How to get into the window of falling asleep in a child. A magical way to lay down a child, which every parent can do. How does melatonin - the "sleep hormone" work?

The window is a symbol of new horizons and beginnings, however, for a complete interpretation of sleep, it is necessary to take into account all its nuances. Read the interpretations set out in the most authoritative dream books of the world. What does it mean to see a window in a dream?

Why see a window in a dream

Russian folk dream book

This is the interpretation of the dream book of an open window: if you stand in front of it, any life changes are coming.

An attempt to find a way out in a dream through a window that appeared before your eyes will indicate that there are much fewer opportunities to direct the state of affairs for the better.

If you dreamed of a broken window, you will have to be disappointed in something and experience spiritual anguish.

Modern dream book

In the dream book, an open window promises to receive money or a gift.

Face a new hobby - this is what the window is dreaming of, where the lady is trying to climb.

If in a dream you saw that you fell out of a window, expect a big quarrel or even a fight.

A closed window in a dream portends boredom.

Separation is promised by a lattice dreaming on the window.

I had to insert the glass into the frame - in reality, be sure to take precautions to avoid trouble.

To see the window frame - to a general discussion of your intimate life.

Window curtains are burning in a dream - get ready for an exciting turn of life events.

In a dream, you had to feel the fear that someone would climb into the window that is closed - which means that for some reason you are afraid of the future.

When in a dream the window is covered with a cobweb pattern or you have to look out into the street through the shutters, in reality you can overcome the feeling of loneliness due to isolation.

When they knocked on the window, there is a high risk of developing an ailment that is treated surgically.

And when in a dream you had to see yourself on the windowsill - in reality you will encounter recklessness and punish yourself with your own envy.

Small Velesov dream book

When the window is open - you can wait for guests or gifts.

Closed may dream of boredom.

The glass in the window is broken - the threshold of poverty and loss.

In a dream there was a window with clean and whole glasses - in reality this portends great happiness in life.

In a dream, look out of the window - news will come. They fell out of the window - to the development of a quarrel.

The process of climbing out the window may dream of ruin. The window, curtained with black cloth, dreams of sadness due to the illness of a loved one.

To see an open window - in reality to prove yourself an open and trusting person. On the contrary, a closed window indicates turning inward.

In a dream, you looked through a clean window - it means that you perceive everything in the world around you as it is and do not let yourself be misled.

A dreaming dirty window indicates a bad mood and anger.

Women's dream book

Unsuccessful completion of the most important cases, loss of respectful attitude of relatives and friends - this is what windows dream about, where you try to look in a dream when passing by.

A closed window seen means abandonment.

I had to break a window - expect accusations of infidelity.

When you entered through a window into a dwelling, you will be convicted of using dubious methods allegedly used in order to achieve noble goals.

In a dream, I had to run through the window - misfortune is approaching.

Family dream book

The dream window portends the end of hopes. A broken window promises suspicion of infidelity.

I dreamed about how you settled down on the windowsill - in reality, show all your recklessness.

If in a dream you managed to get through the window into the dwelling, you will be caught cheating.

In a dream, you had to look out the window and see something strange - in reality you can stop being a respected person and meet with failure.

If you had to run away through the window - be careful, because trouble is not far away.

Wanderer's Dream Interpretation

If you climbed into a window in a dream, you are too curious and you will get to know yourself and the world around you.

In a dream, you climb out of the window - there is a high probability of trouble or finding the right way to solve the problem that has arisen.

When there was an open window in a dream, you are a person who is open to people, or you feel regret because of something.

In a dream, you crawl out of a broken window - a solution to a difficult life task or the fulfillment of exciting desires.

A dream, when you look out of the window, prophesies life prospects or such a turn of events that should be interpreted by the view that opens from this window.

Freud's dream book

Symbolizing the sexual organs, an open window promises the joy of accessible sexual relations.

To see a dirty window is to meet the health problems of the genitals.

When a woman dreams that she opens a window, this indicates that she has a desire for sexual relations with another lady. When a man dreams of an opening window, he wants to have sexual contact.

Washing windows - the desire to have children.

You broke the window - to meet in reality that intimate adventures can become a big problem.

Aesop's dream book

To stand in a dream in front of an open window means in reality to expect changes and the choice of a new life path.

If a bird knocks on the window - to receive unexpected news.

Standing at someone else's window - facing unplanned expenses due to the desire of your alleged friend to ruin you.

A dream of broken glass prophesies ailment, longing in the soul and disappointment.

To see a closed window is to face an unforeseen obstacle in reality.

To wash a dirty window in a dream - in real life, you will receive well-being and success for your diligence.

Promises to face something mysterious dream silhouette at the window.

An attempt to climb home through the window predicts a fun and carefree time.

An attempt to open a window in a dream promises hope for a brighter future.

More and more families came to me with the same problem. The baby is unable to enter normal sleep patterns. Among the questions that I am asked most often, I have identified the TOP 5:

• How to quickly put the child to sleep and why does he fall asleep badly?
• Why does the child often wake up at night?
• How much sleep should a child at a particular age?
• Why does a child cry at night in a dream?
• How to fix a child's sleep pattern?

As you know, each case is special, so I pay a lot of attention to studying the history of each family who turned to me for help. But these families have one thing in common - children go to bed very late. Often, kids just start to go to bed after 9 pm, and this process can take not 10-15 minutes, but stretch for an hour and a half! This is the biggest signal that the sleep schedule needs to be changed and start putting your child to bed much earlier.

Any human organism is a very complex organization of cyclical events.

Let's remember: the menstrual cycle in women, the food intake cycle (remember how much you want to eat if lunch didn’t take place at the usual time?), Prolactin, which is released in greater quantities from 2 to 5 in the morning. The sleep-wake state is also regulated by hormones that are released cyclically and triggered by the light of the morning sunrise. During the peak of these hormones, the overall body temperature decreases, the processes in the body slow down in such a way that it is easier for the body to fall asleep and sleep longer. The quality of sleep during these periods is higher and the brain uses this time with maximum efficiency. Modern scientists have been able to accurately determine the time frame for the highest concentration of these hormones in our blood. The ideal window for a toddler's morning nap is 8-30/9 am; the best time to start the lunch nap and siesta is 12-30/13 pm, and the interval between 18-20 pm is the biologically correct time to go to bed.

What happens when the baby does not fall into the recommended phase of the beginning of sleep? The brain, which has not received the opportunity to rest, goes into a state of overload and begins to actively produce a new hormone - cortisol. Many people know this substance as an indicator of various kinds of stress, and this is actually the case. We get better from it, we get nervous, it triggers all kinds of neuroses and slows down the speed of higher nervous processes. It slows down our ability to calm down and relax, only speeding up physical reactions to a certain extent. Remember the toddler who "overdid it" - he is capricious, hyperactive, overreacts to the slightest stimulus, unable to play with one toy for a long time. Moreover, this hormone tends to accumulate quickly and is very slowly excreted from the body even after the baby has been put to bed. Hence the problem with difficult falling asleep, multiple nightly rises and extremely early morning awakenings.

Often, a tired baby, who had difficulty falling asleep, wakes up in half an hour with bitter crying - he did not rest at all, and cannot continue to sleep.

Since this is such a "harmful" hormone - why do we need it? Nature is wise, and she gave us this substance in order to stimulate muscles and blood pressure in a state of stress and enable us to escape from a predator, and in times of famine, it is cortisol that prevents blood sugar from falling below normal. As you can see, this is a kind of protector of our body in very difficult situations, which are almost always accompanied by stress and lack of sleep.

Where did late bedtime come from?

Let's ask domestic pediatricians, neurologists, experienced grandmothers and other children's specialists about when to put the child to bed? I think the answers will be varied, but all at a late time - you can hear “21-00”, and “after 22-00”, and, my favorite: “the later he lies down, the longer he sleeps in the morning». Even by all of us from childhood, our favorite program “Good night, kids” is aired around 21-00! How is it that all these people are wrong? Or is it my article trying to ride the wave of a new and fashionable idea, which is only wonderful because it opposes everything known and old?

I have great respect for the experience and knowledge of medical professionals and I must say that 90% of modern knowledge about the physiology of sleep, including children's sleep, has been obtained over the past 25 years. Unfortunately, the curriculum of medical schools in the field of somnology does not have time to keep up with new discoveries. Even in the advanced United States of America, for 4 years of residency, future pediatricians receive only 2.5 hours of lectures on how children sleep.

The second moment, which played an important role in how we organize the sleep of children, dates back to 1917. It was then that women first received the right to paid maternity leave of 112 days. After this period, the children went to the nursery, and the mothers returned to work for a full 10-hour working day. Of course, in the nursery, nannies were forced to maximize the intervals of daytime sleep in order to somehow cope with a large number of children in the group, and, accordingly, the moment when the babies were ready to fall asleep at night shifted. No one needs to be reminded of the clear daily routine in Soviet-era children's institutions, and soon, children began to sleep for a very long time during the day.

When there is no other choice, babies can surprisingly redistribute the total number of hours of sleep in a day, provided that cortisol is not accumulated.

So it turned out that the mother took her child only by 7-8 pm, and the baby, having slept 5-6 hours during the day, was ready for bed no earlier than 21-22 hours. This order has been preserved to this day, with the only difference being that now, with the withering away of the principles of a strict daily routine, children even sleep a couple of hours during the day. Meanwhile, lack of sleep triggers a vicious cycle of cortisol release.

Is it really all that scary?

Many of you probably grew up going to bed at 21-22 hours. However, let's think about whether it affected your health? Who among us has never known problems with sleep, always falls asleep easily and wakes up cheerfully at the right time? In fact, only a few observe proper sleep hygiene. No wonder pharmacological drugs to improve the quality and quantity of sleep, both for children and adults, are now at the peak of demand. And besides, if everything was fine, would you have spent all this time on such a long article? Many parents are already desperate to find a way out - the current version does not work, and how to build a new one is not clear. My recommendation is simple - keep your baby's regimen according to age needs: ensure early bedtime, keep the innovations for at least a week and evaluate the result. Write in the comments below what you did, and I'm sure you will have something to brag about! Don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter to the right of this article so you don't miss a single new one :)

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Green Parenting: Are you noticing a burst of activity in your child in the evening? Does the child suddenly become very active, noisy, sometimes uncontrollable? Despite the late time, it seems that he will now start running along the walls and something, but he definitely doesn’t want to sleep?

It is worth complaining about the fact that your baby cannot fall asleep for a long time in the evening - and someone will definitely advise you to put him down later and give him a proper run before bed. This advice is good for an adult, but not suitable for a child.

What to do if the child does not want to sleep on time

Circadian rhythms

The functioning of our entire body is tuned to certain natural rhythms. All living things on Earth, including man, are subject to them.

These rhythms are called circadian and are based on a 24-hour cycle.. The stability of circadian rhythms is promoted not only by light factors, but also by hormones produced in our body with a certain cyclicity.

The natural rhythms of young children are tuned for early awakening in the morning and, accordingly, early laying down for a night's sleep. By this time, the body produces all the hormones necessary for falling asleep, a kind of “natural sleeping pill”.

Emergency situation

And what happens if a person (in this case, it doesn’t matter whether a child or an adult) does not go to bed at the “appropriate” time?

Our brain, like hundreds of years ago, comes from the fact that "something happened". And he, in general, no matter what it is: flood, attack by wild animals or enemies - or just a tablet with toys.

It is important that the situation is regarded as "force majeure", and the brain begins to perform a new task - not to sleep.. And don't want to sleep. And now new hormones are being produced to help with just that.

"Second wind"

You have probably experienced this feeling: like it would be desirable to sleep, and even very much it would be desirable. You drank tea, sat in front of the TV, did some housework... And they found that they did not want to sleep at all!

It was those hormones that came into play that help not want to sleep. And until their action ends, it will be very difficult to fall asleep.

The same thing happens in children. If you don’t put the baby to bed on time, at a time when his body is ready to fall asleep (we call this “window to sleep”), then the child “walks over” - and difficulties with falling asleep are guaranteed.

What does it look like

Do you notice a sharp burst of activity in your child in the evening? Does the child suddenly become very active, noisy, sometimes uncontrollable? Despite the late time, it seems that he will now start running along the walls and something, but he definitely doesn’t want to sleep? Most likely, the “window to sleep” was missed. Now, indeed, it will be difficult to put the child to bed until the child "falls from fatigue."

Such wakefulness occurs due to the reserves of the body as a whole and the nervous system in particular. There is no big trouble if this happens from time to time with a child who is generally getting enough sleep. But, occurring constantly, this not only harms the child and his development, but also leads to the consolidation of a bad habit.

What to do?

If you recognize your situation and would like to change it, it is worth changing the time for putting the child to sleep. It is important that the preparation for sleep is completed before the onset of the period of evening activity. If by the time of laying down the child is calm and relaxed, and you learn how to accurately hit the “window into sleep”, it will be much easier and faster for the baby to fall asleep.

To determine the time of the "window to sleep", remember(better write it down to be safe) the time at which you usually see your child become very aroused. Some time before this point, you can see signs of fatigue in the child, - start styling immediately!

It is best to organize the day so that by the time signs of fatigue appear, both you and your child are already completely ready for bedtime.

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet

Is it possible from the first days of a baby's life to learn to understand his "language" and begin to fully communicate with him? How to understand the character of a newborn in order to care for him, taking into account his personal characteristics and temperament? Are there simple and reliable solutions for common infant problems such as "unreasonable" crying or not wanting to sleep at night?

Tracey Hogg, specialist in newborn care, talks about this and much more. Her many years of experience and recommendations have helped so many families, including stellar ones, to cope with the difficulties of the first year of parenthood and raise happy and healthy babies. All of Tracy's advice is extremely practical and accessible to everyone, and the techniques she offers are extremely effective - perhaps because her approach is based on a respectful attitude towards newborn children, albeit small, but personalities.

Why this book is worth reading

• Tracey Hogg is one of the most famous authors of parent-child literature, she is recognized on a par with the eminent Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish, William and Martha Sears;
• a must-have for all parents who have newborns: you will understand what to expect and learn to cope even with what you did not expect;
• the author will competently and kindly explain to every mother and father how to raise a happy child in love, respect and care;
• parents around the world call Tracy the modern Mary Poppins for her actionable advice;
• modern pediatricians recommend the author's books to parents all over the world.

Who is the author
Tracey Hogg is rightfully considered the modern Mary Poppins; all over the world, young mothers use her technique to fall asleep babies on their own.
The author was a nurse, and in order to help babies, she had to learn to understand their language and decipher the signals they sent. Thanks to this, Tracy was able to master their non-verbal language. After moving to America, she devoted herself to caring for newborns and women in childbirth and helping new parents.

How to teach a baby to fall asleep on his own and sleep peacefully through the night?

My newborn baby was about two weeks old when I was suddenly deafened by the realization: I will never be able to rest again. Well, never is perhaps too strong a word. There was hope that by sending my son to college, I would still be able to sleep peacefully at night again. But I was ready to give my head for cutting off - as long as he is a baby, this does not shine for me.
Sandy Shelton. Good night sleep and other lies

Sweet dreams, my dear!

In the first days of life, the main occupation of the newborn is sleep. Some sleep in the first week up to 23 hours a day! Of course, every living being needs sleep, but for a newborn it is everything. While the baby sleeps, his brain is working tirelessly to create convolutions necessary for mental, physical and emotional development. If the child had a good night's sleep, he is collected, focused and happy with everything - just like an adult after a good rest. He eats heartily, plays enthusiastically, radiates energy and actively communicates with others.

The body of a child who does not sleep well cannot function normally because his nervous system is depleted.

He is irritable and uncoordinated. The baby is reluctant to take the breast or bottle. He doesn't have the strength to explore the world. Worst of all, overwork exacerbates the sleep problem. The point is that bad sleep habits create a vicious circle. Some babies are so tired that they are physically unable to calm down and fall asleep. Only when there is absolutely no strength left, the poor things finally turn off. It hurts to watch how the baby literally stuns herself with her own crying, trying to isolate herself from the world, she is so overexcited and upset. But the worst thing is that even this hard-won dream turns out to be shallow and intermittent and sometimes lasts no longer than 20 minutes. As a result, the child almost constantly lives "on the nerves."

So, everything seems to be obvious. But you should know how many people do not understand this simple thing: to develop a healthy sleep habit, an infant needs parental guidance. So-called sleep problems are typical because many parents are unaware: they, and not their children, should decide when the baby goes to bed and how to fall asleep.

In this chapter I will tell you what I myself think about this, and many of my thoughts will certainly come into conflict with what you have read or heard from others. I'll teach you how to notice a baby's fatigue before it becomes overtired, and I'll tell you what to do if you miss a valuable time window when the baby is easy to put to bed. You'll learn how to help your baby fall asleep and how to eliminate sleep-related problems before they become a persistent problem.

Down with delusion: light sleep

Now the minds of parents are owned by two radically different "schools" from one another.
The first includes adherents of co-sleeping, whatever it is called, whether it is "sleeping in the parent's bed" or the Sears method. (Dr. William Sears, a California pediatrician, promotes the idea that babies should be allowed to sleep in their parents' bed until they ask to have their own bed.) This method is based on the idea that a child a positive attitude towards sleep and putting to bed should be developed (here I am “for” with both hands) and that the most correct way to this goal is to carry it in my arms, nurse and stroke it until the baby falls asleep (which I categorically object to). Sears, the method's most influential promoter, perplexed in an interview published in Child magazine in 1998: "How can a mother be tempted to put her child in a box of bars and leave him in a dark room all alone?"

Proponents of parent-infant co-sleeping often cite traditions from other cultures, such as Bali, where newborns are not let go until they are three months old. (But we don't live in Bali!) Members of the La Leche League believe that if the baby is having a hard day, the mother should stay in bed with him, providing him with the extra contact and care he needs. All this serves to “strengthen the attachment” and create a “sense of security,” so supporters of this view believe it is quite possible for mom and dad to sacrifice their time, personal life and their own need for sleep. And to make it easier for them to do so, Pat Yerian, co-sleeping advocate opined in The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, urges disgruntled parents to change their minds: “If you can take the step towards greater tolerance [of your baby waking you up], you will be able to enjoy those quiet moments of nighttime interaction with a newborn who needs your hands and affection, or a little older baby who just needs to be with someone next to you. ".

At the other extreme is the delayed response method, often referred to as "Ferber" after Dr. Richard Ferber, director of the Center for the Study of Children's Sleep Disorders at Boston Children's Hospital. According to his theory, bad habits associated with sleep are acquired, which means that they can be weaned (with which I completely agree). Accordingly, he recommends that parents put the baby to bed when he is still awake and teach him to fall asleep on his own (I also agree with this). If the child, instead of falling asleep, begins to cry, actually turning to the parents with an appeal: “Come, take me away from here!” - Ferber advises to leave crying unattended for longer and longer periods of time: the first night for five minutes, the second for 10, then 15, etc. (and here Dr. Ferber and I part ways). Dr. Ferber’s explanation is given in Child magazine: “If a kid wants to play with a dangerous object, we say “no” and set boundaries that can cause him to protest .... The same thing happens when we explain to him that there are rules at night. Sleeping well at night is in his own interest.”

Perhaps you have already joined one or the other camp.
If any of these two methods suits you and your child, fits your lifestyle, do not hesitate, continue in the same spirit. But the fact is that I often get calls from people who have already experienced both of these approaches. Usually events develop as follows. One parent initially favors the idea of ​​co-sleeping with their child and convinces their partner or partner that this is the best thing to do. In the end, there really is something romantic in this - a kind of return "to the origins." And night feedings are no longer a problem. The enthusiastic couple decide not to buy a crib at all. But a few months pass - sometimes quite a lot - and the idyll ends. If mom and dad are very afraid of “sleeping” the child, then they themselves may lose sleep due to constant fears, and someone develops a painful sensitivity to the slightest sound made by the baby in a dream.

The baby may wake up frequently—every two hours—and demand attention. And if it is enough for some kids to stroke or hug them tightly so that they fall asleep again, then others think it's time to play. As a result, parents are forced to roam around the apartment: one night they play with the child in the bedroom, the other they doze in the living room, trying to catch up. Be that as it may, if both of them were not 100% convinced of the correctness of the chosen method, internal resistance begins to grow in one of them who succumbed to the persuasion of the other. This is where this parent grabs the “Ferber” method.

The couple decides it's time for the baby to get her own bed and buy a crib. From the point of view of the baby, this is a revolution, the collapse of the familiar world: “Here are my mom and dad, they put me to bed with them for several months, rocked me, roamed, spared no effort to make me happy, and suddenly - bang! I was rejected, evicted to another room, where everything is alien and frightening! I don’t compare myself to a prisoner and I’m not afraid of the dark, because my infantile mind does not know such concepts, but I am tormented by the question: “Where did everyone go? Where are the native warm bodies that have always been there?” And I cry - otherwise I can not ask: "Where are you?" And they finally show up. They stroke me, ask me to be smart and sleep. But no one taught me how to fall asleep on my own. I'm still a baby!"

In my opinion, radical methods are not suitable for all children. Obviously, they did not suit the children whose parents turn to me for help. Personally, I prefer to stick to what I consider the golden mean from the very beginning. I call my method "smart approach to sleep."

Three phases of sleep

Falling asleep, the child goes through these three phases. The whole cycle lasts about 20 minutes.

Phase 1: "window". Your child cannot say, "I'm tired." But he will demonstrate this to you by yawning and other fatigues. Before he yawns a third time, put him to bed. If this is not done, he will not proceed to the second phase of falling asleep, but will cry.

Phase 2: "off". The beginning of this phase is marked by the characteristic look of the child, frozen, directed to no one knows where - I call it "a look into the far distance." The child holds it for 3-4 minutes, and although his eyes are open, in fact he does not look anywhere - his consciousness hovers somewhere between reality and sleep.

Phase 3: "sleep". Now the child resembles a person who dozed off on the train: the eyes close, the head falls on the chest or to the side. It seems that he has already fallen asleep, but it was not there: the eyes suddenly open wide, the head jerks back to its previous position, so that the whole body trembles. Then the eyelids close again, and everything repeats again and again from three to five times, after which he finally sinks into sleep.

What is a smart approach to sleep?

This is the middle way, refusing any extremes. You will notice that my approach takes some of both of these principles, but not all, because, in my opinion, the idea of ​​"let him cry and sleep" is not compatible with a respectful attitude towards the child, and co-sleeping makes parents sacrifice their own interests. My principle takes into account the interests of the family as a whole, the needs of all its members. On the one hand, the baby must be taught to fall asleep on his own - he must feel comfortable and safe in his own bed. On the other hand, he also needs our presence to calm down after stress. You can not start solving the first problem until the second is solved. At the same time, parents also need proper rest, time that they can devote to themselves and each other; their life should not revolve around the baby around the clock, but they still have to give the baby some time, effort and attention. These goals are by no means mutually exclusive. Next, I will tell you what a reasonable approach to sleep is based on, and with this in mind, you will solve all the problems that lie ahead of you. Throughout the text of the chapter, I will give examples of the practical implementation of each element, so that it would be easier for you to master the first "C" of my wonderful PASS (Nutrition - Activity - Sleep - Free time for parents - read more about this in other chapters - approx. Maternity.ru).

Go where you want to go. If the idea of ​​co-sleeping appeals to you, explore it thoroughly. Is this how you would like to spend every night for three months? Six months? Longer? Remember: everything you do is teaching your child. So, if you help him fall asleep by holding him to your chest or rocking him for 40 minutes, you are actually telling him: “So you should fall asleep.” When deciding to go this way, you must be prepared to follow it for a long time.

Independence does not mean neglect. When I say to the mother or father of a newborn baby, “We have to help her become independent,” they look up at me in amazement: “Independent? But, Tracy, she's only a few hours old!" “When do you think we should start?” I ask.

No one, even scientists, can answer this question, because we do not know when exactly the baby begins to comprehend the world in the full sense of the word. "So start right now!" I urge. But teaching independence doesn't mean stopping crying alone. This means meeting the needs of the baby, including picking her up when she cries - because by doing this she is trying to tell you something. But once her needs are met, she needs to be let go.

Watch without interfering. You may remember that I already gave this recommendation when talking about games with a baby. It is also true for sleep. Every time a baby falls asleep, it goes through a sequence of certain phases (see "The Three Phases of Falling Asleep"). Parents should know this sequence well so as not to violate it. We should not interfere with the natural processes of the child's life, but observe them, giving the crumbs the opportunity to fall asleep on their own.

Don't make your child dependent on crutches."Crutch" I call any object or any action, having lost which the child experiences stress. It is not necessary to hope that the baby will learn to fall asleep on his own, if you suggest to him that daddy's hands, half an hour of motion sickness or mommy's nipple in her mouth is always at his service. As I noted in Chapter 4, I approve of the use of pacifiers, but not as a plug for a crying baby. Putting a pacifier or breast on a baby to shut his mouth is simply impolite. Moreover, if we do this or endlessly carry the crumbs in our arms, cradle and rock, in order for her to fall asleep, we actually form her addiction to the “crutch”, depriving her of the opportunity to develop self-soothing skills and learn to fall asleep without outside help.

By the way, a "crutch" is not at all the same as a transitional object - say, a plush toy or a blanket - which the child chooses himself and to which he becomes attached. Most infants under seven or eight months of age are not capable of this - the "attachments" of very young children are for the most part formed by parents. Of course, if your baby is comforted by a favorite toy hanging in her crib, let her have it. But I am against any things that you give her to calm her down. Let her find her own ways to calm down.

Develop rituals for daytime and nighttime sleep. Putting the baby to bed during the day and in the evening should always be a routine. I never tire of emphasizing: babies are incredible traditionalists. They prefer to know what's next. Studies have shown that even very young children, trained to expect certain stimuli, are able to anticipate them.

Learn about your baby's sleep habits. All “recipes” for how to put a baby to sleep have a common drawback: there are no universal remedies. One suits one, another another. Yes, I offer parents a lot of general advice, including acquainting them with the phases of falling asleep that are common to all, but I always advise you to carefully look at your child, the one and only.

The best thing is to keep a sleep log of your baby. In the morning, write down when he woke up, and add entries for each daytime sleep. Note when he was put to bed in the evening and what time he woke up at night. Keep a journal for four days. This is enough to understand how your child’s sleep is “arranged”, even if it seems that there is no system in this.

For example, Marcy was convinced that her eight-month-old Dylan's daytime naps were completely erratic: "He never goes to sleep at the same time, Tracey." But after four days of keeping a journal of observations, she noticed that although the time changes slightly, Dylan always falls asleep briefly between 9 and 10 am, sleeps another 40 minutes between 12:30 and 2:00 pm, and by five in the evening always turns out to be very cranky and irritated and passes out for about 20 minutes. This knowledge helped Marcy plan her day and, last but not least, understand the behavior and mood of her baby. Given Dylan's natural biorhythms, she streamlined his daily life, providing him with the opportunity to fully relax. When he began to act up, she better understood what was the matter and whether he wanted to sleep, and reacted faster.

The Magic Road to Happiness

Remember Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz had to walk down the yellow brick road to find someone to help her get home? After a series of mistakes and disappointments, she finally found this helper - her own wisdom. In fact, I help parents go the same way. Whether or not your child gets healthy sleep is up to you, I explain. This needs to be learned, and the process of learning is initiated and carried out by the parents. Exactly! Babies need to be taught how to fall asleep properly. The path to healthy sleep consists of the following steps.

Create conditions for sleep. Since babies are in dire need of predictability, and repetition is the mother of learning, the same thing should be done and said before every nap and night. Then, at her childish level of understanding, the baby will realize: “I see, so I’m going to sleep now.” Do the same rituals in the same order. Say something like: "Well, my joy, it's time to bye-bye." When moving your baby into her room, stay calm and speak quietly. Don't forget to check if it's time for a diaper change so she's not in the way. Draw the curtains. At the same time, I say: “Goodbye, sunshine, see you when I sleep,” or, if it happens in the evening and it’s dark outside: “Good night, month.” I find it wrong to put the baby to sleep in the living room or in the kitchen. It's disrespectful to say the least. Would you yourself like your bed to be in the middle of the trading floor and people loitering around? Of course not! This is what the child does not want.

Catch signals. Just like adults, babies yawn when they get tired. Yawning is a natural response:
a tired body does not function optimally, and the amount of oxygen entering the brain due to the work of the lungs, heart and circulatory system is slightly reduced. Yawning allows you to "swallow" more oxygen (try to mimic a yawn and you will feel that the breath becomes deeper). I urge parents to respond as much as possible to the first yawn of the baby - well, at least the third. If you overlook the signs of drowsiness (see "Signs That It's Time for Baby to Sleep"), then certain types of children, such as mimosas, will quickly turn into tantrums.

Advice. To create the right mood for the child, draw his attention to the pleasant aspects of the rest. Sleep should not seem like a punishment or a struggle to him. If you say “it’s time to sleep” or “you’re tired, you need to rest” in such a tone as they say “get out of sight, ugly boy!”, then the child will grow up in the belief that they are sentenced to daytime sleep, as if to exile in Siberia, juvenile delinquents to deprive them of every pleasure.

The closer to the bedroom, the quieter the speech and the slower the movements. Adults like to read a book or watch TV before bed to take their minds off the day's worries. Babies need to relax too. Before going to bed, nightly bathing, and from the age of three months and massage will help the baby get ready for bed. Even before a day's rest, I always put on a soothing lullaby. For about five minutes, I sit with the baby in a rocking chair or on the floor so that she gets more tactile sensations. If you want, you can tell her a story or just whisper sweet words. However, the purpose of all this is not to put the child to sleep, but to calm him down. Therefore, I immediately stop pumping the baby as soon as I see a “look into the far distance” - the second phase of falling asleep - or I notice that her eyelids are drooping, telling me that she is moving on to the third phase. (As for bedtime stories, it’s never too early to start, but I usually start reading aloud at about six months old, when the child can already sit and listen intently.)

Advice. Do not invite guests at the time when you put the child to bed. This is not a performance. The child wants to participate in everything. He sees the guests and knows that they have come to visit him: “Wow, new faces! You can look and smile! So what, mommy and daddy think I'll fall asleep and miss it all? Well, I do not!"

First in bed, then in the land of dreams. Many people believe that the child can be put to bed only when he falls asleep. This is mistake. Put your baby to bed at the beginning of the third phase - there is no better way to help her learn to fall asleep on her own. There is another reason: think about how the baby feels, falling asleep in your arms or in a swinging device, and waking up for some reason in the crib. Imagine that I wait until you are asleep and drag your bed out of the bedroom into the garden. You wake up and you can’t understand anything: “Where am I? How did I get here? Only, unlike you, a baby cannot conclude: “Oh, it’s clear that someone dragged me here while I was sleeping.” The child will be disoriented, even scared. Eventually, he will no longer feel safe in his own bed.

Putting the child to bed, I always say the same words: “Now I will put it to you, and you will sleep. You know how great it is and how wonderful you feel afterwards.” And I keep a close eye on the baby. Before lying down, she may become restless, especially when she shudders all over, which is characteristic of the third phase of falling asleep. There is no need to immediately pick up the child in your arms. Some children calm themselves down and fall asleep. But, if the baby is crying, gently and rhythmically pat her on the back - let her feel that she is not alone. However, remember: as soon as she stops fiddling and whining, you need to immediately stop stroking her. If you do this for longer than she really needs, she will begin to associate strokes and pats with falling asleep and will no longer be able to fall asleep without it.

Advice. I usually recommend laying the baby on his back. But you can also arrange it on its side, propping it up with two towels rolled into rollers or special wedge-shaped pillows that are sold in most pharmacies. If the child sleeps on its side, make sure that the side changes.

If the road to dreamland is bumpy, give your child a pacifier. I like to use a pacifier in the first three months of a newborn's life - the period when we form a daily routine. This saves the mother from having to replace the pacifier with her own presence. At the same time, I always warn that the dummy should not be used uncontrollably - it should not turn into a "crutch". With a reasonable approach of parents to this issue, the baby selflessly sucks for six to seven minutes, then the sucking movements slow down, and, in the end, the pacifier falls out of the mouth. The baby has already spent as much energy on sucking as it takes to relieve tension, and safely leaves for the realm of sleep. At this point, some well-intentioned adults come up and say, "Oh, poor thing, you've lost your papilla!" — and shove it back. Do not do that! If the baby needs a pacifier so that the sleep is not interrupted, he will let you know about it - he will begin to whimper and make gurgling sounds.

So, every time the PASS mode brings you to the first "C", follow the above rules - for most babies, this is enough for them to have positive associations with sleep. Let the baby be led into the land of dreams by the same familiar steps, because for him, predictability means safety. You will be surprised how quickly your baby will learn the skills necessary for a reasonably organized sleep. She will even wait for bedtime, because it is so pleasant, and after sleep you feel much more cheerful. Of course, problems cannot be avoided: for example, if a baby
overworked, if she is teething or has a fever (see section on Normal Sleep Problems). But these days are the exception to the rule.

Remember, in order to fall asleep for real, the child needs 20 minutes, and in no case try to speed things up. You will only disrupt the natural process of falling asleep, and the baby will get nervous. For example, if a loud noise, a dog barking, or a slamming door—or whatever—disturbs her in the third phase, she will not fall asleep, but rather wake up, and everything will have to start all over again. The same thing happens to adults when they are about to fall asleep and suddenly a phone call breaks the silence. If a person is irritated or agitated, it can be difficult for him to doze off again. Babies are people too! They're just as nervous, the sleep cycle starts all over again, and you have to wait another 20 minutes for your child to fall into a deep sleep.

If you missed the "window"

If the baby is still very young and you have not had time to thoroughly study his crying and body language, it is more than likely that you will not always be able to respond to his first, second or third yawn. If you have an "angel" or "textbook", it's okay - these kids need a little attention and affection to quickly bounce back. But with other types of babies, especially mimosas, it's helpful to have a little trick or two in the stash in case you miss phase one because the baby is about to overwork. Yes, and sudden noise or other interference at any time can disrupt the natural process of falling asleep, and if the baby is very worried, he will need your help.

First of all, I will tell you what you should not do in any case: do not rock. Do not walk around the room with your child, do not shake him
too energetic. Remember, he's already overexcited. He cries because he has had enough stimuli and crying helps to distract from sounds and from light. You don't need to whip up the activity of his nervous system any more. Moreover, it is with this that the formation of bad habits usually begins. Mom or dad carry the child in their arms or rock to sleep to help them fall asleep. When his weight exceeds 6.5 kg, they try to get him to fall asleep without these "crutches". Of course, the child protests, as if to say, “No, dear ones, we don't do that. You always rock me."

If you do not want to fall into this vicious cycle, do the following to help your child calm down and disconnect from external stimuli.

Swaddling. After long months in the fetal position, the newborn is not accustomed to open space. In addition, he does not yet know that his arms and legs are part of himself. An overworked infant must be given a motionless position, because he is terribly frightened at the sight of randomly moving limbs - it seems to him that someone else is plotting something against him. In addition, these impressions additionally load the already overexcited nervous system. Swaddling is one of the oldest techniques to help a newborn calm down. It may seem old-fashioned, but modern scientific research confirms its effectiveness. To properly swaddle your baby, fold a square swaddle diagonally. Lay the child on the resulting triangle so that the fold is approximately at the level of his neck. Place one arm of the child on his chest at an angle of 45? and tightly wrap the body with the appropriate corner of the diaper. Repeat on the other side. I recommend swaddling during the first six weeks of life. After the seventh week, when the baby makes the first attempts to put his hands in his mouth, you need to give him such an opportunity. Bend his arms at the elbows and leave the palms unwrapped, closer to his face.

Soothing touch. Let the baby know that you are there and always ready to help him. Rhythmically pat him on the back, imitating heart beats. You can also repeat "shh... shh... shh..." - this will remind the baby of the sounds that he heard in the womb. In a low, soothing voice, whisper in his ear, "It's okay" or "You'll just sleep." For some time after you put the baby in the crib, continue to do what you did while holding him in your arms - clap, whisper. The transition from your hands to your own bed will become less abrupt.

Eliminate visual stimuli. Visual stimuli - light, moving objects - are painful for an overworked baby, especially for a mimosa. So we shade the room before we put the baby in the crib, but for some babies this is not enough. If your child is already lying down, place your hand over their eyes—do not place them over their eyes—to shield them from visual stimuli. If you are still holding it, stand motionless in semi-darkness, and with a very overexcited child, in a completely dark room.

Don't go after the child. It is very difficult for parents to cope with an overworked baby. Endless patience and determination are needed, especially if bad sleep behavior has already become a habit. The child whimpers, the parents continue to stroke him, the crying becomes louder. Overwhelmed with stimuli, the infant cries in increasing amounts until it reaches a deafening cry - very clear: "I have no more strength!" Then he takes a breath, and everything starts anew. Usually, the increase in crying occurs three times, until, finally, the child calms down. But already on the second run, many parents lose their nerves, and in desperation they return to the usual “medicine”, whether it is motion sickness, breast offering or a terrible shaking chair.

This is where the problem lies. As long as you keep interfering, the baby needs your help to get to sleep. It doesn’t take a lot of time for a baby to form a dependence on a “crutch” - just a few times is enough, because he still has a very short memory. Wrong start - and every day when you repeat your mistake, the unwanted behavior of the baby will be reinforced. I am often asked for help when the weight of a child reaches 6-7 kg and it becomes burdensome to shake him in your arms. The most serious problems arise when the child is one and a half to two months old. I always tell parents, “You have to understand what's going on and take responsibility for the child's bad habits because you created them. And then the most difficult thing will come: be determined and persistently instill in the baby new, correct behavioral skills. (For more on forming bad habits, see Chapter 9.)

Peaceful sleep until morning

A chapter on baby sleep would be incomplete without talking about when babies stop waking up in the middle of the night.

Let me first remind you that your baby's "day" is 24 hours. She does not distinguish between day and night and has no idea what it means to "sleep until morning without waking up." This is your desire (and need). Sleeping through the night is not an innate property, but an acquired skill. You must teach her to do this and give her an idea of ​​the difference between day and night. To this end, I give parents the following reminder tips.

Be guided by the principle "how much has gone, so much has arrived." For example, if in the morning he was very capricious, and instead of the next feeding, he fills up an extra half an hour, you leave him alone, knowing that he needs this rest (if he lived on a tight schedule, you would wake him up). But don't forget common sense. Do not let your baby sleep more than one feeding cycle during the day, i.e. more than three hours, otherwise he will not sleep at night. I guarantee that no baby who sleeps six hours during the day without a break will sleep more than three hours at night. And if your child does this, you can be sure that he has confused day and night. The only way to “call him to order” is to wake him up, and his nighttime sleep will arrive exactly as many hours as the daytime has gone.

"Fill tank full." It sounds rude, but in order for a baby to sleep through the night, he must have a full stomach. Therefore, from the age of six weeks, I recommend the following two doses: paired feedings - every two hours in anticipation of a night's sleep - and "sleepy" feedings just before you yourself go to bed. For example, you give your baby a breast (or a bottle) at 18:00 and at 20:00 and arrange a "sleepy" feeding at 22:30 or at 23:00. During this last feeding, the baby does not wake up, so its name should be taken literally. In other words, you carefully take the baby in your arms, lightly touch her lower lip with a nipple or nipple, and let her saturate, and your job is to try not to wake her up. When she finishes sucking, go without spitting up. During "sleepy" feedings, babies are so relaxed that they do not swallow air. Keep silent. Do not change the diaper unless it is wet or soiled. With these two tricks, most kids can skip nighttime feedings, as long as they've consumed enough calories for five to six hours.

Advice."Sleepy" feeding of an artificial person can be entrusted to dad. At this time, most men are already at home, and they usually like such an assignment.

Use a blank. If the pacifier doesn't turn into a crutch, it's a great help to help you skip nighttime feedings. A child weighing 4.5 kg or more who consumes at least 700-850 g of formula milk or has six to eight breastfeeds during the day (four to five during the day and two to three paired at bedtime) does not need another feeding during nights so as not to die of hunger. If he wakes up anyway, then it's all about the sucking reflex. This is where a dummy comes in handy if you use it correctly. Let's say your baby usually needs 20 minutes of nighttime feeding. If he wakes up crying, requires a breast or a bottle and is content with five minutes, having sucked out some drops, it is better to give him a pacifier.

On the first night, he will most likely suck her for those 20 minutes until he falls into a deep sleep. The next night, perhaps, it will cost 10 minutes, and on the third, he will not wake up at all at the usual time of night feeding, but only tinker in his sleep. If he does wake up, give him a pacifier. In other words, instead of a bottle or breast, a pacifier is quite suitable. Gradually, the baby will completely stop waking up for this.

That was the case with Cody, Juliana's son. Cody weighed 6.8 kg, and Juliana, after careful observation, realized that the boy wakes up at 3:00 out of habit. Cody sucked from the bottle for about 10 minutes and immediately fell asleep. Juliana asked me to visit, first of all, to make sure that her conclusion was correct (however, from one description of her, I realized that she was right). Besides, she wanted Cody to unlearn waking up at this time. I spent three nights at their house. The first night I took Cody out of the crib and gave him a pacifier instead of a bottle, which he sucked for 10 minutes, as he used to suck on a bottle. The next night I left him in his crib, gave him a pacifier, and this time he sucked for only three minutes. On the third night, as expected, Cody whimpered a little at 3:15 but didn't wake up. That's all! From that moment he slept peacefully until six or seven in the morning.

Don't run up to the child. The sleep of an infant is intermittent, so it is unwise to respond to any sound. I often convince parents to get rid of the damned "baby monitors" that amplify any sigh or squeak of the baby to their ears. These gizmos turn parents into freaky alarmists! I never tire of repeating: you need to understand the difference between a response and a rescue operation. If the parents are responsive to the child's needs, the child will grow up confident and not afraid to explore the world. But if his parents continuously "rescue" him, then he is imbued with doubts about his abilities. He does not develop the character traits and skills necessary to explore the world and feel calm and comfortable in it.

We all want children to fall asleep quickly and easily, to “lay down and sleep!”. But sometimes laying stretches for long hours, during which the child cries, resists, falls into hysterics. He seems to want to sleep, but does not fall asleep. How to put the baby to bed quickly, easily, without tantrums?

There is such a concept: "window to sleep". It must be caught when it opens. And definitely before it closes. What is a "window to sleep"? This is such a good time when the baby is already tired, but not yet overexcited, and can fall asleep peacefully. At this time, laying the child is as simple as possible.

What happens if you miss the "window to sleep"? Usually it "opens" when the "baby's battery" is almost completely dead. The kid wants to sleep, his strength is running out. Imagine what happens if you don't put him down at that moment? The baby's brain will understand that it is necessary to continue to be awake, it is necessary to take strength from somewhere. If such a request is received, the body injects stress hormones (adrenaline and cortisol) into the blood, and then the baby can technically continue to be awake. However, his fatigue did not disappear. The processes of "overexcitation" are included. After that, putting the child to sleep is much more difficult, because an exciting chemical reaction has already started in the blood. And if he does fall asleep, then the dream will most likely be intermittent, restless, with awakenings every 30 minutes, with tears, possibly tantrums. And what is most unpleasant, after such a dream, the baby will get up tired, capricious, will not restore his strength, will not be able to behave adequately, enjoy new discoveries and games.

How to learn to catch the "window in a dream"? In fact, this skill is the key to the successful establishment of a child’s sleep, so it’s worth understanding this issue. There are 2 main points to look out for: the end of the wake time (according to the table of wakefulness norms for the age of the child) and signs of fatigue. When you understand that it will soon be time for sleep, you need to switch to a calm wakefulness mode: dim the lights, sounds, talk to the child more slowly, calmly, do not express vivid emotions, do not run, do not jump, but move on to soothing activities. During such a calm wakefulness, you need to closely monitor the baby and its manifestations, because it is during this period that it is easiest to notice the primary signs of baby fatigue. They will tell you that the “window to sleep” has opened!

Some mothers say that their babies do not show any signs of fatigue, but immediately begin to act up and cry. However, this does not mean that there were no signs of fatigue. They were simply missed, not noticed, because the baby hid them behind active actions and games, or the mother did not carefully study the behavior, facial expressions and other signals of the baby. That's why it's so important to have a quiet wakefulness! During vigorous activity, the baby simply will not show those same primary signs of fatigue, and only the second, or even third signals will become noticeable, which are usually already signs of overexcitation, and not fatigue. In this case, the "window to sleep" is already closing, it is many times more difficult to put down an overexcited child with stress hormones in the blood.

Therefore, the task is to learn to recognize precisely the primary signs of fatigue! How to distinguish them? As I said above, it is important to keep a close eye on the baby at the end of waking hours. Keep track of everything you see about an hour before the intended sleep: what you and your baby did, how he reacted, etc. You can even keep a diary or notes for several days so you don't miss anything.

What signals can be attributed to those that say that the baby is already tired and ready to go to bed? In children, they may vary depending on age.

In the smallest (from birth to 4 months), this can be thumb sucking, a displeased expression on the face, a poorly focused look, as well as a sharp throwing up of arms and legs.

Older kids have more options. It can be a "glassy look" or the so-called "freezes". Or the baby may simply start rubbing his eyes, yawning, pulling his ears or hairs. The child's coordination of movements may deteriorate, he may begin to fall, drop things, etc. Also, a sharply spoiled mood of the baby, tears over trifles, rejection of what usually brings joy, indifference to games or communication with you, and others can also signal fatigue.

It is important to learn to recognize which signs indicate fatigue and readiness to go to bed, and which ones indicate that overexcitation has already happened.

What to do if it was not possible to distinguish the primary signs of fatigue? First of all, try to put the baby to sleep. If it doesn’t work out, and the child actively resists, protests, cries, do not forcefully lay him down, rock him, etc. You should not be angry with him and think that he does not fall asleep "to spite you." You need to treat with understanding, pity the baby. After all, the process of excitement has started inside him, hormones have spun the “carousel”, and now it is very difficult to calm down. The baby wants to sleep, but cannot relax. It's very hard for him! What to do? Go into quiet wakefulness mode, try to completely stop any activity, help your baby relax. And keep watching closely. At some point, the baby will definitely show signs of fatigue again and the “window to sleep” will open again.

If you learn to catch the "window into sleep" and recognize the signs of fatigue of your baby, the process of laying down will become simple, fast and enjoyable for both of you!