What causes emotional immaturity? Emotional maturity as an achievement Emotional immaturity of an adult causes

One of the consequences of growing up in a dysfunctional family is emotional immaturity. Emotionally immature people are insecure individuals who need “crutches” to feel confident. They cannot survive life's troubles and the most ordinary problems. As a solution emotionally immature people prefer to "hide in a house", run away from responsibility. The role of "crutches" is played by alcohol, drugs, casinos, promiscuity, sectarian teachings, etc.

Signs of an emotionally immature person

Unwillingness to take responsibility

Unwilling to put up with reality, emotionally immature people try to control everything around them. At the first stage of using drugs or alcohol, they are under the illusion that they succeed. Mind-altering substances make you feel more confident and powerful than you really are. Such people always need "instructions" for life. Many escape personal responsibility by escaping into cults or rigid religious teachings. They are like little children who cannot imagine their existence without outside guidance.

Inability to express one's own feelings

Another problem faced by emotionally immature individuals is the inability to express their feelings. They do not imagine that it is possible to openly declare both their strengths and weaknesses. All these people have no idea why to live through feelings, so they push resentment, anger and any other negative into themselves. Due to low self-esteem, they constantly need to assert themselves., to show their own significance due to external manifestations. They “suppress” the feeling of their own inferiority with substances that change consciousness.

Going to extremes in all areas of life

Another sign of emotionally immature people is extremes. If we are talking about love - then to the point of obsession, if work - then workaholism, if religion - then blind fanaticism and extremism. Everything that appears in the life of an emotionally immature person turns into a means of escaping reality. Reason - an inner void that urgently needs to be filled with something from the outside. Alone with themselves, with their feelings, it is unbearable for such people to be. This is the main reason why relapses occur so often after undergoing drug addiction treatment in specialized centers.

Failure to plan

People with emotional immaturity do not know how to make plans. Rather, they tend to dream while doing nothing. They blame others and circumstances for all their failures (he contacted the wrong people, was born in the wrong country, unsuccessfully married, etc.). They do not even allow the thought that the problem is not in the external environment, but in themselves.. And all these “ifs” are just an excuse to indulge in dreams that are not destined to come true with inaction. This gives rise to an even greater sense of inferiority, and again pushes for a change in consciousness.

Emotional immaturity is a problem faced by thousands of adults. Drugs, alcohol and other mind-altering drugs play the role of a kind of painkiller. But over time, this stops working. The solution is to visit a psychotherapist and work through childhood trauma. However, not everyone is able to take this step. Many remain emotionally immature. Drug addicts and alcoholics die of addiction without ever making an attempt to change their lives. People with non-chemical addiction continue to live in constant fear without even realizing it...

Emotional immaturity has no age limit. If you're living with someone who is emotionally immature, don't dream or hope that the person will eventually outgrow it, because it can take forever.

Most people think maturity is age. In fact, the true indicator is how a person lies about their emotional stability. Immaturity in this case is when you have the emotions of a child or the absence of them as such at all. If you think you can change such a person, think again.

Emotional immaturity is not a habit that needs and can be broken. It is the inability to grow up and see any perspective. While it's all the result of many different things, such as modeling, an individual's personality, and sometimes trauma or negligence in their past, everyone grows at their own pace, and some people just never mature. Here are seven signs your partner is emotionally immature.

He never takes responsibility for everything he does

Emotionally immature people do not hold themselves accountable for everything they do or everything that happens in their lives. Everything that goes wrong is due to someone else. All that they do not have is the fault of those who deprived them of it.

They just don't see how their actions are causing something bad in their lives. All their failures are the result of someone else's actions, not their own. Such individuals believe that others are deliberately trying to keep them in place and hide from them what they want.

They lack empathy

Emotionally immature people are not able to put themselves in the place of another person. This does not mean that they simply cannot sympathize with people, it means that they do not feel sorry for poor people in other countries at all. They use different stereotypes to characterize people who live in poor conditions and they tend to feel no obligation to anyone. They don't care how a person feels, bad or good. They don't care about anyone but themselves.

They overwhelm people and thus feel strong and powerful

An emotionally immature person is usually not very self-confident. He feels strong and powerful when he suppresses other people's feelings.

The more they hurt someone, the better they feel. Such people use intimidation, name-calling, and any other bad behavior they are capable of to win an argument or put someone in a more humiliating position. This makes them feel superior to everyone.

They refuse to listen to anyone's opinion

Emotionally immature individuals do not want to hear what other people think or say. Do not try to convince them that they are wrong or that their opinion may be completely wrong. They will never yield to anyone, they will not even listen.

Talking seriously with someone who is still quite emotionally immature and incapable of listening to another point of view is completely pointless. Talking and proving something to such people is the same as banging your head against a wall.

They always get what they want and act like little kids

If you do not agree with an emotionally immature person, he starts to tantrum. He will not fall to the floor, cry and scream like a small child, but the result is almost the same.

When you don't go along with them, all you have to do is watch a terrible tantrum. What they want is what they get. If such people do not get this, they begin to hysteria, and you have no other choice but to give up in order to quickly stop this hysteria.

They never compromise

When in a relationship with an emotionally immature partner, you never get what you want. You always give up and follow their lead. They never compromise.

This means that if they don't get exactly what they want, they will stop at nothing. Compromise is something that even children learn. An emotionally immature partner is a person who continues to win, he is not willing to give up. He does not recognize losses or defeats. So be prepared to sacrifice and give up.

They don't care about your feelings if they get in their way.

Emotionally immature people don't care about how you feel or what you want. You are just a tool through which they get whatever they want. Such a person manipulates you in any way, because the only person that exists in their head is only their own. They don't care what your problems are, why you're upset or crying.

In fact, your emotions and conversations with them only annoy and anger them. They are not at all interested in how you think and what you want, so stop thinking that your couple simply lacks communication. You communicate very well. They refuse to listen because they don't care.

Emotional immaturity in adults who haven't yet realized that the world doesn't revolve around them doesn't mean it's just a matter of time and waiting for the big kid to grow up. Think again whether it is worth continuing such a relationship.

Not all people grow up. This is not a prerequisite. As long as you feed them and don't force them to change their immature ways of surviving, they will use your kindness to their advantage to get what they want.

The next time your significant other gets hysterical and waits for you to give her what she wants while acting like a two year old, treat that person like a child, ignore them. Rewarding bad behavior at any age only perpetuates it. Nip Emotional Immaturity in the Root!

Infantilism is a personality characteristic that expresses the immaturity of its psychological development, the preservation of features inherent in earlier age stages. The infantilism of a person in the everyday sense is called childishness, which is manifested in the immaturity of behavior, the inability to make informed decisions, and the unwillingness to take responsibility.

In psychology, infantilism is understood as the immaturity of an individual, which is expressed in a delay in the formation of a personality when its actions do not meet age requirements. Some people perceive the infantilism of behavior as a matter of course. The life of a modern person is quite fast-paced, it is this way of life that pushes a person to such behavior, stopping the growing up and development of the personality, while preserving a small and unintelligent child inside an adult. The cult of eternal youth and youth, the presence of a wide variety of entertainments of modern culture, this is what provokes the development of infantility in a person, relegating the development of an adult personality to the background and allowing him to remain an eternal child.

A woman with an infantile character is able to portray resentment when she is actually experiencing. Among other tricks, such feminists are armed with sadness, tears, feelings of guilt and fear. Such a woman is able to pretend to be confused when she does not know what she wants. Best of all, she manages to make a man believe that without him she is nobody and that she will disappear without his support. She will never say what she does not like, she will pout or cry and act up, but it is very difficult to bring her into a serious conversation.

The true infantilism of a woman leads her life into sheer chaos. She always gets into some kind of stories, extreme situations, from where she needs to be rescued. She has many friends, her appearance is far from the image of a lady, she is attracted to jeans, sneakers, various T-shirts with children's or cartoon prints. She is cheerful, energetic and fickle, her social circle mostly consisting of people much younger than her age.

Men love adventure because it causes an adrenaline rush, so they find themselves an infantile woman with whom they never get bored.

According to the results of one study, it turned out that 34% of women behave infantile when they are next to their man, 66% say that these women live in the image of a frivolous girl all the time.

The reasons for a woman's infantilism are that she acts in this way, because it is easier for her to achieve something from a man, she does not want to be responsible for her personal life or dreams that someone will take custody of her, this someone, of course, a mature and wealthy man.

How to get rid of infantilism

Infantilism is a persistent personality characteristic in psychology, therefore it is impossible to get rid of it quickly. To transcend to the solution of the question: how to deal with infantilism, you need to understand that for this there is a lot of work to be done. In the fight against infantilism, you need to be very patient, because you have to go through tears, resentment and anger.

So, how to get rid of infantilism. The most effective way is considered to be the occurrence of big changes in life, during which a person must find himself in such situations and conditions where he will find himself without support and he alone will have to quickly solve problems, and then be responsible for the decisions made.

Thus, many people get rid of infantilism. For men, such conditions can be - the army, special forces, prison. Women are more suited to moving to a foreign country where there are absolutely no acquaintances, and they have to survive without relatives and make new friends.

After experiencing strong stressful situations, a person loses his infantilism, for example, having lost material well-being, having experienced the dismissal or death of a very close person who served as support and support.

For women, the best way to deal with infantilism is the birth of a child and the responsibility that comes with it.

Too radical methods are unlikely to suit every person, and the following may happen: due to sudden changes in life, a person may close in on himself or, having failed to cope with his duties, will begin to regress even more (regression is a protective mechanism of the psyche that returns a person to lower stage of development of his feelings and behavior).

It is better to use more accessible situations, for example, cook dinner yourself, then clean up, do an unscheduled major cleaning, go shopping and buy only what you need, go and pay bills, move out from your parents or stop living at their expense. There are a lot of such situations in life, they sometimes seem insignificant, but one who knows what infantilism of character is understands how infantile personalities behave in such cases, how burdensome these situations are for them.

Another year of your life has passed, and you are still the same as you were. You don't make much of a distinction between yourself today and yourself in the past. You do not like to take on yourself, you do not know how to quickly adapt to the changing world. You often have problems in the everyday sense, although you have been living alone for a long time, and maybe even started a family. Your attitude to the news from the world of politics and economics is so naive that it is no laughing matter. You find it difficult to determine what is important and what is not. When all this is mixed into a big ball, it will naturally pull you back. And you think: “What is wrong with me? Haven't I grown up?" The following conclusion can serve as the answer: you are infantile, and it is time to get rid of it.

1. Reasons

Infantilism does not squeeze your throat until problems in life begin. And when they begin, usually people are in a period of reassessment of values ​​​​and their lives. And there can be many frustrations and failures along the way. The very nature of infantilism is purely psychological. And you can deal with it if you want. But for some dudes, the psyche is in such an advanced stage that they do not fully understand the gravity of the situation. Usually the standard set of problems of an infantile dude is the inability to bring things to an end, fear of a serious relationship, fear of change, unwillingness to fulfill obligations and promises.

The first thing I would like to advise is: do not go deep into your consciousness. It is not such a big problem to look for childhood traumas and arrange a brain drain for yourself. The reasons can be completely different, ranging from too easy and carefree childhood, ending with fatherlessness. Also important is the teenage crisis, which almost everyone had at the age of 13-15 - it is to him that we owe the formation of a strong personality. However, if you are still interested in this matter, read the book of the famous psychotherapist Graham Geof "How to become a parent to yourself." This author has written a bunch of psychology bestsellers that can help dudes with cockroaches in their heads. On top of that, he talks perfectly about the ways of solving problems that are associated with childhood and adolescence.

2. Make decisions

But we digress. The most important advice is to make decisions. It is difficult for infantile people to do this. Usually they shift important matters to the shoulders of loved ones, and they do the same with matters that are not so important. It comes to the point of absurdity: a person completely leaves the right to choose food for dinner, choose a movie for the evening, choose the path of a walk in the morning to another. So, perhaps, the transformation of a normal man into a henpecked man begins. And it's his own fault.

So just get started. Yes, global decisions about your own life are hard. When you start thinking about your problems, you automatically turn on the TV or go into a video game. You don't want to think about them. So start small. Make simple decisions that relate to what you are sure of. Gradually expand your comfort zone, but do not stand still - there must be movement.

3. Make plans

Start setting achievable goals for yourself, the fulfillment of which can give you confidence in the correctness of your actions. When things start to work out for you, it will become comical to shake from every obligation that you have imposed on yourself.

In general, unwillingness for the future is a very common feature of infantile people. They think that making plans is boring and taking responsibility for others is wrong. And many dudes of this kind are quite employed and talented, but there are also those who simply close in their little world, afraid to go outside.

4. Stand up for your opinion

Infantile people are the most favorite food for the employer. They are easy to work with, because they will never argue with the boss. Usually "errand boys" are almost all childish. But they do not get promotions, access to the career ladder is closed to them. Such people sit in their places for decades - they are just a durable mechanism that does nothing outstanding. And he doesn’t do it, not because he can’t, but because he doesn’t know how to defend his opinion.

Especially at the present time, a great motivator to hold your tongue. But still, in some situations, you must defend the correctness of your decisions. Treat yourself better. You're a specialist, you've been hired, and you know what you're doing. The company will benefit if you do a good job, not mediocre. But many managers just love mediocre workers, because you need to contact them less, conflict less, and therefore work less.

We are now in a crisis, because, on the one hand, everyone understands that without independent, enterprising people who are ready to take on something, we will not get out of this crisis, we will perish as a country, as a civilization. On the other hand, bosses do not like such independent people.

It’s easier with infantile ones - he clicked and that’s it.
Natalia Tolstykh, psychologist

They say that only idiots argue. And this is true if the subject of the dispute is a thing or phenomenon that does not affect your life. When it comes to work or personal relationships, then you need to firmly stand on your opinion, if you are convinced that it is not wrong.