Leg gestures. Leg forward, cross leg, American figure four, legs wide apart, ankles crossed. Why do men usually sit with their legs spread apart, and women with their legs closer together?

Misunderstandings between the sexes can be avoided in many cases if you know each other's "body language". Now you have the opportunity to familiarize yourself with some features relating to the sexual behavior of women and men. This knowledge will help you in all situations where you need to communicate with the opposite sex - from the office to a romantic party.

Don't be surprised if you recognize yourself in what you read. Perhaps you will see how you yourself misunderstood the actions of the opposite sex, caused yourself to suffer and upset others. It is no secret that an incorrect understanding of male and female behavior leads to emotional conflicts and mental devastation. Now you can do something about it.

There are gender characteristics in the sexual gestures of women and men. If a man, as a rule, wants to please one specific woman, then a woman often wants to please all the men present.

There are a lot of sexual gestures. Most of them have their analogues in the animal world and were inherited from our monkey ancestors.

The following sexual gestures are typical for a woman:

• Feeling a man's gaze, he makes a movement with his hand to straighten his clothes, hairstyle, smooth his hair, or simply touch it.
• A sudden movement of the head to throw hair from the face or shoulders to the back. Even women with short hair instinctively use this gesture.
• Periodically raising the head, and then slightly tilting it to the side.
• While walking, your back is straight, your chest is forward, and your hips sway rhythmically.
• In a sitting position, slowly cross and straighten your legs.
• Stroking the calf, knee, thigh with your hand.
• Legs slightly spread, regardless of the woman’s position (standing or sitting).
• Crossed ankles.
• Slowly crossing your legs and slowly returning.
• In a sitting position, one leg is bent under you - this pose seems to say to the man: “I feel comfortable in your presence.”
• The swinging of the shoes on the tips of the toes also indicates that the woman is comfortable around this man.
• With these movements, the toe of the shoe or the tip of the knee is directed towards the person in whom she is showing interest.
• Wrist Showing - A woman interested in a potential sexual partner will periodically show him the smooth, delicate skin of her wrists.
• Expanded chest.
• An intimate look, as well as a slightly sideways look combined with a smile.
• Smiles slightly, then lowers his eyelids and looks to the side (“coquette look”).
• Slightly open mouth, wet lips.
• Quiet low voice.
• Stroking a cylindrical object (cigarettes, stem of a glass).
• If a woman really likes a man, she, as if by chance, tries to sit closer to him than to the others.
• When talking to him, he leans forward more than a man.
• Interest is indicated by eye contact when a woman sits in front of a man and looks him straight in the eyes. (can sometimes also be interpreted as hostile and aggressive behavior).
• Looking at herself in the mirror in the presence of a man: turning or looking at herself from the side, constantly spinning in front of the mirror, even if she is talking on the phone.
• Demonstrative use of lipstick in the presence of men (instinctive imitation of the reddened labia of a sexually excited woman).

Men have their own sexual gestures:

• The legs are spread wide apart, regardless of whether the man is standing or sitting. It is clearly noticeable in the subway, where men, especially young ones, often sit opposite women with their legs spread wide apart, as if demonstrating their “dominance” (showing the genital area to a female is a biological instinct in many primates).
• The gaze does not stop at the face, but glides over the woman’s entire body, “undressing” it (intimate gaze).
• Palms lie on hips.
• The thumbs are tucked into a belt (waistband) or sticking out of the pockets of a jacket, trousers, or jacket.
• He straightens his hair, tie, shirt collar, jacket lapels with his hand, and touches his throat.
• When a woman appears, she straightens her shoulders, plays with her muscles, and stretches.
• The chin moves up and down.
• Stirs drinks with his whole hand from the shoulder - as if he is kneading clay
• Walks back and forth.
• In a sitting position, the legs are extended.

Sexual gestures common to men and women are:

• Putting your thumbs in your belt or purse, or in your pockets.
• One or both hands on your hips.
• The legs are spread wider than usual.
• An extended intimate glance or a sideways glance.
• If a person's pupils dilate when looking at you, it means he likes you; if they narrow, you have no chance.
• The first eye-to-eye glance lasts no more than 4-5 seconds. after which the gaze drops lower.
• Women mainly look at the shoulders and arms, and if possible, then at the legs and buttocks. Men first evaluate the entire figure, the style of clothing and, finally, their gaze falls on the chest, then on the waist and hips.
• Increased eye contact (more than two-thirds of communication time).
• General revitalization, increased muscle tone, straightening of the body when an object of interest appears.
• When an object of interest invades an intimate area, the body does not move away.
• When future lovers feel comfortable together, they turn towards each other in such a way that the lines of their shoulders are parallel
• Copying gestures of an object of interest. he crosses his legs - she too; She leans to the left - so does he; he smoothes his hair - she repeats his gesture. At the same time, they move in a common rhythm and look into each other’s eyes.

The listed sexual gestures can be demonstrated to several potential partners at the same time, then their response signals are recorded. Often, from among possible partners, the one who makes the most reciprocal sexual gestures is chosen. The choice occurs unconsciously: you simply begin to like the more “responsive” partner more than others.

General and specific characteristics of posture and gait a person can also tell a lot to an attentive observer. Good, relaxed posture indicates high receptivity and openness, the ability to immediately use internal forces and freedom from any limitation. Stiffness or tension in the body indicates a self-protective reaction, avoidance of contact, closedness, often sensitivity, as well as an awkward attempt to be correct. Poor, sluggish posture, stooped back, reveal submissiveness, humility, servility. Postures of a conventional kind (one or two hands in pockets, hands behind the back or crossed on the chest, etc.) indicate a lack of independence and a need to quietly include oneself in the general order.

Very informative upper human body. For example, high shoulders with a slightly hunched back and retracted chin “speak” of helplessness, nervousness, chronic fear, uncertainty and timidity; shoulders falling forward indicate a feeling of weakness and depression, an inferiority complex.

Free drooping of shoulders indicates a feeling of confidence, inner freedom, control of the situation. Pulling your shoulders back means determination to act, a sense of strength, activity, enterprise, and often an overestimation of your own capabilities.

bulging rib cage observed in active people with a developed sense of self-worth and a need for social contacts, a sunken chest often indicates a certain indifference, isolation, passivity, humility and depression.

Position of legs and feet can also provide certain information about the state and psychological qualities of a person. Thus, a person standing confidently on his feet (legs spaced no more than two palm widths apart), with an even distribution of body weight, indicates that he is a strong, “balanced, calm, firm” person character, able to adapt to circumstances.A motionless, frozen posture, under strong tension, indicates poor adaptability, stubbornness, and inflexible self-affirmation.

Changeable standing pose, with a lack of tension, frequent changes of the supporting leg and position of the feet, reveals a lack of firmness and discipline, unreliability and timidity. Rocking on your toes means either preparation for active movement, or an aggressive attitude, or indicates arrogance. The “legs wide apart” stance indicates the need for self-affirmation, broad claims, inflated self-esteem and often a feeling of inferiority.

If the gait or stance is characterized by a noticeable turn of the toes outward, then this speaks of a “swaggering gait,” conceit and self-satisfaction (“stands as a peahen”). If the toes are turned inward, then this indicates a certain internal weakness, a relative lack of tension, and doubt in one’s abilities.

There are several types of gait:

• rhythmic- a relaxed form of elevated but balanced mood) is typical for walkers;
• uniform(like an army marching step) - volitional activity or striving for a goal;
• long steps- often extraversion, determination, enterprise, ease, abstract thinking;
• short, small steps- more often introversion, careful calculation, quick thinking and reaction, restraint, type of thinking, rather concrete;
• rhythmically strong (with increased hip movements)- naive-instinctive and self-confident natures, swaying shoulders | in resonance - mainly showy, narcissistic individuals;
• shuffling, "sagging"- refusal of volitional efforts and aspirations, lethargy, slowness, laziness;
• hard, angular, "stilted", "wooden"- tightness, lack of contacts, timidity, inability to express freely.
• constant lifting on tense toes- upward striving, driven by a strong need and a sense of superiority, especially intellectual.

There are several different ways to seat a person:

• closed (legs and feet closed)- fear of contact, lack of self-confidence;
• carefree-open (legs or hips wide apart)- lack of discipline, laziness, indifferent-primitive unceremoniousness;
• legs closed one behind the other- natural self-confidence, complacent mood, no readiness for activity or defense;
• sitting on the edge of a chair, with your back straight- high degree of interest in the subject of conversation;
• landing with constant readiness to jump up(for example, one foot stands completely under the seat. The other is behind it on the toe) - typical for insecure-fearful or maliciously distrustful natures.

According to D. Nyurenberg And G. Calero, people who walk quickly, waving their arms, have a clear goal and are ready to immediately implement it, and people who usually keep their hands in their pockets are most likely critical and secretive, they really like to suppress others.

Those who are in a depressed state of mind also often keep their hands in their pockets when walking, drag their feet and rarely look up or in the direction where they are going.

Thus, the nature of the relationship, as well as some personal characteristics, can be reflected in posture, sitting, gait and other posture typical for a given person.

Arrogant people lean their body back, stick out their chest and raise their head; modest people try to be inconspicuous, so they slouch, pulling their head into their shoulders, which are slightly raised. A typical sycophant tilts his entire body forward, while fixing his gaze on his interlocutor and smiling broadly, obsequiously.

Determining a person's character by his appearance is certainly not an easy task. It is always necessary to take into account that some people strive to disguise their inner content with external play. However, his typical postures still contain certain information about the individual psychological characteristics of a person’s personality and behavior.

Of interest are data on typical positions during sleep. The sleeping position is the night language of a person" - this is what an American specialist in this field called his book S. Dunkell(New York, 1978). Let us present some of the sleeping positions described in the book and their interpretation.

If a man sleeps on his side curled up and pressing a pillow with his hands to his stomach, then in life he is weak and defenseless, constantly in need of help and protection.

Dunkell figuratively calls such people “buds” who do not want to “bloom.” In his opinion, they subconsciously do not want to part with childhood, feeling the need for the patronage of a person with a strong character. They enjoy being taken care of. Indecisive and lacking self-confidence, they avoid responsibility and are equally susceptible to both good and bad influences. In fact, these are sensitive, impulsive natures who are guided in their actions more by their momentary mood than by common sense.

If the sleeper is just lying on its side, curled up only halfway and spreading your legs and arms slightly, then he is a balanced person who knows how to adapt well to the situation.

To those who sleeps on his stomach, with their arms spread out across the entire width of the bed and one leg bent, they are usually self-confident, punctual, consistent in their reasoning, love order and do not tolerate surprises; prudent, prudent. They are often accused of pedantry and lack of imagination. They like to impose their opinion, command, and lead.

Sleeping on his back one who is confident in himself in everyday life, strong, calm, feels like a leader in the environment in which he lives. Most often, spoiled children sleep this way.

Those who sleep on their backs, with their hands behind their heads, are usually sociable and cordial, aware of their shortcomings, but prefer not to think about them. These are people of bright minds, friendly to others.

They accept the world as it is - however, the latter is due to the desire not to complicate their life.

Those who sleeps on his side with his knees only slightly bent, - balanced, flexible people. They rarely enter into conflicts, are prone to reasonable compromises and adapt to various everyday conditions and situations without much difficulty. However, they lack courage, energy and persistence in achieving their goals. They are not characterized by ambition or the desire to be leaders or shine in society - they prefer to remain in the shadows, especially if this is the shadow of a person they love and respect.

Some people sleep with one or both legs hanging off the bed, as if they are about to run somewhere. These people are constantly on the run in real life. Others sleep with one leg crossed over the other, which speaks of their restless nature, unable to understand or comprehend the events happening around them. The one who wraps himself in a blanket - so that only the tip of his nose sticks out - and hides in a corner in life is shy and afraid of collisions in life. A person sleeping face down on his stomach does not like all sorts of everyday surprises, is always precise and neat, and is never late for anything. People who have bad sleep, who are not spoiled by life, and who are ready at any moment to return to reality about its adversities usually sleep in the “sphinx” position.

A very characteristic feature that allows you to form a more general impression of a person is his voice. Here are some characteristics of the human voice:

• speech speed: a lively, lively manner of speaking, a fast pace indicate the impulsiveness of the interlocutor, his self-confidence, a calm, slow manner indicates equanimity, prudence, thoroughness; noticeable fluctuations in speech rate reveal a lack of balance, uncertainty, and slight excitability;
• volume: a strong voice, as a rule, is inherent in the true strength of motives (vital force) or arrogance; a quiet, weak voice indicates restraint, modesty, tact or lack of vitality, weakness of a person; sudden changes in volume indicate emotionality and excitement;
• articulation: Clear and distinct pronunciation indicates inner discipline, a need for clarity and a lack of liveliness; vague pronunciation, as a rule, is characteristic of compliance, uncertainty, softness, and lethargy of will;
• height: falsetto (literally - “head voice”) is inherent in a person whose thinking and speech come more from the intellect, chest voice - thinking and speech are emotional, natural, not created consciously; a high, shrill voice is a sign of fear and excitement, and a low voice means peace, relaxation and dignity;
• mode and flow of speech: rhythmic speaking (even flow of words with slight periodic fluctuations) speaks of a wealth of feelings, balance, rather, a good basic mood; strictly cyclical, correct speaking means a strong awareness of what is being experienced, tension of will, discipline, pedantry, coldness of feelings; a rounded, flowing manner of speaking (typical of communication at picnics) is characteristic of people who live deeply, fully, emotionally; an angular, abrupt manner (typical of schizothymics) characterizes sober, expedient thinking.

Interests A. Stangl's observations of the characteristics of laughter:

• laughter na-a (ha-ha)- completely open, coming from the heart, facilitating and carefree.
• laughter on -e (hehe)- not very pleasant, but rather impudent and envious.
• laughter na-i (hee-hee)- both secretive and cunning, a mixture of irony and gloating.
• laughter na-o (ho-ho) sounds boastfully pandering and fundamentally mocking and protesting.
• laughter na-u (hu-hu) indicates hidden fear, timidity.

And so, let's transgress. Let's start with perhaps the most common and simple pose, gesture - "Soldier" or standing at attention.

Leg extended forward, directed at the interlocutor (Gesture of interest)

Gesture - crossed legs (protection of the “most valuable”)

Crossed feet, ankles. (Gesture - both unsure and scared)

Foot after foot (gesture - modesty, shyness)

Seated pose. Gesture - legs parallel (charm itself)

Step value (gesture - step forward, step back)

Leg as a pointer. (Gesture of interest in another person, object, person)

Many people know that the posture when arms are crossed indicates a person’s closedness and reluctance to communicate. The purpose of this position is to protect the chest and heart area. What do crossed legs mean?

It is believed that in this way a person protects his genitals. In comparison, crossed arms indicate a more negative attitude than crossed legs. But you can also draw conclusions from the lower extremities about how your interlocutor is configured. There are two main variations of the cross-legged pose - standard and lock.

Standard cross-legged pose

The standard pose is when one leg is crossed over the other, usually right over left. This is a common posture used by Europeans, Australians and New Zealanders. It can be interpreted as an expression of nervousness, defensiveness, or reserve. However, this pose is also auxiliary, which should be considered solely in context and in conjunction with other gestures. For example, people often sit in this position during lectures or when they have to spend quite a long time in an uncomfortable chair.

If a person is cold, then he will also instinctively take this position. If crossed legs are combined with crossed arms, then the person adopting this pose clearly wants to avoid conversation. It would be very foolish for a sales agent to ask a buyer sitting with his legs and arms crossed to make a decision. It will be much more useful to ask some questions to find out the reason for the negative attitude. This position is also common among women in most countries around the world. This is how they show their disapproval to their husbands or boyfriends.

American cross-legged pose - "lock"

If a person crosses his legs in this way, i.e. one leg remains on the floor, and the other half-bent lies on the other leg, which means he is competitive and negative. This position is very common in the United States, especially among men who have a strong competitive spirit. Therefore, it is very difficult to determine the mood of an American who crosses his legs in this way, but if a British person adopts this pose, then his mood becomes completely obvious.

If we are talking about sales, it would be unwise to end the presentation and ask for an order if the buyer is positioned in this position. Most likely, the agent needs to change tactics and become more open. The American pose is often adopted by women who wear trousers or jeans.

"Lock" with hands fixing the thrown leg

This posture is typical of people who have a certain point of view, which is difficult to change during the discussion. As a rule, they sit with their legs crossed and held with one or both hands. This pose indicates stubbornness. To break the resistance of such a person, it will take a non-standard approach and quite a long time.

Crossing your legs while standing

The next time you attend a meeting or reception, notice small groups of people standing with their arms and legs crossed. You will probably notice that they are much further apart than everyone else. If they are wearing jackets or suits, they will most likely find themselves buttoned up. If you talk to these people, you will find that one or all of them are new to this society. This is exactly the position that people often take when they find themselves in the company of people they don’t know well enough.

Now pay attention to another group, whose members stand without crossing their arms, with their palms open, in unbuttoned jackets, in a word, they feel completely free. They lean slightly towards each other and boldly invade the intimate areas of their interlocutors, and also allow them into their intimate area. A closer acquaintance with these people will show that they have all known each other for a long time or are even friends with each other. Interestingly, those who stand with their arms and legs crossed often maintain a completely calm expression on their faces, and the conversation between them can go quite naturally. But their posture reveals that deep down they do not feel calm and confident.

"Revelation" technique

As people begin to feel calmer in the group and get to know their interlocutors better, they gradually move from a defensive position with crossed arms and legs to a relaxed open posture. This is evidenced by instinctive movements and gestures. Research shows that the “disclosure” technique is almost the same in all countries, writes Horoscope.ru.

Defensive position or simple coldness?

Many people claim that they cross their arms and legs not because they feel insecure, but simply because they are cold. Very often such a statement is not true. There are differences between a defensive pose and a frozen person's pose.

First, if a person wants to warm his hands, he usually tucks them under his armpits, rather than placing his palms on his forearms, as in a defensive posture. Secondly, a frozen person usually wraps his arms around himself. His crossed legs are straight, they are tense and pressed tightly against one another. A more relaxed leg position indicates a defensive position.

Crossed Ankle Pose

Crossing your arms or legs indicates a negative or defensive mood in your interlocutor. The same is true for crossed ankles. If a man chooses this position, then most often he will clench his fists, put his hands on his knees, or clutch the armrests of the chair with all his might.

Women behave somewhat differently: they bring their knees together, their legs either stand straight or are slightly to the side, their hands lie parallel on their knees or one is placed on top of the other. This pose indicates a negative attitude, negative emotions, fear or nervousness. For example, most people cross their ankles during an interview, that is, they try to control their emotions.

Women who were still teenagers during the miniskirt era cross their legs and ankles for obvious reasons. This position becomes familiar to them, but others may interpret it incorrectly and be wary of them. It is very important to take into account women's fashion trends, especially their impact on leg position. You can come to final conclusions only after considering all factors.

Like protective barriers formed with the arms, crossing the legs is a sign of a person's negative or defensive attitude.

Crossing the arms over the chest was originally associated with the function of protecting the heart and chest area, while crossing the legs is an attempt to protect the genital area. Additionally, crossing your arms indicates a more negative attitude than crossing your legs, and crossed arms are more conspicuous. One must be careful when interpreting this gesture in women, since in childhood they were taught to sit this way because “that’s how ladies sit.” Unfortunately, this manner can be interpreted as an attempt at defense.

There are two basic cross-legged sitting postures - the (classic) standard cross-legged position and the cross-legged figure 4 pose.

European way of crossing legs

One leg rests neatly on top of the other, usually the right on the left - this is the normal crossed leg position used by Europeans and can be used to express an agitated state, a reserved or defensive position. This, however, is one of the auxiliary gestures, which is accompanied by other negative gestures, and should not be interpreted out of context. For example, people often sit cross-legged during lectures or when sitting for long periods in uncomfortable chairs. People often use this gesture in cold weather. When crossing your legs is accompanied by crossing your arms over your chest, this means that the person has “disconnected” from the conversation. It would be foolish for a salesman to even attempt to ask a customer in this position about his decision, and should ask a few follow-up questions to ascertain his objections. This position is very popular among women all over the world, especially if they want to express their dissatisfaction with their husband or boyfriend.

Crossing legs over legs to form an angle

This way of crossing legs indicates that there is a spirit of competition and contradiction here. This style of sitting is very popular among American males who have a fighting character. Therefore, when dealing with Americans, it is difficult to determine whether they attach any meaning to this gesture or not, but with the British there is no such problem.

I recently attended a series of meetings attended by 100 managers and 500 sales people. A very controversial issue was discussed - the attitude of the corporation towards its sales agents. One of the team of agents, known to the audience for his reputation as a "ringleader", was asked to speak. As soon as he stood up to the podium, all the managers, without exception, took a defensive position. This meant that they were wary of the ideas they thought the speaker was about to make. Their fears were well founded. This traveling salesman railed against the poor quality of management in most corporations in the industry and said he believed this was leading to personnel problems. During his speech, the other traveling salesmen leaned forward, indicating strong interest. Many made appreciative gestures, but the managers steadfastly maintained a defensive posture. The speaker then changed the subject, expressing his opinion on what the relationship should be between the two parties. Immediately, as if by the movement of a conductor’s baton, the managers’ posture changed to one of argumentative opposition. It was obvious that they internally disagreed with the other side's point of view, and many later confirmed that this was exactly the case. I noticed, however, that several managers did not adopt this posture. After the meeting, I asked them why they didn't do this, and they explained that, although they also disagreed with the speaker's opinion, they could not sit cross-legged because they were obese or had arthritis.

It would be unwise for the sales agent to end the presentation and ask about the order if the buyer has adopted such a posture. He should openly address the buyer, leaning forward, palms up, and say: “I see you have some ideas about this. I would be interested in knowing your opinion.” And then lean back in his chair, indicating that it is the buyer’s turn to speak out on the issue. This gives the buyer the opportunity to express their opinion. Sometimes women, if they are wearing trousers or jeans, can sit with their legs crossed so that the bent leg resembles the number “4”.

Crossing your legs over your legs and fixing your legs with your hands

A person with a quick reaction, who is very difficult to convince in an argument, often sits with his legs crossed and his arms clasped around his legs.

This is a sign of a firm, stubborn person who requires a special approach to achieve a common language.

Crossed legs in a standing position.

The next time you're in a meeting or reception, notice a small group of people standing with their legs crossed and their arms folded. When observing, you will see that they are all standing at a much greater distance from each other than is customary and, if they are wearing a jacket or jacket, the buttons will be tightly buttoned. If you were to ask these people, you would find that either one or all of them do not know each other. This is exactly how people stand when there is a stranger among them.

Now notice another small group in which people are standing with relaxed arms, open palms, unbuttoned jackets, a relaxed expression, with one leg supported while the other leg is turned toe towards the other members of the group. All members of this group easily penetrate each other's intimate areas. Upon careful observation, it becomes clear that people in this group know each other personally or are friends. It is interesting to note that people standing with their arms and legs crossed may have a non-tense expression on their face and appear to be having an easy conversation flow, but their posture suggests that they are tense or unsure of themselves.

The next time you join a group of strangers standing in an open, friendly manner, stand in a cross-legged position with your arms folded across your chest. One by one, the rest of the group will also assume this position and will remain in it until you move away from them. Then stand back and watch as, one by one, the group members return to their original open posture.

Stages of relaxation of a tense posture

As soon as people begin to feel comfortable and close to others, they obey the unwritten law according to which the defensive posture changes to an open, relaxed one.

Stage 1. Defensive posture, arms and legs crossed.
Stage 2: The legs are no longer crossed and the feet are in a neutral position.
Stage 3. The hand on top emerges from the lock of hands, the palm flashes during the conversation, but does not return back to the lock.
Stage 4. The arms are already open, and one hand is gesturing freely, it can go to the hip or to the pocket.

Stage 5. One person puts his foot back and the other foot forward so that his toe points towards the person he is interested in.

Under the influence of alcohol, this process may occur faster, or some stages may be lost.

Protecting herself - or maybe frozen?

Many people claim that they cross their arms and legs not because they feel the need to defend themselves, but simply because they are cold. This is just an excuse, and it is interesting to note that there is a difference between a person in a defensive posture and a frozen person.

First of all, if a person wants to warm his hands, he usually pushes them under his armpit, rather than tucking them under his elbows, as is the case in a defensive posture.

Second, when a person freezes, he can wrap his arms around himself. If his legs are crossed, they will usually be straight, tense and pressed closely together, which will be different from the more relaxed position of the legs in a defensive posture.

People who have a habit of crossing their arms and legs prefer. claim that they are either cold or simply feel much more comfortable in this position. They find it difficult to admit that they are nervous, shy, or defending themselves from negative feelings.

Ankles pressed together

Crossed or folded arms and crossed legs suggest that the person is in a defensive or negative state, but the same can be expressed by keeping the ankles together. In men, tucked ankles are usually combined with tightly clenched fists resting on the knees, or hands may grip the arms of a chair. The female version is slightly different: the knees are brought together, the legs can be inclined to one side, the hands lie either parallel to each other on the knees, or one hand on top of the other.

More than a decade of experience communicating with people during business negotiations has shown that when your interlocutor clamps his ankles, it is equivalent to him “biting his lip.” With the help of this gesture, a negative attitude, unpleasant emotions, fear or anxiety are restrained. For example, a lawyer friend of mine told me that he often noticed that when giving evidence in the investigator’s office, all the people involved in the case sat with their ankles tightly pressed. He also noticed that at this moment they are ready to say something important, or are trying to control their emotional state.

When interviewing applicants for a vacant position, we noticed that most of them made this gesture at some point during the interview, from which it was clear that they were holding back their excitement. When we began to study the nature of this gesture, we found that talking about a person's internal experiences does not help relax his ankles, and, accordingly, his thoughts. But then we noticed that if the interviewer walked up to the visitor's table and sat next to him without the table separating them, his legs immediately relaxed and the conversation took on a frank, more personal tone.

We recently advised a firm on how to effectively use the telephone to communicate with clients. We happened to be talking with a young man whose job was to call customers who had not paid their bills. We watched him work and, although his voice sounded relaxed, we noticed that his ankles were pressed tightly together. I asked, "Do you like this job?" He replied: “Oh yes, this is a wonderful job.” What was said, however, did not correspond to his non-verbal signals, although he spoke very convincingly. "Are you sure?" - I asked again. After a short pause, he relaxed his legs, turned to me, and, opening his palms, said: “In fact, she drives me crazy!” He further told me that during conversations, some clients were rude to him, and he had to control his emotions so that his condition would not be transmitted to other clients. It is interesting to note that those sales agents who do not like talking on the phone sit in a posture. with clenched ankles.

Noted negotiation researchers Nirenberg and Calero found that when one participant pinched his ankles during a negotiation, it meant that he was “squeezing” a price concession. They found that by using negotiation techniques, they could influence their partner to open their ankles and make a concession.

Some people claim that they have a habit of sitting with their ankles tucked in (or in any of the arms and legs crossed positions) because it makes them feel comfortable. If you are one of these people, notice that your arms and legs will feel comfortable when you adopt a defensive, negative, or reserved posture. Considering that a negative gesture can intensify and prolong negative emotions, and that other people may perceive you to be negative, I would encourage you to learn to use positive and open gestures to strengthen your self-confidence and improve your relationships with others.

Women who were teenagers in the miniskirt era and wore a miniskirt would squeeze their legs and ankles for obvious reasons. Due to this habit, many women still sit in this position, which can be misinterpreted by others as being wary of them. Therefore, before jumping to any conclusions, it is important to consider women's fashion trends, particularly how they affect the position of a woman's legs.

Fixing the foot of one leg on the shin of the other

This gesture is used almost exclusively by women. The foot of one leg is wrapped around the other leg to strengthen the defensive position. And when this gesture appears, you can be sure that the woman internally shrank and retreated into herself, like a turtle under its shell. A gentle, friendly and warm approach is required if you hope to open this clamp. This behavior is typical of shy and modest women. I remember a case where a young insurance agent was trying to arrange insurance for a young married couple. This attempt was unsuccessful, and he could not understand why it failed: he seemed to follow all the rules of selling. I pointed out to him that he had not noticed how the woman had been sitting with her leg tightly wrapped around her leg throughout the entire conversation. If the insurance agent had paid attention to this gesture, he could have interested her in the benefits of such insurance and achieved better results.