Statuses about the ended vacation are cool new ones. Vacation status: what to write in your profile before, during and after your vacation

Whatever time of the year it is outside the window, you want to think about rest forever. And in order to bring this sweet time closer, set cool vacation statuses.

How about without a trip to the country?

Collected things for the resort. I remembered last year and collected half as much. Then he thought more, and deposited twice as much money.
People who never rest still go on vacation when the head itself begins to rest ...
If the resort does not shine for you, then rejoice at least that the sun shines for you.
Too much work is when you go on vacation, and you are already afraid that it will someday end.
Life hack: if you don't have money for souvenirs, walk around the hotel. There's definitely something in there that isn't nailed to the floor.
The best thing about a vacation is that during this time you can forget the nasty sound of an alarm clock.
I went into courage: I don’t get up from the couch for 20 hours in a row.
A good vacation is one you never tell your kids about. But happy to share with colleagues.

Plan your vacation in advance

Every person in life should have at least a little time when he can rest from the previous day. And also - put cool new statuses about vacation.

And that's how it always is - you dream of the Canary Islands, going to Turkey.
The first vacation in life and the first sex in life are similar to one thing - you wait a long time, and you don’t know where to start and how to continue.
If you decide to take something from the hotel, but your conscience began to torment you, remember how much money you laid out initially.
Everyone forgets about failures in different ways. I pack my suitcase and go where my eyes are stroking.
If your rest is over, do not be sad, but wait until the boss's rest comes.
The largest number of drinkers is probably in Russia. But only in winter. In the summer, this baton is transferred to Turkey and Egypt.
Legend has it that every untanned worker in August longs for a vacation.
Keepers also have holidays. And usually it is without containing.

Having a vacation is a sign of work

Cool statuses about “vacation has begun” will make you think, are you spending your vacation right? Perhaps you are not resting enough even at this time.

“Urgently need to go on vacation” is the most pleasant diagnosis that I have ever heard.
On the Seventh day, God, as you know, created a day off. Someone lives in this Seventh day, and someone - in the previous six.
And the Goldfish asked the old man to let her go. The old man was not a fool, and he also asked for a vacation.
Dismissal at work without a vacation is both bad and very good at the same time.
What a pity that you have to change free unemployment for a couple of days off and a miserable vacation.
If you think about it, the cat that they take with them to the sea is leaving on a business trip.
In my opinion, a law should be enacted that prohibits a boss from calling a subordinate during his well-deserved rest.
When you go to work on the weekend, you should not hope that you will be given more vacation time.

The last days of work are the easiest

Do not be afraid that the rest will go somehow wrong. The main thing is that it exists, and you have finally come close to it. And if not, then cool new short vacation statuses are in a hurry to help you.

You get sick - you get better. The main thing is not to get sick on vacation.
I'm going on vacation up north. To remember that I live well.
I wake up on vacation to watch others go to work.
Status: everyone envy. Haven't been online for a month.
Monday is not always scary.
Backpack on my shoulders, I'll be leaving soon.
Vacation makes a monkey out of a man.
Happiness is when the birthday is on vacation.
We spread the bed for a whole month.
I will definitely go somewhere, but first sleep, for three days.

Work can wait

Don't rely on someone to plan a great vacation for you. It is better to rely on yourself - so reliable. So that you don’t have to post funny vacation statuses.

If you can’t go to the resort, at least open the window - maybe at least you will get a tan.
With our salaries, it is sometimes difficult to even buy a mattress. In this case, the beds in the house must all be inflatable. And slept, and took a vacation.
Something in life went wrong - this is when on the very first vacation at work after university you go to learn to swim.
A good salary is when you can afford to go not only to Egypt, but also to the Crimea.
It would be nice if everyone who urinates in the sea was instantly eaten by sharks.
On the beach, free guys crowd, first of all, around young ladies of the same behavior.
Malta, Canaries, Maldives... And I'll die in the garden.
I directly feel how light waves cover with the head ... someone else.

Smells of summer

Cool vacation statuses will make everyone jealous, even if you weren't there!

Patriotism is living in Russia and relaxing abroad.
Every vacation is a small truce with yourself.
I go on vacation so little that if I go, no one forgets!
At the end of the vacation, you need to set aside a couple of days to take a break from it.
The most unpleasant thing on vacation is the always wet swimsuit.
Maybe we asked for a day off. How about the weather?
A good vacation is when you are not online.

Rest well and, most importantly, regularly.

It has been noticed that vacation statuses are more of interest to those who really want to go on vacation, but are not going yet. And if earlier summer and vacation were almost synonymous, now the sea, the sun and white sand are just a vacation, and summer on the globe can be found at any time of the year.

I have collected vacation statuses for those who are currently lacking positive - read, recharge your batteries and share with friends. If you really want something, then it will definitely happen. And the long-awaited vacation will definitely come.

And then, after the vacation, the time will come when it will be possible to remember the past with a slight sadness and great hope and hope for the future.
And what could be more beautiful than the status - I'm on vacation. Copy statuses for your social networks and have a happy vacation.

Vacation statuses

Creative work turned the monkey into a man, but the vacation shows how easily a person returns to his original state.

What you do at work is up to your boss to decide, but you will have to plan your vacation yourself.

Plunging into work after a vacation sounds very optimistic. I think it's more correct to say get in the way or get dunked into work.

A vacation is when every next day you can relax from the previous one.

A dolphin stole me and we swam away to the island. In short, I'm on vacation.

What is the difference between sun and vacation? The sun shines and warms. Vacation - does not shine, and therefore does not heat.

Lying on the beach in the Canary Islands, you believe the poet - Winter the peasant triumphs. And I, too, celebrate.

If you wake up with the thought that life has improved, it means that the vacation will end soon.

A long-awaited vacation is like a long-awaited sex - you wait for it, you wait, and then bam - what to do next?

Holidays end faster than vacations.

Everything that you can put in a suitcase in a hotel is all included in the price of the tour.

As soon as a lady appears on the beach, about whom you might think that she is of dubious behavior, all the doubters immediately pull up to her.

The best antidepressant is a suitcase packed for vacation.

Blessed are those who believe. But truly blessed is he who lies on the seashore and is in no hurry.

Each subordinate has two vacations: one - his own, and the second - the boss. And the second one may not be worse than the first one.

No matter how long the vacation is, you still understand at the end of the first working day that you didn’t rest enough.

According to the study, the most drinking countries are Russia in winter, and Egypt, Turkey, and Thailand in summer.

What does vacation smell like? Sea, orange gel, ice tequila and longing.

The manager should know that white (non-tanned) employees are those who dream of a vacation, and tanned ones are those who yearn for it.

Stability is when during a vacation a person changes a work computer to a home one.

... and every kept woman is waiting for the time when it will be possible to go on vacation without a keeper.

Vacation status is a swan song about the long-awaited seashore.

All good things come to an end - you understand the fatal gravity of this saying especially sharply on the last day of your vacation.

The best way to relax is to get away from the people in the city to the jellyfish in the sea.

My husband took me on vacation to Mongolia. Tell me, how to get a divorce after a vacation in Mongolia?

Summer smells like vacation for those who were on vacation. For everyone else, summer smells of envy and longing.

Eternity is the last two working hours before the holidays.

17 moments of summer is a summer vacation.

I've come close to greatness! Pushkin had a Boldino autumn, and I turned my vacation into a Boldinsky autumn. And I want more.

Humans are descended from birds, not monkeys. How else to explain the fact that with the onset of autumn, brains fly away to warm countries and return only with the onset of summer heat to figure out how to go on vacation.

Vacation is not just 28 calendar days. This is the fifth time of the year.

A strange pattern - the most delicious food, the warmest sea, the most beautiful girls - all this appears on the last day of vacation.

I did not go on vacation, but in the summer. As such, I'll be back...

As always, the dream of a vacation turned out to be better than the vacation itself.

Both tanned and blue ones are all lucky ones who have already rested.

If it weren’t for vacation statuses, then you wouldn’t know how many unworthy people are on social networks.

Girls go to the sea for their husbands, and for husbands, vacation is the time to search for girls.

The holiday novel differs from the love novel in that there will be no continuation in 28 volumes.

Money work is the threshold of a good vacation.

Going on vacation with your wife is a decision to move the fighting to another territory.

On vacation, the brain rests, the body rests, and only the liver works.

I saw a great flood: 40 days and 40 nights it rained. It's not a nightmare - it was such a vacation.

I was tired, but became exhausted - this vacation was a success.

If you do not take your soulmate on vacation, then there will be twice as much vacation.

Someone is resting on vacation relaxing, and someone is watching how others are resting.

The mother-in-law decided that the best vacation is renovation.

Force of habit: and on vacation I thought, "I'd rather have lunch."

There is one wise book, looking into which you will find out where you will rest. The book is called "cheque".

Take me away from here on vacation.

One two Three! Well, it has begun… Vacation.

A vacation is when you open the refrigerator in the morning, you see a cold beer and you think: “Oooh vacation.”

A person going on vacation can be seen from his gait: he walks sideways - his vile smile does not fit in any door.

Add your favorite vacation statuses in the comments.

Vacation is the most anticipated time of the year. Who has not dreamed of spending a vacation on a hot beach, lying on a sun lounger and drinking an airy cocktail, admiring beautiful tanned bodies and enjoying the long-awaited freedom? Came to the hotel, and there all inclusive. Comp. good, fast internet, ICQ, skype, toys. Isn't this a dream? And the view from the window - the sun, the sea, the sandy beach, the subtle smell of the sea wind and the feeling of a kiss from a beloved man. Simply super!

What a vacation - such a status!

As practice shows, the status of "on vacation" can change the personal inner world in one moment, today you are on vacation, and tomorrow you are no longer alone, or vice versa. But this can only mean one thing: you are waiting for a change in your personal life. Vacation is such a special time of the year, which can be determined by the feeling of incessant happiness, but you need to be able to enjoy every vacation day that falls, regardless of marital status. Have a loved one? Wonderful! Enjoy each other. No partner? Wonderful! There is an opportunity to devote time to yourself, you have the right to flirt. And yet, another advantage of the summer saga is that you don’t have to worry about what day of the week it is, what date it is at the moment; you may not even know your name, temporary amnesia, so to speak.

You can call your friends at three in the morning and ask: “Are you asleep?”. And they happily “Come in!” to you. You can just travel well in a beautiful car with your loved one along the sea, stop in unfamiliar places, and everywhere there is sun, fun and laughter. And you don’t have to think about the end of summer, which is much worse than the end of the world.

For many people, their favorite time of the year is vacation. This section contains the funniest vacation jokes. short and long for different tastes, which will cheer you up in anticipation of a long-awaited vacation:

For the first time I am not upset that tomorrow is Monday, vacation is a cool thing!

You can relax inexpensively only on your own sofa!

One day I will go out for bread and accidentally leave this country ...

Turkey shouted - come to sunbathe! Paris shouted - come to be photographed at the tower! Egypt reminded of the pyramids! And the purse said: take a beer with seeds and go to the dacha ... a fucking dreamer!

Dear alarm clock, please don't call me again. It's over between us. I'm leaving ... On vacation! Hooray!

When awakening is more and more like resuscitation, it's time to go on vacation.

Vacation is the fifth season of the year, which can only be defined by the feeling of everlasting happiness!

Family vacation - the continuation of the war between spouses in another territory

Someone comes from vacation tanned, and someone is blue.

I want to look at the person who called the decree a vacation!

An experienced man flirts on the beach with the palest-skinned girl - after all, she has her whole vacation ahead of her.

Gone on vacation! Envy!

In summer, the competence of workers is of two types:
1) I don't know, I'm going on vacation tomorrow.
2) I don’t know, I just got back from vacation.

Labor made a man out of a monkey ... Vacation returned everything to its place!

Judging by the size of the first-aid kit with medicines that we take with us on a trip, we are not going to rest, but to die.

Sea. Vacation. The wife says to her husband: - “Darling, look how the waves kiss me!” - "Yeah! And they puke on the shore!

Chief, remember! White (not tanned) color indicates employees who still want to go on vacation!

Uncle bosses, if you want to see beautiful girls during the beach season, let them go on vacation!

Only a Russian person, after a sick leave, can go to work tanned and with a hangover!

I need a dose of the sea.

No matter how much you rest, from the first day of work you want to go on vacation again!

My brains are sending me telegrams asking me to go on vacation!

The first working days after the holidays - you urgently need to remember how to do nothing if things are fucked up ...

The strength of the tan is determined by the whiteness of the priests relative to other parts of the body.

I want summer, the sea, the beach, a bottle of martini... and a sign that says "Do Not Disturb!"

For our tourists in the hotel, what is not nailed to the floor is a souvenir ...

Take care of your homeland - relax abroad.

I want to go to Hawaii! Everything's there! Sand for the kids, sun for me, sharks for my husband...

A vacation is when you do not work eight hours a day, and it does not apply to the remaining sixteen hours a day.

I desperately need rest. I can only complete the annual volume of work in nine months, but not in twelve!

You can't spend a vacation, it always fucking ends on time.

The sun shines - but does not warm, vacation warms - but does not shine ...

Husband and wife are going on vacation: - Dear, dear! What would I take with me so that everyone on the beach would look at me?! - Take your skis with you!

Anywhere is the most popular place to stay…

The sea, girls and the beach is my best landscape!

On the first day of my vacation, I will specially get up early to see how you go to work.

As soon as you start to feel like a free person, how are you - there is still a vacation, but there is no money anymore

The best thing about any vacation is not so much relaxing yourself as watching others work.

A bad day on vacation is better than a good day at the office.

From vacation, as well as from hard drinking, it is necessary to come out gradually ....

Champagne, sea, men… Oh, what am I talking about? Work work work…

My soul has gone to the sea, but my body has not yet.

The only downside of a holiday abroad is that I can't afford it.

Work, work go to Fedot: washing on Irinka, ironing on Anka, cooking on Vovka, And I have a ticket to the sea!

My beloved, dear Job! Isn't it time for you to finally take a break from me?!

Barefoot would be on the sand, and not in high heels to work

I want to go to the sea this summer... I have a tradition that every summer I want to go to the sea.

Life just got better, suddenly bam! vacation is over.

Vacation is when you find a bottle of martini in the fridge in the morning and think: “Why not!”

Subordinates have two vacations, the first is their own, the second is the boss's vacation !!!

A vacation is two weeks on the beach and then another six weeks on the rocks.

Vacation continues!!! We go where everything is included - to the parents!

We have to take a break so as not to take a break.

Eternity is the time from the beginning of the working day to its end. A moment is 23 calendar days of vacation.

It happens that one person goes on vacation, and the whole team rests ...)))

I am madly in love with summer ... But only vacation can be better than summer, and - at any time of the year, and even better - at any time of summer.

How to relax with the whole team on one ticket? To chip in to everyone and buy a ticket to the boss.

Rest is a state of peace between nature and man. Work is an imbalance.
When you start to look like your passport photo, this is a clear sign that it's time to go on vacation.

Hanging a note on your office door “I'll be there in 5 minutes” will help you go on vacation three days earlier.

I'm finally on vacation! Sea! Seagulls! Dolphins are near! What beautiful linens I have.
Hi, how are you? Yes, I returned from vacation yesterday. - You're lucky... - You're wrong! Lucky…

Returned from vacation. I don’t remember everything, but I remember that my wife called her son from the water and me from the bar with one phrase: “Come out, you are already BLUE!”

A woman, returning from vacation, complains to her friend: - "It was raining all the time." - "And yet you tanned." - "This is not a tan, but rust!"

“It’s time for you to go on vacation” is also a kind of diagnosis. And in the fall, everyone runs to complain to psychotherapists that their vacation is gone.

Sick leave - leave on prescription.

Life is also a vacation. Only from that world.

It would be nice to take a vacation, that way, for a hundred days. You can quit ... but not the same ...

In the window of a cafe in a French city, which is very often visited by tourists, there is an announcement: They understand even the French that you learned at school.

In any resort town, the most decent people gather in line at the beach toilet.

Where are we going to rest? - Well, judging by the money ... we are not tired at all!

Summer… Sun… Watering can… Beds…
House… Renovation… Stove… Rolling…
Evening… Bunk… Shower… Chattering…
Was there a vacation - you will understand the hell!

The vacation was a success, but the vacation leaves much to be desired.

There are two troubles at the resorts of the Krasnodar Territory: fools and expensive.

On vacation, it’s always like this: “Last year was better.”

What ends even faster than a vacation?
- "Vacation!"

Relax, enjoy an amazing time called vacation! After all, people who have a rest have good health, more vitality, a strong nervous system and are more cheerful! This page contains holiday jokes.

Vacation - how much tenderness and love we put in when we say this word. These wonderful few days help us to escape from problems, go on vacation, see relatives and friends whom we have not seen for a long time. In general, this is the time that you can devote to absolutely everything, but not work. We look forward to the holidays more than our own birthday. For such people, we have developed a special website that contains a large number of interesting statutes dedicated to their favorite vacation. Treat yourself by posting such a status on your page on a social network. Cheer up your friends by sending them a status message that says vacation is just around the corner. It remains to wait quite a bit.

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The husband leaves for the resort alone, without his wife. A week later, he sends her an SMS: "I still love only you!" Wife: "Yes, and you're still the best."

Cool vacation status: The strength of a tan is determined by the whiteness of the ass relative to other parts of the body.

Only a man should always make shish kebabs, because only a man knows how to properly plant and fry well!

Bought an inflatable bed. The instructions in a dozen languages say: "Do not use when swimming!!!". And only in Russian: "When swimming, hold on to the side straps"

Having gone to barbecues with strangers, Sveta only later realized why she did not chip in.

One guy asks his friend how to teach a girl to swim. - Nuu, this is a whole science: with one hand you hug your waist, you put the other under your chest. - Fool, I'm talking about my sister! - So I would immediately say - give her a kick from the bridge.

It is difficult to stop in time when you selflessly and recklessly lie on the couch ...

There was no money, he went on vacation to Turkey, Switzerland, the money appeared, he went to rest in the Crimea.

There are two photographs in my international passport ... On one I am sober, and the second - so that they will be released from Turkey and Egypt ...

Cool holiday status: Sharks punish those who urinate in the sea!

"Good morning!" - This is when it's 11:00 on the clock, it's summer on the calendar, and outside the window is the Mediterranean Sea ...

As soon as a girl of dubious behavior appeared on the beach, a crowd of doubters immediately formed near her.

I want summer, the sea, the beach, a bottle of martini... and a sign that says "Do Not Disturb!"

My girlfriend keeps talking about going to the Canary Islands. Yes, I do not mind ... Let him speak.

The most popular first phrase in any trip: "Do you know what we forgot ?!"

The sea is calling... The wave is singing... And I'm like this in the garden...

You need to live in such a way that others have depression.

Take care of your homeland - relax abroad.

Cool vacation status: The best vacation is a change of position!

For our tourists in the hotel, what is not nailed to the floor is a souvenir...

They appeared again - these fashionable men ... in "flip flops" and socks.

I work in a travel agency. Tourists just sent a text message: “Thank you! we are so cool in Turkey! ”... Write to them that they are in Egypt ... or not?

The first working days after the holidays - you urgently need to remember how to do nothing if things are fucked up ...

If the weather was good all the time during your vacation, then this was not your vacation.

Do you know how one team can relax for one ticket? Skin and buy it for the boss!

The last working week before the holidays, as luck would have it, stretches for ages!

I want to go to Hawaii!!! Everything's there! Sand for the kids, sun for me, sharks for my husband...

Every person who is burned in the sun must have a friend who will slap on the back and ask - how did you rest ?!

Planning a vacation is very easy: your boss tells you when, your wife tells you where.

The easiest way to wave to the sea is with your hand ...

Holidays, be like an internet explorer: slow and clunky. And we will constantly restart you.

You need to travel in such a way that you will be remembered in a new country and not forgotten in your own! And while not wanted in both!

I want to go to the sea this summer ... I have such a tradition, every summer I want to go to the sea))

The most beautiful girls appear on the beach on the last day of vacation.

The sun shines - but does not warm, vacation warms - but does not shine ...

Nothing is more pleasing to the eye than a packed suitcase for vacation...