How to find a spiritual mentor in the Orthodox Church. How to find a spiritual mentor? Does a person need a spiritual mentor? Rev. Barsanuphius the Great

Disturbing events in the world lead to the fact that more and more people begin to seek reassurance in the Church, protection from God, but many do not know how to do this, sometimes embarrassed by their Christian illiteracy and lack of faith. It is almost impossible to independently join the spiritual life or join the church, learn to read the Bible and understand it, and know the rules of conduct in the temple.

Many Christians baptized in infancy seek to approach the Sacraments of the Church and, as a rule, do this by consulting with people from their environment, not even realizing that a spiritual mentor in the Orthodox Church can help them.

Spiritual mentor - wise assistant

Christians who frequent temple services meet with the same priests, and sometimes they are the same person. During sermons and Liturgies, Orthodox believers have questions that even close friends cannot answer.

Sometimes life situations develop in such a way that you can’t tell anyone about them at all, and the problem tears the heart, and then the person goes to the temple to the priest.

How to find a spiritual mentor

A huge gift was acquired by those Christians who for a long time have the opportunity to receive encouragement and guidance from a spiritual mentor at any time.

A spiritual mentor is a person who is well versed in Orthodoxy, constantly abides in reading spiritual literature, fasting, praying and fulfilling all the canons. The priest of the local church does not always become a spiritual guardian; it can be a Sunday school teacher or a church-goer, that is, a person living the life of the temple.

For Christians who rarely go to church, a close person who honors God with his whole life and serves as an example, a light for others can become a spiritual helper. “By their deeds you will know,” wrote the apostle Matthew (Matthew 7:16)

A spiritual mentor is a God-sent person who will help a soul seeking God:

• come to true repentance;
• to know the meaning of the Savior's Sacrifice;
• learn to fear God on the basis of trust in Him;
• "dress" in the faith of Christ, as in armor.

About the priesthood:

What is the role of a spiritual mentor

For Christian development, liberation from sins, vision of the goals of life, people constantly need outside help. Psychologists, psychoanalysts, healers and coaches have appeared in worldly life, who are ready to help solve any problem for a lot of money, but there is no money, no help.

In the Christian life, the spiritual mentor performs all the functions of the above assistants in solving all problems.

The Role of a Spiritual Guide

As a healer, a spiritual mentor is ready to listen to any problem, not to condemn, but to help find a way out, support a Christian, fill him with faith that Jesus went to the cross for his sins.

A Bible-savvy teacher will show you the passages in Holy Scripture that should be read in certain cases in order to find a way out of any impasse, whether it be:

• disease;
• business;
• debts;
• family relationships;
• children's disobedience.

Finding a real Orthodox teacher is like winning a big prize in the lottery. Having a good friend, who is always ready to help not only through the word of God, but also in deed, must be greatly appreciated and respected.

Spiritual issues of the Orthodox faith:

• Can a pet be buried in a human cemetery?

A spiritual mentor can have many wards, each of them needs attention, and a family also lives near the teacher, she also needs time to devote, therefore, treat the messenger of God with special warmth and care, respecting his time.

Important! Not a single psychologist or coach takes responsibility for the consultation, while the Orthodox counselor is responsible for every Christian before God, for he is entrusted with “sheep feeding”.

To achieve the goal and solve the problem by worldly specialists, a variety of methods are good, including hypnosis and manipulation. God's servant will walk along the path of Light, leading the people entrusted to him, guided by the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the canons of Orthodoxy, and the experience of the Church Fathers.

bible reading

The ultimate goal of spiritual growth is to strengthen an unbelieving Christian on the path to eternal life, help him truly become churched, grow in faith so that he can soon become, albeit small, but a mentor.

What are the criteria for choosing a counselor?

When choosing a Christian counselor, it is better for a person to be guided by his own feelings, and not by the advice of friends.

To be honest, not all priests are an example of Christian life, it is not for us to judge them, for this there is the judgment of God, but it is also difficult to trust an unbeliever in a small servant of God.

1. A spiritual mentor should set an example of Christian life, not only in ministry, but also in everyday affairs, family relationships. It is difficult to trust a person whose children have gone the wrong way, there is no harmony in relations between spouses.
2. Behavior during fasting characterizes the clergyman. How to trust someone who, while preaching strict abstinence, is himself suffering from obesity, because fasting in Orthodoxy lasts more than 200 days.
3. One of the indicators of choosing a spiritual guide is trust. Some priests suffer, to put it mildly, from incontinence of the tongue, when what is said in confession becomes the property of the entire settlement, especially in villages and small towns.

Confession in sins

A person who comes for advice, revealing his soul, then burns with shame and resentment. From the help of such "advisers" there is only one harm. False, dishonorable people cannot claim the role of a spiritual mentor, just like thieves and adulterers, even hiding their vices very much. God will surely bring to light serious sins, especially for priests. For it is said that to whom God has entrusted much, from them He will ask much (Luke 12:48).

1. A trustee from God is manifested in relation to the poor, the sick and the elderly. A true servant "will not take off his last shirt from his neighbor", if necessary, will serve without pay, with a blessing.
2. It is terrible to fall into the hands of a fanatical believer who, with his “righteousness”, will humiliate, fill the person who trusts him with a sense of self-humiliation and failure, as a Christian. A sensible teacher will spell out the Scriptures, teach how to understand Him, to accept them in the mind and heart, to live according to Him, walking the bright path to Christ.
3. Unrighteous rage, anger during a consultation is unacceptable for a priest to whom a person of little faith or lost in passions has come.

A spiritual mentor will always find something to thank God for in any situation and will teach the ward how to trust the Creator and Savior according to the word of God.

Advice! Do not stop, it is better to make a mistake two or three times than to stand still. Each time, before going to a consultation or a conversation, you need to pray earnestly and ask the Creator to direct you to that mentor who will lead you on the right path.

If after a meeting alone with the chosen mentor there is a feeling of relief, joy, peace and tranquility sets in, when you want to plunge deeper and deeper into the word of God, there is an understanding of the Sacrifice of Christ and faith in strengthened prayer, then be sure that the spiritual God sent to you is in front of you. mentor.

If this is not a priest of your church, then ask for blessings in the temple to receive spiritual grace from another person.

The counselor becomes a teacher, adviser, friend who will show the way out in a difficult life situation. At the same time, he will understand and not condemn, he will act in love, which the Holy Trinity fills the heart of the mentor.

How to choose a spiritual father? Archpriest Vladimir Golovin

All over the world there are organizations, religions and cults teaching spirituality and all sorts of other metaphysical systems.

Some are looking for the Mother or Father in the spiritual mentor, some position the spiritual mentor as a therapist. Other people are missing something in their lives, so they try to solve the problem through spiritual enlightenment. Unfortunately, there are many scammers and "spiritual" organizations in the world now that take advantage of people's gullibility.

Who is a Spiritual Guide

How can a person who is looking for a spiritual mentor recognize a real teacher (or organization)? After all, many people claim that they are spiritual teachers, but not all are such in reality.

A spiritual mentor is a person who assists in development, spiritual enlightenment, solving problems and achieving life goals. It helps to find answers to many questions, primarily spiritual ones. A healer or a psychologist - as a rule, they help a person solve individual issues or problems and do not influence the fate of a person as completely as a Spiritual Mentor.

How to find a Spiritual Mentor? Who has the right to give spiritual advice

To find a good spiritual mentor, you need to know what qualifications are needed to be one? Most teachers are "self-assessed". There is no gender or tradition.

Good spiritual mentor- this is the one who distinguishes between Good and Evil, always follows the path of Light, does not pursue material values, is not selfish, is completely "enlightened" and understands the true nature of reality. This is a person who has achievements in spiritual development and helping people. He can teach others the different levels of consciousness because he has spent years on his own spiritual development and has great awareness.

Spiritual Counseling

There are many spiritual advisors around. Below are some clues regarding spiritual "advisers" that are not genuine:

They have an inflated sense of self-importance.

They or their followers ask you for money.

They like to be famous and actively seek out a lot of followers.

A guru who attracts people with his charisma rather than his teachings.

Predicts the future with vague statements like: "Something important will happen soon."

They pay a lot of attention to how they dress. Most are dressed in "mystic" style, implying that they have "Great Secrets of Revealing".

Unhealthy relationships with your followers.

They want to control their students in everything. A real teacher wants his student to feel in control of his life.

They claim to be a Powerful Magician or Prophet.

A real teacher wants to enlighten his student, to see him independent and able to manage his own life, and also to develop in a natural way.

A spiritual mentor will never promise super-fast development and, moreover, demand fabulous sums for training.

Methods for exposing charlatans

A real spiritual mentor does not put excessive demands on his student, he does not sell his knowledge, but shares it. So how do you identify a true spiritual mentor?

The following are the main signs according to which a charlatan can be exposed:

1. Money and material values.

When providing financial support to a new student, it is worth asking where the invested funds are spent. There is a big risk that the money invested for good can be spent for other purposes. This begs the question: is this a real spiritual mentor?

Power can be both positive and negative. There is a big difference between when a person mindlessly submits to authority or consciously recognizes his spiritual master, who must be obeyed. Cult leaders do not like honest feedback, the person is not allowed to question their actions or decisions. The overbearing guru loves to dictate how to behave and control the lifestyle of his disciple. This is not spirituality, this is a spiritual dictatorship.

3. Alcohol and drugs.

Some spiritual teachers ask their students to drink alcohol or take drugs in order to achieve enlightenment! The maximum that can be achieved in this case is the acquisition of alcohol or drug addiction.

4. Sexy Guru.

Sexual relations between a person who is in power and a person who is dependent on a powerful person is a betrayal. Unfortunately, in recent years there have been many reports of sexual misconduct among spiritual teachers. Disciples are told that in order to achieve full enlightenment, they must have sex with their master. It is important to understand that this is just a brazen manipulation aimed at using people to satisfy their own sexual needs.

Reasons why many people trust charlatan prophets

Mistaken charisma and power for wisdom.There are many powerful people who are not necessarily wise. Wisdom is often associated with simplicity and humility. A good mentor is compassionate and does not position their spiritual enlightenment as a sign of achievement.

Guru worship. Some spiritual mentors, at every opportunity, focus on the fact that they supposedly have powerful spiritual energy. This forces the student to focus more on the person of the spiritual advisor than on his spiritual teachings. True spiritual mentors lead an ascetic lifestyle and do not strive for popularity and fame; they take a person for training in order to pass on the experience and knowledge gained, and not for material gain or other personal interests.

Effect . Just because a teacher has spirituality does not mean that he knows everything. The spiritual master also makes mistakes, and if he admits this, he is sincere with his disciple.

On the way to spiritual enlightenment, it is important not to engage in self-deception and remember that spiritual development is painstaking work on oneself, which requires a lot of time.

When looking for a spiritual mentor, one must be guided by facts that indicate the presence or absence of sincerity, as well as a realistic look at the ability of one's teacher and remember that teachers can also make mistakes. A spiritual mentor must be chosen not only with the mind, but also with the heart, and it will certainly help in the right choice.

“Today, the most necessary thing for people is to find a confessor, confess to him, trust him and consult with him,” such an answer about the organization of spiritual life is given by the Monk Paisios the Holy Mountaineer, who died in 1994, that is, relatively recently. The essentials… So, we need to look for a confessor.

Who is a confessor or spiritual father? First of all, this is a priest to whom they regularly confess. Once upon a time, for the majority of believers, the priest of the parish church was the confessor. People were simpler, not so proud of themselves and calmly accepted those external circumstances that befell them by the will of God. All provinces, cities and villages of Russia were divided not only into streets and quarters, but also into parishes.

Somehow, having answered the question on which street I live, I happened to hear: “What parish is this?” That is, earlier the identity of a confessor for a significant part of the population was determined by the will of God, the decree of the diocesan authorities and the place of residence. People confessed, asked for advice and received teachings from their parish priest. “To seek advice here and there is disapproving. An adviser to everyone, a God-appointed confessor, who is usually a parish priest” (St. Theophan the Recluse).

True, if someone was looking for more in the spiritual life, then, with full respect for the God-given pastor, it was not forbidden to resort to the help of another confessor or to seek a mentor in some monastery. As in worldly life, someone is content with a primary education, someone tries to get a secondary education, while another dares to a higher education, so it is in spiritual life.

Several years ago we collected materials about the life of nun Euphrosyne (Khrulkova) (1873-1968), who was buried in our parish cemetery and is very revered in this area. As a girl, she ended up in an almshouse at the church. She spent a lot of time in the priest's house with his children, and the priest talked with her. He saw that the maiden needed more, so to speak, “qualified” guidance, and blessed her to look for a confessor in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra. The trip to the Lavra became fateful for Euphrosyne, the Lord sent her a wonderful confessor, and later she became a nun. It is a well-known practice when a parish priest advises someone to look for a more experienced or competent confessor, or recommends a specific person.

The confessor not only listens to a confession, he prays for a person who has entrusted his conscience to him.

And the Lord, condescending to both, admonishes the confessor what word to say to the penitent. Or keep silent. Or regret. Or maybe today and scold. And someone needs to be supported, inspired. Therefore, it is so important to go to confession to one priest, then it will be easier for him to find out the dispensation of the penitent, it will be easier to help. Here everything matters: the age of the penitent, his marital status, natural mind and intellect, upbringing and education, health and infirmities, cheerfulness and slowness. Recommendations will always be different. That is why it is impossible to get full-fledged advice from books or websites.

Confessorship is the duty of a priest, just like preaching. But the abilities and talents of people are different. It can be noted that in a church where several priests serve (just as in monasteries where several hieromonks confess to the secular and spiritual), some stand in line for confession, while others are rarely approached one at a time. Different talents, as they say, "to baptize one, and to preach the gospel to another." But in the Church, everyone can find a helper for themselves. How? Go to church for services, confess, take communion and look closely. Pray, ask the Lord to arrange a meeting, open a person. And gradually the Lord will win over someone's heart. How the girls pray for the groom - with the hope that the Lord will arrange everything in the best way, and at the same time, looking around: isn't he?

How do you know that this confessor is worth trusting?

If we continue the comparison with a girl looking for a groom, then smart people will advise her to be more careful in dealing with a “magazine” handsome man, striking with secular gloss and skillful handling of the female sex. Similarly, experienced people advise those seeking guidance in spiritual life not to seek spiritual leaders with indispensable guarantees of holiness: perspicacious, miracle-working, and bearing great deeds. About whom St. Ignatius (Bryanchaninov) wrote: “We elect as leaders mainly those mentors whom the world has proclaimed saints, and who are either in the depths of delusion or in the depths of ignorance.”

As true love is quiet and hidden, so true holiness is quiet and hidden. We are all different, and everyone is looking for a spiritual interlocutor according to their hearts. This is a good compass. But discretion is also needed. And if this is difficult, then nothing prevents us from again turning to St. Ignatius for advice. “In my opinion, there is a great merit in a confessor – simplicity, unswerving adherence to the teachings of the Church, which is alien to all sorts of philosophies.” The saint warns against those who are “smart in their own way”, from those whose views and opinions differ from those of the Church. They are "not good for spiritual edification." As for the rest, choose for yourself - "both strict, and smart, and gracious, and indulgent, and simple-hearted, but a faithful son of the Church can be equally useful."

Does every person need a spiritual father? And if someone is already a confessor for many people, has a spiritual reasoning?

As St. Paisios the Holy Mountaineer said, “no matter how spiritual a person is, no matter how well he knows how to put things on the shelves concerning him, he cannot find inner peace, because God wants a person to receive help from a person and correct himself through person. The good God arranges this so that a person humbles himself. The Lord so arranged that a person cannot have a correct opinion either about himself or about the world without the help of another person - And the Lord God said: it is not good for a person to be alone (Gen. 2, 18). Every person needs a helper. From the personal recollections and biographies of the best representatives of our Church, we know that people of the most holy life and the highest ranks sought spiritual advice. And if someone cares about finding a good confessor, then it would be good to find one who himself lives under spiritual guidance or advice.

I remember one pious believing woman kept exclaiming: “How happy are those who have a confessor!” She was acquainted with many clergy. Moreover, she had the talent to get acquainted with the most famous and wonderful priests. But she could not cling to anyone, she did not have a confessor. She said: “After all, it will be necessary to obey the confessor, but what if I fail, it will be a sin.”

There is such a fear of obedience. Loss of freedom. This is mistake.

An experienced confessor never sets tasks beyond measure or against a person's dispensation. Righteous Moscow Elder Alexy Mechev, when asked what to do, usually asked a counter-question: “And what do you think?” And I already proceeded from this answer, giving advice. No coercion. The same practice is seen in other well-known confessors from the memoirs of their spiritual children. A confessor usually does not violate inner freedom, but gives freedom of choice. He does not order or ask, but leaves it to his own discretion. “Won’t you stop by?”, “Don’t you want to do something?”, “Can you go? ..” Confessors are needed “only to make it easier to follow the Gospel, and not to obey oneself,” Abbot Nikon (Vorobiev) wrote.

One must obey a spiritual father like a father according to the flesh and trust him like a father. But in dealing with spiritual children, the confessor is often more like a mother. The spiritual children recalled about Schieeromonk Alexy (Soloviev), the elder of the Smolensk Zosima Hermitage: “Elder Alexy was more like a mother than a father - he showed so much affection and tenderness, so much patience for everyone.” The same feeling of maternal care has remained in the memory of the children of many confessors, both of the past and the present. I know that in one modern spiritual family, on the day of the confessor’s name day, the child is congratulated with the song “The word “mother” is dear ...”.

That obedience to a confessor, which we read about in all kinds of patericons, is hardly capable of modern man. Although we are good for something. “There are three degrees of obedience - seeking advice in case of complete bewilderment; implementation of advice that coincides with our thoughts, inclinations, with our point of view; and, finally, the fulfillment of obedience, even when it is contrary to our views and desires - only this is true obedience. Anyone can take the first step. Ask a question and get the right answer. There is also such a form of relationship between the confessor and the child. And even in this case, a person receives benefit, is brought up, edified.

Sometimes you hear the opinion that the time of confession has passed, that you need to be guided by the Holy Scriptures and the works of the holy fathers. At the same time, they refer to St. Ignatius (Bryanchaninov). The saint did indeed write about the extreme impoverishment of the spirit-bearing elders and advised them to study the scriptures, but he also considered it necessary to give advice: fathers and brothers. Like his contemporary, St. Theophan the Recluse: “N. tells the truth that now there are no real leaders. However, one should not remain with one scripture and fatherly lessons. It is also necessary to ask." Looking back at the past life, St. Ignatius regrets past spiritual mistakes that happened “out of an excess of pride, not inclined to seek advice from one’s neighbor.” It is he who advises "residence by council."

And again let us turn to an experienced confessor, the Monk Paisius the Holy Mountaineer, who said: “If, having a confessor, people arrange their lives in such a way that there is a place for prayer and reading spiritual books in it, if they go to church, take communion, then in this life they nothing to be afraid of."

1. Definition and difference of concepts

Speaking of a spiritual mentor, in Orthodoxy they use the words spiritual father, spiritual father, elder . These are different concepts, and the relationship of each of these spiritual persons with a Christian is different.

confessor any priest is called performer of the sacrament of penance.

Spiritual father- this is spiritual leader Christian, whose advice he is guided in life.

Elder- the spiritual leader and mentor of a Christian, a saint who acquired in the Christian feat such gifts of the Holy Spirit as dispassion, prudence, humility, love, insight, teaching, consolation, healing, etc. guides and instructs him in all words, deeds and thoughts, and because of inner enlightenment, he knows the will of the Lord, as if hearing a certain voice ”(St. Theophan the Recluse), - a mentor through whom the will of God is directly revealed to those who resort to him.

St. Theophan the Recluse distinguished between the concepts of "confessor" and "spiritual father" and "elder" according to the actions of nursing, respectively: "simple confession" - "spiritual guidance from spiritual experience and knowledge" and "revealed guidance of an elder":

“Don’t have a confessor? How so? Didn't you confess and take communion?! Or do you mean a spiritual guide? Look around and you will find. I can't name anyone because I don't know anyone. Pray with faith and God will help. You seem to want me to take charge of you. I do not undertake to lead anyone, but when someone asks about something - and I mean a good thing - I always answer with pleasure, and I promise you this.

“Your confessor refuses to guide you. This is good faith on his part. - Respect his wish, and seek a leader. But as he does not want you to move away from him completely, then talk to him about spiritual things, which he is always happy about, as you say. Conduct spiritual affairs according to the instructions of the leader, and have confession and communion with him.

“A real leader [i.e. e. old man - approx. ed.], as you define it, you will not find. Elder of God Paisius, half a century ago, was looking for a leader all his life, and did not find ... "

It should be noted that sometimes, when they say "confessor", they mean the concept of "spiritual father", "spiritual mentor". This is found both at the present time and in past centuries, for example, St. Theophan the Recluse uses these words in some letters as synonyms , for example:

“Permission in the sacrament of penance is a real permit, no matter who performs it. For the Lord Himself listens to confession through the ears of a spiritual father, and He allows it through the mouth of a confessor.”

These words are not formal terms, so many authors use them in their own way. In our article, we will use each of these concepts in its strict sense.

2. Nursing at the confessor

In the sacrament of repentance, the resolution of the penitent from sins occurs, and it is true and immutable, regardless of which particular priest performs the sacrament, as long as it is an Orthodox priest who is not prohibited from serving. Therefore, you can confess to any priest: our repentance is mysteriously accepted by the Lord and sins are forgiven by Him.

St. Theophan the Recluse answers the one who asked him for a second, after another priest, absolution of sins:

“... you are also contacting me. But this is a waste of time. I have nothing to add to what you are doing. Nothing else is required. They repented, confessed and took communion. Sim is all done. It remains for you now - not to repeat more than what you repented of. Pay all your attention and care to this. The enemy, on the other hand, stirs you up and turns your thoughts to something else that is not necessary under the guise of what is necessary. We got permission, and be calm - thank God; and the enemy keeps you looking for permission, as if the permission you got was worth nothing. Permission in the sacrament of penance is real permission, no matter who performs it.... My permission is superfluous and the Lord is not pleased: for it means your unbelief in the power of the sacrament.

Rev. Paisiy Svyatogorets He often emphasized to his interlocutors that during confession, God Himself acts through the priest. Therefore, each of them has the opportunity to accept confession and forgive people's sins:

"Listen, child, all priests are good because they wear stole. Divine grace is on them, and when they read the permissive prayer, God forgives everything. So, go to church and confess!”

However, while St. Paisios explained:

« If anyone needs in a spiritual guide then he should not be taken at random. Only those who have taken care of their own purification can instruct. Having gained experience through doing, they receive a commandment and teach.

Archpriest Vyacheslav Tulupov:

“Do you understand what Elder Paisios was talking about? A spiritually inexperienced priest in his sermons can perfectly expound the gospel teaching and church dogmas, but he is unable to solve a specific problem. He will teach you the general rules, but he may not be able to apply them to your particular case.”

At the same time, it often happens that a Christian fails to find a spiritual father for a long time and he confesses to various priests, often wise and experienced, not daring or not being able to decide on spiritual guidance. This phenomenon is common and quite understandable. If such a person in difficult life circumstances needs advice about the will of God for him, then there is no need to despair. After praying, you can turn to an experienced priest. According to our faith, God, acting in the sacrament, puts into the mouth of the priest the answer to our questions. Many priests admit that more than once they answered those who asked during the sacrament of repentance not at all what they were originally going to say: God Himself answered the penitent through them.

Rev. John of the Ladder testifies to this:

“All who want to know the will of the Lord must first mortify their own will in themselves; and, having prayed to God, with faith and cunning simplicity, ask the fathers ... in humility of heart and without any doubt in thought and accept their advice as from the mouth of God ... subjected themselves to the advice and judgment of their neighbor; therefore, even if those who were asked did not have spiritual understanding, but there is the Immaterial and Invisible who speaks through them. Much humility of mind is filled with those who are guided by this rule without doubt ... "

He echoes and St. Theophan the Recluse:

“An elder is needed as a leader for those who undertake the great inner life. And our ordinary life can do with the advice of one confessor and even one of the attentive brethren. - It is necessary to pray to God, going to the confessor with a question and asking God to put the necessary thought to the confessor. “Whoever wishes it with faith will receive what he wants.”

Schema. Eli (Nozdrev) says the same:

«– Some people fundamentally look for a confessor in a monastery and don’t even look into a church near their home…

- This is again not true when a person is looking for somewhere overseas, thinking that it will be better there. Elder Siluan says that if a person believes in a confessor, then the Lord reveals wisdom to him through the confessor, regardless of how wise, learned, or experienced the confessor is. Here you need more trust in the questioner to the Lord. If there is trust in God, then the grace of God reveals what the questioner needs.”

However, it also happens that the advice given by the priest is questionable.

“A real leader, as you define him, is not to be found. Elder of God Paisius, half a century ago, was looking for a leader all his life, and did not find, but decided the matter like this: " seek guidance in the Word of God and in the teachings of St. fathers, especially devotees, in case of perplexity, ask the living zealots about salvation, "or

Archpriest Vyacheslav Tulupov advises that “for lack of experience, it is quite possible to seek advice from any priest. However, in doing so, prudent prudence must be observed, which must be based on knowledge of the Holy Scriptures and the heritage of the Holy Fathers.

If you are surrounded only by spiritually immature priests, then this, of course, is sad. When Peter Alexandrovich Brianchaninov found himself in a similar situation, he received a letter from his famous brother, Bishop Ignatius. The saint wrote: “Consult with the books of St. Tikhon, Demetrius of Rostov and George the Recluse, and of the ancients, Chrysostom; tell your confessor your sins, and that's all."

When you asked the priest for guidance, and then you had doubts about his words, you can consult on the issue of interest to you with pious Christians close to you. Of course, this does not mean that you should be suspicious of the priests and discuss all their instructions. It's just that the proverb is appropriate here: "Trust, but verify." How to do it? When checking, of course, in no case do not give the name of the priest and what he told you, so as not to turn out to be an ordinary gossip. The question that you asked him, ask others, listen to their answers and pray, make a choice.

3. Guidance of a Spiritual Father

« You can confess to any priest, but you need to be guided by the advice of one person", - said the remarkable ascetic of the XX century, Archimandrite Seraphim (Tyapochkin).

Spiritual father, unlike a simple confessor, this spiritually experienced, judicious priest, who not only accepts confession and sometimes answers the confessor's questions, but takes responsibility before God for his spiritual child, delves into all the details of his life and spiritual dispensation, guides him on the path of salvation, advises, teaches, instructs, blesses him for actions and deeds, important in the spiritual life.

St. Theophan the Recluse writes to his correspondents about the leadership of the spiritual father:

“And if time does not allow, it is better to shorten the rule, and do not follow it somehow. If necessary, invent this shortening yourself and bless your spiritual father for its fulfillment.

Throw away, without concealment, everything that burdens you. The limit to which it is necessary to bring the revelation of one’s sins is that the spiritual father has an exact concept of you, that he represents you as you are, and, allowing, he allows you, and not another, so that when he says: “ Forgive and forgive the penitent, you have committed sins about them, ”there was nothing left in you that would not fit these words.

Your grief is not superfluous. But what decision to take as a result of it, leave that to your spiritual father. If he has not told you anything special, then you need to rest on his word. To grieve and cry for the rest of your life about sins is not at all superfluous. Keep this fear of God, and protect yourself with it.

Visit your spiritual father Hilarion more often and open your soul to him. He will guide you!

That you read books to those who come is also not bad. But see that this business is carried out with the blessing and supervision of your spiritual father. Show him books, and often ask if you are good at what you say. You can say a lot of unkind speeches, thinking that you are speaking good speeches. Do this with the fear of God.

Do not rely on yourself, and do not trust your mind. Question your spiritual father more often about everything.”

Archim. John (Krestyankin):

The purpose of confessorship is to cultivate and cultivate the seed of life that is given to the human soul by the Lord, to protect it on the unknown paths of spiritual life, to be a guide, to reconcile a person with God by the grace-filled powers of the Sacraments.

Prot. Vadim Leonov:

Spirituality is the ability to enlighten and heal the souls of people from sin with the help of the grace of God.

4. Spiritual guidance of the elder

The well-known church writer Ivan Mikhailovich Kontsevich wrote that one experienced priest, speaking about spiritual leadership and emphasizing the difference between eldership and clergy, put it this way: “the spiritual father directs on the path of salvation, and the elder leads along this path”. Enlightened by the Holy Spirit, Elder by the revelation of God sees the spiritual infirmities and sins of the child and leads him along the path of struggle with passions and spiritual ascent, conforming to the will of God for his child. Ivan Mikhailovich Kontsevich noted that "eldership is a special gift of grace, charisma, direct guidance by the Holy Spirit, a special kind of holiness."

Archpriest Vyacheslav Tulupov:

“Do you want to know how the relationship between the elder and his disciple is built? It can be said that a spiritual contract is concluded between them: the elder takes upon himself the obligation to save the soul of the disciple, and the latter gives himself into complete obedience to the elder, cutting off his will in all life circumstances.

The elder guides every step the student takes in his life. The disciple must unquestioningly and without reasoning carry out all the orders of his mentor, since the will of God is revealed directly through him. The elder accepts the confession of a disciple who tells him about all his thoughts, feelings and deeds without exception. The elder punishes and encourages the disciple according to his will, moved by the Holy Spirit. Therefore, as you understand, it is not enough for an elder to be a righteous person. To fulfill his mission, he needs the special gifts of God.”

Since the spiritual gifts of the elder have the source of God Himself, “through the elder the will of God is revealed directly” and that is why, having asked the advice of the elder, “one must by all means follow it, because any deviation from the clear indication of God through the elder entails punishment” (I. M. Kontsevich).

Rev. Barsanuphius the Great:

155. The same (brother), not fulfilling the advice given to him by the elder regarding food, asked about the same thing a second time. The old man answered him like this:

Brother! … Whoever questions and disobeys (the fathers), he irritates God; the envy of the enemy will follow the question, and we have not yet learned the tricks of the demons. The apostle preaches unceasingly, saying, "For we do not understand his thoughts" (2 Cor. 2:11).

For the same reason that God Himself reveals His will concerning a person through an elder, it is also impossible to ask an elder the same question twice, or address two elders on the same question. In such behavior there is distrust of God, unbelief, His temptation, and the Lord departs from such a person. Therefore, at the first question, the elder speaks from God, revealing His will, but in the second case, his human, rational opinion is mixed in, which may not correspond to the will of God.

Rev. Barsanuphius the Great and John:

358. The brother asked another elder, saying: Tell me, my father, whom should I ask about thoughts? And whether it is necessary to propose the question to another about the same (thoughts).

John's answer. It is necessary to ask the one in whom you have faith, and you know that he can bear thoughts, and you believe him as God, and to question another about the same thought is a matter of unbelief and inquisitiveness. If you believe that God spoke through His saint, then why is there a test, or what is the need to tempt God by asking another about the same thing?

The Holy Fathers unanimously teach that one cannot go through the spiritual life without advice, and the one who is guided only by his own reasoning and feelings is easily caught by demons in various forms and moves away from the path of salvation.

St. Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain writes "about the intrigues of the enemy against those who have embarked on a good path":

“... the enemy does not leave him here either and only changes tactics, and not his evil desire and aspiration to stomp him on the stone of some temptation and destroy him. And the holy fathers depict such a person being fired upon from all sides: from above and below, to the right and left, in front and behind - arrows fly at him from everywhere. Arrows from above - suggestions of excessiveness beyond the strength of spiritual labors; arrows from below - suggestions to belittle or completely abandon such labors out of self-pity, negligence and carelessness ...

The first thing for the enemy, after someone decides to leave the unkind ways and really leaves them, it happens - to clear for himself the place of action against him, so that no one interferes with him. He succeeds in this when he inspires those who have embarked on a good path to act on their own, without turning for advice and guidance to the leaders inherent in the Church to a God-pleasing life. Whoever follows this guidance and believes all his deeds, both internal and external, to the arguments of his leaders, in parishes - lay priests, and in monasteries - experienced elders - the enemy has no access to that. Whatever he inspires, an experienced eye will immediately see where he is aiming, and will warn his pet. Thus all his machinations are ruined. And whoever recoils from his leaders, he will immediately whirl and lead him astray. There are many possibilities that seem not thin. He inspires them. The inexperienced novice follows them and falls into an ambush, where he is exposed to great dangers or even perishes.

The second thing the enemy arranges is to leave the newcomer not only without guidance, but also without help. The one who decides to manage his life without advice and guidance will soon by itself pass to the realization of the uselessness of third-party help in the performance of his affairs and the conduct of charitable orders. But the enemy accelerates this transition by hiding himself and does not attack the newcomer, who, having felt such freedom and privilege, begins to dream that this good state is the fruit of his own efforts, and therefore rests on them in his prayers for help. from above speaks, as it were, only through his teeth, only because it is written that way in prayers. Help is not sought and does not come, and thus the novice is left alone, with only his own forces. And with such an enemy it is already easy to deal with.

St. Theophan the Recluse writes about the need for counsel in the spiritual life:

“If you have a trusted spiritual person there, the confessor is best; then believe him everything that happens in you, or all changes in consciousness and heart, so that the enemy does not sneak in, dressed in light ghostly clothes. Someone else's mind will judge better, and indicate where the enemy is aiming, and save you from trouble, but your own can get carried away and step on the wrong path.

“What interferes with the internal order should not be allowed under any circumstances. That's why you need to have an old man at your side. The best thing for this is a confessor. Few things to meet ask immediately. Conscience will be calm. And then she will legally demand.

“And a little can disturb the soul. A God-fearing soul will be confused and, praying to God for enlightenment, hurries to the spiritual father, and it happens that out of nowhere, the most reassuring interpretation of the matter is obtained. Spiritual life is God's life; God watches over her. Of course, one cannot rush at anyone without prudence, one must also have one's own reasoning, but if it hesitates, then nowhere else to go than to the spiritual father. And in the outer life there are such intricate tangles that it is difficult to figure out how to act legally in a certain case; the more natural it is to be in the inner life.

“An elder is needed as a leader for those who undertake the great inner life. And our ordinary life can get by with the advice of one confessor and even one of the attentive brethren.- It is necessary to pray to God, going to the confessor with a question and asking God to put the necessary thought to the confessor. “Whoever wishes it with faith will receive what he wants.”

“A real leader, as you define him, is not to be found. Elder of God Paisios, half a century ago, searched all his life for a leader, and did not find, but resolved the matter as follows: "seek guidance in the Word of God and in the teachings of the holy fathers, especially ascetics, in case of bewilderment, ask living zealots about salvation," or agree two or three and with a common advice solve all your questions. The Wise One says that the fear of God teaches all that is good. Ask the Lord for such a mentor. The Word of God and the father will enlighten you, and conscience will take care of itself to excite and support you. Always have at hand both the Word of God and other patristic writings.

Reverend Isaiah:

Reveal your illnesses to your fathers in order to experience help from their advice.

Saint Silouan of Athos:

I think that without confession it is impossible for a confessor to get rid of delusion.

Venerable Macarius of Optina:

The one who thinks that he himself is content to guide himself is always imperfect, so another leader is needed, and not ourselves; we must never entrust ourselves with such leadership; we must consecrate our will to another leader and obey him.

Saint Mark the Ascetic:

The self-made man, who marches without the gospel knowledge and guidance, often stumbles and falls into many ditches and nets of the evil one, often errs and is subjected to great misfortunes and does not know where he will finally come. Many went through great deeds and great ones suffered God for the sake of labors and sweats, but self-commitment and imprudence ... made such labors unpleasant and vain for them.

Abba Dorotheos:

"The wise Solomon says in Proverbs: "Whoever has no direction, they fall like leaves; but salvation is in much counsel" (Prov. 11:14). Do you see, brethren, the power of his saying? Do you see what Holy Scripture teaches us? It exhorts us not to rely on ourselves, not to consider ourselves reasonable, not to believe that we can manage ourselves, for we need help, we need those who guide us according to God. God's. For what does it mean that it is said: "without control, they fall like leaves"? At first the leaf is always green, blooming and beautiful, then it gradually dries up, falls, and, finally, it is neglected and trampled on. So is a person who is not controlled by anyone, at first he always has zeal for fasting, vigilance, silence, obedience and other good deeds; then this zeal gradually cools, and he, having no one to instruct him, supported and ignited this zeal in him, like a leaf, insensitively dries up, falls and becomes finally, he becomes a subject and a slave of his enemies, and they do with him what they want.

As for those who reveal their thoughts and actions and do everything with advice, Scripture says: "Salvation ... is in much advice." He does not say: "in the council of many," that is, to consult with everyone, but what we must consult about everything, of course, with those in whom we have confidence, and not so as to say one thing and keep silent about the other, but to open everything and consult about everything; such is the true salvation "in much counsel." For if a person did not reveal everything that concerns him, and especially if he had a bad habit or was in a bad community, then the devil finds in him one (any) desire or one self-justification, and this overthrows him.

When the devil sees that someone does not want to sin, then he is not so unskilled in doing evil that he begins to inspire him with any obvious sins, and does not say to him: go, commit fornication, or go, steal; for he knows that we do not want this, and he does not consider it necessary to inspire us with what we do not want, but finds in us, as I said, one desire or one self-justification, and thus, under the guise of good, harms us.

… For when we hold on to our own will and follow our justifications, then, while apparently doing a good deed, we set up networks for ourselves and do not even know how we perish. For how can we comprehend the will of God or seek it if we believe in ourselves and keep to our own will? That is why Abba Pimen said that our will is a copper wall between man and God. Do you see the power of this saying? And he added: she is, as it were, a stone that opposes, opposes the will of God. ... the enemy already hates the very thing to ask someone or hear something useful; the very voice, the very sound of such words, he hates and turns away from them. And say why? He knows that his villainy will be revealed immediately, as soon as they begin to ask and talk about what is useful. And he hates nothing and is not afraid of anything more than to be recognized, because then he can no longer be cunning as he wants. For if the soul is affirmed by the fact that a person asks everything about himself and hears from someone experienced: “Do this, but do not do this; this is good, but this is not good; this is self-justification, this self-will,” and also hears: “Now do not time for this matter," and sometimes he hears: "Now is the time," then the devil does not find how to harm a person or how to overthrow him, because, as I have already said, he always consults and protects himself from all sides, and in this way the word is fulfilled on it: "Salvation is in much counsel."

Do you see why the enemy hates the "voice of affirmation"? Because it always wants our death. Do you see why he loves those who rely on themselves? Because they help the devil and intrigue themselves. I know of no other fall for a monk than when he trusts his heart. Some say: from that a man falls, or from that; and, as I said, I know of no other fall than this: when a man follows himself.

Have you seen the fallen one, know that he followed himself. There is nothing more dangerous, there is nothing more destructive than this.

Rev. Barsanuphius the Great:

The thought inspires me, - said the brother, - not to ask the saints: after all, I can find out the answer, but due to my weakness, neglect it and sin.

This thought, - the elder answered, - is the most terrible and destructive, do not accept it. If anyone knows and sins, he will always condemn himself. And if someone sins without knowing, he will never condemn himself and his passions will remain without healing. The devil inspires such thoughts so that a person remains unhealed.

Ancient Patericon:

"An old man said: If you go to the seller of incense, then even if you do not buy anything, you will still be saturated with the smell. So is the one who consults with the fathers: if he wants to make an effort, they will show him the path of humility, and he will have a stronghold against demonic attacks.

"The brother asked the old man:

Abba, I ask the elders, they give me advice about my soul, but I never listen to their words. So why should I ask them if I'm not doing anything? I after all so and remain the entire in vices.

And next to it were two light jugs.

Go, take one jar, - says the elder, - pour oil into it, rinse it, turn it over and put it back.

My brother did this once, and then again. Then he poured out the oil and put the jug where it stood.

And now, - the elder told him, - bring both jugs and see which one is cleaner.

The one, - said the brother, - into which I poured oil.

This is how the soul is, answered the elder. “Even if she doesn’t learn anything from what she asked (although I don’t think so), she is still cleaner than the one who didn’t ask at all.”

So, advice is necessary for a correct spiritual life, at the same time, it is not always possible to find a wise and experienced adviser: therefore it is important read the writings of the holy fathers in order to find the necessary instructions in their spirit-bearing words. Writes about it St. Ignatius (Bryanchaninov) who believed that obedience to the elders in the form in which it existed in antiquity is no longer given to our time due to the impoverishment of spirit-bearing mentors:

“Society, conversation with pious people bring significant benefits. But for advice, for guidance, it is not enough to be pious; one must have spiritual experience, and most of all, spiritual anointing. Such is the teaching of Scripture and the Fathers on this subject. A pious but inexperienced adviser is more likely to confuse than to benefit. Not only among the laity, but among the monastics it is extremely difficult to find an adviser who would, so to speak, measure and weigh the soul consulting with him, and from her, from her property, would give her advice. Today, counselors and leaders are more likely to give advice from themselves and from a book. And the first kind of advice, that one is especially useful and valid; he is close to the soul seeking shelter under the canopy of advice - her own; she feels it. St. Isaac said: “There is nothing more beneficial for everyone than his own advice.” And alien advice, although apparently consisting of good and reasonable words, brings only torment and frustration to the soul. She feels his incongruity, feels that he is a stranger to her. “Things,” says the Scripture, “those who pierce with words are like swords; but the tongues heal the wise” (Prov. 12:18).

Resort more to reading the Holy Fathers; let them guide you, remind you of virtue, guide you in the way of God. This way of living belongs to our times: it is commanded, given to us by the Holy Fathers of later centuries. Complaining about the extreme lack of God-enlightened mentors and advisers, they command the zealot of piety to be guided in his life by the writings of the fathers. “The council of the saints is understanding” (Prov. 9, 10).

“Great is your desire to be in complete obedience to an experienced mentor. But this feat is not given to our time. It does not exist not only in the midst of the Christian world, it does not even exist in monasteries. …

Our time has been given another feat, fraught with many difficulties and stumbling blocks. We had to make the journey, not by day, nor by clear sunlight, but by night, by the pale light of the moon and stars. We have been given sacred and holy Scripture for guidance: this is what the Holy Fathers of later times say directly. When guiding the Scriptures, the advice of neighbors is also useful, namely those who themselves are guided by the Scriptures of the Fathers.

“The Holy Fathers decreed that it is an indispensable rule for those who wish to be saved to follow the moral tradition of the Church. To do this, they command the one who wants to live piously and pleasingly to guide the instructions of a true teacher or the guidance of the writings of the fathers, corresponding to the way of life of each. After eight centuries after the Nativity of Christ, church holy writers begin to complain about the impoverishment of spiritual mentors, about the appearance of many false teachers. They command, because of the lack of mentors, to turn to reading the writings of the fathers, to move away from reading books written outside the bosom of the Orthodox Church. The further the times deviated from the manifestation of the Divine light on earth, the greater was the shortage of true holy teachers, the greater was the abundance of false teachers; Since the time of the discovery of printing, they have flooded the earth like a flood, like bitter apocalyptic waters, from which many people died spiritual death. “Many false prophets will arise,” the Lord foretold, “and many will deceive: and for the increase of iniquity, the love of many will dry up.” This prophecy has come true: its fulfillment before our eyes. …

So, the importance of counsel in the spiritual life cannot be overestimated. At the same time, the quality of advice, its correctness, benefit or harm depend on the experience of the adviser. Advice can save or destroy.

An ancient patericon tells about the spiritual harm that an inexperienced adviser can do to a neighbor:

“An old man said: someone, having fallen into a grave sin, repenting of it, went to open it to one old man. But he did not reveal the deeds to him, but said this: if such and such a thought comes to someone, can he have salvation?

The elder, being inexperienced in reasoning, said to him in response: you have ruined your soul.

Having heard this, the brother said: if I have destroyed myself, then I will already go into the world.

On the way, he happened to visit Abba Silouan and reveal his thoughts to him. And he was great at reasoning. But, having come to him, the brother did not open the case to him either, but again used the same cover, as in relation to another elder. The Father opened his mouth and began to tell him from the Scriptures that those who think are not subject to condemnation at all. Hearing this, the brother had strength and hope in his soul, and revealed to him the matter itself. After listening to the case, the father, like a good doctor, healed his soul with the words of the Holy Scriptures, which is repentance to those who turn to God with consciousness.

When the abba came to that elder, then, having told him about it, he said: this brother, who has lost hope and decided to go into the world, is, as it were, a star among the brethren. I told this so that we would know how dangerous it is to talk with people who are inexperienced in reasoning, whether about thoughts or about deeds.

Holy Synclitica:

“It is dangerous to teach others to a person who has not experienced an active life. For as one who has an old house, if he receives strangers, he can destroy them if the house falls; so also those who themselves did not first build a solid building destroyed with them those who came to them. For although with words they called for salvation, but with a bad life they harmed their followers more.

Abba Moses:

« The answer is about the rejection of modesty and the danger of the uncompassionate.

Abba Moses said: It is useful, as I said, not to hide your thoughts from your fathers; however, not everyone needs to be told, but revealed to the spiritual elders, who have prudence, gray-haired not from time. For many, trusting the years of the elder and revealing their thoughts, instead of healing, fell into despair due to the inexperience of their confessors.

There was one brother, very diligent, but, enduring cruel attacks from the demon of fornication, he came to an old man and told him his thoughts. He, being inexperienced, upon hearing this, was indignant at the brother who had such thoughts, calling him accursed and unworthy of the monastic image.

The brother, hearing this, despaired of himself and, leaving his cell, returned to the world. But by God's providence, Abba Apollos, the most experienced of the elders, met him; seeing his embarrassment and great sorrow, he asked him: my son! what is the cause of such grief? At first he did not answer from great despondency, but after many exhortations from the elder, he told him about his circumstances. Often, he said, thoughts confuse me; I went and opened to such and such an old man and, according to him, there is no hope for me to be saved; in desperation I go into the world.

Father Apollos, hearing this, consoled and admonished his brother for a long time, saying: do not be surprised, my son, and do not despair about yourself. I, being so old and gray-haired, suffer cruel attacks from these thoughts. So, do not be cowardly in such a temptation, which is healed not so much by human effort, but by the love of God. Just listen to me now, return to your cell. Brother did it.

Abba Apollos, having parted with him, went to the cell of the elder who had excommunicated his brother, and, standing near her, he prayed to God with tears like this: Lord! sending temptations for our benefit, send a brother to attack this elder, so that in his old age, by experience, he will learn what he has not learned for such a long time - he will learn how to sympathize with the slain devil.

After the end of the prayer, he sees an Ethiopian standing near the cell and throwing arrows at the old man. Stung by them, he hesitated as if from wine, and, unable to bear it, left the cell and went into the world in the same way that the younger brother had gone.

Abba Apollos, having learned this, went out to meet him and asked him: where are you going and what is the reason for your such embarrassment? He, thinking that the saint knew what had happened to him, from shame did not answer.

Then Abba Apollos said to him: return to your cell, from here know your weakness and consider yourself either previously unknown to the devil, or despised by him. For you were not worthy to go to war with him. What am I saying - to the war? You couldn't stand his attack for a single day. This happened to you because, having received your younger brother, who waged war against a common enemy, instead of encouraging him to a feat, plunged him into despair, without thinking about what the wise commandment requires: save those taken to death, and will you refuse those doomed to murder? (Prov. 24, 11); and even what the parable referring to our Savior says: a bruised reed he will not break, and smoking flax he will not quench (Matthew 12:20). For no one could stand against the treachery of the enemy and even extinguish the fiery movement of nature, if the grace of God did not help human weakness. And so, when this saving grace of God has been fulfilled, let us begin with common prayers to ask God to take away the scourge that has been stretched out on you. He strikes, and His own hands heal (Job 5:18); it mortifies and makes alive, brings down to hell and raises up, humiliates and exalts (1 Sam. 2, 6, 7).

Having said this and prayed, he immediately delivered him from the misfortune brought upon him and advised him to ask God to give the language of the wise, so that he could strengthen the exhausted with a word (Is. 50, 4).

From all that has been said, we learn that there is no other surest way to salvation than to open one’s thoughts to the most judicious fathers and have them guide to virtue, and not to follow one’s own thought and reasoning. And because of the inexperience, unskillfulness, simplicity of one or more, one should not be afraid to open one's thoughts to the most experienced fathers. For even they, not of their own accord, but by inspiration from God and the Divine Scriptures, commanded the younger to ask the elders.

Rev. John of the Ladder:

St. John Chrysostom:

"...says (the apostle)," reprove them severely, that they may be sound in the faith. , treacherous, gluttonous and careless, then a strong and accusatory word is needed for them: such a person cannot be touched by meekness. So, "reprove them." Here he speaks not of strangers, but of his own. strike them. For it is not necessary to treat all in the same way, but differently and in various ways, depending on the circumstances. In the present case, he nowhere resorts to exhortations, because just as by reproaching a man who is obedient and noble, you can kill him and destroy him, so by caressing a man in need of strong rebuke can be corrupted and not brought to correction... "That they may be sound," he says, "in the faith."

Holy Vladimir Sokolov writes about modern problems of the conversion of believers to inexperienced leaders:

“The temptation of young old age has existed at all times. Even the Apostle Paul, instructing Timothy, warned that a candidate for bishops "should not be of the new converts, lest he become proud and fall under condemnation with the devil" (1 Tim. 3:6). But the apostle himself, in a farewell conversation with the Ephesian presbyters, prophetically foreshadows: “I know that after my departure, fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and people will arise from yourselves who will speak perversely in order to drag the disciples after them. "(Acts 20, 29-30).

So, the temptation of false shepherds was active even when the Church lived by one Spirit and the believers "had one heart and one soul" (Acts 4:32). The era of the apostolic Church is a time of special gifts of grace, manifested both in pastors and in the flock. Later, with the influx of a huge number of new converts and the natural lowering of the spiritual and moral requirements for them, there was already a noticeable impoverishment of these initial gifts. Therefore, the most zealous Christians, thirsting for a genuine spiritual life, began to flee to the desert, where they could fully devote themselves to God. Some of the ascetics achieved such perfection that they completely got rid of passions, received, first of all, the gift of love, and with it the gift of spiritual understanding and insight. In dispassion, the will of God was revealed to them. Naturally, such vessels of grace attracted the attention of those who were looking for a way to salvation. Knowing that the Will of God was revealed to these spiritual ascetics, many asked them for guidance in their spiritual life...

This is how this practice of complete obedience to the spiritual elder was born ... such obedience is really the fulfillment of the will of God, and not the will of man.

However, over time, there were fewer and fewer such impassive mentors, and the experience of complete obedience, having spread widely, gradually became meaningless, because the main thing disappeared from it: the Will of God revealed to the spiritual elder.

Saint Ignatius (Bryanchaninov), who did a great deal of work in studying and comprehending the experience of shepherding and confessorship, believed that such obedience was possible only in antiquity. But even in antiquity such elders, he wrote, "always had an insignificant number" ...

But we, having read the literature about the Optina elders, are still looking for confessors for ourselves, whom we could trust in blind obedience. However, even the experience of obedience among the Optina elders is very different from the ancient experience. The ancient spirituality was widespread among the monastics and was possible only when the elder and the novice lived together. The Optina elders gave advice to the laity who came to them; the very form of such communication precluded rigid, unconditional obedience. In addition, the Optina elders were extremely careful in deciding someone's fate: they often left the choice to the spiritual child. So, among the Russian elders, we do not observe blind copying of the experience of the ancient fathers, but its creative application in accordance with the spiritual needs of the new era. … the clergy of the ancient fathers was fundamentally different from the modern one. When the experience of the ancient fathers is transferred without creative reflection to other conditions, extending it to almost any parish priest, this leads to deplorable results.

... In December 1998, the Holy Synod was forced to adopt a special ruling on this issue. “Some clergy,” it says, “who received from God in the Sacrament of the Priesthood the right to spiritual leadership of the flock, believe that such a right means undivided power over the souls of people. respect and trust, such shepherds transfer the purely monastic concept of unquestioning obedience of the novice to the elder to the relationship between the layman and his spiritual father, intrude into the internal issues of the personal and family life of the parishioners, subjugate the flock to themselves, forgetting about the God-given freedom to which all Christians are called (Gal. 5, 13) Such unacceptable methods of spiritual guidance in some cases turn into a tragedy for the flock who transfers his disagreement with the confessor to the Church. Such people leave the Orthodox Church and often become easy prey for sectarians."

7. About a prudent attitude towards the choice of a spiritual leader

The Holy Fathers teach you to choose your spiritual leader without haste, after careful testing and with great reasoning, comparing his advice with the Holy Scriptures and patristic instructions, so as not to fall "instead of a helmsman into a simple rower", instead of a shepherd into a "deceiver and false teacher" and "instead of a pier into the abyss, and thus not find ready destruction."

Saint John of the Ladder:

“When we ... wish ... to entrust our salvation to another, then even before our entry on this path, if we have any insight and reasoning, we must consider, experience and, so to speak, to tempt this helmsman, so as not to fall instead of a helmsman into a simple rower, instead of a doctor into a patient, instead of a passionless person with passions, instead of a pier into the abyss, and thus not find ready death.

Saint Ignatius (Bryanchaninov), believing that due to the impoverishment of the spirit-bearing fathers, complete obedience to a spiritual leader is not given to our time, he warned against the unreasonable choice of a spiritual mentor, from addiction to him and blind obedience to any advice:

“Great is your desire to be in complete obedience to an experienced mentor. But this feat is not given to our time. It does not exist not only in the midst of the Christian world, it does not even exist in monasteries. Mortification of the mind and will cannot be done by a person of the soul, even if he is kind and pious. For this, a spirit-bearing father is necessary: ​​only before a spirit-bearer can the disciple's soul be revealed; only he can see from where and where the spiritual movements of the one he instructs are directed. The disciple, for the purity of his conscience, must confess his thoughts with precision and detail; but the teacher should not be guided by this confession in judging the mental state of the student; he must penetrate with a spiritual sensation, measure him, and tell him the state of his soul that he cannot see. This is how Pachomius the Great, Theodore the Sanctified and other holy mentors of the monks acted. Theodore the Sanctified was told by the disciples: “Father! rebuke me!” - and he, moved by the Holy Spirit, revealed to everyone the spiritual ailments hidden in him. These great Fathers recognized “monastic obedience” as a special gift of the Holy Spirit: this is what the writer of his day, the Monk Cassian, narrates. Obedience is the “miracle of faith”! Only God can do it. And it was done by those people to whom this gift from Above was given by God. But when people want to achieve by their own efforts what is given only by God, then their labors are vain and in vain; then they are like the builders of the pillar mentioned in the Gospel, who begin the building without the means to complete it. All passing, i.e. demons and passions, they laugh at him, because outwardly they seem to be doing virtue, but in essence they are in bitter deceit, in blindness and self-delusion, subject to their passions, doing the will of demons. And many thought to pass obedience! but in fact it turned out that they were fulfilling their whims, were carried away by excitement. Happy is he who, in his old age, manages to shed a tear of repentance on the passions of his youth. The Lord said about blind leaders and those who are led by them: “But if a blind man leads a blind man, they will both fall into a pit” (Mt. 15:14).

Our time has been given another feat, fraught with many difficulties and stumbling blocks. We had to make the journey, not by day, nor by clear sunlight, but by night, by the pale light of the moon and stars. We have been given sacred and holy Scripture for guidance: this is what the Holy Fathers of later times say directly. When guiding the Scriptures, the advice of neighbors is also useful, namely those who themselves are guided by the Scriptures of the Fathers. Do not think that our feat was devoid of sorrows and crowns: no! it is associated with martyrdom. This martyrdom is like the languishing of Lot in Sodom: the soul of the righteous languished at the sight of incessant and unbridled fornication. And we are languishing, surrounded on all sides by minds that have violated their loyalty to the truth, entered into a fornication with lies, infected with hatred against the writings inspired by God, armed with blasphemy, slander and mockery of hell. Our feat has a price before God: our weakness, and our means, and circumstances, and the time itself are weighed on His scales. Some great Father had the following vision: before him, the earthly life of people was depicted as a sea. He saw that the ascetics of the early days of monasticism were given fiery wings, and they were transported like lightning through the sea of ​​passions. Wings were not given to the ascetics of the last times: they began to cry on the seashore. Then they were given wings, but not fiery ones, but some kind of weak ones: they rushed across the sea. On their way, because of the weakness of their wings, they often plunged into the sea; rising with difficulty from it, they again began their journey, and finally, after many efforts and disasters, they flew over the sea.

Let's not be discouraged! let us not recklessly strive for brilliant feats that exceed our strength, let us accept with reverence a humble feat that is very much in line with our weakness, given, as it were, visibly by the hand of God. Let us accomplish this feat with fidelity to the holy Truth - and in the midst of the world, a noisy, countless crowd, striving along a wide, spacious path following self-willed rationalism, we will go to God along the path of narrow obedience to the Church and the Holy Fathers. Not many follow this path? - What up to that! The Savior said: “Do not be afraid, little flock: for your Father was pleased to give you a kingdom. Enter through the narrow gates: as a spacious gate and a wide path, lead into destruction, and multiply the essence of those who enter them. What a narrow gate and a strait way, enter into the stomach, and there are few of them, and they find it ”(Luke 12, 32; Matt. 7, 13-14)”.

“Let your heart belong to the one Lord, and in the Lord to your neighbor. Without this condition, belonging to a person is scary. Do not be a servant of a man,” said the apostle.

The words of St. John the Baptist, spoken by him regarding the Lord and himself, preserved for us in the Gospel of John: “Have a bride,” says the holy Forerunner, “there is a groom: and the friend of the grooms, standing and listening to him, rejoices with joy for the voice of the grooms: this is my joy be fulfilled. It is fitting for him to grow, but for me to shrink” (John 3:29-30).

Every spiritual mentor should only be a servant of the Heavenly Bridegroom, should lead souls to Him, and not to himself, should proclaim to them about the infinite, indescribable beauty of Christ, about His immeasurable goodness and power: let them love Christ, as if they were worthy of love. And let the mentor, like the great and humble Baptist, stand aside, recognize himself as nothing, rejoice in his belittling before his disciples, a belittling that serves as a sign of their spiritual progress. As long as the fleshly feeling prevails in the disciples, their teacher is great before them; but when a spiritual sensation appears in them and Christ is magnified in them, they see in their mentor only the beneficent weapon of God.

Guard against attachment to a mentor. Many did not take heed and fell, together with their mentors, into the net of the devil. Advice and obedience are pure and pleasing to God only as long as they are not defiled by addiction. Addiction makes a beloved person an idol: God turns away with anger from the sacrifices made to this idol. And life is wasted in vain, good deeds perish, like fragrant incense, carried by a strong whirlwind or drowned out by a stinking stench. Don't give any idol a place in your heart."

“A distinctive feature of all the Holy Fathers was the steady guidance of the moral tradition of the Church, and they commanded that only such a spiritual mentor be considered true, who follows in everything the teaching of the Fathers of the Eastern Church and testifies and imprints his teaching through their writings. Whoever thinks to lead his neighbors from the beginnings of earthly wisdom, and from the beginnings of the fallen mind, no matter how brilliant he may be, he himself is in self-deception and leads his followers to self-deception. The Holy Fathers decreed that an indispensable rule for those who wish to be saved is to follow the moral tradition of the Church. To do this, they command the one who wants to live piously and pleasingly to guide the instructions of the true teacher or the guidance of the scriptures of the fathers, corresponding to the way of life of everyone. After eight centuries after the Nativity of Christ, church holy writers begin to complain about the impoverishment of spiritual mentors, about the appearance of many false teachers. They command, because of the lack of mentors, to turn to reading the writings of the fathers, to move away from reading books written outside the bosom of the Orthodox Church. The further the times deviated from the manifestation of the Divine light on earth, the greater was the shortage of true holy teachers, the greater was the abundance of false teachers; Since the time of the discovery of printing, they have flooded the earth like a flood, like bitter apocalyptic waters, from which many people died spiritual death. “Many false prophets will arise,” the Lord foretold, “and many will deceive: and for the increase of iniquity, the love of many will dry up.” This prophecy has come true: its fulfillment before our eyes. …

... Faith in man leads to frenzied fanaticism. The guidance of the writings of the Holy Fathers is much slower, weaker; there are many more stumbling blocks along the way: a book drawn on paper cannot replace a living human book. A wonderful book - the mind and heart, written with the Holy Spirit! so life breathes out of it! thus is this life communicated to those who hear in faith. But the guidance of the writings of the fathers has already become the only guide to salvation through the final impoverishment of mentors. Whoever obeys this guidance can be recognized as already saved; but whoever is led by his own understanding, or by the teaching of false teachers, must be recognized as lost.”

St. Theophan the Recluse:

""Beware of false prophets" (Rom. 4, 4-12; Matt. 7, 15-21). From the beginning of Christianity until now there has not been a time when this warning would not have an application. The Lord did not indicate exactly which false prophets to beware of ", for how to define them? They change like fashion, and every time gives rise to their own. They always appear in sheep's clothing, with an air of benevolence in actions and with a ghost of truth in speeches. In our time, their clothes are sewn from progress, civilization, enlightenment, freedom of thoughts and deeds, personal conviction that does not accept faith, and the like. All this is a flattering cover. Therefore, when you meet an exhibition of this clothing, do not rush to open your ear to the speeches of the prophets dressed in it. Take a closer look, if the wolf is hiding under this sheep Know that the Lord is the only mover to true perfection, the only softener of hearts and morals, the only enlightener, the only one who gives freedom and fills the heart with sensations of truth, giving conviction that nothing in the world can strongly shake. If you notice in the speeches of the new prophets any shadow of contradiction to the teachings of the Lord, know that these are predatory wolves, and turn away from them.

Venerable Simeon the New Theologian:

“With prayers and tears, implore God to send you a passionless and holy leader. Also, study the Divine Scriptures yourself, especially the practical writings of the Holy Fathers, so that, comparing with them what your teacher and primate teaches you, you can see it, as in a mirror, and compare, and take inward and hold in accord with the Divine Scriptures. thoughts, but to reveal and discard the false and alien, so as not to be deceived. For know that in these days there are many deceivers and false teachers.”

Rev. John of the Ladder:

I saw an unskillful doctor who dishonored a sickly mournful person and did nothing more for him, as soon as he plunged him into despair. I also saw a skillful doctor who cut an arrogant heart with humiliation and extracted from it all the stinking pus.

Saint Macarius the Great:

“There are souls who have become partakers of Divine grace ... at the same time, due to a lack of active experience, remaining, as it were, in childhood, in a very unsatisfactory state ... which is required and delivered by true asceticism. ... In the monasteries, the saying is used about such elders: "holy, but not skillful," and caution is observed in consulting with them ... so as not to hastily and frivolously trust the instructions of such elders.

8. How to find a spiritual mentor?

St. Theophan the Recluse wrote about the fact that a Christian may not find a spiritual father:

“A real leader, as you define him, is not to be found. Elder of God Paisius, half a century ago, was looking for a leader all his life, and did not find ... "

Therefore, it is important for us to read the Holy Scriptures and the writings of the Holy Fathers in order to be guided by them in life, and, in particular, if we meet a confessor with whom we would like to become a spiritual child, we would have solid grounds for a judicious solution of this issue. And of course, we must pray to God that He would give us a spiritual father.

Archim. John (Krestyankin) advised:

“I can no longer become a confessor for anyone due to my senile infirmity. And you, for starters, begin to be guided by the books of St. Theophan the Recluse Vyshensky. It's more reliable. And pray to the Lord to give you a confessor. But do not rush to call the first priest you meet a spiritual father.

Go to church, confess, ask many people about questions that concern you, and only when you realize that out of many there is one closest to your soul, you will turn only to him.

God bless you!"

Schema. Eli (Nozdrev) answers the question:

«– So what should a person do who has just come to the Church and is looking for his confessor? How to make the right choice?

– It is important to remember that our world lies in evil, we are all sinners after the fall of Adam, and here every person, every confessor also has his own sins. There is never a complete ideal.

Indeed, there are people of great knowledge and spiritual experience to whom one can go under spiritual guidance. However, you need to choose carefully, understanding that even a very good confessor may, for some reason, not suit you personally. Even a very erudite and experienced confessor may not be suitable according to some purely human criteria, and it will be difficult for you to build your relationship, so it is important to evaluate everything, including human compatibility.

And besides, I would like to recall what Theophan the Recluse said about the beginning of a person's spiritual life. What is the Kingdom of Heaven? This is communion with God, the purity of the soul and the grace of God. To cleanse oneself of one's sins and personally turn to God is the main thing for which a person comes to the Church. And if a person has learned repentance, a change of soul and prayer, then he will be able to live with any confessor, act on his own, independently make a choice in favor of good, strive for it. If he has not learned, no confessor will help him.”

Archimandrite Avgustin Pidanov writes about the qualities a spiritual father of a Christian should have:

“You know, there is nothing more difficult than to struggle with your passions and infirmities. And without struggle there is no spiritual life. And just imagine what experience a confessor needs to have in order to be the confessor of not one person, but several at once! Where and how to learn to see the soul? This is a great gift! Do you think that someone who has received the gift of the priesthood can already be a confessor? Far from it. The gift of the priesthood is absolutely not the gift of confessorship, these are different things. The priest in the temple, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, is not always a confessor. Many of them are being ordained now, young ones who have just come from the seminary. They become priests, but they still have little experience.

A confessor is someone who can instruct someone who has come a long way. This should be a person experienced in the spiritual life, one who leads a spiritual lifestyle or at least tries to embody the ideals of the Gospel in his life, tries to fulfill the commandments, gains experience in the fight against passions. A true confessor, so authoritative that whatever he says, you must certainly fulfill and do just that - there are no such people now. Finding a confessor in the image of those ancients is now almost impossible. There is such an expression "oscude reverend." “Oskudeh” means a small, meager number of people of a holy life.”

Archpriest Vyacheslav Tulupov advises those who wish to find a spirit-bearing leader at all costs:

“If a person unreasonably persists in looking for an old man, he may mistake a false old man for one, to whom unclean spirits will lead him. … Now look for a good spiritual father. Obedience to him is not unconditional. Therefore, if your preceptor suddenly turns out to be unskilled in spiritual guidance, you will not suffer much harm. With complete obedience to the false elder, the damage done to you may be irreparable.

9. Attitude towards the spiritual father

As already mentioned, with the obligatory trust and respect of a Christian to the spiritual father, our time does not know absolute, without reasoning, obedience to the spiritual father, complete cutting off of one's will.

St. Theophan the Recluse remarks:

“The leader is a pillar on the road, and everyone must walk the road himself and also look at his feet and around.”

Archim. John (Krestyankin):

“Dear in the Lord A.!

I think that you misunderstand the appointment of a spiritual father.

Does a father live for his child? So the spiritual father is only your assistant, adviser and prayer book, giving a blessing to the proposal you have considered. After all, even in monasteries there is no such invented obedience for monks.”

“I grew up in a different environment and in my whole life I have not come into contact with spiritual dictate and substitution of concepts. Now your letter is not an isolated one. Yes, and there are already quite a few letters with the end result of such spiritual work.

God grant that both you and Father F. would rather appreciate the God-given the gift of spiritual freedom and would appreciate it. This in no way violates the spiritual relationship between the confessor and the child, if they are completely healthy.”

Schema. Eli (Nozdrev) writes about the relationship of the spiritual leader and his child:

“Prayer, turning to God should be combined with education, gaining knowledge and changes in a person’s daily life.

And just these changes should be directed by the confessor, but in itself he will not give much to a person if he is not ready to accept. The confessor can explain something, but, as it is said in the gospel parable, the sower sows, and then sparrows and jackdaws fly in, peck the grains and the person again remains empty. A person and his confessor must cooperate, act as co-workers of each other. Only then will it be possible to talk about the true spiritual growth of a person. …

Of course, it is necessary to encourage a person to change, it is necessary to correct and direct, but at the same time, in no case should the personality be suppressed. …

It is also important not to forget in your trust in a person to independently evaluate what is happening. It is necessary to correlate the words of the confessor with the words of the Gospel, with the teaching of the Fathers of the Church, with its conciliar decisions, which are important to study and understand. No authority of the confessor can block them. …

A person must maintain his will and make his own decisions. Because only the person himself can make the final choice in his soul.

Archpriest Vladislav Sveshnikov warns against "enthusiasm for confessors":

“I can say that I am inclined to treat modern clergy with some caution. Having been brought up from a young church age on the appropriate caution of St. Ignatius (Bryanchaninov), who turned out to be the first spiritual writer ... Sometimes in his letters one hears not just a precaution, but he directly says: “Beware of being carried away by confessors.” ... Even then, he began to see the possible and most common ... distortions of the right order and the right relationship.

What can we say about how often the addictions to the confessor work subtly, and the confessor not only does not notice these addictions, but also continues to cultivate them in relation to himself on the part of spiritual children. This is how idols grow in the eyes of spiritual children, this is how the whole undertaking of confession perishes. Especially when it tries to be built on some principles that are outwardly connected with the feelings of the ancient priesthood, with the feelings of its significance.

And then it seems to people that they come to the real primary sources of spiritual life, which are manifested in the priest and in their relationship with this priest. But in fact - one caricature and disgrace, because these confessors do not have the high gifts that the ancient holy fathers had. And the demand for obedience that comes from them and is often perceived by spiritual children as devotion, in fact, for the most part, is not based on anything.

Obedience is sometimes considered obligatory even in those cases when it comes to everyday life, when they ask for advice in everyday matters. And then, with complete categoricality, such confessors give advice right and left. As if each of them, at least Ambrose of Optina ...

But it is even worse when confessors “take on a role,” and these are again the words of St. superficially, if not erroneously, and thus turn out to be blind leaders of the blind led. And "if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into the pit."

But it certainly does not follow from this that the experience of spiritual guidance, when it is at its simplest, is generally useless. On the contrary, the simpler and more undemanding, and more undemanding on both sides, the relationship between the spiritual child and confessor, the more likely the success of this work. If a confessor is humble enough, has a good moral experience of life, great inner firmness… then even by his appearance and behavior he sometimes teaches more (without even striving for any kind of teaching) than the seemingly great confessors of the present time teach with pompous words.

And besides, he gradually brings their communion to the most important thing, that both gradually enter into the true and simple experience of the Christian life. This experience is more or less corrected by the communication of both of them with each other, because mistakes are still possible on both sides. For example, in the form of incorrect spiritual advice, or because the priest did not see some of the personal characteristics of the one who approached him, or, even after seeing, did not realize an alternative answer, which in some situation would have turned out to be more correct.

... If the spiritual father, being a proud person and completely unaware of his mistakes, continues to insist on his mistake, there can be very great harm.

10. About the change of the spiritual father

St. Theophan the Recluse in his letters, as a rule, does not advise changing the spiritual leader, but in some cases, connected with an undoubted spiritual benefit, he considers such a change acceptable, but insists that this be done with every tact so as not to offend the priest:

“You wrote to me in vain. You should have asked your confessor, of course, Fr. John. Asking for advice here and there is not approving. An adviser to all, appointed by God, a confessor, who is usually a parish priest.

“Permission in the sacrament of penance is a real permit, no matter who performs it. For the Lord Himself listens to confession through the ears of a spiritual father, and He allows it through the mouth of a spiritual father. My permission is superfluous and the Lord is not pleased: for it means your unbelief in the power of the sacrament, and you give work to the Lord, seeking from Him a new permission.

“A confessor is more likely to be a leader. And it's better not to change it».

"First question - is it possible to change the spiritual father? Cabinet answer: who knits? This matter is a matter of conscience; before whom the soul is revealed, everyone should go to him. See what a quick and smooth decision! But in reality, there may be obstacles, also conscientious, and not small. You can't jump over, no matter how you run. The confessor of many years is abandoned. After all, you can’t hide this?! And when he notices, he will feel that he is being beaten on the cheeks. Whose conscience would tolerate this? Therefore, there is nothing to think about change.

The question is: how to be? The other speaks sweeter and the soul clings to him. This is something I can't decide. Is that how? Separate the confessor from the adviser. He who speaks better, let him be an adviser; and a confessor is a confessor. Let's sort this out for ourselves."

" If you please, remember their lessons and do not stop directing yourself along them without being embarrassed if any of the new teachers says something that does not agree with them. Moscow is one, but there are many roads to it, and each one leads to it. But if someone is heading along one road, for example. Petersburg, then hearing that there is a Smolensk road there, he will leave his own and go to this one, and from this one to Kaluga, and from Kaluga to Vladimir, from Vladimir to Yaroslavl, all because knowledgeable people talk about those roads, then he will never reach to Moscow. Similarly, in the spiritual life there is a bright city where everyone strives, and the roads to it are different, and everyone can reach it. But start changing roads, even if at the direction of those who know, it’s not very surprising that you won’t get to that city".

"Regarding the change of confessor, I did not make out who the confessor for the whole deanery of choice is: cold or hot? I used to think that the cold one is the chosen one; but your last letter suggests that it is hot. If so, then you have nothing it was from the very beginning to delay, and as soon as the choice was made, then fall behind one, and stick to the other without any explanation: for the general order demanded it.
But if cold - chosen; then do as you decide."

Archim. John (Krestyankin):

“God's blessing determined you as a spiritual father - father Z. So do not look for others as advisers on your own initiative! Otherwise, there will be temptations and you will split in two. The goal is one, but the paths are many. Everything your soul needs will be given to you by your spiritual father.”

“Dear in the Lord T.!

But this is not done - to ask for advice and blessings from all confessors in a row. Here is the first blessing, which they decided to fulfill, was from Fr. K. Now go to him again and tell him what happened to you, and ask him for help.

Holy Konstantin Parkhomenko:

“In those days, when the tradition of spiritual guidance was just emerging, there was no obligatory rule to have one confessor-mentor throughout life. …

But already in those days, the elders saw the following problem: to change the confessor meant to change the spiritual tradition. A new abba and new requirements regarding prayer, fasting, ascetic deeds, and many other things, everything that makes up the complex of the spiritual life of an ascetic. Is it reasonable? …

A separate question is about the confessor of worldly people. We know that the tradition of having a confessor for every Christian came from monasticism. Today it has become an undoubted rule that a Christian should have one spiritual father. Just as it is irreplaceable for a monk, it is also irreplaceable for a layman. Why is that? people ask.

Is it possible to move to another confessor if my confessor devotes little time to me? If it seems to me that my confessor is not as smart or spiritual as some other priest and so on?

Let's see how the holy fathers resolved this issue. And they said that the confessor is best ... not to change. I'm talking specifically about the confessor, and not about a random priest with whom you confessed several times in a row. If there is a confessor, a person who “gave birth” to you in faith, instructed and taught you the basics, helped you overcome trials or temptations, you should not leave him, change him for another, without the most valid reasons.

1. The confessor can be changed if he falls into heresy and teaches his children heretical things. But, of course, to make a decision whether the confessor teaches heresy or not, you should not yourself, but after consulting with wiser mentors.

To the question: what should a novice do if heresy has arisen in the area where he lives and he is afraid of being infected with it, and his abba does not want to leave this place, St. John the Prophet (beginning of the 7th century) answers: “The novice must migrate alone “for the fear of God and with the advice of the spiritual fathers.”

2. A confessor can be changed if he teaches things that are contrary to Christian morality and common sense.

Some time ago, before Lent, I talked with a woman who had a severe stomach ulcer. This woman trembled because, without the permission of her confessor, she came to talk to me. She said that the justification for her boldness is that, in a sense, she also considers me her mentor, since she has been listening to my radio broadcasts for many years and is being edified through them.

Her confessor was uncompromising in the matter of fasting and blessed his children on the first and veneration weeks of Lent, as well as to spend Holy Week on bread and water, and on other days not eat at all. Last year, a woman after such "spiritual exercises" ended up in the hospital. With horror anticipating the onset of a new Great Lent, she asked her confessor for relief, but she heard: “It is better to die than break Great Lent.”

Of course, the confessor of this kind parishioner went to extremes. Orthodox tradition has never approved fasting at the expense of health. Moreover, according to church canons, if a fasting person brings himself to such a state that he dies, it was instructed not to bury him as a suicide...

Another time a woman came to me in complete despair. Her confessor, "father near Pskov," blessed her to sell the apartment and give the money to restore the temple. “But what about me, with three children ...” “God will feed!” - answered the confessor.

And what can we say about the whole "direction" of confessorship, when an apocalyptic confessor blesses the spiritual children not to accept a new passport, TIN, pension certificate and other documents. These people leave their jobs, get jobs as loaders, janitors (if they get one) or don't work at all. Their families break up or drag out a beggarly existence... Recently, being in Kyiv, I got acquainted with a sad example of such "clergy". There was a priest and a large, devoted and sincerely loving flock. The spiritual father preached with inspiration about the approaching end of the world, about the Antichrist, and did not bless them to accept a Ukrainian passport and other documents. So his children did, quitting their jobs and refusing all documents. And so, this priest suddenly died. His parishioners were confused. Without moral, at least, support, without work, without means of subsistence ... The person who told me all this was one of “the children of Fr. N." - as they called themselves. In the past, he was a musician in an orchestra. Now, like the last 5 years, he is unemployed.

And, of course, you need to be critical of the opinions of unfamiliar priests.. One day, two young people, a boy and a girl, came up to me in extreme desperation. They walked around the city and went into one of the small churches in St. Petersburg. The gray-bearded priest approached them, looked at the young people and ... blessed them to marry.

“We weren't going to, we're just friends...”, the unlucky pilgrims babbled, but the priest said that he didn't want to listen to anything either. This is his command - to marry.

But in a controversial case, if the confessor’s advice seems to be contrary to common sense, you can also talk with another priest you know.”

11. The sacraments performed by a clergyman are always valid, unless he is prohibited from serving or defrocked.

Sometimes people, seeing the real or imaginary sins of a priest, doubt whether the sacraments performed by him are real. To this one can answer that it is not for us to condemn others, whether laity or priests, and in particular, the judgment of a priest belongs to the bishop. And if the priest is not prohibited by him from serving, then all the sacred actions performed by him are valid and grace-filled. The Holy Fathers write about this and Sacred Tradition narrates.

St. John Chrysostom:

If a priest teaches the right, do not look at his life, but listen to his teaching. And don't tell me why he teaches me, but he doesn't do it himself? - He has the duty to teach everyone, and if he does not fulfill, for this he will be condemned by the Lord, and if you do not listen to him, you will also be condemned. If the law does not teach, then do not listen to him, even if he were like an angel in life, and if the law teaches, then look not at his life, but at his teaching. It is not the business of the sheep, brethren, to blaspheme the shepherd; he does service for you and for your brethren every day; morning and evening in church and outside the church, God prays for you. Reflect on all this and honor him as a father. But you will say: "He is sinful and evil." What's your business? If a good man prays for you, what will it profit you if you are unfaithful? And if you are faithful, then his unworthiness will not harm you in the least. Grace is given from God: the priest only opens his mouth, but God does everything.

Rev. Efrem Sirin:

If we really saw before us a shepherd with weaknesses, then even then we should beware of the sin of condemning him: whether he is worthy or unworthy is not our business, but we will not suffer any loss from this. Just as a bright cloud does not suffer harm if it is covered with dirt, as well as the purest beads, if it touches some impure and filthy things, so, like this, and the priesthood is not made defiled by a person, even if he who received it was unworthy.

Ancient Patericon:

“They told about Abba Mark of Egypt: he lived for thirty years without leaving his cell. A presbyter used to come to him and make an offering for him.

The devil, seeing the strong patience of the husband, plotted to tempt him, and inspired one possessed man to go to the old man, as if for prayer. - The sufferer, before any word, shouted to the elder, saying:

"Your presbyter is a sinner; don't let him go to you anymore."

Abba Mark said to him: "My son, the Scripture says: "Judge not, lest you be judged" (Matt. 7:1). However, if he is a sinner, the Lord will forgive him - I myself am a sinner, more than he ".

Having said this, he made a prayer, cast out a demon from a man, and healed him. When, as usual, the presbyter came, the elder received him with joy.

And God, seeing the gentleness of the elder, showed him a certain sign, for when the presbyter intended to start the Holy Meal, “I saw,” said the elder himself, “an angel descending from heaven,” he laid his hand on the head of the presbyter, “and this one became blameless, standing at the holy offering like a pillar of fire. When I was surprised at this vision, I heard a voice saying to me: “Why are you amazed, man, at this phenomenon? will not allow the servants of the Holy Mysteries to stand vile before heavenly glory?"

And blessed Mark was worthy of such a sign because he did not condemn the presbyter.

Rev. Joseph Volotsky, who devoted a lot of strength to the fight against the heresy of the Judaizers, once received from the icon painter Theodosius, the son of Dionysius, news of a blatant case of blasphemy by a heretic priest.

In the life of Rev. Joseph Volotsky this story is given:

“At that time, the painter Theodosius, the son of the painter Dionysius the Wise, told Joseph (Volotsky) the following miracle. One of the Judaizing heretics repented; they believed him and even made him a priest. Once, having served the liturgy, he brought home a bowl with the Holy Gifts and poured them into the oven on fire. At that time, his wife was cooking food and saw in the oven on fire "a small boy", who said: "You betrayed me here to the fire, and I will betray you there." At the same time, the roof of the house suddenly parted, two large birds flew in and took the boy and flew into the sky; and the roof again covered the hut, as before. The wife was in great fear and horror. She told her neighbors about this event.

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Instruction

You should start looking for a mentor only if you are already firmly convinced that you need one. In order not to make a mistake in the choice, you must first pray. Then God himself will help you in your search and will certainly lead to the one that is most suitable for this role.

Priests in the Church can be divided into two categories: those who are quite strict in matters of church discipline (observance of all rites, services, fasts, prayers, etc.), and those who are a little softer and more flexible with their "children" . It is also necessary to take into account these parameters when choosing a spiritual father. If you are going to strictly follow all the traditions and customs, then you need to look for a confessor among the first group of clergy. These, as a rule, will be monks, abbots or archimandrites. If you have a family, and you do not want to delve too deeply into religious issues, then your choice will fall on the second group. Here the priests are also family people, and among them are mainly priests and archpriests.

As soon as you choose a suitable priest, you need to arrange a personal meeting with him and already at it ask him to take on the duties of your spiritual father. At the same time, you can agree with him on the date of the first confession. If you were able to find such a person from whom a feeling of warmth and a kindred spirit emanates, then you are very lucky. After all, it is this person who will take care of your peace of mind and ask the Lord for mercy for you.

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How to find a confessor. Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov) says that “a spiritual father must be sought according to the disposition of one's soul. When you trust your spiritual father in everything, and your heart opens up before him, you trust the secrets of your soul, you can reveal it to him. In this case, you choose such a confessor that he will speak freely with you, so that you can calmly entrust your innermost secrets to him.

Useful advice

How to find a spiritual father? If someone sincerely and wholeheartedly seeks salvation, God will lead him to a true mentor ... Do not worry - he will always find his own. Before looking for an experienced confessor, you must yourself, as they say, “wipe your eyes”, put in your heart the desire to be a good Christian - to have a firm faith, be an obedient member of the Holy Church, fight your evil habits and then pray fervently that The Lord helped you find a spiritual father, and you will certainly find him...

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• How to find a spiritual father?

The path of life can be very complex and tortuous. Step aside - and it is easy to find yourself flying into the abyss. In order not to get lost in this bizarrely arranged world, people accept spiritual teachers, mentors, or simply focus on the experience of those they trust.

Instruction

From among the preachers or priests, choose a person you trust. Before approaching this person for spiritual guidance, observe him. See how his words match his actions. Perhaps this person will not be a clergyman at all, but simply a wise person who inspires you.

Learn more about this person's biography. How did he come to his current position (he became a priest, a spiritual leader, just a wise person). If this path seems to you true, interesting, worthy of imitation - this will be another reason to ask for mentorship.

Ask this person questions about the meaning of a person's life, about his individual path. The answers may not match your expectations. They may even upset you. But the main task of a spiritual mentor is not to delight the student's ears with "sweet songs", but to convey the Truth to him. Therefore, it is worth thinking about which person will be more useful to you as a spiritual mentor: a pleasant and leading soul-saving conversation or a real spiritual warrior who can break your usual ideas about the world and turn you to the Truth.

Ask this person if they are ready to act as your spiritual guide? The ritual of "appeal to the teacher" itself is necessary. This form of establishing a "teacher-student" relationship has been practiced since ancient times in the East, when a person humbly asks the teacher to accept him as a student.

You need to discuss with the person you have chosen as your mentor whether they are ready to take on this responsibility and give you guidance about life, sorting out your successes and failures on the path to "enlightenment", however you define it for yourself.

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Remember that a spiritual mentor and a psychotherapist are two different things. A spiritual mentor does not deal with your psychological problems. His task is to elevate your life by his example and instructions, to give it a higher meaning.

Useful advice

Do not rush to accept a spiritual mentor out of a desire to follow a fashion or imitate someone from the people.

The decision to accept a spiritual mentor should be a balanced and natural one for you.

Each of us has experienced situations in life when someone's good advice and support was extremely needed. And if you are afraid to entrust something intimate to relatives and friends, then in such cases, at the call of your heart, you can turn to the church, to the priest.