Recent requests for help. What to do if you have been betrayed

A person close to you completely changes your worldview. And it changes remarkably quickly. You have been betrayed. Your feelings were not needed by someone who was so dear to you. From what? And the most important question is Why? You can torment yourself with the search for an answer to this question for an infinitely long time, but you need to understand that only the one who betrayed you can give you the right answer. Everything else is your guesses and conjectures.

In this regard, it is better for you to spare your nerves (they will still be useful to you) and not try to think about what guided the person close to you. He clearly had his own motives. But what's the difference to you now? If you are not ready to forgive him, then what is the point of finding out the root cause?

Betrayal is very painful for the human psyche. What is the danger here? Photo: pixabay.com

1. A serious blow to self-esteem is dealt. You may have the feeling that since you have been betrayed, it means that you are unworthy of love in principle. This is a false sensation, but it can be very difficult to get rid of.

2. Loss of trust not only in the one who betrayed, but also in people in general. All this is quite understandable. You put all your heart, all your soul into this relationship. Your feelings and intentions were absolutely pure. In response, you received betrayal. How can you trust people anymore? If a person close to you treated you in a similar way, then what about other people?

3. Depression and withdrawal. It is clear that in order to recover from this kind of situation, it will take time. But many after betrayal plunge into a protracted depression, which sooner or later can begin to destroy their personality. This also includes alcohol addiction as a way to "escape from all problems."

Recipes for protection against betrayal do not exist in principle. You should not think that if your behavior is impeccable, then you will never encounter this phenomenon. The concept of "perfection" for each person is very relative, so the risk of betrayal will always remain.

A survivor of betrayal goes through the following stages:

1. Phase of acute pain. In each case, its duration will be purely individual. At this stage, you still vaguely understand what happened to you, but you clearly realize that you have been betrayed. All the colors of life instantly fade against the background of your resentment and pain. You don't want to communicate with anyone. You are not interested in anything. You need to be with yourself and "digest" everything that happened to you.

Photo: StockSnap, pixabay.com

2. Phase of resentment. You have already realized that the phrase “acted ugly” does not in any way reflect the essence of what happened to you. You resent the one who betrayed you. For some people, the resentment phase is accompanied by feelings of hatred. Until recently, you only wished well for this person, but today you would like him to go through the same heartache as you.

3. The phase of humility. You have already fully realized and accepted the current situation. At this stage, you are able to forgive your abuser if you think that he can be given another chance. If he is not worthy of this chance, then you gradually prepare yourself for the fact that this person will be deleted from your life. Forever.

4. Phase of indifference. If you decide not to forgive your offender, then at the stage of indifference, your feelings for him will gradually cool down until they fade away completely. Your mental balance will be restored over time.

In fact, all of the above stages represent the "ideal option" caused by the betrayal of a loved one. A person with a healthy psyche is able to go through them all in 2-3 months.

Photo: Depositphotos

But this is not always the case. Often, instead of the stage of humility and indifference, a person can go to the stage of anger and depression. And he can find out of it only with the help of a qualified psychotherapist. To prevent this from happening, it is useful to remember the following:

1. Stop thinking in the subjunctive. Remember that you can't bring back the past. At the moment when you mentally rewind events and try to imagine scenarios for the development of the situation in different scenarios of your behavior, you do not save yourself from mental pain. You simply overclock your brain at full speed, forcing it to idle. You can’t even imagine how much energy goes into yours about “what would happen if I acted (a) differently?”. Being in a stressful state, your body is already experiencing a lack of energy. So is it worth throwing it away?

2. Do not fix your mind on the very fact of betrayal. This will only lead you to anger and depression. Remember that from your point of view, the behavior of a person close to you can never be called rational and logical. Therefore, the more you think about why you were treated this way and not otherwise, the more negativity and aggression will accumulate in you. And again, your energy will go into the "black hole" of your resentment.

3. Don't look for someone to blame. Do not blame yourself for everything, but do not try to put all the responsibility on a person close to you. The search for "truth" will set you back and only undermine the already shattered nervous system. The sooner you can accept this situation, the sooner you will be on the road to recovery.
Photo: lechenie-narkomanii, pixabay.com

4. Switch your attention to something else. This is easy to say and hard to do. However, remember, you probably had one or two ideas that you wanted to bring to life, but kept putting it off? Now is the time to gain new knowledge, expand your social circle, change the situation in the apartment, etc. If you decide to break off relations with your loved one, then make sure that his photographs, his things and, in general, any objects disappear from your field of vision. who constantly remind you of him. Then remove him from social networks and stop following his accounts. Agree that these are obvious things. But for some reason, many (especially women) are very fond of “poisoning their souls”, shedding tears, looking at His photo and remembering how good it was before.

The one who was able to survive the betrayal and not break down is a strong personality. The one who could not only not break down, but also learn valuable lessons for himself is a spiritually mature person.

It is not necessary to perceive betrayal as an absolute evil. Everything is relative in this complex world. The soul of a person is cleansed and exalted, passing through grief and suffering. For many, this is the only way to get better.

Take care of your loved ones!

Have you been betrayed? You left the person who was dear to you, who was your friend, whom you loved, and you no longer feel the desire for love in yourself? Very good. Just great. (You will understand why this is good and wonderful when you read the article to the end). Someday this would definitely happen. Every person, there is no exception here, because this is not a rule, but a natural component of a full-fledged and human life, and its constructive harmonious development.

Many people think that they are the only ones who are so unlucky. In vain they think so. It is generally inappropriate to talk about luck or bad luck here. And it's best to refer to it as a "viral disease of the soul." There are people who rarely get sick, but there are those who never get sick at all. The main thing to understand is that betrayal in love is normal.

Now about disorders and experiences and how to overcome them, how to cope with them.

Ask a question first. And how could it be otherwise? You were betrayed, that is, they did not justify your trust, and, of course, you went into a negative emotional state. You are human! You are not a robot. Animals and those are sad when they are abandoned by those to whom they are accustomed, to whom they are attached and who are dear to them. What to say about a person. In a person, betrayal should naturally cause very strong grief.

Human emotions are not a set of abstract concepts that can be present in a person at his will. Artificial joy or artificial grief are not emotions. Emotion is a concrete concept and necessarily has a connection with certain life circumstances in which a person finds himself. Joyful circumstances evoke positive emotions; sad circumstances cause negative emotions. And if you are a mentally healthy person, then such a circumstance as betrayal will inevitably cause you longing and grief. You will start to worry and worry a lot. You will be filled with resentment. Your soul will become unbearably painful. You will feel very sorry for yourself. You will start feeling sorry for yourself. Fall into sadness and melancholy. Apathy will consume you.

It is possible to list all the negative things that happen to a person when he is betrayed. I think what has been said is enough to understand that a person finds himself in a state where other people and love cause him, to put it mildly, doubt. A person is disappointed in people, disappointed in love and can easily say that there is no love.

The correct thing here is that love really is no more in his life. His love is gone; she left him with the man with whom she had come. Love is always two. One is when without love. And it is not surprising that suddenly being alone, a person is frightened and with his fear begins to wind up some fantasies into his mind, like those that there is no love and no one can be trusted. The reason for such delusions is precisely in fear, which was the result of a sudden loneliness. A person will cope with fear and the delusions caused by it will pass.

Now let's think about this. Is it really possible that immediately after your loved one leaves you (it doesn’t matter if he left you or this person died), you immediately, without any special emotions and worries, continue to live in peace and calmly switch in search of a new love to a new object?

- Are you going? - you exclaim joyfully and enthusiastically, looking with a loving look at the one you love, without whom you cannot imagine your existence, but whom you are rather tired of and who decided to leave you. - What happiness! I wish you all the very best, the best and…. I'm very happy for you. I hope with the one you find instead of me, you will be happy. I, with your permission, will run as soon as possible to look for another love. You understand that you can't live without love. Psychologists, philosophers, and even Wizards strongly advise a person to live in love. - And happy you run away in search of a new love.

Is that possible? This is, of course, impossible. What happened so strongly affects the peace of mind of a person that it seems to him that, along with love, they left him and him. . And, sometimes, a person no longer wants any other love, and does not feel the desire to live on. And most importantly, a person who has been betrayed in love ceases to believe in love.

It is natural that you are worried and it is natural that your life ceases to be happy, ceases to be joyful, and you, of course, are not yet up to a new love, and some time must pass in order to .... and now ATTENTION! ... in order NOT to find new forces of love in yourself, but in order to want love again . And then the question is put in a different way, namely: “What to do with yourself at this time?” Do you understand what we are talking about? This is not about how to quickly eliminate a bad mood and negative emotions, but what to do with yourself for a while until negative emotions about this disappear and what needs to be done so that these negative emotions do not become chronic?

As for the negative emotions and experiences caused by betrayal, they, as a rule, if you live correctly, pass in a year. What does right mean? That's right - this means that during this year it is necessary to continue your full life (if, of course, you had it, this very full life): work, study, mind your own business, relax, and so on, in accordance with your meaning of life and making your life as interesting as possible.

And then it all comes down to . If your life has been comprehended by you, then it will not be difficult for you to captivate yourself in work, in studies, in your business, in leisure, and so on. Another thing is if you are a senseless person. Then, of course, it will be hard for you to survive this year. Life is hard for senseless people in general, and even more so for them when they are betrayed. Do what you consider necessary for your development, but what you did NOT do when you lived with someone who betrayed you. Travel, learn foreign languages, paint pictures, learn to sing and dance, sign up for computer courses and learn how to create blogs, websites and publish newsletters, make an innovation proposal at work. And generally speaking, do not reduce everything to love , this is the wrong way. Love is a great idea, but a person, as an idea, is higher and more significant than an idea called love. .

And one more thing... Think about the fact that even if you had not been betrayed, and you had lived together for many years, even death could separate you. Your loved one or loved one could die before you. And then it would not be about betrayal, but the emotions and experiences would be the same. Unless, of course, we are talking about love. If you are now more overcome by jealousy that your love preferred another, then this was not love in your life, but only passion.

But as far as the loss of love is concerned, I would rather put the question in the following way. How to live after a loved one leaves you? This is the really right question. And the answer to it will be exactly what I gave above.

It is necessary to understand that a person is unable to overcome his negative emotions, worries and worries with the help of logical reasoning. Logic has no power over emotions. Severe psychological trauma, and the loss of love refers precisely to such types of mental trauma, need to live (live, experience) . To live (to survive), in the sense of going through one's life with these experiences. But a lot depends on how exactly these traumas are lived.

The inability to properly experience insults, losses, losses, especially when it comes to the loss of loved ones and dear people, when it comes to death, leads to the fact that a person plunges into his negative emotions and remains forever in them, that is, becomes a chronically mentally ill person.

It is very important when you are faced with the death of a person dear to you, whether it is the death of your child, parents, husband or wife, friends, and so on, to think about what to do with yourself at this time? Do you understand what we are talking about? I repeat once again that this is not about how to quickly eliminate bad mood and negative emotions, but about what to do with yourself for a while until these emotions disappear and what needs to be done so that these negative emotions do not become chronic.

I have already said above, and I will repeat it again, negative emotions and feelings from parting with loved ones, as a rule, if you don’t immerse yourself in them and don’t get hung up on them, they pass in a year. During this year, it is necessary to lead a socially active lifestyle: work, study, mind your own business, relax, and so on, in accordance with and making your life as full and varied as possible. In addition, it is necessary to eliminate everything that reminds of the loss: personal belongings, photographs, in general, everything that can somehow remind of the loss. If necessary and possible, then change the place of residence. Changing your place of residence, if you lived with someone who died, is the best way to get rid of negative memories. And there is no betrayal here.

A lot of people mistakenly believe that they should keep forever the memory of those who were dear to them and who died. This is perhaps the most important misconception. Such people do exactly the opposite of what needs to be done to remain a mentally healthy person. Such people keep all the personal belongings of the deceased, look at his photographs every day, regularly visit his burial place and mentally talk with this person constantly. Why are these people doing this? There can be any number of answers. The feeling of guilt alone is worth something when people feel guilty of something before those who died, and cannot forgive themselves for not being able to correct their mistakes during their lifetime. I do not blame these people, but I draw their attention, and the attention of other people, to the fact that by such behavior they only make everything worse. Their sacrifices, otherwise such behavior cannot be called, are in vain and do not lead to any positive result, except for frustration alone.

Betrayal is an unjustified trust, a violation of fidelity and a failure to fulfill a duty. Only a living person can betray a living person. The dead cannot be betrayed. And even if you behaved dishonestly towards a person who was close to you, whom you valued and so on, then do not try to be better towards him after he has died. All! The person has died and there is nothing to fix in your relationship with him. And even if you allowed betrayal towards him, now it does not matter. And even more so, it makes no sense to keep the so-called fidelity in relation to the deceased, if you do not feel any guilt behind you. Although ... I understand, of course, that a person is arranged in such a way that he always feels guilty when it comes to a person who has died and with whom he was well acquainted.

What else would you like to say goodbye? Don't smoke, don't drink alcohol, don't overeat. Drink coffee as little as possible. Very often these means are used to overcome negative emotions. Take care of yourself and your physical health for the person you will definitely meet. At night, you can read my article "A Long Way to Love."

The development of a person is inevitably connected with the shocks he experiences. No problems, no upheavals - no development. And the stronger the shock, the more significant the problem that arises in a person's life, the greater the opportunity for a person to rise in his development. Problems sober the mind of a person. Problems remove from the path of a person the illusions that he has piled up for himself. And the more significant the problem, the more a person sobers up, the more his consciousness clears up.

Have you been offended? Have you been treated unfairly? Have you been robbed? Have you been deceived? Have you been betrayed? Amazing! Use this as an opportunity to rise in your development much higher than you are. Nothing has such a beneficial effect on the consciousness of a person as betrayal; nothing clears the mind of a person like betrayal; especially if it's a betrayal in love. Unless only the death of a loved one can compete with betrayal in love in terms of the degree of purification and clarification of human consciousness.

I wish your loved ones health and longevity, but ... if this happens and they leave you, leaving you alone with your grief, use this for your development - this is the only correct way out of this situation. The suffering of the soul is a fire that burns everything superfluous that is in a person; but even in the suffering of the soul, it is necessary to observe the measure, otherwise a person risks becoming a chronic sufferer.

Article added: 2012-11-28

Sometimes you really want to speak out or ask for advice, but not to anyone and not from anyone. Therefore, let me give you a little advice - take a pen, a piece of paper and write on paper what is on your mind. The paper will endure everything, but the relief that you will get from this lesson is guaranteed to you :) And after re-reading what you have written, look at the current situation with different eyes and the decision will come by itself ... I am publishing an article for those who are sad. Don't be discouraged, everything will be H O R O S O!!!

Do not give up! Remember - whatever is done is done for the better! Forgive and let go! Don't hold! Everything will be alright! Be patient and learn humility! The traitor, sooner or later, realizes his act, but he is unlikely to be able to fix anything. The bad deed of this person will settle as a heavy burden on his heart and, no matter how he tries to justify himself, this burden will pull him down ... Perhaps you will find the strength to forgive the traitor, but some coldness in the relationship will still remain and you will no longer you can again trust this person with all your soul and with all your heart ...

The question may arise before you: - How to live on? How to live on without him (without her)? .. And start your life from scratch! You don't even know what you're capable of! The main thing - do not sit and do not feel sorry for yourself! No need for tears and a dull mood! Don't waste your precious time on this! Manage your time wiser - after all, there are so many prospects before you!

Today it seems to you that life is over, it is no longer life, but existence, but it is NOT SO! You are starting a new stage in your life! The Lord will arrange everything, but you should not sit idly by! Under a lying stone and water does not flow! Take action! BUT! Act smart! No need to rush from one extreme to another, or, even worse, into all serious! Not a single woman (unless, of course, she is friends with her head and is able to soberly assess the situation) has not disappeared without a man!!! And not a single decent man was left alone. But, nevertheless, it is men who betray more often.

A decent man is such a rarity these days! Sometimes it seems that they don’t exist at all, there are only egoists and whiners around! Men are much easier to succumb to the temptation of fame and money; without a twinge of conscience, they are ready to “go over the heads” of even their own people, if only to achieve their own! It is rare when a man is ready for exploits precisely for the sake of the people he loves, more often for the sake of his beloved. As harsh as it may sound, it's true! This is probably why women live longer - they have a good hardening - life - which does not spare the weak, and therefore a woman, even against her will, becomes strong, if not physically, but spiritually! And spiritual balance is much more important than physical!

There are people who, due to various congenital malformations or injuries, are physically disabled, but their spiritual world is so strong that they are able to do what is beyond the control of a healthy person. By the way, it is in this environment that REAL men exist! .. This is so, by the way! The main thing is attitude! Do not let despondency and gloomy thoughts take over you! If you give a little slack - that's it, it will be very difficult to get out of the swamp of sadness! In addition, despondency is also a sin, so do not take this sin on your soul :)

I will not describe how important sincere prayer is in the life of an Orthodox person. Every person, even an avid atheist, sooner or later turns to God. And help from HIM is always there! It’s just that sometimes this miracle seems so earthly that it’s not even called a miracle. After all, a Russian person needs clear evidence that it was God who helped him, and not Ivan Ivanovich from a neighboring house (only for some reason the fact that this same Ivan Ivanovich was sent to him by the Lord is not taken into account) ... No comments.

I want to publish in my article a few statements that I liked in the social. networks "VKontakte". Unfortunately, the authors were not indicated for some quotations, therefore, “Author unknown” will be indicated in brackets to them. They allow you to “open your eyes” and think positively.

But before that, I want you to do this:

Raise your hand (at least right, at least left) and, sharply lowering it down, say “Fuck you…. to catch butterflies!”

and start living the way your heart tells you!

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If a woman has a rolling pin in her hands, it is not a fact that there will be pies ... (Author unknown)

A strong man, in response to a female NO, will say: "I will do everything so that your NO turns into YES." The weak will shrug his shoulders: "Well, no, so no ..." (Author unknown)

If the relationship has no future, then they will last exactly as long as the woman has enough patience. (Author unknown)

What is the difference between a strong man and a weak one? When you feel bad, the strong will help. The weak will pretend that he is even worse off. (Author unknown)

If you want a man to treat you well, treat him like the last rubbish. If you treat him like a human being, he will exhaust your whole soul. (Author unknown)

When driving a nail into a person's soul, remember that even pulling it out with your apologies, you still leave a hole there. (Author unknown)

Women's logic - "It's better to say it in a good way, otherwise I'll think of it myself .... it will be worse!" (Author unknown)

Life is like riding a bicycle: if it's hard for you, then you're going up. (Author unknown)

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show her that you have a thousand reasons to smile. (Author unknown)

A woman should belong to the man who will solve all her problems, and not create new ones. (Author unknown)

Who there said that the wife is not a wall ... will move ??? The bulldozer wife ... will bury ... (Author unknown)

People may forget what you said. They may forget what you did. But they will never forget how you made them feel. (Author unknown)

Husband and wife are celebrating 35 years of marriage. Husband says:
- Do you remember, thirty-five years ago, we rented a cheap apartment, slept on a cheap sofa, watched black and white TV ... Now
we have everything - an expensive house, expensive furniture, a car and a plasma TV. But thirty-five years ago I slept with a young 21-year-old girl, and now I have to sleep with a 56-year-old woman.
The wife replies:
- Find yourself a 21-year-old to sleep in, and I will make sure that you have a cheap apartment, a cheap sofa and a black-and-white TV. (Author unknown)

Always give people a second chance and never a third. (Author unknown)

If you can't change something, change your attitude towards it (Author unknown)

A smart girl always knows when to turn on a fool. (Author unknown)

The one who needs you will come at least every day. The one who needs you, despite being busy, will find 5 minutes a day to hear you. (Author unknown)

Vital:
"By evening I feel like a magpie-white-sided. I cooked a porridge, fed the children, put it to bed, chopped firewood, applied water. Now I sit and think - Give it to me?" (Author unknown)

Old Internet tale: "My cat was accustomed to the toilet and went to him with pleasure, until, once, at a crucial moment, the lid fell on him. No, he did not stop going to the toilet, but he sat down now, exclusively with his face to lid..." (Author unknown)

Imagine that a man and a woman are separated by twenty steps ... So, you have to take your ten steps and stop. If he didn't meet you there, don't take the eleventh—then you'll have to do the twelfth, the thirteenth—and so on for the rest of your life... Everyone has to take their 10 steps... (Author unknown)

Every woman is a flower. How you care for her, so she blooms (Author unknown)

No person deserves your tears, and those who do will not make you cry. (Author unknown)

Sometimes, some individuals want to fix the crown on their heads with a shovel. (Author unknown)

The man who needs you will always find a way to be with you! Even if he is on another planet and he has no free time at all. (Author unknown)

I love listening to lies when I know the truth! (Author unknown)

I told her: "That's enough! You got me! I'm leaving you!" I leave the apartment, I hear a shot - shot myself ...? I'm coming back - Champagne opened, bitch! (Author unknown)

If you do not know how to give a girl attention, then do not be surprised when she pays attention to another. (Author unknown)

There are no ideal relationships ... There is female wisdom not to notice male stupidity. There is a man's strength to forgive women's weaknesses. (Author unknown)

A man who gave his beloved woman wings will never wear horns! (Author unknown)

I never keep anyone, because the one who loves will still remain, and the one who does not love will still leave. (Author unknown)

Dear, I'm sorry I offended you yesterday. Will two beers make amends for me? - A box of vodka! - Oh, look, damn, how vulnerable!
(Author unknown)

Loved girls are given flowers, not tears. (Author unknown)

The most difficult choice: anew or a new one? (Author unknown)

Women's eyes are the ocean... and it depends only on the man whether it will be Pacific or Arctic (Author unknown)

One beautiful and attractive girl was walking down the street, accidentally stumbled and fell, the guys standing nearby laughed very loudly. She stood up and said: it's good that there are no Men around, otherwise it would be a shame. (Author unknown)

Better to be alone than miserable with someone (Author unknown)

A strong person is not one who is doing well. This is the one who is doing well no matter what. (Author unknown)

Love is when the whole world cannot replace the beloved, but the beloved can replace the whole world. (Author unknown)

Men! Never say to a woman: "Who else needs you?" She will prove you wrong very soon and believe me, this will be the last thing she will do for you.(Author unknown)

Loyalty is such a rarity and such a value. It's not an innate feeling to be faithful. This solution.. (Author unknown)

Trust is like paper, once you remember, it will never be perfect, no matter how you level it. (Author unknown)

The worst misconception women have: "He will change"
The most common misconception in men: "She's not going anywhere." (Author unknown)

You leave - don't look back.
Look back and remember.
Remember, you'll regret it.
You'll be sorry - you'll be back.
Come back and start all over again...
(Author unknown)

For money, you can, of course, buy a charming dog, but no amount of money will make him wag his tail happily. (William Billings)

The little girl asked her brother:
- What is love?
He replied:
- This is when you steal chocolate from my briefcase every day, and I keep putting it in the same place... (Author unknown)

In words and vows, all men are the same, but their actions show the difference between them. (Author unknown)

Life breaks the strong, bringing them to their knees to prove that they can rise. She does not touch the weak, they are on their knees all their lives. (Author unknown)

No need for the labors of Hercules. No need for money, power rank. Don't make women cry. Then you will be called a man ... (Author unknown)

Which husband is better - poor or rich? If you marry a poor man, you will have nothing but your husband. And if you marry a rich man, you will have everything except your husband (Author unknown)

The worst habits are not tobacco and alcohol, but attachments ... Especially to people. They disappear - and breaking begins ... (Author unknown)

A self-respecting woman will only kneel before
one man, it will be her son, and then only to button his jacket. (Author unknown)

Everything that happens to you, accept it as good, knowing that without God nothing happens. (Author unknown)

If you feel bad, hug the cat tightly. That's all. Now it's not only bad for you, but also for the cat. (Author unknown)

If a woman is not beautiful, then she is stupid. A smart woman will not allow herself to be ugly. (coco chanel)

The more seriously you take a person, the less he begins to take you seriously ... (Author unknown)

If cats scratch your soul, do not hang your nose, the time will come and they will purr loudly with happiness! (Author unknown)

Forgiveness from a woman should be asked immediately, until she realized that she was fine without you. (Author unknown)

While you are facing your past, you are facing your future! Let's turn around! (Author unknown)

The choice is always yours! You either walk in the rain or get wet under it! (Author unknown)

Be positive! "Ugh, caterpillar!" change to "Wow, almost a butterfly!" (Author unknown)

If you have a goal - run towards it! Can't run - go! If you can't walk, crawl!.. If that doesn't work either... Then at least lie down in her direction... (Author unknown)

All men are looking for a smart, beautiful, well-groomed, stylish, luxurious, well-read, sexy, young, with her own apartment, car, fur coats, diamonds, and most importantly, faithful and disinterested. The question arises - why do you want her? (Author unknown)

Falling is part of life, getting back on your feet is living it. Being alive is a gift and being happy is your choice. (Author unknown)

We don't give people a second chance, we give ourselves a second chance. Because it's too difficult to sit down and honestly say to yourself: "Yes, I was wrong about this person." (Author unknown)

I decided that they had abandoned it ... I looked in the mirror: nope, they lost it ... (Author unknown)

When a person hurts us, then most likely he himself is deeply unhappy. Happy people don’t be rude in lines, don’t swear on public transport, don’t gossip about colleagues. Happy people in another reality. It is of no use to them. (Author unknown)

What are you doing?
- I love, I miss you, I miss you so much... I dream about you every night, I can't live without you. And you?
- I eat a cutlet ... (Author unknown)

One little boy, when asked what forgiveness is, gave a wonderful answer: "It is the fragrance that a flower gives when it is trampled on." (Author unknown)

When everything in life goes nah, then there comes a moment when you don't give a fuck! (Author unknown)

We appreciate what we have lost and love those who are not for us ... And we were waiting for a crane in the sky, giving a titmouse, a stupid refusal ... (Author unknown)

You have to be careful about your feelings... Without leaving a bad trace: you can glue a torn photo, but never a torn soul... (Author unknown)

The most thoughtless thing we can do in our lives is to put off happiness until later. (Author unknown)

For those who leave, open the door wider - ventilate the room of the soul! Believe that there are others in this world... And do not rush to return the traitors! (Author unknown)

A black cat crossing your path means that the animal is going somewhere... Keep it simple... (Author unknown)

We should not be offended by people because they did not live up to our expectations... It is our own fault that we expected more from them than we should have... (Author unknown)

Don't like something in life? Change or get used to it. The choice is yours. (Author unknown)

It happens that a man flutters his tail, spreads his feathers, sings, floods, thinks he is an overseas firebird, and you look and think: "Woodpecker." (Author unknown)

How mirrors have changed now... You look in them thoughtfully, wearily... And you seem to be the same as you were... Yes, only now, naivety is gone... (Author unknown)

It's sad that nowadays people can come up with a whole speech to justify themselves. But they cannot say a simple phrase: "I'm sorry, I was wrong." (Author unknown)

By the time the expected knocks on your door, the unpredictable has already made coffee for you. (Author unknown)

You seek happiness, but you gain experience. Sometimes you think - this is happiness! Fuck there, again experience. (Author unknown)

If a boat floating along the river of life is suddenly carried away by the current in the other direction, then it is time to rush to new shores! (Author unknown)

The one who knows how much it hurts will not betray... (Author unknown)

I remember you every Saturday when I wash the floor with your shirt. (Author unknown)

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13 years soul to soul. Plans for the coming old age (50 years), Permanent love. And one day, without quarrels, just: "I'm leaving. Get off." There was no one around, no children, no girlfriends, he was jealous, but I did not resist. She believed and worshiped. We work together. All.

Be happy and take care of yourself. Life is a boomerang

Thanks for the article, I'm a little shaken up. Great quote, made me smile :)

she did not betray me, I understand life is given once, she wants to live, live in luxury, travel. but during this time while we were together so many words and I and she threw into the wind ... I wish her happiness, I just want to let go faster , I can no longer think about her so much, constantly think about her, work and think, go and think, fall asleep and think, wake up and think ... I would leave my thoughts faster. with a sound head, I understand in any way, but I so wanted to give birth to me. sometimes even ashamed in front of me that I'm so wedged. like EVERYTHING. won't be like this for me! but I'm an adult, I know a month, 2 months or years, no matter the time will kill this feeling (but I don't want to). all health, kindness, love.

The excerpts amused me, but it didn’t get any easier .... Maybe I read something unpleasant about myself? ..

Yes, it’s true, but thanks, they shook it, the depressive disorder is already unbearable, and I don’t have a child like that. About men, it is correctly indicated that in the majority they betray, and immediately the thought of the homeland for the future of children ...

I agree, many men are infantile or selfish, or both. They try to become dependents, they think only about themselves (as if to improve their financial situation on someone else's hump), as if they found a mother for themselves, who should support, care, support and give warmth. And in return, what do they pay ... Betrayal, betrayal - sleepless nights, tears, gray hair ... Oh, this experience. I wish all women love, so that there is a real man nearby: faithful, reliable, loving! Everything will be fine !!!

It hurts so much, it's so difficult .... Three small children, no apartment, no money ... but he starts a relationship and is about to leave ... He asks for forgiveness and flies away with all his things ...

Thank you for the article! The state of depression, it's a shame that they betrayed! I know that life goes on, but the question "for what" torments? I want to quickly get rid of this state, saying, fuck you !!! So far it doesn't work. The cool article helped a little to get distracted, gain positive and gave a little confidence!

Thanks for the article, it helped me. Beloved cruelly betrayed, two weeks ago he swore in love and promised mountains of gold. And then abruptly disappeared without paying the rent. I found out from his relatives that he lives with his ex and changed phones, it turns out that he remembered from me :-) she cried, she couldn’t eat and sleep, but today I suddenly realized that I don’t need him, betrayed me more than once and brought me back himself . When he appears again, I will simply explain to him that it has become easier for me without him and there is no return to the past.

I got married without love. Tried. She gave birth to 2 daughters and 2 sons. Husband cheating. They lived on. Was looking for another. Divorced. Live alone. But the children do not forgive me. The father helps them financially. I lost my health and the meaning of life.

The price of any betrayal is always someone's life.

Many people like betrayal, but no one likes traitors themselves.

Whoever betrays himself does not love anyone in this world!

Most often, it is the best friends who become traitors. Probably because we trust them too much.

Betrayals are committed most often not by deliberate intent, but by weakness of character.

Cunning and betrayal testify only to a lack of dexterity.

I wanted to get out of your shadow. You understand? But when I came out of it... there was no sunlight, there was nowhere.

Betrayal, maybe someone likes it, but traitors are hated by everyone.

Secret quotes about betrayal

The traitor will tell you everything you want to hear, and then betray.

Betrayal - when those who have power see trouble and turn away.

Flying Secret Quotes About Betrayal

People tend to betray...

Men betray out of hate, women betray out of love.

Traitors betray themselves first of all.

Throw a stone at a stray dog ​​and he will never accept food from you again!

Betrayal is a blow you don't expect.

Now I know, probably, it’s enough to betray once, to lie once to what you believed in, that you loved and no longer get out of the chain of betrayal, you can no longer get out.

The traitor seems to be suffocating with a pillow, and you cannot breathe from disappointment until you give up the spirit of faith.

He who contemplates betrayal is always suspecting others.

A brave soul will not become treacherous.

Is there even one person who has never betrayed? .. Loyalty is an exclusively canine quality!

Betrayal, although very cautious at first, in the end betrays itself.

He has all the properties of a dog except for fidelity.

Time always has circumstances and a coherent logical thread so that low betrayal can be explained with high words.

The wounds of betrayal, inflicted, will not be sewn up by any person, not a single time will heal. For trust, once devalued, will never again be as naive and pure as we once were.

Instructive Secret Quotes About Betrayal

For to sacrifice the love of truth, the intellectual, fidelity, laws and methods of the spirit for the sake of any other interests, even the interests of the fatherland, is a betrayal.

Life has taught me a very important lesson: the one who once betrayed you will betray you again in difficult times.

Marrying without tying yourself in anything is a betrayal.

You can't call a traitor someone you never trusted anyway.

It is impossible to betray a person with whom nothing connects you.

You go ahead of your friends, and your friends are armed, and you just don't understand that at any moment, someone can shoot you in the back.

To give out someone else's secret is a betrayal, to give out one's own is stupidity.

Traitors are always distrustful.

The world is evil and vile. As soon as misfortune falls upon us, there will always be a friend who is ready to immediately rush to us with news of this and rummage through our hearts with his dagger, leaving us to admire his beautiful hilt.

Betraying is hard, but betraying a child is doubly hard.

If you don’t know who betrayed, look around, he is nearby.

Irresistible Secret Quotes About Betrayal

Times change. Now, for the same money, Judas kisses thirty people.

The place, circumstances, the system of symbols and signs have changed, but the smell, essence and taste of betrayal are the same throughout the planet.

The betrayer will never forgive us for his betrayal.

Betrayal is the pain of two, no matter who you are - the executioner or the victim! Maybe their pain is different, but who came up with which one is stronger?

That hand is a fatal blow that caressed us.

There are no petty betrayals.

Dangerous citizens do not break into the house. They live in it.

Smiling at us, they laugh behind our backs and betray those who blindly trust them.

Of the twelve apostles, only Judas turned out to be a traitor. But. if he were in power, he would prove that the other eleven were traitors.

A sense of conscience for the old, which corrodes the soul, pushes a person to a new betrayal!

You can't go back to traitors. It is forbidden. Bite your elbows, chew the earth, but do not return to where you were once betrayed.

He sold everyone who bought him.

How easy it is to betray, how hard it is to forgive betrayal, if it can be forgiven at all; for more and more I am convinced that the prerogative of forgiveness belongs solely to God.

If a person who has fought alongside you for many years and shared bread with you suddenly turns out to be a traitor, this is more painful than his death.

The traitors sell themselves first.

Quick Secret Quotes About Betrayal

Everyone you trust, everyone you think you can rely on, ends up betraying you. When people have their own life, they begin to lie, hide, then change and disappear. Someone for a new or personality, someone in the sad morning mist, behind a rock on the ocean.

Friendship has changed so much that it allows betrayal, does not need meetings, correspondence, heated conversations, and even allows for the presence of one friend.

Traitor... So people often call those who remain true to their ideals.

There is always a knife that you do not expect, and it is the sharpest of all.

To send people to war untrained is to betray them.

The one who left you once will leave you again. If a friend has betrayed you, do not expect him to do otherwise.

In love, the biggest crime, the biggest betrayal, is to imagine yourself with another, to dream of another.

Love does not happen without betrayal, because the one who loves betrays his parents, betrays his friends, betrays the whole world for the sake of someone alone, who, perhaps, is not worthy of this love.

Only a simpleton can keep himself clean; who is smart and multifaceted and does not want to be completely aloof from the fleeting life, he must inevitably stain his soul and become a traitor.

Today, betrayal promises many benefits, devotion has become a feat for a person.

Only the one you trust can betray.

Betrayed once, betrayed forever.

Demons don't always give themselves away. Sometimes they hide behind the faces of people you know, people you trust. Sometimes they hurt you for a long time, hurting you little by little, in small ways, until they become too many and start to choke you.

A betrayal is a violation of the oath of allegiance or duty, most often to the Motherland. Often betrayal is also called adultery, leaving a friend in trouble and apostasy from the faith. In Christianity, betrayal is considered one of the most serious sins.

When a loved one betrays you, the pain is so strong that it seems that you are already in hell. But it's not. I'll tell you what picture I saw. In your case, the picture may be different, because everyone has their own inner world.

Night. There are no stars in the sky. Winter. Penetrating cold. Steppe. Bare dry stalks of last year's grass stick out through the snow. And a wolf howl. And loneliness. And the realization that for many miles around there is no one ...

And in the soul is the image of a loved one who pulled you out of your cozy world and threw you here like an unnecessary thing. And turned his back on you. You want to shout to him: “For what?!” But a lump stuck in your throat. You know he won't hear you...

And I don't want ANYTHING! The only salvation seems to be that if you curl up in a ball, tightly wrap your arms around your knees pulled up to your chin and close your eyes tightly, you will be able to forget yourself and the pain will recede. But she doesn't back down. She turns you inside out. It seems that someone's ruthless hand has climbed into your soul and is trying to uproot it...

And also, if you have girlfriends or other close people, you hear their voices. But no matter how close, but from the outside, from another world, from where you were expelled from. And you vaguely understand how they say to you: “Spit!”, “Forget!”, “Be strong!”, But these words mean nothing to you. They have no meaning here, in this dank steppe.

What to do when it seems that there is no way out?

Take my word for it, there is a way out, and not one.

First, you can go to a psychologist. I myself have never used it, but they say it helps.

Secondly. Remember firmly: if you stay lying under the covers, swallowing snot and listening to the lamentations of your relatives, your condition can drag on for an indefinite time, and become chronic. And the worst thing is that you can lose faith in people. Burn it in your brain with a red-hot iron: if one person turned out to be a nit, this is no reason to blame all of humanity!

Now get up and go!

The first step is to surrender to the power of your pain. Howling, screaming, biting a pillow, roaring, sobbing. In general, go through an intensive course of shock therapy in full. The more actively you do this, the faster the pain will go away. OBLIGATORY: make a schedule for yourself: for example, from 8 to 9 and from 20 to 21 hours - suffering. And be kind, stick to the schedule!

If you want to gnaw on snot in the intervals between the hours specially designated for this, suffer for your health, it will not get worse. But if you want to cheat and do something else instead of suffering at the appointed time, remember: the smaller portion of suffering you experience today, the more will be left “for later”, i.e. it will expand in time.

Attention! If you feel that you can not withstand such an intensive course, set yourself a time less than an hour, but less. As much as you can stand, so as not to fall into hysterics. But in any case, suffering clearly on schedule is a must!

Soon you will notice that if at the beginning you did not have enough time for suffering, then every day you calm down faster and faster. For example, you started to suffer at eight o'clock, and at 8:30 you already began to think that it was time to make repairs in the kitchen. Don't cheat! We decided from eight to nine, which means - from eight to nine! Write down your story on paper in as much detail as possible. Grab your notes and re-read! Refresh your memory of how you were treated meanly, and continue to suffer for another half hour.

And don't try to run away from your pain, it will catch up with you. Do not hibernate, she will get you nightmares. Do not try to push her inside, she will gnaw at you from the inside. Give her free rein (but on a short leash), she will quickly get tired of bullying you on a schedule. She will quickly understand who is the mistress here and run away.

And now - the most important thing! End each suffering with the words: “Thank you, Lord!” You must say this phrase 12 times. Whether you believe in God or not doesn't matter. This is your own business. The main thing is that it works! The only condition here is that you must thank sincerely.

And for this you must understand that everything in nature is harmonious. There is nothing superfluous and there is nothing lacking. Moreover, all processes occurring in nature are aimed at evolution, that is, from simple to complex, from weak to strong, from ugly to beautiful. So what happened to you in the end should lead you to the best. You don't know yet how it will happen, but it will happen! This is the law of nature! Thank you for this.

How long should you continue doing this exercise? You yourself will feel it. Just in one moment you will understand that the pain is gone. It can be from several hours to a month or even more. Everything depends on you. By myself, I can say that if I removed the pain from the first (and last) betrayal for more than two months, now I get out of ANY stress in a maximum of a couple of hours.

When the pain is gone, burn your paper and flush it down the toilet!

And at the end of the exit from this whole vile story - forgive your offender! I understand that this is very difficult to do. Perhaps much more difficult than pain relief. But you need to do this so that nothing like this ever happens to you again.

Take action! I'm sure you will succeed.

And God forbid that this be the last betrayal in your life!

Elena Bogushevskaya