Tips for introverts: How to survive in a big office and at a noisy party. Introverts and extroverts

Different people differ from each other not only in appearance, but also in their mindset, temperament and character, as well as in the way they receive energy. It is on this basis that experts divide people into introverts and extroverts, calling these concepts conditional types of human personality. In addition to these classifications, there are many more, but not everyone knows who introverts and extroverts are, how to become an extrovert, or vice versa.

Recently, psychologists have adopted this tendency to divide people into innumerable groups and classifications, although in fact such a division helps to better understand people and their characters. But one of the oldest and officially recognized is the classification into introverts and extroverts, this issue has been studied for more than a hundred years. Of particular interest and relevance is the question of whether an introvert can become an extrovert and vice versa.

As early as the beginning of the 20th century, Jung, a world-famous specialist and psychologist, described in his works the types of characters and temperaments - an extrovert and an introvert, conditionally dividing society into two such groups. To understand what these types are, what is the difference between them, you first need to familiarize yourself with the definition of both terms. In addition, modern psychology provides an official decoding of the introvert and extrovert.

extrovert

An extrovert is a person who likes the practical and social aspects of life, that is, any tasks and operations with external real objects. To understand in more detail, psychologists call the main qualities of the character of extroverts, namely:

• friendliness and openness in communications;
• courtesy and sociability;
• sociability;
• assertiveness and activity;
• predisposition to risky actions against the background of susceptibility;
• impulsiveness, intemperance and possible aggressive reaction.

Thus, the listed traits and behaviors clearly demonstrate an extrovert in a person, and it will be quite difficult to hide this feature of temperament.

Introvert

An introvert is a person who is comfortable being inside himself, plunging into a world of reflection and fantasy.. These people exist in their comfort zone outside of society, any contacts and communications cause them embarrassment, discomfort, in the most neglected cases - fear and unrest. You can define an introvert by several qualities in character, namely:

• shyness and modesty;
• a tendency to solitude, a limited number of friends and loved ones;
• a tendency to be pessimistic;
• lack of aggression even in a situation that is conducive to such behavior;
• dislike for the manifestation of strong emotions;
• excessive control of their emotional state;
• excessive adherence to principles, not allowing to go against their convictions.

Introverts are calm and balanced people who do not show their emotions and outwardly seem to be closed people, in turn, extroverts are open and impulsive. Introverts spend energy inside themselves, extroverts splash it out. Extroverts are prone to change their minds, which introverts are absolutely not trained in.

Expert opinion

Victor Brenz

Psychologist and self-development expert

If you want to understand for yourself whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, just answer a couple of questions. How will you act in a crisis situation? An extrovert will react quickly with actions, while an introvert will think for a long time. What kind of vacation do you prefer? Extroverts are closer to rest in society and active types of pastime, an introvert likes a passive stay in solitude.

We draw an analogy of two types of personality

In fact, to assume that all people can be conditionally divided into extroverts and introverts is a big mistake. Psychologists note that each person has the qualities of both types, but in an unequal ratio. In different periods of life and in different situations, both introversion and extraversion of temperament and character can appear in people. And the most exciting questions for many people are whether it is possible to become an extrovert or an introvert, how can an introvert become an extrovert and vice versa.

Do you consider yourself an extrovert?

YesNot

Is it possible to go from extrovert to introvert?

First of all, a person must understand that there are very few absolute extroverts and introverts, most of the population has characteristics in temperament from both groups. Before determining whether it is possible to “retrain” from an extrovert into an introvert, psychologists note the main advantages of an extrovert, namely:

• optimism;
• active life position;
• energy;
• initiative;
• openness to society;
• readiness for work and various activities.

Psychologists note that it will be quite difficult to completely change from a pronounced extrovert and introvert, since already from childhood such a person shows adaptability and adaptation to living conditions, the ability to perceive information and various reactions. It is only possible to approach the type of an introvert by cultivating some of its features and behavior patterns.

Is it possible to go from an introvert to an extrovert?

Much more often the question is how to stop being an introvert and become an extrovert, because for many introverts life is spoiled by excessive isolation and asociality. First of all, psychologists insist on a reassessment of such a need, giving attention to the main advantages of the character of an introvert, namely:

• self confidence;
• the ability to focus on one goal;
• creativity of thinking;
• excellent level of self-control over emotions and thinking;
• efficiency;
• integrity.

This type of character is more predisposed to intellectual, but independent work, which is also in demand in modern society. It is almost impossible to completely “retrain” from an introvert, closed in on himself and with an orientation purely within himself, into a social and communicative extrovert. Psychologists say that such people will be able to reach the golden mean, since the model of behavior and character traits are laid down from childhood.

Conclusion

An extrovert is a person with an active life position, who prefers live communication, collective pastime, prone to impulsiveness and emotionality. An introvert is a shy and somewhat reserved person who is closer to solitude with himself, self-control and hiding his emotions from others. Today in society it is quite rare to meet people who can 100% belong to one or another type. And it will be almost impossible for such individuals to change from one type to the opposite, only the golden mean is possible.

“I have been tormented by this question for more than a day. I asked it to everyone I know and whom I don't know. I asked professional psychologists and teachers, no one gives a definite answer, opinions are divided. One thing unites people: almost everyone is perceived as something negative and uncomfortable. And I think that initially we are all ambiverts, but as we grow and develop, while we are brought up, some qualities from one side or another begin to prevail in us. Therefore, during the formation of a personality in the puberty period, we already classify ourselves as extra- or intro-. But we are always changing - and the inner world, and views, and circumstances, and the environment - and our temperament is also subject to change. So an extrovert can become an introvert and vice versa, but the second is more difficult because of the stereotypes of society. I address you as an authority in the field of psychology. What do you think about this and why?

Sandra, 23

Larisa Kharlanova, psychologist:

"Hello Sandra!

Introversion or extraversion is not something that can be brought up in us - just like temperament, however.

If we acquire this way of communicating with the world, it is very early in childhood. All we can do is keep this personality in mind when making important career decisions or when we face something that is very difficult for us to do and difficult to participate in. People evaluate introverts negatively because they do not really understand what is at stake. This is easily confused with schizoid traits or autistic manifestations.

We have almost no chance of developing the other side of ourselves in much the same way as the dominant side. When raising children, choosing activities for them, it is very important to take into account their characteristics, protecting them from unnecessary overwork. But it is known that many people become more extroverted in the second half of life and vice versa, introversion becomes available to extroverts.

Recently, in the auditorium of a psychological club in Zurich, the old building where the Institute was founded, the phrase was heard: “I understand that 90% of the people present here now are introverts, but I suggest ...” The leader of the meeting invited everyone to stand up and get acquainted with as many people as possible, the time for each “meeting” was limited and by the sound of the gong it was necessary to move on to another person.

It is known that most people who choose the profession of a psychologist are introverts. For example, it was difficult for me to talk and meet a new person every 5 minutes, but when I realized that this was only because I was an introvert, that, after all, on the contrary, the same person and that everything, in the most difficult case, is limited In 5 minutes, I was able to relax, turn it into a game for myself, and enjoy the conversation. And an extrovert would not even think for a second, starting to communicate.

An introvert is not someone who cannot communicate, this is a person who is always and above all turned into himself. An introvert can behave like an extrovert, but this will require more mental energy from him.

In the life of each of us there were quiet, inconspicuous, not at all sociable people. Most consider introverts to be almost alien weirdos and shun them. But in vain - introversion is not a pathology, and it is not only possible, but even necessary, to communicate with them. You just have to be able to.

A bit of history

Some signs of an introvert

1. Introverts are boring, introverts are boring.
   It is not true. There are plenty of bores among extroverts. "Intras" simply do not waste time and energy on empty chatter.
2. Introverts are afraid of society, they do not know how to communicate.
   “Insiders” are “insiders” for that, that they do not strive for communication for the sake of communication. They are selective, and communicate only when they want.
3. Introverts are always silent.
   Nothing like this. They are not even averse to talking, but they still prefer close people for these purposes.
4. Introverts are pessimists.
   Nonsense. There is no connection between introversion and pessimistic perception.

How to deal with an introvert guest?

Visiting an introvert

• do not invade the free airspace of the introvert, in other words - do not get too close, and even more so - do not touch him once again. Such behavior of any person can lead out, and even more so for an introvert. Don't violate his comfort zone. Do not forget that a priori it is comfortable for an introvert to be alone, and do not impose;
• listen carefully and do not interfere in his story of experiences, discoveries and other spiritual events. For an introvert, this is the holy of holies;
• do not invade the privacy of introverts - no one asked you to. If he deems it necessary, he himself will tell everything and ask. Kohl does not tell and does not ask, then it is not fate.

Business relationship with an introvert

What to do if you quarrel?

In a world where everyone is focused on success, and connections can help solve almost any problem, being an extrovert is almost bad manners.

Somewhat stereotypical, but not without truth, is the judgment that it is easier for extroverts to succeed in any field precisely because of their cheerful nature, the ability to easily find a common language with people and talk about their achievements without undue embarrassment.

If they start talking in a big company, it will be just a few sentences, but definitely the most accurate, because they are better able to listen and analyze. They are more likely to direct their attention to someone specific and start a sincere and pleasant conversation with him. While the extrovert has already exchanged contacts with everyone, half invited to visit him, and for some he managed to become a best friend, the introvert did not even remember half of the names.

How can an introvert build relationships with people around him and succeed?

Introverts know the feeling when they simultaneously want to be part of a big fun company, but as soon as they get there, they feel tired, bored or uncomfortable - anything but fun. Introverts are uncomfortable talking about their accomplishments, while extroverts may brag about lesser accomplishments. you can become only after a few sincere conversations, and not after the first glass of wine drunk together. Introverts are mistakenly considered to be alert and unfriendly, while they just need time to get used to their surroundings.

Once in the company of extroverts, introverts have to survive, and if they also want to do something significant, then fight with extrovert competitors, and this struggle has its own peculiarity: you need to play by their rules or understand the technology of their game in order to establish your own rules and persuade them to follow. Having studied your advantages, you can operate with them and, like extroverts, establish important connections that will bring you closer to the desired success, without creating unnecessary discomfort.

1. Smile

It's as simple as smiling! This is a familiar unambiguous (if the smile is sincere) non-verbal, which relaxes your interlocutor and improves your mood, gives confidence and no one can accuse you of hostility.

2. Tell and show your achievements

All introverts deep down want their achievement to be noticed and appreciated, but they themselves do not like to talk about themselves and do not know how, while accepting compliments is also quite clumsy, often belittling their achievements. It's like a bad habit that you can and should fight.

There are many talented, smart, beautiful people, they are everywhere, and with the help of social networks they also have the opportunity to express themselves to the world. Take advantage of this opportunity too. If you don’t know how to praise yourself, show what you are doing, add a short comment to the post and learn to take compliments for granted, while remembering to thank and respond with mutual courtesy.

3. Build strong relationships with those who make important decisions

You don't have to become friends with everyone. Establishing a good relationship with whoever is in charge and being kind to others will be enough to avoid being seen as a closed and proud person and at the same time not overstep your inner convictions.

We all know the expression: "Do unto others as you would like to be done unto you." But when meeting opposites of character, this will not work, because the excessive perseverance and perseverance of the extrovert will collide with the thoughtfulness and modesty of the introvert.

Therefore, a modification of this thesis sounds: "treat others the way they want to be treated!". Assess the person’s character and be flexible by adopting a demeanor and tune in to the wave of the interlocutor’s mood.

4. Choose a professional niche

Everyone knows such personalities as Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg, Richard Branson and JK Rowling, but not everyone knows that they are still introverts, who, however, have achieved considerable success in their fields.

Since introverts are characterized by a fair amount of observation, patience, perseverance and directing thoughts inward, creative professions are considered the most successful for them: an artist, writer, musician or designer. Entrepreneurship and technology will also appreciate these character traits, as well as those that require no less perseverance: an accountant or a translator.

5. Don't try to change yourself

You should not perceive introverts and extroverts as something absolutely positive or negative, each has its own set of advantages and disadvantages that you need to know and learn how to use to your advantage.

Trying to change yourself, you will become nobody, you will lose your individuality. And for this you need to feel confident exactly in the form that you have. There is no feeling of confidence, find the reason, what you don’t like about yourself and overcome it, getting rid of the complexes.