The meaning of "etiquette. Etiquette: etiquette and social manners

Definition- a set of rules of conduct that relate to the external manifestation of attitudes towards people.

The history of etiquette in a distant kingdom

One king had a very ill-bred son, Frederick. The boy had a good heart, he did not do bad things, but simply did not think about others.

One day, the neighboring king invited the king and the prince to a ball that was in honor of the princess.
- What to do, my son is so badly brought up that no princess will choose him!

Convoked the best good manners teachers for them to teach the prince. He really wanted to please the neighboring king, but he could not remember so many rules. Finally, he became capricious and said that he was refusing this study.

There were three days left. The ministers advised the king to seek help from an old wise man. The sage agreed to teach the prince good manners in one hour.

To be not only good, but even educated, consider that everyone else is better than you, and therefore love and respect everyone. If you think first about others, and then about yourself, then you will not do anything bad or unpleasant. And all the rules of conduct will be fulfilled by themselves.
- How can I think that a hunchbacked dwarf or a nasty footman is better than me?
- And you imagine that the dwarf is not a dwarf, but an enchanted prince. The main thing is never deviate from this rule. If you remember him, you will be able to remove witchcraft from both the jester and yourself.
In search of the dwarf, Frederick managed to open the door and let the minister go ahead, pick up the handkerchief for the lady of the court, and ask the courtiers for forgiveness for loud singing. Having met the jester, the young man affectionately greeted him. The dwarf decided that the prince was laughing at him as usual, and therefore began to grimace, grimace.
- I'm sorry. I am very ashamed of the way I treated you,” said the prince.
The dwarf's eyes changed and Fryderyk saw a completely different person. They soon became devoted friends.

And here is the long-awaited ball. All the queens were kind and friendly.
But when the king asked Princess Ilsa who was the best, she exclaimed:
- Of course, Prince Friedrich! He is so kind and well-mannered that it is impossible not to fall in love with him.
This tale is the best way to show us what ETIQUETLE is..

Etiquette in fairy tales

This Giovannino, in his travels, once came to the country of straw people. They flared up not only from fire, but even from a hot word. The inhabitants of the country of wax people were soft, supple, agreed with everything.

And the Glass People were so fragile that they could die from a careless touch.

We perfectly understand the allegorical meaning of the tale. You don't have to travel to meet people like that. Each of us has acquaintances who can flare up, flare up from one word, there are comrades who agree with you in everything or, on the contrary, are always ready to argue.

We met with people who are offended by trifles, with guys who are self-satisfied and boastful.

Among our friends, probably, there are calm, balanced and impatient, unrestrained. We communicate, learn and play together, demand and ask, quarrel and make peace.

Understanding all this is not so easy. Let's try to figure this out together.

Etiquette in the Bible

Respect and think of others- here the main rule of politeness and good breeding.
This is also mentioned in Holy Scripture: "Love thy neighbour…".

We study, go to theaters, go in for sports, attend concerts, exhibitions, museum lectures, go on a visit. Each of us has dozens of contacts with other people in just one day - at school, in the store, on the bus, in the library.

Contact- touching a person. It can be 5 lessons at the same desk with a friend, a minute conversation during a break, a look that you exchanged with the teacher.

And every time the mood, well-being, performance of people largely depend on friendly whether they were benevolent or irritable and rude, whether they have found the right course of action. It is very important to find the right line of conduct. After all, people are all different.

Etiquette in verse

What is ETIQUET -
We should know from childhood.
These are the rules of conduct:
How to go on a birthday?
How to meet?
As it is?
How to call?
How to get up?
How to sit?
How to say hello to an adult?
There are many different questions.
And he answers them
This is the same etiquette.

Recently, on every corner you can hear the already slightly boring word "etiquette".

Adults say that you definitely need to know what it is, what it is eaten with, and you are probably much more interested in chatting with your girlfriends, going to a disco or listening to your favorite music.

Do not think that in everyday life etiquette is a useless thing, because if you do not want to get into an awkward situation, then you will certainly have to adhere to certain rules of conduct.

Suppose you are going to sunbathe, but there are no places on the beach. What to do in this case?

How to behave if someone knocked you down on the rink and did not even apologize. What is it: politeness or its complete absence?

First of all, remember: etiquette is a certain set of rules of conduct.

Imagine a huge building where each floor is reserved for a special kind of communication. On each floor, information is placed in rooms to make it easier to understand.

Each room has shelves, like in a library, on which books are placed containing the answer to any question related to communication and behavior.

We can say: etiquette is a science that contains all the rules that we use in everyday life.

It includes many sections; for example, you can learn how to behave at the table, in transport, at school or in a store, because even there you can’t do without rules.

If in the store you politely address the seller: “Please give me a loaf and a cake,” then you are fully aware of the rules of etiquette.

But how would you like an answer that contradicts them, for example: “Wait! Can't you see I'm talking? You probably won't visit this store again.

Having mastered the rules of etiquette, you will learn how to dress properly, behave at the table, meet and maintain a conversation with strangers, adults and peers.

You think that no one needs it, but you already know how to behave with your mother or friends. But this is a delusion: you need to know and apply the rules of etiquette always and everywhere.

Believe me, he is fraught with many wonderful discoveries and mysteries that we will try to reveal to you.

Let's remember a little the history of the development of etiquette itself. This word came to us from medieval France. Louis XIV outlined the rules of communication for them. Translated into Russian, "etikuette" means "label".

Since ancient times, human behavior at home and in society has been determined by a number of rules. True, at that time there were not so many of them.

For example, a woman did not have the right to pick up her husband's club or enter the cave before him.

In a later period, people improved these rules and introduced many others.

Man has evolved, and along with it, new forms of behavior have appeared.

With the emergence of speech and the formation of languages, specific ways of communication began to be distinguished, peculiar only to a given people and corresponding to its customs.

In all eras, the upbringing of respect for the older generation has been unchanged.

In prehistoric times, children were required to respect the elders and leaders of the clan, to obey their parents.

As you can see, not much has changed since then: you also respect your parents (at least you should), school teachers and, in general, all adults.

Rules of conduct at the table did not exist then; however, there were no tables yet.

The oldest people ate right on the ground, sitting by the fire. But it was customary to give the best pieces to those who distinguished themselves in hunting, and to the oldest, which indicates that the ancestors had a certain etiquette, however, in its most primitive form.

❧ Are your acquaintances sometimes rude and annoy you with their wild manners?

Don't worry, in medieval Europe this was not so rare.

The ancient tribes of the Vikings inhabited the territory of the Scandinavian countries and were particularly ill-mannered among their brethren.

Perhaps one of them was embodied in your friend Vasya or your neighbor Sveta?

In those distant times, tables already existed, and the Vikings, returning from hunting or another raid on the neighboring territory, arranged a grand feast.

Servants brought whole boars or even deer roasted on a spit on huge wooden dishes.

The Vikings took out huge knives from their bosoms and attacked the food with particular greed: everyone tried to grab a bigger and tastier piece for themselves, not paying any attention to their neighbor, even if he was older. Well, no respect, complete lack of education! Who did not have time, he was late!

❧ Perhaps you are interested to know how women behaved in those ancient times? Could they, like you now, go to a disco or a movie?

Alas, women had no such rights. Do you think it's a shame not to be able to freely go outside and chat with your friends?

We agree with you, but at that time, perhaps, it was necessary, because internecine wars and strife were not uncommon, and battles could take place right on the main square of the city.

It is good that in the house the women had their own rooms where they could meet with their neighbors or do needlework.

But women did not have the right to enter the male half of the house without the special permission of their father or spouse.

Subsequently, the representatives of the weaker sex were given greater freedom, but they never achieved equality in rights with men.

But it was customary to dedicate poems to the fair sex, give flowers, erect buildings in their honor and perform feats, call them the names of cities and ships.

The whole world began to revolve around the cult of the Beautiful Lady. Here's where to go! But the outfits at that time were very, very uncomfortable, not like the current jeans.

❧ Ladies had to suffer from too tight outfits, but as they say, beauty requires sacrifice. So women had to walk around castles all day in corsets and an incredible amount of skirts and petticoats. One dress of an average lady weighed up to twenty kilograms (and this is without a whalebone!). Here's a good opportunity to keep your figure!

But this is not the most perfect model of society, so we will continue our journey and turn to times closer and more familiar.

Europe gradually introduced certain rules of conduct. But in the Middle Ages, etiquette existed only for those who, in the opinion of society, were worthy of it. A commoner could not count on learning this science.

An abyss appeared between people: the richer a person was, the more courtesy he demanded of himself.

Remember the films about those times: not a single visit was complete without hundreds of squats in curtseys and bows with constant waving of hats with feathers.

Every movement said something to your interlocutor. In the Middle Ages, etiquette began to be divided into two parts: speech and gesture.

If the first was more or less clear, then the second science was more complicated.

Imagine that your future will depend on how you look at the interlocutor or what gesture you accompany with a compliment.

How easy it is to communicate in our time: you can just shake your hand at a meeting or say hello verbally, ask about life and business, and after listening to the answer, throw a couple more phrases on the go and move on.

Yes, in this age you don't have to wave your hats for half an hour just to be considered a well-mannered person.

In the Middle Ages, people invented gloves. Immediately appeared and the rules of etiquette associated with them. We still take off our gloves when we greet each other, only because during hostilities, kings, when they met for negotiations, took off their gloves, thus demonstrating friendly intentions.

Nowadays, if a boss greets a subordinate or an adult with a young enough person, then the first one can remain in the glove, but the second one is simply obliged to remove it from his hand.

Women have always been in a privileged position, so you don't have to take off your gloves.

Greeting, men from time immemorial lifted the edge of the hat or took it off altogether, in some cases it was only possible to touch the brim - and this was quite enough to greet the person.

❧ Women, on the other hand, did not touch their headdresses, it was always considered bad manners. Over time, a split occurred in the councils of beautiful ladies: some remained secular lionesses, others rushed to conquer the new world along with the stronger sex.

It was then that business etiquette appeared, which helped to build and maintain relationships in the service.

But some things still remain unchanged. For example, the rules of conduct in society. Do you know why a lady is usually on the left side of her partner?

❧ This tradition is also rooted in history. When male knights accompanied their ladies, all sorts of obstacles could stand in their way. But initially it was assumed that a strong man is a defender of the weaker sex, so the knight's right hand should always be free to repel any blow.

We are used to the fact that women are always let in front: in transport, at the doors of institutions.

Then why does the lady have to go up the stairs from behind?

We note right away that there is no contradiction here, but there is a story: once upon a time, people lived in huge castles with tangled narrow stairs, walking along which was creepy even during the day (there was no electricity then).

So the man had to go ahead with a candle and light up the dark stairs, scaring away not only bats, but also ghosts. And also...

The ladies were dressed in chic outfits,

So you won't get close or near.

And so that the lady does not step on the outfit,

Men began to walk forward proudly.

But a man still has many other privileges and "joys" of etiquette, for example, he may well help a lady down the stairs.

You will probably also be very pleased if even a complete stranger helps you get off the bus or climb on the footboard of the tram.

Every day you put a clean handkerchief in your pocket, take gloves with you in winter and don’t even think about the fact that these items used to be an integral part of etiquette: things could introduce people or turn them into bitter enemies.

Proud (mind you, and very smart!) ladies "accidentally" dropped cambric handkerchiefs in the presence of gentlemen.

Men immediately rushed to the aid of the lady (in fact, she herself could not squat in such a chic outfit!).

As a result, pleasant acquaintances took place. Seeing off the next campaign of the knights, the ladies waved them handkerchiefs from the walls of their towers, wishing them good luck on a long journey.

With a glove, everything was much more serious. If some rude man spoke a bad word to the lady, then the gentleman immediately stood up for his companion.

As you might have guessed, this was done just with the help of a glove that was thrown on the floor in front of the offender.

Moreover, if the glove fell to the left of the troublemaker, then the men had to fight with swords, if on the right, then with pistols.

You are probably very lucky, because in order to become a well-mannered person in our time, you do not need to learn so many subtleties associated with gloves and hats, which means there are fewer difficulties!

Although not everything is so simple in all countries, and if you are going to travel with your parents, you will have to learn a little about the peculiarities of etiquette in other countries.

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In fact, the basics of etiquette are quite simple. This is a culture of speech, elementary politeness, a neat appearance and the ability to manage one's emotions.

website presents you a selection of current rules for today that every self-respecting person and others should know.

• If you say the phrase: "I invite you," it means you pay. Another wording: "Let's go to a restaurant" - in this case, everyone pays for himself, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, she can agree.
• Never visit without calling. If you are visited unannounced, you can afford to be in a dressing gown and curlers. One British lady said that when intruders appeared, she always put on shoes, a hat and took an umbrella. If a person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!”. If unpleasant: "Oh, what a pity, I have to leave."
• Do not place your smartphone on a table in public places. In doing so, you show how important the communication device is in your life and how much you are not interested in annoying chatter going on nearby. At any moment, you are ready to leave useless conversations and once again check the feed on Instagram, answer an important call or get distracted to find out what fifteen new levels have come to Angry Birds.

• You should not invite a girl on a date and communicate with her through SMS messages.
• A man never carries a woman's bag. And he takes a woman's coat only to carry it to the locker room.
• If you are walking with someone and your companion says hello to a stranger, you should also say hello.
• Many people think that sushi can only be eaten with chopsticks. However, this is not entirely correct. Men, unlike women, can eat sushi with their hands.
• Shoes should ALWAYS be clean.
• Do not talk on the phone with empty chatter. If you're in need of a heart-to-heart conversation, it's best to meet with a friend face to face.
• If you have been insulted, you should not respond with similar rudeness, and, moreover, raise your voice to the person who insulted you. Don't stoop to his level. Smile and politely move away from the ill-mannered interlocutor.
• On the street, a man should walk to the left of the lady. On the right, only military personnel can go, who must be ready to perform a military salute.
• Drivers should remember that cold-bloodedly spraying passers-by with mud is flagrant incivility.
• A woman may keep her hat and gloves on indoors, but not her hat and mittens.
• Nine things should be kept secret: age, wealth, a gap in the house, prayer, the composition of the medicine, a love affair, a gift, honor and dishonor.

• Having come to the cinema, theater, to a concert, you should only go to your seats facing those who are sitting. The man goes first.
• A man always enters the restaurant first, the main reason is that on this basis the head waiter has the right to draw conclusions about who is the initiator of coming to the institution and who will pay. In the case of the arrival of a large company - enters first and pays the one from whom the invitation to the restaurant came. But if a porter meets visitors at the entrance, then the man must let the first woman through. After that, the gentleman finds free places.
• You should never touch a woman unwillingly, take her hand, touch her during a conversation, push her or take her hand above the elbow, except when you help her get into or out of a vehicle, or cross the street .
• If someone calls you impolitely (for example: “Hey, you!”), You should not respond to this call. However, there is no need to lecture, educate others during a short meeting. It is better to teach an etiquette lesson by your own example.
• The golden rule when using perfume is moderation. If by the evening you smell your perfume, know that everyone else has already suffocated.
• A well-bred man will NEVER allow himself not to show due respect to a woman.
• In the presence of a woman, men smoke only with her permission.
• Whoever you are - a director, an academician, an elderly woman or a schoolboy - when you enter the room, say hello first.
• Keep correspondence confidential. Parents should not read letters intended for their children. Spouses should do the same with each other. Anyone who rummages through the pockets of loved ones in search of notes or letters is doing extremely ugly.
• Don't try to keep up with fashion. It is better to look not fashionable, but good, than fashionable and bad.

• If after an apology you are forgiven - you should not return to the offensive question again and ask for forgiveness again, just do not repeat such mistakes.
• Laughing too loudly, talking noisily, staring at people intently is offensive.
• Do not forget to thank loved ones, relatives and friends. Their good deeds and willingness to offer their help is not an obligation, but an expression of feelings worthy of gratitude.

And finally, here are the words of the legendary American actor Jack Nicholson:

“I am very sensitive to the rules of good manners. How to pass a plate. Do not shout from one room to another. Do not open a closed door without knocking. Let the lady go ahead. The purpose of all these countless simple rules is to make life better. We cannot live in a state of chronic war with our parents - this is stupid. I am careful about my manners. It's not some kind of abstraction. It is a language of mutual respect that everyone understands.”

Story

It is traditionally considered that England and France are the founders of etiquette, but the way of life in these countries at that time was such that in these cruel and rude conditions a person could not improve in his spiritual and moral endeavors. Certain moral rules and manners of behavior originated around the 14th century in Italy, where already at that time the social essence and culture of the individual began to take one of the first places. In Russia, one of the first sets of rules of conduct is considered " domostroy" (XVI century).

Types of etiquette

Etiquette can differ significantly in different conditions, depending on the specific era and cultural environment. It can also be conditionally divided into situational and professional, secular and business, although it is often impossible to draw clear boundaries between them, since the rules of various sections of etiquette are repeated, include the rules of other sections (sometimes slightly modified), and proceed from the basic norms of behavior.

see also

Notes

Literature

• Bayburin A. K., Toporkov A. L. At the origins of etiquette: Ethnographic essays / Ed. ed. dr ist. Sciences B. N. Putilov; Reviewers: Cand. philol. Sciences N. B. Vakhtin, Dr. ist. Sciences A. D. Dryzo; USSR Academy of Sciences. - L.: Science. Leningrad. department, 1990. - 168 p. - (From the history of world culture). - 50,000 copies. - ISBN 5-02-027259-0(reg.)

Links

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See what "Etiquette" is in other dictionaries:

ETIQUETTE- (fr.). 1) rules and forms of address at court, in the highest circle, etc. 2) a piece of paper with the designation of the company, price, product name, etc., pasted on the product. Dictionary of foreign words included in the Russian language. Chudinov A.N., 1910. ETIQUETTE 1) ... Dictionary of foreign words of the Russian language

ETIQUETTE- Etiquette, etiquette, husband. (French étiquette). 1. only units The established procedure for the manner of action, behavior, forms of treatment (in high society, at court, etc.). Observe etiquette. Court etiquette. “As for how to behave, keep the tone, ... ... Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov

Etiquette- Education * Greatness * Genius * Common sense * Ideal * Manners * Opinion * Morality * Help * Deed * Habit * Reputation * Advice * Mystery * Talent * Character ... Consolidated encyclopedia of aphorisms

etiquette- See decency... Dictionary of Russian synonyms and expressions similar in meaning. under. ed. N. Abramova, M .: Russian dictionaries, 1999. etiquette, sign, decency; politeness, decency, bonton, decency Dictionary of Russian synonyms ... Synonym dictionary

etiquette- Appetite, jackboot, galvanism, hood, flirt, chest of drawers, fashion, public, role, roulette, symmetry, stage, toilet, shandal, screen, selfishness, crew, etiquette. If we leave aside card argotism, then words borrowed from foreign languages ​​in ... History of words

ETIQUETTE- male, French rank, order, secular custom of external rites and decency; accepted, conditional, breaking politeness; ceremonial; outward certitude. tny, related to this, to observe etiquette with importance and perseverance, as if it were a matter of business. Explanatory ... ... Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary

ETIQUETTE- (from French étiquette). A system of requirements established in a particular culture for human behavior in various situations. In language classes, speech etiquette is studied as a set of rules of speech behavior that are implemented with ... ... A new dictionary of methodological terms and concepts (theory and practice of teaching languages)

Etiquette- traditionally accepted rules of conduct.

A modern person regularly encounters various acute and complex life situations that require an instant, and most importantly, the right reaction. Family, social, business, economic, political relations depend on the knowledge of generally accepted norms of behavior. If a person does not know how to behave properly, out of ignorance or intentionally, his business reputation suffers, family life is bursting at the seams.

Etiquette is a regulation of behavior that affects different areas of human relationships.(communication, clothing culture, national traditions, business ties).

What it is?

Etiquette as a historical phenomenon unites the ethical and aesthetic aspects of our existence.

Even under the primitive communal system, specific norms of behavior for each group of the community began to be developed: men were engaged in obtaining food and protecting themselves from enemies, women took care of the fire and raised children, the elders passed on knowledge and accumulated new ones. The oldest code of conduct can be called the Chinese "Book of Historical Traditions", which tells about the basic human qualities: courage, loyalty, wisdom, philanthropy, reverence for elders.

Centuries passed, new customs arose, mores changed. All this merged into a single concept of "etiquette". There are many different definitions of this concept. The most common says that etiquette is a set of rules of conduct in society.

It is interesting that for many "ethics" and "etiquette" concepts are identical. In general, this is true, the meanings of words are closely related. However, the word "etiquette" (etiquette) is of French origin, and "ethics" (ethika from ethos - habit, disposition) is of Greek origin. "Etiquette" is translated as "note, label". In France, this word denoted a note - a protocol of ceremonial actions.

In Russia, the first etiquette manual appeared under Peter I, who opened a window to Europe. He was a straightforward man, he did not particularly stand on ceremony with the boyars, and therefore the collection of rules of conduct at court was rather rude instructions. Introducing the Western manner of behavior, dress code, appearance, the king himself strictly and persistently monitored the implementation of these rules.

Suffice it to recall his harsh law about beards. And in 1709, Peter I issued a decree according to which any person who violated etiquette was subject to punishment. Subsequently, the empresses Elizabeth and Catherine II approached the drawing up of court etiquette more selectively, choosing such rules that suited the peculiarities of the national color of Russia. Since this vast empire spanned Eurasia, it intertwined the opposites of West and East. More than three centuries have passed, and these differences remain to this day.

Modern etiquette is a symbiosis of the traditions of all peoples from antiquity to the present day. Now that we have the opportunity to communicate with foreigners or be abroad, it is important not only to speak the language of the interlocutor, but also to navigate in national traditions, so as not to get into a stupid position and not cause a serious insult out of ignorance.

It is necessary to remember common sense and show respect for others, regardless of skin color or social class.

Peculiarities

Modern etiquette is an important component of the external culture of an individual and society as a whole. However, there are professions in which this concept becomes dominant. We are talking primarily about employees of the diplomatic service, politicians, cultural figures, as well as businessmen and scientists.

Today, in the world of modern technologies and fast-acting media, any incorrect statement or disastrous behavior can instantly become public knowledge not only nationally, but also globally.

Therefore, it is so important to raise your level of culture and understand the intricacies of etiquette.

We follow many etiquette rules automatically. A person who thinks every second about how to do the right thing will find himself in the situation of an old man who was once asked the question: “Where do you hide your beard when you fall asleep? ". Having never been tormented by this question before, the unfortunate man wasted himself without sleep, choosing where to hide his beard. Therefore, you should not remember the rules of etiquette every minute, but know them so well that you can communicate without thinking about the correctness of your actions and words.

Etiquette has certain features:

• It contains universal rules of behavior that have been passed down through the ages. And every educated citizen knows the usual rules of politeness.
• Etiquette reflects the characteristics of any ethnic group: customs, traditions, rituals.
• Etiquette is a complex system of conventional signs and gestures that convey information and express attitudes to the addressee. You can pat on the shoulder a good friend, but not a high-ranking official. A man stands up if a woman enters, expressing his respect for her. Gestures, head movements, eye movements are important during business negotiations or diplomatic visits.
• The rules of conduct have developed historically, they are not absolute, but are rather local in nature. If in one country it is customary to bow politely when meeting a stranger, then in another it is a stormy kiss. Both that, and another will be considered as the norm accepted in the given, concrete environment.

• Etiquette characterizes the system of values ​​that has developed in a given country. With it, you can determine the relationship between people (close and not so, friendly or hostile). The location of people during various events (ceremonial, mourning) gives an idea of ​​the equality (or class character) of those present. For example, in Russia, for a long time, the most expensive people were seated in the “upper” (best) place. "Lower" went to the least honored guests. Suffice it to recall any meeting, conference: important guests take their place in the presidium, sitting down facing the hall.

But the custom of gathering at a round table, which immediately evokes associations with King Arthur and his knights, is a psychological device that shows the equality of all those present at a seminar, meeting, conference.

• Etiquette is conditional, its norms offer such behaviors that can organize productive communication and increase mutual understanding. In addition, it is a manifestation of human morality. The inner world of a person also has an aesthetic component, it is not for nothing that they say: "A beautiful phrase, a beautiful gesture."

It is not only necessary to use the rules of conduct in practice, but it is also possible, since it is more convenient in relation to oneself and others.

Etiquette is modified under the influence of new times, new requirements. It is impossible to remember all the rules of behavior, but, fortunately, this is not required. It is important to understand the main principles of etiquette and put them into practice:

• principle of humanism.
• The principle of expediency of actions.
• aesthetic behavior.
• Respect for the traditions of your country and other countries.

The principle of humanism embodies the moral side of etiquette and includes certain requirements for a culture of interpersonal communication: politeness, modesty, tolerance.

Politeness is a multifaceted concept with many shades: it is both correct politeness and delicacy, courtesy. "Accuracy is the courtesy of kings", as well as an important characteristic of the etiquette of many countries.

The following principle characterizes the ability to behave correctly in a completely new, unfamiliar environment or non-standard situation. Anyone can find themselves in a situation where he simply does not know the specific rules of conduct. Here good breeding, a culture of behavior, a sense of humor, the ability to transfer existing knowledge to a new situation of communication will come to the rescue.

It must be remembered that it should be convenient not only for you, but also for those around you.

Beautiful behavior is another important principle on which etiquette is based. An untidy dressed person, with the smell of alcohol, with a sullen expression on his face or uncontrollably loudly laughing, nodding with a pretentious-squeamish look or noisily rustling candy wrappers in the theater causes irritation and fear.

Each nation cherishes its traditions, created over the centuries, and is sensitive to their observance. The most ideal manners and beautiful appearance will not save a person from condemnation who does not taste the loaf presented by the Slavs, or who stubbornly catches the eye of a Muslim.

In addition, there are several more principles that are more related to business etiquette, but the knowledge of which will not hurt anyone:

• the principle of subordination dictates the behavior of employees, how they should address their superiors, greet them. In recent years, it has softened significantly against the backdrop of a new management style - participatory (from the English. Participate - participate);
• the principle of parity is to achieve equality of positions, regardless of the position held, length of service.

Kinds

The variety of types of modern etiquette is impressive. Here is some of them:

General civil - a set of rules that citizens must follow when communicating with each other. It is subdivided into:

• speech;
• festive;
• conversation etiquette;
• canteen;
• professional.

• Religious - tells you how to behave in religious buildings and communicate with clergy.
• Weekend etiquette - regulates the behavior in places of public importance: a museum, a theater, a restaurant, an exhibition, a cinema.
• The rules of everyday (informal) etiquette suggest how to behave in everyday life, communicate with people on the street, in transport.
• Wedding - rules regarding the conduct of the marriage ceremony, dresses, invitations, decorations, flowers, festive banquet. The bride, groom and witnesses are constantly under the guns of video and photographic equipment, so they need to look and behave accordingly. But guests must adhere to the rules of conduct at the wedding table.

• Family - defines intra-family relations between spouses, children, closest relatives.
• Funeral (sad) - the customs and traditions of the ceremony of farewell to the deceased. In this type of etiquette, there are a huge number of nuances, and each nation has its own special traditions. Among the Slavs, black is considered mourning, and among the Japanese, white. Tatars bury people in a carpet or cloth, while many Europeans bury people in a coffin.
• Sports - the rules of conduct for coaches, athletes, fans, as well as relationships within the team and between teams.
• Traveler etiquette is the norms of behavior of a tourist in a foreign country, within which ensuring his safety, maintaining a good image of his country and showing respect for the national traditions of the host country.

• Secular etiquette - rules that reflect the behavior of a polite member of society, his respect for others, demonstrating personal dignity.
• Courtier - regulates behavior at the royal court in monarchy countries.
• Military - a collection of statutory and general rules for military personnel in all areas of their activities and locations: unit, ship, public places.
• Gender informs about the rules of behavior in connection with the differentiation of male and female roles in society.

• Business etiquette considers the basics of behavior in the field of doing business: organizing business meetings, presentations, handling business cards, features of business correspondence and telephone conversations, rules for presenting gifts.
• Corporate etiquette provides a list of rules observed by employees of one company in relations with each other and with other organizations.
• Diplomatic. The work of a diplomat consists of 90% knowledge of etiquette, he must know how to behave correctly at various receptions, official events, negotiations, meetings, and thoroughly navigate the traditions of the country in which he is located.

• Service. Determines the behavior of participants in the service sector: those who provide them and those who receive them.
• Network (Netiquette or Netiquette) - the rules of conduct for participants in communication using electronic gadgets on the network. There are several golden rules of network communication, in particular, you should not forget that you are communicating with a live person, so you must adhere to the same standards as in reality. For example, do not write what you would not be able to say in person. Do not get involved in conflicts and do not create them - the rule is often violated by the so-called "trolls", but a well-mannered person will not do this.
• From this follow the rules of electronic correspondence - business and private.

Separately, I would like to put knightly etiquette and ballroom. These sets of rules were developed several centuries ago, have not changed dramatically, but are used in narrow circles in the modern world.

Knighthood, which arose in the 11th century, had a significant impact on the life of Europe and etiquette as well. Noble young men were knighted, who were ordered to perform many peculiar rituals: choosing a lady of the heart and worshiping her, serving a lord, participating in tournaments, knighting, accepting vassals. The knight's code required him to strictly observe all the rules, for even the slightest deviation from them threatened with loss of honor. Not without reason in the knight's motto were the words: “Life is for the king ... honor is for no one! ".

The destiny of the knights was to protect the weak, to respect everyone around them, to fight only with a strong opponent, not to allow cowardice even in thoughts, to have an iron will. Now, in various role-playing and reconstruction games, participants, recreating the Middle Ages, also turn to knightly etiquette.

Ballroom etiquette is a special set of rules that have not changed for centuries. It includes not only ball gowns (a long off-shoulder dress for a lady, a tuxedo (tail coat) and black shoes for gentlemen), the culture of behavior at a ball, knowledge of all dance figures, but also the design of ballrooms, a buffet. Snow-white gloves that were never removed were considered an important accessory: for ladies - silk, above the elbow, for men - kid or suede.

An important detail of the lady's toilet was a fan. Even a secret language of signs for lovers was invented, signals were given by this elegant fan. For example, a married lady signaled: “I am married! ”, opening the fan and waving it away from the annoying suitor. And the fully opened fan read: “You are my idol! ".

Functions

Etiquette as a regulation performs certain functional duties:

• Contacting - encourages people to communicate.
• Maintaining contact - a well-mannered person will always find something to talk about in a particular society, except for the weather. Forbidden topics for discussion with strangers: marital and financial status, political and religious views, physical disabilities of the interlocutor.
• Creating a respectful and comfortable atmosphere of communication.
• Regulatory function, or division into castes, estates, position in society. Such rules were especially strictly observed in the East.
• Preventive - compliance with etiquette rules allows you to prevent conflicts.
• Informational - rules of conduct tell people how to behave in a given situation.
• Standardization - this function is more appropriate in business etiquette and lies in the fact that a set of rules standardizes the behavior of all team members.
• Identities with others - knowing how the majority will act in a certain situation, a person will not be confused and will not feel like a stranger.
• Educational - develop positive personal qualities in children and youth.
• Accumulation and transmission of knowledge - a person studies and passes on the accumulated experience from generation to generation.

Basic Rules

The legendary Jack Nicholson noted in one of his interviews that he is extremely sensitive to the implementation of countless rules of etiquette, since their main goal is to make our life more comfortable.

Indeed, a well-mannered person looks much more attractive than someone who wipes his nose with his fist, chews loudly in public, or talks on the phone in the middle of a performance.

For all their seeming infinity, the rules of etiquette are quite simple: they relate to a neat appearance, polite behavior, cultural speech and self-control.

Consider the basic rules of good manners in Russia, as well as foreign countries:

• From early childhood, everyone is taught an important rule - do not pick your nose in public, do not shout too loudly, do not itch.
• Address strangers with "you".
• Use courtesy words in speech.
• Do not look at the interlocutor intently or frowningly.
• Don't say things behind someone's back that you can't say to their face.
• Be punctual.
• To be able to restrain both stormy delight and seething anger.
• Always keep what you promise.

• Clothes and shoes should always be clean and tidy.
• It is not customary to chase fashion if you risk looking stupid and awkward at the same time.
• You can’t put a mobile phone on a table in public places - by doing so, you show disrespect to others, showing how important this gadget is to you.
• Remember about the secrecy of correspondence! Even if you are a parent, you do not have the moral right to read the child's personal records. The same applies to spouses.
• In a cinema, circus, always turn to face those sitting, passing to your seat.
• We decided to visit friends - be sure to call in advance! These rules are especially strictly observed in Western Europe. For example, in Germany you need to call a week in advance, announcing your visit. And you should not count on a richly set table (as is customary among us Slavs) - crackers and canapes are considered the right treat among pedantic Germans.
• If you are walking with a companion, and he greeted a stranger, then you also need to greet.

• When meeting, the elder extends his hand to the younger. They do not shake hands with a lady, only if she did not initiate such a thing.
• When entering a room, always say hello first.
• A man always treats a woman with respect.
• Observe table manners.

Behavior examples

Since etiquette regulates the rules of behavior and communication, it is very important to know how to make acquaintances correctly. The man introduces himself to the woman first, the younger ones are introduced to the elders. If you introduce those present, then you must personally introduce each person.

When meeting with parents, you need to introduce them to a new acquaintance.

The rules of conduct between a man and a woman should be known and observed by both sexes:

• The place of the gentleman on the street is to the left of the companion. Only the military is allowed to walk on the right, so that he can salute at any moment. The woman's handbag is worn exclusively by the hostess.
• A man enters the restaurant first, making it clear to the head waiter that he will pay.
• A man must stand up if a woman leaves the table.
• A man always helps a woman sit down at the table, into the car.
• If you want to smoke in the presence of a lady, you need to ask her permission.
• The man lets his companion go forward. The exception is the descent down the stairs, the elevator, the basement.

Table etiquette implies compliance with the following rules:

• Sit up straight at the table and do not put your hands on it. It is permissible to stick to the edge of the table with your wrists.
• You need to eat with your mouth closed, not champing.
• Conversations are appropriate only in between meals.
• They only eat bread with their hands, breaking it into small pieces.
• Use a knife and fork, the knife is shifted to the right hand to cut food. Do not cut with a table knife only pudding, scrambled eggs.
• If you are invited to an event, it is completely unacceptable to be late.

• The rules of behavior in nature say: be sure to clean up your garbage, as well as someone else's garbage, if there is one nearby. Follow the rules for making fires, do not destroy bird nests, anthills, do not break branches and do not tear flowers. In a word, you are visiting nature, so take care of it!

International norms

Regardless of the country in which you arrived, the following universal rules must be observed:

• Respect for religion, the leadership of the country, traditions, cooking.
• No need to draw parallels with your homeland.
• No criticism.
• Ultimate punctuality.
• It is worth studying the banknotes of the country you are going to, and also not boasting about your own finances.
• Always get up when the national anthem is played. It is useful to repeat the actions of local residents.
• You should not wear national costumes without familiarizing yourself with their ritual meaning.
• Pronounce names correctly.

• Always show respect for elders.
• When taking unfamiliar food, it is not customary to refuse and find out what it is. It is better to grind the portion as much as possible and try.
• Do not use familiar gestures (for example, a thumbs up), in another country they can mean very offensive things.

The structure of national etiquette has its own specifics in different countries - traditions, special rules of behavior in society. What nuances you need to know about:

• England. The prim British prefer to maintain a distance between interlocutors and strictly observe table etiquette.
• USA. The essence of Americans is openness and friendliness. Smile often and say hello regularly, even if you greeted the person 15 minutes ago.
• France. The locals are extremely unpunctual and expressive, they gesticulate a lot. "Madame", "monsieur" - addresses adopted for strangers.
• Spain. Siesta - afternoon rest - regulates the rhythm of life of the Spaniards: they have breakfast after 1 pm, and business meetings are held after 10 pm. An invitation to breakfast should be politely declined twice, only the third time it is customary to agree. Killing a Spaniard is the height of disrespect.
• Arab countries. Arabs love long meetings and the same handshakes, but they do not favor alcohol and pork. It is not customary to praise things in the house, because according to tradition, the owner must give this to his guest.

• India. As a sign of greeting, the Hindus bow, pressing their left hand to their hearts. It is not customary to touch the interlocutor. For business meetings, you need to wear light-colored things.
• China. Gifts to the Chinese are handed out only before departure, and crossed chopsticks are bad form. Modesty is valued here, a tie is appropriate only at official events.
• Japan. Here it is customary to bow and exchange light handshakes as a sign of greeting. Never be late and do not look the interlocutor directly in the eye! Always take off your shoes when visiting or at a restaurant. It is important to know that if the Japanese agreed in words, this does not mean that it really is.

If you are going to visit a foreign country, do not be too lazy to learn more about its customs. This will save you from many embarrassing situations.

Non-verbal communication

Speech and communication are verbal (speaking, listening, writing, reading) and non-verbal (facial expressions, gestures, posture). Scientists have found that the message sent in the language of movement is much more persuasive. For example, if a person smiles only with his lips, keeping a stone face and ice in his eyes, they are unlikely to believe his assurances of the sincerity of feelings.

If you do not know the basic rules of non-verbal communication, the interlocutor may misunderstand you, doubt your good intentions, or even be mortally offended (this is especially true for representatives of the countries of the East).

As you know, you don't get a second chance to make a first impression. Psychologists have calculated that it takes us two to four minutes to form a definite opinion about a stranger. Therefore, you should know a few important rules so that you always leave a positive impression of yourself without even saying a word:

• When you communicate with a person, especially a foreigner, try to gesticulate less. Perhaps active hand movements will be appreciated by Italians and Spaniards, but you still need to restrain yourself.
• Do not fold your arms over your chest and do not cross your legs - this is a way of psychological protection, an attempt to close yourself from others. Frowning eyebrows, drooping shoulders and bowed head, fingers clenched nervously, are also signs of withdrawal.

• The gait should be elastic and confident, the back should be straight.
• From a smile it will become brighter for everyone - both for you and your interlocutors. Unfortunately, in the vastness of our Motherland, a smile addressed to a stranger is subconsciously perceived as a mockery. And for Europeans and especially Americans, this is a mandatory attribute.
• To win over the interlocutor, it is worth tilting your head slightly to one side, copying his pose.
• Sitting on a chair, you can not fall apart on it, pull the armrests, twist around the legs. It is not customary to cross one leg; for women, the most appropriate position is legs crossed at the ankles.

• Know-how for students and ordinary employees: when listening to a lecturer or boss, nod slightly in time with his words. You will soon find that the speaker is addressing you specifically. This technique helps to positively stand out among other listeners.
• The eyes are the mirror of the soul and also a very expressive part of the face. A look can say much more than words. Even the pupils are able to say a lot about feelings and experiences: they expand with joyful excitement, interest, narrow - with a gloomy mood, an attempt to lie.
• The intonation of an utterance combines verbal and non-verbal communication and directly expresses the attitude of the speaker to the information that he submits.

Clothing culture

The culture of dress is as important as the culture of behavior. The most important rule regarding clothing is that it must be clean and tidy. When choosing clothes, a person is guided by personal preferences, material capabilities and fashion trends.

In men's clothing, the greatest number of requirements are put forward in relation to a jacket pair. Any suit should fit well. Pay attention to the quality of the material, not the fashion trends, because a really good suit is timeless. In a formal setting, the suit is always buttoned up, it is allowed to unbutton it, for example, at the table.

When choosing a color, pay attention to monochromatic soft colors or a large check. The shirt should peek out 1.5 cm from under the jacket. The tie should always be darker than the shirt, but lighter than the color of the suit. Socks are matched to the color of the shoes, but by no means white.

It is considered bad manners to fill the pockets of your trousers so that they bristle. They put a handkerchief, keys, a credit card there. A place for other important things is quite found in the pockets of outerwear and a special men's bag.

In everyday life, the requirements of etiquette are not so strict; it is allowed to use a semi-sports style for male teachers and leaders. Young people are guided by personal tastes and belonging to a particular subculture.

However, you should always remember about moderation and common sense. Better to dress tighter than looser than you should.

Women are given great freedom in choosing fabrics and styles. However, the outfit should always match the situation! The lady who went out for bread to a neighboring store in a fur coat and high-heeled boots looks extremely ridiculous. Just like the young lady who appeared at the opera in a tracksuit and Snickers.

General rules for choosing clothes require taking into account the type of face and hair color, stripes on clothes are not suitable for everyone(transverse fat, longitudinal - stretch the silhouette). For a business woman (office worker, teacher, student), a teacher, a too short skirt and trendy silhouettes are unacceptable. Pastel colors should be chosen, the costume itself should consist of several parts - skirt + vest + blouse, trousers + jacket.

The shoes are comfortable, elegant, with low heels. Tights are a must at any time of the year! Hair and makeup should emphasize natural beauty, perfume should leave a slight flair, and not the impression of a perfume shop.

In any case, clothes should be comfortable and look good on a person, emphasize his culture and upbringing.

The subtleties of conversation

A conversation is not a simple dialogue. This is a meaningful exchange of thoughts between the participants in communication, which requires special skills. The conversation is relaxed and businesslike, when a certain issue is discussed, determined in advance.

In oratory, you need to practice in order to get closer to the image of an ideal interlocutor who knows how to listen and speak on the topic.

The first rule of conversation is a respectful attitude towards the interlocutor. All strangers over the age of 18 should be addressed as "you", even if this person is younger. You can switch to "you" with a friend by mutual agreement.

The rules of good manners require you not to stick out your “I” in the process of communication, even if you are a genius in your industry. It is necessary to treat all participants of communication with attention, to give everyone the opportunity to speak.

Watch your speech, its tempo-rhythmic characteristics. Too fast speech is incomprehensible, makes you strain too much to isolate the necessary information from a stormy stream of words. Slow speech with numerous pauses is tiring and quickly boring. You need to adhere to the golden mean: speak clearly, distinctly, loudly enough. Interestingly, the English speak at exactly the volume that one person in the room can hear them:

• It is not customary to discuss topics in society that are incomprehensible to the majority, as well as purely personal and taboo.
• You should not pretend or exalt yourself beloved, trying to diversify the conversation - even if there is every reason for this.
• Even if the topic of the conversation is not interesting, you don’t need to show it with all your might: rummage in your bag, yawn, turn your head around, look at your mobile phone.
• Do not interrupt the narrator with rude remarks. An educated person will listen to the end, even if he hears the story for the hundredth time.
• It is better to start a conversation with the simplest topics: about the weather, about the holiday in honor of which they gathered, to tell an interesting story (but not an anecdote!) Or an instructive parable.
• And it is necessary to end the conversation on a positive note for further fruitful continuation of the acquaintance.