Transition of external conflict into internal. A more loving approach. What is the "lesser of two evils"

Total depression and regular, never-ending depression and lack of desire for self-development are symptoms characteristic of people with self-doubt. Turning to a psychologist with similar problems, a professional will not be surprised and will offer various options for ways out of the situation. Less often, patients who cannot understand their own thoughts are on the specialist's couch. People who do not realize the extent of the disagreements that have arisen run the risk of becoming regulars in psychiatric hospitals.

The internal conflict of a personality is a complex of contradictions that arise in a person at a subconscious level. Such a state is perceived as an insoluble emotional problem. Some people cannot cope with oppressive circumstances on their own, succumbing to depression. and the lack of rational thinking are other symptoms of a person having an intrapersonal conflict, the severe form of which leads to neurotic diseases. If you do not find a disagreement in time, then you can say goodbye to forever. What to do in this situation? What techniques will help? How to understand your own thoughts?

Classification and extent of intrapersonal conflicts

Once in a similar situation, it is important to initially familiarize yourself with the terminology, because a classic session with a psychotherapist can only help in the early stages. People turn for help, as a rule, already with a full-fledged problem, thoroughly "settled" in the patient's subconscious. In the 21st century, two groups of intrapersonal conflicts have been identified, which differ in the prerequisites for the appearance of spiritual disagreements:

The discrepancy between the internal sensations of a person with the foundations and rules of the surrounding world.
Disagreements with society or the presence of irritating factors that negatively affect a “vulnerable” person.

Along with the options for the occurrence of intrapersonal misunderstandings, the scales of disagreements that have appeared in the human subconscious are distinguished:

The initial stage of a neurotic illness, during which a person encounters 1-2 disagreements within his own consciousness. If you do not find answers to the questions that have arisen in time, then you can significantly aggravate the current situation. Misunderstandings develop into depression and a stressful state, which gradually “absorbs” a self-sufficient person.

Apathy for life; long term crisis.

Constant failures in professional activities and lack of career growth, troubles in communicating with friends and discord in the family - there are many reasons for the emergence of such a stage of intrapersonal conflict. In a person susceptible to such a disease, lesions are observed on all "fronts". Due to regular losses, self-esteem of the individual gradually decreases, faith in one's own strength decreases. Over time, the patient stops thinking about positive "things", complaining about the injustice of life.

The patient has a diagnosis of multiple personalities.

A striking example of this phenomenon is the story of Billy Milligan, a convict from the United States of America. The young man who got into the courtroom did not realize what was happening. Different people, differing in voices, habits and dialects, spoke to the jury in the face of a young man. The accused could gracefully express his own thoughts, flirting with the authorities. After a second, his timbre became rough, he lit a cigarette and switched to the prison lexicon.

Numerous studies that were carried out in innovative laboratories of the 20th century confirmed that the young man had a diagnosis of “Multiple Personalities”. Twenty-four full-fledged people simultaneously coexisted in the mind of the guy - young children and adult women, atheists and believers, former prisoners and politicians. This phenomenon is considered the extreme stage of intrapersonal disagreements and misunderstandings.

Causes of intrapersonal misunderstanding

Having become acquainted with the possible options for the development of a mental illness, it is important to correctly diagnose the problem by determining the cause of the occurrence of mental disagreements. In modern society, people often turn to professionals for help for the following reasons:

Applying favorite behavioral strategies in an unfamiliar situation. The method used does not work, and uncertainty settles in the mind of a person. On the one hand, this method has already helped him, but on the other hand, it turned out to be invalid.
Inability to make fundamental and responsible decisions in time that will affect the outcome of events.
The lack of the proper amount of information that helps to "soberly" assess the current situation. At such a moment, a million options appear on the subconscious of the person, which the person begins to sort out.
Systematic "defeat" or dissatisfaction with one's own way of life. The patient does not understand why he is haunted by failures, because he is a talented, educated and interesting person.
Closeness and lack of communication with real people are the most common reasons for the emergence of fictional friends in the subconscious, with whom you can argue and talk.
Childish grievances or self-esteem problems that arise in people who are unsure of their own abilities.
Unbearable obligations that appeared on the "shoulders" of a person. In trying to solve a problem that is beyond the control of the individual, there is invariably a moment of frustration.
Hopelessness is the main reason for a person to make "friends" at a subconscious level. If the patient cannot influence the result, then he tries to project it in his own head, enlisting the support of newly made "comrades".

If from the above reasons you have not found a similar option, then only a practicing psychologist can help in this situation. Only a professional who has already had experience working with people suffering from intrapersonal disagreements can diagnose the prerequisites. Do not think that the absence of your dilemma among the listed reasons is a reason to calm down. Out of idle interest, people will not read this article.

The positive impact of intrapersonal conflict on the future of a person

Despite the danger of a person developing a severe form of a neurotic disease, an intrapersonal conflict is a great opportunity to rethink values ​​by adjusting their own worldview. Practitioners working with such patients identify the following positive changes in the psyche of people who have coped with disagreements:

Forced mobilization of the hidden resources of the individual, with the help of which it is possible to solve the problem that has arisen.
A "sober" look from the outside at the desired and actual, haunting the patient's inner world.
, after all, a person copes with a serious mental disorder by overcoming a number of fears.
The emergence of rational thinking in the patient, which helps him make decisions in controversial and especially difficult situations.
Knowledge of one's own "I", improving the attitude of a person to society.
In the process of finding a solution to the problem, brilliant thoughts appear and effective ways to realize the hidden potential are found.

The main thing is to contact a psychologist in time, who will be able to correctly diagnose the cause of internal disagreements. It is extremely rare for people who are prone to a neurotic disease to solve such a problem on their own. Too many subconscious "interlocutors" are present in the patient's head, directing the true personality along the wrong path.

Effective ways to resolve intrapersonal conflict

If a person who has mental disorders refuses to visit a specialist’s office, then you can try to change the course of events on your own. However, without the help of close relatives, spouse or friends, it will not work. It becomes possible to resolve the dispute that has arisen if you use the useful recommendations of psychologists in time:

The choice of a compromise solution involving the elimination of internal disagreements. Where to go: football or basketball? Feel free to choose volleyball without creating a seed of doubt in your mind.
Change your own attitude towards the object of disputes. What to buy for dinner: sausage or cheese? In this situation, prefer sandwiches with sausage and cheese, taking a small amount of both products from the counter.
Consciously refuse to solve the problem that has arisen, closing your “eyes” to internal contradictions. Leave the choice to fate, which is not characterized by prolonged confusion.
Force unacceptable thoughts out of your mind by refusing to implement them (in this way, William Stanley Milligan was cured).
Adjust your own worldview to achieve the desired result. Adjust to the circumstances, but do not take such a strategy as a rule.

Some psychologists suggest that patients idealize the problem, succumb to fantasies and abandon reality. The illusory world is beautiful, which means you will gain. However, most professionals question the effectiveness of such a technique.
Make it a rule to repeat on a subconscious level during difficult periods of life the following phrase - "There are no hopeless situations."

Learn to make choices on your own, without arguing for a long time about the possible outcomes in the current situation. Guided by the above tips and with the support of loved ones, you can change the usual course of events. The main thing is to really want to get rid of internal disagreements, showing willpower and fortitude.

Awareness of the scope of the conflict is a first step on the road to recovery, and one to be proud of. Identification of the true cause is the second stage, which helps to determine the source of "ignition. Finding a solution and getting rid of internal disagreements is the third step, which is especially difficult to climb. However, at the end of the energy-intensive journey, a pleasant reward awaits you - peace of mind.

An internal conflict always arises gradually and affects a person gradually - this is its danger. Our psychology is such that we do not immediately notice that we are losing harmony. A person perceives his condition as normal and does not think about what is happening to him. It is much easier to suppress internal anxiety than it is to acknowledge problems and treat psychological disorders.

Many people find it shameful to admit that their psychological state is unstable - this is human psychology. They prove their "normality" in every possible way and prefer not to notice the signals that the subconscious sends them. As a result, the internal conflict grows to enormous proportions, and it is quite difficult to cope with it.

The psychology of internal imbalance is such that he carefully guards his "possessions". A person does not want to delve into himself, he puts on "rose-colored glasses" and builds an invisible wall between himself and the outside world. People do not like to admit their own psychological troubles - the more they worry about this, the more territory the conflict “conquers”. Psychology books say that it enslaves and makes a person feel worthless, unnecessary and unable to live happily.

Symptoms of "internal imbalance"

The first sign is when life passes in constant sadness. People get so used to this state that they do not notice the symptoms of their “disease”. They feel like they've always been like this.

If your general emotional background has long been painted in gray, remember how long have you been living like this? Dig into the past and try to find a "starting point". Perhaps you were overtaken by failure or you experienced a strong disappointment, after which you ceased to enjoy life.

Chronic fatigue can also lead to internal contradictions - such is human psychology. If he wants to do something, but his desire remains a desire, this is a sign of psychological distress. The same applies to those cases when he does not bring things to the end. Try to figure out why you're giving up? Perhaps you lack faith in yourself or true desire contradicts false, so you are slowing down?

When a person, for some reason, performs other people's assignments and whims for a long time, he accumulates irritation. He directs his hidden aggression to the world around him. The psychology of a person is such that it is easier for him to consider people stupid and hypocritical than to admit that he himself put on someone else's mask. It is important not to forget that the world reflects your attitude towards it.

Most often, internal imbalance is caused by conflicting aspirations, the inability to prioritize. The two forces that put pressure on a person are equivalent, otherwise he will choose the most powerful one and there will be no conflict.

If internal contradictions are tearing you apart, you must make every effort to find the cause of disharmony and restore peace of mind.

Books on psychology advise you to figure out where the legs "grow" from your contradiction. Ask yourself leading questions and answer honestly. The main task is to figure out what you want, what you feel, what is your psychology. Sometimes what you want is actually not what you need, so the subconscious “rebels”. If a person "gets stuck" in this intermediate state, a conflict arises.

When you have recognized that there are two opposite desires, you need to find the strength in yourself to give up the false belief. The hardest thing is to be responsible for your choice. Even if you make the wrong decision, then get rid of the contradictions that torment you - this is already a lot. Sooner or later, a clash of interests will occur, and its consequences can be extremely destructive for the psyche. When the decision is made by you, and not imposed by others, it will be easier to "reap the rewards."

The psychology is that following the events is much easier than trying to break the "shackles". Therefore, you will need inner strength and courage. People who adapt to everything, do not live their own lives, are mired in self-deception. Internal conflicts must be resolved immediately so that they do not accumulate inside.

What do psychology books say?

Imbalance is a rather complex phenomenon. But books on psychology say that conflicts always accompany a person who improves and develops himself. They motivate to new victories, make you critical of your own thoughts and behavior. The main thing is to respond to them in time and look for solutions, and not to “push” the conflict inward.

When a person is looking for his place in life, he can fall into a kind of vacuum that causes a feeling of insecurity and abandonment. If you do not attach importance to this condition, then it often leads to serious psychological disorders.

Take time regularly to get to know yourself. Human psychology has a peculiarity - in order to look like a full-fledged personality in your own eyes, you need to clearly understand your strengths and weaknesses. Then it will become clear to you which “levers” you need to pull.

Identify and analyze all the mistakes that you made on the way to the goal. It will be easier for you to reach your potential.

Books on psychology assure that many factors are concentrated in a person that hinder his development:

• Lack of self-esteem.
• Unwillingness to make decisions independently.
• Hypocrisy and flattery towards oneself.
• Unwillingness to fight for their place in life.
• Fixation on the familiar and denial of the true.
• Inability to properly define one's own values.

To believe in yourself, often try something new and unusual for you. No need to compare yourself to others and try to impress. Never lie to yourself and don't adapt to circumstances. The psychology is that it will help you understand what you really want and how you see your life.

The psychology is such that when you begin to change yourself and see the first results, your abilities will begin to grow and develop.

In modern psychology, the idea of ​​the inevitability of age-related crises has been fairly firmly established, even the concept of “normative crisis” has appeared, which, in our opinion, is not indisputable, moreover, affirms a certain passive position of practical psychology on this issue. This situation requires more careful consideration and clarification of the concepts of "internal conflict", "crisis in personality development", "neurosis" or "neurotic personality development". One of the most significant periods in personality development is considered to be adolescence, which is considered to be critical, crisis and most difficult at the same time. To put up with the inevitable hardship of adolescence has become the norm. A situation when a teacher, a social pedagogue, and a practical psychologist (each in their own language) respond to the request of parents, teachers, and adolescents themselves about the complexity of their relationship in the following way: “What do you want, this is such an age, be patient a little, and everything is formed, ”is perhaps the most common.

And indeed, many adolescents, having matured, outwardly give the impression of completely adapted people, however, the parents and teachers of these adolescents appear to the eyes of a psychologist who works with adolescents. And here opens a picture of deep internal conflicts of adults themselves, conflicts that originate in childhood and adolescence, but were never resolved in subsequent years and turned into those very “neurotic layers” that make their life difficult, painfully manifesting themselves in their children, students, in relationships with each other. It is no coincidence that the well-known specialist in the field of childhood and adolescent neuroses A.I. Zakharov notes: "Neurosis is a kind of clinical and psychological phenomenon that has been formed over the course of the life of three generations - grandparents, parents and children."

Internal conflicts are a sphere of problems in personality development. By personality we mean a system of human relationships with oneself, with other people and with the surrounding reality as a whole. Until recently, this definition here could sound like “a system of a person’s relations to himself, to other people and to the surrounding reality as a whole”, however, realizing that the attitude of a single person is always the result of an intersubjective relationship, we consider it necessary to introduce the concept of “relationship”, with in order to more accurately define the meaning that we put in the concept of "personality". Personal development, in terms of cultural-historical theory, is a process of interiorization of the content of the "social situation of development", mediated by the individual characteristics of a person. The process of internalization in ontogenesis is the mutually determined activity of subjects in relation to each other, in which it is impossible to draw a “border” or “line” between their activity, in particular between the activity of a child and an adult. The psychological features of each age stage originate in previous ages and affect the development of the individual in subsequent age periods.

Theories of intrapersonal conflicts

Conflict is a psychological state that is caused by a clash or confrontation of different needs, values, interests, drives, attitudes, etc. Such a confrontation occurs both in the field of interpersonal interaction and in the intrapersonal plane. In modern psychological science, the attitude towards conflict has changed significantly, mainly in the fact that conflict relations are perceived as an attribute of a person's mental life, a necessary component of it. The inner world of man is complex and contradictory. The state of internal conflict, when a person simultaneously feels the need to act in different directions, to make a decision about his multidirectional desires, interests, inclinations, beliefs, is more a norm for a person than a consistent, consistent flow of events, thoughts and feelings.

An important feature of modern conflictology is the idea of ​​the developmental function of the conflict, its positive impact on the development of the individual. A person, aimed at a productive, constructive solution of internal conflict states and external situations, necessarily carries out personal growth through the development of self-awareness and self-attitude, decentration, external locus of control, complication of the cognitive, emotional and communicative spheres of the personality.

The tactics of avoiding a conflict situation (consciously or unconsciously), ignoring the conflict due to incompetence will inevitably lead to new conflicts, intensification of crises and, as a result, to the neurotic development of the personality.

The concept of "internal conflict" is closely related to such intrapersonal states as a crisis and neurosis. A psychological crisis develops in conditions of a long internal conflict, when a person is not able to resolve the situation that has arisen: to satisfy a personally necessary need, to change the attitude towards it, to make a choice, to make an adequate decision. The crisis state can proceed in conditions of both conscious and unconscious attitude to the conflict. A crisis intensifies when a person lacks the personal resource to recognize and formulate his own problem or for a long time fails to find an acceptable solution. Neurosis, or a neurotic state, is an unconscious defensive reaction of a person to an ongoing psychological crisis that creates great internal stress. At the same time, a person unconsciously resorts to various defensive reactions, which, albeit in a surrogate way, help relieve tension or avoid conflict. In the future, if there are no qualitative changes - "personal growth", the development of the personality takes on a neurotic character.

Psychoanalytic psychology, which put the study and therapy of internal conflicts of the personality at the forefront, put forward several theoretical approaches in an attempt to answer the question of the causes, driving forces, methods of therapy of internal conflicts and, as a result, neurotic states.

One of the first theories explaining the cause of internal conflicts was proposed by Z. Freud. He believed that at the heart of any internal conflict lies a basal conflict. The basal conflict necessarily arises between the instinctive drives of the "libido", blindly demanding satisfaction, and prohibitions on the part of society and, above all, the family. Z. Freud, being a supporter of the biogenetic theory of personality, considered instincts to be the driving force behind the development of the personality and, because of this, extended the inevitability of the basal conflict and the variety of internal conflicts to all people. If internal conflicts do not find their constructive resolution, then the way out of crisis states is carried out through psychological defensive reactions: repression, regression, rationalization, projection, isolation, etc.

K. Horney, a follower of Freud, emphasized the pessimistic nature of the Freudian concept of internal conflicts and saw the limitations of his theory in that he considered the basal conflict inevitable, and internal conflicts, in principle, not resolvable. From Freud's point of view, the maximum that can be done in terms of resolving conflicts is to achieve a more perfect control over them or, at best, "sublimate" them.

Unlike Z. Freud, K. Horney defined her theory of internal conflicts as constructive, arguing that she is convinced of the potential of a person to change productively throughout life, which serves as the basis for the ability to resolve internal conflicts. In his theory, K. Horney defines intrapersonal conflict as a triune interpersonal relationship of a person, manifested in “movement towards people”, in “movement against people” and “movement away from people”. In an attempt to find the original, more general cause of the internal conflict, its driving force, K. Horney follows the beaten path following Freud, who considered the driving force of the basal conflict to be compulsive (obsessive) drives "libido", instinctive in nature, aimed only at satisfaction and not suffering frustration. In the understanding of K. Horney, "obsessive drives", which appear to be the driving force behind personality development, are the result of an innate feeling of "basal anxiety", and not the energy of "libido". Intrapersonal conflicts, in the view of K. Horney, "are born from feelings of isolation, helplessness, fear and hostility." The ways in which a person tries to cope with the world in spite of these feelings are not primarily aimed at obtaining pleasure, but at achieving security; "their obsessive nature is due to the anxiety behind them."

K. Horney departs from orthodox Freudian psychoanalysis, but only in terms of the root cause. In essence, despite giving great importance to social and cultural factors in the process of personality development, which K. Horney actively emphasizes, her view of human nature remains within the framework of the individualistic, biologizing concept of personality development. The nature of the individual is opposed to a hostile society. Born, a person is doomed to experience anxiety, anxiety, fear, isolation. The driving force behind his development is the fight against despair and anxiety. As a neurotic resolution of internal conflicts, K. Horney identifies strategies for defensive behavior: "moving away from people" - as a state of isolation, "moving against people" - as an aggressive attitude towards reality, and "moving towards people" - as a relation of dependence on them.

K. Jung in his analytical psychology studied the problem of opposite tendencies in people as one of the most essential characteristics of a person. The peculiarity of K. Jung's understanding of conflicting tendencies in a person: masculinity and femininity, extraversion and introversion, mind and feelings, etc. - lies in the fact that the presence of these conflicting tendencies in a person's personality testifies more to the harmonious integrity of a person than to the presence of a conflict . Conversely, significant the predominance of one of the opposites, the one-sided development of the personality indicate internal conflict. K. Jung saw the integrity of the personality not in the absence of opposite qualities or their clash, but in their mutual complement. Opposites do not oppose, but complement each other. Jung considered a person who has undergone a one-sided development of his personality to be an internally conflicting, neurotic personality. His concept of "self", that is, the innate essence of the human personality, is subject to the "law of complementarity" of opposite qualities that make up the essence of "self".

The study of intrapersonal conflicts in the need-motivational sphere of a person in line with psychological theory the field was carried out by K. Levin. The author focuses on the dynamic characteristics of multidirectional need-motivational components of human behavior, which can form various combinations. As a result of his research, K. Levin identified three types of internal conflicts:

1. a conflict of equally attractive but mutually exclusive needs - a conflict that is called the Buridan problem;
2. the conflict of equally unattractive needs, which requires a choice according to the principle of "the least of the evils";
3. a conflict of ambivalent needs that are both attractive to a person and rejected by him, for example, a smoker who passionately wants to smoke and hates himself in this role.

Gestalt psychology in the holistic theory of F. Perls gives an idea of ​​the development and resolution of intrapersonal conflicts from the standpoint of the principle of homeostasis (balance) inherent in the body. The changing external environment disturbs the internal balance of the organism, since the organism and the environment (man and environment) constitute a single, integral field. The changing external environment disturbs the balance of the body and creates a certain tension, which is expressed in need states - in incomplete gestalts. When the need state is satisfied, the gestalt is completed, and the body comes to a state of equilibrium. F. Perls sees the problem of internal conflicts in the difficulties for a person to respond to all the many influences that external circumstances create, in the need at any given moment to single out the dominant need and build all subsequent needs in accordance with their hierarchy of values. In contact with the environment, a person must understand when, how and with whom to interact, when and how to leave contact, after what time to return to interaction, etc. A person who is not capable of distinguishing between his needs and the characteristics of the external environment, becomes confused and is not capable of productive life. F. Perls sees the main reason for the occurrence of difficulties in communicating with the environment in the neurotic states of a person's personality, which develop in the process of its formation and are determined mainly by the nature of parent-child relationships. The distorted development of the personality is primarily manifested in the inability to distinguish or adequately establish the boundary between "I" and "Others". F. Perls identifies four protective mechanisms underlying the neurotic development of personality: introjection, fusion, projection, retroflection.

Theory of cognitive dissonance considers intrapersonal conflicts from the point of view of the cognitive characteristics of the personality. The conflict develops in the conditions of a collision of incompatible ideas, cognitions, affecting personally significant relationships, when a person is required to make a choice that runs counter to his own beliefs and attitudes. An intrapersonal conflict arising as a result of cognitive dissonance can be resolved through a change in a person’s attitude (personal meaning) to a conflict phenomenon, which is considered as “personal growth”; when dissonance is overcome, a comfortable state arises. If personal growth does not occur, then this conflict is overcome by the transformation of other consonances into dissonances, that is, it leads to the development of conflicts in other areas, which can have a destructive effect on the entire personality system and lead to crisis states and the development of neurotic defensive reactions.

AT humanistic theory In the development of the personality of K. Rogers, the internal conflict is presented in the opposition of "I-concepts": real and ideal ideas about oneself. An idealized self-image is made up of a person's value orientations and is of a completely conscious nature. The real “I-concept”, which is formed from early childhood under the influence of the relationship of significant “others”, mainly in parent-child relationships, may not be fully conscious. If, relatively speaking, the “distance” between these two concepts is large enough, then the person will always experience an internal conflict of dissatisfaction with himself, which, in turn, will contribute to its development, in order to approach the ideal “I-concept”. The most successful resolution of the conflict of "I-concepts" is carried out with their mutual movement towards each other, which requires the individual to periodically rethink the relationship between real and ideal ideas about himself. An important condition for the successful development and overcoming of the conflict of "I-concepts" is positive attitude factor. The level of positive self-attitude contributes to the process of realizing and accepting the real Self, with all its weaknesses and imperfections. For without realizing one's problems and taking responsibility for one's own development, constructive resolution of the conflict between the real and ideal "I-concepts" is impossible.

In conditions where the convergence of the ideal and real "I-concepts" is difficult, the person experiences a constant internal conflict, which can lead to a crisis in personality development.

In domestic psychology, the problem of internal personality conflicts is represented mainly by the works of neuropathological psychologists who analyze internal conflict as a potential neurotic state. These are the works of V.N. Myasishchev, V.I. Garbuzova, A.I. Zakharov and others.

V.N. Myasishchev considers personality as a system of human relations to the surrounding reality. Relationships of personality originate in the relationship of people to each other. Interpersonal relationships in their emotional component represent a certain hierarchy of personal significance for a single person. It is the factor of personal significance, according to the author, that is one of the central ones in the formation of intrapersonal conflicts. Considering deep internal experiences that form the basis of intrapersonal conflicts, V.N. Myasishchev emphasizes their substantive difference from understanding deep in the psychoanalytic sense of the term.

The main provisions of his theory of intrapersonal conflicts can be formulated as follows: 1) affective tension resulting from interaction with reality does not in itself lead to a deep internal crisis and a neurotic state; 2) internal conflicts are formed as a result of the inability to realize the needs that are significant for a person; 3) the realization of needs that do not lead to a crisis state should be carried out in personally significant relationships; 4) the resolution of the contradiction between the personality and the aspects of reality that are significant for her should be productive for the personality; 5) an internal conflict and, as a result, a crisis and neurosis are formed as a result of an inadequate resolution of the conflict for the individual; 6) neurosis is a “disease” of the personality, as a violation of the system of human relations, therefore the area of ​​​​the fight against neuroses is the borderline between pedagogy, psychology and medicine.

V.N. Myasishchev identifies several types of internal conflicts.

neurotic conflict arises from the contradiction between the desires, requests of the individual and its ability to realize them, when the efforts of a person do not lead to the desired result. Under these conditions, the personal resource is depleted, which leads to neurotic development.

hysterical conflict is the result of a contradiction between the individual and the reality surrounding him. When reality goes against the subjective requirements of the individual, there is a mismatch between expectation and reality. The internal conflict in this case arises from an unsatisfied desire in a situation where a person can neither subordinate reality to his requirements, nor give up his desires and is forced to correspond to reality.

Obsessive-psychasthenic conflict develops in a situation of contradictory internal relations. A contradiction can arise when a person experiences ambivalent, contradictory feelings towards the same object or phenomenon of reality, which is personally significant for him, and, therefore, a person cannot refuse it. Such internal contradictions can be caused by the struggle between different internal tendencies, if it is necessary to make a choice between equivalent internal motives: between desire and duty, between attraction and ethical standards, personal attachment and moral values. The conflict manifests itself in externally unmotivated obsessive actions when a person is faced with situations that symbolize his internal conflicts.

mixed conflict includes a combination of all previous conflicts, forming more complex interdependent complexes. These are situations in which one internal conflict provokes another type of conflict. At the same time, a person, as a rule, does not expect such an outcome, because he himself does not know how he will react to the results of his own actions. A classic example is the image of Raskolnikov in "Crime and Punishment" by F.M. Dostoevsky. Having made a choice between desire and morality in favor of crime, Raskolnikov could not live with this burden.

V.N. Myasishchev believes that it is necessary to take a differentiated approach to the conditions and causes that cause internal conflicts and neurotic states. In doing so, he is guided by the following provisions. The first is the absence of a direct connection between neurotic development and the constitutional characteristics of a person, considering innate factors to be only one of the conditions among many others. The second provision is the absence of a direct connection between strong affective states, upheavals, losses and the development of internal conflict. The greatest role in the development of internal conflicts V.N. Myasishchev allocates those relationships and connections with reality that developed in the process of life experience, in relationships with a close, significant environment that forms the child's attitudes and reactions to the phenomena of reality. The paramount importance of V.N. Myasishchev attaches to the situations of early childhood and the nature of the relationship that developed in the child in the family. The role of unfavorable relationships is especially emphasized in the critical phases of personality development, when a person is most sensitive to external influences, under the influence of which an intensive formation of personality takes place.

In the clinic for the development of neuroses in children, a number of authors name the main reasons for the discrepancy between the educational influence of the child’s temperament, the characteristics of his response to the surrounding reality, as well as the psychophysiological capabilities of children and the characteristics of the formation of character and personality as a whole (V.I. Garbuzov, A.I. Zakharov).

A number of works by A.I. Zakharov. Sharing the views of V.N. Myasishchev on the problems of the development of internal conflicts of the personality, leading to its neurotic development, A.I. Zakharov, to explain the emotional essence of conflicts in childhood and adolescence, uses the concepts of "anxiety" and "fear", as well as age-related features of the development of the personality of children and adolescents.

AT early preschool leading in the development of internal neurotic conflicts is "the contradiction between the acute need for emotional recognition and the possibility of its satisfaction on the part of parents, manifested by the fear of" being a nobody ", that is, not to mean, not to be of value, to be forgotten and unloved" . This position is indeed consistent with the ideas of developmental psychology. It is in early preschool childhood that the crisis of 3 years is manifested by the demand for attention and recognition of one's "self". It is during this period that children develop a sense of self-worth, their own significance, an attitude towards themselves as an independent person arises. If a child finds himself in a situation of non-recognition of his independence and, moreover, authoritarian suppression of his demands, then “fear of being a nobody” can indeed become the emotional basis of an internal conflict at this age. Such a conflict leads, according to the author, to the development of hysterical neurosis, and if there are no corrective changes in the relationship between parents and children, then the further development of the child's personality can occur according to the hysterical type.

AT senior preschool age children's fears begin to be more acute and manifest themselves in the form of not only objective fear, but also various behavioral reactions. The most typical non-specific reactions of the manifestation of fear neurosis can be disorders of the gastrointestinal tract, acute respiratory infections, various kinds of tics, stuttering, enuresis, masturbation, etc. At the heart of fear neurosis, according to A.I. Zakharova, lies “... a contradiction between the impossibility or weakness of protecting oneself with a pronounced instinct of self-preservation. Such a contradiction manifests itself in the fear of “being nothing”, i.e. not to exist, to be lifeless, dead” [ibid.]. These observations of the author can be correlated with the well-known provisions of the psychology of the development of the personality of an older preschooler. Thus, it is known that children of 6-7 years old are characterized by more aggravated experiences of anxiety and fear, manifested in the fear of death of their own and close relatives. This is explained by the fact that at this age an understanding of the finiteness of life comes to children, which can be strengthened by the observation of the death of close relatives. It is also known that children of this age have a more realistic view of their own age. If younger preschoolers (at 3 years old) consider themselves big, then older preschoolers already understand that they are still small and want to be perceived as small. Three-year-olds say: "I'm already big," and six-year-olds say: "No, I'm still small." Probably, this feeling of one's own smallness, weakness in front of strong adults and the whole world, this developing realistic attitude towards oneself gives rise to a heightened sense of insecurity and the need for more help, protection and care. And if the surrounding adults do not help the child to feel protected, supported and continue to treat him as “already big”, then there is a possibility for children to have an internal conflict between the need for protection and its frustration on the part of close adults. The emotional expression of this conflict A.I. Zakharov defines it as "the fear of being nothing." The peculiarity of this neurotic state A.I. Zakharov calls "fear neurosis". However, "fear neurosis" can be called all other neurotic states in the author's classification. The author probably made this compromise due to the fact that all other childhood fears caused by age-related features of personality development already have analogues in neuropathology and traditional names in their clinical severity, while the neurosis of older preschoolers does not have a traditional name.

Junior school age gives its own picture of the internal conflicts of the child. Studying at school is very often accompanied by a contradiction between the requirements of parents and teachers and the real possibilities of the child. In a situation where everyone (both adults and children) is striving for the most successful result, there is often a conflict between “desire and opportunities”, between demands on oneself or on the part of significant adults and the inability to meet these requirements. The internal conflict caused by the frustration of the need for approval by adults is accompanied by an anxiety state in children, which A.I. Zakharov calls "the fear of being the wrong one." The psychology of personality development in primary school age is in full agreement with such conclusions of the neuropathological approach. It is known that one of the leading needs of personality development in the period of elementary school is the child's need to meet the expectations of adults, associated with the dominant personal orientation towards adults, who for him are represented primarily by teachers and parents.

Adolescence- the age of the most intensive development of the personality - is manifested in significant qualitative intrapersonal neoplasms and is associated with many internal conflicts. In neuropathology, adolescence is associated with its most characteristic internal conflict, which is found in obsessional neurosis, obsessive-compulsive disorder. According to A.I. Zakharov, the most pronounced internal conflict of adolescence is the conflict of the unity of the Self, "the contradiction between feeling and duty, the emotional and rational sides of the psyche." The emotional component of the internal conflict of adolescence is defined by the author as a deep fear of "not being yourself". This idea is consistent with the provisions of developmental psychology, where one of the central problems of personality development in adolescence is the problem of identity, as the ability to live in accordance with one's self, to correspond to one's individuality. The problem that sounds in the question: "How to be yourself among others?"

It is easy to see that the neuropathological approach to the consideration of internal personality conflicts is largely consistent with the periodization of age-related crises in the psychology of personality development, especially in terms of the causes of the development of internal conflicts, which in developmental psychology are usually called age-related crises. Age crises are often defined as normative, thus emphasizing their necessity and even normality. It is difficult to argue with this, since practice, reality proves this literally at every step. But at the same time, there is a classic controversy surrounding the issue of the inevitability of age-related crises. Age psychologists, who believe that crises are inevitable, are guided by the position that if there is a reason in the form of personality neoplasms that arise in the process of personality development, then the crisis is inevitable. In this regard, the concept of critical ages arose. However, authors who study age-related crises always notice that if a child finds himself in a situation of adequate upbringing, crises do not manifest themselves. Perhaps the problem of the inevitability of a crisis should be formulated somewhat differently: to separate personal neoplasms from crises, not to create an inseparable tandem out of them.

New formations of personality are manifested in the development of new needs. If the needs are met adequately to personal development, then neither internal conflicts, nor crises, nor even neuroses in this direction of personality development can arise.

We have previously noted that crises arise as a result of the impossibility of resolving internal conflicts. An internal conflict arises in a situation of frustration of a personal need or the nature of its satisfaction that is unproductive for the individual. Therefore, if you work hard and find a productive way to satisfy the need, then you can avoid pronounced internal conflicts and, as a result, crises, neurotic development of the personality.

In the implementation of crisis-free development of the personality, several necessary conditions should be distinguished: 1) it is important to understand that internal conflicts develop in a situation of frustration of the needs of personal development; 2) it is necessary to study the patterns of age-related development of the individual, their psychological content; 3) it is necessary to separate the needs caused by personality neoplasms and the needs of a secondary plan, the frustration of which does not create conditions for the development of an internal conflict. In the general theoretical question of the origin of neoplasms and the corresponding needs of personal development, we adhere to the positions of cultural-historical psychology and the psychological theory of activity. Personal neoplasms and, accordingly, the needs of personal development are set by the way of life of the society itself, its cultural and psychological level, manifesting itself through the social situation of the development of the individual, transforming in the process of internalization through the individual characteristics and life experience of a person, create a unique individual image of his personality.

An internal conflict threatens to transform into a crisis state if the conflict is ignored or resolved in a way that is unproductive for the development of the personality. A person at every moment of his life is included in the hierarchy of many needs, but only those that are due to the development of the personality, neoplasms of the personality, in case of their frustration, can cause internal conflicts. Neurosis, according to many researchers of this phenomenon, is a "disease of the personality", that is, a consequence of crisis experiences caused by unresolved intrapersonal conflicts.

Age crises arise as a result of the development of personality neoplasms, which entail the needs of personal development. The qualitative changes taking place in the development of the mental sphere inevitably lead to a change in relations in the personal sphere. However, there is no clear sequence (what develops earlier and what develops later) here. The processes of mental and personal spheres are interconnected and mutually condition each other.

Internal conflicts of adolescence

Turning to the issue of internal conflicts of adolescence, it is important to determine the main psychological formations of this age, which create conditions for the development of new needs and determine the further development of the individual. Dissatisfaction of these needs leads to an abnormal change in personality, the development of crisis states and, as a result, to neurotic phenomena.

The main neoplasms of adolescence, as is known, include the development of consciousness at the level self-awareness, development conceptual thinking and development "feelings of adulthood" .

self-awareness manifested in adolescents by the discovery of their inner world, which, as they grow older, more and more filled, is realized by a teenager as something special. L.S. Vygotsky focuses not so much on the result as on process development of self-awareness. Following the principles of the theory of interiorization of mental functions, he believes that self-consciousness does not suddenly open up to an adolescent (although subjectively it can be experienced by an adolescent), but goes through three qualitative stages in the process of ontogenesis: 1) the initial affective self-perceptions of the child; 2) the filling of these affects with semantic content by those around them, against the will of the child, who appropriates this semantic content; 3) the manifestation of affective-semantic content by self-consciousness through internal reflection. Analyzing the content of the development of self-awareness in adolescence, L.S. Vygotsky identifies several of its directions: 1) emergence of self-image, which goes through many intermediate stages from a very early age, ranging from naive ignorance of oneself to rich, in-depth knowledge; 2) knowing yourself from the outside in: at first, children learn only their body, then the world of their own feelings and experiences opens up to them; 3) image integration I: the teenager is becoming more and more aware of himself as a whole; four) separating one's own world from the world of others, which is often experienced by adolescents as a feeling of loneliness, abandonment; 5) development of judgments about oneself according to moral criteria; 6) "increase in interindividual variation": discovery individual differences between individuals .

The inner world appears with all the richness of its innermost thoughts, feelings, searches. A teenager needs to protect his inner world, to protect him from the encroachments of other people. It is no coincidence that adolescence is marked by an increase in the level of egocentrism, focus on one's self.

Conceptual thinking makes it possible to analyze, generalize, draw conclusions, see the differences between phenomena. Actually, thanks to conceptual thinking, it is possible to single out one’s inner world, realize its features and delimit from the world of other people, realize the differences between individuals, “growth of interindividual variation”.

The "feeling of adulthood" is often defined as the desire of adolescents to imitate adults and is expressed in the desire to look and act like an adult. We do not fully agree with this interpretation and tend to share the point of view of D.I. Feldstein, who believes that the concept of “sense of adulthood” must be filled with psychological content ... the position that the feeling of adulthood is manifested in a teenager mainly in the desire to imitate adults is controversial. We really come across the facts on which this position is based quite often ... but they lie on the surface, the psychological essence of this phenomenon does not come down to this.

The experience of counseling practice gives reason to believe that the "sense of adulthood" of a teenager is a rather complex experience, consisting of several new feelings for him. All of them are associated with the development of consciousness and conceptual thinking. The main of these new feelings for a teenager is the emergence of a critical attitude towards the world of adults. And as a result - the development of anxiety, often turning into depressive states, due to disappointment in the adult world and in the world as a whole. In order to understand the full depth of drama that the critical attitude towards the adult world that has come to him turns out for a teenager, it is necessary to go down several steps in terms of age. Children of primary school age, and even more so preschoolers, are not able to be critical of adults, primarily their parents and teachers. There are studies conducted with children of older preschool age, which show that almost all children considered their parents to be the smartest, most beautiful, who knew the answers to all questions, etc., it was impossible to dissuade them from this. When children come to school, their priorities shift towards the teacher. Now the teacher becomes the main authority, the smartest, fairest, most attractive. It is clear that a child who does not yet know how to navigate this world on his own has a need to fully rely on adults in order to feel confident and secure. With the development of consciousness and thinking, which open the way to an independent view of the world of things and phenomena, a teenager has the opportunity to compare himself with the surrounding adults. A teenager begins to discover and realize the world of other people who think, feel and act differently than he does. The teenager becomes aware of the weaknesses, miscalculations, inability, ignorance of those adults whom he unconditionally trusted just yesterday. Discovering the imperfection of adults, a teenager simultaneously begins to experience a feeling of disappointment and anxiety: “How to live in an imperfect world? Who can you rely on? Who can be trusted unconditionally, as before? Feelings of loneliness and abandonment, so often expressed by teenagers, are well known to everyone.

Thus, the deeper, inner and unconscious meaning of the “feeling of adulthood” by adolescents and adults can be defined as development of a critical attitude towards the world of adults. There is a feeling of detachment from close adults, which further, in an unfavorable social situation of development, transforms into opposing oneself to the entire adult world and even the world as a whole, including oneself. From the feeling of disappointment arise anxiety, distrust of the world, a feeling of loneliness, depression and suicidal moods. The external meaning of the manifestation of a sense of adulthood is the desire to look like an adult, the desire to imitate adults. But the way in which "adulthood" will be manifested in the external behavior of a teenager: whether he will imitate the positive aspects of adult life or, rather, its negative manifestations, depends on how, to what extent and by which adult the true sense of adulthood of this teenager will be perceived. . Will his critical attitude towards adults and disappointment in the perfection of the world be accepted? Will an adult be able to relieve a teenager's sense of anxiety and fear of the imperfection of the world, instill confidence and inspire confidence in himself and in the world as a whole?

"The feeling of adulthood", as a disappointment in the perfection of the world, gives rise to one of the essential internal conflicts of adolescence - conflict of trust in the world as a clash of the need for trust in the world of adults, which adolescents are not aware of, and at the same time distrust of it, which is largely recognized by adolescents. This conflict, which causes crisis states, as competent readers have already noticed, echoes the conflict of trust that arises in children in their first year of life as a result of the frustration of the need for emotional-tactile communication with a significant adult. It is likely that the degree of experience of conflict of trust in adolescents is largely due to the degree of traumatic experience of conflict in early childhood.

Awareness of the adolescent's own inner world, individual differences, the development of a critical attitude towards adults and the awareness of the imperfection of the world give rise to an important need for personal development in the adolescent - the need for distance and independence from others, especially from adults. Adolescents often actively and persistently express their need for independence and distance. They demand not to inspect their things, not to read their diaries and notes, not to ask them questions that they do not want to answer, and not to contact them at all and not to arrange inquiries without their consent. Adults, both parents and teachers, as practice shows, are very protesting about the teenager's demand to give him independence. And this is understandable! Adults see one of their primary functions in the upbringing of their children and students. And they understand upbringing as vigilant control, and they perceive the protest of a teenager as a difficulty that must certainly be overcome, broken, and made a teenager subservient and obedient. Tired of constant altercations, adults take the “most decisive educational measure”, throwing in their hearts to a teenager: “Since you are such an adult and independent, then manage your affairs yourself, live as you want, and don’t turn to me for help!” The educational measure is indeed "decisive." At these words, the teenager shudders and droops. He does not quite believe these words, but he is afraid to imagine that he will suddenly find himself without help and support alone in the face of a complex and incomprehensible world.

In this case, teenagers are experiencing a second internal conflict - conflicting needs when two opposing needs for personal development collide: the need for distance and independence and the same powerful need, but in the opposite direction - need for dependency and support. The severity of the conflict lies in the fact that adolescents are not aware of this contradiction. Both of these needs exist simultaneously and require significant adults to satisfy them simultaneously. Otherwise, a crisis and a distorted, neurotic development of the personality are inevitable. Unfortunately, in real life, adults often try to resolve this conflict in a one-sided way: to support either one or the other need, thus leaving the conflict unresolved, which leads to the development of crises and neuroses. Of course, the resolution of this internal conflict seems extremely difficult, but nevertheless, as practice shows, it is possible.

The development of self-awareness opens up to a teenager his inner world, filled with new relationships for him, thoughts, feelings, new experiences. The ability to be aware of one's inner world gives rise to another internal conflict in the soul of a teenager that hurts him - ambivalent feelings to close adults, friends, acquaintances.

In psychology, the phenomenon of a contradictory attitude to reality is called "ambivalence of emotions and feelings". From the point of view of the regularity of our emotional life, formulated by A.N. Leontiev, a feeling, as a long-term and stable relationship, often conflicts with an emotional attitude - situational and short-term, which causes certain inner feelings in a person. Each person deals with this inner conflict differently. It should be noted that not every adult is able to adequately resolve this contradiction. It is all the more difficult for a teenager to cope with this conflict, who suddenly discovers that he simultaneously "loves and hates his parents." It is clear that he loves them always and constantly, and "hates" them only in certain situations. Although in different cases, in different relationships, the ratio of love and hate may vary.

The conflict of dual feelings - Another area that represents the contradiction of the inner world of adolescents. Ambivalence, as studies show, is experienced by all people from early childhood. However, children up to a certain age do not notice, do not realize this state. Adolescents, with the development of self-awareness, suddenly begin to notice, realize the duality of relationships in themselves. This discovery is shocking and unacceptable to them. For teenagers, the contradiction in relationships becomes a big internal problem, bordering on immorality. Studies show that adolescents try to actively resist this duality, but the reality of relationships again and again confronts them with this problem. And finally, tired of the internal struggle, they are forced to resort to some way out. Many authors draw attention to the deepest experiences that adolescents experience when faced with the realization of their conflicting feelings towards their close environment. Studies show that adolescents are trying to fight the duality of relationships, reproaching themselves for their own "immorality", as they call this contradiction, and each one solves this internal conflict in his own way. Some teenagers, having finally come to terms with their own "immorality", accept their negativity and begin to behave even more intolerantly and defiantly, openly demonstrating their negative attitude towards others, believing that in this way they at least remain honest with themselves. Adolescents of this group solve the conflict of ambivalence of emotions and feelings by taking on the role of a rude, aggressive person, and on this wave they allow themselves to be aggressive, unfriendly, and obstinate in all situations. In this case, a protective neurotic reaction develops in the form of aggressive behavior, “movement against people”, to use the terminology of K. Horney.

There is also a part of adolescents who are sensitive to the problems of emotional attitude towards themselves from others, experiencing a high degree of self-doubt. In their behavior there is a neurotic reaction "fear of being guilty." It is extremely difficult for them to apologize even in minor conflict situations. The fear of being guilty makes them extremely quirky.

Adolescents who are prone to introversion, having experienced an ambivalent attitude and being afraid of their “immorality”, try to resolve this conflict by admitting their guilt. The solution of the internal conflict turns for them into constant soul-searching, the development of a sense of guilt and dissatisfaction with oneself. Adolescents focused on the internal locus of control take all the blame for negative emotional states. Their inner world is filled with secret self-flagellation and the development of a negative attitude towards themselves. As a result, conflict resolution leads to more aggravated personality problems that can be classified as neurotic formations. Such teenagers tend to lead a secluded life, are often gloomy, unsociable. Some of them begin to consider themselves the cause of all the troubles that happen next to them, which may well be classified as a neurotic reaction "moving away from people."

A mature attitude to the problem of the adult himself should become a guideline in corrective work with the conflict of dual feelings of adolescents. An adult should be sincere in his feelings and at the same time be able to express his most negative emotions in the correct form. It is important to accept the inconsistencies of the teenager's relationship and help him recognize his positive feelings along with negative emotions.

Conflict "I-concept" manifests itself in at least three directions: in the reconstruction of the “I-image”; in the conflict of "self-esteem" and "self-attitude", in the contradiction between the real and the ideal "I-concepts";

The conditionality of attitude towards oneself by the attitude of significant others in adolescence begins to undergo certain changes. If in the development of their “I-concept” younger schoolchildren, and even more so preschoolers, are almost completely oriented towards significant adults, then for adolescents, orientation towards peers and their own self-knowledge is of paramount importance. At the same time, it should not be assumed that peers completely crowd out adults. For adolescents, the role of an adult is still significant.

The internal conflict of the "image of I", arising as a result of a sharp change in appearance, to one degree or another, all adolescents experience

During adolescence, especially in the puberty phase, there are significant internal and external changes in a person. Adolescents significantly increase in height, body proportions change, secondary sexual characteristics develop, new internal sensations appear, caused by the restructuring of the hormonal system, the development (often disproportionate) of internal organs and physiological systems. In addition, the development of self-awareness, thinking and personality neoplasms make a teenager, to a certain extent, both externally and internally not recognizable by himself.

Adolescents are faced with the need to reconstruct their self-image. The reaction of a teenager to his changing appearance, as a rule, is negative. It is difficult for a teenager to accept a changed self, he has bashfulness, shyness and even anxious feelings about his appearance. This is clearly seen in the increased attention to the changing features of the face, figure, body proportions, captious examination of oneself in the mirror, sadness and despondency about the “terrible” nose or ears. It becomes excruciatingly difficult for them to go out to answer to the blackboard and even rise for everyone to see from their place; it is unbearable to travel alone in transport or go to the store for shopping. A teenager, due to his own egocentrism, it seems that everyone around him is looking at him and experiencing the same dislike for his appearance as he does. Increased shyness can manifest itself in the “cave effect”, when teenagers tend to hide their faces under a long bang, a hat pulled over their eyes, and bury their face in a high collar. Exorbitant jewelry is also a means of hiding, helping to distract prying eyes from your person.

If a teenager fails, due to various circumstances, to accept his new appearance, then the crisis can develop into a neurosis of not accepting his appearance. The unresolved internal conflict of the “I-image” can manifest itself in subsequent adult life through difficulties in communicating with the opposite sex, disharmony in sexual relations, difficulties in accepting one’s changing appearance in subsequent age periods of life, etc. Adults who have such neurotic layers, negatively affect the internal conflicts of their children and students, exacerbating conflicts with their picky evaluative attitude to the external features of adolescents.

Self-relationship conflict. Widely known studies of adolescent self-esteem, expressed in terms of "overestimated" and "underestimated" self-esteem, also indicate an internal conflict associated with the development of the "I-concept". Observations of the dynamics of parent-child relationships suggest that the basis of the “self-esteem conflict” is an internal conflict between “self-esteem”, as a result of a rational, conscious attitude towards oneself, and “self-attitude”, as an emotional and unconscious attitude towards oneself. In fact, this is a conflict between rational (conscious) and emotional (unconscious) self-relationships. Inadequate self-esteem is a defensive reaction to an internal conflict caused by a collision of a desire for positive self-esteem with an unconscious negative emotional self-relationship. Low self-esteem in children and adolescents develops in conditions of emotional rejection and strict authoritarian control by parents or other significant adults. Inflated self-esteem appears in conditions of emotional rejection and upbringing with neglect or permissiveness on the part of parents. Inflated self-esteem can also develop in the conditions of unaccountable love of parents raising a spoiled child.

The conflict between the real and ideal "I-concepts" in adolescence and youth does not cause deep inner feelings, since the prospect of further development only opens before young people.

The main guideline in the prevention and correction of the conflict associated with the development of the "I-concept" in adolescents is the adult's open action, based on an unconditional emotionally positive attitude towards the adolescent, combined with an invaluable, but at the same time adequate reaction to his behavior.

Conflict in the development of psychosexual function . If in the recent past the development of the psychosexual function occurred spontaneously, then in modern psychology its development is given the same importance as other major mental functions: perception, attention, memory, thinking, etc. The main components of the psychosexual function are the development of the psychology of sex (gender), gender identity, competence in the psychophysiology of the sexes and their relationships, the development of erotic culture. In this regard, three levels of development of the psychosexual function are distinguished according to the criterion of its harmonious development in relation to the spiritual and physiological principles. The most primitive level - the physiological one - is characterized by the reduction of the psychosexual function to the purely physiological side of the relationship, while the choice of a sexual partner can be extremely undifferentiated. This level of development is observed in people with reduced intelligence or with deep neurotic personality disorders. The second, more developed, level - psychophysiological - is characterized by a rather high development of erotic culture, more pronounced selectivity in choosing partners, but only according to the criterion of sexual attractiveness. The third level of development of the psychosexual function - it can be called personal - is characterized by psychophysiological identity, the unity of spiritual and sexual drives. Harmony is manifested in the fact that sexual attraction to a person of the opposite sex is mediated by the spiritual closeness of his personality. This level of development involves both sexual and spiritual attraction to one person. A person receives true sexual satisfaction only in communication with a spiritually close partner.

The intensive development of psychosexual function in adolescence is associated with significant internal experiences, causes emotionally unstable states and intense intrapersonal conflicts in adolescents. The most significant internal conflict, noted by many psychologists, starting from the works of E. Spranger, is manifested in the opposition of the spiritual and physiological principles in the relationship of the sexes, "erotica and sexuality" in the relationship between a man and a woman. Spirituality in the relationship of love between men and women is perceived as a deliberately positive phenomenon, ennobling, elevating a person, glorified in poetry and literature. The reckoning of these relationships as purely physiological, on the contrary, is perceived as a phenomenon that degrades a person, is associated with something dirty and shameful, about which obscene jokes, rude abuse and so on are made.

It is assumed that by adolescence, the function should be harmonized. But very often the conflict of inclinations is fixed already in adolescence and further development in terms of harmonization of the function does not occur. In this case, the duality of drives as a neurotic stratification remains in the whole subsequent life. The negative influences of the neurotic development of the psychosexual function then manifest themselves in intrapersonal conflicts, in problems of marital relations, in the transmission of a negative "script" in the upbringing of children.

It should be noted that sexual revolutions, despite certain costs, nevertheless pursue quite noble goals, make gender issues open for discussion in scientific and popular literature, the subject of scientific research, and an open exchange of opinions.

The harmonious development of psychosexual function in adolescents requires the fulfillment of certain conditions: 1) the harmonious development of the personality and psychosexual function of the educator himself; 2) correct education of children and adolescents in matters of gender and the development of psychosexual function; 3) observance of the principle of chastity in the upbringing of both girls and boys.

The main strategy in resolving internal conflicts is the orientation towards the integration of opposing tendencies in the development of the personality of a teenager (A.I. Krasilo). Currently, in everyday practice, unfortunately, a one-sided approach prevails, when adults push the teenager to develop one trend, which creates the conditions for the development of crises and neurotic defensive reactions in adolescents.

The resolution of internal conflicts in the personality of adolescents requires:

1. do not leave difficulties in communicating with a teenager for "self-permission";
2. in the process of upbringing, adults (parents and teachers) should take responsibility for adequate satisfaction of needs that are personally significant for a teenager, so as not to create situations for the development of internal conflicts and crises;
3. an adult must improve his psychological competence in the laws of personal development in ontogeny;
4. an adult needs to be able to respond not to external, behavioral manifestations, which often do not reflect true problems, but to deeply internal, unconscious motives for adolescent behavior;
5. in the process of communicating with a teenager, it is necessary to highlight the needs of personal development that have not been met and provoke internal, conflict states;
6. adults need to learn how to build adequate relationships that can productively meet the needs of the personal development of children and adolescents;
7. it is necessary to create a wide network of psychological services for adults in order to solve their internal problems and increase their competence in communicating with children and adolescents.

Intrapersonal conflict is a contradictory state of a person, which is characterized by general fatigue, depression, psychological discomfort and impotence. Intrapersonal conflict is manifested in the fact that a person cannot find a balance within himself, the right ways to solve disturbing problems. It seems that the spirit of contradiction is tearing him apart from the inside: he is constantly rushing about in search of a suitable option, but he cannot find a way out. What are the reasons for this conflict? What is it characterized by, what are the ways to resolve it?

Causes of intrapersonal conflicts

The conflict caused by the internal contradictions of the individual has its own reasons. It can never appear out of nowhere. There are plenty of reasons for the development of intrapersonal conflict.

Dissatisfaction with life

The first reason for developing conflict with oneself is the feeling of inner emptiness. A person has a feeling of some spiritual hopelessness, which is based, most often, on insignificant facts. As a rule, some external circumstances contribute to the development of disbelief in oneself and one's own capabilities, and hinder effective progress. Dissatisfaction with life is the reason why often a person does not try to change anything in his existence. He has a number of limiting beliefs, such as: “No one loves me”, “No one is interested in me”, “I have no talent, special gifts”

Hence the unwillingness to act at all. An intrapersonal conflict caused by dissatisfaction with life cannot be quickly resolved. It will take a lot of time and patience for a person to realize his own disorder, the lack of free positive energy.

Impossibility of self-realization

Another common reason for the development of intrapersonal conflict is the inability to live by one's own rules. Not everyone initially has equal opportunities in order to fully realize their potential. One person is hindered by external circumstances. The other person is unable to get around significant obstacles on the way to the goal and therefore gradually loses his bearings. Intrapersonal conflict is a reflection of discord with one's own essence. When a person cannot understand what is most important for him in life, experiences significant difficulties in setting priorities, he is unable to make the right decision.

The impossibility of self-realization is a serious reason that impedes personal growth in general and the understanding of one's strengths in particular. If a person is in deep conflict with himself, then it is quite difficult for him to determine his true values. In this case, all prospects are lost, many opportunities are missed that could lead to the most desired result.

Low self-esteem

Often the development of intrapersonal conflict contributes to inadequately low self-esteem. For some reason, a person ceases to believe in his own prospects and opportunities, does not notice his strengths. Usually, low self-esteem is the result of improper upbringing, when the influence of parents becomes a kind of directive and does not imply any alternatives. The conflict develops when a person ceases to be aware of what is happening to him, crushes his natural aspirations and desires. Intrapersonal conflict, as a rule, proceeds for several months or even years. During this period, a person must realize what is happening to him, find ways out of the crisis, outline several ways for himself to advance in the future. If the resolution of the conflict related to one's own "I" and self-realization does not occur in time, a person runs the risk of losing the best part of himself, becoming indifferent to everything.

Types of intrapersonal conflicts

The presence of any conflict must be approached as a problem that needs to be solved. Types of intrapersonal conflict show what initially caused the emergence and subsequent formation of a significant contradiction in a person. In relations with oneself, various conditions are important, with the help of which a person achieves a state of integrity. Unfortunately, even a minor obstacle on the path of life can break harmony.

Equivalent type

The conflict is expressed in the desire to preserve for oneself significant conditions of peace of mind and at the same time not to lose an important reference point. Most often, such a collision occurs as a result of the urgent need to make a conscious choice between the past and the present. The conflict forces a person to reconsider his own attitude to certain conditions of existence. It is exacerbated by the fact that there is a need to choose between two equivalent values. A person can sometimes be in thought for a long time, painfully trying to take the right step. As a rule, such a conflict implies that, giving preference to one event, we finally reject another, which is of no less importance.

vital type

The conflict manifests itself through unpleasant obligations that a person takes on his shoulders at a certain point in his life. The vital type is characterized by a loss of interest in one's own personality and in those activities that previously constituted a significant basis for existence. It is not solved by the usual methods of influencing the problem. A person is forced to spend a long time in an exhausting search before he dares to take a concrete step. As a rule, he is conscious and balanced. The conflict arises because a person has to make a choice between two equally unsatisfactory objects. In most cases, people tend to minimize their losses, so they prefer to focus on the lesser evil.

Ambivalent type

This person with himself implies that the choice is especially difficult to make. A person understands how serious the consequences of a wrong step can be and therefore is very afraid of the possibility of making a mistake. The ambivalent situation assumes that the result of actions somehow attracts and, at the same time, repels. In any case, the individual will have to overcome the conflict. A contradictory state does not at all contribute to the development of harmony within a person. If the conflict is not resolved in time, then additional suffering will appear due to some kind of hidden internal unfulfillment.

frustrating type

The conflict appears as a result of disapproval by society of specific actions of the individual, aimed at obtaining a particular result. The conflict manifests itself through the impossibility for the individual to do what is of significant interest to her. There is practically no freedom of choice here. A person who is in a state of pronounced frustration is necessarily in a struggle with himself. The inability to solve the problem alone eventually leads to conflict with the outside world.

Resolution of intrapersonal conflict

Intrapersonal conflict is a very dangerous thing. In many ways, it often prevents the formation of individuality, the disclosure of talents and abilities. A person in this state often does not notice what is happening to him. Suffering gradually becomes an integral part of his habitual existence. The resolution of an intrapersonal conflict leads to the disclosure of the true capabilities of a person, contributes to the establishment of relationships with loved ones. Suddenly, significant prospects appear that for some reason were not noticed before. What are the ways to resolve the internal conflict?

Compromise

Achieving a compromise with oneself implies that a person will constantly work on shortcomings, try in every possible way to eradicate them. Many conflicts were resolved through compromise. Find in yourself those traits that you yourself find useful. These qualities of character will need to be cultivated in oneself to a confident state. The conflict is minimized and will gradually disappear altogether.

Recognizing your strengths

Of course, each of us has them. In most cases, a person tends to ignore his own victories and achievements. This approach to life allows him to constantly complain about the lack of opportunities. Meanwhile, opportunities are hidden everywhere, you just need to be able to see them in time. Intrapersonal conflict always reflects the unfair attitude of a person towards his own person. Check yourself, are you diminishing your achievements? Recognizing one's strengths will help not only to resolve a pressing conflict, but also to qualitatively improve life, to bring a lot of bright colors into it. Try to take the position “I am a value”, then you will not have to constantly prove to others your importance. Relatives, colleagues, friends from afar will recognize your personality and will not allow themselves more offensive statements addressed to you. Believe me, a strong person is one who was able to realize his true nature, to gain respect for himself. That is why we are respected by others.

Understanding your purpose

Conflict with oneself is always incredibly exhausting. It's like a battle that has no winners. People are sometimes ready to adapt to the demands of society and shift responsibility for their own destiny onto someone else's shoulders. Only the understanding of one's true destiny turns a person to a greater extent towards himself. It becomes difficult to confuse such a person, to impose some kind of opinion on her. If you want to be happy, find your favorite thing that will inspire you to new achievements and give you a lot of positive emotions. The resulting impressions will help to cope with any difficulties, resolve intrapersonal conflict.

Thus, in conflict there is always an opportunity for personal growth. The more efforts we make to overcome the contradiction, the more noticeable the final result will be. It is extremely important for a person to be able to deal with his internal conflicts in time in order to fully move forward and go through life with his head held high.

Quarrel, swearing, scandal, boycott - the first thing that often comes to mind at the mention of the word conflict. Something unpleasant, spoiling the relationship. Often this word is used in a political context: armed conflict. And it is associated with something dangerous, disturbing.

If we consider this concept impartially, without a negative connotation, we can say that conflict is a violation of balance. This is a kind of situation that is knocked out of the usual scheme of existence. If the balance is disturbed, there is a need to return it, to organize life in line with the usual scheme.

That is, a conflict is a situation that occurred as a result of an unpredictable event. This description can be applied to all conflicts in principle, whether it be a conflict between organism and environment, between man and man, between man and society, or between man and the elements.

There are numerous classifications of conflicts. A whole section of psychology deals with the study of this phenomenon and is called "conflictology". Within the framework of this article, I propose to consider conflicts in terms of their course and divide them into external and internal.

External conflicts- organism-environment conflicts. They occur at the border-contact of a person with the outside world. The balance in human-environment interaction is disturbed. This group includes all conflicts that arise between a person and something or someone external.

Internal conflicts(in psychology they are often called intrapersonal) - nothing more than a collision of our internal phenomena.

For example, the belief that one must always be polite and the desire to respond with rudeness to rudeness. By remaining polite, a person feeds his belief that he did the right thing. But he feels dissatisfaction from the fact that he did not express his true attitude, did not defend himself. In this case, he can conduct an internal dialogue for a long time in order to calm down and prove to himself that he did the right thing.

The problem lies in the fact that repeated repetition of such situations leads to a persistent feeling of dissatisfaction, and sometimes even depression.

Often, the rules, norms and beliefs learned from childhood, and the desires that a person has in the current period, collide with each other.

The right girls and boys, raised by good moms and dads, are often very vulnerable in adulthood. They were instilled with good manners, but they were not taught to listen to themselves and their desires, to defend boundaries and defend themselves.

Nurtured by caring parents who protected them from all the cruelty and ugliness of the world, in adulthood they become, at best, eccentrics in rose-colored glasses. Trusting and naive.
They are the easiest to offend and deceive.

And it is precisely in them that internal conflicts are the most, since upbringing dictates that it is necessary to behave well, and reality shows that this is not always necessary. And here you can often see incongruity - the discrepancy between external manifestations and internal needs. And this is nothing but a lie.

Lie to myself: I want one thing, but I do another. Self-deception leads to deception of others. This is how an internal conflict develops into an external one. The interlocutor on a non-verbal level feels deceit, a catch, a lie. And does not believe in the answer.

Often internal conflict is not recognized. A person experiences discomfort, but does not understand what he is connected with. The psyche is in tension, it is necessary to reduce anxiety, but the "owner" has powerful psychological defenses that prevent awareness.

And then the bodily symptom appears. This is what is called psychosomatics. All diseases from nerves is a well-known phrase. And it has a theoretical basis.

Unconscious problems are looking for a way out. Not finding a way out into consciousness, they manifest themselves at the bodily level. Due to problems in the psycho, the soma (body) reacts. Here comes the psychosomatic ailment, which include gastritis, psoriasis, eczema, stomach ulcers and other sores.

Example from practice:

Diana, 21 years old. Married, child, 1.5 years. She lives in the same apartment with her husband, mother-in-law and two sisters of her husband. She suffers from chronic nasal congestion, which is why she is forced to constantly use vasoconstrictor drops. Experiencing severe discomfort.

In the process of therapy, it turns out that for the first time she encountered this problem during pregnancy, on which she attributed the onset of the symptom. After childbirth, the symptom did not go away. It turns out that for the first time the symptom was discovered after Diana moved into an apartment with her husband and his relatives.

In the process of work, strong feelings for her husband's relatives “emerge”. Diana describes her condition: I am suffocating in this house, I don’t have enough space, I don’t have my own space, everything that is there is alien and wild to me. Then, during the experiment, a phrase is formulated: I do not want to breathe the same air with them.

Realizing this moment, Diana felt a strong relief. Gradually, the symptom subsided as we began to work on becoming aware of her boundaries, needs, and ways to make our life around her husband's relatives more comfortable.

Approximately six months later, a significant case occurred with Diana. She went to the country with her parents. The situation was tense, since Diana's relationship with her mother is rather difficult. On the territory of her parents, she is forced to constantly follow the rules and do only what her mother wants from her.

After spending the whole day at the dacha, Diana returns home by car through the rapeseed fields. Gradually, she begins to feel worse and worse: her eyes water, her nose runs, her temperature rises. An hour later, once at home, Diana feels completely ill. She is sure that she is experiencing an acute attack of an allergy to rapeseed.

But what really happened? A typical situation of "suffocation", the imposition of someone else's will, violation of boundaries causes strong resistance. Feelings towards “violators” are forbidden, as they can lead to strong affect and scandal. The psyche crushes their awareness and subsequent manifestation of feelings. Unconscious phenomena emerge along a familiar route - through a bodily symptom. Again stuffy nose, snot, etc.

In further therapy, an eco-friendly way for Diana to defend her boundaries was developed, and the symptom left her forever.

Here we see an intrapersonal conflict between the need to declare one's desires, to defend one's own boundaries, and the inability to talk about it due to the prohibition on expressing negativity and disagreement with relatives (both one's own and her husband's relatives).

As a child, the client had a traumatic experience in a family where an overbearing mother did not take into account the needs and desires of children and constantly punished for disobedience. Therefore, any disagreement with the opinion of family members was imprinted in the psyche of Diana, as fraught with punishment.

The danger of psychosomatic symptoms is that, if ignored, they pass completely into the body (soma) and become chronic, becoming a real disease requiring medical intervention.

It is also necessary to mention that the model of behavior learned in childhood does not always correspond to the tasks of the modern world. Our parents lived at a time when the world around was somewhat different.

Accordingly, we were brought up to live in a society that no longer exists. Therefore, it is sometimes worth revising your attitudes, rules and principles and checking them for compliance with reality.

Clear, rigid (sedentary, settled) attitudes and rules create obstacles for creative adaptation to interaction with the outside world. Therefore, it is important to try, test new ways of behavior that go beyond the usual in order to feel the fullness of life and breathe deeply!