How many days to wear a black headscarf after the funeral? Grail Funeral Home

Sooner or later, everyone is faced with the loss of loved ones. How to properly organize the ceremony of farewell to the deceased, what rules must be followed, how to behave during the period of mourning and how long it lasts - these questions arise before many people who are faced with death.

Mourning is a spiritual grief for a deceased person, which has an external manifestation and requires the observance of certain rules of behavior. During the mourning period, the mourner refuses to attend entertainment and entertainment events, wears clothes of a certain color, and observes some restrictions in everyday life. Each religion has its own rules and rituals that should be followed during mourning for the deceased. These features must be taken into account, since neglect can become offensive to the relatives and friends of the deceased.

Mourning in world religions

• orthodoxy- in most cases, it lasts from 40 days to a year, the mourner himself determines the duration of mourning;
• Muslims- Islam does not recommend wearing mourning robes for more than 3 days, the only exception is widows who observe mourning for 4 lunar months and 10 days;
• Buddhism- depending on the degree of kinship, mourning is from 49 to 100 days.

1. Africa - mourning for the deceased is accompanied by chopping off the fingers and cutting off the hair, widows do not leave the closed premises for a month, after which they inflict deep wounds on the limbs and chest with a sharp stone.
2. Japan - the deceased is mourned for 49 days, after which it is believed that his soul leaves the world of the living.
3. Korea - relatives wear mourning for the deceased for 30 days.
4. China - the duration of mourning for deceased parents is 3 years.

How to properly mourn

Christianity highlights several important points in the commemoration of the deceased - the third, ninth and fortieth day after the burial. During this period, close relatives must observe mourning. The external manifestation of spiritual sadness for the deceased is the wearing of mourning clothes. For the Orthodox, black is considered the traditional mourning color, although in some religions it is allowed to replace it with gray or another dark shade.

Basic rules of conduct in the days of mourning:

• refusal to wear bright colors;
• bright makeup, catchy, festive decorations are not recommended;
• you can not attend entertainment events and entertainment venues;
• it is not recommended to drink alcoholic beverages;
• for a year after the death of a loved one, it is necessary to pray for the repose of his soul;
• A widow cannot marry for at least a year after the death of her husband.

How much to mourn

The observance of mourning in Orthodoxy lasts at least 40 days from the moment of the burial of the deceased. During this period, close relatives wear mournful clothes, women wear black scarves. It is believed that on the 40th day after death, the soul of the deceased finally leaves the world of the living and goes to the Almighty, where further purification awaits it. That is why it is extremely important to observe strict mourning for at least 40 days after the funeral.

Mourning in Orthodoxy

When answering the question of how long mourning is observed according to the Orthodox, it is imperative to take into account the degree of kinship with the deceased. For example, many clergy believe that the longest period of mourning should be observed by a widow - a year from the moment of her husband's funeral. A widower mourns for the deceased for 6 months. The same period of mourning is established in relation to brothers, sisters, grandparents. In the event of the death of an uncle or aunt, this period is reduced to 3 months.

Mourning for her husband in Orthodoxy

According to the Orthodox religion, during the first 3 days after the death of the body, the soul of the deceased is directly near the members of his family and leaves the world only for 40 days. That is why it is very important to pray every day for the forgiveness of sins for the deceased relative, and if he was a deeply religious person, be sure to order a memorial service in the church.

How to observe mourning for a father?

The Orthodox religion recommends that the children of deceased parents observe all the rules of grief for a year from the moment of burial. After this period, a person can gradually return to his usual clothes and lifestyle.

Mourning for parents in Orthodoxy

Mourning for deceased parents for children continues throughout the first year after their death. At this time, you need to regularly pray for the soul of the deceased parent, attend church, remember your father or mother only with good, kind words.

In the event of the premature death of a child, parents must also mourn for at least six months. Although the Orthodox religion knows cases when a mother or father whose only child has died observes the rules of grief throughout the rest of their lives.

Mourning for mother in Orthodoxy

Special days of commemoration of the deceased mother are 3 and 40. These days it is necessary to hold a memorial dinner, inviting only the closest relatives and friends to it, order a church service for the repose of the soul of the deceased.

Regarding how much to wear mourning for a dead mother, each person decides this issue for himself individually. If, at the end of the year from the moment of the funeral of the parent, the feeling of deep spiritual grief does not disappear, the duration of mourning can be increased.

Mourning for a deceased relative is not just about wearing black or not attending entertainment events. This is a special way of life, which consists of regular prayers for the salvation of the soul of the deceased, the distribution of alms and the performance of good deeds in memory of the deceased.

Additionally

Year? This is siiiiiiish. There are hardly any canonical prohibitions. Postpone for a month, or until Krasnaya Gorka - this comes out to about 3.5 months of waiting.

• ^59hopscotch8
• January 12, 2010
• 15:24

complex issue...

• revel
• January 12, 2010
• 16:55

We do not have such instructions. Usually mourning is up to 40 days.

• 3pickaxe
• January 12, 2010
• 17:30

Thank you all very much for your response! :)

Pavel Ivanov

"Let me remind you - 10 commandments, including parents - this is the Old Testament. And the New - Christ's: Enemies of a man are his household." To be honest, this is the first time I've heard this. Can you tell me where you can read it?

I really want to receive a parental blessing, yet I think this is important. Although it will be difficult to convince the feeling ...

especially strong disagreements often arise with my mother. To the point that you even need to see each other less often during this period and considers planning joint trips somewhere for the weekend to be fornication ... It's hard to endure all this when you live with your parents - it seems that you need to respect and honor them, but when they constantly interfere and demand obedience - break down. I would have left a long time ago, but my salary does not yet allow me to rent a separate housing, and I don’t want to cohabit either. I really want to create my own family as soon as possible, but at the same time I am afraid that if I fail to harmonize relations with my parents, then all problems can be transferred to a new life with my husband.

• 3pickaxe
• January 12, 2010
• 18:02

Pavel Ivanov

34 Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword, 35 for I came to divide a man from his father, and a daughter from her mother, and a daughter-in-law from her mother-in-law. 36 And the enemies of a man are his household.

I still do not fully understand ... how it is - the enemies of a man - his household. This is possible if they are atheists, for example ... apparently this must be understood somehow non-literally ..

Yes, I am the only daughter. But I will live in the same house with my husband's family. (in the same house, but at the same time separately). With my parents, this would not have been possible for many reasons.

• 3pickaxe
• January 12, 2010
• 18:18

But how to understand who stands between people - God or the devil?

How can relatives become an instrument of the devil, if they are, for example, church-going people? besides, normal parents only want the best for their child. I would not want that someday I become an obstacle for my future children to spiritual and personal development.

and in general, how to catch this fine line between honoring parents and at the same time following one’s own path, and not the one that relatives want to impose (often out of kindness and love)? ..

• revel
• January 12, 2010
• 20:53

And where does this information come from? Just don’t say that it’s from the Internet.) Different peoples have different etiquette!

• 3pickaxe
• January 13, 2010
• 14:54

Sergey români Khromtsov-Lupan thanks for the info) I also just found this site)

Maria Radish Sidorova. the story is of course very creepy ... even nothing to say

Alena Mereshko. Fortunately, the kitchen will be separate))

Irina Antonova thank you for your support! no, the desire, of course, has not disappeared, but I don’t want to rejoice at all in the near future ... Moreover, my mother is very worried and will probably not come to terms with the loss soon. Probably will have to be postponed for six months for sure.

Olga<Новый 2010! Уряяяяя!>Yevtushenko. my mother is a believer and of course never supported anything related to fornication. Of course, she is for abstinence, and I would like that too. To be honest, the further the harder.

The son did just that. And after 40 days he went and was baptized...

HOW TO KEEP MOURNING FOR THE DEAD. IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW!!! READ! OPEN THE WHOLE TOPIC, MY DEARS! Mourning for relatives (mourning - from German trauern "mourn" - a form of external expression of sadness or grief due to the loss of a loved one - ed.) - there is no such church tradition at all. There are local folk traditions. For example, in the Caucasus, if a mother’s son has died (and in some nations it’s even wider: a brother, a man), then a woman puts on black clothes and wears it for at least a year, and in some places all her life. There are peoples of Indonesia where, after the death of a husband or relative, the wife cuts off her finger. There you can see women with virtually no fingers. This is, of course, a wild tradition, a folk tradition that has nothing in common with Orthodoxy, with the truth of God. The Orthodox word "mourning" - no. Have you noticed how we bury? We put on black headscarves, which is completely unorthodox. Basically not orthodox. And what is done in the tradition of the church is Orthodox. We put them in a coffin in white, the priests at the funeral in white vestments, in which they serve on Easter, in Easter. And if you look at the funeral rites, then this is a fragment from the Easter service. White for Easter? - In white. With a candle in hand? - Yes. Why? “Because we Orthodox have no reason to mourn. This is where my loved one died. But, he didn't die. It is not true. The body died, the living soul continues to live. We separated. With whom? With body. But with a soul, no. Let us pray, let us pray in unity. We are separated forever! It is not true. And with the body not forever. The second coming of the Lord will be: the bodies will be resurrected - both His and mine. We will meet again. We say goodbye for a while, only for a while. Where did he go with his soul and from where? He left the place where they cry a lot, to where they never cry. Therefore, the Orthodox have no tradition of mourning. There is a tradition of intense prayer for the deceased. He died, so it is our duty to pray. And even more so at first, when a person has not yet been buried, his body lies next to us. We know what happens. It is revealed to us from the experience of the saints: at this time, demons tempt the soul of the deceased. They don't lie, demons, at ordeals they tell the truth, but only about sins. After all, you can tell the truth about every person, and it will not be true at the same time. Here I am talking about you only good or only bad. But this is not true. In fact, we have both. Demons confuse the soul of the deceased, telling the truth about sins, frightening them with the fact that although God is merciful, but just, he will tumble down in deeds. And when a person dies, his soul is in a state of fear. Therefore, there is a tradition such that when a person has died, at the tomb, at the body, they immediately read the Psalter. His soul is somewhere nearby, and the prayer goes on. This prayer does not allow demons to approach Him. Exactly. We do our duty - we pray. There is such a tradition: when a person has died, we bring him to church for a funeral service, we put an icon on the deceased; saying goodbye, kiss the image. Then this icon is placed on the funeral table for up to forty days. This is a Russian, very good tradition. Why are we doing this? And to remind yourself of prayer for the deceased. These are now paper icons, stampings, but before it was an expensive thing. At home, the icon was removed from the goddess, put to the deceased, and then put on the canon in the church as a reminder. We pray at home, but there is no icon. She is in the church. Why? Our family is gone. What will immediately be in the soul of a believer? You need to pray for him. How about going to church? Be sure to pray for him in church. I come to church - our icon. He needs my prayers especially now. After forty days, this icon was taken home. Therefore, the Orthodox have a tradition after the death of a loved one for at least forty days, an intensified prayer for the deceased to do. We cannot be in continuous tension for decades, but we must try to pray intensely for the first forty days. When they ask me, I tell everyone: “Try to be in pure prayer for the deceased for forty days, and then slowly move on to the extent that you can pray in the rhythm of your usual affairs. But, of course, we don’t forget the one who left us , we pray." And there is no special tradition of mourning in Orthodoxy. The fact that a black scarf is worn up to forty days is not an Orthodox tradition. If you put it on, then you need a white scarf, and sing "Christ is Risen", as we Orthodox do on Radonitsa. We go in white clothes to the graves and sing "Christ is Risen" on the graves. We don't mourn. Is there human pain? But how. And the fact that now we are not together, we are far away with the living. But only they are with the Lord. And we don't know where we'll be. We do not know if their souls are in heaven or hell. But we know: there is a prayer for them - we pray, there is hope. But we will die, what else, what will happen. Who will pray for us? Doubts. arch. Vladimir Golovin

THE MEANING OF MOURNING In the generally accepted sense, mourning involves the wearing of dark clothes and a ban on entertainment for a certain period of time: from several months to a year - for the closest relatives. During this time, widowers generally do not remarry. However, what is the meaning of this long external grief, and is it necessary to observe strict mourning. So, St. Theophan the Recluse especially emphasized that external mourning is superfluous, and the main thing for a dead person is our prayer and alms for him: “Cry or something else? I think to rejoice for the deceased. Glory to Thee, Lord! It will no longer toil on this boring and boring land. Maybe you need to cry for yourself? It's not worth it ... How much is left here? A day or two, and we'll go there ourselves. I have always had such an idea that it is not necessary to wear mourning for the dead, but festive dresses, and not mournful songs to sing, but to serve a grateful prayer service. Everything has been turned upside down for us. That the remains, the body of the deceased, should be given some honor, this is absolutely true. But why do we refer to this body as a living person? You have to be surprised. The Lord is all alive. And the just deceased is alive ... What a fine fellow he is, what a handsome man! What a clean and bright one! If we had a look, we would have stared... And we, having looked at his body: bluish, his eyes sunken, etc., we imagine him like that... This self-deception and tears the heart. So that the heart does not tear, it is necessary to disperse this deception ... Then a damp grave will come to mind ... gloomy ... Alas! Poor! And he is in a bright place, in a state of complete joy, free from all bonds. Charm, how good it is for him ... To complete the grief, we think: he died, he didn’t ... And he didn’t even think to stop being ... And everything is the same as it was yesterday on the eve of death, only it was worse for him, and now it’s better. Not seeing him is not a loss. It happens right there... Those who have departed are as fast-moving as thought... We Christians do not flow towards the unknown. Why, if mortal sins do not burden anyone, we undoubtedly believe that the doors of the Kingdom are open to him. If we add to this some kind of goodness and some sacrifices for the Lord's sake, then all the more doubt should not remain about the blissful fate of the departing ... ”Archpriest Alexander Ilyashenko, answering the question of how to behave after the death of a relative, emphasizes: “Our deceased relatives most of all need not the outward mourning observed by us, but our fervent prayers for them. Therefore, if the deceased was baptized, you need to order a magpie (that is, a commemoration at 40 Liturgies), serve a memorial service on the 9th and 40th days after death, pray for the repose of the soul yourself (traditionally, the Psalter is read about the newly deceased in the first 40 days, according to 1 or more kathisma daily - depending on the opportunity). If the deceased was not baptized, then you can only pray in home prayer. It is very good to do some good deeds or give alms in memory of the deceased.” Archbishop Vincent of Yekaterinburg and Verkhoturye specifically notes that in Russia the tradition of external mourning was especially strengthened in the atheistic years, when the Church’s attitude towards death was forgotten: “Death for an Orthodox Christian is a transition to another life, to eternal life - either to hell. And, of course, people to some extent grieve that their loved one has passed away. We even know that Christ the Savior Himself, seeing the death of Lazarus, shed tears. It is our human nature that we grieve. But, of course, we must mourn in moderation so as not to fall into despondency, into despair: everything is lost, there is no person. It is worth constantly in this mournful hour for us to remind ourselves that the soul has gone, and the body has remained here temporarily, until the general resurrection. And the soul went to God, and if she spent her life in piety, then we should rejoice that she got rid of suffering and torment, the difficulties of this life. It often happens that before death a person suffers and gets sick quite a lot, sometimes his strength runs out in the patience of these diseases. We rejoice that the Lord gave him the strength to carry the cross to the end, so that he could be worthy of a crown in the Kingdom of God. … Unfortunately, it also happens in another way: that he is not yet ready and you still need to pray for him; then we grieve that he is gone - we grieve that he still needs help so that the Lord forgives him his sins. We must restrain ourselves so as not to fall into despondency and despair, when we no longer know what to do, we lose control of ourselves. There is sorrow - our nature is like that; but you need to restrain it with faith that there is eternity and your loved one has gone into eternity, you need to help him, you need to pray. And in prayer for the deceased, we receive comfort in this sorrow. This is no longer mourning, but simply a serious attitude towards the future eternity. You can’t talk about mourning at all - we funeral the deceased in white clothes, we put on white clothes to show that the person has not died, but gone, and we need to pray for him. This departure for him is joyful and pleasant. In Soviet times, there was a different attitude towards death: everything is already gone, there is no other life! Indeed, for them it was mourning: for them there is no God, there is no soul, there is nothing - of course, everything is gone; therefore black clothes, despondency, despair and torment. And in our country people already understand now, they have a different attitude towards death. They understand that death is a transition: everyone is subject to it, no one can escape it, everyone living on earth, at least 100, at least 120, at least 150 years - sooner or later the moment will come when the soul will be separated from this world. Therefore, we need to prepare: we must prepare for this moment to be truly joyful for us, so that the angels will meet us and take our soul to the heavenly abodes. HOW TO WEAR MOURNING? The tradition of wearing mourning for a deceased spouse for a long time reflects the inner need of the soul. Thus, the Holy Great Martyr Elizaveta Feodorovna Romanova wore mourning for her murdered husband Grand Duke Sergei Alexandrovich for five years, and this mourning was not a tribute to the rite. All this time she fervently prayed and did works of mercy, and she changed her black robe to the white clothes of a sister of mercy: “Sergey Alexandrovich was killed by a bomb thrown by terrorist Ivan Kalyaev at the Nikolsky Gates of the Kremlin. When Elizaveta Fedorovna arrived there, a crowd of people had already gathered there. Someone tried to prevent her from approaching the site of the explosion, but when a stretcher was brought, she herself laid her husband's remains on them. Only the head and face were intact. Moreover, she picked up icons in the snow that her husband wore around his neck. The procession with the remains moved to the Chudov Monastery in the Kremlin, Elizaveta Fedorovna followed the stretcher on foot. In church, she knelt beside the stretcher by the pulpit and bowed her head. She stood on her knees throughout the memorial service, only occasionally casting a glance at the blood oozing through the tarpaulin. Then she got up and walked through the frozen crowd to the exit. In the palace, she ordered that a mourning dress be brought to her, changed clothes and began to write telegrams to her relatives, writing in an absolutely clear, clear handwriting. ... On April 22, 1910, in the church of Martha and Mary, Bishop Tryphon consecrated 17 ascetics led by the abbess as sisters of the cross of love and mercy. For the first time, the Grand Duchess took off her mourning and put on the attire of the cross sister of love and mercy. She gathered the seventeen sisters and said, "I am leaving the brilliant world where I held a brilliant position, but together with all of you I am ascending into a greater world, into the world of the poor and the suffering."

Instruction

Follow the customs of the country in which you live. When appointed mourning and at the state level, in connection with the large number of people, observe a moment of silence as a sign of respect for the dead and solidarity with the rest of the country's population in expressing condolences to their families. State will be half-mast, and entertainment TV programs cancelled.

Wear black clothes with or a friend. Deep mourning implies that all clothes on you must be black, and with the floor mourning It is not allowed to wear only one black item, such as a dress or headscarf.

Observe mourning right after . Duration mourning but it depends on the degree of closeness to you of the deceased. For example, after the death of a spouse, it is necessary to observe mourning within a year, and those who have lost a spouse must be in mourning e six months. They grieve for their parents for a year, from less than three months to six months.

Refrain from entertainment and attending holidays, marriage during mourning a. You should not arrange magnificent celebrations, have fun, sing and dance. Do not deny yourself communication. If you feel that it is hard for you, feel the need to talk about your loss, cry, then do not hesitate to express your emotions.

Pray for the deceased, fervently and with all your heart, if you are a believer. In addition to external attributes mourning Yes, this is an important condition mourning a. If the deceased was baptized, order a magpie, and on the ninth and fortieth days after his death, a memorial service should be served. Do not forget to subsequently mention the name he received during the rite of baptism in prayers for.

When thinking about the laws that must be observed in the army, cases of hazing between military personnel (simply "hazing") and desertion, replicated by the media, inevitably pop up in my head. Moreover, the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation is only the tip of the iceberg in a huge array of normative acts that should guide the everyday life of the military personnel of the Russian army.

Instruction

Start by studying Section VI of the Federal Law of March 28, 1998 No. 53-FZ “On military duty and”. It provides detailed information on the term of service of military personnel, on the procedure for taking the military oath, and, most importantly, on military ranks, which I strongly recommend learning in advance so as not to be considered a “brake” in the army who cannot quickly master elementary things.

Read the Federal Law of May 27, 1998 No. 76-FZ “On the Status of Military Personnel”. It explains your rights and obligations while serving in the military, and your responsibilities if you violate these obligations.

The process of passing military service is regulated by 3 Charters (the Charter of service on ships of the Navy still applies).
1. The Charter of the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation is a basic legal act that regulates the daily life and activities of military personnel in a military unit in order to maintain internal order and military discipline;
2. The disciplinary charter of the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation defines the concept of "military discipline", regulates the duties of military personnel for its observance, types of rewards and punishments, and also prescribes the procedure for filing applications,. In particular, after reading this charter, you will find out for what offenses you can be sent to a guardhouse;
3. The Charter of the garrison, commandant and guard services of the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation defines the purpose, organization and performance of guard, commandant and garrison services, the rights and obligations of military personnel performing these services.

Do not forget to read Chapter 33 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, especially Art. 335 “Violation of the statutory rules of relations between military personnel in the absence of subordination relations between them”, Art. 337 “Unauthorized abandonment of a unit or place of service”, and also Art. 338 “Desertion”. As shown, these are the most common offenses committed by military personnel. Therefore, the realization of what you may face, in your opinion, an innocent prank like AWOL, can save you, for example, from punishment in the form of detention in a disciplinary military unit.

Be sure to read about the current informal rules. Find friends who served in the army and ask them to tell you how everything really works there. Look for the forums served in the army and ask them questions that interest you. Remember, experience will not replace hundreds of circulars and regulations, and as practice shows, it often does not comply with the provisions of regulatory legal acts.

It is believed that the deceased mother and father visit the dreams of their children in order to help them, prompt, guide them on the true path. Dreams in which a person hugs his now deceased parents are considered auspicious.

Seeing dead parents in a dream. Miller's dream book

Gustav Miller reports that now-deceased parents, dreaming in a warm and cozy atmosphere, symbolize well-being. If you dreamed about how a father or mother scolds a person in a dream, in reality this may mean disapproval on their part. Apparently, the dreamer is doing something wrong. Talking in a dream with deceased parents - to help in reality.

Gustav Miller divides all dreams about deceased parents into two groups: the first group is dreams that occur when parents are alive, the second group is dreams that occur after their true death. In principle, Miller sees nothing wrong in both cases. On the contrary, dreams about deceased parents that occur when mom and dad are now alive speak of their longevity.

Dead parents in a dream. Freud's dream book

Sigmund Freud calls such dreams symbols of human regrets about their missed opportunities, about any memories and about past successes. If the dreamer sees that his parents have died, while in reality they are healthy, this may indicate the subconscious desire of the sleeping person to die. Freud justifies such a cruel interpretation: apparently, once the parents prevented the dreamer from carrying out his plans, for which he was very offended by them.

Dead parents in a dream. Dream interpretation of the XXI century

According to these interpretations, to see dead parents in a dream is to wealth and happiness. If the father is dreaming now, losses are coming in reality: the dreamer may lose his inheritance. Talking in a dream with a deceased father - to the correct understanding and rethinking of spiritual values. There is no need to argue in a dream with your parents, especially with your dad, as this can lead to a decline in business.

Seeing a dead mother in a dream is a warning against rash acts in reality. Dead mothers most often come to their sons in a dream to dissuade them from some conceived dubious deeds that can go sideways for them. In addition, in a dream, a mother symbolizes changes for the better, but sometimes she can dream of a serious illness of a dreamer or before his own death.

Deceased parents. Dream Interpretation of the World

The interpreters of this dream book say that such dreams warn of impending danger. You need to be more careful with strangers. Talking in a dream with deceased parents - to receive some important news in reality. Swearing in a dream with the now deceased mother and father - to boredom for them in reality. The dreamer, apparently, feels guilty before them. A bad dream is one in which the deceased parents extend their hand to the dreamer, calling for them.

Any nation strives to preserve the traditions of its ancestors. This is the basis for the further spiritual development of the nation. In today's society, keeping traditions that have been passed down from generation to generation becomes a difficult task.

For hundreds of years, the Russian people have accumulated invaluable experience, which has found its expression in traditions, beliefs, and rituals. The change of pagan religion to Christian influenced the worldview of the Slavs. However, paganism harmoniously merged over time, forming the most important layer of Russian culture. Some traditions have been transformed, while retaining the Proto-Slavic basis. Observance of the traditions of ancestors is a necessary condition for procreation and spiritual development. Most of the moral categories of Russians are nourished by the centuries-old experience of the Russian people.

Pagan traditions of the Russian people

Each clan had its own sacred animal, which protected the tribe from evil spirits. The mythological image of the bear, which has become one of the symbols of Russia, has survived to this day. The bear in Slavic mythology was considered a protector from evil forces and the patron of the family. Therefore, many peasants had a talisman-amulet from a bear's paw at home. The horse was also a revered animal, since most peoples led a nomadic lifestyle. The horse was a sacred animal, and the presence of a horseshoe at home is still associated in the minds of Russians with a powerful protective effect. Brownie deserves special attention. This is the main guard of the house and its owner. The brownie had to be appeased by any means, since an angry brownie could leave the house. Our ancestors did not think of maintaining harmony in the family without a brownie.

Christian traditions of the Russian people

Sources:

• Traditions of our ancestors

In modern times, the custom of mourning has ceased to be a strict and obligatory act after the death of a relative. The death of a dear person among believers is accompanied by Christian traditions - prayers for the soul of the deceased and holding memorial days. For atheists, sad events result in the psychological overcoming of grief and the desire to return to normal life as soon as possible.

Mourning is a system of rules and prohibitions that must be observed by family members and relatives of the deceased. The duration of mourning can vary: 3 days, 9 days, 40 days, 6 months, a year, several years. This period depends on the degree of closeness of the person to the deceased. The strictest and longest mourning is observed in relation to the husband or wife, children and parents.

The color of mourning is black. However, today the black color has already lost its sad purpose. Stylists have long brought it into fashion because of the effect of visually slimming. However, it is very important to emphasize the recent death of a loved one with any detail or piece of dark-colored wardrobe in order to restore psychological balance. As a rule, women wear mourning headdresses or headscarves and long dresses, while men wear black shirts.

According to folk tradition, up to 40 days the soul of the deceased is next to relatives and home. This understanding of death left its mark on the nature of mourning. Even if relatives did not experience great grief, they should lead a humble lifestyle, show sadness in everything, pray hard, limit themselves in contact with other people, and avoid any manifestations of joy and happiness. In Russia, it was forbidden to sing, eat sweet dishes, drink wine and go to festivities.

Fasting during mourning is observed not only among Christians, but also in many other religions. In addition, at the memorial meal, as a rule, only simple, traditional food is allowed, including special memorial dishes: jelly, cabbage soup or fish soup, pancakes and kutya.

True believers and soul grieving Orthodox Christians after the death of a relative should most of all strive not for external observance of mourning customs, but for internal humility, being in fervent prayer for the deceased person. If the deceased was baptized, you should order a magpie - a commemoration at 40 liturgies, be sure to visit the church on the 9th and 40th day from the date of death and serve a memorial service, pray daily for the repose of the soul. If the deceased was not baptized, only home prayer is permissible.

Article "Mourning" | ANNA DANILOVA | NOVEMBER 1, 2015

What is the meaning of personal mourning and national mourning?

The meaning of mourning

In the generally accepted understanding, mourning involves the wearing of dark clothes and a ban on entertainment for a certain period of time: from several months to a year - according to the closest relatives. During this time, widowers generally do not remarry. However, what is the meaning of this long external grief, and is it necessary to observe strict mourning.

So, St. Theophan the Recluse especially emphasized that external mourning is superfluous, and the main thing for a dead person is our prayer and alms for him:

"Cry or something? I think to rejoice for the deceased. Glory to Thee, Lord! It will no longer toil on this boring and boring land. Maybe you need to cry for yourself? It's not worth it ... How much is left here? A day or two, and we'll go there ourselves. I have always had such an idea that it is not necessary to wear mourning for the dead, but festive dresses, and not mournful songs to sing, but to serve a grateful prayer service.

Everything has been turned upside down for us. That the remains, the body of the deceased, should be given some honor, this is absolutely true. But why do we refer to this body as a living person? You have to be surprised. The Lord is all alive. And the just deceased is alive ... What a fine fellow he is, what a handsome man! What a clean and bright one! If we had a look, we would have stared… And we, having looked at his body: it is bluish, his eyes are sunken, etc., we imagine him like this… This self-deception and tears the heart. So that the heart does not tear, it is necessary to disperse this deception ... Then a damp grave will come to mind ... gloomy ... Alas! Poor! And he is in a bright place, in a state of complete joy, free from all bonds. It's amazing how good he is...

To top it off, we think: he died, he didn’t ... but he didn’t even think to stop being ... And everything is the same as it was yesterday on the eve of death, only it was worse for him, and now it’s better. Not seeing him is not a loss. It happens right there... Those who have departed are as fast-moving as thought... We Christians do not flow towards the unknown. Why, if mortal sins do not burden anyone, we undoubtedly believe that the doors of the Kingdom are open to him. If, however, we add to this some kind of goodness, and some sacrifices for the Lord's sake, then all the more doubt should not remain about the blissful lot of those who depart ... "

Archpriest Alexander Ilyashenko, answering the question of how to behave after the death of a relative, emphasizes: “Our deceased relatives most of all need not the outward mourning observed by us, but our fervent prayers for them. Therefore, if the deceased was baptized, you need to order a magpie (that is, a commemoration at 40 Liturgies), serve a memorial service on the 9th and 40th days after death, pray for the repose of the soul yourself (traditionally, the Psalter is read about the newly deceased in the first 40 days, according to 1 or more kathisma daily - depending on the opportunity). If the deceased was not baptized, then you can only pray in home prayer. It is very good to do some good deeds or give alms in memory of the deceased.”

Archbishop Vincent of Yekaterinburg and Verkhoturye specifically notes that in Russia the tradition of external mourning became especially strong during the atheistic years, when the church's attitude towards death was forgotten:

“Death for an Orthodox Christian is a transition to another life, to eternal life - either to heaven or hell. And, of course, people to some extent grieve that their loved one has passed away. We even know that Christ the Savior Himself, seeing the death of Lazarus, shed tears. It's our human nature that we grieve. But, of course, we must mourn in moderation so as not to fall into despondency, into despair: everything is lost, there is no person. It is worth constantly in this mournful hour for us to remind ourselves that the soul has gone, and the body has remained here temporarily, until the general resurrection. And the soul went to God, and if she spent her life in piety, then we should rejoice that she got rid of suffering and torment, the difficulties of this life. It often happens that before death a person suffers and gets sick quite a lot, sometimes his strength runs out in the patience of these diseases. We rejoice that the Lord gave him the strength to carry the cross to the end, so that he could be worthy of a crown in the Kingdom of God. … Unfortunately, it also happens in another way: that he is not yet ready and you still need to pray for him; then we grieve that he is gone - we grieve that he still needs help so that the Lord forgives him his sins.

We must restrain ourselves so as not to fall into despondency and despair, when we no longer know what to do, we lose control of ourselves. There is sorrow - our nature is like that; but you need to restrain it with faith that there is eternity and your loved one has gone into eternity, you need to help him, you need to pray. And in prayer for the deceased, we receive comfort in this sorrow. This is no longer mourning, but simply a serious attitude towards the future eternity.

You can’t talk about mourning at all - we funeral the deceased in white clothes, we put on white clothes to show that the person has not died, but gone, and we need to pray for him. This departure for him is joyful and pleasant.

In Soviet times, there was a different attitude towards death: everything is already gone, there is no other life! Indeed, for them it was mourning: for them there is no God, there is no soul, there is nothing - of course, everything is gone; therefore black clothes, despondency, despair and torment. And in our country people already understand now, they have a different attitude towards death. They understand that death is a transition: everyone is subject to it, no one can escape it, everyone living on earth, at least 100, at least 120, at least 150 years - sooner or later the moment will come when the soul will be separated from this world. Therefore, we need to prepare: we must prepare for this moment to be truly joyful for us, so that the angels will meet us and take our soul to the heavenly abodes.

The tradition of wearing mourning for a deceased spouse for a long time reflects the inner need of the soul. Thus, the Holy Great Martyr Elizaveta Feodorovna Romanova wore mourning for her murdered husband Grand Duke Sergei Alexandrovich for five years, and this mourning was not a tribute to the rite. All this time she fervently prayed and did works of mercy, and she changed her black robe to the white clothes of a sister of mercy:

“Sergey Aleksandrovich was killed by a bomb thrown by the terrorist Ivan Kalyaev at the Nikolsky Gates of the Kremlin. When Elizaveta Fedorovna arrived there, a crowd of people had already gathered there. Someone tried to prevent her from approaching the site of the explosion, but when the stretcher was brought, she herself laid the remains of her husband on them. Only the head and face were intact. Moreover, she picked up icons in the snow that her husband wore around his neck.

The procession with the remains moved to the Chudov Monastery in the Kremlin, Elizaveta Fedorovna followed the stretcher on foot. In church, she knelt beside the stretcher by the pulpit and bowed her head. She stood on her knees throughout the memorial service, only occasionally casting a glance at the blood oozing through the tarpaulin.

Then she got up and walked through the frozen crowd to the exit. In the palace, she ordered that a mourning dress be brought to her, changed clothes and began to write telegrams to her relatives, writing in an absolutely clear, clear handwriting.

On April 22, 1910, in the church of Martha and Mary, Bishop Tryphon consecrated 17 ascetics led by the abbess as sisters of the cross of love and mercy. For the first time, the Grand Duchess took off her mourning and put on the attire of the cross sister of love and mercy. She gathered the seventeen sisters and said: "I leave the brilliant world where I held a brilliant position, but together with all of you I ascend to a greater world - to the world of the poor and suffering."

State mourning

In the light of what has been said above, is there any sense in declaring state mourning? In Russia, there is no clear rule for declaring mourning, however, as a rule, it is declared in the event of the death of more than 60 people. In Soviet times, mourning was also declared on the days of the death of leaders. But every minute someone dies. This is how St. Nicholas of Serbia writes about national mourning:

“When the heads of European countries declare state mourning for the death of some prince of Bourbon or Savoy, how do they forget to declare mourning for the violent death of thousands and thousands of human beings, each of whom is a prince in the eyes of God? If the European peoples were truly enlightened, they would establish state and national mourning for any war anywhere in the world. In the name of compassion, restaurants, gambling houses and cinemas would be closed, all entertainment would be prohibited while brotherly blood was shed. How heaven would rejoice if the Slavs were the first to establish such an order!

Serbia has declared three days of mourning in connection with the death of its Patriarch. After the death of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy, mourning was not declared, although the whole country mourned, everyone who could came to say goodbye to the Patriarch. All entertaining television and radio programs look like a terrible dissonance and a real insult not only to religious feelings, but also to the simplest human ones.

Is it possible to force the sharing of grief, the reader will ask. Is it worth showing a person what he may not want to see, is it worth limiting his freedom given by God? Or maybe vice versa, without replacing entertainment shows, we deprive a person of freedom? After all, it seems that from the stories about Patriarch Pavle of Serbia, many interesting programs could be made that would truly reveal the great man to the world. On the days of the funeral of Patriarch Alexy, the highest rating among non-entertainment programs was for the broadcast of the funeral of the Patriarch, the people themselves made their choice.

This is how St. Nicholas of Serbia writes with sorrow about the feast amid suffering: “Do you enjoy food and drink, fun and cinema, laughter and jokes when you mentally reach the Manchurian fields and see frozen, bloody, hungry and bestial people, descendants of the same progenitor, from which your people and we are descended? Every evening you listen to the radio and think that from his chatter you become smarter. The most important thing that could be reported by radio today is the groans of thousands of wounded and dying, the sobs of mothers, widows and children of two great powers. All of them are the same as you, people, living souls, thirsting for life and happiness. And above them the same sun shines as above you. And just like you, the weeping eye of God looks at them.”

In Russia, even one-day mourning for Patriarch Alexy was not declared, and it was not declared after the murder of priest Daniil Sysoev. I would like to hope that a day of truly national mourning - a day of prayer and concentration, a day of good deeds and farewell to the deceased, would be not only the dates of the mass death of people, but also the transition to eternal life of truly outstanding people, for whom the whole a country from which you can learn real life. Maybe then there will be less mass deaths?