When the man got carried away. Philosophers on the nature of women. Women's philosophy and psychology for women

The attitude of philosophers towards women in our time is deservedly rethought. And they seemed to have a reason for that. For example, the "philosopher of pessimism" Arthur Schopenhauer had an incredible hatred for the female sex and blamed her for all the troubles of mankind because of the way she treated love. Either women have become different along with society, or philosophers have been very unlucky - you decide. We publish the thoughts of Western philosophers about women and gender difference. In the title, by the way, the thought of Erasmus of Rotterdam, stated on behalf of Stupidity.

Erasmus of Rotterdam, Netherlands, 1469 - 1536

Erasmus was the illegitimate son of a priest. The father loved his chosen one so much that, despite the protests of his parents, he stayed with her. The famous humanist was a very desirable child, but, alas, illegal.

At the age of 13, Erasmus was left without parents. Left an orphan, the boy grew up cowardly and timid. And when he realized that a secular career with such a background did not shine for him, he went to the monastery. During his life he traveled a lot: he left Holland early, lived in France, England and in different parts of Italy.

Erasmus' most famous work is the philosophical satire Praise of Folly. It easily and humorously ridicules the world in terms of stupidity.

Erasmus of Rotterdam. Portrait by Holbein from the collection of Longford Castle

“Men are born for the affairs of government, and therefore should have received a few extra drops of intelligence necessary to maintain male dignity; on this occasion, a man turned to me for instruction - as, indeed, he always does - and I immediately gave him worthy advice: to marry a woman, a slow-witted and stupid brute, but funny and sweet, so that with her stupidity seasoned and sweetened the dreary importance of the male mind.<…>Even if a woman wants to be thought smart, no matter how hard she fights, she will turn out to be doubly stupid, like a bull, which, contrary to reason, is led to the lists, because every innate vice is only aggravated by attempts to hide it under the guise of virtue. The Greek proverb says correctly: a monkey always remains a monkey, even if he is clothed in purple; so a woman will forever be a woman, in other words, a fool, no matter what mask she puts on herself. And yet I do not consider women so stupid as to be offended by my words, for I myself am a woman and my name is Stupidity.

Arthur Schopenhauer, Germany, 1788 - 1860

The Philosopher of Pessimism became famous for his aphoristic style of writing. He got his nickname because he considered our world to be "the worst possible world." Naturally, he was a misanthrope, a mystic and gravitated toward romanticism. Appreciated the ideas of Buddhism. He criticized the contemporaries of Hegel and Fichte. Indeed, it is difficult to find two people so opposite, at least in style of writing, as Hegel and Schopenhauer. Yes, they have different attitudes towards women. The latter was an ardent misogynist.

Schopenhauer's metaphysical analysis of the will, his views on human motivation (it was he who first used this term) and desires, aphoristic writing style influenced many famous thinkers, including Friedrich Nietzsche, Richard Wagner, Ludwig Wittgenstein, Erwin Schrödinger, Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud , Otto Rank, Carl Jung, Leo Tolstoy and Jorge Luis Borges.

Portrait of 29-year-old Arthur Schopenhauer by L. Ruhl

“The short, narrow-shouldered, wide-hipped sex could only be called beautiful by the mind of a man clouded by sexual urge: all his beauty lies in this urge.”

“With good reason, it could be called an unaesthetic, or inelegant, floor. Indeed, women have neither receptivity nor true inclination either for music, or for poetry, or for the educational arts; and if they indulge in them and rush about with them, then this is nothing more than simple monkeying for the purposes of coquetry and desire to please.

“The nobler and more perfect a thing, the later and slower it reaches its maturity. A man acquires the maturity of reason and spiritual strength hardly before the age of twenty-eight; woman - with the eighteenth year. But on the other hand, such is the mind: quite meagerly measured.

“Women are already inclined (adapted) to nurture and educate our first childhood because they themselves are childish, absurd and short-sighted, in a word, all their lives they are big children: a kind of intermediate step between a child and a man, which is actually a person” .

“We should by no means neglect the custom of the ancient Germans - in difficult circumstances, to call women to a meeting as well, because the way they perceive things is completely different from ours, especially in that it tends to notice the shortest path to the goal and, in general, everything nearby that we, looking at far away, we mostly lose sight of it precisely because it lies under our noses.

Despising Judaism, Schopenhauer nevertheless highly valued the legend of the Fall and called it a "brilliant point." The Old Testament lines turned out to be close to the philosopher's views on sexual love. According to Schopenhauer, the metaphysical basis of life shines through in this phenomenon. Love is an irresistible instinct, a powerful natural attraction to procreation. The lover has no equal in madness in the idealization of the beloved being, and yet all this is a “military trick” of the genius of the family, in whose hands the lover is a blind tool, a toy.

The attractiveness of one creature in the eyes of another is based on favorable data for the production of good offspring. When this goal is achieved by nature, the illusion is instantly dispelled. Such a view of love between the sexes naturally makes woman the main culprit of evil in the world, because through her there is a constant new and new affirmation of the will to live. Nature, in creating woman, has resorted to what is called in theatrical jargon "crackling effect".

Aristotle, Ancient Greece, 384-322 BC e.

Most people know Aristotle as Alexander's teacher, thanks to the famous movie. Meanwhile, the importance of this man for all Western philosophy is difficult to overestimate. He was the first to create a comprehensive system of philosophy. It covered all spheres of people's lives: sociology, politics, physics and logic. The conceptual apparatus of Aristotelian formal logic and poetics is still in use among scientists.

Aristotle

We can say that Aristotle's attitude towards women is purely pragmatic. It is derived from his political philosophy ("Politics"). We wrote about it earlier.

“It is the same with a man in relation to a woman: the first is by nature higher, the second is lower, and now the first rules, the second is in submission.”

“The ability to decide is not characteristic of a slave at all, it is characteristic of a woman, but devoid of effectiveness, the child is also characteristic, but is in an undeveloped state.”

“The power of a husband over his wife can be compared with the power of a politician, the power of a father over children with the power of a king. After all, a man by nature, excluding only these or those abnormal deviations, is more called to leadership than a woman.

“But a woman and a slave, but the nature of her bottom is different beings: after all, the creativity of nature is in no way likened to the pitiful work of blacksmiths who make a “Delphian knife”; on the contrary, in nature every object has its purpose. Thus, every tool will best serve its purpose if it is designed to perform one job, and not many. The barbarians have a woman and a slave; occupy the same position, and this is explained by the fact that they lack an element that is intended in their nature to dominate. They have only one form of communication - the communication of a slave and a slave. That is why the poet says: "It is fitting for the Greeks to rule over the barbarians"; barbarian and slave are by nature identical concepts.

Immanuel Kant, Germany, 1724−1804

The man who influenced all subsequent philosophical thought was born, grew up and died in Königsberg (now Kaliningrad). Immanuel Kant was not from a wealthy family. His father was an artisan, so when he died, Kant had to drop out of university and take up home schooling to support the rest of the family.

Kant outlived all his friends, despite the fact that he was in poor health. All thanks to the rigid daily routine, which has become a byword even among the Germans. For example, every day Kant went for a walk at the same time and walked at a certain speed (and if he walked a certain section of the path faster, he stopped for a couple of minutes). Once he did not go for a walk, which greatly surprised the neighbors. The thing is that they brought him a new work of Rousseau and Kant could not stop reading.

Immanuel Kant

He developed a hypothesis according to which the solar system was formed from a nebula; studied the role of ebbs and flows; outlined a plan for the genealogical classification of the animal world; tried to understand how it is possible to obtain pure, non-empirical knowledge. Was an anti-Semite. He was not married, because at first there was no money for it, and after that there was no desire, but he loved women's society very much and was considered a good conversationalist in the world. His research philosophical works "Critique of Pure Reason", "Critique of Practical Reason" and "Critique of Judgment" still have not lost their relevance.

“A woman is a little embarrassed by the fact that she does not have some high concepts, that she is shy and not intended for important matters; she is beautiful and captivating – that is enough.”

Kant on men and women

“A woman wants to rule, a man wants to obey (mainly before marriage). Hence the gallantry of the old chivalry. - A woman early acquires the confidence that she can please. A young man is always afraid that he might not like him, and therefore he is embarrassed (becomes shy) in women's society. - To restrain the intrusiveness of men with the respect that a woman inspires, and the right to demand respect for herself, even without any merit - a woman defends this pride and this right, proceeding from the mere legal right of her sex. - A woman is always a refusing side, a man is a harassing one; if she submits, then this is a sign of favor. - Nature wants a woman to be sought, and therefore a woman in her choice (according to her taste) should not be as picky as a man whom nature has created more rude and who pleases a woman even when he shows only physical strength and the ability to protect her ; after all, if she were disgusted with the beauty of the male figure and, falling in love, was picky, then she would be the harassing party, and he would be the one who refuses; and that would have humiliated her even in the eyes of a man. - In love, she should seem cold, and a man - ardent. Not to obey the call of love is not to the face of a man, but to easily succumb to this call is shameful for a woman. - The desire of a woman to extend her charms to all secular men is coquetry; the desire to appear in love with all women is courtship; both can be only affectation that has become a fashion, without any serious consequences.

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, Germany, 1770−1831

Hegel was born in Stuttgart, Germany, in the family of a financial official. At the university he studied theology, with friends he was in a circle that admired the French Revolution. In subsequent years, celebrated Bastille Day. For some time he worked as a home teacher, but thanks to the inheritance he escaped the fate of a tutor for life. In 1801, he began teaching and lectured at the Universities of Jena and Berlin. After he married, and in the tranquility of marriage, he wrote his most important work, The Science of Logic.

Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel

Hegel, unlike Kant, did not abandon metaphysics. He believed that our universe is rational, logical and comprehensible with the help of the mind. The ideal state, in the understanding of Hegel, is the triumph of the moral idea, and the structure of the state is created by the spirit, therefore the divine in it grows into the real.

“Regarding the relationship between a man and a woman, it should be noted that the girl, surrendering herself, sacrifices her honor. But for a man, since he has another sphere of moral activity, this does not apply. The purpose of the girl consists essentially only in marriage; therefore, the requirement is that love should take the form of marriage and that the various moments that are in love should receive their truly rational relation to each other.

“The relationship between husband and wife is a direct cognition of one consciousness in the other and cognition of mutual recognition. Since this relationship is natural knowledge of each other, and not moral, it is only a representation and image of the spirit, and not the actual spirit itself. But the representation or image has its reality in something other than this relation; that is why this relation has its actuality not in itself, but in the child, in the "other," whose becoming it is and in which it itself disappears; and this succession of successive generations receives its constancy among the people. The reverence of husband and wife for each other, therefore, is mixed with a natural relationship and with feeling, and their very relationship does not include a return to themselves.

They jokingly say that men and women have only one difference: men take care of what is between their legs, and women take care of what is between their hands. This, of course, is true, but there are many other equally interesting differences. For example, female and male logic. Women call iron. And men argue that women have no logic in principle.

The brains of men and women work differently.

There is scientific evidence for this. The brain of a man and the brain of a woman work differently. The female mind is fragmented, illogical and yet comes to a single result. Male - monolithic, unidirectional, with plot logic. This is how nature arranged it, and it is pointless to argue with this.

Harvard President Lawrence Summers summed up at a major international conference: “Women cannot achieve great success in mathematics and science, not because of social inequality, but because of genetic difference from men.” Angry ladies from the scientific community took his words literally: “We are considered fools!” and defiantly left the room. But Summers didn't mean to offend anyone. The fact is that he did not quite successfully voice the results of recent studies that showed that the male and female brains are different from each other.

Scientists conducted the following experiment: participants of different sexes moved through the streets of a virtual city created on a computer. In order to get to the right place, men used an average of 2 minutes and 22 seconds, and women - 3 minutes 16 seconds. What are the reasons for such a clear difference? Scientists believe that women think mostly in the frontal lobes of the brain. And these shares are responsible mainly for intuition and emotions, and not for logic. Men, working on any problem, use all their brain analytics, plus, more actively than women, they turn on the brain areas responsible for processing visual information. A woman always thinks “between”, she does not have logically verified chains.

She takes one, pushes away from it, something flies like an impulse inside her brain, and at the output we get an absolutely incredible message. This is called female intuition, although in fact this is the normal normal operation of the female brain. It seems to others that a woman is deceiving or delusional, but in fact this is not so, she simply lives inside herself a whole world of sensations, lives and images.

Thus, the secret of the female mind is that a woman is not unipolar: by introducing one frequency into herself, she will bring out a completely different one. A man, on the other hand, is straightforward: what “entered” into him, then “exited”. The male mind is logical in and out.

Vocabulary difference

In addition to logic, men and women have vocabulary in different ranges of their vocabulary. A man, as a creature programmed mainly for actions, reacts to verbs and is absolutely insensitive to adjectives. A woman, on the contrary, hears only adjectives, she has nothing to perceive verbs. For example, a wife comes up to her husband and says: "My dear, my dear, my beloved." He hears only her voice, which sounds like a stream. A man does not perceive these epithets, they do not enter his consciousness, they pass by. But then the woman gives the command to act: “Go and act, come and see, do it for me”, the man hears the order and goes to act.

It is easier for a man to explain himself in love with verbs. He says: "Love me, act, rule over me, cover, etc." And the woman bewilderedly asks: “Call me sweet, wonderful ...” For her, the main thing is emotional coverage, for him - action. Roughly speaking, men have one straight line in their brains, while women have two curves. Men's logic can be imagined as a solid island, while a woman wraps quicksand around this island and thereby shakes it. Ladies are accustomed to the caress of the language with words, to songs, to long words. A man loves recitative, short words, abrupt phrases. Women themselves represent love, they are more cordial, caring, reverent. The only thing in which both sexes are similar is in nouns, but women's words still consist of a large number of letters. Here is an understanding of the difference!

Who is more important?

I must say that humanity spends a lot of time on the relationship between a man and a woman, trying to reconcile with each other or separate from each other. A woman by nature always wants to be protected by a man. A man, on the other hand, always strives for freedom, and even the bonds of love seem like chains to him, even though he loves her (or, more precisely, himself in her). But the more developed and educated a man is, the more deeply he comprehends love. And a woman, entering the male world, begins to struggle, and often her love begins to dry up from this.

And M and F start an endless fitting - who is more important. Forgetting that a man can look, a woman can listen. As a result, one never hears, the second never sees. The task of a man and a woman is to step towards each other, not to tear themselves apart, to pass through each other and to know the opposite "civilization" without disturbing its flow. This is how the happiest families are formed, which can get to know each other for a long, long time, without destroying either themselves, or those who are nearby, or their own children.

Of course, these are far from all aspects in the difference in the worldview of men and women, but the essence is clear in any case - each of us should remain in our assigned roles by nature, without pretending to take each other's place, and remain with open eyes and ears in daily dialogue.

Maybe there was a story in your life when you had to be the one that “stops a galloping horse”, perform a male role? Tell us how you managed to return to your feminine position.

Both men and women are members of the human race. There is much in common between them, but even more different. Visible differences in the structure of the body and genitals are the tip of the iceberg.

The psychological and social differences in the personality of the two sexes are so significant that men and women seem to each other the most difficult riddle on planet Earth.

How is a man different from a woman? Why is it so important to know and consider these differences?

Definition of male and female

Despite the fact that the speaking brain, the nervous system of men and women are arranged in the same way, they perceive and react to the world around them in different ways. Thoughts, feelings, emotions, needs have different directions. Habits, behavior and worldview differ so much that sometimes both sexes do not understand each other, as if they speak different languages. Men and women have different styles and lifestyles.

Personal qualities, character traits, temperament and other features of the psyche are objectively the same for the strong and weak half of humanity. The division into "male" and "female" qualities is conditionally accepted in society as predominantly peculiar to one or another sex.

A man is an active, purposeful, strong, courageous, strong-willed Figure and Defender. He focuses on the external, objective world. A woman is kind, gentle, emotional, intuitive, striving for constancy and stability. She is an inner-oriented, relationship-oriented and emotionally oriented Homemaker and Mother.

Men strive to achieve a specific goal, result, women - to create relationships and harmony. A man prefers to act, a woman prefers to feel and experience.

A woman lives as her heart tells her, a man - guided by the arguments of the mind.

A man has a lot of purely feminine, feminine qualities, a woman has masculine, muscular ones. Some men and some women are masculine. The difference between a man and a woman in psychological terms is conditional. Upbringing, self-education, education, lifestyle leave an imprint on the personality, determine the development of female or male character traits.

Differences in worldview and attitude

Each person is an individual, with a special combination of personality traits and qualities. Science does not study the psychology of specific men and women, but average statistical data obtained through research and experimentation. Scientists rely on ideas about a typical representative of a particular sex.

Men and women look at the world differently and perceive it differently, despite the fact that their sense organs are the same. Sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste determine the picture of the world. Information about the environment comes from the senses to the human brain, where it is processed.

The male brain is larger than the female and weighs more, but the ratio of brain size to body size in men and women is the same. The left and right hemispheres of the female brain have more neural connections between themselves, which allows the fair sex to do more things at the same time. Men prefer to concentrate on one task at a particular time, problems are solved in stages.

Differences in the attitude and worldview of men and women have not been fully studied, since the field of research in this area is unusually wide.

Some differences between the female and male outlook on life and features of the perception of the world:

• Orientation in space. Men are better than women in space and understand maps. It is easy for a woman to get lost, even if she has a map of the area. Men determine the mileage and cardinal directions, women are guided by the distinctive features of the landscape and direction of movement.
• Smell. Women are better oriented and distinguish smells more easily, more sensitive to the intensity and strength of the aroma. In choosing a man, a woman is guided by his natural smell. It is unconsciously evaluated as an indicator of a man's health (strong or weak immunity and a set of genes) and sexual compatibility with a woman.
• Vision. Men naturally have sharper eyesight, they see better in the distance and in the dark. Women are better at distinguishing and understanding shades of color and light. They have better developed peripheral, side vision. If a woman sees an object without turning towards it, without turning her head, the man is forced to do so.

• Pain. A woman has more recipes that are responsible for the sensation of pain, so they feel it sharper, stronger and longer. Men are less sensitive to pain, the intensity of pain is reduced by perception. But women have more mechanisms that cope with pain and are designed to eliminate it.
• Response in an emergency situation. In an acute extreme situation, a man maintains sobriety of mind and speed of reactions, acts correctly and calmly. Women more , unrest and panic. They do not like not only extreme, but also any new situations that have not happened before.
• Sexual pleasure. On average, a man is able to get sexual satisfaction after four minutes of having sex; for women, this figure varies from ten to twenty minutes. After sex, a woman's body is programmed to remain motionless in a lying position, as in this case the likelihood of conception increases. After orgasm, in both men and women, the right, creative hemisphere of the brain is activated.

Psychological differences between women and men

The difference between a man and a woman in psychological terms was noticed by philosophers in antiquity. From philosophical reasoning to psychological studies of differences in male and female psychology, scientists moved in the century before last. Since then and to this day, many studies have been carried out, the results of which confirm that the differences in the psychology of men and women are significant and significant.

Both of them need to know how a man differs from a woman in order to understand each other and build relationships.

Features of the psychology of the sexes are taken into account in the relationship not only of specific men and women, but also of men and women in general.

Differences between male and female in psychology:

• Thinking. Women think in images, rely on, men mainly have logical thinking, they rely on sensations and reason.
• Emotional-volitional sphere. Both men and women can experience deep and strong feelings. But emotionality as a character trait is more characteristic of women. It is more difficult for women to manage emotions and mood. This is due to the frequent change of hormonal background, its cyclicity. Women are often nervous, anxious, experiencing poetry and phobias. Willpower, fearlessness, are more developed in men.
• Temperament. Men are more likely to be active choleric and, and women - and
• Self-esteem. and self-esteem of women are often underestimated. They are more worried that they do not fit into the ideals and accepted standards, both in appearance and behavior.
• Priorities and social needs. A man wants to achieve success in his career, realize himself as a professional, acquire a status in society. A woman wants to be loved, create a family, become a harmonious person, realize herself as a wife and mother.

The combination of masculine and feminine principles gives rise to an integral system, where the elements complement and emphasize each other.

A woman is looking for her man, and a man is looking for a woman. Simultaneously similar and different, they experience attraction to each other, which develops into love.

Two camps - male and female - are constantly exciting game. They either move away from each other, failing to understand the opposite "civilization", then they unite, enthusiastically intertwining. And the whole point is the dissimilarity of views and principles, different understanding of the world, awareness of one's place in it. Let us consider in more detail how the female worldview differs from the male.

Male and female factors

Let's start with why a man and a woman look at this world differently. First of all, of course, we are talking about what is inherent in them by nature itself, and more specifically, about the peculiarities of thinking.

It is known that a clearly built thought, logic is about a man. He is straightforward, well oriented in space, sees the situation on a larger scale, puts rationality at the forefront. In a woman, in the first place are sensations, emotions, accompanied by a lack of logical reasoning. Starting with one, she passes it through her range of feelings and images and gets a completely different result at the output.

Another point explaining the difference between the female worldview and the male one is the role that has been assigned to representatives of the opposite sex since ancient times. The mission of a man is to continue the race, and he has his own view on relationships with a woman. A woman is aimed at the birth of healthy offspring and their safe existence, and this also affects her position in relation to a man.

The man is strong. He is meant to protect. Therefore, his attitude to risk and danger is completely different from that of a woman. In addition, the attachment of a woman to the family hearth and the task facing a man of solving external affairs make representatives of both sides treat all sorts of problems and difficulties differently.

Comparison

We note a few key points.

Priorities

It is extremely important for a man to be successful. And success is closely related to how a man realized in his business, what heights he achieved. A man constantly thinks about the details regarding his work, and strives to achieve the main thing - an increase in material savings. If a man sees that his labors were not in vain, and gets the expected result, he is happy.

Of course, in modern society, a woman also often tries on her own to stand firmly on her feet in the material plane, showing masculine qualities when making money, but still she often has to do this out of necessity. After all, in principle, the main thing that occupies her is her own family, the calmness of each of its members, the creation of comfort and a benevolent atmosphere in the house.

Attitude towards the opposite sex

The role of a man is in the conception of offspring. He quickly "flares up" for intimacy, seeing this as an opportunity to give his seed to a woman. Unfortunately, after that he is able to leave his partner and go to conquer other, not yet explored horizons. This is the tragedy of many women. However, if the chosen one seriously attracted a man not only physically, but also with spiritual qualities, he can stay with her forever and will do everything to make her feel happy.

A woman, with her motherly instincts, acts more carefully. She is more selective in choosing a partner and tries not to let her in too quickly. It is important for a woman to make sure that her companion is reliable, will give the necessary stability, that with him the children and she herself will be 100% protected.

Attitude to difficulties

In a world full of dangers, a man has no time to waste on extraneous things. In an emergency, his reaction is immediate, he is able to act decisively and accurately. The man seems to be waiting for an opportunity that will allow him to show his iron qualities, to prove that he is “real”, always able to find the best way out. The essence of a man is to walk on the edge of a knife, to put everything on the line for even more.

Problems often scare a woman. She prefers to remain calm and confident ... behind a strong male back. And if she still has to deal with serious obstacles, then it takes so much energy that, most likely, she will feel exhausted and devastated, but not happy.

Leadership

Many women do not want to admit it, but still, being a leader is the privilege of a man. To successfully realize his potential, he just needs to feel significant, the main thing. This feeling gives a man confidence, increases the energy required to solve problems.

A woman, trying on the role of a leader, is forced to face responsibility, which sometimes turns out to be too tough and instead of satisfaction brings irritation and stress. Therefore, most often a woman is softer, more compliant. This is another criterion that determines the difference between the male and female worldview.

Rivalry

In the blood of a man is the struggle for recognition of his superiority over his own kind. His woman should be the most worthy, children - the smartest and most talented, achievements - on a large scale.

Women also have a competitive spirit, but still the constant race is too exhausting for them, and most often they prefer to cooperate in order to achieve some result by common efforts.

Reason is given to man to understand the essence of things. When the mind begins to develop in a forced manner and outstrip the opening of the heart, love becomes less and less. With a lack of love, aggression and violence arise and some special measures, rules and laws are required to limit evil. The law appeared on the day when reason prevailed over love. And the institution of marriage was introduced because there was not enough love to create a couple and a family. But from the abundance of all kinds of organizations and laws regulating the relationship of people, life has not become better and happier. When people love, they do not need to organize anything special - everything is formed naturally, as if by itself. Love unites a man and a woman, parents and children, families and nations. A person filled with love creates wisdom and goes through life creating harmony.
The whole question is in the person himself! How he treats himself and the world around him, how he interacts with other people - that's where the answer lies. Love and respect for everyone and everything that surrounds a person, and, first of all, for oneself - this is the way to transform a person and the world.

Any relationship has phases, turning points that help to understand at what stage of their "adventure" a woman and a man are.

The first phase is that rush of energy that you feel when you have just met someone who you are very attracted to. At this time, a stream of unfiltered energy is coming towards you, which will overwhelm you up to the throat. In this phase of the relationship, you are simply intoxicated with love. This is often referred to as "puppy delight", passion or "honeymoon". The duration of the first phase depends on the age, experience, individual qualities of a person.

According to experts, the human soul conditionally has three levels: intellectual, emotional and physiological. When two people who meet have the same vibrations of these levels, then there is a mutual attraction to each other. If the physiological level begins to resonate strongly, then the most powerful instinctive program of procreation is turned on in the subconscious, and the man basically plays the role of a male here and does not smell of any love here, the instinct works, and after physical intimacy, the partner loses interest in her. This must be taken into account after the first meeting.

The second phase is the moment when you first noticed the problem and the rose-colored glasses were removed from you. This is when the “puppy delight” disappears and you begin to understand that you have a living person in front of you, who has both positive and negative qualities. The second phase is needed in order to learn not to run away at the first appearance of a problem. There are no perfect men, and the point is not to find the perfect man, but to find the perfect life partner. During the second phase, the question arises: “Can I withstand this person?” Look at your chosen one and ask yourself: “Can I support this person?” These questions are a kind of test for the truth of your desire. Not passion, but a real desire to overcome the trials that have arisen. In the first phase, desire comes easily, without any effort. But in the second phase, you yourself must maintain the desire in a situation where the energy of the first phase has already been used up.

The third phase gives you a test to discover how much you really want this man and this relationship in your life. In the second phase, you began to see him as a living person. In the third you will see him in his worst manifestations, and he will see you in yours. Ask yourself - are your relationships a reflection of the Light? If not, do they have the potential to become so? If not, what am I still doing here? Am I loving and supportive to the best of my ability? What do I need to do in my life in order to best reveal the Light that is within me? Whether you leave or stay, the third phase marks a turning point in your relationship with the Light and, subsequently, with the man in your life. But Light always comes first! This is the foundation on which the deepest and most fulfilling relationships are built.

The third phase is when we break old ineffective patterns and decide to stick to a higher purpose.

The fourth phase is the result of asking difficult questions, making decisions and getting results.

If you are in a long-term committed relationship, then the four phases will repeat over and over again. This is part of the correction process. If you are open to what this relationship can teach you, you will continually grow closer as a couple, and the Light you will generate together will also grow exponentially.

The goal of any relationship is to decide which part of yourself you would like to manifest, not which part of the other person you would like to grab and hold.

Most people enter into relationships with an eye to what they can get out of them rather than what they can contribute to them. The measure of the strength of a relationship is how easily the other person got used to your beliefs and how well you realized yourself, according to his ideas.

The value of a woman as a spiritual being does not depend on any man or anyone at all. If she understood this, then the need for a man would dissolve. She would know that her desire to develop a relationship with a man has a primary purpose - to bring Light to her partner and all those she loves in the world around her. When she reaches this level of consciousness, she will reach the Light!

Many make the mistake of trying to find love for themselves through love for another. In the beginning, you must (should) see yourself as worthy, and then you will be able to see a worthy other. To begin with, make sure that you enter into relationships with good intentions, that is, in accordance with the main goal that you have in life. Wrong relationships, which then still backfire badly, include intentions to end loneliness, fill a void, find yourself an object for love in order to amuse your pride, get out of depression, improve your sex life, or get rid of boredom. This situation leads to dramatic consequences.

Most people say they get into a relationship because they fell in love. And what was the reason for falling in love? What need was being satisfied then? For many people, love is the answer to satisfying needs. Lovers see each other as a chance to satisfy their need. Silently you agree on an exchange! I will sell you what I have, and you will sell me what you have! This is a deal, not love!!! This is where frustration sets in if you don't consciously agree that the purpose of your relationship is to create an opportunity, not a commitment! Develop a way of seeing all problems as opportunities. Notice more in your partner than he shows you.

A woman is the key to creating harmony and spiritual relationships, she is responsible for the success of relationships.

As long as a woman is looking for some external force - a man, a career, a financial position or any kind of external relationship in order to become happy - this will be a CONSUMPTION and disconnect her from the Light.

LIGHT is the power of consciousness, the mind of which is the absolute desire to share. That is why the Light expands and gives, dispelling the darkness with its presence. Our thoughts and the resulting behavior determine whether we actually connect with this radiant energy or, on the contrary, disconnect from it. The world around us will never change unless the world inside of us first changes!

The outer world is just a reflection, it gives us exactly the amount of light that we are connected to within ourselves. Like attracts like! Looking for something outside of you disconnects you from the Light and this disconnection makes you feel even more alone.

The Law of Attraction says that when you receive, you disconnect from the Light!!!

The more we ignore the Light within us and seek happiness outside, the more empty and frustrating our lives become.

The most important thing in life is to know how to reconnect with the Light, to connect at the most basic level of reality to the spiritual energy that is within us. Nothing material can make us happy for long, no matter what our selfish, egocentric impulses may whisper. Only relationships with other people can bring us true happiness and true fulfillment.

We must learn to attract the right people into our lives by connecting with the Light within ourselves, then normal and successful people themselves will come into our lives. It is human relationships that give us the opportunity to fill our souls with true Light and constant Joy.

Our Ego can disconnect us from the Light, this essence has one primary sign - Doubt, it is a destroyer in essence. It is the Ego that makes us react to every outside influence so that we never take control of our lives. This is why women so often look outside themselves for acceptance, happiness, and approval. That's why men can't find that part of themselves that really yearns to have and deserve their soul mate and settle down. The ego pulls our strings, manipulating our behavior, blinding our very existence. True love is a reward and must be earned.

The problem is that people now call love a feeling that is actually a need. Love has nothing to do with receiving. Love is not about what you get from a relationship, but about giving. Pleasure and fulfillment come from what you share with the person you love. You feel his happiness. When this is the case, we accept the kindness, attention, care, love, and other gifts that a loved one gives us, because we know that a partner enjoys what he shares with us. We achieve a wonderful exchange of energy, as a result of which even the act of receiving is transformed into a process of bestowal.

This kind of unconditional love can be achieved only with a real relationship between the two halves of the soul and only at those heights of love that can be reached through years of struggle and self-transformation for the sake of another person. Overcoming your negative traits is a job for both parties in the relationship. And both sides must share with each other their positive, albeit often opposite, traits in such a way as to unite both points of view. It's the glue that holds the relationship together. And if you are busy taking care of others, then the Light will definitely take care of you!

Male nature is to bring Light into the world in order to fill and win the love of a Woman, this makes it action-oriented. Men act, they solve problems.

The task of the Woman is to direct and control the flow of Light coming from the man. Women are relationship managers. Relationship management is not a man's job. A man is a channel for Light, his main desire is to please a woman. The role of a woman is to respect the desire of a man to please you and support him as a channel for the Light of the Creator in this world.

Husband and wife should be on the same level of spiritual development. The scope of their desires must match each other. If one is taller, they will never get close in order to communicate as effectively as possible. It is up to the man to decide how he will bring Light into this world, and it is up to the woman to decide if the way he brings Light into this physical reality is consistent with her values, goals and direction she has chosen for her life.

The third condition is speed. If one is focused on moving forward quickly, and the other is lagging behind, this is sure to lead to negativity in the future. There is no need to drag along, because coercion is not the way to the Light. For general happiness, the same direction, height, speed and freedom from any coercion are necessary - otherwise alienation to the partner will begin to form and accumulate.

It is not effective to order a man, he must be asked to do something for you, give him a chance to please you, act according to his natural impulse. A woman cannot change the nature of a man, but she can change the accessibility and shape of her vessel that receives Light from a man. Spiritually, a woman does not need a man, she herself is the Light and the Vessel!

A man needs a woman more than she needs him. A man needs your Vessel to manifest his potential, to manifest his Light. Woman is the Vessel for all that a man has to bring into this physical world. Without a Vessel, it is just a pipeline, not a source of Light, and not even a container. He is just an intermediary.

The problem is that a woman is often unable to see her innate Light. She often has low self-esteem and self-doubt. But the irony lies in the fact that there cannot be an insufficient amount of Light in the Vessel of a woman, because the infinite Light is the essence of the soul of a woman, it was with her from the beginning, she just did not know about it before. To find a worthy man, you first need to realize your worth, see the powerful Light inside yourself!

According to the Law of Attraction, you yourself must become like the Light in order to attract the Light to you. If you are looking for happiness outside yourself, then give up control over the situation. You become the Effect instead of being the Cause! This creates disconnection, division and space gap between you and the Divine Light. And the free space is filled with Darkness and it becomes the root of all misfortunes.

So how do you connect with your inner light?

Start respecting your own interests and desires. Start doing what you really enjoy, and not what others expect from you. One of the most important ways to connect with your inner Light is to stop worrying about your problems and start interacting with the people around you, in other words, sharing!

The more you worry about the happiness of others, the more Light goes into creating your happiness. Like attracts like!!! Your ego will prevent it. You only truly share when every cell in your body screams, "Don't do this!"

Your Light is like a beacon that attracts men. Why? But because the only purpose of the Light of the Creator in this world, the channel of which is a man, is to find its way to you. This is the Law of Attraction in its most elemental form. Light attracts Light and men want to earn your Light! A man longs for that which is led by Love, and not by fear and despair.

When you realize deep down that you do not need a man, then you will become unconditionally attractive. A woman must protect her Light and never give it away in vain!

The first date should be in the afternoon. An invitation to dinner is a hint of intimacy. He appoints, you transfer under a plausible pretext. By allowing a man to determine the day and time for a date, you lose your control over him. Your activity is not to protect his Ego, it is to protect your Light. Let him earn you. If he is sincerely interested in you, he will definitely appear in your field of vision. By setting the time and place of the meeting, you send him two messages: the first is that you appreciate yourself and the second is that you expect him to appreciate you and your choice. If he wants to talk about you, your task is to direct his energy away from you. You can encourage him by simply saying, "Let's talk a little more about you, I'm very interested in what happened in your life." You encourage his nature, that is, what he was created for, to share his Light with you, but at the same time, you keep your Light hidden, showing only the rays. By hiding your Light, you are creating Resistance - the key to creating Light between you.

Men are attracted to women who respect their own Light, their worth, their uniqueness. The first date doesn't have to be long. It should last long enough to determine whether this man deserves your further attention.

If, seeing off, he puts his hand in the wrong place, you just need to silently move his hand. In one move, you have stored your Light and redirected its energy.

The function of a man is to share. The function of a woman is to be a Vessel in order to receive everything that he shares. A man wants to please, at the same time, a woman wants respect and appreciation. The partner should not forget that your love should always be deserved!!!

The ego controls our thoughts and words 99% of the time. And our soul speaks only when we resist our ego. Thus, most of the words that we speak are motivated by our interest, and do not come from the Light.

In the female world, conversation is the most important way of exchanging energy, a way of connecting. For men, talking is what men use to create a tool for themselves to achieve results. Most men understand actions much better than verbal cues.

A woman should realize that instead of starting a conversation with her spouse about the status of the relationship, she should do something delightful for herself that does not involve his participation, for example, go to a "bachelorette party", to a sauna, to a massage, to a beauty salon, swimming pool, etc. Do something that revives your soul! At this time, you have become unavailable to him, and men want what they cannot get. They should never receive your Light, it belongs to you. You can let men bathe in it from time to time, but it belongs to you, and a smart woman never gives her Light. The light is only yours and that is what makes you happy. If a man has not found his place in this world, he will cheat on you and this betrayal does not have to be sexual. The ego is a powerful force that tests us all the time! Surrendering to materiality, men give control to their Ego!

The key for a woman is to find a man who is on the path to discovering his unique way of sharing his virtues with others. Instead of trying to get to the bottom of a man, you can base your decisions solely on his behavior. In doing so, you begin to make better decisions and become a woman of confidence and strength. A woman should choose a man she can support. And if it is not possible to support the way in which he conducts energy into this world - his work, hobbies, faith, etc. do not correspond to your beliefs, then he is not your man. If your interests do not coincide, you will constantly be in suspense and make mistakes in life, because in a state of stress, the logic of common sense is blocked in a person and he begins to live with emotions, and this jeopardizes your most important relationship - the relationship with the Light.

Supporting and acknowledging the way your man brings Light into this world strengthens your connection to the Creator. It is impossible to remake the essence of a man with the help of relationships !!!

By keeping someone within your own style, you deprive them of room to grow. You can't force someone to change, but that shouldn't make you powerless. You have the choice to support it or not. One way to give support on a practical level is to let a man know when he has done something for you - you feel good about it. A man by nature likes to feel that the Light he shared was not in vain. For a marriage or serious relationship to work, you must be willing to do anything for your partner, including leaving him if necessary. When a woman feels insecure in a relationship, when she is afraid of being rejected or abandoned, she is always looking for a reason to leave first - to strike her partner first in order to avoid pain in the future. She may begin to push him away, unconsciously draining his energy, saying something that will be unpleasant to him or that will sow doubts about her trust in him and his ability to bring Light to her. These reactions are nothing but a defense mechanism very cleverly designed to protect the female ego and keep her locked in a circle of fear and loneliness. And most importantly, you must remember that there is no reason to be afraid of being abandoned, the Light of the Creator will always be with you. It is up to you to accept and acknowledge this deepest truth. It can change lives! Your garbage is your doubts, fears, insecurities and low self-esteem, and it is our responsibility to transform our garbage into Light!

The biggest problem of a person is that he confuses emotions and feelings. Emotions bring destruction and chaos, and feelings - creation and harmony. Emotions leave behind a feeling of emptiness, and real feelings are filled and delighted. Love persists for a long time when it is not asked for, but given. She becomes a godsend. In the presence of psychological compatibility in actions and desires, love complements you, reveals your abilities, makes you smarter and more significant, leaves the freedom to be yourself. The meeting of two souls, two hearts creates the energy of love, it becomes part of the energy of the soul, which begins to radiate love. The appearance of spirituality in the life of spouses preserves the family for a long time, while the feeling of ownership, jealousy disappears, and the desire to participate in the development of each other's personality appears. In marriage, it is necessary to search for similar character traits, inclinations, complementary communication.

Lack of respect, affection, tenderness, attention, mutual assistance in business lead to the loss of a great feeling. Take a closer look at your partner first before jumping into bed with him - this is only your choice, do not look for the guilty outside, everything is in you. Each word radiates a certain energy and Light. Only those who radiate the same vibrations will be able to enter the thought-form-energy that we have created. Nothing else can penetrate it, because it is created at a certain wavelength, with a certain frequency.

Unfortunately, the Love that we profess is inherently technocratic, not cosmic. We love not the object, but ourselves in the object.

It is necessary to accept people as they are, then there will be no quarrels in the family. Egocentrism does not exist on its own, it is implanted in the form of a priority of such social conquests as a career, salary, degree, title, chair, etc. In the human soul, egocentrism is a direct opposite of spirituality and there cannot be a vacuum there. The more egocentrism in a person, the less spirituality, and, consequently, less and less of what makes a person a Human. Relationships in the family create an appropriate energy-informational field in which children are born, their upbringing takes place, certain events occur. This field is also called the "space of love" if it is based precisely on love, and not on humiliation, violence and dictate. As a rule, the family has a pronounced leader who has the greatest energetic and psychological influence. The common field is created by all family members and they are responsible for the events taking place in this space.

Therefore, it is so important to know the laws of formation of this space, which allows you to consciously shape it. Penetrating each other at a subtle level, individual souls, merging, give rise to a new mental being, representing a new type of mental individuality, having its own consciousness - this is the so-called EGREGOR - an energy-informational object in the subtle world, connected at the field level with certain states, ideas the desires and aspirations of people. Translated from Greek, Egregor means Guardian Angel. The task of a loving couple is to form their own egregor, which will support and keep love, which is a source of Light.

Based on books by I. Berg and A. Nekrasov. Compiled by B. Ratnikov.