"Night tears", or why does a child cry in a dream? What to do if a two-year-old child cries at night

Today we will talk about the worst nightmare of any parent - when a child wakes up at night with a tantrum, and there is no way to calm him down. To many, this situation does not seem to be something supernatural - it happens that babies wake up crying at night, but then they continue to sleep peacefully.

Most of the advice from doctors and other parents on how to calm a child is designed for just such a situation. They provide for the establishment and strict observance of the daily routine and evening procedures before bedtime, long walks in the fresh air, massage, relaxing baths. All these recommendations really work, but not in the case when the baby woke up at night and cries, starts screaming, does not react to anything and does not know what he wants. Unfortunately, some people face this situation quite often - sometimes even every night. What is it - children's night fears? What is the reason for their appearance and how to deal with them?

source of nightmares

There are no children who would not be afraid of anything at all. At the same time, fears that persist for a long time should attract the attention of parents. Their appearance is always due to certain factors and rarely happens from scratch. Among the most frequently encountered are:

• heredity;
• severe pregnancy in the mother;
• pathological situations during childbirth;
• the presence of serious diseases;
• transferred operations (especially under anesthesia);
• lack of communication with the mother;
• various psychological traumas;
• an abundance of impressions and overload of the nervous system;
• tense atmosphere in the family - quarrels between parents, physical aggression on their part, stress and conflicts.

Reasons for the emergence of fears are usually taken from:

• the daily life of the baby - a change of residence, school, kindergarten, changes in the environment, conflict situations;
• situations within the family - the appearance of a new family member, including the birth of a younger brother or sister, the death of relatives, the divorce of parents;
• mass media - television, radio and the Internet contain a lot of negative information: plots and programs about crimes, disasters and terrorist attacks, journalistic investigations, documentaries.

How to define fears?

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Night terrors in children usually appear even before the year, starting from 6 months, and are associated with the developmental features of the baby. At 2 - 3 years old, children are afraid to be alone, at 4 - 6 they are frightened by the darkness and various monsters and monsters, which is reflected in their dreams. Characteristic features of nightmares are:

• they usually begin 2 to 2.5 hours after falling asleep, usually between 1 and 3 hours;
• duration - from 5 to 20 minutes, with a sudden start and end of a tantrum;
• repeatability several times during the night;
• the child wakes up abruptly, screams and cries, opens his eyes, but he does not notice anything around and does not react to anything (we recommend reading:);
• during an attack, there is increased sweating and shortness of breath;
• the child wakes up in hysterics, but does not react in any way to the appearance of his parents, since he is not aware of either their presence or himself;
• it is not possible to calm the baby's tantrum or switch his attention to something else;
• not conscious aggression towards parents and attempts to destroy the room in which it is located.

Having found the above points in the behavior of your own baby, do not despair. It is difficult for any parent to watch the nightmares and tantrums of their own child and not be able to help him, but it is possible to correct the situation. You can seek help from a psychologist or wait until the baby matures and the nightmares go away on their own.

Children's imagination is quite vivid. Therefore, the baby can come up with a lot of monsters hiding in his room. Parents also need to dispel the fears of the child, showing that under the bed and in the closet is completely empty.

How to deal with night terrors?

Tantrums and nightmares at night go away on their own with age, but following some simple recommendations can ease the period of their course. You should:

• stay calm - such problems are quite common in babies aged 3 to 5 years and are not as terrible as you think;
• to constantly be near the baby - your task is not to allow him in this state to harm himself and others;
• do not remind the child about what happened, so as not to intensify his feelings;
• try to prevent the onset of nightmares by waking up the baby about 30 minutes after falling asleep - this way you will avoid another attack;
• give the child the opportunity to get enough sleep by increasing the time allotted for sleep and organizing daytime rest, which is especially important for children under 3 years old;
• do not let the baby overwork - watch his loads during the day, for children 7-10 years old, if you refuse to sleep at night, change the time to wake up or hang up;
• show your child you care - a close trusting relationship will help you calmly discuss the situation and try to find the source of its appearance.

Whether to address to the doctor?

In most situations, parental help is enough to overcome nightmares, but in some cases, contact with specialists is required. Parents should be alert for the following symptoms:

• the duration of the attack is more than 30 minutes;
• nightmares come closer to the morning;
• during an attack, speech is disturbed, behavior becomes inadequate;
• the baby, by his actions during a tantrum, can harm himself;
• fears do not pass even during the day;
• the cause of nightmares is the situation in the family - conflicts, divorce of parents, domestic violence;
• over time, the attacks become stronger and last more than a year;
• nightmares and tantrums are reflected in the behavior of the baby during the day;
• during nightmares and tantrums, the baby has bouts of urinary incontinence.

If a child had a nightmare, then parents should help him calm down. Alternatively, you can lie down with him, read a book, the main thing is that the baby feels protected

Particular attention should be paid to the course of night seizures if children have convulsive readiness, expressed in:

• sudden movements of the head;
• twitching of the shoulders;
• and eye rolling;
• protruding tongue;
• stuttering
• bouts of enuresis, repeated several times a night;
• suffocation;
• false croup;
• bronchial asthma.

All of these symptoms only exacerbate the situation with children's tantrums and nightmares. Reasons for immediate medical attention are seizures, accompanied by:

• cries;
• motor excitement;
• loss of consciousness.

When such symptoms appear, the baby's condition is diagnosed and, based on its results, medication is prescribed. The help of a psychologist may also be required to overcome problems.

Prevention and treatment

In the process of treating a child's fears, you may have to resort to the help of a psychologist.

Nightmares themselves are rarely treated with the use of medications; they usually try to eliminate the cause of their appearance. In cases where the source of their occurrence is a physical or mental illness, it is treated. If the nightmares were the result of stress or worries in the baby, a consultation with a child psychologist or psychiatrist is necessary. Sometimes drugs can be prescribed to reduce the rapid eye movement phase or prevent nocturnal awakenings - this is only done if the child has severe sleep problems.

A psychologist should deal with the clarification of the circumstances of the appearance of children's fears. During communication with the baby, he determines the source of nightmares, the degree of their danger and measures to deal with them. The main methods of diagnostics are drawings, role-playing games and staging skits - in them, using the example of heroes, you can find out and analyze the causes of fears, discuss their consequences.

The behavior of children best shows what kind of atmosphere is in the family, how parents behave. It is they who, by their example, form the child's behavior patterns, which can lead to excessive timidity or distrust of others.

A calm, even atmosphere in the family, the absence of tension and conflict will help the baby overcome the fear of the dark and get rid of nightmares. Active sports can also be a good help in the fight against nightmares. Swimming, jumping from a tower or over a bar, martial arts - all this will give self-confidence and relieve fear of the dark, water, heights, and so on.

Dealing with childhood nightmares involves addressing the immediate cause of the fear. It should be explained to the baby that being afraid is absolutely normal and natural, since fear allows you to avoid dangerous situations. Parents should tell him more often that there is nothing shameful in fears, they need to be accepted and learned to live with them.

Drawings of a child can reflect all his fears and problems. An experienced psychologist will help you understand the causes of the problem of poor sleep.

How to raise a brave kid?

In order for a child to grow up bold and active, it is necessary to make certain efforts, and the following recommendations can help in achieving this:

• do not humiliate, but do not make the child and his desires the main thing;
• treat him as an equal, respect his personality;
• do not scare the baby and do not punish him without good reason;
• make sure that he has enough communication with different people - relatives, peers, friends;
• do various crafts with your child, engage in creativity with him - so you can monitor his mental state and neutralize fears that appear in time;
• hug and kiss your baby more often - bodily contact with parents will help him feel your care and protection;
• watch the atmosphere in the family - trust, respect and love will help reduce, or even completely get rid of fears.

How should parents behave?

You can overcome children's fears by adhering to the following principles:

• Respect the child and his fears, do not laugh at them or deny them. Higher participation and attention to the problem will give a greater effect than statements from the series “You are already big enough to be afraid of the dark (for more details in the article:)!”, “Stop inventing yourself!” and the like.
• Do not shame or blame the child for his experiences - this will only increase anxiety and lead to feelings of guilt. Let him know that even "real men" have the right to be afraid.
• Don't try to force the child to overcome the fear directly, for example by leaving him alone in a dark room. Offer your help and support to him: look together at all the “terrible” places where he sees various dangers, look in closets, under the bed, in dark corners. Finding no one there, the child will quickly believe in the groundlessness of his experiences and calm down.
• When a child misbehaves, do not scare him with various monsters and villains and do not threaten to give it to anyone.

Understanding, care and love of parents are important components for a stable psyche of the baby.

Children's imagination - the source of night anxiety

All children are not alike - each of them has his own fantasies and his own opinion about everything. They can create for themselves the object of nightmares, and a more developed imagination will only give them more realism. You can also use these abilities of the child to overcome fears.

Establish contact with the child to find out the source of fear. Help your child separate and overcome their feelings from themselves by learning to change and control their feelings. Try for this:

• write a story with a happy ending with the baby, which tells about the way to overcome fear;
• make a drawing of fear, and then tear it apart - destroying the picture at the same time and helping the baby to control his emotions.

Sleeping room

Try to provide your child with a personal room if you are able to do so. The environment in the nursery should create a cozy and soothing atmosphere:

• Provide good sound insulation in the nursery so that nothing disturbs the baby’s sleep.
• Maintain the optimal microclimate in the room - Dr. Komarovsky recommends for children a temperature of 18 - 20 ° C and a humidity of about 50 - 70%.
• Ventilate the room regularly and do wet cleaning in it.
• Use bedding only from natural fabrics. It should always be fresh and clean, calm colors in light colors. You can also use bedding with your baby's favorite characters.
• Take care of the safety of the bed, check the absence of sharp protrusions.
• Using a radio or video babysitter will allow you to find out in a timely manner about your baby's restless sleep if he has his own room.
• A special night light or a favorite toy taken with you to bed will protect you from monsters and drive away fears.

Sleep difficulties. Therefore, in this article we will not dwell on this. Let's discuss what else can prevent a baby from sleeping, and why at 2 years old does he wake up at night and cry?

By the age of 2-3, sleep problems are more often psychological in nature. So watch your child and analyze the situation.

STRESS

What can cause stress in the life of such a little man? Let's think.

• May be you began to take the baby to Kindergarten? Then waking up in the middle of the night and crying may indicate the baby's adaptation to these new conditions, or overexcitation, or overwork and an overabundance of emotions from new conditions, toys and acquaintances. This is fine. The baby needs time to get used to this and adapt to the new regime and rules.

• Potty training? Well, yes, it is uncomfortable and unusual for the baby to wake up wet when there is no diaper. Try to make it softer. Teach a new skill during the day - without a diaper, and only then connect nightly training.

• Have guests arrived? The arrival of a grandmother whom the baby has not seen for a long time, or other acquaintances of yours, is a new experience for the fidget, and to cope with your emotions, you need time and the help of an adult. Plan the arrival of guests not at the time of putting the baby to bed, try to avoid noisy gatherings until late, which can bring down the crumbs. If, nevertheless, it was not possible to maintain the regimen and the baby did not sleep well at night, try to compensate for lack of sleep during daytime sleep. Remember, if during noisy gatherings your child “turns off” right in your arms, then this is not about the fact that he falls asleep perfectly, but about overwork and the protective reaction of the child's brain. Just in such situations, the child may wake up frequently during the night and cry or wake up very early in the morning. This is how it works - the stress hormone, which is produced during overwork and helps to “reach out” to sleep, but then the nervous system cannot completely relax, which leads to awakenings and crying.

GRAFT

Or maybe the day before you vaccinated baby? This can also affect the condition of the baby and his sleep, because it takes time for the body to develop antibodies.

NIGHTMARES AND FEARS

Nightmares and fears can also cause night awakenings of the baby with crying by 2-3 years. Do not discount the baby's fear, help comfort or create a safe environment. About this we have

LACK OF MOM DURING THE DAY.

Mom seems to be there, but she is busy with household chores or on the phone, and therefore there are no joint games with her. Or my mom went to work. Do you think this is a stressful situation for a child? And here we are not at all about mother's condemnations. This is her choice, but the child needs time to get used to this situation. Sometimes mom's going to work is useful for both mom and baby - as a way to switch and miss each other. If it helps the mother to be in the mood and maintain inner peace, then this is undoubtedly important for the calmness of the baby: the mother has the strength and resources to cope with bedding or whims, she trains endurance and patience, such a mother can give more to the baby. Or another situation: the mother returned from a vacation trip and the baby did not see her for several days. Do you think it's normal to want to be with her more often to make up for the lack of communication and affection? Pay more attention during the day, play together, sculpt, draw.

If you went to work, then you can get up early and play with the child to compensate for the lack of communication during the day, and be prepared that the baby has an increased need for tactile contact in the evening: to be in his arms, hug, caress, kiss.

EXAMINATION OF FEAR OF SEPARATION WITH MOTHER

By the age of 2, they sometimes face a crisis stage in the development of the baby. Here, for some children, the fear of separation from their mother may become aggravated due to the growing up and growth of the child's independence. Therefore, the baby needs more affection and tactile contact with his mother. This helps him painlessly survive this period and gives confidence in safety. In this way, parents contribute to the formation of a secure attachment between them and their child.

SLEEP CHANGE

There are also cases when baby falls asleep in one place and wakes up in another: he wakes up in the middle of the night crying because he was carried to his bed during sleep, for example. Let's imagine: you fell asleep in your bed in the evening, and woke up in the kitchen ... Mysticism? Well, to put it mildly, it is incomprehensible and creepy. The little man is frightened because the usual conditions under which he fell asleep are changing. It is you, adults, who can help make this process calmer and more enjoyable when you help teach you to be aware of this moment and not be afraid that tonight he will not wake up somewhere else. In addition, remember that the rules and rituals for falling asleep, the habitual sleeping conditions and his favorite toy, as well as a stable place to sleep, are important to the child. Help your child form healthy habits!

MOVING TO A PRIVATE ROOM

The same applies to Night awakenings, which may indicate that the child is frightened when he wakes up alone in a new room or does not yet understand where he is. Therefore, make the move to the nursery calm and gradual: play more in this room during the day, hang colorful drawings or pictures with your baby’s favorite characters, first you can organize daytime sleep in this room, and only then night dreams. Perhaps a method is suitable here when parents still help to fall asleep completely or when they wake up they are nearby until the baby falls asleep. Sometimes the first couple of nights, adults can sleep in the child's room, give him the opportunity to get used to the new environment with the support of an adult. But this should be temporary so that the child does not then require your presence all the time. This is especially true for more sensitive children. And here various motivating fairy tale therapy will help (about a hero who has become bold, for example) or watching cartoons with a similar theme (for example, “Little Raccoon”).

During the period of moving to a separate room, you do not need to start, otherwise it will be double stress for the baby. Give the opportunity to gradually adapt to new conditions.

OVEREXCITATION

Maybe your baby very excited before bed. Help create calm conditions for him and relieve stress. Eliminate 2 hours before bedtime, even in the background: often children can be impressed by some scenes that we don’t even pay attention to. No need to give gifts or show a new toy before going to bed: strong positive emotions also interfere with falling asleep. Overly active fidgets can benefit from muscle relaxation to relieve tension and tone and help relax the body. It’s also better to do it in a playful way: “Let’s buzz like a bee, brush ourselves off like a dog, jump like a grasshopper ...” But then it’s better to do this not just before going to bed, but at least half an hour before going to bed. In such situations, it is very important that the child be active during wakefulness and work out his physical activity for this mobile age: jump, run, attend children's classes, dance, tickle each other, arrange an “obstacle path” at home and help the baby “overcome” it. ".

PREPARATION FOR SLEEP

How long does it take getting your baby ready for bed?

It is important to understand that 10 minutes is not enough. And yet - is it interesting for you and the baby? Or does this process annoy you? Here you can think about diversifying (rituals) according to the age of the strong man. The child is already an adult, but he still needs certain consistent actions to move from activity to calmness. In addition, this is valuable time that he can spend with his mother when she is in full “access” to him! What can be here? Collect toys - it teaches you to order. You can do this in a playful way: who will collect faster, for example. Putting your favorite toy to bed, stroking it - do not forget that this form of tactility also helps children to relax. You can make a dream together with the baby! Who is so interesting that a baby can dream of? What amuses him? What event is he interested in? Dream flight? Or another story about a squirrel? And let it become a daily interesting fabulous event for the baby! But remember that classes before bedtime should be enjoyable for you too. Try to change your attitude towards bedtime and perceive it as a pleasant pastime with your baby.

Newborn babies (up to 1 month old) sleep differently than their parents. Almost half of the time the child spends in the so-called phase of REM sleep. It is necessary for the children's brain to grow and develop intensively. During this period, the pupils of the babies can move, the children begin to move their upper and lower limbs, grimace, smack their lips, thereby reproducing the process of breast sucking, make different sounds and whimper.

Such a dream is rather weak and disturbing, so the baby may cry and wake up from this. But more often it happens differently: the child cries for a few seconds, then calms down on his own and continues his nightly rest.

In addition, the duration of sleep is also different. For example, a baby under 1 month old will spend about 21 hours a day sleeping. Growing up, the child sleeps less and less, and at 1 year old, many children have 2 hours for daytime sleep and about 9 hours for night rest.

Thus, children's sleep is only being formed, "honed", established, therefore, failures in the form of short-term crying at night are not excluded. Usually such whimpering does not bother the child and his parents too much, but if the baby cries a lot in his sleep, the hidden reasons for this process should be established and the quality of rest should be improved.

Why does the baby cry at night?

If a child cries a lot at night, screams loudly and piercingly, you should definitely deal with the prerequisites for such behavior. Sometimes the culprits are the uncomfortable sensations experienced by the baby in a dream.

In other cases, night tears are a symptom of serious illness, especially if the child suddenly starts crying and does not stop for a long time. Experiencing pain, the baby tries to signal this to the parents. But since its capabilities are severely limited, screaming remains the most accessible method. Consider the main causes of night crying.

External factors

It is not uncommon for babies to cry because of discomfort caused by so-called external factors. Night crying may appear if parents do not take into account when laying:

• the temperature in the room (if perspiration appears on the skin, it means that it is hot in the nursery; if there are goosebumps on the skin, and the arms and legs are cold, the room is cool);
• the level of humidity in the nursery (if the room is too stuffy and dry, the child may dry up the mucous membranes of the nasal and oral cavities);
• dryness of the diaper (a baby 6 months old and younger may start crying if he feels in a dream that the diaper has become wet);
• the convenience of an undershirt, bed linen, pajamas (many children are extremely negative about creases in clothes, seams, folds and other inconveniences).

Such factors may seem frivolous only at first glance. Children at 2 or 3 months, not being able to roll over or otherwise correct the inconvenience, begin to cry and scream, attracting their mother's attention.

Internal factors

Answering the question why the baby cries in a dream, many experts point to the presence of internal factors. These include various diseases, hunger and other adverse conditions. Each of them deserves a more detailed description.

If the child cries a lot in a dream, then his state of health should be checked. Probably, the baby is unwell due to cutting teeth, inflammation of the middle ear, and a cold.

The gastrointestinal tract of an infant up to 3 or 4 months old only adapts to or artificial formula. The resulting gases are not fully expelled, which causes colic.

If a baby 2 or 3 months old begins to cry in his sleep, pull his legs up to his tummy, clench his fists, most likely he is worried about intestinal colic. Crying in this case will be even, prolonged and incessant.

To reduce soreness, the mother should review her own diet, follow the correct attachment to the breast, hold the baby in a column so that he burps excess milk and gets rid of gas. Another popular way to deal with colic is dill water.

The cause of pain can be such unpleasant conditions as a runny nose or inflammation of the middle ear. When the child lies in the crib, being in a horizontal position, the processes become aggravated, as a result of which the child cries and screams in his sleep.

Another likely cause of night crying is. Many children at 5 or 6 months teeth climb, which is accompanied by a decrease in appetite, high fever. The pain syndrome is especially intensified at night, hence the sobbing and crying in a dream.

Hunger

If the child cries in a dream and does not wake up, then the mother may assume a feeling of hunger. Satiety is an important condition for a quiet night's rest, either at 3 months or at 2 years. Correcting the situation is quite simple - the child is given milk or formula.

Do not overfeed the baby, otherwise he will constantly wake up, cry because of a feeling of fullness in the stomach or terrible dreams.

It would seem that you need to physically load the baby as much as possible so that he goes to bed “without hind legs”. However, there is an inverse relationship here: if the parents missed the optimal time for sleep, overloaded the child with exercises, games, then he will hardly fall asleep.

When he closes his eyes, fatigue will not allow him to sleep normally. A small child will wake up with tears or whimper in his sleep, which, of course, will affect his well-being. This behavior is especially characteristic of excitable babies.

Experts advise to act in the same way, regardless of the age of the child. Both a one-month-old baby and a one-year-old toddler should go to bed before they start crying from overwork. You should also not get carried away with massage, games and gymnastic exercises.

An overabundance of emotions and information

Is the baby crying in his sleep? Perhaps this is due to excitement and excessive emotional fatigue. A child that is at 5 months, that in the same way reacts to informational and emotional glut.

• an excess of emotions and experiences during the day, especially in the evening, lead to the fact that babies cry in their sleep. Thus, night tears are a reaction of children to strong emotional stress;
• experts advise turning on the TV when the child is two years old. However, many parents introduce cartoons and television programs when the kids are not yet 9 months old. This overloads the nervous system.

Minimize the contact of the child with the TV and especially the computer during the day. It is especially important to stop watching cartoons before going to bed. Also, you should not overly overload the baby with communication with peers and strangers.

If the child wakes up at night and cries loudly, the reason for this is probably bad dreams. Up to a year, dreams are not so vivid, but after a specified age, night visions become more and more realistic, which affects the quality of rest.

In a dream, the baby does not always see something pleasant, and this is completely normal. However, if such terrible dreams happen regularly and the child constantly cries in his sleep, you need to think about what is the source of nightmares.

Psychological problems

If a child often whimpers at night, but at the same time he is absolutely healthy physically, one can assume the presence of some kind of psychological problem.

A baby at 2 or 3 years old can react sharply to a strong emotional impression. Such a shock often becomes a sharp change in his life: adaptation to kindergarten, the appearance of a brother / sister, moving to another place of residence.

Why does a newborn cry in his sleep? Perhaps this is how he reacts to the psychological state of the mother. If there are problems in a relationship with a spouse, a woman is under stress due to fatigue, the baby will definitely feel it and express it in the form of a bad dream.

Often, nighttime restlessness is the first and most obvious sign of diseases of the nervous system. That is why, with repeated cases of children crying at night, parents should definitely show the child to a neurologist.

What to do if the child cries at night?

If a child rarely cries in a dream, without waking up, you should not be scared. Perhaps these are one-time cases. But with a constant night roar, it is necessary, if possible, to establish and eliminate the factors that prevent a good rest:

The well-known pediatrician E. O. Komarovsky is convinced that only rested parents can establish a good sleep. If the mother does not sleep enough, is in constant stress, then the child feels this tension, which is expressed in night crying. Therefore, adults should also get enough sleep.

As a conclusion

So, answering the question why a baby cries in a dream, we found many provoking factors. The main task of parents is to pay attention to the crying baby, try to establish the true "culprit" of children's tears and respond correctly.

Some children in this way require their mother's presence or signal discomfort, while others require qualified medical assistance. But in any case, maternal tenderness and love will not interfere with all the kids!

For children of all ages, sleep is very important. This is not just a rest after activity, at this time the information that the baby receives during the day is assimilated, his mental development is improved. Therefore, sleep must be strong and healthy, so that he enters the new day cheerful, ready for new experiences. Not all children are able to sleep through the night. It is considered normal if the child gets up for physiological reasons or if he is hungry. But often the child wakes up at night with a tantrum, and the parents do not know how to calm him down so as not to frighten and harm him.

Content:

What is considered a hysteria

Many mothers at least once got up because of the crying of their 2-3-year-old child, who had previously slept peacefully, waking up only when he wanted to go to the toilet or have a bite to eat. It is quite easy to distinguish a tantrum from ordinary nighttime awakenings. This is a strong nervous excitement, often uncontrolled, manifested in screaming, tears. Trembling, uncontrolled movements of arms and legs are possible. An anxious child may not recognize his parents, pushing them away and even hitting them.

Night tantrums are often confused with whims, which manifest themselves, like the daytime whims of a child. The baby begins to cry because he needs his mother's attention. As soon as the mother is nearby or he gets what he wanted, the child calms down and falls asleep on his own.

If the parents fail to calm down, on the contrary, the baby screams more from touch, breaks out, breathing becomes intermittent, the forehead is covered with sweat, we are talking about hysteria. They can be single, repeated after a long period of time or not repeated at all. But more worrying is the recurrence of similar situations almost every night. Here it is already worth thinking about taking action as soon as possible.

Doctors do not advise immediately attributing this condition to pathologies. As a rule, there are no deviations of a mental and neurological nature here. In most cases, time passes and children outgrow this period. This does not mean that you should wait for a moment without doing anything. It is necessary to understand the reasons.

Causes of night tantrums

The physiology of sleep is quite complex. Sleep consists of fast and slow phases, replacing each other throughout the night. And if an adult is dominated by a slow phase, when the body is relaxed and the brain is resting, then in children, especially younger ones, the phase of REM sleep prevails.

During this period, the brain is processing the information received during the day. You can observe how the baby's eyes move under closed eyelids, he twitches his arms and legs, pronounces sounds, words, even whole sentences.

In babies, REM sleep is observed throughout the night. The older the child gets, the longer slow, deep sleep becomes. During REM sleep, dreams occur, which most often cause tantrums in many children. It can be like bad dreams, nightmares, or just an abundance of impressions. This is comparable to the moment of wakefulness, when the child cries from overwork and a lot of emotions. The same thing happens when he sleeps, only he experiences all this in a dream, not yet being able to distinguish a dream from reality.

What exactly causes tantrums in a child at night, this is what parents should figure out.

Unhealthy family environment

Little kids are very sensitive to negative energy. If there is a tense atmosphere in the house (quarrels, scandals, or a constantly tired, irritated mother), all this will certainly affect the child's psyche. During the day, when adults loudly sort things out, insulting each other, the child is able to hide in a secluded corner and quietly observe what is happening, and at night he will experience this horror again. Feeling the weak protection of mom and dad, the baby sees nightmares and wakes up in tears.

Important! You need to learn to sort things out outside the room where there are children. It will be ideal if adults learn how to conduct dialogues without raising their voices. You can not drag the crumbs into the conflict! Mothers who take it out on their children should remember that the smallest irritation is a big tragedy for a son or daughter.

Fears and nightmares

Nightmares are usually associated with increased emotional stress. If during the day the mother seriously scolded the baby, he quarreled with a friend on the playground, watched TV for a long time before going to bed, where they showed the terrible Baba Yaga or the “ugly and evil uncle” from an adult film, then at night these fears will return to the child, and tantrums will be avoided is unlikely to succeed.

Watching TV should be limited, especially before bed. When the tantrum happened, the little one needs to be reassured by stroking his head and whispering warm words to him. If necessary, turn on a soft light (a night lamp or a sconce with a very weak glow - ideal for a nursery). It is a good practice to put your child to bed with their favorite soft toy, which is sure to “protect” from bad dreams.

Wrong daily routine

Some modern parents popularize education “without limits”: you can make some noise and run wherever your beloved child wants, and eat and relax when you want. But there is nothing good in the fact that the child wakes up for dinner, and fits into a night's sleep deep after midnight, no. The nervous system is depleted, problems with sleep appear.

The daily routine needs to be normalized. The procedure for going to bed should be pleasant and last at least an hour: play interesting but calm games, take a warm bath, perhaps with soothing herbs recommended by a pediatrician, read books or listen to music.

hyperactive children

There are more and more such guys, because modern life dictates its own rules. Parents trying to make a genius out of a child, alas, often overdo it. From Monday to Sunday, the baby attends many circles, sections, events. But they do not always maintain such a rhythm.

It happens that the hyperactive child himself requires such a busy life, but you need to think about whether he has time to play with peers or do what he likes on his own. Bright weekdays carry a big load that the baby does not feel. But at night all this manifests itself in the form of whims arising from overwork.

On a note: It is imperative to develop the child, but this must be done not contrary to health. Parents should leave time "for childhood" so that their son or daughter grows up not only smart and well-rounded, but also healthy.

Of course, health problems can also be the cause of a child’s nighttime tantrums. In little ones, it is more often teeth, colic, neurological problems. Then this issue is better to decide with a doctor. It is worth seeking advice if the situation has not improved at the age of 7-8 years (at this time, as a rule, children's tantrums at night stop).

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What Not to Do

Parents whose children often wake up at night need to remember that the baby is already frightened, most likely, by a terrible dream, you should not frighten him even more. You can not scream at the child, trying to wake him up completely, sharply douse or splash water in the face, especially cold. You can’t slap on the cheeks and even more so beat, no matter how tired the parent is.

Some mothers share their experience when, with indomitable night crying, a sharp breath in the face helps them. But what works for one doesn't always work for others. If such a practice has not been applied, it is better not to use it. When blowing in the face of a crying child, this causes a temporary delay in breathing (on which the method is based), but the inability of the child to inhale can frighten him even more, and then the tantrum will develop into a panic. The consequences can be the most unexpected: from a slight startle to serious neurological problems, such as stuttering.

How to deal with a night tantrum

First of all, you should find out and eliminate the reasons why the child wakes up at night:

1. Organize daily routineby determining the time for daytime sleep for children under 5-6 years old.
2. Retirement for a night's sleep should be calm, excluding too active and noisy games.
3. For some time, while the tantrums are repeated, it is better for the mother to sleep in the baby's room, so that when he wakes up from a nightmare, he is not even more scared when he does not see his parents nearby. Psychologists, as an alternative, offer a soft toy with which the child will fall asleep.
4. Hyperactive children are best shown to a pediatrician and a pediatric neurologist. Perhaps they will recommend drugs designed specifically for children that relieve excessive arousal.

The best thing a mother can do is to take the child in her arms and try to calm him down with strokes, light rhythmic taps on the back, whisper that she is there, nothing bad will happen.

If the child is actively fighting back, there is no way to calm him down, you should not wait for the tantrum to end on its own, because this may not happen. In some cases, particularly impressionable babies have a fever, convulsions, even epileptic seizures. A soft cloth soaked in cool (but not cold) water will help to bring the child to his senses. It should wipe the forehead, cheeks, chest, stomach, legs and arms of the child. From the temperature contrast, the child will most likely come to his senses, stop screaming and fighting back, and then he can be picked up.

If the baby can speak, then in the morning you need to ask him about the cause of the tantrum. For example, mom and dad will be able to explain a bad dream by telling the baby that everything they see is not reality. And no one will dare to offend a son or daughter.

Quite a bit of time will pass, and the night tantrums that tormented your beloved child will pass. According to statistics, by the age of four or five, they disappear completely. If the problem is permanent, and in the daytime the child also behaves very aggressively, then you should be wary. Such behavior signals a neurological disease, for example, increased intracranial pressure, which parents cannot recognize on their own.

Video: Dr. Komarovsky about a bad dream. How to improve your baby's sleep and sleep

Starting at about 2 years old, many children who have already learned to sleep through the night suddenly shock their parents with nocturnal awakenings. The child wakes up and cries as if something frightened him, or cries in the middle of the night without waking up, but looks very disturbed. What happens and what to do if you had a bad dream?

Children who wake up crying because of a nightmare or for some other unknown reason must be reassured. The main thing is to react calmly and efficiently: do not turn on bright lights and talk as little as possible (so that they do not wake up completely). Pet them or lull them just a little, just letting them know that everything is fine.

When your child wakes up from "bad dreams", he needs comfort. Reassure him by simply saying, "It was a bad dream. It's all over now. You're all right, Mom (or Dad) is here. You can sleep."

I know that parents often ask their children questions, asking what happened, how they feel, and so on. But if you engage in a conversation with a child, he will “walk around” even more. He does not need questions, but your pacifying presence. Reassure your child that he is not in danger. Just help him fall asleep again.

Why does a child wake up crying

Surely you are wondering why the child suddenly started having nightmares, because before they were not. It has to do with a certain stage of maturation. Along with speech, imagination begins to develop. During the day, a child can imagine something good: "I'm Superman!", "I'm baking pancakes for dad", but can also imagine something terrible - monsters, fires, angry dogs with huge fangs, or that mom and dad are leaving his. Fears, anger and anxiety experienced during the day penetrate into his dreams. "If I can get mad at Mom and Dad, does that mean they can get mad at me?"

Terrible dreams are characteristic of children from two years old and a little older. One of my sons would break into my bedroom at two or three in the morning with his heart pounding and his breath hitching. I knew that he dreamed something terrible. Sometimes he cried. He sat with me in an embrace for several minutes, after which he calmed down. I felt his breathing recover and his body relax. I carried or escorted him to bed, kissed him, and he calmly fell asleep.

My other child needed to be cradled in my arms, reassured that a bad dream would not harm him, until he finally reached for his bed, showing me that he was ready to lie down and sleep. All this took no more than five minutes.

Parents may panic at first because of nightmares, especially if they have never heard a child scream in the middle of the night. Don't worry: fears, anger and anxiety are natural during the period of growing up. The only pity is that it interferes with sleep!

What if the baby wakes up crying all week long? In this case, think about what is happening to him. Although nightmares are a reaction to what happened to him during the day, they usually do not occur every night. Is it difficult for your child to get used to using the toilet? Then don't rush it. Maybe he is watching something scary on TV (although neither parents nor older brothers and sisters think this is scary)? Or are you talking too much about the fact that he will go to a new kindergarten, and before that there is still a whole month? Think about what is happening with the child, and try to eliminate stressors.

The first two nights my son had night terrors (until I found out what they were) were the scariest nights of my life. Night terrors are different from nightmares and only occur in a small percentage of children. Usually, fear manifests itself in the early phase of a child’s sleep and on those nights when something disrupted his usual schedule (left on vacation, someone came to visit from another city). Although it is not easy for parents to survive children's nightly fears, they do not pose a particular danger to the child.

At first, you might think that the child had a nightmare. But the difference is that the child is not awake, but asleep. He sleeps very soundly and cannot wake up, although his eyes will be wide open. He may cry, he may call you, but even if you are around, he does not understand this and may shout at you and drive you away.

In the morning, the child will not even remember this incident (because he was sleeping). I advise you not to question the child and not to tell anything about it. Usually, after the child made a noise and cried, he again sleeps peacefully, as if nothing had happened.

Night terrors can last five minutes or half an hour. The most important thing in this situation is to ensure the safety of the child so that he does not get hurt. Some children will let you pick them up, others will push you away and go on a rampage if you touch them. It is best to wait out this moment and calm down yourself.

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