What is a binding. How to get rid of attachments. Practical psychology

Getting used to a person is a process that happens incredibly quickly, while weaning is characterized by a long period of time and pain. Attachment, which psychologists also call, can disrupt the perception of reality, deprive a person of will. This feeling seems to bind and hold a person, completely depriving him of independence. Losing connection in the process of parting, a person seems to lose support, it is time to regain autonomy. Today we propose to talk about how to get rid of attachment to a man after breaking up with him.

Causes of emotional dependence

Before we move on to ways to get rid of attachment, we suggest talking about what addiction is, for what reasons it occurs. This term means dependence on a love subject. According to statistics, addiction occurs among both men and women. You can get out of this state only if you can understand its true causes. These include the following factors:

  • dislike in childhood;
  • strict parental control;
  • lack of ability and desire to make decisions;
  • intimate harassment experienced in childhood;
  • low self-esteem;
  • fear of loneliness;
  • obsession with one's own shortcomings and downplaying the merits;
  • mental trauma;
  • unpreparedness for a mature relationship;
  • desire to obey.

So how to overcome all these problems, how to get rid of excessive attachment to a man? Let's try to figure it out!

Fighting attachment

The state of attachment to the person you love is like nirvana, this feeling gives true pleasure. And of course, it is just as difficult to part with this feeling as with a loved one. When parting, there is a feeling of loss of oneself and the unbearable pain of loss. Is it possible to stop being attached and try to become a self-sufficient person? Psychologists say: you can protect yourself, preserve your own individuality and get rid of addiction. Experts give a number of tips that will help not only overcome the feeling of attachment, but also prevent depression, which can cause a break with a partner.

Close the door to the past

The first thing to do after you break up with a person is to accept the fact that the past, no matter how beautiful and rosy it may be, cannot be returned. It is necessary to let go of it, to cross it out, to accept the breakup of relations as a given. Psychologists say that over time, you will even like the feeling of freedom, independence.

More communication

Answering the question of how to get rid of attachment to a man, psychologists say: any concentration on a particular person always leads to dependence on him. You can overcome addiction only by communicating with different people. In this case, your thoughts and feelings will be shared among everyone with whom you spend time. New people are always new opinions, vivid emotions and new information. Such communication will certainly broaden your horizons and allow you to look at many things from a completely different perspective. Of course, it is impossible to talk about new relationships in an attempt to get rid of love experiences, but the void that has formed inside must be filled.

Cheerfulness

How to get rid of attachment to a man? In psychology, there is one effective tool: you need to tune in a positive way. Always look to the future with hope for the best, but be prepared for different scenarios. You should not be afraid of failures and difficulties. Each victory over life circumstances brings an experience that will make you stronger and wiser. Be sure to find joyful feelings inside yourself, often release them to freedom. Psychologists say: you can learn to enjoy everything, even good weather. If life does not spoil you with pleasant events, organize them yourself! Fill your every day with miracles and happy moments, laugh more, entertain yourself. Over time, you will definitely get used to smiling.

Meditation

Love has passed, relationships have ended, people have separated, but the habit of seeing a loved one nearby remains for a long time. How to get rid of painful attachment to a man who has become a stranger? Relationship psychology recommends learning to meditate and pray. Thanks to the acquisition of such skills, you will learn to relax, feed yourself with energy and strength on your own. That is, you no longer have to look for people who will share their energy with you.

Hobby

Psychologists say: having rediscovered himself, a person not only ceases to become attached to people, but also becomes a person - self-sufficient, interesting to others. How to discover something new in yourself? You need to develop talents and try extreme sports. Be sure to find a hobby, a hobby that can occupy not only your hands, but also your head. Over time, you will learn to enjoy crafts or sports, collecting items, or cooking. This will gradually weaken your painful attachment to a man. Try yourself as a volunteer, do charity work. Look around: the world is full of people and animals that are experiencing difficulties. Helping those who are weaker will make you feel strong and needed.

Change of activity

An environment in which everything reminds you of an ex-partner will not allow you to get rid of addiction as quickly as you would like. In the same way, you will be influenced by traditional activities, rituals that you performed together day after day. What to do? How to get rid of attachment to a man and everything that was connected with him? Change your habits! If before you got up at seven in the morning, had breakfast together and drove to work, start getting up half an hour earlier, go for a run or do exercises, completely change the menu. It's time for bold experiments in your life. And by the way, do not forget to remove everything from your home that evokes memories of the past: gifts and photographs, things that you purchased together. Good idea for a renovation.

Search for impressions

At the moment of separation and for some time after it, only your ex-man is the source of your pleasant memories. How to get rid of emotional attachment to him? New emotions can be a source of inspiration: do something that you have never done before, this will give you food for thought in the near future. You can visit another country, sign up for home economics classes, start dancing or doing needlework.

All these activities will help you get distracted, increase your self-esteem, change the direction of your thoughts. In addition, an active life will surely bring a lot of new acquaintances, one of them can become fateful. Psychologists say: if you didn’t manage to build a relationship with your ex-man, it means that your loved one is waiting for you somewhere ahead. Do not waste your energy on fruitless memories, save time and do not live in the past.

Lack of aggression

Speaking about how to get rid of attachment to a man, it should be said about the desire to take revenge on the offenders. Remember: these thoughts bind you even more tightly to your former partner. In no case do not think about how bad he is and how he will pay for his actions. Cut off all emotional ties. In no case do not engage in such stupid things as petty dirty tricks: do not spread gossip about him among your friends. The fact is that in the first place it can become a stone in your garden, because it was you who have been with this scoundrel for a long time. Do you want to tell him about all the wrongs he has done? Do it, however, not in person, but on paper. Write a letter telling your ex what you think of him. Write and then burn.

Plans for life

Sometimes, being in a relationship, women paint themselves a beautiful fairy tale about how their life will be arranged. Even seeing any inconsistencies, they manage to adjust reality to fit their own scenario. That is why the feeling of irritation is so strong when something goes wrong. Of course, thoughts of separation and depression were hardly part of the original plans. That is why women have questions: “How will I live without him?”, “How to get rid of attachment to a man?”. Psychologists give the answer to questions: you will live magnificently and happily. The main thing - remember that happiness does not come to the young ladies, whose eyes are swollen from tears, offended and angry. Continue to make plans for life after a breakup - despite the worries and depression. Be sure to believe that your true happiness will take place!

Attachment to a person is a feeling that arises from strong sympathy or love and devotion to a certain person, and is accompanied by the presence of closeness and the desire to maintain it. However, this state of affairs is not always positive, because. strong attachment to a person can replace love or arise even without it, and then this stickiness acts as a painful dependence and pathology of personality development.

What is attachment

The mechanism of attachment development initially determines the survival of a person, since without the help of adults, a human cub is not capable of survival. In order to maintain these relationships and ensure appropriate living conditions, an attachment to parental figures is formed that ensures physical survival, emotional development, and knowledge of this world. Further, more and more immersed in society, attachments are formed to educators (if he attends a kindergarten), and then to other adults, then children. The formation of such attachments to the closest environment can be safe when there is an emotional connection, the parent listens to the child and an environment is formed that promotes confidence and adaptability in the formation of personality).

But there are not so pleasant developmental options, one of which is avoidant, and occurs if there is emotional neglect on the part of the parent to the needs of the child, and the behavior and availability of the parent turns out to be unpredictable, then the child grows up intrusive, focused on external evaluation and devalues ​​close relationships. The most destructive form of primary attachment is disruptive, when the child is constantly suppressed or intimidated, which leads to either inactivity or great difficulties in establishing contacts.

It was revealed that people who had difficulty in forming attachment are no longer able to establish open relationships, they do not form a cordial attachment, which indicates violations and can lead to antisocial behavior.

A feeling of attachment accompanies every person, expressed to places, objects, food and people, a certain course of events and specific relationships - everything that a person gets used to and that brings him joy can be called attachment, but it is different from need. You can live without attachments, but it’s more comfortable, happier, not so scary with them (depending on what attachment is for and on the basis of which it was formed, such sensations complement), without needs it’s either impossible to live at all, or it’s difficult and affects health and general well-being.

Attachment to people can be in all types of relationships - love, friendship, parental, and in any of the options, the basis is the desire for intimacy with the object of one's own. Some of these bindings have a rather strong influence on the further formation of personality. So, depending on how attachment with the mother is formed, relations with the whole society will be formed, basic trust will be present or absent, and certain ones are laid. How the first heart attachment is formed affects all further intersexual relationships, scenarios played out by a person, the ability to open up and trust. If traumatization occurs at these two levels, then the consequences are reflected in the entire personality, and it often becomes possible only with the help of a psychotherapist to avoid a destructive influence on the future course of life not only of the person himself, but of the people he meets.

Strong attachment to a person, acquiring pathological characteristics, is called addiction and usually occurs when there are already existing violations in the sphere of attachment formation, or in the presence of facts of emotional or physical abuse.

A healthy attachment is characterized by flexibility, the absence of any benefit, and the absence of painful and negative sensations in the absence of an object of attachment. Those. a person is able to calmly experience separation, endure the uncertainty of the location and occupation of the one to whom he is attached, and the option of ending this connection causes sadness, but not a critical level, pain and a sense of the meaninglessness of life.

With healthy attachment, there is a flexible adaptation of the personality, which allows both participants in communication to breathe freely, giving resources to rely on and notice other areas of their lives. With painful addiction, such flexibility is lost, and the world narrows to one person, the variability of behavior disappears, it becomes extremely important to constantly be near or control the object of sympathy, while other areas of life suffer significantly, and both partners. An important marker of a painful connection is a feeling of pain, fear and a manic desire to prevent separation by any means, even if the connection does not bring happiness, even if the partner wants to leave.

Attachment does not arise at once, it takes time to form, therefore, the more you communicate with a person, and the more emotional interaction and events significant for spiritual life occur in this communication, the more likely the emergence of attachment. Superstrong attachment is characterized by the intensity of passions, often making it similar to love, but the differences are that painful attachment binds, while love liberates. Precisely in order not to lose their freedom, many try to avoid attachments and close relationships, thereby falling into a counter-dependent position, where there is also no freedom, since there is only one choice - not to become attached.

Is attachment to a person good or bad?

Attachment affects simultaneously several spheres of human manifestation - feelings, thoughts, actions, self-perception. For such a multifaceted concept, there cannot be one answer in its assessment from the side of good and evil. Without attachment to another person, it is not possible to form social communication, adaptability in society and provide oneself with spiritual comfort. If there is no attachment to parents, then the whole course of personality development is disrupted, just as if there are violations of the formation of attachment at other important stages. Being a social being, the ability to maintain contacts, the desire for rapprochement are indicators of a person's mental safety.

Attachment to another gives a sense of support and security, so you can get the necessary support if internal resources are not enough. People become attached to those from whom they can get approval and help, invaluable acceptance, satisfaction of existing needs. And providing a good relationship with the environment, which is important for successful survival in the world, attachment reflects a somewhat childish model of interaction with the world. If you look at all expectations from the object of attachment, then they are addressed to the parent figure, on which the child is somehow dependent. In adulthood, any binding has a certain degree of dependence, and only the level of maturity of a person can regulate the negative consequences of this. If autonomous mental regulation is not formed, then any attachment will quickly develop into addiction, and instead of receiving support, the need for control will flare up, instead of cravings to spend time together mentally and well, with benefit and emotional resource for both, fear of loss and a desire to chain another will appear. beside.

The theme of dependence about the loss of flexibility in attachment, the imprisonment of both the person himself and the one to whom he is attached is similar to drug addiction. The analogy with drug addiction is the most successful, because with a long absence of another person (a subjectively long absence may seem like a day), when it is not possible to find out the location of the object and get a dose of attention from it (for example, when the entire network of the mobile operator is turned off), a state begins that reflects drug addiction. breaking. The emotional pain from the loss or the possibility of losing an object is felt physically and does not allow one to fully exist.

If one manages not to slide into an infantile position of dependence, then attachment acquires an adult and mature form of its existence, manifesting itself as love, where there is a full-fledged observation of all aspects of one’s life, there is no tearing pain when the object is moved away, and the object of attachment itself is used not only for the purpose getting something emotionally valuable for yourself, but more for energy exchange and caring for others. Thus, everything depends on the maturity of the individual and the degree of flexibility of this feeling.

How to get rid of attachment to a person

Usually attachment is formed when you receive your need from another, most often it is inner strength, calmness or cheerfulness. So it is worth learning to develop these states on your own, becoming an autonomous station of emotions for yourself. Great help, sports, yoga, various spiritual practices and psychological groups. Create sources of happiness for yourself everywhere, because expecting joy only from the presence of one person, you yourself form a toxic attachment, drive yourself into a dead end. Sitting in the four walls in the blues, waiting for your soul mate to be released, and only then allow yourself happiness is a sure road to addiction and the destruction of your relationship.

It makes sense to get rid of attachment when it begins to destroy your life and it is worth starting with the return of the lost. Usually, the first thing that fades into the background, giving way to a person, is your favorite things and activities, so remember what brought you joy or, better, look for new activities that you could do while immersing yourself in the process. In addition to interesting activities, start expanding your social circle - call old friends you forgot about while immersing yourself in your attachment, go to an event and meet new people. Expand your social circle, then you can receive emotional benefits that you receive only in those relationships from everywhere, and, most likely, more easily and positively.

Attachment to a person remains a psychological problem, so when you feel drawn to your object, think about what is missing right now (other loved ones can give you a sense of security, you can get a feeling of beauty in stores from sellers, you can even get warmth). Usually, with such an analysis, some kind of emptiness emerges, only you can fill it, whether it be boredom or, because, no matter how much you plug your own holes with others, they do not disappear from this.

Read the article and draw your own conclusions about all the written words.

Until we understand and feel what attachment is, we will not be able to understand how to get rid of attachment to a person or object.

Attachment can be so strong and imperceptible at the same time that it really affects our whole life.

Attachment is an emotional feed from a person or object in order to improve their own well-being.

We can only be attached to good emotions and good feelings. very many people become attached to their “soul mate”, alcohol, tobacco, tasty and unhealthy food, laziness. Some become attached to the Internet, to TV, because they are sources of good emotions, security.

There is nothing wrong with affection or love. That's why no need to beat yourself up or scold yourself because of this. This is how it happened. You become attached, and there is nothing wrong with your focus on enjoying something or someone. We enjoy life and this is completely normal.

Dependence on time

In life, many have had attachments, for example, to the opposite sex.

We become attached, and we feel good as long as the object to which we are attached allows us to receive from it those emotions, pleasures and feelings that we like. But absolutely every person and every object in this world is temporary. This means that it is now and tomorrow it may not be.

And the problem is that ATTACHMENT = DEPENDENCE.

Of course, we don't want to be dependent. We don't want to depend on anything, but we still want to enjoy what is temporary. Any relationship is temporary.. Money, job, favorite TV show, favorite clothes, car are temporary. Having lost all this, we are upset and want to learn more about how to get rid of love addiction.

Sooner or later the object will disappear. Entire cities and people disappear, new ones appear. Or people just leave, do not want to have a relationship with a person and new ones appear.

Everything in this world comes and goes. Therefore, initially treat everything as temporary.

Analysis and self-examination

When you look inside yourself, you can see the source and the place that allows you to enjoy.

Ask these questions right now in relation to your loved one, car or apartment.

Imagine this object or person and ask yourself:

  1. What happens if this person does not exist? Will I worry, suffer and be afraid of this?
  2. Why will I worry? Why am I afraid to lose this in my life?

Answer - it is the fear of losing comfort, pleasure, fear of not feeling loved and being alone. This is the fear of not receiving the pleasures that we are now receiving with this person.

This happens because if we lose all these external things, we will not feel so good. Our mood will drop because we internally look for sources of pleasure.

This happens because our society does not take care of itself. Our society has other tendencies, other fashions. People live on money, they live on the idea of ​​fame, popularity, security, but it doesn't bring happiness does not bring independence and tranquility. It does not give anything to the most important person. And at the level of feelings, all this results in inner emptiness, depression, addiction, worries, fears of losing. A hasty search begins for a way to help get rid of attachment to a person or object.

My video

Is it true that the girl's favorite things given to you once reinforce the addiction to her.

What to do in case of breakup?

I talk about this and more in my video.

Relinquishing Attachments: Stop Taking Your State From Outside

Externally, people can be very rich, but internally they are very empty.! I'm not saying to drop everything external, let it be - it doesn't bother anyone.

Just stop raising your mood thanks to external objects, external paraphernalia.

For example, the idea that a guy has a girlfriend makes him feel better every day. He needs to stop thinking about the fact that he has a girlfriend from the very beginning of the day. Maximum let go of the idea that you have something in this world. Find a small moment in your head that allows you to enjoy and discard it. Just stop thinking about it. Just stop enjoying it.

Do it all slowly, not all at once. It's like a diet.

At first you will feel worse. But it is necessary. Drop attachments from your life, no matter how hard it may be at first.

Live with the idea that you're already okay. You keep dropping and removing attachments from your life.

You have a loved one, but you should not draw emotions out of him in order to increase your condition.

Over time, you will learn not to think about what you have. At the same time, you will not be afraid to lose it. Ultimately, you will be able to get rid of love addiction. You no longer need to suck out fortunes from somewhere, because your condition is already better. Thanks to self-development, you find the reasons why you depend on something, discard them - this increases your internal state, your internal self-esteem. You begin to love yourself more, to be more independent.

Why condition is not important

"Happiness is a state, and the person has no control over the state.

Freedom is understanding, to which by chance and desire you can come.

When you're free, you can't be unhappy and you are no longer interested in experiencing happiness - as this will be another sensation against the backdrop of your freedom.

Therefore, freedom is much more fundamental and boundless than any happiness.

And it is precisely this freedom that is happiness.”

Attachment is a habit get good condition from outside. But condition shouldn't be your priority. The state is always changing and always different. You should not depend on it and get too hung up on it.

State comes and goes. You don't have to take it from outside, take it from within. The state should not be based on external factors.

Everything is temporary: you are already filled and independent on your own

Then you will notice that everything in your life is no longer yours. Even the wife or husband is no longer yours, because you no longer want him to be yours.

You no longer suck feelings out of your partner. You are still there, you still love each other.

Through this understanding, your relationship improves.. But you are no longer afraid of losing a person. Therefore, you know that now your state does not depend on a person or an object in this world.

Nothing in this world can make you feel better.

Not because you become insensitive. On the contrary, because you fill yourself with such feelings and states, which do not depend on anything external.

You begin to truly love yourself, becoming an independent and happy person.

Realize that pleasure is not happiness!

Someday you will lose everything anyway. Everything is subject to time.

Therefore, everything will definitely leave you. Either we or our loved ones will leave.

In 100 years there will be no us and all that we use now. So what's the point of getting attached and expecting it to be with us forever?

You don't have to be stupid no need to seek external pleasures.

We are just living this life now, enjoying it. We see how it all happens, we create, we love, we do things, we have a rest.

The meaning of life is love! And love is the meaning of life. But love is not attachment, it is not fear! This is independence! Love is first and foremost love for yourself.

And any fears and experiences appear primarily due to a lack of love in relation to oneself!

Love yourself more than you love yourself now.

Not for everyone, the question of how not to become attached to people will immediately cause understanding. "Why is it bad at all?" - a logical and natural reaction. After all, it is natural, meeting with a person, to be attached to him. Just the opposite is bad - when a person is alone for a long time and does not have such feelings for anyone. This is true, which is why healthy and unhealthy attachments should be distinguished.

Unhealthy attachment to a person

How not to get attached to people too much?

Draw a clear line: if you cannot live a day without an object of affection, if you need to constantly see him or hear him, otherwise your mood deteriorates and anxiety arises, if you forget about work, thinking about him, then your attachment is unhealthy, and with she needs to work.

Think about the fact that excessively strong attachment can be not at all pleasant, but, on the contrary, annoying and repulsive. No wonder they say that the more desperately you chase after someone, the higher the chance that he will slip away from you. And this is no coincidence. By becoming attached to a person, you put him in a situation of responsibility for you, and this deprives him of his freedom and imposes obligations. Many people subconsciously avoid such a situation, preferring internally free partners.

So, attention, question! How not to become attached to people excessively and not become dependent?

Take control not of the object of sighing, but of your feeling of affection. Let's look at the points, because of which the feeling of attachment becomes excessive, because in order to deal with the problem, it is important to understand its origins. In addition, it will help to better understand yourself and, possibly, solve other internal problems.

  1. Give yourself and people freedom.

    Often, excessively strong attachment arises due to. Think about how you perceive your friends and loved ones? Do you consider them in some way your trophies? Rest assured, no one likes this. Think more about the feelings of others and try to be less emotional. It is important to understand that you still cannot force yourself to be with you, and your desire to constantly be around, call, write and remind yourself of yourself in every way (even with good intentions) will not always be perceived as you would like. Make time for personal pursuits.

  2. Learn to see things realistically.

    You need to immediately understand and accept that not all relationships are eternal. People meet, find themselves in different cities and continue to live independently. Such is life, and you should not completely dissolve in another person and live only with him. So you doom yourself to serious experiences in the event of a breakup. To build a strong relationship, it is not necessary to “dive headlong” into them - they will be much stronger if you work on the partner’s trust and respect.

  3. Love yourself.

    Raising your self-esteem will help you avoid becoming addicted. Yes, this does not contradict egocentrism in any way - it goes well with low self-esteem. It is because of low self-esteem that a fixation on one person occurs, you try your best to hold on to him, because you don’t believe that you can find another, you don’t even believe that you deserve it, and you try with all your might to prove it to yourself by surrounding his care and attention, as you yourself think, but in fact, only pleasing your ego. The law “Love yourself and others will love you” works perfectly here, which contradicts the behavior when you “love” a person, leaving him no chance to show love himself.

  4. Keep yourself busy.

    Find something to your liking. Often it is his absence that causes too strong emotional attachment to a person. Do not be attached to one thing, the interest should be shared among several objects and subjects, and then it will not be excessive. A person who is not busy with anything, without interests and goals of his own, in principle, has no choice: as soon as someone appears in his life on whom he can focus, he does it to the maximum, collecting all the accumulated energy.

  5. Communicate more.

    Useful and important, because there are so many people in the world. And believe me, among them there are those who will be sincerely interesting to you, in addition to the object of sighing, and to which you will become attached with a healthy attachment. And this will not only not be to the detriment of your relationship, but will also significantly strengthen and diversify them.

Work on yourself, develop, direct efforts inward, and not on the possession of others.

How to get rid of attachment?

But we considered rather the “prevention” of excessive attachment, what to do if you are already attached?

Even if you yourself feel that you demand excessive attention to yourself, impose yourself, start to simply get bored, and lose a person because of too strong emotional attachment, then first of all exhale. And then a few more times. It helps to calm down and relax.

  • Stop totally controlling the object of your affection.

    The fear of being betrayed and deceived is inevitable, but remember its unhealthy nature whenever you want to turn on the warden again. Decreasing control does not mean starting to expect deception. Understand that by your total control, you only increase the likelihood of this. People inevitably become weary of it and subconsciously look for a way out of control.

  • Don't live in the past and don't imagine a bright future.

    Live in the present. Analyze more what is happening right now and do not miss anything from your own behavior. At first, you will have to work hard: at the time of the next attempt to control or impose yourself, listen to common sense, not emotions. Why do you want to call a person in the middle of the night? Let's say you're bored. So enjoy this emotion, live it, but listen to the mind - your call will be inappropriate if the partner is sleeping and, besides, you talked 2 hours ago.

  • Figure out what you really want.

    Ask yourself a few questions and figure out what you want from your loved one. Be truthful with yourself and answer: to what extent is he important to you, and to what extent is his attention? Do you really want to build a relationship with him for the long term, or is it important for you to be with him for some reason just now? Is your relationship a sincere affection for each other or your all-consuming control?

If you doubt the answer, then remember your freedom. You are a free person who can go where he wants and do what he wants. Do you use your freedom wisely, or maybe somewhere in the depths of your soul you want to return it to yourself? Think that it is not too late to change what makes you uncomfortable, do not be tied to someone, as if on an invisible rope. By letting go of attachment, you open your way to a harmonious and healthy relationship.

Appreciate and love yourself, appreciate and love those around you, do not suppress your own, otherwise then you will unconsciously begin to suppress the desires of other people. It will only be better for everyone, and first of all for you, if you become internally free. Work on relationships that are based not on control and over-attachment, but on respect, trust, and personal development.

Attachment to a man is a complex and multifaceted thing. She makes a woman treat her partner with great attention and often forget about herself. Such girls sacrifice themselves without even thinking about the fact that they allow humiliation and suffer various inconveniences. To become happy, you need to find the strength in yourself to get rid of the debilitating attachment in time. Otherwise, a woman risks losing self-respect and the man who is next to her. How to get rid of attachment to a man? There are several important ways. Let's try to figure it out.

How to get rid of attachment to a man: ways

Personal development

A self-confident woman is not only successful. She is generally not inclined to be strongly attached to anyone, and even more so to a man. A man is so arranged that he is interested in setting a goal and striving to achieve it. He feels the need to achieve the chosen one, to gradually win her. Otherwise, he loses interest and switches to another, brighter object.

The development of her own individuality allows a woman to remain interesting and in demand during the entire time when she interacts with a man. The man, in turn, admires the inaccessibility of the girl and does everything so that she pays attention to him. How to develop your own self-sufficiency? First of all, give up the idea of ​​feeling sorry for yourself. You do not need to constantly demonstrate to others, and even more so to men, how much you suffer. If you are interested in a specific person to whom you have a strong attachment, first step back a little, find something of your own, some interesting activity or hobby. Be inimitable, bright and bold. Do not allow such attachment to develop into addiction.

Find hobbies

Each person is interested in something, something especially fascinates him. There is no need to be like those people who have limited their small little world to ordinary things and shun everything new. So you will not be able to feel the real taste for life. You can get rid of oppressive attachment only when you yourself determine the boundaries of your interests. Who knows if you will need the same person later. Suffering for someone is the most thankless task. If only because men do not appreciate and do not notice those who run after them.

Independent character

You can get rid of attachment if you strictly follow the word given to yourself. You must promise yourself that no other man will make you suffer and humiliate yourself. There is nothing worse than when a woman does not realize how unworthy her behavior is. Don't become a pathetic slave in a relationship. Do not offer yourself, do not insist when no one wants to know you. Independence in character is formed through fruitful work on oneself. The first time will be difficult, but you need to try to fight attachment. Work hard - you help yourself. An independent woman is always self-sufficient and beautiful. So why not start giving your appearance a certain amount of time each day?

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