Mistakes in art. “Mistakes of great masters. The sunset of realism. “Where did we come from? Who are we? Where are we going?"

Everyone makes mistakes. Scientists draw wrong conclusions, financiers invest in risky projects. Neither geniuses nor mere mortals are immune from this. Ordinary people even take pleasure in seeing how great masters make mistakes.

And if scientists have the opportunity to correct their shortcomings, then people of art leave their creations to posterity. As a result, mistakes are sealed by history itself. We will tell below about the most amazing mistakes of the great creators of the past.

Large Romanesque crucifix of San Damiano. This creation was made in the 7th century by an unknown master. It became famous due to the fact that it was in front of this crucifix that St. Francis of Assisi prayed before God gave him the idea of ​​reforming the Roman Catholic Church. However, the ancient creation turned out to be very ambiguous. For a long time this crucifixion was the actual standard for subsequent Christian icons. It has been that way for hundreds of years. This continued until a copy of the canonical work adorned the walls of Warr Akres Church in Oklahoma. Believers suddenly saw that the form of the press of Jesus is depicted in the form of a phallus! Either the artist misinterpreted the image, or he decided to play a joke and bring a little eroticism to the church. Perhaps the master thought that in fact the press should look like this, in the form of a phallus. As a result, the American artist was forced to remake the copy so that it would no longer embarrass the parishioners.

Norman Rockwell's man with three legs. Art critics can admire the general idea of ​​a painting, but ordinary people who understand nothing about high art can find very strange things there. This happened with one painting by Norman Rockwell. One interesting detail eluded the eyes of numerous experts and connoisseurs for a long time. The artist himself produced works like a conveyor belt. During his life, Rockwell created about 4,000 works. Almost all of them are dedicated to ordinary Americans who go about their daily business. The apparent simplicity of the paintings is deceptive, the artist has many admirers. Some connoisseurs even believe that Rockwell is the greatest artist of the 19th century. Glorified his work, published on the spread of the newspaper "The Saturday Evening Post". They turned out to be a shining example of a man who glorified American culture. New covers came out of Rockwell's hands every two weeks. All of them were imbued with love for the country and its ordinary people. The whole world could see firsthand the real American dream. The artist managed not only to really embellish, but to instill in the citizens of other countries that America lives some kind of its own, fabulous life. And the very idea of ​​the American dream became popular among the masses. One of Rockwell's classics is called "People Reading Stock Market Reports". There are four people who are studying the stock prices posted on the poster. This picture was placed on the front page of the newspaper. But the master apparently was so tired that he made one imperceptible, but significant mistake. Cheerful Europeans could interpret this in only one way - mutants live in America! The fact is that the young man in the red sweater leans on the third leg! Two of his limbs are brought together and straightened, but a third leg is visible under the apron. She is bent at the knee and the guy is leaning on her hand. Soon the artist realized that he depicted something wrong. He was shocked by his own carelessness. When Richard Halpern wrote a biography of an outstanding artist, he noted there that Norman Rockwell was extremely reluctant to talk about his work. And the unidentified third limb was called by him only as an unidentified phallic symbol. Are artists so concerned about this topic that it is constantly found in their work?

Masculine women by Michelangelo. In many of the paintings of the great artist, athletic and pumped up people are not male athletes, but the most that neither is women. If a modern person begins to closely study the work of an Italian, then his weakness for unnaturally pumped ladies will quickly be revealed. But in the 16th century, bodybuilders were not yet in nature. Perhaps the master simply had a weakness for transvestites with an athletic appearance? Everyone knows that Michelangelo was a real genius, but what pushed him to portray a woman who looks so much like a bodybuilder? We would forgive the artist for this weakness, but one day he decided to go further - to draw Hercules with naked female breasts. Meanwhile, historians offer a simple solution. There is little doubt that Michelangelo was a homosexual. However, so that his work does not directly indicate this, he diluted the naked figures of men with female bodies. And the same athletes who posed for the artist served as models for them. That is why those representatives of the weaker sex, who are depicted by the master, are hard to call weak. This version is also supported by the shape of women's breasts, which look extremely unnatural on such bodies. Breasts look like they were sewn on by a plastic surgeon. Naturally, this was out of the question in the 16th century. A striking example of such strange forms is the Last Judgment fresco that adorns the Sistine Chapel. One of the women has her breasts glued on.

Moses' horns. A man with horns is not at all a devil or another creature of Hell. This is Moses, who is so depicted in the ten canonical commandments. According to biblical history, these 10 basic laws of life were given to the Jewish prophet by the Lord God himself. In support of such an unusual appearance of the legendary character, there are many paintings, sculptures and other works of art. On all of them, Moses is invariably depicted with satanic horns on his head. But what are they doing there at the holy character? If God really exists, then the written work known today as the Bible has very little to do with him. After all, the Holy Scriptures have been repeatedly rewritten throughout the history of mankind. New rules and doctrines appeared, which the churchmen skillfully imposed on believers. Another hindrance to the proper distribution of the Bible was the language. The fact is that a sentence in Hebrew can take on a completely different meaning in other cultures. The confusion with the presence of untranslatable words in the original source gave rise to confusion. After all, they simply did not have synonyms in another language. It is also worth considering the mentality of various peoples, who interpreted the phrases in their own way. There is a strong possibility that the Satanic horns of Moses came from the work of the famous Saint Jerome. At one time he translated the Bible from Hebrew into Latin, this work turned out to be very clumsy. But this version of the Scriptures became very popular and was called the Vulgate, which means "public". The translator decided that the horn-shaped rays that illuminated the prophet would be incomprehensible to believers and replaced them with devil's horns. So the images of Moses appeared in this form. The creative tradition has existed in art for about a thousand years. Its most famous implementation was Michelangelo's marble sculpture "Moses". It occupies the main place in the sculptural composition on the tomb of Pope Julius II in the Roman Basilica of San Pietro in Vincoli. When the creator created his work, he found out about the erroneous translation, but decided not to argue with the already canonical versions and left his horns to the prophet. Thus, involuntarily, Michelangelo became one of the first in a galaxy of talented masters who, with his work, only strengthened such an image of Moses - with horns on his head.

An indecent gesture by William Penn. This man is considered one of the founding fathers of the modern American state. At one time, he founded an entire colony for Europeans who did not want to obey the colonial authorities. This place was named after himself, Pennsylvania. In 1894, a monument to this historical figure was erected in Philadelphia. A bronze William Penn appeared on top of the clock tower of the local City Hall. The figure turned out to be rather big - as much as 11.28 meters. It is the tallest sculpture placed on top of a building. However, many find Penn to be waving his penis down to the town's residents. To be convinced of this, it is enough to visit Philadelphia. There, any local resident, especially a male, will tell and show the details of this indecent story. If you look at the bronze giant from afar, it turns out that Penn is waving his rather big cock in greeting. Only coming closer it turns out that this is the fruit of an unhealthy imagination. In fact, one of the founders of the United States is waving his hand. Just from a certain angle, the figure looks obscenely strange. The author of this monument was Alexander Milne Calder. He probably thought that the city dwellers would look up at his work, looking at Penn from the square under the tower. But over time, it turned out that the statue is best seen from First Pen Square. And pedestrians cannot get rid of the thought that they are watching the penis of a respectable citizen. From the side of JFK Square, the spectacle remains just as unsightly. Today, we can only guess whether this was the idea of ​​a preoccupied author or whether modern society is to blame. After all, sexual promiscuity led to the fact that people began to catch a hint of the phallus in any objects of a similar shape.

Secret passions of Rembrandt. It seems to be becoming fashionable to suspect the classical artists of the past of homosexual inclinations. Historians and culturologists are constantly looking for new evidence in the biographies and paintings of the great. This trend did not bypass Rembrandt. As proof of his love for men, they cite the famous painting "Night Watch", painted in 1642. On it, the famous artist depicted soldiers preparing for the performance. Only now the shadow from the hand of Captain Frans Kok, giving the order, awkwardly lay on the inguinal region of Lieutenant Willem van Ruytenberg. Although it seems absurd to accuse Rembrandt of something on the basis of this fact, such an absurd theory created a scandal, and they began to inflate it further. Fans of historical conspiracies and secrets came to the conclusion that in this way Rembrandt decided to ridicule the customers of his painting. The fact is that the artist did not like the military and could not deny himself the pleasure of laughing at them on the sly. This story adds scandalousness and the girl standing in the background. After all, a dead rooster hangs on her belt, which is also a direct allusion to the non-standard sexual orientation of the brave musketeers. Rembrandt apparently decided to play a trick on the narrow-minded Captain Cock. After all, he with a smart look in his right hand in a glove holds another glove. And the right one too! Recently, researchers have produced a radiograph of the painting. It turned out that in the process of creating the picture, it was the inguinal part of Reutenburg that underwent the greatest number of changes.

Crazy Horse Memorial. This sculpture was created by Korczak Ziłkowski. It depicts a famous episode from the history of the Indians. One white man asked the warrior Crazy Horse of the Oglala Lakota tribe: "And where are your lands now?" The Indian pointed into the distance and answered the invader: "My lands are where my grave is." The sculptor's mistake is that he underestimated the importance of gestures. What is considered friendly in Russia may well be a deadly insult in Africa. In this case, Zyulkowski depicted an Indian with his hand extended forward and his index finger extended. But among the Indians, such a gesture is traditionally considered rude and aggressive, it is a sign of hatred and contempt. For Europeans, the middle finger of the hand put up, meaning "Fuck you", can be considered an analogue. As a result, the phrase took on a different meaning. The indigenous inhabitants of the earth interpret the sculpture differently now. It seems that the warrior replied: "My land is where your graves are." Thus, instead of symbolic resignation to fate, a picture of readiness to fight came out.

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Artists - these are still eccentrics, no doubt, talented and loving from time to time to hide on their canvases for us, contemplators, many curious Easter eggs.

website shares with you entertaining, but subtle details in the paintings of famous artists that will surprise, make you laugh and make you reconsider your view of art.

1 Hidden Van Gogh Paintings

For quite a long time, there were disputes between eminent art historians over the authorship of the painting “Still Life with Meadow Flowers and Roses”, which has been kept in the funds of the Dutch Kröller-Müller Museum since 1974.

Only now, thanks to modern technology, experts have managed to identify the author of the painting, and it turned out to be Van Gogh. During the examination, it turned out that another work by Van Gogh was hidden under the still life, which depicts two half-naked wrestlers. Scientists know that the artist quite often painted wrestlers, painting over them after.

2. Hieronymus Bosch "The Garden of Earthly Delights"

In his triptych called The Garden of Earthly Delights, Bosch has hidden many different symbols for us. The picture is conditionally divided into Paradise, Hell and Earthly idyll, each leaf of which contains many entertaining Easter eggs. But the man from the side of Hell, on the buttocks of which notes are depicted, gained particular popularity. These notes were "voiced" and called "Melody from Hell".

3. Nude Mona Lisa

It is impossible not to notice the similarity between Leonardo da Vinci's famous painting and a little-known sketch called Monna Vanna, which depicts a naked girl. Previously, it was believed that the first picture was painted by a little-known artist Salai, a student of da Vinci. However, researchers from the Louvre, after a series of examinations, refuted this theory, proving that the canvas entirely belongs to the hand of the eminent artist.

4 Michelangelo's Revenge

The master of ceremonies of the Pope, when examining the almost completed "Last Judgment", insulted the work of Michelangelo, pointing to naked bodies and saying that such a place is only in taverns and public baths.

For this, the wounded Michelangelo on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel depicted a man in the form of a god of hell with donkey ears, which means stupidity, and with a snake biting in the groin.

5. Marc Chagall "Above the City"

In his painting “Above the City”, Marc Chagall depicted a couple hovering over the village - himself and his beloved Bella Rosenfeld, raising his feelings above ordinary human needs. Imbued with romantic trends, the artist, however, did not forget, in the form of pampering, to bring notes of everyday prose into his creation, as if comparing the sublime and the ordinary. So, in contrast to the lovers, a man appeared on the canvas, relieving himself.

6. Jacques-Louis David "The Oath of the Horatii"

The heroes of David's painting swear allegiance to their homeland, throwing up their hands in a gesture that is known to everyone as a fascist greeting, popularly referred to as a "ridge".

Therefore, art historians boldly assume that Jacques Louis David is considered the "discoverer" of this gesture, which is made by the Horace brothers in his famous painting. Only after a while Mussolini borrowed this gesture from the French artist.

7. Norman Rockwell "People Read Stocks"

Norman Rockwell was a terrible workaholic and in his life he painted about 4,000 canvases about the life of average Americans.

However, when creating the picture “People Read Stock Reports,” he lost his vigilance and gave the man a third leg. Looking closer, you can see that on the canvas both legs are straight, and the half-bent one, on which the arm rests, turns out to be the third. The artist himself noticed the mistake only a few months later and was shocked by his inattention.

8. Portrait of Bill Clinton

20 years after writing a portrait of Bill Clinton, author Nelson Shanks admitted that the shadow over the fireplace symbolizes the events associated with the sex scandal between the 24th President of America and White House employee Monica Lewinsky. While working on the painting, the artist took a mannequin dressed in a blue dress, which cast a shadow on the fireplace, as well as on Clinton's reputation.

“The essence of a historical picture is guessing. If only the spirit of the time is observed, you can make any mistakes in the details,” Vasily Ivanovich Surikov argued to the critics of his masterpiece “Boyar Morozova”, who blamed the painter that he was hacking: there was not enough room for the coachman, the boyar’s arm was too long and unnaturally twisted ... And how many more such mistakes were made by great artists? "Secrets of the 20th century" offer a closer look at famous paintings and look at the work of great artists in a new way.

I don't recognize you in makeup!

Let's start the story with one of the greatest masters of the brush - Leonardo da Vinci.

He made an involuntary mistake in the process of creating the famous "Last Supper": if you look at it more closely, you can see that Christ and Judas are the same person. The fact is that da Vinci quickly found a sitter for the role of Jesus - he became a church choir singer, but the search for Judas dragged on for three years. In the end, Leonardo stumbled upon a suitable drunkard, wallowing in the mud of an Italian street. The artist took the tramp to the nearest tavern and began to sketch the appearance of Judas. When the drawing was completed, it turned out that in front of da Vinci ... the same singer who posed for him several years ago.

Another mistake (if you can call it that) was made by da Vinci in the painting “The Annunciation”, where the archangel Gabriel received such small wings from the artist that he could hardly have descended to sinful earth on them without injury.

Leonardo justified himself by saying that his wings are anatomically correct, because they were written off from birds, but an unknown author later added solidity and width to the wings of the archangel. True, as a result, the composition in the picture was broken, and the wings began to look bulky and somewhat grotesque.

Left! Left!

The semi-anecdotal story with the monument to Lenin, where the leader of the world proletariat poses with two caps - one on his head, the other in his hand - turns out to have a historical prototype.

Harmensz van Rijn Rembrandt in his painting “The Performance of the Rifle Company of Captain Frans Banning Cock and Lieutenant Willem van Ruytenbürg” (better known as “The Night Watch”) depicted the watch commander Cock with two right gloves: one on his hand and the other in the same hand .

And the famous Baroque painter Peter Paul Rubens, when creating the canvas “The Union of Earth and Water”, for some reason endowed Venus with two right hands - the depicted left, lying on Neptune’s hand, does not look like the left at all.

Another Baroque artist, the Italian Caravaggio, in the painting “Supper at Emmaus” also feigned and depicted a basket full of fruits and denying the laws of physics - standing on the edge of the table, it does not turn over. Perhaps because Jesus himself is sitting at the table?

If we continue the theme of shifters, then one cannot help but mention a blunder in Ilya Repin’s painting “Barge haulers on the Volga”: there the artel drags a barge on which the flag for some reason is turned upside down.

The face of Vincent van Gogh in his famous "Self-portrait with a severed ear" turned out to be upside down. There, the eccentric artist is depicted with a bandaged ear, but in reality he injured his left - while in the picture his right is injured!

native birches

As for the inaccuracies in the paintings of domestic artists, it seems that here we are ahead of the rest.

So, when the same Ilya Repin, in the process of writing the painting “The Cossacks write a letter to the Turkish Sultan,” discovered that the surroundings and clothes of the characters did not quite correspond to reality, he abandoned the first option and began to paint the picture again.

However, today it will be very difficult for a non-specialist to determine which of the options we can see on the Internet - right or wrong.

In the painting by Viktor Vasnetsov "Bogatyrs" several mistakes were made at once. If we rely on historical data and take the age of Ilya Muromets as a standard, it turns out that at that time Dobrynya Nikitich should already be a gray-bearded, weak old man, and Alyosha Popovich - a little boy, while on the canvas they are depicted almost the same age. And Alyosha, who is right-handed (which is confirmed by the sword hanging to the left), for some reason hung the quiver to the left, making it very difficult for himself to pull arrows out of it in battle.

Emperor Nicholas I turned out to be a very strict critic of painting, for whom the Bavarian battle painter Peter von Hess undertook to paint 12 large paintings depicting the main battles of the Patriotic War of 1812. So, having examined the first picture “Vyazma”, the sovereign ordered “to write ... to Kiel (the court painter) that ... the emperor was extremely pleased with Hesse's painting ... but ... the officers' coats are buttoned in the picture on the left side, with us all the officers are buttoned on the right side, and the number of buttons on these sides should be only 6. There should not be a galloon on the overcoat of a non-commissioned officer. Junker belts do not use bandages for wearing. Do not make white pimples from under ties. However, von Hess did not have to finish the work - the mistakes listed by the sovereign were corrected by professors and students of the battle class of the Academy of Arts.

The painter also got it from the next emperor, Alexander II, who, after examining the next canvas, ordered “that in the picture depicting the battle of Klyastitsy, among the soldiers of the Life Guards of the Pavlovsky regiment, which is in the foreground, Professor Villevalde rewrote the form of uniforms that existed in that time." Fortunately for von Hess, neither Nicholas I nor Alexander II saw in the “Battle of Vyazma” in the hands of Russian soldiers guns from the future, which were not yet in service, and the monogram instead of an eight-pointed star at the Life Cuirassier Imperial Majesties regiments in “ Battle of Borodino.

“With the greatest curiosity, we examined ...“ The crossing of the French troops across the Berezina in 1812, ”wrote the famous Russian writer F.V. Bulgarin in the newspaper "Northern Bee". - In this picture, in our opinion, beauty and shortcomings are half. Laugh at us all great artists and connoisseurs, but we will frankly say that the first thing that caught our eye was non-Russian matting on a Russian cart. Whatever you say, this trifle makes an impression. The matting is grassy, ​​light-yellow, in which coffee is brought to us from America, and is so large that it covers the entire cart. It doesn't smell like Russia! Why, we ask, where did the brand new open suitcase on the same cart come from? Let's ask how they survived, with one of the road carriages, umbrellas and canes in leather cases tied to the rear of the carriage? And where and why is this Kalmyk galloping in a close crowd of foot soldiers? After all, he will crush them ... ”The conclusion from everything written, however, Bulgarin makes an unexpected one:“ The color, as in all the paintings of Mr. Hesse, is pale, but the picture generally belongs to wonderful works of art.

And you are right, Thaddeus Venediktovich is right!...

As the proverb says, there are spots in the sun. There is nothing perfect in the world, and if you set a goal, then you can find small and not very small sins in absolutely everything!

Now you will learn about the five masterpieces of world art, which have egregious errors. Could the artists really make such a big mistake? Or did they decide to deliberately distort reality?

"Sistine Madonna". Rafael Santi
Incredibly, flaws can be seen even on the famous "Sistine Madonna"! First of all, the attention of critics is attracted by the hand of Sixtus II depicted in the picture. At first glance, it looks like he has six fingers!

However, upon closer examination, it becomes clear that Sixtus II still has five fingers. And the bend of the palm is mistaken for the sixth finger.

But there is another interesting moment in the picture. If you look closely at Madonna's legs, you can see an unnaturally thick little finger. Some even believe that initially the Mother of God had six fingers painted, but then the artist corrected this oversight.

"The Birth of Venus". Sandro Botticelli
According to the logic of things, the goddess of love Venus should look like an ideal woman, but this is not observed on Botticelli's canvas. The main character of the picture has an unnaturally long neck and a swollen left leg. And this despite the fact that the leading artists of the Renaissance were famous for the anatomical accuracy of their work!

Some art historians believe that Sandro Botticelli purposely depicted Venus with such shortcomings. Allegedly, he believed that the goddess should take personal qualities, and not just one appearance.

Bar at the Folies Bergère. Edouard Manet
You don't have to be an artist to notice that the arrangement of objects in the foreground differs in the picture from their reflection in the mirror. The bottles are mirrored in the wrong order!

Moreover, the lady is reflected in the mirror at the wrong angle! So how could the world-famous impressionist painter be so wrong? Many art historians agree that Manet deliberately painted the wrong reflection to show the illusory nature of our world.

"The Ninth Wave". Ivan Aivazovsky
Aivazovsky is rightfully considered one of the best marine painters, if not the best at all. But, despite the boundless love for the sea, in his paintings the artist often portrayed him with errors!

For example, a huge wave in the painting "The Ninth Wave" is drawn with a spectacular curving crest. But waves of this form can only be near the coast, and in the open sea they look like a cone! Of course, Ivan Konstantinovich painted his canvases from the shore and could not depict a real storm.

"Dinner at Emmaus". Caravaggio
A meticulous observer can immediately find a number of inaccuracies on this canvas, the main of which is the inconsistency of fruits with the season. According to the plot, the action of the picture develops on the eve of Easter, that is, in the spring. And at this time of the year there can be no fresh grapes, apples and pears!

More attentive viewers correctly noticed that the fruit basket seems to be floating in the air, while in real life it would collapse from the table.

No one on Earth is immune from cretinism, which affects not only mere mortals, but also generally recognized geniuses. Therefore, let's indulge our vanity and see what mistakes the masters of fine art made in their works.

7. Large Romanesque crucifix of San Damino

(San Damiano)

It was made by an unknown craftsman 4 centuries before the events unfolding in the game Assassin's Creed 2 (XI century). He is best known for the fact that Saint Francis of Assisi prayed before him shortly before he received a vision of the reformation of the Roman Catholic Church as a gift from God.

Let's take a closer look at this product of ancient masters.

The crucifixion of San Damino set the standard for all religious Christian icons, which has remained unchanged for many hundreds of years. This continued until his reproduction adorned one of the walls of the church in Warr Acres, Oklahoma, where the majority of believers, with a shudder in their souls and hearts, saw the divine press in the form of ... better look at the original and the work of the artist for yourself clumsy, or just a mischievous joker who decided to bring a little overt erotica to the image of the idol of millions of people. Or maybe the poor guy just thought that the real press has a phallic shape!? Ultimately, the unfortunate artist was called to account and forced to remake his creation.

6. Norman Rockwell gave a man a third leg

People who understand absolutely nothing about art, most often notice in the picture of Norman Rockwell (Norman Rockwell) something that is hidden from the eyes of experts and art lovers.

Norman Rockwell was a real printing press who produced a little bit of 4,000 paintings in his life, most of which show the life of average Americans doing completely ordinary and unremarkable things.

However, despite the seeming simplicity, his works found and continue to find their admirers, who claim that Rockwell is the greatest artist of the 19th century.

His paintings, written for spreads of The Saturday Evening Post, are the clearest example of the work of this man, who glorified the culture of the entire American society. Every two weeks he drew new covers for this newspaper, which were imbued with the American spirit and flaunted the American dream in all its glory to the whole world.

This artist did not just embellish reality, but extolled the United States to a height unattainable for other countries, thereby pushing the idea of ​​the "American Dream" to the masses.

His classic People Reading Stock Exchange, which depicts four people closely studying stock quotes, graced the newspaper's front page. However, the overtired master made one mistake, seeing which, a European resident could interpret the artist's idea in only one way: America is inhabited by mutants!

What's wrong here?

The young man in the red shirt appears to be leaning on his third leg! As you can see, two of his legs are brought together and straightened, while the third, hidden by the apron, is bent at the knee, allowing him to lean on it with his hand.

Rockwell realized that he had drawn something wrong only a few months later and was frankly shocked by his inattention. A writer describing the biography of this outstanding man named Richard Halpern (Richard Halpern) wrote that Mr. Norman Rockwell was reluctant to talk about the painting "People Reading Stock Exchange Reports" and called the third leg nothing more than an unidentified phallic object.

It seems that all the outstanding artists of the past were obsessed with male reproductive organs!? Is the whole article going to be devoted to looking for phallic images in old paintings?

5. Favorite women of Michelangelo ... or is it men?

However, any modern person who decides to take a closer look at Michelangelo's work will conclude for himself that the artist was either not indifferent to pumped bodybuilders, who did not yet exist in nature in the 16th century, or had a hidden passion for athletically built transvestites.

Michelangelo is a universally recognized genius in the history of all mankind, but the question involuntarily begs: what was he thinking when he painted a woman who looks exactly like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his best years?

In principle, everything would not be so bad if one fine day the idea did not come into the artist’s head to start drawing these busty Hercules naked.

Solution!

Most historians are convinced that Michelangelo was a homosexual. To divert any suspicions from his orientation, he diluted the images of naked men in his works with female bodies, models for which were weightlifters who posed for the artist.

That is why most of the representatives of the weaker sex, who came out from under his pen, do not look weak at all. This fact is also supported by the shape of female breasts, which look clumsy and unnatural.

Just look at this beautiful ‘female’ breast, which could be called silicone if plastic surgeons practiced in the XVI:

Even more terrible, as if glued, is the chest of the ‘woman’ on the fresco “The Last Judgment”, which adorns the altar wall of the Sistine Chapel:

4. Moses didn't have horns...or did they?

No, this horned fiend is not the devil, but Moses, as he was depicted in the Ten Commandments - the prescriptions of the 10 basic laws, which, according to believers, were given to the Jewish prophet by the Lord God himself.

There are a huge number of paintings, sculptures and other works of art representing the biblical hero in satanic guise.

Why the hell do I make devil horns on Moses' head?

If God really exists, then he definitely has nothing to do with the Bible that has come down to our days. This is also supported by the fact that throughout its history, the Holy Scriptures have been rewritten countless times, acquiring more and more new doctrines and rules that churchmen have imposed on believers throughout the existence of Christianity.

Another obstacle to the 'Word of God' was tongues; so one sentence in biblical Hebrew can have a completely different meaning, for example, in Russian. The reason for this confusion was the presence in the original source of words that simply do not have synonyms in other cultures. The mentality of native speakers of different languages, who can perceive the same phrase in completely different ways, has also contributed its fly in the ointment to the understanding of scripture.

Therefore, there is a strong possibility that Moses acquired his demonic horns through the work of the notorious Saint Jerome, who made a rather clumsy translation of the Bible from Hebrew into Latin. By the way, later this translation was called the Vulgate (lat. public) and became extremely popular.

The innocent oversight of the author, who decided that believers would like horns more like those of a fucking devil than snotty horn-shaped rays illuminating the face of a prophet, resulted in a real creative tsunami raging in the minds of art people for almost 1000 years.

The most famous product of this cataclysm was the marble statue "Moses" by our old friend Michelangelo, which occupies the central part in the sculptural tomb of Pope Julius II in the Roman basilica of San Pietro in Vincoli:

While working on the sculpture, Michelangelo found out about a mistake in translation, but in order not to conflict with the clergy, he still left the horns.

Thus, our good old Mike became the first of a galaxy of talented artists who, through his work, strengthened the delusion about the true image of the Jewish prophet in the hearts of believers.

3. William Penn waves his…penis to the people of Philadelphia

If anyone does not know, then William Penn (William Penn) is one of the founding fathers of the American state, who founded a colony of refuge for free-thinking Europeans, which he named Pennsylvania in his honor.

The giant bronze colossus of the founder of Pennsylvania was erected in 1894 at the very top of the Philadelphia City Hall clock tower.

The height of the bronze idol, laughing at the top of its lungs over the long-suffering residents of the city, is almost 11.28 meters, which puts this monumental creation of human hands in first place in the list of the tallest statues installed on the tops of buildings.

What do the founding father and the male sexual organ have in common?

When traveling around the USA, be sure to look into a beautiful town called Philadelphia and ask this immodest, but so tormenting your soul question, to one of the locals ... it’s better, of course, to choose a guy or a group of guys who are healthier - they certainly should know.

Your interlocutor, flushed with shame and embarrassment, will certainly send you to hell, but before that he will point his middle finger up in the direction of the majestic statue of William Penn, greeting you with his ... You won’t believe it, with a giant bronze penis.

However, coming closer to the statue, you will realize that your perverted imagination has played a cruel joke on you - no, the founding father is really waving at you, but not with his manhood, but with his right hand.

The sculptor of this monument was Alexander Milne Calder, who most likely thought that the inhabitants of the city would look at his creation from the bottom up, standing under the clock tower.

However, the best view of this statue is for pedestrians walking along 1 Penn Square, who look away in embarrassment at the sight of the Founding Father's sticking out personal belongings.

See how William Penn's outstretched hand in a greeting gesture looks from the side of JFK Plaza (JFK Plaza):

We can only guess whether the hand-penis was the author’s idea or whether the degradation of modern society is to blame for everything, catching a hint of the genitals in all objects that have phallic forms.

2. Playful little hands or Rembrandt's secret addictions

This, of course, is complete crap, smacking of homophobia, but some historians are convinced that Rembrandt was a homosexual and cite as proof of this the painting “Night Watch” (De Nachtwacht) painted by him in 1642, in which, supposedly, the brilliant artist depicted a shadow from the hands of Captain Frans Banninck Cocq giving orders to the Musketeers, stretching to the inguinal region of Lieutenant Willem van Ruytenburch.

Despite all its absurdity, this absurd theory made a lot of noise and was further developed.

Fans of historical secrets and conspiracies agreed that the disliked warrior Rembrandt thus wanted to ridicule the customers of the painting, from writing which, with all his desire, he could not refuse.

Fuel is added to the fire by the girl standing in the background, on whose belt a dead rooster hangs, gently hinting at the unconventional orientation of the musketeers. a glove. The X-ray pattern of the painting also showed that the inguinal region of Reutenburg underwent the greatest number of changes in the course of writing the canvas.

1. Crazy Horse Memorial by Korczak Ziłkowski

Korczak Ziolkowski's sculpture depicts a famous episode in Native American history when a pale-faced man asked an Oglala Lakota Redskin warrior named Crazy Horse, "And where are your lands now?" to which Crazy Horse pointed into the distance and answered the conqueror: "My lands are where my grave is."

In different cultures, hand gestures have different meanings, for example, what in Russia means a friendly greeting, among African tribes can be regarded as a challenge to a mortal battle.

Korczak Ziłkowski, in this case, portrayed the Crazy Horse with outstretched hand and forward index finger, which among the Indians is a rude, full of aggression, hatred and contempt gesture, the mildest analogue of which is the middle finger of the hand held up, accompanied by the phrase beloved all over the world " FUCK YOU".

Thus, this gesture gives a completely different meaning to the phrase Crazy Horse, which all the natives of America quote only as: "My land is where your graves are."