became less, in general, I didn’t bother, with a few exceptions, when sudden acne ruined my plans. I knew I wasn't an Apollo: 1.70, medium shoulders, not a very pretty face, small belly and a little acne, but I didn’t care at all then. He even got a job as a newspaper journalist and television correspondent. He was embarrassed to meet girls, but in the end he overcame himself and got acquainted, as a rule, without problems. Sometimes I was rejected, but again, this did not bother me. One will not give, another will give - so I reasoned. I graduated from the institute, got a job in my specialty (not a journalist). I went to clubs, met girls. For some reason, girls often rejected me because of this, apathy arose. I think consciousness worked according to this scheme: "Girls don't like me, so I'm not a man, but what's the point of doing something if I'm not a man." Apart from these minor problems, everything was fine, but a year later, acne overtook me again in a very terrible form. Doctors, medicines, grandmothers did not help. Nothing helped. Every morning started with terrible depression. Somehow the rhythm of everyday life pulled me out of it and in the middle of the day I forgot a little about my complexes. Often people who saw a guy with acne looked at me with disgust, even at work, despite the fact that I successfully coped with my duties and worked in the field of highly qualified specialists. I felt guilty for looking like this, but there was nothing I could do about it. I think my current panic attacks, if you can call them that, just from there. Those. when I went crazy because of acne, people looked askance at me because of them, it humiliated my self-esteem. This whole complex of emotions was deposited in the subconscious and now it haunts me from there, regardless of logical arguments. I don’t know how to get him out of there, unless, of course, this is the reason. So a couple of years passed. Then I found some herbalist and she helped me a lot. The skin became much cleaner, got a new girl. As a result, we broke up with her after 3 years, but this is not important here. In general, now suffer from frequent paralyzing bouts of self-doubt. To cope with them: 1. I convinced myself that these were just quirks and that I was quite an attractive m/h. Did not help. 2. I decided to take it as a fact - that I am far from handsome, so as not to worry about my appearance anymore. Did not help. 3. I convinced myself that appearance is not the main thing. Did not help. This sudden quirk, which arose spontaneously or because of someone's gaze, can devour me for hours, days, weeks, everything free time and get in the way of doing things. In general, I am a very active and addicted person, all my free time, when I don’t fall from fatigue, I do various hobbies, sports, etc. I recently decided to do stand-up, wrote funny lyrics, but because of my insecurity, I can’t go on stage ... When such a quirk arises, I can’t do anything with myself, I can’t think about anything and develop as I would like. Tell me how to get rid of this? I emphasize that, yes, I know that I am not an Apollo, but I work on my body, I try to dress stylishly, etc.; understand, what most of problems in the head. But I can’t do anything about it, and this quirk is eating my personality in the meantime.