Feeling of emptiness in the soul. Emptiness inside: everything seems to be fine, but the inner emptiness torments

Waking up in the morning with the feeling that there is no reason to get up and face a new day? From time to time, every person feels a feeling of emptiness, it is not easy to get rid of it. If this feeling is persistent, then it may be a sign of an illness that is based on depression, and if you almost always feel empty, you should seek the help of a qualified psychologist. But there are means by which you can overcome the occasional manifestations of this feeling, such as keeping a diary, learning something new and making new friends. Read on to learn more about how to deal with feelings of emptiness.

Steps

Fill your life with love

Spend time with those who love you. It could be your family or some of your closest friends. Time spent with those who truly know you and love you for who you are is a cure for feeling empty. Concentrate on building and strengthening your connections with these people. You can find meaning in just spending time with loved ones who feel good around you. Also, time spent with family and friends can relieve stress and give you more full feeling connections.

Spend less time with those people who put you down, even if they don't seem to be. If you are obligated to spend time around someone who harms your self-esteem or makes you feel helpless, then limit the time of these meetings.

Make new friends or start a romantic relationship. The pleasure of meeting someone with whom you form a mental connection, and the possibility that this relationship will grow into something unexpected, is a terrific antidote to feeling empty. New friend or a love interest can help you experience new experiences and show that you are interesting person who has something to love. Suddenly, the world may seem to you as if there is much more to it than you previously thought. Making new friendships can also help you feel a deeper sense of purpose and connection with those around you.
- Sometimes it can be difficult to make new friends and meet people, especially in mature years when you have finished school. Participation in clubs, activities in groups or spending time in your favorite haunt are great ways meet new people.
- Try to be more generous with your time and say yes when you are invited to do something. If you feel that you do not have time for a new relationship, they will not appear.
Adopt an animal. Research has shown that the presence pet can make life more fulfilling, more meaningful. Those people who have their own pets suffer less from depression and can benefit from the presence of a pet in their home for their health. If you have a pet that depends on you and your care, then this will help you see your life as more meaningful. Consider adopting a local shelter cat or dog to reduce your feelings of emptiness.

Be kinder. Doing unplanned acts of kindness can help you feel more important as your focus is on others. Look for those little things that you can use to demonstrate your kindness to other people. These acts of kindness you do will make other people feel joyful, which will help you feel meaningful.

Understand why you feel empty
1. Talk to a friend you trust about your feelings. Keeping your feelings to yourself will harm you over time. Sometimes just talking about it can belittle them or drive them away. Talk to someone who understands and cares about you, or at least with someone you trust; it can make a big difference.
  
  Start journaling and keep track of your feelings and thoughts. Keeping a journal can help you better understand your feelings of emptiness, as well as The best way relieve stress. To start journaling, choose a comfortable place and plan to spend about 20 minutes each day writing. You can start journaling by writing about your feelings or thoughts, or you can use a prompt. The following guiding questions can serve as clues:
  - When did you first notice your emptiness? How long did this feeling last? How long do you feel empty?
  - What emotions do you experience when you are in a state of inner emptiness?
  - Do you tend to feel empty certain periods time or place? What do you notice about your surroundings when you are at your most strong condition emptiness?
  - What thoughts come to you when you feel empty?
2. Watch for signs of depression. People experience depression in different ways, but low mood and feelings of emptiness or worthlessness are very common symptoms. Depression can come in waves, when you feel normal for a while, and then be in weeks or even months. bad mood, or it may be stable. Depression is very common among people: for example, in the United States, about 6.7% of adults experience severe depressive disorder. Women are 70% more likely than men to experience depression. If you think you have depression, then you are not alone in this. Seek treatment from your psychologist or psychiatrist if you experience any of the following symptoms depression:
  - Constant feeling of sadness, anxiety, or "emptiness"
  - Pessimism and hopelessness
  - Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
  - Unusual irritability or restlessness
  - Changes in mood or behavior
  - Loss of interest in things you used to love
  - Fatigue
  - Changing sleep patterns
  - Weight change
  - Thought of hurting yourself or others
  - Pain that does not respond to medication
3. Decide if addiction could be a problem. Another reason for feeling empty is certain substances. Substances such as alcohol, drugs, and prescription drug abuse can cause physical addiction from them. This can have a serious impact on your mood, thoughts and behavior. Often people use these substances to fill a "hole" in their lives. If you think that you have such a problem, then you are not alone in this: in 2012, about 7.2% of the US population suffered from alcohol addiction(AZ). Many others are addicted to mental active substances such as marijuana, stimulants like cocaine or methamphetamine, hallucinogens like LSD, drugs like heroin. If you are worried that you have such a problem, ask yourself the following questions. Per Last year you:
  
  Examine your behavior to see if you have borderline personality disorder (BPD). People suffering from BPD often report feelings of emptiness. People with borderline disorder individuals experience compulsive patterns of unstable emotions and behaviors that cause exhaustion or social disorder. People with BPD have difficulty regulating their behavior and thoughts. They are prone to reckless behavior and cannot contain their impulses. Their relationships with other people become unstable. Approximately 1.6% of US adults are diagnosed with BPD in any given year. BPD is successfully treated under professional guidance. If you are experiencing all or some of the following signs of BPD, then you should see a psychiatrist:
  - You go to great lengths to avoid rejection, whether real or imagined. You often believe that you will be abandoned or separated from your loved one. You react negatively, such as becoming extremely angry or fearful, even when you are temporarily apart (for example, your spouse is going to work). You are very afraid of being alone.
  - You alternate between idealization and a state of obsession with the people with whom you maintain relationships. People with BPD often start their relationship by putting the other person on a pedestal, seeing them as perfect or ideal. After a while, you begin to think that this person does not care enough about you or participate in your relationship. Your relationship becomes unstable.
  - Do you have an unstable sense of self. People with BPD begin to struggle with maintaining a stable sense of themselves, their identity, and self-worth.
  - You are very reckless or impulsive. This is especially true when it comes to suicide. You may do reckless things such as drunk driving, gambling, drug abuse, or risky sexual behavior.
  - You often contemplate harming yourself and attempt suicide. You may injure yourself such as cuts, scrapes, or burns. Or you may threaten to harm yourself to draw attention to yourself.
  - Do you often experience sharp drops moods. These swings occur frequently and are very pronounced, for example, from joy to despair.
  - You are constantly feeling empty. You often feel empty, or longing, or feeling like you need to do something.
  - You have trouble controlling your anger. Many things provoke your anger, and you react with outbursts, which may include bitterness, sarcasm, or verbal outbursts of emotion. Be especially angry if you think that someone is indifferent.
  - Sometimes you are paranoid, or you feel the "unreality" of the world around you.
4. Engage in meditation and explore your feelings of emptiness. Meditation can help you get in touch with your feelings of emptiness and understand them better. Studies have shown that 30 minutes of meditation a day can help change the behavior and activity of the brain. To start meditating, sit in quiet place close your eyes and concentrate on your breath. To help yourself improve your understanding of your wholeness.
  - Pay attention to how you feel this moment. Do you feel empty or missing, such as lack of value, dignity, clarity, or lack of peace or love? Accept the fact that this feeling exists.
  - Notice how empty you feel. Where in your body do you feel it? And how much space does it take up?
  - Think about your emptiness. Does it come from memories of the past? What emotions come up when you notice this emptiness?
5. Seek help from a qualified psychiatrist. Talking to your doctor about how you feel can help you understand and begin to deal with this emptiness. Your feeling of emptiness may be indicative of depression or some other underlying condition. You should definitely seek the help of a psychiatrist if you have signs of depression, substance abuse, or BPD.
Finding meaning in everyday life
1. Do something new. If you feel empty every day, then you may be stuck in a rut. What routine things and schemes can pull you down? Find a way to bring new energy into your life. Changing your daily routine, or setting aside half an hour a day for something new, can help fill that void.
  - For example, if it's frustrating to get up and go to school or work every day, consider how you can make the process more interesting. Find yourself a new extracurricular activity to re-energize the thought of school, or start working for voluntary in a new project at work.
  - Try something that is a little outside of your comfort zone. Improvement in new area give you something to think about and help build self-confidence.
  - Even small changes can make a big difference. Try a dish from a cuisine you don't know, ride your bike to work instead of driving, or start doing yoga in the morning before school.
  - A change in your personal space can also help. Replace your gray curtains in the bedroom with something brighter, paint the walls a different color, clean up and bring creativity to the decor.
2. Follow the goals and interests that are important to you. To feel the meaning of life, you should work towards achieving those goals and interests that mean a lot to you. Don't let others control what goals you set and what interests you choose. If you're trying to achieve something that doesn't really interest you, then you may need to readjust your aspirations to make sure you've chosen the right path.
  - If you're studying, consider whether you're studying what you want to study, or if it was just your parents' choice.
  - Other types of external pressure can also exert negative effect on the decisions we make. Decide if you're doing what you want to do or if it's just to look more impressive to others.
  - If you find that there are forces or people preventing you from living independently, take steps to change the situation. As you gain more control over your circumstances, you may find that feeling of emptiness subsides.

In Western culture, the expression "inner emptiness" is used to denote a state close to: lack of meaning in life, a feeling of an acute lack of something inexplicable, a loss and a sense of self-worth. Probably, everyone is familiar with the sensations that we define as inner emptiness, and everyone knows that this emptiness wants to be filled with something as soon as possible, to get rid of it. At the same time, in Eastern cultures - Buddhism, Hinduism, etc. - the inner emptiness is. Having reached the state of emptiness, one attains enlightenment. This paradox interested me very much, and I decided to consider the inner emptiness from different points of view.

Inner Emptiness and Meditation

When a person meditates, he achieves a complete cessation of the flow of thoughts. When these thoughts are absent, nothing defines a person, he is freed from the shackles of his physical body, mind and outlook. This can be defined as complete freedom or emptiness, while no one at the time feels that his existence is meaningless, on the contrary, we feel unity with the Universe, we are this Universe. All practices aimed at comprehending one's inner emptiness do not aim to drive a person into depression. On the contrary, having known his emptiness, a person learns that emptiness and fullness are one and the same. Only in a state of such inner emptiness can one feel all the greatness of the human essence, divine forces and the world in which we live.

Inner emptiness and intuition

Feeling the inner emptiness, we strive to fill it, often without understanding, but what, in fact, needs to be filled? With the usual "antidepressants" on hand - food, alcohol, parties, movies and TV shows - we easily learned to get rid of discomfort emptiness. But, since these measures are only temporary, the feeling will become stronger and return more often if you do not find out the true cause of the void and do not fill it. In this case, I suggest using emptiness as an intuitive knowledge - an inner voice tells you that something is missing, and your task is to tune in to the wave of this voice and understand what exactly you are missing.

You can do a little meditation to find out the causes of inner emptiness. Just do, stop the flow of thoughts and concentrate on the feeling of emptiness. Ask the question: “What do you want to say, emptiness? What am I missing? What is the purpose of your presence?" Now, in the complete silence of your consciousness, you will hear the answer. You may have to wait or ask clarifying questions about the situation. Be sure to write down all the thoughts that came to your mind upon exiting the meditation, even if they seemed chaotic - in the future you can work with them.

Perhaps, even without meditation, you understand why you feel emptiness, but you are afraid to admit it to yourself. , self-dislike, are the most common causes of this feeling. You can read about how to deal with them on this site.

Emptiness as a resource

If you do not wander thoughts and feelings in the past or future, the "bad" inner emptiness will not overtake you. Feeling unity with nature and people, feeling like a part of the boundless Universe, a person feels a “good” emptiness, and this is possible only if you are here and now. Such emptiness can become an inexhaustible resource because it brings understanding limitless possibilities that opens up the world to us. Do not fight with inner emptiness, turn it into a source of motivation. For example, you may decide to fill yourself with only positive experiences, useful knowledge and enjoyable.

I don’t even know where to start and whether to apply at all? The problems are petty, but for several years they have been oppressing me! I have a solid emptiness inside...

I'll start from the very beginning. I grew up with a very strict father, but my mother is my girlfriend. She was a good girl, she studied well, she achieved everything herself, a step to the right, a step to the left, execution. It didn’t work out with the guys, until the age of 17, 3 looked after them, but I really didn’t like them, and whoever liked them didn’t pay attention to me. Then there was an institute, where she met her now husband, at first she spun without feelings, and so if only with someone, the thread, but then she fell in love, got married. I graduated from the institute, found a decent job, gave birth to a son, bought an apartment, a car, we are going to take 2 for me.

And everything seems to be fine, many strive for such a life, but I have some emptiness inside. I understand that at the age of 25 I have already achieved everything I dreamed of, but there is neither joy nor satisfaction! And while on maternity leave, I started to go crazy, it all seems that my husband is cheating on me! With a child, I repeat the behavior of my father, which is especially infuriating! I scream, I break down, sometimes I even slap, for which I reproach myself later. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, how to deal especially with jealousy and the relationship with the child. I love them so much and I'm afraid to lose them! Husband because of his eternal suspicions and checks, intimidate the child with his cries! Either I'm snickering, I'm mad with fat ... What's wrong with me?

Best regards, Elvira

psychologist Irina answers the question "Emptiness inside: everything seems to be fine, but the inner emptiness torments"

"She looks through the veil she has woven
Through the threads of my everyday life,
Raising the rafters and clinging to them,
Trying to reach paradise.

But the nets are too tight
They won't let her go
And she gets confused
And falls... somewhere... on the mortal earth.

(From the book of I. Polster "Inhabited Man").

Your "I" was formed in conditions of strict upbringing. Under the fear of being shot, a person develops the necessary survival skills - in your case, it is to be a good girl, obediently fulfilling the requirements of the family and society. As a child, this meant studying well. As you grow older - an institute, a decent job, a family, a child, an apartment, a car, another car ... A decent life in general ... The very word "decent" suggests that a person is primarily focused on external social stereotypes .

Lack of joy and satisfaction is the result of losing touch with your inner world, true needs. The emptiness inside is found just where there should be a feeling of oneself, one's feelings, desires. Once this process was suppressed - it was dangerous to want something of one's own, it might not coincide with the goals set by the parents. Often people of this type do not know the answer to the question - “What do you want now?” They can even answer: “What do you need to want now?”.

Own experiences are devalued in the usual way since childhood (a petty problem), where indecent emotions and feelings get out of control, a feeling of guilt and shame appears (I am mad with fat, I snicker).

The emptiness inside does not mean that there are no feelings and desires, on the contrary, most likely there are many of them, but they are contradictory, "indecent", frightening, therefore they are blocked and inaccessible to awareness.

To get acquainted with these rejected feelings and experiences is most favorable in a therapeutic space, where an atmosphere of safety and acceptance will be provided. In the process of therapy, you will be able to regain a sense of fullness of life, satisfaction, to appropriate the authorship of your life story.

Each person has periods when melancholy and anxiety rolls in, when it becomes unbearably sad and as if something oppresses and annoys inside.

The feeling of inner peace disappears somewhere and remains only feeling of inner emptiness. Oddly enough, but it cannot appear unexpectedly and suddenly, it is superimposed for a long time and regularly, attacking you at the very moment when you absolutely do not need it.

Often a feeling of emptiness in the soul arises against the background of unresolved problems with health, family, work, cloudy weather, depression.

But if you look into this in more detail, it turns out that the factors listed above are only a consequence of such an oppressed state.

True reasons emptiness in the soul, fears, anxieties are not personal problems, but the fact that you forget about yourself as a person, put aside your desires and needs, sacrifice yourself in everyday life.

Did your life seem alien, empty and meaningless to you? Have you asked yourself the question “Am I doing everything right?”. How often do you think about the fact that just some time ago you imagined your life differently?

No matter how sad it may sound, but the feeling of inner emptiness, just like depression, is a disease. modern man.

What to do and how to decide this problem? First, you need to gather your strength and decide for yourself that you are ready to act and fight this problem. In this state you take so important decision it will be more difficult, but if you want to begin to feel a sense of inner peace and happiness again, then you need to try to convince yourself of this.

Frequent options that most people use on a subconscious level, These are 2 extremes.

The first extreme lies in numerous communication, a person tries to hide all the problems in front of him, believing that a lot of communication with people will help to do this. But, left alone with your thoughts, you will realize that the feeling of emptiness in your soul has not left you.

And the other extreme is self-isolation, loneliness, which leads to excessive and deep introspection, a lot of wrong thoughts and conclusions, and you become isolated in yourself.

Indeed, what can help you now is work on yourself and self-realization. The first step to improving your condition and position will be to increase your own self-esteem.

Understand that in order for self-esteem not to decrease, you do not need to live in discord with your desires, principles and values. Learn to love yourself, start believing in yourself and your abilities. Start appreciating yourself as a person and enjoy life.