To return the former, you do not need to beg him: it is better to make him ask you to return. Husband begged me to come back, cried Fears and psychological immaturity

Hello friends! In this article, I want to tell you about how to get your ex-husband back without resorting to violence) Ie. your loved one will ask you to return to him. Do you want to know how?

Of course you do! So...

He slammed the door and went on a free voyage, leaving you with nothing? Bitter and hard, but do not think that life ends there.

How to behave in order to return the sweetheart?

Let's talk about the reasons for the divorce, about your desire to return it, sort out the mistakes and consider tips for restoring the relationship.

Each of us gets used to his chosen one.

Now you are free. It seems that there is no need to defend one's innocence, there is no need to collect dirty socks around the house and drag responsibility for two - but the soul is empty as ever.

Or another situation: you were afraid of every quarrel and now you wake up lonely. You howl from longing, go to fortune-tellers, call him and spy on his page on the social network. Even if he often beat you up or, even worse, slowly destroyed your self-esteem.

In the first case, you are kept by the habit of the previous arrangement of life. You remember the old moments, which, if not ideal, then certainly stable. Are you scared to start over from scratch?

In the second option, you should think about whether your feelings are a love addiction? This state can be understood as love, but it is not fully.

In this case, you need to visit a good psychologist to understand yourself.

Children are a separate story. It is difficult to let go of even an unloved person if there is a child.

Should I keep the past?

Indeed, is it necessary to return the husband? Are there significant reasons for this?

Remember the reasons for your disagreements

1. Maybe the roads parted a long time ago, and the gap was the only acceptable option?
2. Or between you now and then aggression broke out?
3. Your option (reason) for divorce

Don't try to answer this question right now. Give yourself time to weigh the pros and cons, so as not to be led by impulses that can be fatal.

To begin with, you must understand that sadness and loneliness are completely normal feelings during loss. Do not give up these states, but also allow yourself to doubt the expediency of reconnecting.

So. Your action plan.

How to get your loved one back after a divorce?

If you have made a final decision, listen to the recommendations below.

• Understand yourself

First, take a calm look at your marriage. Evaluate all the events thoughtfully, without offense and accusations: you need to find the exact reason for the breakup.

To do this, remember what specifically annoyed your husband, try to patch up annoying gaps. So you will learn to bypass painful questions or completely reduce them to nothing.

As a final touch, evaluate how much you are willing to change for the sake of reuniting with a young man. If this requires the abandonment of desires, aspirations and worldview - perhaps he is just a stranger.

• If the initiative is yours

What to do if you are not thrown, but yourself? Try to bring the faithful to the conversation. Just don't try to do it intrusively - it's better to make an appointment on neutral territory, where you can dot the i's.

Moreover, wait at least a week for his resentment to dull. He's probably thinking about how he'll fight you back.

The conversation should be calm and unobtrusive. Remember that pushiness is an unspoken sense of possessiveness that will play a bad joke on you.

Listen to him, do not interrupt and do not try to prove your case. Accept his point of view, then express yours in a benevolent tone. It is possible that you will be able to forgive each other and start over.

• With a mistress

Perhaps this is the most difficult situation for an abandoned wife - if he already has another. First things first, no matter how it hurts, recognize his right to freedom. As well as your own: let's know that you are not going to become an alternate airfield.

The best place to start is with a conversation. Let your ex-husband know that you only want to find out the negative aspects of marriage to the end. I hope you know that blackmail and pleading will only drive you apart.

The new passion cannot be criticized. You should not straightforwardly take the former away from his mistress.

It is best to pretend that you calmly accept this fact, and in general the world has not converged on it like a wedge. At the same time, do not pretend to be her role: hint at a noble, friendly relationship.

Invite him to joint events: walks with children, spending time with relatives, etc. Such a warm and neutral attitude will make him think about the correctness of his act.

But don't forget yourself! A man is not the meaning of your life. In your free time, do a hobby, surround yourself with fans and emphasize in every possible way.

• Lack of feelings

You don't have to wait for him to leave. Even if he does not want you as a woman, this is a wake-up call.

Unfortunately, one thing can be said here: you cannot return feelings by force. Especially if the young man got married and left for another family.

It is necessary to bring the husband to a frank conversation. Having understood each other, disperse without unnecessary complaints and insults.

Sometimes it takes time to understand love. Give it to your lover. And take care of yourself: become the one he once proposed to.

He will ask you to come back

I am sure that this course can significantly help in your business. And, most likely, the former himself will come running to your house.

Conclusion

Human relationships are complex and multifaceted. We forget how dear to each other, and then we think how to return love.

It is not too late to meet your loved one in order to restore relations. Or at least understand the thoughts of those with whom they shared life and feelings, let go without hatred and empty hope.

Maybe start over from scratch. But this is a completely different story, and in order not to miss it, subscribe to new blog articles. A little lower there are social buttons. networks and for someone (including me) it will be very useful if you click on them. Thank you)

Love and take care of each other!

Always with you, Sasha Bogdanova

They ask you - someone cannot "get through" to you. There may be problems with loved ones or children.

Dream Interpretation - Husband, man

A woman to see in a dream that her husband, lover or close friend got married is a prediction that parting and loneliness will soon await her.

If you dream that you are looking for your husband, but he is not there, or you call him, and he turned his back on you and does not respond, or that he left you, then your relationship is ruined. Mutual understanding and tender affection have been lost between you. And if you have a hard time, then your husband will not support you.

Seeing him in a dream painfully pale, unlike himself, means that troubles await you, due to which you will lose peace and sleep.

Seeing your husband handsome (no frills) and pleasant in a dream is a sign of joy and pleasant troubles.

A dream in which you saw that your husband is infatuated with another lady tells you that you should pay more attention to him in order to make your life together more attractive and interesting, since at present your husband is dissatisfied with his life with you.

To quarrel and swear, to fight with him in a dream is a dream on the contrary, which portends joyful events and peace in the house.

Seeing your husband killed in a dream means that you yourself can create a situation in the family, followed by a divorce.

A man doing women's work in a dream is a sign of trouble, loss, stagnation in business.

Sometimes such a dream predicts death from an accident for the sleeper. To see a man with a white beard in a dream means that you should take care of your health.

Seeing a dead man on the street in a dream is a sign that you can find a new source of enrichment. Sometimes such a dream means that your anxieties and troubles will end soon.

Seeing your husband dead in a dream is a sign of loss and great misfortune.

To see many men in a dream is a sign that you will not find a place for yourself. If a woman dreams of a young man of a pleasant appearance and speaks to her, then soon a change in her personal life awaits her. Remember the words of this person and how he looks. If your impression of him in a dream is pleasant, then there will be such changes. And vice versa.

To see a freak in a dream and get scared is a sign of anxiety, trouble and grief. Sometimes such a dream means that a loved one will betray or deceive you.

See interpretation: beard, freak, stranger, dead man.

Hello! My name is Elena and I am 26 years old. My husband's name is Arthur, he is 28 years old. We started dating when I was 17 years old. I married him at 19 and had a son at 21. Relationships were average. There were quarrels and mutual understanding. But with the advent of the child, because. I didn't work anymore and I started having financial problems. The husband did not earn much and spent it often money on your clothes. We didn’t have enough for food, scandals began that lasted for 2.5 years. During this time, I had 2 abortions from my husband, because. I understood that there would be nothing to feed or clothe the kids. Terribly scary and painful, but I did. Although the husband asked to leave the children, he continued to spend money only for yourself. I began to correspond often with someone in ICQ .. Day and night (at night we slept on different beds) I was closer to the child. I began to suspect that he had a mistress, but he denied it. And then one winter, when there was no money, he again spent everything on himself, I said that we were getting a divorce, he begged for forgiveness and said that everything would be fine. I believed, but already in May he sent me an SMS, saying I'm sorry, you deserve better, but I love another. I was shocked. but did not scold him. Called to the kitchen and just spoke. Explained that they were both wrong. But you have to think about family, about the child. Every day I came up with something new, then a candlelit dinner, then a bathroom with a massage. She did everything so that he was with us ... But already in June he packed his things and moved in with her. She was 17 years old. As I found out, he met her in the winter exactly when I asked for a divorce ... She did everything to make me look like a fool in his eyes. He came to us often, cried, said that he was in pain, that he wanted to be with us. We are the most dear to him, but she is not. I meet a young man and, so that my husband, probably even out of spite, I begin to meet him. The husband immediately begins to come every day and be jealous. He said that he would return at the same time, he did not make a single attempt, he only spoke. As a result, I broke up with that young man. In my heart I hope that my husband will now return. But in the end, in February, we officially divorced. But I loved him and still hoped .. And already in May of the next year, my husband decides to leave his girlfriend and returns to family. We go together to rest to his parents. sex we don't have it there. He hardly looks at me, walks with friends, and I am alone with my son. I worried, cried and did not know what to do. As a result, I return home with the child, and my husband makes documents at home. And then it began .. He needed money, I sent. She helped in every way she could, but instead of thanking him, he only yelled at me, as he later said, nerves .. And I could neither work nor sleep. I just tried to help him. At this moment, I have a man at work who listens to me and gives advice. He gives me money for my husband .. I see that he has sympathy for me. Yes, and I have to him. And when I sent the last time money He did not say anything to my husband in response, but only shouted very strongly. And a couple of days later he called with the words that I would come soon, I replied that you could come, but not to us. And he did just that, came and reconciled with his girlfriend. I began to communicate more and more with the young man .. I became attached to him, as he did to me. My husband started calling once every two weeks. He leaves to live in St. Petersburg and writes or calls from there all the same once every two weeks. I started dating a man from work. In him I saw a real man, support and support. My husband came to me and begged him to forgive and give me one night .. We had it, after which I became pregnant again. I called him and said that she was pregnant, he replied that it was not mine. I had an abortion. Before the abortion, he began to call and ask to leave the baby, but he did not offer to live together, but said that if I did not want to raise him, I would give the child to him. I was shocked .. Gaining courage, I told my young man about the betrayal and waited for him to leave immediately. But he hugged me and kissed me tenderly. I said about the abortion, he was very upset. He went with me to the clinic, gave me money ... And then I realized what kind of little man was next to me. Who, in difficult times, was there, and did not run away.
We understand each other perfectly, BUT he has a family. I do not ask him to always be there, I do not ask him to leave families, because I went through it myself, it's terrible that I became a mistress, but I have never experienced what I feel with him before. With him it is easy, calm, fun. He says there is no relationship at home. Live for a child. We work together every day we come to work together. We take my child to kindergarten. He comes to me often, but does not stay overnight. I still think it's not all that bad. This has been going on for a year... And then my husband appears. He broke up with his girlfriend already 2 months ago and with tears in his eyes asked for forgiveness. He says that he realized what a mistake he made. That cannot live without us. That he wants to marry and marry me. That I should give him another chance. But I no longer have those feelings for him. It just remains that he is the father of my child. I have already become attached to another, but that one is not mine, he has a family. And I don't know how to be. My husband made an offer and is waiting for an answer in the near future.. I'm confused... Help me please.

Hello, Elena! You had a rather difficult choice in life and you went through a lot - all this time in marriage and after you hoped and expected that your husband would understand you, accept and love you as you would like - but life can turn out differently - You lived with your husband, you got to know him from different sides, he betrayed and left, disrespected and neglected you, your relationship was tangled and built on some kind of game - on revenge - which ultimately led to the loss of several lives (you lost your children) , which no one will return - you already know what kind of person was next to you, who values ​​​​only his feelings more, but not yours and not a child who prefers to run away from problems, and not solve them (and even now, having parted with his as a girl, he again does not solve problems in himself, but returns to where he knows that they can accept - i.e. he shifted all the responsibility on you) - you just have to understand yourself and understand - do you want to be with that person? for what? What will those relationships give, and what will they take away?

of course, relations with a married person are not stable and also, in principle, irresponsible in relation to you and your child - after all, you are still alone!

You now have a choice between two extremes - and think - is it worth doing them? what will you gain? maybe you should stop and just understand yourself (and also try to understand - maybe in that person from work - you found what you were looking for in your husband, but you didn’t get it - but this is also not a reason to choose - you choose a man, not what you received attitude!)

Elena, if you decide to understand yourself - you can safely contact me - call - I will be glad to see you and help you!

Hello, Elena! Building relationships is serious work and the contribution of both. And first of all, you need to decide what you actually expect from your ex-husband and want??? What can he really give you - pleasant for you? What commitments can you make to each other? How is he going to dispose of your joint family(if you accept it) - the financial side? And so on. And it is desirable to write it all down on paper, so that in a couple of days you can re-read and confirm the correctness of what was written, or rewrite some points. And then, all the points concerning families, and also, they registered and signed in writing so that there was responsibility - this is on the one hand; and on the other hand, there is a correspondence between what is written and what is done!!! Changing himself and changing his attitude towards himself, towards the situation and towards his man, he is forced to start changing in any way, just like the situation as a whole. Only here it is important not to go from one extreme to another, but to be flexible and labile! That is, if you sent him earlier money, then now you don’t need to demand millions from him, but gradually, start with what he brings home money, say how much, and so that it is done (and of course, do not try to continue to support him financially!). It is necessary that you determine your values ​​for yourself and how much they coincide with it, since there is such an expression that if partners have common values, then they will live together. Talk about it with your friend at work, that he will tell you, as a man, how you should behave with an ex-husband who asks to return ... It can also be interesting ... And remember that you are not responsible for what other people do, say, feel, but for their own behavior, decision, their actions, actions, feelings, and also, for their own reactions to what is happening. Start treating yourself with care and love; take care of your son and build your own family with a person who is ready to make commitments, show care, respect and share with you a pleasant intimacy for both of you! All the best. Sincerely, Ludmila K.

Hello, Elena.

Unfortunately, only you can make this decision. But let's try to put everything in its place.

Your experience shows that your ex-husband does not keep his word.

You don't love him.

What is this marriage for? To "poor, but mine"? Is this what you deserve? Is that how you value yourself? The child needs, first of all, a happy a family even if not complete. If your ex-husband wants to communicate with his son, this is his right. But your life is yours, it is the only one. Imagine yourself in a year that all these events have already passed. You broke up with your loved one and married your husband again - and think about what you regret and what you don’t. And then imagine the situation the other way around - they refused their husband, stayed with their loved one, etc.

But you are 26 years old! You still have your whole life ahead of you. You can meet more than one worthy man.

The current relationship is giving you joy, lightness, fun. Are you ready to give them up easily?

If you find it difficult to answer these questions yourself, I will be glad to help you figure it out.

Sincerely,

Elena, most likely your husband is an immature person trying to return romance, it was not in vain that he found a 17-year-old girl (the age of meeting you), he does not take responsibility for family, or rather, you don’t give him (and you kill the children yourself, and provide him financially) ...

He is the second (rather the first) child for you, perhaps that is why you do not want more children - you would "grow" these. Abortion is the end of a relationship (you have three of them). You can enter into a new relationship with your husband, but for this it is important to do the most powerful work on mistakes, otherwise ... everything will go in a circle.

Your father took part in your upbringing, how the relationship between mom and dad developed and other issues ... From somewhere there is a scenario of relationships with men. Come, if you decide, I will help you figure out where the "legs grow" from the situation.