How to be a sociable person. Be mindful of your behavior. Being confident means being selfish

What distinguishes an ordinary sociable person from a sociable person? First of all, the fact that the latter has communication skills. He is not afraid to start a conversation first, it is not difficult for him to come up with a topic for conversation or to support the interlocutor's thought in a timely manner. He perfectly owns his facial expressions, intonation, gestures. With him, the word never precedes the thought.

Let's draw a psychological portrait of a sociable person:

• easily finds a common language with other people;
• has many friends and acquaintances;
• easily adapts to unfamiliar companies;
• not lost in difficult situations;
• radiates self-confidence;
• successful in business negotiations;
• interesting in everyday communication;
• subtly feels the psychotype of the interlocutor;
• often becomes a leader in the team.

A sociable person enjoys the very process of communication, and, by and large, he does not care with whom to communicate: with the president of a corporation or a neighbor.

How to develop communication skills

Avoid communication

In order to learn how to communicate, you need to communicate. Did a random passer-by talk to you? Do not rush to pass by, keep up the conversation, listen. Communication with strangers is the best way to develop not only communication skills, but also to overcome self-doubt.

Don't be afraid to speak your mind

Don't think that no one cares about your opinion. If you have something to say on the merits - speak. Probably, a lot of good ideas remained just ideas, only because they did not dare to express them in time.

Avoid patterns in speech

Chancery, stereotypes and clichés “kill” an interesting dialogue. If you constantly “pour” smart phrases, your interlocutor will get tired of you very soon. Moreover, it must be taken into account that not all people know or correctly understand the meaning of a particular word, which threatens to misperceive the information.

Watch your communication style

A conversation with a person who, with his meager facial expressions and gestures, resembles Werther's robot, is a dubious pleasure. A sociable person is an interesting lively speech, active gestures, an expressive look! These are emotions, drive, artistry, improvisation!

Give information in a dosed manner

You should not dump tons of information on the interlocutor, even if you consider it very useful, especially if your interlocutor is not psychologically prepared. After all, your task is not to speak out, but to ensure that you are understood. There is one very interesting phrase from the series “Gangster Petersburg”: “Information can be poisonous. Like food. When you were hungry for a long time. Therefore, try to spread it systematically, making sure that your counterpart has learned the “previous portion”.

Differences from a chatty person

How to distinguish a really sociable person from a talker? According to the following indications:

• in his manner of communication there is no obsession and familiarity;
• he feels the mood of people and is not imposed on anyone;
• if he is incompetent in some matters, he will not hide this gap behind a stream of meaningless and empty chatter;
• knows how to listen to the interlocutor, analyzes the information received and draws useful conclusions.

An excellent example of a sociable person is the famous cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin. At a reception with Queen Elizabeth II of England, he said with his characteristic charm and simplicity that he had no idea how to use most cutlery! To which the queen admitted that she also did not know - the necessary device was served to her by lackeys, and therefore let everyone eat as he liked. Historians say that the famous breakfast between the Queen of Great Britain and the Soviet cosmonaut is a vivid example of a relaxed and interesting communication between such seemingly different people!

Find 5 new acquaintances; Restore communication with 3 friends with whom you lost contact; Compare the control text entry at the beginning and end of the target.

1. Preparatory stage

   At this stage, I need to prepare myself for further processing. This stage is the foundation for further achievement of the goal.: 1) Development of a program with exercises for voice, diction, breathing. 2) Every day do exercises for diction, evenness of voice, strength. (30min) 3) Do breathing exercises every day. 4) Monitor the fluency of speech and breathing during a conversation. 5) Try to speak in a chest voice. 6) Once a week, record a control text on a voice recorder to analyze progress (Sun). Optional: Choose a person who speaks well and imitate him. This is not about the manner of speaking, but about the timbre of the voice and the purity of speech. As an example, I chose Roman Skripin, a well-known Ukrainian journalist and TV presenter. ________________________________________________________________________ Method of control (for further stages is the same): 1) Daily unsubscribe in the diary about the exercises. 2) In case of missing the 1st daily lesson, I undertake to do 50 push-ups in 1 run, in case of repetition - 100 and so on. 3) In case of missing a weekly lesson (from the following points), I undertake to solve 5 problems in the mat. analysis from Demidovich, in case of repetition - 10 and so on. P.S. I already pretty much forgot math, so this will be a hardcore method of punishment :)

2. Vocabulary expansion and memory training

   1) Read fiction, namely 1 book per month to start. This works out to about 15-25 pages a day, not that much. 2) Write down interesting words and phrases in a notebook-dictionary. 3) Keep a diary and write down all the events that happen to me in detail. This will help me remember better and, as a result, describe events in more detail. In addition, it is a good psychological therapy. 4) Once a week, write an essay OR take a finished text and "decorate" it with synonymous words. 5) Learn 1 verse or 2 jokes per week. Useful links: 1)

Thousands of people cannot reach their potential just because, by virtue of their nature, they are shy and not sociable. This is really a problem, because it prevents not only making new acquaintances, but also climbing the career ladder. What to do? How to find a way out of this situation? First, let's figure out what a "sociable person" is, and then we'll see practical tips on how to start a conversation, as well as maintain it at the proper level.

What is "communication"?

Each person understands this word differently and there is no strict definition. However, many people confuse sociability with sociability. These are different things. A sociable person is a person who easily gets in touch even with strangers, for example, at a conference, networking or business meetings. But that's not all. A sociable person not only finds an approach to strangers, but also feels how and what to talk about in order to leave a pleasant impression and stand out from the crowd.

A sociable person does not just communicate - he definitely has a goal and he adjusts any dialogue in the way he needs, while showing that he is sincere to the interlocutor. You need to learn this, and just like that, sitting on the couch, you will not be able to achieve what you want.

Where to practice communication skills?

One of the strengths is network marketing. In general, network marketing is interesting from this point of view. You learn to find something in common with a stranger, and then offer this or that product. Often, beginners start with "cold touches" on the street. You will have to break your comfort zone, approach people you don't know. They will look at you, someone will condemn, and someone will laugh. But you will make a strong breakthrough in personal growth.

For a guy, the ideal solution would be to offer cosmetics. For a girl, you can pick up something related to personal hygiene. The essence is simple - to train your perception of others and find an approach to anyone in spite of fears. After all, it is fears that do not allow starting a conversation. It is they who shackle and do not allow to breathe fully. And you know we are right.

Where to begin?

1. Find a mentor. Only for God's sake, do not look for someone like you. You will stand, like two fools, on the sidelines, waiting for someone to come up to you and at the same time discuss those passing by. You need to find someone who has already succeeded in this matter and from whom you will take an example at first. At this stage, just listen and try to understand how your mentor does the approach and why in one case he chose this option, and in the other - another.
2. First approach. Start your first acquaintance with a stranger when your mentor is nearby. It is important for you to make an introduction, so if you get confused, he will support you. Naturally, the mentor must know that he is a mentor. Otherwise, awkwardness may arise, and you will forever discourage the desire to develop communication skills.
3. Environment. If you're determined to develop your communication skills, don't bring your friends to big meetings. Scatter around the room and try to find common ground. Being at a general meeting, you 100% have common interests. Find like-minded people there instead of bringing them with you.
4. Blanks. Prepare at home near the mirror. Play situations where the person you are interested in is just standing around doing nothing by himself or in the company. Think about what you will start the conversation about. There are a lot of videos on the Internet where they teach a pickup truck. See what questions the guys ask in the introduction and you will understand that you can literally start with nothing. For example, you can say “I heard you from Kyiv? Not? Hmm, so my ears are failing me. And yet, what brought you to this event?
5. Evolve. As soon as you get the first time - go right there to the next. And don't forget to smile. Don't approach with a sour face. The world is ruled by positivity and a smile. Imagine that this is a game and you need to reach a new level.

Important…

You can start a conversation literally on blanks, but it’s more difficult to continue the dialogue. Before the event, consider what will be of interest to those who are nearby. If the conference is dedicated to business, then most likely people are interested in specialized issues. Think about what to talk about in advance, otherwise the introduction can be bombastic, and the continuation is very dull.

Problems in communication, in fact, are experienced by almost all people. At least I do not know of a single person who would be completely satisfied with the association with all others. There will still be someone who is difficult to approach. But this is a slightly different matter. In the same article, we will talk about the problem of sociability. This includes many things:

- acquaintance;

- maintaining a conversation;

- conversations in the company;

- upholding one's own convictions, etc.

I hope the tips below will help you understand how to become sociable. I will try to give the maximum number of useful recommendations that you can really apply. Some of them will be more useful, others less. Try to try everything, and only then draw conclusions about the effectiveness.

Be on topic

The problem with most conversations is that you don't fully understand the topic. Each microgroup has some interests that allow them to unite and identify themselves with other people. But this is smart, and if you put it simply, then you should be on the same wavelength with your interlocutors.

Let's say a group of students is discussing a timetable, a past lecture, or a difficult assignment. At work, they can discuss projects, salary and boss. Housewives - their husbands, new wallpapers and events in the series. There is always some topic that characterizes certain people, and if you understand it, then the dialogue will go by itself.

For example, I can talk a lot about psychology, business, SEO, copywriting and some other areas. If in a new team people start talking about these topics, then I will immediately be able to keep up the conversation and tell a lot of interesting things. So you need to understand the main problems and interests of the people with whom you want to build relationships.

But this applies if we are talking about a group conversation, but what to do with a dialogue? in this case? Everything is also simple here. Start a conversation with standard phrases and try to understand the person's main hobbies. The easiest option is to ask what he did on the weekends, since most people prefer to spend their free time on things they love.

Be helpful

People rarely do things for nothing. This is one of the basic psychology. In order for there to be a reaction, a stimulus is needed. So it is with conversation. If you cannot bring anything useful to people, then why should they contact you. Let's say in the case of students discussing the timetable. If you have no idea where the class is or what the teacher's name is, then you're much less likely to be approached.

This problem is easily solved if you have any profile. For example, professional doctors rarely suffer from a lack of communication, since many people are trying to find out how they can cope with this or that disease. You also have to become someone helpful if you want to communicate more. It is unlikely, of course, that a specialist in the development of nanotechnological materials will be able to tell something useful to the average person, but people close to his work can easily.

And in general, the more useful you are as a person, in principle, the less you will suffer from a lack of communication. Therefore, try to develop whenever you can. By the way, to understand how to become a social person you can borrow a lot of debt. Believe me, then people will be drawn to you 🙂

Of course, if your social circle is made up of gopniks with a bottle of beer, then this advice is unlikely to be useful to you (although it will still help to some extent). But in this case, you would hardly have read this material. Think for yourself with which interlocutor you are more interested in communicating:

• He knows a lot, tells interesting facts, can be of interest and easily answers the questions that have arisen;
• Barely connects two words together and his area of ​​expertise ends with events that happened in his immediate environment.

I think your answer will be obvious. It is interesting to communicate with smart people, they can always keep up the conversation, and you will always understand what they are talking about.

Besides, you can be just an interesting person. Even if you do not have a higher education, but you have traveled a lot, then you probably have something to tell people. Some interesting facts, cases, events, stories and so on.

Let's say you want to know how to become more sociable. To find the answer to this question, you probably scored a query in a search engine and found this article. Written communication is also communication. And, if you have read up to this point, then you probably were interested, otherwise you would just close the page.

You need to achieve the same. Try to make people want to bring the dialogue with you to its logical end, and for this you will have to arm yourself with some kind of, but a set of knowledge. Not necessarily scientific, but still informative and interesting.

Be witty

Nobody likes nerds and nerds. As much as you would not like to deny this fact, but it is true. People like to communicate with cheerful and interesting interlocutors. If in response to the banal “How are you?” you talk about how the study of quantum physics is not able to raise your average mood, because according to your research, each page you read takes a certain percentage of your subjective mood scale, and in order to change this indicator, you had to evaluate the influence of other sciences on changes in your psychological state.

Have you fully read what I wrote above? Probably not. So a person will not listen to you if you boringly answer. Another body, if you're witty and can comment in some hilarious way on his statements and questions. Yes, what I'm talking about, even girls like guys more who are able to interest in a conversation. And no muscles are needed here. Pushkin was generally not the most handsome guy in the village, but the young ladies were crazy about him, and it's all about eloquence.

By the way, speaking of how to become sociable and interesting, at this point it is impossible not to mention the bending of the stick. Many people notice that their jokes are well received and start doing them right and left. As a result, he may develop a reputation as a clown, that is, they will also just joke with him, but hardly anyone will want to adequately perceive his other words. Therefore, do not go too far and try to use this recommendation in combination with the rest.

Be mindful of your behavior

For example, you might constantly sniffle, rub the back of your head, wave your arms, or speak very loudly. It may seem like a small thing, but it can actually turn a lot of people off. Therefore, before asking the question how to be funny and social, think about whether your behavior annoys other people.

In order to get rid of such ailments, try to copy the behavior model of some famous actor or speaker. Just repeat his manner of speaking and gesticulating and very soon you will notice an incredible result. In general, modeling is an extremely useful thing. It can even be used to understand.

Be confident

Uncertainty will not only kill your desire to meet or talk with other people, but in general can bring a lot of inconvenience. I will dedicate a whole article (maybe even more than one) to this issue, so if you don't want to miss it, subscribe to my blog updates. This can be done by clicking on this link or by using the form at the bottom of the page.

Communication is a voluntary process. And, most often, people feel good in the process of exchanging information. But for this to happen, the interlocutors must feel on the same wavelength and seem to be on the same levels. Agree that when a boss communicates with a subordinate, this can hardly be called a full-fledged conversation. But when two colleagues are talking, it’s a completely different matter.

Therefore, you must have good self-awareness. You must understand what exactly you are, at what level you are and be sure to show it to another person. This is probably one of the most important points regarding the question of whether how to be a social girl or a guy.

If you build yourself into an incomprehensible person, then very soon your circle of contacts will narrow down to the same egoists. At the same time, if you constantly show down, then the attitude towards you will be appropriate. Try to be on the same level with the interlocutor and do not be afraid to speak, even if you have not talked much before - you will succeed.

Be Consistent

Even if you are afraid to talk to other people, you still have to do it. Without it, you just can't understand how to become open and sociable. But the process of adaptation can be significantly facilitated if you act according to the plan.

1. First, just get to know the person. Shake hands or just say hello, introduce yourself and ask for a name. This will be enough to make the first contact. But remember that you must behave confidently so that your interlocutor understands that you are not a sycophant or a hypocrite;
2. Start talking about general topics. This does not have to happen at the time of the acquaintance, but you need to talk again. You must determine the topic yourself, I talked about this in the first paragraph. Therefore, if you immediately scrolled down, do not be lazy and re-read this subparagraph;
3. Talk about more in-depth topics. To proceed to this step, you should already know each other quite well. At this point, you can start discussing, for example, or ;
4. Only then can you move on to more related topics. For example, family relationships and so on. This will allow you to understand how to become a more sociable person.

Do not generate events. If you have just met a person, then you should not ask close questions. Understand that this will take a certain amount of time. A person cannot open up immediately and just like that.

Be a Good Listener

Along with self-confidence, this is also one of the most important points. To be a good conversationalist, you must not only speak well, but also listen well. In one of the books (honestly, I don’t remember which one) I read one interesting case:

Somehow a famous business coach flew by plane to another country and met another famous person. They struck up a conversation that lasted the entire flight. Landing, the famous person said that it was the most interesting dialogue he had ever had. The highlight was that the business coach practically did not speak, but only listened.

People love to be listened to. Moreover, almost everyone suffers from the fact that they cannot fully express themselves. So, if they see that they are being understood, they begin to open up as quickly as possible. It makes no sense to describe this issue in detail now, because entire books are devoted to this topic, but I will most likely write an article. If you don't want to miss it, subscribe to updates.

How to become sociable - be great

No matter what they say, it is always more pleasant to communicate with kind and good people. Therefore, try to always do good, sow the reasonable and eternal, and in general try to be a good person. You will need this not only to understand how to become talkative and sociable, but generally useful in life.

That's all. If you have any questions - please ask them in the comments. You can also express your opinion on this issue there. Any way to challenge my statements or vice versa agree with them. And don't forget to subscribe for new articles. There will be many more interesting things. Bye!

What is a sociable person? First of all, this is a person who enjoys communication. A sociable person does not care; with whom to communicate, he is interested in the process itself. Learn to benefit from your conversations with different people, and communication will become a more exciting experience for you. Try listening to the following tips.

What is a sociable person? First of all, this is a person who enjoys communication.

A sociable person does not care with whom to communicate; he is interested in the process itself. If you feel like you don't communicate well enough, that you often look for ways to avoid an upcoming conversation, try the following tips.

1. Don't avoid communication.

It seems to you that you are quite sociable, but prefer to enter into a dialogue only if the interlocutor is pleasant to you and you are in a good mood? For example, if you notice a friend walking towards you, then you prefer to turn off the path in order to avoid talking to him; if you notice a stranger in the window of public transport, you prefer to wait for the next bus. All these are signs that you are not communicative enough. You should strive to develop this quality in yourself. To do this, try not to avoid random meetings, communicate with unfamiliar people or with those who are completely unfamiliar to you. This is how you develop social skills.

2. Learn to enjoy communication.

It's not as easy as it seems. We always set ourselves up for how the planned conversation with this or that person will go. For example, a meeting with a former classmate seems very boring and uninteresting to you, since you know that your interlocutor is a typical bore. The upcoming conversation with the boss always involves some stiffness and nervousness. Before a conversation that seems unpleasant to you, you should tune in to the best: remember that you can always change the situation, change roles with your interlocutor. For example, you do not really want to listen to the childhood memories of your former classmate. Excellent - do not listen, start telling yourself, take control of the situation. Or turn the conversation to another topic that will be of interest to both of you. Turn the upcoming unpleasant conversation into a pleasant one. Learn to benefit from your conversations with different people, and communication will become a more exciting experience for you.

3. Try to initiate the conversation.

When you live in a big city, it's easy to pretend you don't see an old acquaintance you're on the same subway car with, or pretend you don't recognize him. As a rule, downcast eyes indicate your unwillingness to make contact, and it works - they don’t want to communicate with you either. But such an adult game of hide and seek makes you experience much more negative emotions than a conversation with even the most unwanted interlocutor. When you are hiding from your friend, you are in a state of expectation, fear: “Did he (a) recognize you? Does he/she want to talk? In order not to be tormented by such questions and not to wait until they come up to you and start talking, it is best to start a conversation yourself, act as the initiator of the dialogue; you will feel it is easy enough.

4. When interacting with people, do not be too formal in dealing with them.

To the questions: "How are you?" and "How are you?" It is quite logical to tell a little about your affairs and your life. The dryness of your answers and unwillingness to enter into a conversation will be regarded as disrespect and hostility towards your interlocutor.

In order to become a pleasant conversationalist, you must remember the main rule of any conversation - you need to respect the opinion of the interlocutor, even if it differs greatly from your opinion, if it causes you a storm of protest. Your protest must be made in a civilized manner.

If you express respect for the position of the interlocutor, then you will win his trust. But remember that respecting your opponent's opinion doesn't mean you have to necessarily agree with his point of view. How to properly express respect for the opinion of the interlocutor?

1. Listen carefully to your opponent, even if he will say the most unthinkable things, if his position is contrary to the laws of logic. Listen to it to the end, showing patience, try to show interest in the point of view of your interlocutor. If he does not know the norms of the literary language or the basics of logic and rhetoric, do not use the hitches in his argument to insert your word; so you can finally bring down your interlocutor

2. After your interlocutor finishes the presentation of his thoughts, first of all, note the merits of his opinion, name the pluses of his position with which you agree. And then start criticizing.

3. Express your point of view without humiliating or insulting your interlocutor. Remember that in no case should you use arguments such as: "You are completely ignorant of the issue, you are completely incompetent, you misunderstand the essence of the matter." With such statements, you will only offend your opponent, but will not come to a compromise.

4. In order to express respect for your interlocutor, you can use statements like: “Suppose you are right”, “Suppose I agree with you”. This will please your interlocutor and will mean that you understood and accepted his point of view as worthy.

5. Any dispute should be aimed at finding some kind of compromise solution, and not just quarrel or prove your own superiority to your opponent. Therefore, in any conversation, always strive not for conflict, but for making a decision that will suit both parties.

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