How to be ready for anything and not fuss in unforeseen situations. Powerful Ways to Boost Your Confidence

How to gain confidence? How to learn to feel more confident? How to become more confident? How to raise self-esteem? How to stop being shy? How to get rid of complexes? Actionable advice from Melannette!

Self-confidence is certainly an important quality for every person. Self-confidence is what starts success in life, happiness in life, it is a kind of foundation for all important life processes in general. Self-confidence is something that some are born with, and some tremblingly cultivate in themselves throughout their life journey. Self-confidence is especially important for women, because as the well-known saying goes, until you love yourself, no one will love you. By the way, self-love is one of the most important components of self-confidence, so it is very important to really love yourself. This is not narcissism, not selfishness, and not self-centeredness. Self-love is respect for oneself, it is a desire for a better future for oneself, it is not just a desire for comfort and satisfaction of basic needs, it is a whole philosophy. However, let's talk about confidence. What do you need to do to become more confident?

Become more confident and get rid of complexes: what needs to be done for this?

If you really want to become more confident and are clearly aware that a number of complexes do not allow you to live normally, that you feel constrained, that you are shy, or something like that, then you should immediately begin to neutralize this effect. Just think what career and personal prospects would open up for you if you were at least a little more confident in yourself! So practical advice.

Take a piece of paper and write on it absolutely everything that you like about your appearance. It can be hair, skin, figure, some details - a mole on the cheek, a beautiful nose, long eyelashes. Reread the list from time to time: this will serve as a reminder of your best features, because in everyday life we forget about such things. It will elevate your mood and boost your self-confidence.
Take another piece of paper and write on it the personal qualities you are proud of, as well as your achievements that you are proud of. It can be kindness and responsiveness or the ability to quickly find ways out of difficult situations. Achievements can also range from quitting smoking to completing a half marathon.
Buy yourself new shoes and a dress. New clothes always make girls happy and make them more confident. By the way, periodic revision of the wardrobe is extremely important in general: immediately get rid of things with which something is wrong and which make you feel insecure.
Find something new for yourself and devote yourself to it at least for a while in order to achieve any results. It can be an entry to the gym and some kind of sports challenge. It can be drawing, playing musical instruments. Even the goal of reading as many books as you can over a given period works. This is necessary so that you begin to be proud of your achievement and become more confident in yourself on this basis.
Watch your posture. A person with a straight back is always more confident than a stooped one.
Appearance is extremely important for every woman and often our confidence depends on it. Exuding self-confidence with a stale head and sloppy manicure is quite difficult, so if you have any complaints about your own appearance, then they should be eliminated (but without fanaticism! no need to make an appointment with a plastic surgeon!).

Beauty and health marathons from Melannett is another way to gain more confidence. During the marathon, exercises are performed that improve the elasticity of the skin, making it fresh, the muscles of the face are tightened, and, among other things, the posture is significantly corrected. Just from five to forty-five minutes a day, a few weeks - and you will begin to feel many times more confident than before!

People like it when they succeed. But often, due to a lack of courage and self-confidence, people miss opportunities, they are afraid to say something. There is a feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself, dissatisfaction with one's life. It is difficult to fix this situation, but it is possible. How to feel confident in life, read on and start doing it right now!

Start with appearance

Of course, self-confidence starts in the head. But it is better to back it up externally. Go to the mirror, what do you see there? The shoulders are straightened, the head is raised, the stomach is pulled in, and the legs are not bent at the knees. Not? Then you need to straighten up for three counts. One - shoulders forward so that the back is rounded. Two - lift them up, as if shaking. Three - take your shoulders as far back as possible and lower them. And then another person is reflected in the mirror. The head is raised, the chest is forward, the stomach does not stick out, the legs are even. And you immediately feel more confident. Of course, you will have to watch your posture and not allow yourself to “hunch over”. This is not the easiest task, but you can make such sacrifices for yourself.

Posture is followed by gait. To feel confident on the street, you need to straighten up, straighten your shoulders, raise your head. You shouldn't walk around with your head down. This not only betrays a dull person, but also harms the appearance. Wrinkles appear on the neck, which are difficult to get rid of, and the chin is deformed, which can cause the second and third ones to appear. Having adopted the correct posture, watch your step so as not to “clubfoot”, do not “short” and do not wave your arms too much when walking. If you wear shoes with heels, you need to be careful not to walk on half-bent legs. Of course, it happens that you get very tired, and it’s more difficult to walk in high heels all day. Then it is better to make a choice in favor of low-speed shoes, because a girl walking like a duck is a very funny and at the same time pathetic sight.

There are no trifles in life, in order to feel confident, you need to look confident. Even when just sitting. Sitting straight, free, not leaning on the table - it would seem that it could be easier. But most of us are not used to sitting like that. Therefore, you need to practice at home, watching TV or talking on the phone. Gradually, the habit of sitting evenly and beautifully will be developed, but at first self-control is still necessary.

You feel confident in life if you look good. A well-groomed woman is always beautiful. Dirty clothes, bad smells or unkempt nails should never be tolerated. When you have a one hundred percent view, you feel self-confidence, and the people around you notice it too.

Take on the inner world

When you have established external confidence, move on to internal. Of course, you can do the opposite, but morale can drag on for a long time. And when half the work is ready, it is easier to proceed further.

The voice is a very important instrument in our life. In normal situations, he should sound calm and confident. Very often in shops or restaurants you can meet people who, as if afraid and apologizing, talk to the attendants. In the same way, we then communicate with colleagues at work, clients, neighbors. Therefore, speaking confidently and feeling superior in life is very important. You can work out again in shops or restaurants. When asking a salesperson in a store, or placing an order in a restaurant, watch your voice. It should not tremble and be too quiet, the tone should be confident. In the end, you are the client and the master of the situation, you have no one to fear and nothing to apologize for. Again, once you develop the habit, over time you will be able to communicate with everyone equally easily.

To feel confident in life, it is important to have a large circle of acquaintances. And for them to appear, it is necessary to master communication skills. The first thing you need to do is learn how to maintain a conversation. Very often in an unfamiliar company, or even surrounded by colleagues or classmates, we can behave closed and silent all the time. Usually such people become invisible over time, they are no longer noticed. Therefore, you should always try to keep the conversation going. We already have a confident posture, a neat appearance, we can speak in a normal voice. So there is no need to be ashamed of other people. Most likely, they are as shy as you are, they just learned to disguise it. You need to enter into conversations, not being afraid to chat something wrong. In any case, the experience of communicating not only with relatives will add self-confidence and help you better find a common language with other people. And any statement can always be translated into a joke.

And, most importantly, don't forget to praise yourself. Everyone knows the method of auto-training, when a person, by his own efforts, persuades himself to change with the help of kind words and approval. You don't always get praise from strangers when you want to. People are often busy with themselves, they do not have time to single out someone else from the crowd. But you have a person who closely follows your successes and victories, you yourself. By working on yourself, you can achieve a lot. Praise yourself first, and the rest will certainly notice changes for the better and also begin to admire an interesting and self-confident woman - you!

How difficult and long way you need to walk in order to educate and grow it in yourself?

I wonder how faith in one's own strength and trust in one's own personality begins? Your opinion?

It turns out that confident behavior is the result of confident thinking. How a person presents himself, so he looks. And he acts on the basis of internal attitudes, ideas about himself.

How to become confident?

You can start with the simplest thing - to portray a confident person in any life situations. In the supermarket, in the pool, on the street, among colleagues, in the subway. Here the well-known law of the transition of quantity into qualitative changes will work. You will show more, with each action you will become more confident. Step, one more, next. And the process has begun! With every step better, more natural, more persistent.

So you can outsmart your thinking, fixated on patterns. You can easily and unobtrusively rebuild, imagining yourself as an actor who selflessly and talentedly plays a role. You decide when to release the actor on stage, when to turn the "switch" to turn it off. You are in complete control of the situation. We decided that at the party you will be embarrassed - there will be strangers there, so go ahead. Feel good! With all my might! Tired? Flip the "switch" - choose confident behavior, communicate on an equal footing, with dignity and self-respect.

How to look confident?

Absolutely in the history of your life there were moments when you were a confident person.

Remember them.

Perhaps in childhood, when you helped your little sister fasten her sandals, or at school, when you recited a learned poem with pleasure. Or in your youth, when you won in sports.

Or in situations where you were among close and dear people, when you spoke to an audience or talked with some person.

Reproduce in your memory the intonations, how you spoke, how you breathed, how you moved, how you gesticulated, what position were you in? How did the voice sound, what did the face express, what were the sensations?

Now, in order to “turn on” a confident person in yourself, repeat all this, copy the posture, pace and volume of speech, gestures - enter the desired state. There is no need to invent anything, you have already been in this place - in the body, you were such a person, now you remember this and make it your natural state.

When you are self-confident, others perceive your dignity, self-confidence, self-respect. And they strengthen you even more in these feelings.

Space. A confident person settles well in space. Fully occupy the proposed chair or armchair, lean back, use the armrests. Make broad gestures, on a grand scale, expanding your area of influence. Differ from the insecure one, who, on the contrary, tends to shrink, shrink, take up as little space as possible, sit on the edge of a chair, limit himself to mean gestures.
No fuss. Is there a model of a confident person for you? Who is it? Margaret Thatcher? Angelina Jolie? Ivan Urgant? Sylvester Stallone? Or someone else? Imagine your ideal, which nervously bounces in a chair, fidgets, intensely fiddling with a tie, pounding a drum roll with his fingers on the table. Yes, it's hard to imagine. Confidence is incompatible with vanity. Take her away.
Straight posture. In any position, standing and sitting, maintain an even posture. It allows you to radiate confidence, feel it and look like a confident person. Practice: chest forward, shoulders back, keep your head level in a horizontal and vertical plane. Imagine that a string comes out of your crown and pulls you into the sky. Remember this posture and merge with it.
The pace of speech. When someone chatters, speaks quickly, it is difficult for him to be confident and independent. A confident person speaks with feeling, with sense, with an arrangement, without tension. He knows that he will not be interrupted, he will be allowed to speak. The pace of speech is average, smooth. Take it as a rule, the more you worry, get nervous, the slower and calmer you speak, pause. Speak as if you are communicating with a child and it is important for you that he understands you.
Me, me and me again. Speak in the first person. Use phrases: I think, I think, I decided, I found out, I support, I disagree, I think differently. Feel free to express exactly your opinion, do not hide behind the streamlined and impersonal “we”, “all”, “joint decision”, “everyone”. Avoid excuses!
Eye contact. A confident person shifts the focus from themselves to others. He is not fixated on himself, he is interested in the interlocutor and the world around him. Therefore, a direct open look is very important and helps to be confident, makes people understand your interest. In communication, you connect not only your hearing, but also an additional channel of perception, “listen with your eyes”, perceive and understand the interlocutor more clearly.
Dignity. Take the example of the king of beasts, the lion. What plasticity, strength and power he has in his movements. Slowly, with dignity, confidently, elegantly. To be more confident, slow down your movements. Move like a king. Your movements should be smooth, meaningful, thoughtful, unhurried.
Acceptance of yourself and others. Be calm, friendly and benevolent, even if the interlocutor does not agree with you or you with him. Believe in yourself, in your point of view. Yours doesn't make people think the same way you do. Yours is to be respected.
Gesture of a confident person - spire gesture. The fingertips of one hand touch the tips of the other hand at an acute angle, forming a spire. This is a signal of confidence and calmness. Use it as an additional way to confidently behave.
Don't try to please everyone. You need to be good, first of all, for yourself. Your confidence should not depend on how, when and how they evaluate and accept you.
Pauses. Insecure people are afraid of silence, they are afraid of silence and quickly break it. You do not need to "get out of your skin" to fill every second, albeit meaningless, but chatter. Pause before answering. small. One or two seconds. Think about what you heard, what the interlocutor wanted to convey to you. This will give you confidence and help you master the situation in communication.
Laugh. Don't giggle. You are not in the circus. Giggling is a sign of insecurity and instability. Appreciate good jokes: smile or laugh quietly.
Nodding disease. If you listen to the interlocutor and agree with him, you don’t need to continuously nod your head - you are not a “Chinese dummy”. You are a serious, confident person. A couple of head tilts in agreement are sufficient.
Secret and obvious. Being in any situation: in or with people, in the rays of the sun or in the dark - do not do what you will be ashamed of in front of you. Act in accordance with your principles, do not prevaricate, and she will reward you with the foundation of the foundations on which self-confidence and high self-confidence will be kept.
I don't know and I'm not afraid. If you want to be trusted, never be afraid to admit that you don't know something. “I have not yet faced such a challenge. Right now I don't have an answer to that question." It is impossible to know everything. Realize this and speak boldly about what you do not know. This will help you further build your confidence.

Friends, everyone has absolutely everything they need in order to be sure, starting today, from this moment. You do not need to read additional literature for this, make an appointment with a psychologist, or undergo trainings. Just decide to be the confident person, flip the switch and turn on the new personality. Good luck!

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Have you ever found it difficult to say “no” to an unacceptable request from your boss, your significant other, children or parents? If so, then you need special training. According to psychologists who study human behavior, when raising self-confidence, you need to remember that the ability to defend your rights depends on how developed your self-esteem or pride is. If you constantly fail to protect your interests, you eventually begin to feel dissatisfied with yourself, feel like a person disrespected, suppressed and even oppressed by others.

Lack of self-confidence can manifest itself to varying degrees in one or another area of a person's life. Some people simply cannot express their thoughts openly, especially when they feel that their words will not bring joy to the interlocutor. For others, because of shyness and embarrassment, it is difficult not only to speak - even to meet the eyes of another person. Insecure behavior - whether it be the inability to demand the return of a debt or the inability to refuse a friend's request - as a rule, is based on a wide variety of, often subconscious fears. However, the desire to always and in everything be trouble-free can turn into a different side, involve you in completely undesirable situations and lead to severe depression.

Fortunately, there is a way out. Proponents of self-confidence training argue that through self-management, behavioral situations at home, and role-playing (in a hospital or at home with friends), one can learn to feel more relaxed in personal relationships, at work, in public places and in other situations that we face every day. This is a good way to break through the wall of prejudices and restrictions that prevent a person from expressing themselves.

With the help of the exercise technique, you can get out of the rut of your habitual behavior that depresses your pride. You can start this training on your own or with a specialist. The first step is to answer simple questions that will help you identify the problems that are most painful for you.

Consultants suggest starting with key points like:

Do you get lost when faced with a difficult task at work?

Are you afraid to call or otherwise warn a person when you are late for a meeting with him?

can you insist on discussing an issue that is important to you with your boss or co-workers?

Is it difficult for you to return defective goods or bargain with the seller?

Are you satisfied with the intimate side of your life?

Are you ready to demand the salary you think you deserve?

do you have the courage to refuse work or some public assignments if you already have a lot of work to do?

In addition to answering these questions, add a list of all the situations in which you feel insecure, restless, or that might upset you in some way. Once you have identified all the situations in which you usually fail to stand your ground, analyze the reasons for your own weakness. Free yourself from fears and fears - do not be afraid to appear angry, hurt or be interrupted in mid-sentence. Then consider ways you can change your behavior so that you become more spontaneous and achieve the desired outcome.

Now that you know where you are and in what direction you need to move, you can start "homework" to develop a sense of self-confidence. By doing it, you must learn to fully express your feelings - from hatred to love - and behave in a way that does not contradict your new positive image. This training also aims to teach you to find the golden mean between being too assertive and being passive.

Whether you're working on your own, with a friend, with a support group, or with a professional, you'll have to rigorously complete special assignments that require some effort from you to achieve positive results. Homework includes, for example, an exercise when you need to resist another person in a difficult interpersonal situation. A woman suffering from the aggressiveness of her husband, as a way of confronting, needs to express her opinion about him in a calm manner, without threats. A man who thinks he works too much and gets too little may be tasked with making a plan to talk to his boss about resolving the problem.

Another typical task is to eradicate the disadvantage of indulging in any desires of others, for example, constantly lending a car to a friend, although you do not want to do this at all. In this case, after carefully studying this side of weak-willed behavior (the first stage of the training process), you may come to the conclusion that you need convincing and logical reasons for refusing the request, since nothing terrible happened when you borrowed a car in the past and now you don't feel confident that you can refuse in the future.

This is the perfect moment to reclaim your rights and stand your ground, rather than follow fallible logic, experts say. They also warn against confusing self-confidence with aggressiveness. A self-confident person expresses his own feelings openly and calmly and inspires respect in others with his honesty and courage. Unlike an aggressive person, he does not need increased harsh tones, submission to his will or revenge. If you, for example, refuse a friend's request to borrow a car, this does not mean that you want to quarrel with him. Instead of getting mad at him, treating him coldly, or making up some kind of excuse, you use the learned skill of being assertive and just say, “No, I get really anxious when I give someone my car.” Since this is a personal opinion, it is difficult to argue with him. Training that develops confidence and perseverance, while respecting and shading feelings such as anxiety and insecurity, teaches you to gain respect for yourself.

If your friend decides to still argue with you, then it's time to resort to the acquired skill in defending your opinion. Experts call it "a broken record." Be relentless. Stand firm on your own. And do not be afraid that in the end you will falter. In this case, you might be better off saying, “Maybe you're right in insisting that I lend you a car. You explain everything very logically, but I think differently.

By exposing your true feelings to others, you actually become stronger, not weaker. It's hard for people to argue with your own beliefs. By being open about your feelings, you let them know that if they were you, they would do the same.

Perseverance and confidence training is taught by many psychologists and other private practitioners, and is also included in university programs and classes, Sunday seminars, and professional symposiums. Used in school curricula, this technique also showed quite impressive results.

Hello dear readers! Agree, confidence helps to achieve success in the intended business. In addition, insecure people are less likely to take on something new out of fear of failure. How to feel confident in any situation? Is it possible to be prepared for everything? Today's article will help you create your recipe for self-confidence.

Let's dig into ourselves a little.

Let's not dig deep. Let's just try to look at ourselves from the outside in two opposite situations. To begin with, let's figure out in what situations you feel confident, calm.

What helps you not to panic, fuss and lose your temper?

Many people feel confident in their professional field. The surgeon operates perfectly and does not experience stress in the operating room (except for extremely difficult situations, of course). The singer will easily sing his favorite songs to the audience, even without being ready. A dog breeder will tell you everything about their favorite breeds and answer almost any question about pet care.

In our field, we feel free. We confidently rely on our knowledge and experience, easily share our thoughts and impressions, and can easily solve any problem related to our work. In fact, a person feels confident when he knows what to do.

So, we move on to the second question that you should ask yourself - in what situations do I get lost and do not know what to do. Try to understand what unbalances you, why you start to fuss, get nervous.

Maybe an awkward question hurts you?
Or an inappropriate comment?
Please help in what you do not understand?
Rudeness on the street puts you in a dead end?

To be more confident in life, find your strengths and weak sides. Understand what helps you concentrate, what helps you get to the heart of the problem, and what, on the contrary, distracts and interferes. When you understand these issues, then you can develop your assistants and get rid of obstacles.

You Can't Be Prepared for Everything

In life, situations often occur that we could not foresee, force majeure, emergencies. Yes, it is impossible to be prepared for any circumstances. Understand it, accept it and relax. You are not a divine being, you are a person who can make mistakes, be unprepared, who can get confused.

Give yourself some freedom. Don't scold for mistakes.

Stable and comfortable will not always be. But it is force majeure that allows you to see how you react in such circumstances, how you behave, what distracts you, what helps. Use it, gain experience, train for further victories.

Emergencies give you the opportunity to test yourself in action. And you can prepare for them. Not to a specific situation, but in general. How does an unforeseen situation affect a person? Fear, panic, fussiness, nervous tension.

First, accept that in such a situation, the first thing you will experience is fear and panic. Caught these feelings and you can calm down.

Secondly, you can find a way out of any situation. Remember that decisions are best made with common sense. Therefore, proceed slowly and judiciously. Give yourself time to find a solution. Over time, you will react and act faster.

Critical thinking

Let's get the concepts straight. By the word critical, we mean thinking that evaluates, analyzes, can question, and draws conclusions from the arguments presented. Criticism is not understood here as a negative judgment or a search for flaws.

At school, to my great regret, they do not teach to think critically, and this is one of the most important things in life - to be able to analyze, question judgments, draw conclusions, and so on. This helps to calmly relate to various situations, helps to easily and naturally look for a solution.

If that's not your forte, don't worry. No matter how old you are now, you can easily learn to think critically. TRIZ (the theory of inventive problem solving) will help you with this. I myself have recently become acquainted with this direction. Don't take the word inventive as something scary.

TRIZ helps to find unusual and non-standard solutions and answers to the most confusing questions. The concept of setting a task is revealed, because often problems begin at the level of a question. How to increase the level of sales, which kindergarten to send the child to, how best to go shopping - thanks to this technique, you can learn how to quickly and in an original way solve any life tasks.

Add Your Ingredients to the Confidence Recipe

Return to the first point. Your strengths and weaknesses. Make your list of helpers for your confidence. Knowing that you are nervous without a phone in your pocket, always carry it with you. Is it easier for you to be with someone in society than to be alone? Take a friend with you to important events.

Since we are stressed in an unexpected situation, relaxation techniques are the right solution. Breathing techniques help me. Today they are endless. Choose the one that suits you best and use it in a tense moment to come to your senses and calm down.

Develop your vocabulary, oratory, negotiation skills, study. All this will help a lot when interacting with people. Pay attention to your communication skills.

A sense of humor often helps me a lot in unforeseen situations. Especially when you can laugh at yourself. Self-criticism kills criticism. If you can smile when you've done something ridiculous, then the feeling of awkwardness will go away very quickly.

I bring to your attention the book by Dale Carnegie " How to stop worrying and start living". Remember, many problems live only in our head and do not exist in reality.

What drives you crazy? What situation are you nervous about and do not find a place for yourself? What helps you deal with unpredictability? What are your strengths? Do you know how to use them?