We reveal the secrets of how to ask for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday. How to accept an apology

For the Orthodox, Forgiveness Sunday is not just a way to express their emotions and cleanse the soul of sins by asking for forgiveness from loved ones, but also the final stage of preparation before Great Lent. Known since childhood, the rite is a special sacrament that should be approached with an open soul and sincerity, otherwise there will be no complete redemption.

And only by reconciling with relatives and enemies who have been seriously offended, it is possible to find peace and open the soul to reconciliation with God. That's why it's so important to know how to respond to "I'm sorry" on Forgiveness Sunday.

History of tradition

The holiday itself came to us after an important event for Christians - the ascent of Jesus the Savior to Golgotha, his death and resurrection. The apostles, left on earth by God, who atoned for the sins of believers, introduced this new custom in order to instill in people love for the Almighty and teach them to communicate with Him correctly.

In the past, people often gathered for sermons, services in small churches after idle festivities at social events. Arriving at the temple with such an attitude, they could not perceive the words of the clergy at the proper level and tune in the right way. Their souls, filled with joy, and stomachs that knew satiety, inspired Christians with completely different feelings and worldly desires.

Fact! Even earlier, the Jewish priests in Egypt went to the desert to fast. Knowing that not everyone would return home after surviving the hermitage, they got together to apologize for all the wrong they had done during the year. So it was possible to boldly go on a dangerous path, without worrying that unresolved matters would remain behind.

That is why the followers of the teachings of Jesus introduced the custom of fasting and indulging in prayers a few days before confession and visiting the temple of God. Then the custom was introduced not only for spiritual purification, but also for restricting attendance at entertainment events. The freed time is devoted to prayers and rethinking the actions committed in the past. It is at this moment that the Christian who is most detached from the world realizes his sins before those around him.

Having passed the preparatory stage and reconciled with the deed, the Orthodox must tune in a special way that will allow him to forgive himself and find reconciliation with the Lord. It is for this reason that before the start of the Fortecost, a person not only walks at Maslenitsa. On Forgiveness Sunday, every layman not only apologizes for past offenses, but also remembers how to reconcile with others and respond to “I'm sorry.” So, starting with the cleansing of the soul from the burden, you can begin to prepare the body for the Easter holiday.

important words

Asking for forgiveness, it is necessary not only to pronounce phrases, but also to send an emotional message to a person, filled with remorse and sincerity. Then the rite of forgiveness will begin to act as it should, and the interlocutor will feel that there is no hypocrisy and falsehood in the request, which is too much in the outside world.

Important! It's best to apologize in simple terms. Poems and pictures are formal, empty phrases. Only an honest admission of specific mistakes will help merit redemption.

A Christian, for whom the holiday of Forgiveness Sunday is significant, must understand how to respond to "I'm sorry." After all, when pronouncing the answer, it is necessary not only to voice the words, but also to invest in them a spiritual impulse. In this case, the forgiver will also be forgiven of sins, and he will become closer to the Savior.

Saying the cherished words "God will forgive" or answering in your own way, you need to do it sincerely. Having said a phrase familiar to everyone since childhood, you need to try to let go of all grievances forever and continue to live in the present, not the past. There is no greater sin than saying the words "I forgive" and then, after a few years, remembering past grievances to those who were apologized and who were released in peace. Such an attitude to custom will provoke the wrath of God and bring many trials into life to atone for the sin committed.

Church ministers often point out these subtleties in the last stage of preparation for Great Lent. They repeatedly repeat that the sins that the Orthodox cannot forgive, God forgives. That is why the classic response phrase consists of two parts:

“God will forgive” reminds us that only the Almighty is able to see whether a person has sincerely repented of perfect deeds. Even if a person is not able to release evil on the offender, the Savior is always ready to accept the one who understands that he did wrong and is ready to atone for his guilt. Recognition of mistakes and repentance is the first thing a person should do before starting to observe Great Lent.

“And I forgive” is an equally important part of the phrase. It carries deep meaning. These words should be spoken only by those who are really ready to release evil on the offender, having accomplished a spiritual feat. Humility is one of the most important virtues, and the one who knows it understands that everything is in the hands of God. No need to pollute your soul with hatred for your neighbor who has done evil. But if there is no strength for this, then at least you should not lie hypocritically. It is better to honestly confine ourselves only to the wish for forgiveness from the Almighty.

Sometimes it's hard to accept an apology from the person who said or did something bad to you. You may doubt the sincerity of the apology, or you may need time to think and evaluate his words. If you decide to accept a person's apology, then you will need to speak or act. If the apology seems sincere and sincere to you, then try to accept it and then forgive the person for his offense.

Steps

Part 1

Pay attention to the wording. Analyze the phrase you heard. Mentally note first-person statements like, “I realized I did something wrong and I’m sorry about it.” Also watch your tone of voice and gestures. If the person looks into your eyes and the voice sounds sincere, then such an apology can be sincere. If a person hides his eyes, speaks with sarcasm or without emotion, then such an apology may turn out to be insincere.

• Sincere apologies are always direct and heartfelt. For example: “I realized that I did wrong, and now I regret it. I apologize for my actions and hope you can forgive me."
• A shy and timid person, or a person with autism, may avoid eye contact while still speaking sincerely.

1. Pay attention to passive-aggressive signs in the wording. They testify to the insincerity of the apology. For example, statements in the first person can be supplemented with words that you were wrong or forced a person to do a bad deed. Such wording may be a sign of insincere apology and an attempt to shift the blame on you or refuse the consequences of their actions.

   • Here is an example of a passive-aggressive apology: “I asked you to go to a meeting with me, but you refused, so I went myself and lied to you about it. But if you agreed, then I wouldn't have to lie. Basically, I'm sorry." Such a person is unlikely to sincerely repent for his act and tries to get out of a delicate situation through an apology.

2. Rely on your intuition. In addition to analyzing what you heard and the person’s intentions, your intuition and your instincts are often the measure of your perception. Consider your apology and listen to your intuition. Do you think that the person is sincere and honest with you? Do you have doubts or uncertainty about the words you hear?

3. Consider whether you are ready to accept an apology. Before accepting an apology, you should study the context of what you heard and consider how much you know this person. If this is a close friend who is not the first time asking for forgiveness for a bad deed, then it is possible that he sees in the apology an excuse for his actions. If a relative or partner apologizes for such an act that is not characteristic of him, most likely his apologies are sincere.

   • People make mistakes and lie or hurt for a variety of reasons. It is important that you are able to leave other people's mistakes in the past, especially after a sincere apology. If you are still not sure whether you can believe the words you hear, then tell the person about your experiences. It's better to do that than accept an apology you don't believe in yourself, hold a grudge, and pretend everything is okay.

   Part 2

   How to accept an apology

   1. Thanks for the apology. Tell the person that you are grateful for their apology and willingness to make things right. Just say “Thank you for being able to apologize” or “I appreciate your words.”

      • Don't brush aside the apology with "It's OK" or "Nonsense". A flippant response can hurt the feelings of the apologizer, as well as leave the situation unresolved. Be able to show your appreciation for the fact that a person has the courage to admit his mistake.

   2. Explain why you were in pain. When you thank the person for the apology, talk about why that particular act hurt you. This will allow you to express your emotions honestly and show that you are not taking the situation lightly. Say, “I'm glad you apologized. It was very painful for me to hear you lie” or “Thank you for your apology. I felt bad when you yelled at me in front of your parents.”

      • Talk about your feelings directly, but without passive aggression. Sincere and honest apologies deserve reciprocity.

   3. Say "I understand" instead of "It's okay." To resolve the situation, you can say that you understand the reasons for that act and want to leave the situation in the past. You can say: “I understand why you then deceived me, and I am ready to forgive you.”

      • Words like “It’s okay” or “Forget about it” don’t tell you how much you accepted the apology. It is also a sign of disrespect to the person who makes a sincere apology.

      Part 3

      How to show that you have accepted an apology

      1. 

         Write a letter saying you accept the apology and forgive the person. Once you've accepted an apology, it's not easy to prove your forgiveness with actions. The feeling of grief, resentment and pain after the words or deed of a person may still not let you go and prevent you from truly forgiving him. One way to get your emotions under control is to write a letter about why you were hurt and what you will do to forgive the person.

         • Don't be afraid to be direct and honest. You can discuss why you are still feeling frustrated, and also tell you that you may need time. For example, write something like this: "I still haven't moved on from what you did, but I'm trying really hard to forgive you. I think our friendship is strong enough to get through this.
         • It is not necessary to give this letter to a person, as it may say something that you would not like to tell. However, the very fact that you have written down your experiences caused by a particular person will help you survive them and move on.

      2. Offer to spend time together. Another way to turn forgiveness into action is to show that you accept the person's apology. Invite a friend to spend time together so that she understands that you are still happy with her company and wish to remain friends.

         • Plan a walk or activity together so that you can work together and still support each other (co-creation or team sports). This will show that you are willing to restore your trust and renew your relationship. Think about activities you enjoyed doing together. This will demonstrate that you have put your conflicts behind you and are ready to continue a pleasant relationship.

      3. 

         Be prepared to repeat problems. You need to not only learn to trust a person again (especially after accepting a sincere apology), but also to recognize the signs of new problems in time. Minor facts may indicate that a person is capable of repeating the same mistake or reverting to old habits that cause new problems and lead to apologies. Don't let people make mistakes or hurt you again.

         • For example, a girl is starting to show up late for dates or scheduled appointments, and you're worried that she'll start being consistently late again. You can indirectly hint about this and say that you are worried about this behavior. Remind her that you're offended by this, and she's had to apologize once before for being late. Perhaps this will make her reconsider her own behavior and help you avoid future problems.

Why on Forgiveness Sunday to the words of a person “Forgive me!” Is it customary to answer “God will forgive!”?

To the words “Forgive me”, the Orthodox sincerely and from the bottom of their hearts answer “God will forgive and I forgive”, testifying that the Lord has forgiven the offense caused, and the person does not hold evil.

When a person asks for a petition, he does not ask for a trial, not to completely analyze the situation, but admits that he brought pain and regrets it. And the other, forgiving, understands that debts may remain, but he also does not judge. The words "God will forgive" mean that I am a sinner, I am not your judge. This is the essence of Christian forgiveness.

Psychologist Andrey Fomin

I think it will not be a sin instead of “God will forgive” to answer “I have nothing to forgive you for” in cases where there really is nothing. This is better than once again breaking the third commandment by taking the name of God in vain. As a rule, the “unforgiven” in such a situation tries to prove that “it is supposed to be so”; in response to this, we can kindly remind you of the danger of a formal attitude to the need for reconciliation before fasting. But only if this reminder is really meek and loving, otherwise the occasion that was absent for mutual forgiveness may immediately appear.

Archpriest Dimitry Struev

Hypocrisy, of course, happens, and you should beware of it.

But it all depends on how we forgive. It is necessary to distinguish between two facets - personal forgiveness and the wish that God forgive the offender. Suppose Denis did me meanness, asks me for forgiveness, and now I don’t have the strength to forgive him (although I understand that it needs to be done), but I am sure that if he repents, God will forgive him, and I will forgive him this I sincerely wish. There are two different sources of forgiveness: my own (which is also important) and God's own. Many people, we know, have deeply reconciled themselves with God, without receiving the forgiveness of loved ones who did not understand them. Sometimes they say to me: “Forgive me!”, And it happens that you answer: “I didn’t take offense at you, I have nothing to forgive you, but God forgive you.”

But how often these holy words are spoken in vain! “God will forgive”, “Save, Lord!” - we pour, without putting a prayer appeal into them. But without this - the main thing, prayer - they turn into shaking the air. Although ... sometimes you can rejoice at this “sorry”.

When saying “God will forgive”, it is important to try to put into these words a sincere desire for the Lord to really forgive a person: “I want us to be reconciled, to find peace among ourselves before God.”

I also think that if you honestly answer the request for forgiveness: “Denis, understand, because of my weakness I still cannot forgive you from my heart, but I ask God to forgive you!”, This will bring us closer than the hypocritical “forgive me” or pretending that nothing happened.

Archpriest Mikhail ZAYTSEV

Forgiveness Sunday, which ends Pancake Week on March 10, 2019, is a special holiday. The essence of this day before the start of Lent is the purification of the soul, which is why our sincere repentance is so important.

In Orthodox churches, at the liturgy, the Gospel is read with a part of the Sermon on the Mount, in which Jesus Christ speaks of the need for the forgiveness of sins:

“For if you forgive people their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive people their trespasses, then your Father will not forgive you your trespasses.”

What words are suitable to ask for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, what to say in response to Forgiveness Sunday? This is what our story will be about.

What is the best way to ask for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday 2019?

After the evening service in the temples, a special rite is performed, when the clergy and parishioners ask each other for forgiveness. On this day, friends and relatives also ask each other for forgiveness for past grievances.

It is believed that you need to blame not only before those people with whom you are in a quarrel, but before everyone, because sometimes people do not even realize that someone is offended by them.

How to ask for forgiveness from family and friends on Forgiveness Sunday? This can be done both in person and in writing by sending an apology and congratulations on the holiday in the form of SMS or e-mail. If you were wrong, you should admit it and try to make amends.

How to do it? You need to say or write: "Forgive me", "Forgive me, for God's sake, for all my insults, voluntary and involuntary" or "Forgive us sinners."

And if reproaches follow from the person you blame, then you need to listen to them calmly, without contradicting him, because on Forgiveness Sunday you can’t quarrel and swear with anyone.

How to respond to Forgiveness Sunday?

A request for forgiveness cannot be denied. In response, you need to say: “God will forgive! And I forgive you." At the same time, it is customary for the people to bow to the waist, and after the words of forgiveness, kiss three times.

You need to forgive insults sincerely so that you no longer remember the pain caused to you. It is believed that if an Orthodox Christian forgives his offenders, then the Lord will forgive him for all sins.

What else needs to be said about asking for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday? It is customary to do this not only in relation to the living, but also to the deceased, because sometimes a heavy burden remains on the soul when a person is no longer alive.

You should visit the graves of relatives, bring refreshments (pancakes) and thus also apologize to them. If it is not possible to visit the cemetery, you need to light a candle in the evening, remember your loved ones who have gone to another world, and repent to them for your bad deeds.

We hope that our article will tell you how to ask for forgiveness and what to say in response to Forgiveness Sunday, and you will be able to build warm relationships with your friends and loved ones.

Today is the end of the Maslenitsa week, which means that the time for hearty rich food on the table is coming to an end. Traditionally, the last day of Maslenitsa is called Forgiveness Sunday. This year it fell on February 18th.

On this day, you must definitely ask for forgiveness from all relatives and friends, especially if you seriously offended someone. In addition, today it is impossible to refuse forgiveness to other people, let go of your grievances!

On Forgiveness Sunday, people go to visit relatives and honor their parents. Today, by the way, it is forbidden to consume dairy products.

But still, the main thing is to cleanse the soul of resentment and repent of one's dreams in front of other people. In addition, it is customary to come to the graves of the dead and bring pancakes to apologize to those who can no longer be seen.

Be sure to pray to God today, and this bright video will help you!

Congratulations on Forgiveness Sunday

Today I ask everyone for forgiveness
For phrases, actions, my behavior.
And if you keep a grudge in your soul,
I beg you, forgive me this offense!
And may souls be cleansed on this day,
After all, nobody needs rubbish in this life.
May God forgive us all sins.
I wish that He saves everyone from troubles!

The bright holiday has come!
This Sunday
Before God you
I'm sorry.
Let's forget all the bad
And leave behind
Let only bright moments
Waiting on the path of life!

I'm sorry for everything
What could hurt you.
May God forgive, as they say.
Forgive you now.
I forgive you for all the years
I don't hold grudges
And if you forgive me,
"Thank you" I'll tell you!

Let with forgiveness Sunday
All grudges go away.
Forgive me today.
I will forgive. We'll be quits.
May spring warm you
This day is so good
And luck, happiness, joy
In a moment they will come and stun!

In a bright moment and an hour of forgiveness
With the help of the Lord
I ask you to forget the insults
Freed from sins.
May the ray of God's Grace
In the soul will disperse the clouds
And all of us in the world of sinners
To love, to forgive will teach.

Happy holiday to you! Forgive and ask for forgiveness yourself)