How to feel like a real woman
Hello dear readers! Agree, confidence helps to achieve success in the planned business. In addition, insecure people are less likely to take on something new out of fear of failure. How to feel confident in any situation? Is it possible to be prepared for everything? Today's article will help you create your recipe for self-confidence.
Let's dig into ourselves a little.
Let's not dig deep. Let's just try to look at ourselves from the outside in two opposite situations. To begin with, let's figure out in what situations you feel confident, calm.
What helps you not to panic, fuss and lose your temper?
Many people feel confident in their professional field. The surgeon operates perfectly and does not experience stress in the operating room (except for extremely difficult situations, of course). The singer will easily sing his favorite songs to the audience, even without being ready. A dog breeder will tell you everything about their favorite breeds and answer almost any question about pet care.
In our field, we feel free. We confidently rely on our knowledge and experience, easily share our thoughts and impressions, and can easily solve any problem related to our work. In fact, a person feels confident when he knows what to do.
So, we move on to the second question that you should ask yourself - in what situations do I get lost and do not know what to do. Try to understand what unbalances you, why you start to fuss, get nervous.
- Maybe an awkward question hurts you?
- Or an inappropriate comment?
- Please help in what you do not understand?
- Rudeness on the street puts you in a dead end?
To be more confident in life, find your strengths and weaknesses. Understand what helps you concentrate, what helps you get to the heart of the problem, and what, on the contrary, distracts and interferes. When you understand these issues, then you can develop your assistants and get rid of interference.
You Can't Be Prepared for Everything
In life, situations often occur that we could not foresee, force majeure, emergencies. Yes, it is impossible to be prepared for any circumstances. Understand it, accept it and relax. You are not a divine being, you are a person who can make mistakes, be unprepared, who can get confused.
Give yourself some freedom. Don't scold for mistakes.
It will not always be stable and comfortable. But it is force majeure that allows you to see how you react in such circumstances, how you behave, what distracts you, what helps. Use it, gain experience, train for further victories.
Emergencies give you the opportunity to test yourself in action. And you can prepare for them. Not to a specific situation, but in general. How does an unforeseen situation affect a person? Fear, panic, fussiness, nervous tension.
First, accept that in such a situation, the first thing you will experience is fear and panic. Caught these feelings and you can calm down.
Secondly, you can find a way out of any situation. Remember that decisions are best made with common sense. Therefore, proceed slowly and judiciously. Give yourself time to find a solution. Over time, you will react and act faster.
Critical thinking
Let's get the concepts straight. By the word critical, we mean thinking that evaluates, analyzes, can question, and draws conclusions from the arguments presented. Criticism is not understood here as a negative judgment or a search for flaws.
At school, to my great regret, they do not teach to think critically, and this is one of the most important things in life - to be able to analyze, question judgments, draw conclusions, and so on. This helps to calmly relate to various situations, helps to easily and naturally look for a solution.
If that's not your forte, don't worry. No matter how old you are now, you can easily learn to think critically. TRIZ (the theory of inventive problem solving) will help you with this. I myself have recently become acquainted with this direction. Don't take the word inventive as something scary.
TRIZ helps to find unusual and non-standard solutions and answers to the most confusing questions. The concept of setting a task is revealed, because often problems begin at the level of a question. How to increase the level of sales, which kindergarten to send the child to, the best way to go shopping - thanks to this technique, you can learn how to quickly and in an original way solve any life tasks.
Add Your Ingredients to the Confidence Recipe
Return to the first point. Your strengths and weaknesses. Make your list of helpers for your confidence. Knowing that you are nervous without a phone in your pocket, always carry it with you. Is it easier for you to be with someone in society than to be alone? Take a friend with you to important events.
Since we are stressed in an unexpected situation, relaxation techniques are the right solution. Breathing techniques help me. Today they are endless. Choose the one that suits you best and use it in a tense moment to come to your senses and calm down.
Develop your vocabulary, oratory, negotiation skills, study. All this will help a lot when interacting with people. Pay attention to your communication skills.
A sense of humor often helps me a lot in unforeseen situations. Especially when you can laugh at yourself. Self-criticism kills criticism. If you can smile when you've done something ridiculous, then the feeling of awkwardness will go away very quickly.
I bring to your attention the book by Dale Carnegie " How to stop worrying and start living". Remember, many problems live only in our head and do not exist in reality.
What drives you crazy? What situation are you nervous about and do not find a place for yourself? What helps you deal with unpredictability? What are your strengths? Do you know how to use them?
If you're stressed, anxious, or depressed, sometimes it's impossible to "become happy" overnight. You can't just tell yourself to have fun and feel better. What to do if you recently went bankrupt or your marriage fell apart? How to trigger the release of endorphins?
There are many small ways to improve your condition. The following eight ideas will help you with this.
1. Compliments to yourself
IF you don't feel comfortable praising yourself for every little success, then this tip is for you. Are you the type of person who constantly hopes that they will receive praise from other people? Believe me, this advice will dispel your illusions.
There really is no point in waiting for someone else to shower you with kind words. Frankly, expecting praise from others is about the same as trying to control the weather. You can't stop the rain with just a wish, and you can't force a person to be nice to you either.
However, you can always praise yourself. Compliments to yourself always sound like you would really like, and they are always appropriate.
For example:
I have amazing skin!
I am so lucky!
I look stunning in this dress!
I am so caring and generous!
I am so smart and unique in my way!
You compliment yourself and experience a surge of endorphins. Try it!
If you find it difficult to praise yourself, take a piece of paper and list your strengths on it. Then read this list with enthusiasm. You need to put feelings into your words so that you believe in them and experience a surge of joy hormones. Reading the list monotonously will not improve your sense of self.
It is the emotions with which you accompany compliments addressed to you that make you feel great.
Exercise
Grab a pen and paper and list your strengths on it. For example, if your sister is a great tennis player and you write stories, you don't need to write about how you can't play tennis. Instead, praise yourself for your writing talent. Perhaps you can quickly memorize the words of songs or the names of people. Write about all your virtues. When you focus on your strengths and compliment yourself, it is impossible to feel anxious and anxious.
2. Listen to your favorite music
Music can cheer you up in a split second. Put on your favorite song and relax for a few minutes. However, choose your music wisely so as not to aggravate the condition. If you're depressed, you'll likely want to listen to lyrical ballads or hard rock as these will suit your mood.
Your goal is to cheer yourself up, so choose music that will help you with this. If you have something not too pleasant to do, like housework, turn on your favorite music to cheer yourself up. Not only will it be easier for you to get things done, but you will experience the benefits of endorphin release.
Turn on your favorite CD. If you can't listen to music right now, put the disc in a visible place and turn it on when you have a minute.
3. Get creative
Do you have a favorite thing that always makes you feel better? It doesn't matter if it's painting, football, shopping or designing shoes - whatever you enjoy doing will benefit you. Try to avoid hobbies such as gambling, drinking and spending too much money - such activities will negatively affect not only your finances but also your health. You don't need an extra reason to stress. Choose something fun and safe for yourself. Play football, meet up with friends or take courses.
4. Laugh and smile a lot
Smiles and sincere laughter contribute to the active release of hormones of joy. But how can you learn to laugh more? The easiest way is to watch comedies. Do not watch news, action films, thrillers. Spend the evening watching a funny movie. Do this daily and you will notice that you will laugh much more often.
Smile when you're not laughing - this will also keep you in a good mood.
You don't even have to look for a reason to smile: scientists have proven that even the act of smiling triggers the release of endorphins. Smile and feel great.
Exercise
Take a break from reading this book and smile for 30 seconds.
5. Practice breathing exercises
Increase your body's oxygen supply with breathing exercises. Breathing exercises effectively fight stress and switch you to the “rest and digest” mode, while not forcing you to change your views on the big and harsh world. Learn how to relax with breathing exercises in Chapter 13 Breathing Beauty.
6. Experience gratitude
It seems that some people have everything - money, fame, good looks, a wonderful house - and still they are unhappy. I could name some famous people who are rich and famous but ruin their lives with drugs and alcohol. Why do people who seem to have everything look miserable? According to Anthony Robbins, an expert on happiness and motivation, this is due to a lack of gratitude. He argues that gratitude enriches a person. If you are ungrateful and focus only on what is not in your life, you begin to distort your life in order to restore joy to it. The most common example is drug addiction, alcoholism and other bad habits.
The fastest way to earn health problems, bad skin, and poor performance is to focus on what isn't in your life. This position forces you to make the wrong decisions. If you direct the spotlight on problems, negative emotions are amplified and common sense is clouded. Of course, it is better not to ignore the problem, but you need to think about its solution, and not wind yourself up. If you can't change the situation, learn from it for the future and move on.
When you start thinking about the things you are grateful for having in your life, your positive emotions increase. In this case, you no longer want to eat fast food or drink, but start exercising and go to bed on time. It's not easy, but it can be a great start to your path to a healthy and happy life. It is impossible to be pessimistic when you focus on the good and say a sincere "thank you". It may only last a minute, but this minute will be beautiful.
Experience gratitude for at least a few minutes a day.
Let's move on to practice
Grab a diary and set yourself up to be grateful for five minutes a day. In fact, you can write down ten things you are grateful for right now. To help you get started, answer the following questions:
Are you thankful that your house is warm and dry when it rains?
Are you grateful that you have loved ones? What exactly do you value in them?
Are you grateful that you have a computer?
Now emotionally read what you wrote (as if you really mean it), and you will instantly feel a surge of endorphins.
For example:
I am so grateful for a roof over my head and a beautiful house.
I am so lucky to enjoy delicious food.
I am loved).
I have a wonderful family and I appreciate everything that my loved ones do. My mother is so kind and caring, my father loves me, and my sister is like a ray of sunshine.
You don't have to be grateful for what actually happened. You can cheer yourself up by imagining that your cherished dream has already come true. Have fun!
7. Watch the beautiful
How do YOU feel when you see an unusual sunset, a colorful painting, or something that you consider beautiful? You feel good. You can't control it, as beauty causes a surge of endorphins.
However, if you see something beautiful and then criticize it, endorphins are not produced. For example, in the case when a beautiful woman (or man) enters the room and you begin to feel envy or jealousy. You will immediately begin to experience tension or discomfort, and your body will begin to produce stress hormones intensively. You can call it fear, envy or an inferiority complex, but the result will be the same - inner unrest. Envy is the fastest way to ruin your health and lower your self-esteem.
If you want to feel good, don't deny the beauty and positive energy you get from it. Whether it's a beautiful person, a book, a picture, a view or any trinket, just watch him/her and be glad that there is so much beauty in the world. When you look at something beautiful and appreciate it, you feel joy. For more information on this subject, see Chapter 20, How to Be Beautiful.
8. Release the anger!
Anxiety occurs when you feel helpless OR out of control. To feel your power again, release your anger. It is best to do this when you are alone at home. Stand up straight, stomp your foot, and say to yourself, "I deserve more!" Take a firm look at the sky and imagine yourself shouting, “I deserve a raise!” or “I deserve love and respect!” A good anger release can stop an anxiety attack, simply because it feels good to talk about what you want. Say it confidently and you will feel much better.
Can you relax and make peace with your heat?
Of course, it is impossible to always feel great, but sometimes it is very nice to enjoy the release of endorphins. The above eight ways to improve your well-being are really effective. Their effectiveness is scientifically proven, but do you need scientists to believe in the ability of your favorite music and sincere gratitude to improve your mood? In pleasant moments, you feel a rush of endorphins and you can’t deny it. You may not say, “Oh, that rush of endorphins was so nice!”, but nevertheless it happens and brings invaluable benefits to the body.
Key Points
Relaxation promotes good digestion and a good night's sleep.
A person who does not neglect rest is more likely to have beautiful skin.
A little short-term stress is not dangerous. On the contrary, it can become a signal for action.
Chronic, prolonged stress leads to serious illnesses.
You can reduce stress and negative emotions in an instant.
If you find time to relax, then you love and respect yourself. Compliment yourself frequently (others don't need to know about it, say nice words to yourself with enthusiasm).
Listen to your favorite music. Make sure it lifts your spirits and helps you relax.
Engage in your favorite hobby at least once a week.
Laugh and smile a lot. Watch comedies or positive programs.
Do breathing exercises. Be grateful for everything you have. It helps to feel amazing, albeit for a short time.
Learn to appreciate beauty, not resist it.
To unwind after a busy day, take a warm bath.
There are women who, at first glance, have everything “as it should be”: husband, children, prosperity, health. It would seem, live and rejoice. But for some reason there is no happiness in their lives. They feel miserable for years and eventually lose the ability to enjoy life.
In my opinion, the whole point is that being happy is much more difficult than being unhappy. Complaining, grieving, crying and analyzing repeated mistakes - all this is easy, habitual. But to work hard and appreciate the world around and its gifts - this requires more strength, more attention and energy. In order to be filled with energy, it is necessary to spend internal forces. This is not an easy spiritual and spiritual work.
Where is your energy focused?
When you waste yourself on feeding resentments, on maintaining failed relationships, on “grinding” personal complaints, then the remnants of energy life-giving moisture flow into the abyss of regrets and disappointments. To determine where your energy is right now, do a little practice. First read, then close your eyes and walk through the body.
"What do you feel? What do you think? What worries you? What do you want? What are you dreaming about? Focus on yourself. Bring your attention to the center of your forehead. What do you feel? Is it easy for you to go? Where is this center taking you? Bring your attention to your solar plexus. Go where this center leads. Now move to the abdomen. What do you feel when attention is focused on the stomach? Is it easy for you? Are there any sensations: heaviness or, conversely, lightness? Now transfer yourself a little lower, to where the feminine energy is born, into your womb. What do you feel? Where is the mother taking you? What does she want? What is he dreaming about? Rise higher, into the region of the heart, into the region of the heart chakra. What do you feel? Where is your heart taking you? How often do you live with your heart? When was the last time you listened to him? Is it open or padlocked? Remember what happened to you visiting each center of attention. What was this journey like for you? Now, inhale and as you exhale, open your eyes.
What blocks the work of energy centers?
Why do we become unhappy, what blocks our vital resources and how? Where to find the source of happiness, joy and love?
Chakras are energy centers that are responsible for certain areas of our lives. Below is a list of what blocks the work of the chakras.
1 chakra - the center responsible for vitality, connection with the earth, family. Block fears (fear of death, illness, loneliness, relationships).
2 chakra - the center responsible for the ability to enjoy, creativity. Block shame, guilt for pleasure, casual, promiscuous relationships.
3 chakra - the center responsible for social success, well-being. They block unfinished business, unfulfilled promises, anger, disappointment, disorder at all levels (in the house, in relationships), an unhealthy lifestyle (violation of sleep patterns, nutrition).
4 chakra - the center responsible for emotionality, the ability to trust, love. They block resentment (on themselves, parents, men, on the world), the desire for revenge, emotional dependence (on people, relationships).
5 chakra - the center responsible for creative self-expression, respect. Blocks lies (to oneself and others), dependence on other people's opinions.
6 chakra - the center responsible for vision. They block illusions, other people's attitudes, mechanical thoughts (internal dialogue).
7 chakra - the center responsible for communication with the Universe, the Creator. Sorrow, strong earthly attachments (to people, property), lack of faith in the Creator block.
At the training “Nature of Femininity”, with the help of a pendulum, you will be able to diagnose energy centers and understand how open they are in you and what type of energy moves in them (male or female).
How to open energy centers?
How to unblock your chakras? How to run clean energy through the body again?
We advise you to regularly, at least once a month, perform special body-energy practices, such as Chakra Breathing, Beyond Dimensions, Heart Opening, Orgasm Reflex, Everest. And do not forget, of course, about individual therapy, self-education.
For example, to strengthen the third energy center, the Manipura chakra, you should make a list of your unfinished business. Highlight items that are no longer relevant. And for urgent cases, set a deadline for their implementation.
Happiness is an abstract thing. For everyone, it lies in its own way, but in order to feel and feel it, it is necessary to have inner fullness, readiness to receive and gladly give. At the training "The Nature of Femininity" you will awaken naturalness, tenderness, lightness in yourself, learn to let go of the unnecessary and put things in order in your life. During the two-day training, you will work through the blocks and restore harmony in the soul and body.
Turn on your favorite music and remember the incendiary steps. Physical activity leads to the production of the hormone of joy endorphin, and pleasant melodies improve mood.
2. Go to bed
Sleep deprivation increases stress and sleep stress level, and you can consider a completely normal day to be a failure. Get enough sleep, and life will sparkle with new colors. After all, we still remember from fairy tales that the morning is wiser than the evening.
3. Meditate, breathe deeply
Slow inhalations and exhalations normalize pressure and relax the body.
4. Draw your bad mood on paper
And tear the paper into small pieces. If you have no artistic talent, write about failures, and then destroy the piece of paper in the same way.
5. Wear your best outfit
If you're a woman, put on a bright make-up as well. A great look will cheer you up.
6. Post a good selfie
Likes and compliments will make you smile and feel better.
7. Cry
Tears relieve psychological stress. If you don’t feel like crying at all, sad and touching films will come to the rescue. For example, "Hachiko" and "Armageddon" have established themselves as films that are able to draw a mean tear from the most brutal representatives of mankind.
8. Give someone a compliment
By raising the mood of another person, you will feel better too.
9. Compliment yourself
Surely you have something to commend yourself for. At the same time, remember that a bad day does not negate all your achievements.
10. Take a bath
Add foam, essential oils, and possibly rubber ducks to it. Light the candles, turn on the music. Hot water will help you relax and relieve stress after a hard day.
11. Laugh
Sitcoms and funny picture compilations can revive your mood, as laughter stimulates the production of endorphins.
12. Sing like no one is listening.
A karaoke bar and your own apartment will do. Singing in a group will be especially effective. Research shows that it provokes The Neuroscience of Singing release of endorphins and oxytocin, which reduce anxiety.
If you don't have a cat or dog, you can visit a friend who has one. Interaction with animals reduces the level of stress and aggression, relaxes. Scientists link Psychosocial and Psychophysiological Effects of Human-Animal Interactions: The Possible Role of Oxytocin This is with the production of oxytocin.
It works in much the same way as contact with a real cat.
15. Have sex or masturbate
Orgasm is an easy way to experience pleasure and relax.
16. Go for a run or exercise
Physical activity makes you happier by increasing the production of endorphins.
Familiar footage will return the atmosphere of carelessness and comfort.
Sometimes it’s easier to go to work with a temperature than in a bad mood. Allow yourself to cancel your planned activities and devote time to enjoyable activities.
19. Do something you are guaranteed to excel at.
Maybe you're a great cook or lifting a barbell that weighs four times your weight. Engage in activities that will make you happy.
20. Overcome fear
Decide on an activity that scares you. The release of adrenaline into the blood will bring a surge of vigor and help to feel the clarity of mind.
21. Read a book
Immersion in the world of literature removes Reading ‘can help reduce stress’ stress, reduces muscle tension and distracts from the harsh reality.
22. Call someone to support you.
Words of sympathy will give you courage and return the lost good mood.
Take a look at your favorite cafe, go to an exhibition or a performance that you have been going to for a long time.
24. Make a list of reasons to be happy
Even if the list does not bring you back to a good mood, it will remind you that in general life is not a bad thing.
25. Remember that troubles pass
The statement about the life-zebra has set the teeth on edge, but it has not become less true. Behind the black stripe there will definitely be a white one.
Incredible Facts
It's no secret that many of us suffer from low self-esteem.
And even the most beautiful woman can sometimes feel like an ugly ugly woman. How to raise your own self-esteem and learn to love yourself more?
Here are 10 tips from a psychologist on how to feel attractive and beautiful and learn how to live happily:
How to boost self-esteem and self-confidence
1. Forget beauty standards
Throw away your traditional ideals of beauty imposed on us by glossy magazines and the media. You can't change society's definition of beauty, but you can change how you feel about it.
Do not focus on the beauty that advertising or Hollywood films dictate to us. All this is nothing more than a picture and a good work of Photoshop, as well as a whole team of stylists and makeup artists.
Instead, try to see the beauty that you see in the real people around you and admire you.
2. Focus on your inner content
Describe yourself not only in terms of how you look, but also in terms of your inner content and spiritual qualities.
Focus on your inner qualities, not your outer ones.
Focus on what you like about your abilities, personality, attitude, and outlook on the world. Highlight your strengths when shaping you as a person.
All these characteristics almost invariably improve and develop over time, while physical beauty tends to fade and deteriorate over time.
3. Don't give in to stress
Do not worry when you feel that something is wrong with your appearance. The anxiety and stress you feel about the way you look can take a real toll on your facial beauty.
Remember that all your inner experiences tend to be reflected in your face. They tend to worsen the appearance without contributing to its youth and attractiveness. It is stress that destroys and kills beauty.
4. Smile more often
A smile is the first thing people notice when they first meet.
It sounds trite, but people love those people who smile, not those who walk around with disgruntled or suffering mines. People around reach out to those who smile and have a positive attitude towards life, no matter what happens around.
In addition, according to the feedback theory, a simple smile can really improve your mood and change your attitude towards life in a positive way.
5. Give up makeup at least for a while
If you cannot live without makeup, it is very difficult psychologically to give it up.
But this must be done. Try a day or two without makeup. This simple step will help you discover what you really look like without a layer of plaster.
In addition, this will allow your skin to breathe freely, which will improve its condition and benefit the overall condition of the face.
6. Choose comfortable clothes
Give preference not only to beautiful, but also comfortable clothes.
No wonder they say that they are greeted by clothes. The way you look can tell a lot about your inner state. When choosing clothes, remember that your style should reflect you from the inside.
However, in pursuit of fashion and your own style, do not forget about convenience. Whether it's a suit, dress or jeans, they should be comfortable so that nothing hinders your movement.
And choosing beautiful clothes, you will feel more confident and attractive.
How to love yourself more
7. Take a break from the mirror
Take a break from the mirrors. This does not mean that you need to break or throw out all the mirrors in your home. Just give yourself a little break during which you will not look into the mirror every 5 minutes.
Try not to look at yourself in the rear-view mirrors of cars or linger at glass shop windows.
Pass by the mirrors without stopping at them. Instead, focus on how you feel on the inside.
Without parting with a mirror, you will not improve your appearance in any way. Basically, it's a waste of time and effort.
8. Focus on being healthy
Pay attention to how you feel, not how you look.
Remember that the figure and face are a reflection of your health. The state in which they are, speaks of how healthy you are. And the general condition of your appearance depends on how healthy you are.
Take care to bring your body in perfect order. Start leading an active lifestyle, go in for sports. Make it a habit to eat exclusively healthy and wholesome food, give up unhealthy foods.
Eat more vegetables, fruits, greens. What you eat will be reflected on your face and deposited on your figure. Healthy and good food will only improve the external condition, while fast food will destroy you both from the outside and from the inside.
9. Ask friends about how you look
Sometimes we tend to underestimate ourselves. Why, "sometimes", let's face it: very often we belittle our real merits.
You may think your nose is huge and your freckles are a total disaster, but to those who love you, your "flaws" may seem like the most pleasant feature, the so-called highlights.
If you feel that today you "look funny" or you "recovered pretty well", ask your loved ones about it. To your surprise, they may, on the contrary, praise you, encouraging you that you don’t need any makeup, you are already beautiful and attractive.
Often our relatives and friends are those people who increase our own self-esteem. Indeed, for those to whom we are dear, we always seem beautiful, attractive, for them we are always the best.
10. Learn to take age for granted
Learn to accept your age and treat it with respect. Aging is an inevitable physical process that also has its benefits.
Stop comparing yourself to younger people. Constantly comparing yourself to someone, you exhaust yourself from the inside, which adversely affects your appearance.
Any comparison always detracts from a person's self-esteem. Constantly comparing yourself to Hollywood stars or figures of domestic show business who are your peers, you may come to the conclusion that they look much better than you.
Such awareness can lead to disappointment and even depression. Unfortunately, most of us cannot afford the luxurious and expensive facials and spas, much less the plastic surgeries that rich people can afford.
However, this is not a reason to be upset. You are getting older, which means you are wiser. You learn to love and accept yourself as you are, without unnecessary tinsel and pathos.
