When we do good to others, we do good. Quotes and phrases about actions and behavior. Does good come back
Caring for others not only distracts you from worrying about yourself; it will also help you make many friends and have a lot of fun in life. How? With such a question, I once turned to Yale University professor William Lyon Phelps. Here is what he replied to me:
“When I go to a hotel, hairdresser or shop, I make sure to say something nice to everyone I meet. I try to tell everyone what distinguishes him as a person, so that he does not feel like just a cog in the machine. Sometimes I give compliments to the saleswoman who serves me in the store. I express my admiration for her beautiful eyes or hair. I ask the hairdresser if he gets tired of standing on his feet all day. In addition, I'm interested in how he became a hairdresser, how many years he has been working and how much hair he managed to fix in this time. I help him count it. I have noticed that showing interest makes a person beam with happiness. I shake the hand of the porter who brought my bag. This creates a good mood and cheerfulness for the whole day. One exceptionally hot summer day, I went to have breakfast in the dining car of a railroad express. The crowded car seemed like a red-hot furnace, and passenger service was very slow. When the waiter finally handed me the menu, I told him: “The cooks working in the hot kitchen are having a very hard time today.” The waiter started cursing at first. He spoke in an offended tone. At first I thought he was angry. "Merciful, almighty God," he exclaimed. “People come to us and constantly complain about the food. They are unhappy with the slow service and grumble about the heat and high prices. I have been listening to these complaints for nineteen years. You are the first and only person who expressed human sympathy for the cooks working at the hot stove. I pray to God that we come across as many such passengers as possible.
The waiter was shocked because I treated the Negro chefs as human beings. I looked at them as if they were living people, and not as cogs in a complex railway mechanism. “People need,” continued Professor Phelps, “at least a little human attention to themselves. When I walk down the street and see a person with a beautiful dog, I always express my admiration for her. Walking forward a little, I look around and often see how he caresses her. My admiration for her beauty intensifies his love for her.
Once in England I met a shepherd with a huge smart sheepdog. I admired her beauty and told the shepherd about it. I asked him to tell me how he raised the dog. When I had gone some distance and looked over my shoulder, I saw the dog stand up on its hind legs, resting its front paws on the shoulders of the shepherd, who caressed him. The fact that I took an interest in the shepherd and his dog made the shepherd happy. I also made the dog and myself happy.”
Can you imagine that a person who thanks the porter by shaking his hand, expresses his sympathy for the cooks working in the hot kitchen, and admires the dogs of strangers on the street, was gloomy and worried? Does such a person need the help of a psychiatrist? Of course no. A Chinese proverb says: "The scent of roses always comes from the hand that gives them."
If you look into the holy scriptures, then Orthodoxy interprets goodness as follows: “Goodness that comes from the heart will definitely return to a person who does good deeds. Good deeds are the blessing of the Lord God. When doing good, one should not expect a response, righteous people do everything disinterestedly and they feel good about it.
At present, many are inclined to believe that good deeds should be done only in relation to those people who can remember it, appreciate it and respond in kind. In essence, this is nothing but a manifestation of one's own egoism. Therefore, when such a person gets into any unpleasant situation, he will be treated in the same way. No one disputes what it is, even if a kind of goodness has the right to exist. But still, good deeds should be done just like that without waiting for a response. For example, let's say that many people help others without giving their name. Thus, they do not want to draw public attention to themselves and simply rejoice in the fact that they can help their fellow man.
boomerang law
Why do good deeds?
- To soothe your soul. In most cases, the "reverse effect" works. This means that a person who has done a good deed will receive even more good;
- Imagine that you are in a difficult situation. Most likely, you would like someone to help you. Therefore, you should treat others exactly as you would like to be treated;
- Doing good deeds, a person experiences complete satisfaction;
- Unfortunately, there are a lot of evil people in our world. If every person does at least one good deed, then evil will be much less;
- If at some point you feel unnecessary, and it seems to you that you are nobody in this life, just do a good deed;
- All the good that you bring to people, even if no one knows about it, will correct your destiny and make you happier.
When is the best time to do good?
Good can be done at any time. The most important thing in this matter is that good intentions come from a pure heart. As mentioned above, you should not expect a return from another person. If you do good out of selfish motives and only to be noticed, believe me - this will not bring you happiness, but your conscience will torment you a lot.
Many people think that good deeds can only be done if you have money, but this is not at all the case. Try right now to start saying pleasant and sincere words to your loved ones. The most important thing here is to know the line between good and flattery. Do not offend people with a thrown word, try to be tactful and do not get angry once again.
Who needs help
Why do we so rarely think about who of those around us needs help? Why is it necessary to do good? There are so many people who need our attention and care. Disabled children, the elderly, people with disabilities, the poor, etc. Of course, no one says that you need to throw yourself at the first grandmother you meet and crush her with your “good pressure”. You can check if you have a charitable foundation or volunteers in your city. You can help in the search for missing people or, for example, take part in amateur performances for veterans.
Naturally, each of us needs good. Why then, for example, not caress your loved one and once again remind him of how he is loved.
Is it necessary to do good deeds towards evil people?
Remember one simple, but such a clear truth: "Kind people should be treated kindly, and evil people should be treated fairly." With this idea, most likely, you can not argue. It is unlikely that if you are hit, you will stand and wait for another hit. Most likely, you will hit back. It is the habit of fighting evil and resisting it. In no case should you repay the person who did evil with his own coin - you need to look for a solution that will not lead to unpleasant consequences and will be peaceful.
Evil always brings discomfort to the human soul. Therefore, justice is important in dealing with evil deeds. Imagine that your colleague hurts you every day at work. He humiliates your human dignity and tries in every possible way to slander you in front of your colleagues. You shouldn't throw your fists at him. He is, in fact, waiting for this. We must treat him fairly. With all your appearance, show that you treat him with disdain and every bad word he says to you refers exclusively to him. Of course, each person has the right to decide how to deal with the offender.
Goodness and indifference
Why do you think kindness and indifference cannot be combined? This, of course, is about good thoughts and deeds that come from the heart, and are not done for the sake of self-interest.
Let's try to figure out what evil is. Every day we see wars, violence and hooliganism on TV. Evil people are not only those who kill, rob and mock other people, but also those who are simply indifferent to other people's grief. People should respond in time to the manifestation of anger and try to resist it in every possible way.
Can you get past the person who asks you for help? It all depends on what your soul is full of - good or evil. A kind person will extend a helping hand, realizing that perhaps this is the only chance for the one asking for salvation, but an evil person will simply pass by.
People do not always understand that they are doing evil. This is because everyone has different concepts of both good and evil.
Try to do good deeds as often as possible and believe that soon your kindness will return to you.
children and kindness
We were all small once. Most of us were brought up in good families, where love for goodness was originally instilled. But there are situations when a child from early youth does not understand what good is, but he knows perfectly well what evil is. For example, dad beats mom all the time. For a child, this situation becomes the norm, and he projects it into his adult life. In fact, you can’t blame him for this, because no one told him that it was bad. In order for a person to grow up kind and sympathetic to the pain of others, good thoughts must be laid in him as early as childhood. Otherwise, evil character traits simply will not allow him to do good and good deeds.
People who do good are happy and in most cases they are surrounded by friends and acquaintances who are similar to themselves. It is unlikely that anyone will want to leave such a cozy little world. The desire to leave can come only if evil has been sitting in a person since childhood and does not allow him to develop normally. Once again, we say that goodness should be formed in a person from childhood.
So, in summing up, let's say that kindness is a human manifestation that makes happy not only the person himself, but also all those around him. Good can and should be contagious. By doing good deeds every day, you can be sure that in some situation you will also be helped. Do good, love each other and be happy!
Helpful Hints
"Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are worthy people, but because you are a worthy person."
(Confucius)
9. Leave a good tip and a thank you note for a job well done at a cafe or restaurant you like.
10. Buy food from a street vendor and give that food to a homeless person. You can also buy a bottle of water.
11. Talk to the homeless, hear his story.
12. If you have a friend who has recently gone through a breakup with a loved one, cheer them up and also give them a card with 10, 20 or more things he or she would be proud of.
13. Smile at a woman with a crying baby (usually in such situations, people are unhappy with loud crying).
14. Ask an older person about how he lived when he was your age - do not be lazy and listen to his story.
15. Watch your parents' favorite movie or listen to their favorite songs and say a few nice things about it.
16. Stop by the school any day and thank your favorite teachers for the time they have spent with you.
17. Say hello to strangers in your entrance (elevator).
18. When standing in line at the store, let a person pass with a small amount of food (a bottle of water, for example).
19. If you know a person who once helped you, write to him and ask if he needs help himself.
20. When meeting with old friends, buy some trinket for them just like that.
Do good deeds every day
Some good deeds can be done every day:
21. If the driver is in a difficult situation, help him change a wheel, get out of a busy parking space, etc.
22. When opening the door to the entrance, hold it for a neighbor who is following you.
23. If you see rubbish lying around on the street, pick it up and throw it in the trash.
24. If someone has been unfairly offended, stand up for him. It may even be someone you don't know.
25. Give a small gift (chocolate, for example) to the postman, cleaning lady, conductor, and/or other member of the service staff.
26. While driving, give way to pedestrians and oncoming vehicles.
27. If you have read a magazine or newspaper, leave it on the train, bus or other public transport.
28. Lend change to someone who is in line at the store.
29. On vacation, you can invite tourists to take pictures of them.
Hurry up to do good to people and loved ones. What do we get when we help others? Why do modern people need to sympathize, sympathize and pity? "Do good deeds." But everyone understands this in their own way. What is a true "good deed"? Is it for everyone?
A true good deed is within the power of every person with a living heart. The English have such a proverb, which in Russian sounds like this: Mercy begins at home. Sometimes we look for good deeds on the side, we show warmth and compassion to those whom we see for the first time. And that's not bad.
But still, the definition of the quality of the good done is our attitude towards domestic ones. Sometimes it turns out to be very difficult to constantly do good to those who live side by side with us.
good deeds of people
Why do good to people? The main good deed is to learn how to live at home in such a way that none of the household will have any grief or resentment towards you. This is good. Be like the sun to warm, soften, encourage, inspire everyone.
Having felt the taste for accomplishment, we gradually begin to forget about our bad mood, we become simpler and cleaner, calmer and more joyful. Not to list all the good deeds. Pensioners and the disabled, orphans need help.
Now it is fashionable to do charity work. To truly help people, hundreds and thousands of dollars are not needed at all. The importance of alms is measured not by the amount given, but by the disposition of the giver. You have little, give a little.
Don't give out of zeal, but give from a pure heart. No one can say: "I am poor, and I have nothing to give alms from." You can comfort with a word, so show the one who asks for mercy with a word. You can help with deeds. Money is not the main thing here. You can spend nothing at all, but just help.
Why do people do good
Kindness is a human relationship
Today there is a lack of communication in human relations. Many people lack human attention, a kind word, or just a kind look and smile. So anyone who creates is a true benefactor. He is able to sympathize, sympathize, pity. These feelings are more often inherent in women, they are the true philanthropists.
In our difficult time, the main thing is not to let rudeness lose these wonderful qualities of the soul. Don't let the harshness of everyday life obscure your compassion and good nature.
And why engage in charitable activities, do works of mercy? After all, no one will appreciate it anyway
Mercy works are not done for evaluation, they are done in secret. And if you told all your friends about your help to the orphanage, and wrote about you in three more newspapers - this is not mercy, and help is not from a pure heart, but only an excuse to talk about yourself, to boast.
Such charity has no value in the sight of God. It is based not on love for the poor, who remains somewhere in the shadows, far away, but on love for oneself, on the desire for glory and honor. And often we do not feel anything joyful from such our almsgiving. We do not increase any growth of good in ourselves.
Why do good to people and works of mercy? Everyone answers this question differently for themselves. Some give alms in order to save their life ship, others for their children. Someone submits it to become famous. In general, we should give alms for the sake of the very good, compassionate to each other as to ourselves.
Is it always necessary to give alms to everyone? After all, sometimes you can see that a person asks for another dose of alcohol.
And you do not judge who is worthy and who is not worthy. It may happen that, choosing the most worthy, you will be mistaken. Be mindful of yourself when a poor person in need of help asks you for it.
Find compassionate love in your heart. And whatever the needy asks you, according to your strength, fulfill his request. When you give alms, beware lest you inwardly despise the poor in your heart. Do not forget that in the face of the poor you are giving to the Lord Himself. Therefore, it must be served with love, with respect.
Despite the fact that lately too many beggars have appeared and begging has turned into an unseemly craft. Often quite healthy people beg for help, pretending to call themselves poor, crippled, abandoned.
Thus, they collect alms, which they carelessly spend on their own needs. All this cools the zeal for the cause of charity. However, in order not to be mistaken, it is better to give as far as possible, rather than, having, to refuse. Hurry up to do good to people and loved ones!
Our whole life is thoroughly saturated with communication, and this is wonderful. Friendly support, respect, love coming from other people not only support in difficult life circumstances, but are also an indispensable attribute of success and happiness.
However, in order to maintain good relations with others, it is necessary to follow certain rules of communication. Consider the 8 golden rules of communication.
1. Do not accumulate resentment - it is worth a lot.
You need to learn to forgive. This is not necessary for others, but, first of all, for you. It is not necessary to continue to communicate with the offender.
2. Do not be offended by the children that they do not understand you.
To understand, one must go through the same life path. There is a long distance between you. So it was and so it will be. The problem of fathers and children is an eternal problem.
3. When doing good, do not expect good.
Don't expect others to love you, respect you. Learn to enjoy the fact that you are a giver and do good when there is a call from the soul, and not when you are forced.
“Blessed is he who does not expect anything, because he will never be disappointed” (A. Pop).
4. Don't criticize!
“Criticism is useless because it makes a person defensive and, as a rule, a person seeks to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it offends a sense of self-importance and causes offense ”(D. Carnegie).
5. Don't argue.
You can't prove anything to anyone anyway. Everyone stays on their own. All the same, the other will not be able to understand you, because. he has a different life experience.
“There is only one way in the world to win an argument - this is to evade it” (D. Carnegie).
6. Don't impose your past on others unless you're asked to.
Any imposed action, even love, is aggression.
7. When evaluating the behavior of another person, try to take into account the situation and circumstances.
Our positive image of "I" is largely due to the fact that we can forgive ourselves for inappropriate behavior, referring to an unfavorable situation and circumstances, but we do not forgive another, building his holistic portrait based on a specific situation and circumstances.
8. Don't demand or expect others to be like you.
There are different "kinds" of people with different levels of consciousness and self-awareness. These species differences between people are the same as between different types of animals (ant, elephant, monkey, etc.). But even among people of the same species, there are individual differences. Therefore, one should not be surprised at the difference in thoughts, actions, motives and values. Try to accept people for who they are.
