How suicidal Christians are buried. Why suicides cannot be buried in a cemetery and other prohibitions. Radonitsa is a special Orthodox holiday

A special day is approaching - April 30 - Radonitsa or Radunitsa. Our Slavic ancestors called this day Rodonitsa. There are other similar names for this day. Radonitsa is a day of special commemoration of the dead, a special memorial day. This day has been distinguished in many nations, since ancient times, and Radonitsa is recognized, including by Christianity. Radonitsa is the only day in the whole year when, according to Orthodox traditions, it is possible to put a candle in the temple for the deceased unbaptized, a suicide and other deceased relatives or loved ones, whose commemoration by the church on other days is not allowed. Such people are not recognized by the Orthodox Church as “their own”, and it is often practically impossible to find help from priests if relatives want to help such a deceased in some way. We are talking not only about suicides, but also about people, for example, who drowned under unclear circumstances. About people missing and under unknown circumstances, about people whose body has not been found. About people not buried according to Christian customs. About the restless dead. We are also talking about people who used to be buried outside the cemetery - murderers, maniacs, rapists and others, mired in sins and not repentant before death (“evil souls”). Sometimes priests (according to the apostolic rules) do not allow those who died in their own time and by their death, who were baptized, who called themselves Christians during their lifetime, but who did not often go to church, to the funeral service. For example, six months before his death he was not in the church - there is no funeral service for you. It is believed that this man also died in unbelief, a non-Christ, and therefore he is not “ours”, does not belong to our egregor. These are the rules of Orthodoxy, and it is not for us to judge them. The question is what to do with relatives and friends who ask:

• How to help a suicidal person?
• "Is it possible to commemorate suicides?"
• "How to commemorate the drowned?"
• “An unbaptized person died, but I am Orthodox - how to remember” and others.

Perhaps you will find the answer in this article, and you will be able to productively spend Radonitsa this year.

Radonitsa or how to help a suicide

Are suicides remembered? How and when to commemorate suicides? Priests of the Orthodox Church advise praying for such people on their own at home, but they consider this an absolutely hopeless affair and, moreover, dangerous for the person himself who wants to help such a deceased. Moreover, this is not about Radonitsa, but in general. " Of course, you can try to dare this home prayer feat. However, be sure to take a blessing from the priest, and if he refuses, do not act outrageously - this will not end well' is the approximate answer. Orthodoxy has examples that suicides were forgiven for this terrible sin - there are several examples when a saint begged a suicide during his lifetime. Of course, the saint has a large supply of God's mercy, which he himself has earned and which he can give in payment along with his fervent prayer for such a person at will. For example, Seraphim of Sarov, after praying for a young suicide, fell ill for several months, but he knew what he was doing and he himself wanted to help the suicide.

So, the decision is yours whether to help such a deceased. But if you still decide to help a suicide or a drowned man, or an unbaptized one, then do not miss Radonitsa. On Radonitsa, go to church, pray for this soul, light a candle for the repose of this soul. You can take a prosphora and try to commune such a soul, leaving her a prosphora on the grave. On Radonitsa, do as you read in the article “Naviy Day” (a link to it is given a little higher) - and go to the cemetery, bring food to the grave, and kindle a fire in the evening. But if on Navi day all deceased relatives are commemorated, except for such “rejected” dead, then just such are commemorated on Radonitsa.

The only note that I consider important for your understanding is this. The so-called evil souls do not commemorate at home, especially on Radonitsa! For example, if the deceased committed suicide at home (in your house or apartment where you live), then you should not leave food for him in the same house (bread, honey, etc.). You should not "lure" him in the house; this is a special place for such a soul - the place of his death. Do not make a mistake. The soul or energy shell will get stronger from the food offered to it, gain strength and can begin to torment the living, attack, “tear off their anger” on those living in this house. In this case, you will have to exile her.

Radonitsa to commemorate the drowned

If your deceased relative or acquaintance drowned under unclear circumstances, or his body was not found and was not buried, and you want to help the soul of the drowned man, then also do not miss Radonitsa. If there is a grave, then go to Radonitsun's grave. If the body was not found, then on Radonitsa you need to go to the reservoir in which your drowned man drowned - a lake, a river, a sea. Or to that reservoir, which has a connection with that; for example, he drowned in the Black Sea, but this sea is far from you, but you have the opportunity to go to the banks of the Dnieper, Dniester or another river that flows into it, then it will be easier and more convenient for you to go there to remember the drowned man. By the way, they also commemorate on Radonitsui other dead without a body found and buried according to customs - if they disappeared in the mountains, then they go to the foot of the mountain, if in the forest, then to the forest, if in a swamp, then to the swamp and so on. So, in order to commemorate the drowned man, in Radonitsuvs they came to the reservoir. It is possible to give food to the dead in two ways - on a boat or without it; it depends on the tradition and does not detract from the result itself.

• If without a boat, then first let the petals of fresh flowers float on the waves, then throw the shells of boiled eggs into the water, then put bread with honey into the water. At the same time, they think about a person, ask for news from him.
• If you have a boat, then put fresh flower petals in it, put a lit candle, crumble the shells of boiled eggs, put also bread with honey. If the drowned man smoked during his lifetime, then you can put a lit cigarette in the boat. Also, sometimes they put a note with the name of the drowned man in this boat, and in modern times, his photograph too - this is at your discretion.

Why such a "set"? It is believed that flower petals are placed so that the drowned person can hear you. The shell of boiled eggs is needed so that he can receive news from you and answer you (this is like a “letter to the water king”). Bread with honey is what the dead crave to satisfy their hunger. According to the old custom, they did not go to the dead without bread and honey.

You can also pray on Radonitsa in the temple for such a dead person, or at home. You can also leave water, bread and honey for him at home, light a candle. The best option is to kindle a bonfire at Radonitsa in the evening, as was said, and feed it in this way. By the way, if on Navi day it is preferable to throw ash branches into the fire to keep the dead warm, then yew branches are thrown on Radonitsa. If you don't find any, use the ones available. Go to bed after the fire. Perhaps a drowned man will come to you with news in a dream. Usually they “respond” to the ceremony not on the same night, but it is believed that they will receive your message before the Mermaid Day and then they will be able to answer, give you news about how they are there and how you can help them, how to alleviate their posthumous fate .In addition, in the evening before going to bed, put a lit candle on the Radonitsa window - it will show the dead the way to your home, and also drive away the evil spirits that can come, taking the form of the dead.

Radonitsa to help restless souls

I will also note separately about the restless souls, which are often those who died out of time, those who perished, were killed, fell in battle, and others. With such a rite on Radonitsa, you can ask this soul itself what it needs for its repose. It often turns out that such a soul has some unfinished business, because of which it cannot find peace, and perhaps you are the only one who can help it. It may not be difficult for you, but it is very important for this soul. Do what keeps her, finish this business for her, and it will become much easier for her. You can find out what is holding it in the described way only on Radonitsa.

So, now you know when you can commemorate suicides, unbaptized, drowned people and others. You know that for this there is Radonitsa or Radunitsa. You know how to help a suicide, how to commemorate a suicide, how to commemorate a drowned man. I will also add that you cannot write about all the dead, “as it should”, in one article and you cannot definitely say everything, what and with whom after death. Each case is unique and often requires an individual approach and consideration. But such a commemoration can be made on Radonitsa for any deceased, without exception. If the article about Radonitsa turned out to be useful to you, I will be glad. Ask questions about Radonitsev comments. Sincerely, magician Azal, author of articles and owner of the site "Magic about Magic".

The commemoration of the dead on the eve of the day of the Holy Trinity dates back to the time of the apostles and was established in view of the fact that the event of the Descent of the Holy Spirit concluded the economy of the salvation of man, but the departed also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending up prayers on Pentecost for the quickening of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the feast that for the departed the grace of the All-Holy and All-sanctifying Spirit the Comforter, whom they were honored during their lifetime, be a source of blessedness, since by the Holy Spirit "every soul is alive ". Therefore, the eve of the holiday, Saturday, the Church dedicates to the remembrance of the dead, to prayer for them. St. Basil the Great, who compiled the touching prayers for the Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord, most of all, on this day deigns to accept prayers for the dead and even for "those who are held in hell."

It is worth noting the danger of many parishioners being tempted to commemorate suicides on this day, assuming that absolutely all the deceased are commemorated on Trinity Parental Saturday regardless of how they left this world.

But this is a delusion! There is no day on which one could commemorate a suicide in the Church once a year. There is no such rule. The Orthodox Church never and under no circumstances has the right to commemorate suicides as those who independently interrupted one of the greatest gifts of God - life itself.

Such an incorrect belief arose from a misunderstanding of the texts of the canon, which is read in the church on Trinity parental Saturday. It is about those who drowned, about those who were strangled. But not about those who strangled themselves or who hung a millstone around their neck and drowned themselves. We are talking about those who were drowned and those who were hanged. But it's not about suicide. Because a suicide - this is both grief and sadness - this is a person who returns the gift given to him by God. That is, a person also denies the mercy of God, denies hope, and so on. Suicides cannot find a worthy repose after death, and many theologians of the Russian Church testify to this.

Furthermore, church canons forbid "offering and prayer" for suicides(Canon 14 of Patriarch Timothy of Alexandria), as those who consciously cut themselves off from communion with God. The validity of this rule is confirmed by the spiritual experience of the ascetics, who, daring to pray for suicides, experienced irresistible heaviness and demonic temptations. These temptations were very dangerous, up to mental insanity and the fact that the worshiper himself began to experience an irresistible craving for suicide.

You need to pray at home prayer ( but she also needs to take the blessing of the priest), to do deeds of mercy, virtue, to live piously. And a pious life will bear fruit if we understand what prompts us to this piety the memory of a relative who passed away from life in such a sinful way. By doing good deeds in life for the sake of our relative, we believe that the Lord will ease the lot of the deceased. But for us it will be a fence - the Lord keeps the pious from all evil, from all attacks of the enemy.
An exception is made only for mentally ill people - they can be remembered. Because a mentally ill person is not responsible for his actions, and therefore he is given leniency.

Of course, it is impossible for a priest who did not know the deceased in his life to decide how to relate to such a death, and relatives and close suicides, meeting the refusal of the priest to perform the funeral, leave the Church without receiving consolation.
In this regard, the Holy Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church blesses, for the purpose of spiritual nourishment of the flock and uniformity of pastoral practice, it proposes, without performing the funeral of suicides and “offerings” for them, that is, commemoration in the temple, to teach consolatory prayers to relatives and relatives of such dead.
The name of the rank speaks for itself - “prayerful consolation of relatives”, and not “service for the repose”, this is precisely for relatives, a service will be served to comfort and strengthen them in grief. The funeral service and commemoration of people who committed suicide were out of the question, and still are not!

So, DO NOT file suicide notes. The commemoration of suicides in the Temple is possible only under the following conditions:
- if there is an official medical report indicating that the person killed himself in a state of insanity, in a state of insanity;
- and if there is a bishop's blessing for their funeral and church commemoration: to receive it, you need to contact the bishop of your diocese.
Only the diocesan bishop can give permission for the funeral of suicides. A funeral service without such a blessing will be unauthorized and impermissible. Such careless action is very dangerous and unpredictable.

BUT:
It is possible to commemorate suicides at home: the Optina elders allowed to commemorate suicides only at the request of close relatives and only with a short prayer, which, approximately, should look like this: “Lord, if you can, have mercy on Your servant (name of a person)”.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to order memorial services and a funeral service for a person who himself arbitrarily refused this in advance and ordered his relatives not to perform a funeral service for him.

What to do if you submitted a note about a person who, according to Church rules, cannot be commemorated in the Temple?
- if this happened, then it is necessary to tell the priest about it at confession.

The touching custom of the Trinity Semik
There used to be such a concept - semik. So they called Thursday of the seventh week after Easter, just before the Trinity parental. On this day, they performed the rite of burial of all those who died an unfortunate death. And for this purpose, special places were allocated outside the city, where the so-called wretched houses or sheds were set up, in which one large common grave was arranged. For several months, the bodies of the executed, drowned, burned, wanderers were brought here, in general, everyone who did not belong to any parish and about whom nothing was known. Patriarch Filaret ordered to bury in such graves even those “who drunk themselves with wine, or stabbed themselves, or were killed from a swing, or drowned while swimming, or poisoned themselves, or committed some other bad thing to themselves.” That is, those who could not be buried in church cemeteries. Twice a year: on Trinity Semik and before the feast of the Intercession of the Mother of God, the clergy and pious people went solemnly, in a religious procession to wretched houses. There, a general memorial service was performed, after which the souls of the slaves from the unknown death of the dead were commemorated, “their names are Himself, Lord, weigh (you know).” Later, Patriarch Adrian also indicated: “do not put those killed on robbery and theft in cemeteries and squalid houses, but bury them in the forest or in the field without commemoration in semik.”

The pious custom of giving alms for remembrance is preserved in our time, when this is the only form of help (except for prayer at home) to those who left this life without joining the Church of Christ or by self-will.

Home prayer for suicides, unbaptized and non-Orthodox. ​

Prayer for the dead has a twofold purpose: to ask God for mercy on the deceased and to bring comfort to the living. The Church does not forbid personal, domestic prayer for loved ones who have died unbaptized, but only at home and, in view of the foregoing, with spiritual precautions. Naturally, the one praying needs to be a baptized Orthodox Christian himself and to pray for an unbaptized relative or a suicide take a blessing from the priest.
The prayer for the unbaptized is based on an incident that happened in Optina Hermitage. One day, a disciple in inconsolable grief about his dead suicidal father turned to the Optina Elder Leonid (in schema Leo, who died in 1841), asking if it was possible to pray for him and how. To which the elder replied: “Surrender both yourself and the fate of the parent to the will of the Lord, all-wise and all-powerful.

"Seek, Lord, the lost soul of my father: if it is possible to eat, have mercy! Thy fates are unsearchable. Do not put me in the sin of this prayer of mine. But Thy Holy will be done."

With this prayer, you can pray at home for relatives who have arbitrarily taken their own lives, but given the certain spiritual danger described earlier, to perform home prayer, you must definitely take a blessing from the priest. From the patristic heritage, there are cases when, through the intense prayer of loved ones, the fate of the souls of suicides was alleviated, but in order to achieve this, it is necessary to accomplish a prayerful feat.

According to church canons, suicides (these also include those killed in a duel, criminals killed during a robbery, people who insisted on their euthanasia) and even those suspected of suicide (it is not customary to bury those drowned under unknown circumstances) cannot be buried in a church, commemorated in a church prayer at Liturgy and Panikhida. Suicides are not buried in cemeteries near churches. There are opinions that dead "lovers" of extreme kinds of "sports" can be attributed to suicides, because they are really aware of the mortal danger of such activities, for the sake of empty pleasure they still risked their lives. In fact, suicides are drug addicts, substance abusers and alcoholics.

However, in the well-known pre-revolutionary manual for clergy S.V. Bulgakov, with reference to the decision of the Holy Synod of July 10, 1881, it is indicated that those who died of hard drinking (unless it is proved that they drank in order to poison themselves with alcohol) are not considered suicides, on the basis that "... for death from binge is preceded by clouding of the mind, which does not happen with the use of other means to conscious suicide ...". Although, apparently, almost all drunkards are aware that excessive alcohol consumption is fatal to health. Not everything is simple in cases of death of drug addicts from an overdose, since immediately before taking the drug, the drug addict is conscious, in contrast to the drunken alcoholic who takes the last already fatal portions of alcohol in an obviously insane state.

Exception is done only for suicides suffering from obvious mental pathology, and who are on official psychiatric records. In such cases, it is necessary to provide the ruling bishop of your diocese with a certificate from the psychiatric institution that once supervised this unfortunate person, and write a corresponding petition asking him to bless the church commemoration of such a person. Almost always such a blessing is given ...

Who are we deceiving ourselves or God?

However, as practice shows, our people, especially those of little faith, church "goers" attach an excessive and false meaning to the church funeral service, as to some kind of magical action, after which the deceased automatically goes to heaven.

Meanwhile, according to the teachings of the Church, the human soul on the third day after death goes through terrible ordeals. At this time, the soul of the deceased has a great need for the prayerful help of relatives and the Church. To facilitate the transition of the soul to another life, the canon and the psalter are read over the coffin by relatives, and the funeral service is performed in the temple. The primary importance of this service is consolation of the soul of the deceased, and only then asking for mercy from the Lord for the soul, the forgiveness of sins, which, alas, are not automatically forgiven in absolutely all cases.

It is hard to see with what simply maniacal persistence parents almost knock out a blessing from the hierarchy for the funeral of their suicide children, who never suffered from mental disorders. Who are we deceiving? The priest, turning to the Lord, sings: "... rest with the saints ...". Whom with the saints rest?! Suicide?! Who, moreover, for years despised the Church of Christ, as well as his parents, who began to be baptized only when a terrible thunder struck?

Saint Innocent of Irkutsk, according to, among other things, the apostolic rules, asked relatives who brought the dead to church for the funeral: "And when was the last time he was in the service?" - "About six months ago."

The Church prays only for its members, but almost always people end up committing suicide, having long arbitrarily cut themselves off from the body of the Church. The Lord said: "I am the vine, and you are the branches; whoever abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in Me will be cast out like a branch and wither; and such branches collected and thrown into the fire, and they burn"(John 15:5-6) - in them there is both a great consolation for faithful Christians, and a terrible warning for those of little faith and apostates.

Here are two letters from Archimandrite John Krestyankin, confessor of the Pskov-Caves Monastery:

“Dear in the Lord A.! You cannot remember and pray in church about your mother, because there are canons that cannot be disobeyed. Disobedience will entail terrible consequences for the rebellious. He himself will give himself into the power of the enemy. Vladyka Benjamin. And we are sending you the Canon about the one who voluntarily died his stomach. Read this canon at home for 40 days every day, and read the prayer of Lev of Optina for your mother all your life. Also give alms about your mother to those in need. Nothing more can be done. Even if someone gives you permission to pray in church, it will be to the detriment of both your mother and yourself. because no one can cancel the canons of the Church. And obedience to them will incline the Lord to mercy on you and your mother. God bless you!".

“Servant of God V.! You can’t violate church canons with impunity. You can’t pray for your brother in church. You’ve been bothering about his funeral in vain, now at least stop collecting God’s wrath on your head. You can only pray for suicides at home, and no way file about them in the church, neither at the Liturgy, nor at the panikhida. The Lord is their judge, and you suffer for disobedience."

The manic stubbornness of relatives of suicides is often recognized by a subconscious desire to shift all responsibility for the further fate of their murdered child onto the Church. Meanwhile, the greatest fault lies, first of all, on the parents who live in unbelief, and who did not give their child due faith from an early age, on which he could easily rely on in difficult times.

Therefore, it is more correct to take responsibility for ourselves, and privately (at home) to take upon ourselves the feat of prayer (but not arbitrarily, but blessings and under certain conditions), with faith that the Lord will give a certain relief to the soul of a suicide.

However, it's not all that simple...

Pray but be careful

In recent years, several pamphlets have been circulating, which contain a commemoration at home prayer for suicides with the canon "Oh, self-willed belly of those who died" and the prayer of St. Leo, the elder of Optina. This is a publication of a certain Moscow parish (by the way, printed without the blessing of His Holiness the Patriarch); publication of the Holy Dormition Pskov-Caves Monastery (also without the archpastoral blessing); this canon and prayer were included in the book published by the Sretensky Monastery - "Prayers for the Dead" (I have not personally seen the publication, and I do not know whether it was blessed by His Holiness the Patriarch). A small book "How to Pray for Suicides", which is a copy of the first two with a number of additions, was published in 2004 with the blessing of the Archbishop of Ufa and Sterlitamak Nikon.

Despite the fact that the creator of the canon, Metropolitan Veniamin (Fedchenkov) was a remarkable ascetic of Orthodoxy of the 20th century, in the report of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II of Moscow and All Russia at the Council of Bishops in 1997 http://www.sedmitza.ru/index.html? sid=50&did=40 say “More control is needed over the publication and introduction of new liturgical texts in order to avoid such misunderstandings as the publication by one Moscow parish of the dubious from the theological and canonical point of view, the “Canon on Willful Death of Their Lives.” Indeed, it is noteworthy that all the prayers about suicides, which are now recommended with certain reservations for private (home) reading, refer only to the last century. In a detailed pre-revolutionary guide for the clergy of the same S.V. Bulgakov, unfortunately, there is no explanation of how the home commemoration of suicides should be performed, except perhaps:

"... In 1894, the refusal of one of the clergy to bury a woman who had strangled herself in a drunken state by one of the clergy in 1894 was recognized as correct by the Samara spiritual consistory; make a commemoration, with alms in memory of her, and I do not dare to allow her burial according to the order of the Orthodox "".

unified conciliar ecclesiastical opinion on EXPECTABILITY prayer cell (home) commemoration of the souls of suicides,
to alleviate their condition in hell, and even save them from hellNO

In one of the brochures, which considered the possibility of commemorating suicides, one pre-revolutionary story was cited.

"In the city of Buzuluki, near Orenburg, at one time there lived a rich man. He had a beloved son. At that time, they found a bride for him, and he did not like her. They wanted to marry, and he hanged himself out of resentment. For parents, it was terrible a blow. They are believers, they applied to many churches and monasteries - they asked to pray. And everyone refused. We went to the holy city of Jerusalem, and there they refused. Holy Mount Athos refused ... They found one hermit who advised them to cast at the bell factory at their own expense the biggest bell and donate to the church. And so they did. When the bishop began to consecrate the bell, he struck it 12 times, as it should be, the sound went heavy, mournful, and the bishop said: only when they carry out the deceased. "The walls of the bell tower often fogged up, the floor on the bell tower constantly rotted from this moisture and it was often changed. And then a letter came from the Holy Mountain, in which it was written: we tried to pray for a suicide, but the Lord the bottom does not accept our prayers, He does not accept the bell ringing ... The bell was removed and buried in the ground.

The young man who committed suicide was young, baptized, I think, like everyone else then, much more often than modern Christians of little faith attended services, took Holy Communion, fasted, confessed his sins to the priest, and, judging by the customs of that time, it is unlikely that he seriously sinned. And why was this young man pardoned? It is, alas, now young people go through all the circles of hell by the age of twenty: unbelief, hatred of parents, adultery, abortion, envy, lies, drugs, foul language, passion for the occult ... But from a human point of view, even such an incredible zeal of parents - try in In the 19th century, to travel all over Europe - it would seem that it already deserves the attention and condescension of God. However, the Lord finds in what, and judges about it ....

On the other hand, Archimandrite John (Krestyankin), the confessor of the Pskov-Caves monastery, in one of the letters to his mother, whose son committed suicide, wrote: “But it’s really impossible to pray for a son in the church - such is the definition of the Holy Councils of the Holy Fathers, such is the canon. Praying at home, with all the soul grieving and wounded, is before God, it is necessary without fail. And the answer is the work of God, we cannot predict it and decide for We cannot God. Having preserved the obedience of the Church, leave in your soul the hope for the mercy of God to your motherly prayer. Read the Canon for the arbitrarily interrupted his life(written by Metropolitan Benjamin - approx. MS),whenever possible and willingly. For the first time, try to read 40 days a day. And let the prayer that is in the canon console you daily, and it will help your son. It is good to give alms to the needy for the son. hope with faith are lamps in our life. The Lord is mercy and love. That's what we hope for."

All these commemorations collected in this pamphlet are only the private opinion of individual members of the Church. Their righteousness and holiness, alas, is not a guarantee of the correctness of their advice, consistency with God's will. Unfortunately, we are now full of people who blindly identify the opinion of a pious elder or ascetic with the opinion of God himself, like "the words of an elder are the words of God."

Hieronymus Bosch. Fragment of the triptych "Last Judgment" - right wing "Hell", 1504

Not every black soul can be bleached by God's mercy and grace

The Holy Apostle John, the apostle of "love," as he is sometimes called in the Church, commanded: "If anyone sees his brother sinning with sin not unto death, then let him pray, and God will give him life, that is, he who sins with sin not unto death..." however he warned "... there is a sin unto death: I do not say that he should pray"(1 John 5:16), that is, people who are in such a fallen state that any prayer for their salvation futile.

Or here - "Who does not love the Lord Jesus Christ, anathema, maran-afa"(1 Corinthians 16:22). Terrible words!

The Gospel Scriptures and the apostolic letters do not give reason to believe that Christ can save people by force, and the soul of a person who did not take care to purify it himself during his lifetime through repentance and faith in Christ, the Lord can hardly purify, even if relatives fervently pray about it.

Archimandrite Ambrose (Yurasov) gives this story:

"The Lord does not want the death of a sinner, and whoever turns to Him is saved. He calls everyone to repentance, He loves everyone and desires that not a single soul perish. No wonder the Lord Himself took on human flesh, came down to earth and suffered for us. This means that He suffered for everyone, how many people were, are and will be in the world.

But man is given free will - to repent, to accept the living Christ into himself, or to reject Him.

When I served in the Transfiguration Cathedral, I often had to travel around the city for services. Once went to one challenge; I enter the apartment, they meet me, they say: "Father, here is a man - he is 51 years old, his name is Anatoly - he should be both consecrated and communed." I went in, I looked: after the operation, the patient was lying, his intestine was taken out into the stomach. Next to it is a bottle of water with a pacifier on it. Constantly his lips dry, he keeps this nipple in his mouth. I ask:

- Anatoly, when did you go to confession?

- Never.

- Do you want to confess, take communion?

- And I have nothing to repent of!

- Well, how? You never went to church in your life, you didn’t pray to God, you cursed, drank, smoked, fought, lived unmarried with your wife. All life is a sin.

- I do not want to repent of this!

And the women standing nearby say:

- Anatoly, how? After all, you agreed to call the priest. You need to repent - you will immediately feel good in your soul.

- I do not want to repent.

I talked with him, spent 20 minutes, I say:

- Now - imagine - Christ Himself has come to you in the Holy Mysteries, waiting for your repentance. If you don't repent and take communion, if you die, evil spirits will take your soul. And I would be glad to repent later, I would be glad to correct myself - but you will no longer have such an opportunity. You have to repent while you're alive.

- What I deserve - I'll get it! - He speaks.

I finished talking and got dressed. And the women (neighbors) began to convince him, saying: "Anatoly, think about it - what are you talking about! After all, it is so important for every person (especially the sick) to repent before death!" And he tells them:

- Don't persuade me.

I got dressed:

- Well, goodbye. If he wants to confess - let me know, we'll come.

And one of them fits:

- Father, talk to him for the last time: suddenly he will agree. I walked over and sat next to him.

- Well, Anatoly, do you want to repent or not?

He is silent. I look, and his eyes glaze over. I say:

Yes, he is dying.

Women:

- How? He did feel good!

- He is dying - I look: he sighed three times - and the soul came out. Of course, demons took this unrepentant soul. That's where the fear, the horror! After all, a person has left this world for eternity. Billions of years of suffering in the fire will pass - this is only the beginning, there will never be an end. What a great opportunity to repent! Not all people are worthy to have a priest come to them, bring the Holy Mysteries - the Body and Blood of Christ ... Here, such terrible deaths happen.

Can God save such an unwilling person? And who can guarantee that the suicide at the time of death did not have the same attitude towards God and His Church?

Some may reasonably notice - what is demagoguery here - it is useful or not useful to pray at home for suicides, according to Christian mercy and compassion, you must definitely pray for those, and the Lord will judge. At first glance, such judgments seem justified. However...

Praying, prepare for serious temptations

Real prayer is not ecstatic meditation, it is work, but prayer for suicides, unbaptized people and great sinners is hard work! During which you will face strong spiritual temptations and deterioration in the health of not only the prayer book itself, but possibly all members of his family.

There is reason to believe that, perceiving the memory of the soul of the deceased, the one who prays at the same time becomes, as it were, a sharer of his spiritual state, enters the area of ​​​​his spiritual languor, comes into contact with his sins, uncleansed by repentance.

If the deceased was an Orthodox Christian and once in his earthly life turned to God with a prayer request for mercy and forgiveness, then the one who prays for him with the same prayers inclines God's mercy and forgiveness to him. And if the soul passed into another world in a mood hostile to the Church? How is it possible, praying for someone who has not been baptized or has been baptized, but who has departed from the faith, to allow himself to come into some contact with that theomachist mood with which their soul was infected? How to take into your soul all those ridicule, blasphemy, crazy speeches and thoughts with which their souls were full? Doesn't this mean exposing one's soul to the danger of being infected by such moods? All this should be considered by those who reproach the Church with unmercifulness.

A case from the life of the holy Reverend Seraphim of Sarov is indicative, he said that he managed to beg for some great sinner, and so after that, he is a great righteous man, a monk, fell seriously ill for several months.

What awaits not so righteous Christians as St. Seraphim of Sarov, who undertook with their prayers to "save" a relative dear to them who had killed himself?! Great temptations and health problems.

Experience shows that with the beginning of private prayer remembrance, not even about a suicide, but about an unbaptized parent who, alas, died in unbelief, almost immediately the disease rolled over the prayer, then the wife (husband), and then - on the children. Lord have mercy! I know of a woman who prayed fervently for her unbaptized father during her pregnancy and ended in a miscarriage.

One of the Ufa priests told me a case when, in the distant Soviet years, a young man, who had begun to diligently go to church, in his excessive zeal, decided to save the souls of the dead, whose bodies lie in the Demskoye cemetery near Ufa. There he compiled a large list with the names of the deceased, and prayed for the repose of everyone. Wild scandals began in the family between him and his wife, it came to a divorce, his already adult children were allowed into all grave sins; of course, illnesses appeared, the spiritual life of this person changed not for the better. The holy Monk Moses of Ufa, to whom this Christian then turned for advice, first of all asked him for whom he was praying. When he spoke about his prayer "feat", the first words of the monk were not at all biblical: "Are you a fool?!" etc.

Praying for relatives who are not baptized in Orthodoxy is also not easy.

The conversation about unbaptized people was not started by chance. In practice, it turns out that a person is not only a suicide, but also a non-Christian.

The well-known canon to St. martyr Huar for unbaptized people. However, few people carefully read the story accompanying this canon about how, through the prayers of this righteous man, one unbaptized young man was pardoned, and comprehended what was told in his life.

This young man, firstly, was a young man, pardon the pun, which means that, due to his age, he did not have time to sin in many and hard; secondly, apparently, he was pious; thirdly, he had a very pious Christian mother (you must agree, this is important); fourthly, he knew about Christ, and, apparently, he was preparing to receive Holy Baptism, but did not have time (earlier, Christians went to the catechumens not for a week - another, but for months, or even years); Fifthly, those who were catechumens in those days were sure to sincerely repent of their sins, even without the confession of a priest, so who will object to me that such sincere repentance of sins is not spiritually beneficial and useless? What am I actually leading to? Such a pious young man, the son of a pious Christian mother, already well-disposed towards Christ, it was not difficult for Saint Ouar to beg before God.

Now imagine, for example, a woman who died at an advanced age, lived in unbelief, blasphemed, fornicated, had abortions, stole (who didn’t steal in Soviet times?), etc., in short, with a great many all kinds of unrepentant sins. What can one hope for when trying to pray for her salvation to the holy intercessor Uaru?!

However, the soul of relatives is still restless in despair, is it really impossible to save or improve the situation of suicides, as well as unbaptized relatives?

If the spouse is pregnant, if the family has infants and small children - categorically refrain from praying at home for suicides and unbaptized, especially for unbaptized suicides in order to avoid health problems for small family members, pregnant and lactating women.

If all of the above conditions do not apply to you, of course, you can try to dare this home prayer feat. However NECESSARILY take a blessing from the priest, and if he refuses, do not act out of order - this will not end well, and remember "obedience is greater than fasting and prayer."

It is better to start your prayer feat by imposing a fast on yourself (obligatory with a blessing!) Or during many days of fasting, if no one prayed for such dead within forty days immediately after death in private. The Monk Nektarios of Optina advised at least three Christians to pray together at the same time. Before and during the time when you pray, confess and take Holy Communion often, preferably even weekly (again, with a blessing). Every day eat a particle of prosphora and holy water. Order a magpie about the health of yourself and close family members. Remember, praying for suicides and great sinners is a great spiritual feat, do not do it casually, from case to case. I repeat, it is quite possible, perceiving the memory of the soul of the deceased, the one who prays at the same time becomes, as it were, a partner in his spiritual state, enters the area of ​​​​his spiritual languor, comes into contact with his sins, uncleansed by repentance. Naturally, nothing good can be expected from this. Even such a great ascetic as Seraphim of Sarov had a hard time praying for some serious sinner.

There is another, I think, a very pious and correct way of receiving mercy from God for any person. Read, along with prayers, the Gospel for the salvation of his soul, one or two chapters a day - "So faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God"(Rom. 10:17). Where will the saving faith in Christ come from in the dead unbaptized and the suicidal person of little faith, if he does not know "words of God"? Alas, this is our common misfortune - many Orthodox Christians, even grandmothers, who participate in divine services almost every day, do not read, or read the Holy Scriptures little.

If you started to pray, and you, your loved ones, children, began to have serious health problems, immediately leave your efforts and just humble yourself, relying on God's mercy on the fate of this person's soul.

"The justice of God will not make a mistake, and with this calm yourself, as much as possible" - the already mentioned archimandrite wrote wisely John (Krestyankin).

Resigned with the fact of the suicide of a person close to you, live a worthy righteous Christian life with faith in Christ the Savior, so that your soul is reunited with the Lord after death in paradise, and then directly from Him find out the Divine will on this occasion. If there is some benefit from your prayers to a suicide, pray already being in the Kingdom of God diligently. Christians ask righteous prayers from the saints of God, now standing before Him in paradise, for themselves and their dead relatives. So what prevents a Christian who finds himself in paradise from praying for his relatives who are in hell?

Save yourself, and thousands will be saved around - do not forget these words of St. Seraphim of Sarov.

Lord, have mercy and save us!

Maxim Stepanenko, supervisor

Missionary Department of the Ufa diocese

Russian Orthodox Church

Ufa Diocesan Gazette, No. 2-3, 2006. -S. 8-9.

Choose to live with Christ!

"For God so loved the world,

that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life" (John 3:16)

"Choose life, that you and your offspring may live, love the Lord your God, hearken to His voice, and cling to Him; for this is your life and the length of your days..." (Deut. 30:19-20)

A person's life is his main treasure. As long as a person is alive, he can change everything, improve things, solve problems, help others. But not all of us can withstand the burden of problems and turmoil, some decide to end their lives, which for them loses its meaning. And in such a gesture there is both a manifestation of strength and a manifestation of despair. In the traditions of mankind, there has always been a special attitude towards those who committed suicide.

In most religious traditions, suicides are condemned, the decision of a person to dispose of a life that was received by the will of the Lord God looks like wild audacity. Yes, a person who committed suicide deserves to be, just like any other person, and the ritual itself was carried out with dignity. However, it should be borne in mind that in this case there are some specific details.

An important feature is that it is not customary to bury suicides in a cemetery. This is due to the fact that a suicide by definition is a sinner, and we are not talking about the totality of those sins that fall on many of the people during their lifetime, we are talking about a strong violation of religious traditions.

In fact, if we accept the fact that religions are critical of suicides, then the suicide automatically renounces his confession.

Precisely because a person who has committed suicide is no longer a ward of the Lord God, the funeral of such a person cannot take place according to standard canons, such people should be buried on the outskirts of the cemetery.

How and where are suicides buried?

Since ancient times, specific burial rules have been applied to suicides. In the distant past, those who took the path of suicide were buried in a forest or a deserted clearing. If in some settlement cases of suicide were repeated very often, then the settlement could have two cemeteries. Traditional and suicide cemetery. But such a rough division can no longer be inherent in our civilized society.

Now the traditions with the burial of suicides have been greatly simplified. It is customary to observe only one restriction - it is impossible to bury a suicide in those cemeteries that are located close to churches and temples or are church in status.

If we interpret biblical principles, then we can find clearer recommendations in them. So there is a ban on the fact that a suicide can be buried in a cemetery among people who died of natural causes, but he may well be buried on the hill closest to the cemetery. And this has its own explanation.

The thing is that, according to religious rules, a suicide is a sinner, and, therefore, his soul will be given to suffering in hell. And there is a risk that I take the soul of a suicide, the other world did not take with it the souls of those who are not guilty.

Special Rules for Suicide Burials

There are a number of restrictions on the burial of people who have committed suicide. Moreover, all these things are one of the main traditions for the funeral of ordinary people. So there is no funeral service for suicides, they bury such a person only on the third day after death, it is not customary to mourn for a suicide, it is also impossible to kiss the deceased goodbye, the magpie for a suicide is not performed, there is no memorial service. All who step over these prohibitions will themselves bear responsibility before the Lord God. It is worth noting that there are exceptions - those suicides who repented before death can be buried in the cemetery. It is also important to consider that those who killed themselves through negligence cannot be classified as suicides. These deaths are not subject to restrictions.

Muslim traditions

Islam, like most religions, has a negative attitude towards suicide. However, in this religion there are more loyal moments in relation to those who have committed suicide. This is how the reading of funeral prayers for Muslims of suicides is allowed. It can be said that the chi funeral rite differs little from that for those who died against their will. However, there are cases when theologians themselves expressed their unwillingness to read prayers for the repose of a suicide.

A special day is approaching - Tuesday - Radonitsa or Radunitsa. Our Slavic ancestors called this day Rodonitsa. There are other similar names for this day. Radonitsa is a day of special commemoration of the dead, a special memorial day. This day has been distinguished by many peoples since ancient times, and Radonitsa is recognized, including by Christianity.

Radonitsa is the only day in the whole year when, according to Orthodox traditions, it is possible to put a candle in the temple for the deceased unbaptized, a suicide and other deceased relatives or loved ones, whose commemoration by the church on other days is not allowed. Such people are not recognized by the Orthodox Church as “their own”, and it is often almost impossible to find help from priests, if relatives want to help such a deceased in some way.

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We are talking not only about suicides, but also about people, for example, who drowned under unclear circumstances. About people missing and under unknown circumstances, about people whose body has not been found. About people not buried according to Christian customs. About the restless dead.

We are also talking about people who used to be buried outside the cemetery - murderers, maniacs, rapists and others, mired in sins and not repentant before death (“evil souls”). Sometimes priests (according to the apostolic rules) do not allow those who died in their own time and by their death, who were baptized, who called themselves Christians during their lifetime, but who did not often go to church, to the funeral service. For example, six months before his death he was not in the church - there is no funeral service for you. It is believed that this man also died in unbelief, a non-Christ, and therefore he is not “ours”, does not belong to our egregor. These are the rules of Orthodoxy, and it is not for us to judge them.

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The question is what to do with relatives and friends who ask:

• How to help a suicidal person?
• "Is it possible to commemorate suicides?"
• "How to commemorate the drowned?"
• “An unbaptized person died, but I am Orthodox - how to remember” and others.

Perhaps you will find the answer in this article, and you will be able to productively spend Radonitsa this year.

Radonitsa to help a suicide

Are suicides remembered? How and when to commemorate suicides? Priests of the Orthodox Church advise praying for such people on their own at home, but they consider this an absolutely hopeless affair and, moreover, dangerous for the person himself who wants to help such a deceased. Moreover, this is not about Radonitsa, but in general. " Of course, you can try to dare this home prayer feat. However, be sure to take a blessing from the priest, and if he refuses, do not act outrageously - this will not end well' is the approximate answer.

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Orthodoxy has examples that suicides were forgiven for this terrible sin - there are several examples when a saint begged a suicide during his lifetime. Of course, the saint has a large supply of God's mercy, which he himself has earned and which he can give in payment along with his fervent prayer for such a person at will. For example, Seraphim of Sarov, after praying for a young suicide, fell ill for several months, but he knew what he was doing and he himself wanted to help the suicide.

It is up to each individual to decide what to do with such a dead person whom the church has abandoned. It is often advised to simply forget about them. Previously, such dead were buried outside the cemetery of the village, in especially remote places. If the cemetery was located closer, then such people were buried, on the contrary, further away.

Moreover, they tried to avoid such places, and without special need not to go to that remote cemetery.

Now, suicides can be freely buried along with everyone else, which is not entirely correct. Why does it matter? Where the souls of suicides end up after death, to put it mildly, they are not very happy. The energy shell of the suicide, which remains with the body near the grave, is also strongly toiled. Most of the emotions after death are distorted, simplified or die off altogether, and very often both the energy shell of a suicide and his soul “get angry”, are reborn into fallen creatures, become animal or demon-like and can attack the living.

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The soul of a suicide, realizing its posthumous fate, really does not want to leave the earth, and, if possible, tries by hook or by crook to "catch" on the ground. For example, she can get into a person passing by her grave, thus causing obsession, demonic possession. The energy shell is located near the grave of a suicide, and his soul can visit the grave, the places of life and death only on this one day of the year - on Radonitsa.

If this soul is not allowed to leave the places of its posthumous stay at all (for special misconduct), then it can only hear the words addressed to it, questions, prayers about it on Radonitsa and be able to answer the questioner. Only one day a year, on Radonitsa! This is due to the special energy of this day and the fact that the line between the "lower" parts of Navi and Yavi on Radonitsa is especially thinned.

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So, the decision is yours whether to help such a deceased. But if you still decide to help a suicide or a drowned man, or an unbaptized one, then do not miss Radonitsa. On Radonitsa, go to church, pray for this soul, light a candle for the repose of this soul. You can take a prosphora and try to commune such a soul, leaving her a prosphora on the grave.

The only note that I consider important for your understanding is this.

The so-called evil souls do not commemorate at home, especially on Radonitsa! For example, if the deceased committed suicide at home (in your house or apartment where you live), then you should not leave food for him in the same house (bread, honey, etc.).

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You should not "lure" him in the house; this is a special place for such a soul - the place of his death. Don't make a mistake. The soul or energy shell will get stronger from the food offered to it, gain strength and can begin to torment the living, attack, “take out their anger” on those living in this house. In this case, you will have to exile her.

If your deceased relative or acquaintance drowned under unclear circumstances, or his body was not found and was not buried, and you want to help the soul of the drowned man, then also do not miss Radonitsa.

If there is a grave, then go to Radonitsun's grave. If the body was not found, then on Radonitsa you need to go to the reservoir in which your drowned man drowned - a lake, a river, a sea. Or to that reservoir, which has a connection with that; for example, he drowned in the Black Sea, but this sea is far from you, but you have the opportunity to go to the banks of the Dnieper, Dniester or another river that flows into it, then it will be easier and more convenient for you to go there to remember the drowned man.

By the way, they also commemorate other dead on Radonitsui without a body found and buried according to customs - if they disappeared in the mountains, then they go to the foot of the mountain, if in the forest, then to the forest, if in a swamp, then to the swamp and so on. So, in order to commemorate the drowned man, in Radonitsuvs they came to the reservoir.

It is possible to give food to the dead in two ways - on a boat or without it; it depends on the tradition and does not detract from the result itself.

1. If without a boat, then first let the petals of fresh flowers float on the waves, then throw the shells of boiled eggs into the water, then put bread with honey into the water. At the same time, they think about a person, ask for news from him.

2. If you have a boat, then put fresh flower petals in it, put a lit candle, crumble the shells of boiled eggs, put also bread with honey. If the drowned man smoked during his lifetime, then you can put a lit cigarette in the boat. Also, sometimes they put a note with the name of the drowned man in this boat, and in modern times, his photograph too - this is at your discretion.

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Why such a "set"? It is believed that flower petals are placed so that the drowned person can hear you. The shell of boiled eggs is needed so that he can receive news from you and answer you (this is like a “letter to the water king”). Bread with honey is what the dead crave to satisfy their hunger. According to the old custom, they did not go to the dead without bread and honey.

You can also pray on Radonitsa in the temple for such a dead person, or at home.

You can also leave water, bread and honey for him at home, light a candle. The best option is to kindle a fire in the evening on Radonitsa, as was told, and feed in this way.

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By the way, if on Navi day it is preferable to throw ash branches into the fire to keep the dead warm, then yew branches are thrown on Radonitsa. If you don't find any, use the ones available. Go to bed after the fire. Perhaps a drowned man will come to you with news in a dream.

Usually they “respond” to the ceremony not on the same night, but it is believed that they will receive your message before the Mermaid Day and then they will be able to answer, give you news about how they are there and how you can help them, how to alleviate their posthumous fate .

In addition, in the evening before going to bed, put a lit candle on the Radonitsa window - it will show the dead the way to your home, and also drive away the evil spirits that can come, taking the form of the dead.

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I will also note separately about the restless souls, which are often those who died out of time, those who perished, were killed, fell in battle, and others.

With such a rite on Radonitsa, you can ask this soul itself what it needs for its repose. It often turns out that such a soul has some unfinished business, because of which it cannot find peace, and perhaps you are the only one who can help it. It may not be difficult for you, but it is very important for this soul. Do what keeps her, finish this business for her, and it will become much easier for her. You can find out what is holding it in the described way only on Radonitsa.

So, now you know when you can commemorate suicides, unbaptized, drowned people and others.

You know that for this there is Radonitsa or Radunitsa. You know how to help a suicide, how to commemorate a suicide, how to commemorate a drowned man. I will also add that you cannot write about all the dead, “as it should”, in one article and you cannot definitely say everything, what and with whom after death.

Each case is unique and often requires an individual approach and consideration. But such a commemoration can be made on Radonitsa for any deceased, without exception.