What gives a wedding to people. Choosing the right day. What is needed for the ceremony

The birth of a Christian family is accomplished with the blessing of the Church, which unites the two into a single whole in the sacrament of the wedding. There is a special providence of God for such a family, since at its foundation lies the gospel commandment of love.

What does a Christian need to know about this church sacrament, how to prepare for it? This will be our story, intended for the bride and groom preparing for the wedding, or unmarried spouses who lived side by side, perhaps until the golden jubilee. We invite them all to think about a simple question that our great-great-grandmothers and great-great-grandfathers knew so well - for what do people get married?

Why was the wedding persecuted by the enemies of the Church?

Many of our readers, if not present at the church wedding, certainly have an idea about it from numerous films.

First of all, I remember the princess-bride in a snow-white wedding dress. Burning candles, jubilant chants and church prayers. Solemn procession behind the priest around the lectern under the shadow of royal crowns. A bell chime falling from the sky, glorifying the union of love. Many flowers and a stream of joy overflowing the edge of this special day, when before God and people, for the first time, they appeared as husband and wife.

The older generation still remembers how the solemn registration took place in the wedding palace or the regional registry office, accompanied by Mendelssohn's wedding march. And only a few, after the registry office, dared to get married in secret ...

The cases of bygone days now include the era of fierce persecution of: the destruction of temples, the persecution of the clergy, the eradication of faith itself. Our memory does not bleed when faced with the fact of recent reality, when one enterprising leader of the people presumptuously "prophesied" how "the last priest would be shown on television."

This is how the enemies of Christ acted, consistently implementing their monstrous plan for the destruction of Russia, the stronghold of Orthodoxy.

The autocratic power was trampled, the family of the last sovereign of Russia was slandered and shot, so that their icon-painting faces, given to us forever the true image of Christian marriage, would disappear forever from the face of the earth and our memory. A satanic destructive stereotype of human relations begins to take hold. Herodias becomes the ideal of the new woman.

As you know, she was from the Maccabean family and the granddaughter of Herod the Great. She was looking for royal honors and power, which she did not have in her marriage to Herod Philip, her cousin uncle. The blood of many evil and voluptuous ancestors mixed in her veins. She persuaded her husband's brother Herod Antipas, ruler of Galilee, to adulterous marriage.

Being publicly denounced by John the Baptist for violating the law, she, harboring malice, looked for an opportunity to deal with the holy prophet. The instrument of revenge was her daughter Salome. On the day of the anniversary of Herod's accession to the throne, she pleased the ruler and all the guests with her dance, and therefore Herod publicly promised Salome any reward, even up to half of his kingdom. Here is how F.V. describes the events that followed. Farrar.

“The delighted girl ran to consult with her mother, and it was then that Herodias had the opportunity to satisfy her bloodthirsty vindictiveness. “Ask,” she said, for the heads of John the Baptist, so that they would immediately give you the head of this hated prophet on a platter. Herod listened to this request with horror. She sobered him, because she went against all his best convictions. Had he been capable of any courage, he could easily have dismissed this request as being inconsistent with the purpose of his promise. But the false fear of people and the thirst for approval, the passion for popularity, the vanity of power - all this suppressed the best motives in him. An executioner was sent into prison, a sword flashed, and, at the request of a shameless maiden, at the instigation of an adulteress distraught with hatred, due to the conceited weakness of the criminal king, the head of the greatest of those born by women was cut off! This head, laid on a bloody dish, was brought to the princess, and she took it to her mother, who poured out all her hatred over her, to which a worthless angry woman was capable of ”(F.V. Farrar. From the chapter“ Herodes ”in the book "Conscience and the Fall", St. Petersburg, 1998, pp. 120-121).

Subsequently, all three - Herod Antipas, Herodias and her daughter Salome accepted a painful death as God's retribution for the death of the holy prophet of the Lord John the Baptist.

Holy Scripture teaches unreasonable mankind about the ways of a righteous life - “for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish” (). And all the same, since the time the world has been standing, humanity has repeatedly fallen into a trap set by the spirits of malice in high places. “You will be like gods,” a seductive whisper is heard. And the light of reason is fading. Where will the scales of free human will now tip? Destroy the family and the man will get lost in the dark forest.

This is not the first time in the history of Christianity that blood has been shed. But the enemies of God cannot overcome the Church. And on the blood of the martyrs, faith is resurrected again. Indestructible is the love for Christ of all those who gave their lives to Him and followed Him, taking up their cross. “God is love,” testifies the Apostle John the Theologian (). Therefore, Christianity itself is a religion of sacrificial love, which has two ways: either consecrate oneself to God and leave the world to pray for it, or, while in the world, keep a blessed marriage, honoring God's commandment: “and God said to them: be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it" (). And God gave a promise to future mankind that “the seed of the woman will erase the head of the serpent” (), seeing through the millennia the modest face of the Most Pure Virgin from the house of Joachim and Anna.

And so the God-Manhood was accomplished. The first thing the Savior did when he entered the path of service was to bless the married couple in Cana of Galilee. According to church tradition, it was the wedding of Simon the Zealot, who was shocked by a miracle that happened - the transformation of water into fine wine. “Here is He, promised by God, the long-awaited Messiah!” revealed to him that day.

Since then, every marriage is performed with the blessing of the Church, the Head of which is the Lord Himself. Moreover, Christian marriage creates its own invisible small church, the head of which is the husband, who stands before the Lord for all his household members. Each of our prayerful sighs is known to God. You just need to be able to give place to God’s care for us and not forget - “what a man sows, that he will also reap: he who sows to his own flesh from the flesh will reap corruption, and he who sows to the Spirit from the Spirit will reap eternal life” ().

And if a husband and wife are outside the church fence, their life passes among the raging passions that reign in this world and destroy fragile human structures. Enmity and quarrels, jealousy and adultery alternate in him in a vicious circle, from which there is no way out for those who reject God's help. This is evidenced by the growing wave of divorces, dooming both children and adults to loneliness.

Take care of honor from a young age

We all know this proverb, set by Pushkin as an epigraph to the story "The Captain's Daughter". But it was an epigraph to the very life of a Russian person, to his whole way of life and being.

Alexander Vasilievich Suvorov therefore multiplied the glory of Russian weapons, because the famous words of the commander: "My daughter's chastitydearer to me than life and my own honor.", - were not only the words of a loving father. They testified to the deep invincibility of his spirit. Therefore, the Suvorov army was invincible, because it lived according to the gospel commandments, constituting a single spiritual whole with its commander. She could always fearlessly go to her death “For God, the Tsar and the Fatherland!”. And this made our state strong, in which the Orthodox people lived and believed in this way.

How important it is for us today to touch with our souls this patriarchal chastity, faithfully preserving the pious customs of our ancestors. They built their lives according to the word of God. Then neither grandfathers nor grandchildren parted with the lives of the saints. The spiritual heritage of the holy fathers and teachers of the Church was a source of innermost thoughts about oneself and about life. The life-giving word of Holy Scripture and Holy Tradition was conceived as an incorruptible treasure of the spirit.

So the modern pastoral word explores and verifies our fleeting and changing life with the eternal word of God, which guides the priest, who is always at the epicenter of human problems. For this, like the apostles, the “words of eternal life” are revealed to him.

“In the old days, concern for a future wedding did not overtake parents suddenly. Almost from birth, they collected a dowry estate for the girl, figured out the worries of her son's marriage. In rich houses of the upper classes, various benefits were recorded for children: villages, houses, money was saved. In a peasant family, the girl was preparing a styling-chest: fur coats, blankets, dresses, towels. The guy was saving up for the wedding. Without renouncing the division, they tried to prepare an extra sleigh, buy a forest, a tool. Already the baby had his own property: it was customary to give “by the tooth”, and later “money” for the name day for the future household. Thus, from childhood, the child, meeting with objects and conversations related to his future marriage, thought about an independent family life.

Wedding celebrations were the brightest event in a series of family holidays. They stood out for their long and well-established rituals, very special and magnificent dresses. Gifts. Songs. It didn't last one day. There were many guests at the wedding. It also had educational value. An older sister or aunt, a neighbor in a wedding dress, “like a princess”, became the center of attention of the whole family, the whole street, the parish. The girl looked, mentally trying on such an unusual care and love of loved ones and, of course, a rich dress. The boy looked at an older relative or brother friend and also thought about the unprecedented honor with which the groom is surrounded. Hoping to experience the same someday. In conversations, the children discussed wedding gifts for a long time, the list of which, by ordinary chance, became the property of relatives and neighbors.

These gifts also captivated the children's imagination. “Why, why does he have such respect and gifts? What did he do that he deserved? thought the child. They asked mother and father. “You will be hardworking and modest, and you will be married. We will sew you a beautiful dress. “Be a good helper to your father, don’t be lazy, don’t be mischievous - they’ll give a good girl for you,” the mother probably answered. From gifts and boots, the child's attention switched to virtues. Virtue received a real reward - the right to be an enviable bride, an enviable groom. Sin also had a visible and tangible punishment. “Who will take you, clumsy ?!”, “Who will they give for you, unlucky ?!”.

Once upon a time, the attention of our compatriots was not so scattered. Anxiety for the health of the pope or an unprecedented flood in Brazil did not disturb the hearts. But more spiritual strength remained for their own, family affairs and concerns. For the future marriage of a son or daughter, serious preparations were made. Morality, industriousness, religiosity, household skills, neatness, health, obedience to parents, the fun of possible applicants for relatives did not escape the attention of others. All impressions and information fit into the memory until the time, then to make the only right choice for the happy fate of a daughter or son. They also tried to give a look to their “goods”, so that later there would be no reproaches from relatives. “Mother made me wash it five times. She ran a handkerchief around the corners, checking if it was clean. She said: “When you get married, it will be a sin on me that I raised a slut.” You won’t linger at the gate either, they will definitely shout from the house that there’s nothing, they say, to look out for the street, ”one woman told about her upbringing.

Both boys and girls remembered that “good fame lies, and bad fame runs,” and tried not to give a reason for bad fame, because the retribution for a prank in the future could be a shameful refusal during matchmaking, or even loneliness.

The fact that a teenager's thoughts often turned to a future marriage does not mean that he developed carnal daydreams. There was nothing lustful in these thoughts. The wedding attracted the imagination of the young by highlighting, revealing to those around them the real dignity of a person. Not everyone could realize this, but everyone felt it ”(Priest Sergius Nikolaev. To the grooms and brides. M., p. 5-9).

So slowly lived Mother Russia, accommodating in her every day the simple wisdom of pious being, inherited from generation to generation, firmly knowing that without this it is impossible to calmly look into the future. This is a lesson to all young people and to all parents who should know that in order to be with lit candles at the lectern, the bride and groom will need their whole life under their parents' roof. From the way of life that exists in the paternal house of the bride and groom, subsequently the main wealth of the new family is formed.

About parental blessing, or who chooses the bride?

There were times when the bride and groom first met only in the church at the wedding. Parental blessing and will were an indisputable law. The obedience and piety of children was rewarded by the Lord Himself.

In order to find out the will of God, it used to be that the whole family prayed for a long time at the holy relics of God’s saints, ordered prayers from miraculous icons, went to monasteries to spiritual elders, to whom the human heart is open and God’s providence for those who ask for advice is visible. Such a conversation is known between the reverend and the benefactor of the Diveevo monastery, Nikolai Alexandrovich Motovilov, which took place in October 1831.

Motovilov told the elder his innermost secret. For more than ten years, his heart has been given to the pious maiden Ekaterina Mikhailovna Yazykova. But the marriage did not work out in any way, which made Nikolai Aleksandrovich unusually sad, because in the image of his first love he found for himself the truly Christian ideal of a self-sacrificing female heart and did not think to look for or wish for anyone else.

The Monk Seraphim listened to him with attention, asking about everything in detail. And unexpectedly he told Motovilov that the bride, who was destined for him from God, is now still small, she is only a little over eight years old. And then the elder revealed to the astonished Nikolai Alexandrovich those circumstances that would serve their acquaintance in the future and further happy marriage.

“After all, it’s different, your love of God, to ask the Lord God to foretell someone a bride, as you, for example, are asking now that I, a poor one, ask the Lord to foretell Yazykov as a bride, but it’s different when the Lord is already Himself to whom he deigned to foretell which bride, as, for example, for your love of God. Your bride is now no more than eight years and three or four or five months old. Believe me, this is exactly true, and I myself, poor Seraphim, am ready to testify to you in this ... I am not talking about the present time, but about the future. After all, I told you that life is great, and a lot happens in life. So this is how it will happen to you in advance that they will reproach you for some girl, and vilify her for you, then then do not forget the requests and prayers of the wretched Seraphim - marry this girl!

“And the Father for the third time bowed to me, a sinner, to the face of the earth, and I again fell at his feet.

Standing up and looking directly into my eyes, Father Seraphim began to look at me vigilantly and, as if looking into my very soul, asked:

Well, father, will you fulfill the request of the wretched Seraphim?

And I said

- If God deigns to fulfill, then I will try to do as you wish!
“Well,” Father Seraphim said, “thank you! Do not forget this girl! ... And she, I tell you, poor Seraphim, she is like an angel of God both in soul and in flesh ..

But maybe you will be embarrassed when I tell you her title? .. She is a simple peasant woman! .. But do not be embarrassed by this, your love of God: she is your sister according to our forefather Adam, and according to our Lord Jesus Christ!

Then Batiushka began to talk about how we should live with my future wife, and ended his conversation by repeating his request, begging us not to forget either his request or the conversation, and then he let go in peace, without saying anything about Yazykova ...

... At the indicated time, Motovilov still had no idea either about Diveev, or about the role that over time he was supposed to play in the fate of this last lot on earth of the Queen of Heaven.

Elena Milyukova, an eight-year-old girl at that time, could even less suspect that someday she would marry, and even a rich nobleman, who in the future would stand at nothing to fulfill the covenant of her Father, and in a worldly guise would become that servant of the Mother of God and Serafimov, as he later became by the wondrous sight of God ”(Nikolai Alexandrovich Motovilov and the Diveevo Monastery. Edition of the Holy Trinity-Seraphim-Diveevo Convent, 1999, p. 42,45-46,48.)

Since marriages are made in heaven, it means that one must learn to hear the will of God about oneself, which is revealed to a Christian through the prayer life of his heart turned to God.

On the blessing of the confessor

When the question of marriage is decided by church people, then the blessing of the spiritual father or the parish priest is necessary, with whom the bride and groom usually confess.

Obedience to the confessor helps to avoid those mistakes that are so often made due to the lack of life and spiritual experience.

When does a church wedding take place?

For a church wedding, the bride and groom must choose a day to perform the sacrament of the wedding and first agree with the priest. You need to know that marriage takes place on special days established by the church - on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. The exception is the days on the eve of the Twelve, temple and great holidays. And also in continuation of all posts: Veliky, Petrov, Uspensky and Rozhdestvensky.

In continuation of Christmas time - from January 7 to January 20, during Maslenitsa, as well as during Bright Week; on the eve and on the day of the memory of the Beheading of John the Baptist - September 11; on the eve and on the feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross - September 27.

The wedding itself is a separate service performed in the church after the liturgy. On the same day or the day before, the bride and groom partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ in order to proceed to the sacrament of the wedding in spiritual purity.

“Our Divine Liturgy, and especially the Eucharist, is the greatest and constant revelation to us of the love of God! - Testifies the shepherd of God, the holy righteous.

For the bride and groom who are preparing to create a new family - a home church - being in the Divine Service, especially on such a day for them, is the best spiritual strengthening. After all, the Lord Himself receives them at His wedding feast, which is the Holy Eucharist. It is no coincidence that in the Gospel the Kingdom of Heaven is more than once likened to marriage and a wedding feast.

About the symbolism of wedding rings

The sacrament of the wedding is preceded by the betrothal of the bride and groom. In the old days, it was performed separately from the wedding and was a test of fidelity and love, the pledge of which was wedding rings.

The word “betrothal” itself, as V.I. Dahl (Explanatory Dictionary of the Living Great Russian Language by V.I. Dahl in 4 vols., Russian language, 1999, v.2, p.616.) comes from the word “hoop”, or “ring”, which is an ancient symbol of eternity. And since the purpose of marriage is to achieve an imperishable image of eternity, then an indispensable condition for its completion is the exchange of rings between the bride and groom.

In the ancient Church, the bishop, performing the betrothal blessing, offered the following prayerful wish:

“Bless, Lord, this ring… for as it crowns a man’s finger… so may the grace of the Holy Spirit surround the bride and groom, so that they see sons and daughters up to the third and fourth generation, who may praise Your name.”

Thus, the bride and groom, “as children of the light,” according to the words of the Apostle Paul (Eph. 5:8), testify to everyone that they are pure and chaste before God. The flame of candles illuminates the beginning of a new life, where light is the source of God's holiness. Union in the Lord necessarily attracts the grace of God. “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them” (). The bride is handed over to the groom and the husband receives her from God and His Church, according to the word of blessed Simeon. (Works of Blessed Simeon, Archbishop of Thessaloniki, St. Petersburg, 1856, p. 353.) All brides are beautiful, like snow-white lilies. They delight the eye and gladden the heart. It is no coincidence that the Archangel Gabriel appeared to the Virgin Mary with a lily flower - a symbol of chastity and purity.

What does burning newlyweds mean?

When the bride and groom stand with lighted candles, the priest performs the cruciform censing of the newlyweds. Thus, he calls on them the grace of the Holy Spirit, reminding us of the events from the Old Testament book of Tobit, which tells of the marriage of Tobias, the son of Tobit, to the daughter of Raguel Sarah, destined for him by God as a wife. And in order for the will of God to be done, an evil spirit was near Sarah, which kills all the suitors, leading both the bride and her parents to despair.

Tobiah and Sarah fervently prayed that the Lord would bless their marriage. The prayer of the newlyweds was heard. The Archangel Raphael, who brought Tobias to his bride's house, taught him how to drive away the enemy force with censing (Book of Tobit, chapters 6-8.). Thus, cruciform incense means the invisible, mysterious presence with us of the grace of the Holy Spirit, sanctifying us for good deeds.

How is a betrothal done?

When the priest burns the bride and groom standing with lit candles in the temple, the Church lifts up prayers, asking God for the peace that the newlyweds need, prays for sending them perfect love and help, grace for immaculate residence, for only the One God grants an honorable marriage and a bed bad. The Church prays for deliverance from all sorrow, anger and need, turns to the Most Blessed Lady of the Most Holy Theotokos for intercession and salvation.

In her prayers, the Church again brings us back to the times of the Old Testament. We remember Isaac and Rebekah, whom the Lord Himself chose for each other. And the priest, citing them as an example, asks God's blessings for the betrothal of the bride and groom coming here, so that "the union of love can be made unbreakable for them."

Then the priest blesses first the bridegroom and then the bride three times crosswise with the rings that were consecrated on the holy throne of this church.

The priest accompanies the first step of the union of the groom and the bride with the words: “The servant of God (the name of the groom is called) is betrothed to the servant of God (the name of the bride is called) in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen". And then he addresses the bride with the same words: “The servant of God (calls her name) is betrothed to the servant of God (calls his name) in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen".

The marital union bears in itself a pledge of unity and eternity. The rings are put on the fingers of the right hands, signifying a blessing on every good deed - “... and the right hand of Your servant will be blessed” - says the text of the prayer read by the priest after the betrothal. The rings testify to the grace-filled help in preserving marital love, unfading thanks to God's mercy.

What does the white board under the feet of the bride and groom mean?

With the singing of the psalm of King David "Blessed are all who fear the Lord ..." the bride and groom with lit candles go to the middle of the temple and stand in front of the lectern, on which lie the Holy Gospel and the cross of Christ. By this, the Church shows that in all the ways of their lives, in all undertakings, spouses must follow the gospel commandments. And the Cross of Christ the Savior should strengthen them spiritually in carrying their own cross commanded by the Lord to all Christians.

Under the feet of the newlyweds, a white towel or white cloth is a symbol of unity and the joy of inseparable residence in marriage. Like the bride's wedding dress, this snow-white fabric speaks of the purity and chastity of those entering into marriage, that their thoughts, feelings and deeds are also impeccable in relation to each other and to the Lord.

What do the bride and groom make vows to God during the wedding?

When church hymns cease and it becomes quiet in the temple, the priest addresses the instructive word of the Church to the bride and groom, which prepares them for the pronunciation of marriage vows.

Vows are given by believers either in gratitude to the Lord for the provided heavenly help, or when praying for God's help. Violation of the vows made to God constitutes a sin against the third commandment of the Law of God: "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain."

Therefore, before the vows are pronounced, the priest asks the newlyweds, starting with the groom: “Do you (calls his name) have a good will and unconstrained and strong thought to take as your wife (calls the name of the bride) ...” The consent of the groom testifies that from now on he is ready to take full responsibility for his family on his shoulders and will take care of both his wife and children, with whom the Lord will bless their union, from now on he recognizes himself as the head of the family in the image of Christ, who is the Head of the Church, for whose unspeakable love ascended the Cross of Calvary.

And the next question of the priest: “Did you not promise another bride?” The groom’s negative answer testifies to his prudence and a clear conscience, fidelity and readiness to be the steward of his family, as a servant of Christ and steward of the Mysteries of God (): “From stewards it is required that everyone be faithful.”

The same questions are offered by the priest and the bride: “Do you have a good and unconstrained will, and a firm thought, take this (groom’s name) as your husband ...” By her answer, the bride testifies that she knows the calling of a wife and mother and she is ready to be a faithful helper to her husband , a loving wife and a virtuous mother, according to the words of the wise Solomon: “Who will find a virtuous wife? Its price is higher than pearls; her husband's heart is confident in her, and he will not be left without profit; she repays him with good, and not with evil, all the days of her life ”().

The bride’s answers: “I have, honest father”, “I didn’t promise, honest father” also testify to her good temper and piety, her readiness to be a reliable support in life for her husband and children.

The marriage vows of the bride and groom confirm before God and the Church the voluntariness and inviolability of their intentions. In a Christian marriage, such evidence is the main condition for recognizing the bride and groom as husband and wife.

“You put crowns on their heads…”

When the wedding vows are pronounced by the bride and groom, the priest proceeds to perform the sacrament of the wedding. Like any church action, it begins with a prayerful petition, invoking the blessing and mercy of God on all those who pray. The priest recalls the God-blessed marriages of the holy forefathers and calls on the future family the blessing of the Lord, which Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Joseph and Aseneth, Zechariah and Elizabeth were honored with; the priest recalls the blessing of the married couple by the Lord in Cana of Galilee and asks Him, who is invisibly coming here, to bless the union of the servants of God, whose names he loudly calls and prays for the granting of a peaceful and long married life, blessing to future children and well-being to the whole house.

In the next prayer, the priest prays to the Lord to save the couple, as Noah and his whole family were saved in the ark, as Jonah miraculously escaped in the belly of the whale, and the three youths in the cave of Babylon found heavenly coolness in the fire.

A special petition is also raised to the Lord for parents, whose prayers “affirm the foundations of houses” ().

And now comes the moment of mystery, when the priest places crowns on the blessed couple - a sign of royal power.

The priest, taking the crown, marks the bridegroom with a cross and gives him to kiss the image of the Savior, attached to the front of the crown and consecrating it. When crowning the bridegroom, the priest says: “The servant of God (calls his name) is married to the servant of God (calls the name of the bride) in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

Having blessed the bride in the same way and allowing her to venerate the image of the Most Holy Theotokos that adorns her crown, the priest crowns her, saying: “The servant of God (the name of the bride) is married to the servant of God (the name of the groom) in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

By laying on crowns, the Church gives the bride and groom a special honor for the spiritual feat of maintaining chastity before marriage.

At the exclamation of the priest: “Lord our God, crown me (them) with glory and honor,” the sacrament of marriage is performed. The Church proclaims those who are married to be the founders of a new Christian family - a small church. The church blessing marks the eternity and indissolubility of the born union: “What God combined, let no man separate” ().

Who are the wedding witnesses?

When the priest places crowns on the head of the bride and groom, they are received and held by their godparents, or witnesses. Behind the bride is her friend, and behind the groom is her friend. They are the prayer guardians of this marriage, spiritual mentors, therefore “they must be Orthodox and God-loving” (Composition of Blessed Simeon, Archbishop of Thessaloniki, 1856, St. Petersburg, p. 357.), - Blessed Simeon adds.

What does the word of the holy Apostle Paul and the gospel reading about the wedding feast in Cana of Galilee teach husband and wife?

Both the word of the Apostle Paul to the church community of Ephesus and the gospel reading about the feast in Cana of Galilee speak of the main thing - of obedience as an immutable law of all relationships between Christians.

“Whatever He tells you, do it,” says the Mother of God. And behold, they did as it was said, and suddenly they found wine in the vessels in abundance.

And the holy Apostle Paul calls on believers: “Submit to one another in the fear of God” (Eph. 5:21). That is, for the sake of Christ, for the sake of love for Him. And peace enters their homes and hearts, and the Lord blesses them, granting them earthly and heavenly blessings.

The marriage union is like the indissoluble unity of Christ and His Bride-Church, going in the name of love for each other to a voluntary sacrifice on the cross. The Lord, in the name of love and salvation of mankind, ascends to Golgotha. The Church, whose faithful children, by life for the glory of God and by death for the holy Orthodox faith, testified to their love for God throughout two millennia of unceasing spiritual warfare.

What does the drinking of wine from a common cup by young people symbolize?

After reading the Gospel, the Church again lifts up its prayers for the newlyweds. Then the priest brings a cup of wine and, having blessed it, gives it to the newlyweds. The bride and groom take turns drinking from it to commemorate from now on their inseparable being, both spiritual and bodily, and also as evidence of their unity in good thinking about God.

About walking around the lectern

Then the priest joins the right hands of the spouses as a sign of their unity in Christ and covers them with the end of the stole, which symbolizes the handing over to the husband through the hands of the priest of the wife from the Church Itself. Then he, holding a cross in his hands, circles them three times around the lectern, on which lies the Gospel. The circle at all times served as a sign of eternity, therefore walking around the lectern symbolizes the indissolubility of the concluded union. It is performed three times in honor of the Holy Trinity.

Following the priest, the newlyweds sing church troparia, the meaning of which reveals the hidden meaning of their marriage as unity in Christ to serve God.

“Isae rejoice, Virgin in the womb, and give birth to the son of Emmanuel, God and man, the east is His name: He is great, we bless the Virgin.”

This is how the Church sings of the most joyful event in the Universe - the Nativity of Christ. This hymn, in the context of what is happening at the moment in the temple, reveals to the newlyweds that the birth of their family is now in the series of church events and has the same goal as the God-manhood - the salvation of each other for eternal life with Christ.

Then the troparion “Holy martyr, who suffered well and was married, pray to the Lord, have mercy on our souls” is sung.

This is a prayerful appeal to those who accepted voluntary suffering, which brought the crown of martyrdom, and through this were made worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven. The Church thus tells us that good spouses, through the patience of sorrows, are likened to Christians who have acquired crowns of martyrdom for their feat on the cross of confessing faith in Christ.

At the end, the troparion “Glory to Thee, Christ God, praise of the apostles, joy of the martyrs, their preaching, consubstantial Trinity” is sung.

This hymn recalls that the path of the gospel of Christ awaits every Christian, for according to the words of the Apostle Paul: “The heart believes unto righteousness, the mouth confesses unto salvation” (). Following this path, the husband and wife must first of all be a worthy example for their children and faithful helpers to each other.

Parting word of the Church

In the old days, the newlyweds stayed for seven days covered with crowns, and only on the eighth day they were allowed to leave the temple with a special order. In modern practice, the removal of the crowns takes place at the end of the solemn procession. The priest says a short prayer about this. But for the rest of their lives, these crowns will invisibly adorn the husband and wife, if they always follow the truth of God, keep peace and love for each other.

The wedding concludes with a special prayer for the newlyweds, in which the priest asks the Lord for a blessing for their whole life, as well as goodness and longevity. He also addresses the Mother of God, who asked the Lord for mercy for the newlyweds in Cana of Galilee.

In this prayer petition, the divinely crowned saints Equal-to-the-Apostles Empress Helena and Tsar Constantine, who are especially revered by the Church, are also remembered. They were the first of the earthly kings to accept the Christian faith and affirm it as the state faith, bringing the entire universe subject to them into the bosom of the Holy Church of Christ.

In prayer for the newlyweds, the Church addresses the Holy Great Martyr Procopius, who, by his sufferings for Christ, inspired twelve noble women to acquire the crowns of martyrdom, who ascended the cross as if at a wedding feast.

By such examples, the newlyweds are called by the Church to keep apostolic zeal in their hearts and serve God with their labors, for from now on they are a small church, blessed on the day of their wedding by our Lord Jesus Christ.

“Many and good years ...” the Church sings to the newlyweds, and the priest addresses them with a pastoral word, which they must listen with special attention, for on a whim during the performance of the sacrament, the priest speaks a word not so much from himself, but revealed to him by the Lord by the grace of the priesthood , says exactly what is important for those coming before him and before God. His word will be about the most necessary in the field of family life, where they are called to serve their neighbors and God.

On the indissolubility of church marriage

Church marriage is indissoluble, except in the event of the death of one of the spouses or the guilt of adultery. Holy Scripture testifies to this:

“A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord. ().

What can hinder Christian marriage?

The Orthodox Church considers civil marriage devoid of grace as a human dispensation, but as a fact it recognizes and does not consider it illegal cohabitation. However, the conditions for concluding a marriage under civil law and according to church canons differ. Not every civil marriage can be consecrated by the Church.

The Church does not allow marriage more than three times, while civil law allows fourth and fifth marriages, which the Church does not bless.

A wedding is impossible if one of the spouses is not baptized and is not going to be baptized before the wedding, or if one of the spouses came to the wedding at someone else's will.

A wedding is not possible if one of the spouses is actually married to another person. This requires the dissolution of a civil marriage, and if the marriage was church, it is imperative to take the permission of the bishop to dissolve it and the blessing to enter into a new marriage.

An obstacle to marriage is the blood or spiritual relationship of the bride and groom. If they are christening recipients of the same person, then their marriage cannot be blessed by the Church.

About the wedding meal

The Holy Church warns against irreverent behavior after the sacrament of the wedding, both the newlyweds themselves and the invited guests. Canon 53 of the Council of Laodicea says: “It is not fitting for those who go to marriage to skip or dance, but to dine and dine modestly, as befits Christians.” The wedding feast should be free from all intemperance and indecency. Witnesses at the wedding should take care of this, who, according to Russian custom, are both honored guests and pious reasonable hosts at the wedding celebration.

About married life

The decree of one of the Councils of Carthage says: "The bride and groom, upon receiving a blessing, must spend the next night in virginity out of reverence for the blessing received."

The Church condemns the intemperate conduct of the "honeymoon" by young spouses. Their restraint and moderation will be rewarded with quiet joy and happiness of the first days of a new, joint life.

Also, abstinence is required according to church canons on all Sundays and holidays, days of communion, repentance and fasting. The reverend said to a young man entering into marriage: “... And also keep clean, keep Wednesdays and Fridays, and holidays, and Sundays. For not keeping cleanliness, for not observing Wednesday and Friday by spouses, children will be born dead, and if the holidays and Sundays are not kept, wives die in childbirth.

The elder wrote the same thing in one letter: “Your wife’s illness, perhaps, was due to your own fault: either they didn’t honor holidays in marital relations, or they didn’t observe marital fidelity, for which you are punished by your wife’s illnesses.”

The ability to restrain oneself in married life brings good fruits of spiritual peace and prosperity in the family, strengthens the husband and wife spiritually, makes them able to withstand the sorrows and trials that are inevitable in family life, educates them capable of sacrifice and self-restraint.

Which saints to pray for a successful marriage?

In all Orthodox prayer books one can find prayers for various occasions of family life. The Lord hears our every prayerful sigh, but in life we ​​are surrounded by exactly what is beneficial for the salvation of our soul, which is priceless in the eyes of God. “Knock and it will be opened...,” the Lord tells us.

They pray for a blessing for marriage to the Most Holy Theotokos in honor of Her icon "Kazanskaya", to the right-believing Prince Peter and Princess Fevronia, miracle workers of Murom.

For advice and love between husband and wife, they pray to the holy apostle and evangelist John the Theologian.

About every family and everyday need - the holy blessed Xenia of Petersburg.

When childless, they pray to the righteous god-fathers Joachim and Anna, the holy prophet Zechariah and Elizabeth. If you wish to have a male child - to the reverend.

About the upbringing of children in Christian piety - the martyr Sophia and St. Sergius of Radonezh.

About help in everyday affairs, about the blessing of God over the house - to the Hieromartyr Blaise, Bishop of Sebaste.

"Without God is not up to the threshold"

We hope that our story about the sacrament of the church wedding will help the reader to think seriously about himself. The last generations of Russians have dropped out of church life and have been deprived of any religious experience for almost a hundred years. Most of us continue to live like this, following generally accepted standards, drifting among the temptations of this world. Is there a place for eternity among this roar, crowd and circulation? Can the Lord knocking on our hearts be heard? Isn't such a life like a painted sun that neither shines nor warms?

But as soon as you cross the threshold of the temple, as soon as you join your heart to common prayer, as a previously unknown being will reveal to us the innermost joy of communion with God. Then the centuries-old experience of Russian life, embodied in the simple words “Without God, it’s not up to the threshold,” will become obvious and indisputable.

In concluding our story about a church wedding, let us recall the main thing - this sacrament is a special blessing of the Church, the Head of which is the Lord Himself. Therefore, it is so important to approach it prepared, collected, pure, without deceit, so that it does not come to condemnation, but to the salvation of the soul. Then family life will have a solid, unshakable foundation. And all the prayers uttered on this day in the temple will bear their good fruits, “for with God no word will remain powerless” ().

The union of two lives is a solemn and responsible moment. Today, many decide to formalize their marriage not only in the registry office, but also in the face of the Lord. What is needed for a wedding in a church, except for the desire of the young? Find out from our material.

Two join in unity

Before you decide to get married, you need to understand:

• Church marriage cannot be dissolved! There is no "debunking" in principle. The fact that some bishops go towards people who have already divorced and live in other families is due to the weakness of modern "Christians". This is done so that people do not fall into great sins. Therefore, we must realize that the wedding is forever!

Basic requirements for those who wish to get married in a church:

• newlyweds must be baptized in the Orthodox Church (this can also be done before the wedding);

• people must enter into a civil marriage (in the registry office) - in many churches a certificate is required (if people are not permanent parishioners);

• before the wedding, you must confess and take communion.

This is about the spiritual side. Also, in parishes where they treat parishioners responsibly, the priest necessarily conducts a preliminary conversation with the young. He explains to them the whole meaning of this rite, which is not only a tribute to tradition. You should not get married just for the sake of beautiful photographs or because "it is customary." This is a profanation of the Sacrament.

What is needed for the ceremony

Weddings in the Orthodox Church are held according to certain rules. The order of actions and the necessary prayers are recorded in a special book - the Treasury, which the clergyman has. You should not worry about this, although it is necessary to understand what stage of the Sacrament is being performed.

Usually, a donation is provided for such requests. Everything can be arranged directly in the temple. The "price" can vary greatly, depending on the temple. There will be other costs as well.

• Icons of the Savior and the Virgin - are needed so that parents bless their children with them.

• Towel - according to the rules, in church, young people stand on a white towel.

• Special candles - for the bride and groom, usually sold in a shop.

• Rings - used in the Orthodox wedding ceremony.

These are the main points, everything else is prepared in the temple. It is important to decide on the date, to prepare spiritually for this event. You also need to decide how many choristers will be, they usually need to be paid separately. Singers, as a rule, are not on the staff of the church, but come only to services or rites (weddings, funerals, baptisms).

Rite rules

Weddings in the church are carried out according to the established procedure. It usually follows the Liturgy, where the young are to take communion. Before this, you should fast (fast), read certain prayers - there is about this. Such spiritual preparation is necessary in order to accept the Sacrament of marriage with a pure soul.

Witnesses used to play not only the role of those who hold the crowns. They vouched for newlyweds, usually those who had known them for a long time. The guarantors took upon themselves the responsibility of looking after the spiritual situation in the new union. After all, this is a small church, which was created with the aim of giving birth and raising children in piety. Therefore, the witnesses were people of respectable age, having their own families. Today it is, rather, a tribute to tradition - the wedding will be held without witnesses.

According to the rules, the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church begins with the betrothal. Previously, it was held separately, but now it is very rare to find this. Young people stand before the doors of the temple, as before the Lord Himself. The priest introduces them into the church, as if the first people - into paradise, where they must lead a pure life.

• The priest censes, consecrating the young. He blesses the bride and groom, then hands them candles. After the blessing, you should be baptized. This is done three times.

• The fire of candles is a symbol of love, pure and hot, which spouses should feed.

• The deacon reads special litanies, for which everyone who came to the temple can pray.

• The priest reads a secret prayer for the newlyweds.

Then they bring the rings, which are put on with a prayer first to the groom, then to the bride. Three times they will change them - as a sign that they now have everything in common. The ring is a sign of eternal union, readiness to sacrifice everything for the sake of the beloved (beloved). After the prayer, the betrothal ends and the wedding ceremony begins.

Continuing to hold the candles, the young people go to the center of the temple, a special psalm is sung. The couple stands on a towel, in front of them on a lectern (special stand) are crowns, the Gospel, a cross. Crowns in Orthodoxy mean not so much triumph as martyrdom. After all, it is not so easy to endure all the shortcomings of your spouse throughout your life, to be a support for the family, to support your “half”. Therefore, in the sacrament, God's special help is requested.

The priest will ask everyone in turn if they have a voluntary desire to marry, you must answer in the affirmative. There is also the question of whether the heart was promised to someone else. In some churches, they are allowed to answer in Russian, and not in Church Slavonic. Then three special prayers follow - one to Christ, two to the Triune God.

Only after this are crowns taken (hence the name of the sacrament - wedding), they are laid on the young with prayer, the Holy Scripture is read.

Then, after brief prayers, both are given wine from the same cup. Also as a sign that the young are now waiting for a common life. Then the hands of the husband and wife are tied, they go around the lectern behind the priest three times.

The ceremony ends with the handing over of icons, instructions from the confessor. The meal, if it continues the service, should be decent, befitting a Christian title, without drunkenness, dancing, wild fun.

How to behave in the temple

There are unspoken rules of conduct in the church that should not be broken. The wedding ceremony is carried out “by order”, but this does not mean that in front of you is a dressed toastmaster with a censer. You should not, imitating the "stars" of television, behave defiantly.

• Witnesses and other participants in the ceremony should not forget that they are in the house of God. Laughter, conversations are inappropriate, if there is absolutely no desire to pray, it is better to leave the church altogether until the Liturgy is over. So at least you will not distract the parishioners who have come to pay their debt to the Lord.

• The bride and groom must learn in advance the words that should be spoken during the ceremony. This is a simple respect not only for the priest, but also for God.

• You should not shock others with your appearance - the bride's dress should be closed. Or you need to purchase a cape that would cover the shoulders, back and neckline. Lipstick must be removed before the start of the service.
• Women should enter the church with a covered head, skirts should be below the knee. Too bright makeup is also inappropriate.

The beauty of the wedding ceremony should be forever remembered by the young, but also remind of the deep meaning of Christian marriage - love, patience, sacrifice. One can worthily endure such a test only by being in the bosom of the Church, attending services, participating in the Sacraments. God bless you!

wedding rules

Wedding in the church - the rules that are needed for the ceremony was last modified: July 8th, 2017 by Bogolub

After the newlyweds put their signatures at the registry office, many of them go to church to bless their union before God. But what does this sacrament mean, why do people get married and how does it help them in family matters?

Why do people get married in church?

Wedding in the Orthodox religion is a rite of church blessing of marriage. He came to us from pre-Christian Greece, where it was customary to decorate the heads of those who were married with wreaths of flowers as a sign of blessing. The Orthodox Church took this action as a basis and introduced Christian elements into it.

But not immediately the wedding became part of the marriage for everyone. At first, only emperors and their relatives received such an honor. Today, this rite can be passed by any couple.

During the ritual, the Priest reads prayers over the newlyweds, calling on God to help the new family and become part of it. Besides:

• The Trinity is called to help the family, she will protect the couple and help her;
• Children born to married people receive a blessing at birth;
• It is believed that the spouses who have passed the ceremony are under the protection of God, he himself leads them through life.

Therefore, many couples come to the Priest, they want strengthen your union, sanctify it and get support.

But divorce in this case, although acceptable, is considered a great sin. We recommend that you consider this step, decide whether to ask the Lord for blessings or wait and check your feelings.

How to prepare for the ritual?

Need to do some terms, before going to the Priest for a blessing:

1. It is advisable to start fasting 3 days before the event, more is possible, but three days are required. You should give up food of animal origin, alcohol, intimacy is also undesirable these days;
2. From clothes, a man can choose a regular suit - trousers and a shirt. But the girl will have to choose the right dress. It should not expose the knees, chest, light colors are preferred. Many girls wear wedding dresses, but this is not necessary, it is possible to choose others, but modest ones;
3. A woman's face should not be hidden behind a veil. This symbolizes her openness to God.

This ordinance takes place not any day. The church will set a specific date for you. But this will definitely not happen on the eve of great holidays, during fasts, Baptism and Exaltation, Easter or Bright Week.

In addition, the day of the week is also important. Not suitable for wedding

• Tuesday;
• Thursday;
• Saturday.

However, if the situation so requires, the Priest has the right to perform the ceremony on forbidden days, and it will be recognized as legal.

How is the wedding going?

Young at first need to get engaged. The betrothal begins after the Liturgy, at which the couple is instilled with the importance of what is happening. After the Priest blesses the bride and groom three times, the young are baptized three times and receive candles from the minister.

Then the beloved stand in front of the lectern on a pink or white board and confirm to the Holy Father their consent to what is happening. As a sign of acceptance of their consent, three prayers are said to Jesus Christ and the Trinity.

The right hands of the newlyweds are connected by the hand of the minister, and he says prayers for the glory of the newlyweds, for their happiness and health. At this time, the entire procession goes around the lectern three times, which means the eternal joint journey that began today for the couple.

At the end, young people lightly kiss on the lips, approach the gates of God and venerate the icons. Everything, the sacrament is completed. Then the wedding couple can go with the guests to the festive table.

In what cases can a divorce be issued?

Orthodoxy is extremely negative attitude towards divorce. But there are times when this is indispensable, and in 1918 a list of possible causes was created. Later it was somewhat expanded and today it looks like this:

• treason;
• Entering into a new marriage;
• Rejection of the Orthodox faith;
• Disappearance of one of the spouses for a period of 3 years or more;
• assault;
• Incurable mental or sexually transmitted diseases;
• Alcohol or drug addiction;
• Imprisonment;
• Performing an abortion without the consent of the husband.

Anyone can apply for debunking from a couple. You need to come to the temple with the following documents:

• The passport;
• wedding certificate;
• Divorce certificate;
• All kinds of certificates confirming illness or other reasons for debunking.

No rituals are performed on this occasion, the Bishop considers the petition and, if he considers it justified, bless the termination.

We answered the question why people get married, told how the process goes and how to prepare for it. But I would like to note that, first of all, mutual respect and understanding should live in the family. If a couple lacks these two important qualities, no blessing will help them.

Video: why do you need a wedding?

In this video, Archpriest Yevgeny Larionov will tell you why to seal the marriage union before God, how important the sacrament of the Wedding is for the couple and for the church:

As husband and wife, so the bride and groom in the church. Ever since the times of Ancient Russia, any young couple had to be bound by marriage in the temple. The young assumed responsibility before the Lord and the Church, vowing to keep the union sent from above all their lives. Today, this is an optional procedure. Young people who know what is needed for themselves decide on the need for this sacrament.

First of all, for this you need to be sincere with your partner and with yourself. In no case should you get married just because it is a component and also because of the current fashion for this procedure!

wedding in a church?

This is necessary for God's blessing of the marriage. Spouses initiated into the sacrament of the wedding receive God's grace, which helps them build a single union of thoughts and love. But perhaps the most important goal for which a church wedding is needed is the spiritual fusion of the soul and body of two loving hearts and, of course, instilling Christian morality in future or existing children. In addition, the wedding involves the hope of two loving people for each other and, of course, for the Lord.

Many people who do not quite understand why a church wedding is needed mistakenly believe that this is an indispensable guarantee of family well-being and happiness, as well as complete deliverance from worldly hardships. It's not like that at all! A wedding does not give any family benefits and indulgences. It is believed that married souls must independently pass all the trials prepared for them by fate and resolve all controversial issues. Remember, a wedding is a certificate of your matured feelings! People who have decided on this sacrament should be aware of the full responsibility for their boat of love.

What do you need to know?

1. Those who are getting married should be well aware of what is expected once and for a lifetime.

2. It is believed that the new life that comes after the wedding involves complete cleansing from sins and the inner renewal of the human soul, therefore, before the sacrament, both commune and confess during the liturgy.

3. The young fast for three days before the sacrament. It is advisable not to have sex (and masturbation) during fasting, to think only about the spiritual.

4. The bride must have a special dress for the wedding (special tailoring, not exposing the back, shoulders and arms to the elbows). In addition, it should not be bright, red and dark. The bride cannot hide her face, as she is open before God and her beloved. The groom's outfit is the same as at the wedding.

5. There is a special wedding calendar. It calculates the days on which, according to church rules, the sacraments of weddings are held. There are also days on which this should not be done in any case.

6. The time spent on this procedure usually does not exceed forty minutes. This should be kept in mind by all who are going to invite friends and relatives to the sacrament.

The wedding ceremony has rather ancient roots, it originates from the 9th-10th centuries and has not only beautiful content, but also carries a deep meaning. A wedding is a ceremony that unites a man and a woman in the presence of God for eternal love and fidelity, turning marriage into a sacrament related to spiritual being.

The essence of the wedding

In the modern world, unfortunately, many people misinterpret the very essence of the sacrament and treat it as a fashionable and beautiful event that can brighten up the solemn day of marriage. Without even thinking about the fact that the wedding is not a simple formality. Only those people who believe in the eternity of marriage on earth and in heaven should take this step. And such a decision can be made only with mutual consent, as a conscious and well-considered act. It should not be forgotten that the rite belongs to one of the seven sacraments, as a result of which the grace of the Holy Spirit is transferred to a person, and this happens in an invisible way.

wedding rules

If, nevertheless, the relationship in a couple has been tested by time, feelings are deep, and the desire to perform the ceremony is well balanced, then it is worth familiarizing yourself with the conditions without which a wedding in the Orthodox Church is impossible. The rules are binding:

1. The basis for the wedding is a marriage certificate.
2. The main role in the family is assigned to the husband, who must love his wife selflessly. And the wife must obey her husband of her own free will.

It is the husband's responsibility to keep the family connected with the church. Debunking is allowed only in the most urgent situations, for example, when one of the spouses is unfaithful or in case of mental illness. By the way, the latter can also cause a refusal to marry.

In ancient times, there was such a custom when young people petitioned the priest for a wedding, he announced this at the national assembly, and only after the lapse of time, if there were no people who could report the impossibility of marriage, the ceremony was performed.

The total number of weddings of a person throughout his life cannot exceed three times.

Only baptized young people and their witnesses are allowed to the ceremony, each must have a pectoral cross.

If one of those getting married does not know whether he was baptized or not, it is necessary to discuss this issue with the priest. As a rule, a positive answer is possible with the consent of the young to give birth and raise children, following Orthodox traditions.

Age Restrictions: Men must be at least 18 years old and women must be at least 16.

A wedding is a primordially Christian rite, therefore people professing a different religion (Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, etc.), as well as atheists, are not allowed to it.

A wedding ban is imposed if the bride and groom are related, even in the fourth generation. And marriage between godparents and godchildren is undesirable.

If one of the newlyweds has a side marriage, the wedding is prohibited.

But such circumstances as the wife's pregnancy, or if the newlyweds do not have parental blessings, are not a reason for refusing to marry.

When can you get married?

According to the Orthodox calendar, weddings can be held throughout the year, with the exception of the days of large fasts - Christmas (from November 28 to January 6), Great (seven weeks before Easter), Peter's fast (from the second Monday after Trinity to July 12), Uspensky ( from August 14 to 27), Maslenitsa, on the eve of all major church holidays. Wedding ceremonies are held on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. But, according to popular beliefs, Wednesday and Friday are not suitable for performing the sacrament. It is also better to avoid getting married on the 13th.

But the happiest for marriage are the periods after the Intercession in the fall, from Epiphany to Maslenitsa in the winter, between Petrov and Assumption Fast in the summer, to Krasnaya Gorka in the spring.

Many couples want to get married on the day of the official registration of marriage, but this cannot be called right. Priests, as a rule, dissuade young people from such hasty acts. It is best when couples get married on their wedding anniversary or after the birth of children. The later this happens, the more conscious this act will be. The year of the wedding will be a memorable event that will testify to the sincerity of feelings and confidence in family ties.

Preparing for the wedding

Of particular importance is the process of preparing for such a ritual as a wedding in the Orthodox Church. The rules are here too.

The very first thing to do is to decide on the church and the priest who will conduct the ceremony. This is a rather responsible task, since the choice must be made with the soul. Young people in the temple should be comfortable and calm, only in this way the whole process will have a really great meaning. Whether it will be a small church or a majestic cathedral, depends primarily on the wishes of the young, absolutely the whole atmosphere of the holy place should harmoniously fit not only into the spiritual essence of the ceremony, but also meet the state of mind of a young couple who decided to tie their fate forever.

It is also necessary to talk with the priest, discuss not only organizational issues, but also take a closer look at each other, find a common language - this is also very important for the ceremony. Many priests pay special attention to the conversation with the newlyweds, sometimes they may advise to postpone the procedure or wait, then the advice of the priest should be heeded.

Also, and importantly, not all priests have the right to conduct a wedding ceremony, for example, it is forbidden to do this for those who have been tonsured monks and are under canonical prohibitions. Sometimes a ceremony, at the request of a young couple, can be performed by a clergyman from another church or cathedral, if, for example, he is their spiritual father.

ceremony

It is necessary to agree with the priest the date and time for which the Orthodox wedding is scheduled. The rules of church life oblige this. Sometimes several couples can get married in the church at the same time, this nuance also needs to be discussed. You should worry if several operators will take photos and videos at the wedding, so that there is no turmoil, and this does not spoil the whole ceremony.

A week before the wedding, young people should begin to fast: do not eat meat, do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, and refrain from marital intimacy. Before the wedding, the newlyweds must attend the service, confess and take communion.

It is also necessary to think in advance about buying the Mother of God, which must be consecrated, wedding rings, which must be given to the priest before the ceremony, candles, two white towels and four handkerchiefs. It should be noted that according to church canons, rings should be bought for the groom from gold, for the bride from silver. As a rule, the acquisition of all necessary attributes is entrusted to witnesses.

The tradition of using in ritual also has ancient historical roots. Since ancient times, parents have blessed their children with the use of holy icons: the son - Christ the Savior, the daughter - the Virgin, thus giving guidance on the true path.

It is customary to leave a reward for the wedding ceremony, you should also ask the priest about money. If the couple does not have the financial ability to pay the entire amount in full, you can talk about it. Sometimes the amount is not disclosed at all, and the priest offers to give alms to the church, in the amount that is possible for the newlyweds.

Choice of dress for the bride

As for the wedding dress of the bride, which she will wear to the wedding in the Orthodox Church, the rules are as follows:

• the dress should not be very tight or short, but too lush and chic outfits will not work either;
• in no case should the shoulders, neckline or arms above the elbows be bare;
• you can use a cape that will cover open parts of the body;
• the outfit should be white or another color of pale shades;
• the head must be covered, for this a scarf or veil is used;
• you can not use too bright makeup and rich perfume;
• instead of a wedding bouquet in the hands of the bride should be

You should also take care of shoes in advance, shoes with a closed front with low heels are best, because the wedding ceremony lasts about an hour, the bride should feel comfortable throughout this time.

There is a very interesting belief. The bride's dress must have a long train. According to popular legend, the longer the train is, the more time the young will be together. If the train is not provided in the outfit, it can be attached only for the duration of the wedding.

Also, when a wedding takes place in an Orthodox church, the rules apply to the appearance of all guests present. Women should be in dresses or skirts with covered knees, they should also not expose their necklines and arms, they should cover their heads with a scarf or scarf. At the wedding ceremony, the presence of all wedding guests is not necessary, these can be people who really believe in the sacrament of the ceremony and are sincere in this process. To comply with the formalities, it is better not to attend such events, but to come only to the banquet.

wedding ceremony

The wedding always begins only after the service. The ceremony consists of two stages: the first is the betrothal, the wedding is the second stage. In the past they were separated by time. After the betrothal, the couple could part if there were reasons for that, the wedding could take place only if the feelings were strong and sincere, because the husband and wife chose each other not only for earthly life, but forever. In the modern rite, both components of the ceremony take place on the same day.

betrothal

The betrothal takes place at the entrance to the church. The bride stands to the left of the groom. The priest reads a prayer, after which he blesses the couple three times and gives them lighted candles in their hands. Again he reads a prayer and betroths the young with rings. The rings are changed from the young hand to the bride’s hand three times, as a result, the groom’s gold ring remains on the young woman’s hand, and her silver ring on the future husband’s finger. Only now the couple can call themselves the bride and groom.

Wedding

The priest leads the couple into the temple and places them on a white towel in front of the lectern. A man and a woman are asked if they came here of their own free will, if there are any obstacles to marriage. Witnesses take crowns in their hands and hold them over the heads of the bride and groom. It should be noted here that this is not so easy to do, especially if the witnesses are short and the young ones are tall, and the ceremony time is not less than forty minutes in city churches, and if the ceremony is held in a monastery, then more than an hour. Therefore, it is desirable to choose witnesses higher. After the prayers have been read, the young people are given a cup of wine, which they must drink three times as a symbol of the fact that from that moment on, everything in the pair will be shared equally - both happiness and bitterness.

The bride should be warned: while drinking from a cup of wine, a situation may arise when the veil is very close to the candle and ignition occurs. To prevent this from happening, it is advisable to take care of the length of the veil in advance, which should not be too large.

The hands of the newlyweds are tied with a white towel and they are circled around the lectern three times. At this time, the church choir sings. The priest brings the couple to the altar and reads the edification for eternal life together. After the wedding, all the guests begin to congratulate the newlyweds, and the bell ringing is heard, signifying the birth of a young family.

If young people have a desire to capture the wedding for a long memory, photo and video shooting can be done with the permission of the priest. It is best to agree on exactly where the operator should be, how it is best for him to stand or move. Usually churches and cathedrals have rather specific lighting, therefore, in order not to upset the quality of the shooting later, it is advisable to contact a good specialist. There are times when photography is strictly prohibited, then, in order for a memorable event to remain in the family archives, you can take photographs against the backdrop of a cathedral or temple.

Crowning the kingdom

There is another ancient custom that should be mentioned in order to bring some historical clarity - the crowning of the kingdom. This ceremony was performed during the coronation ceremony of monarchs, and Ivan the Terrible was the first to start it. The crown, which was used at the same time, went down in history under the well-known name - Monomakh's hat. Barmas, an orb and a scepter were obligatory attributes of the action. And the process itself had a sacred content, the main essence of which was the sacrament of chrismation. But this ceremony has nothing to do with marriage.