How to resolve conflict at work. What to do if you have a conflict with your boss

To paraphrase the famous poems of Vadim Shefner, the following will come out: “You don’t choose a job, you live and die on it.” In times of a society based on competition, you can move from one, but such a voyage is still not endless.

Since the work team is selected spontaneously, people with personal taste preferences and value orientations get there. The latter are in conflict with each other, which gives rise to conflicts at work. Regardless of whether a single person likes the state of war or not, it affects labor productivity in a negative way. The microclimate among employees in general is extremely important. Therefore, leaders organize trainings for group cohesion. But psychological techniques are meaningless if there are conflicts at work that have not received a way out and resolution.

A conflict is a contradiction between the interests, beliefs, values and needs of two parties.

Types of conflicts at work

Between person and person is the most common type of conflict at work. It is difficult to find a monolithic team. Interpersonal clashes act as a filter for the selection of personnel. Two people may dislike each other because of conflicting worldviews, political predilections, but more often, people differ in their ideas about how to work. If a dispute arises between a superior and a subordinate, then the positions are clear. The first believes: and does not work hard enough, and the second believes: If we are talking about horizontal conflict (between colleagues), then the reason is competition or personal hostility. True, sometimes people argue because they have different ideas about the degree of cleanliness of the workplace, if they share it.
Between the individual and the group. In the role of "personality" is the newly arrived boss, and in the role of the group - the collective of the enterprise. The reasons in each case are different, but more often the confrontation arises from the fact that "a new broom sweeps in a new way." Another story is when a newly arrived employee manages not to win over his colleagues. In this case, if it is not possible to establish contact, then the beginner quickly leaves the game. Nobody can in hell. If a person is strong in spirit and needs work, then he is able to turn the tide and change the attitude of the team towards himself, however, this is a painstaking and stressful process.
Between groups within a group. When the microclimate in the company is healthy, the team is relatively monolithic. It has no cracks. It is clear that the struggle and , but this does not affect the work, and conflicts do not arise. An indicator of the unhealthy state of the team is the fragmentation into separate warring (according to professional or ideological characteristics) groups.

These are the types of conflicts at work, and now we will pay attention to those that are more common than others.

If there is a conflict with a colleague at work, what should I do?

First, a brief classification of "colleagues-pests" and methods of dealing with them. So:

“A lover of talk or a brawler” is a boring type that distracts other people from their professional duties. In each office "work" people - "passengers". They're leaving the number. They are not interested in work. Such subjects in their activities primarily love wages. Such colleagues feel at work tolerably only two days a month - during the issuance of advance payments and salaries. The rest of the time they suffer from and talk a lot to ease their pain from. Only one flaw worries those around in this type of worker: him.
- harmful type. At work, as in the world, there are people who are very annoying. And they try to knock the rider out of the saddle and intrigue. A person comes to the team, does not yet know the alignment of forces and asks such a person to help, and he takes and sets him up.
“An oppositionist or a sycophant of the leadership” is a dangerous type (“spy” or “informer”). Two facets of one phenomenon. Such an employee either loves or dislikes the boss and informs each colleague about it.

Ways to deal with distractions of human origin:

Those who like to talk and throw out their world culture on a person should be fenced off and covered with an impenetrable screen. In the everyday sense, this is expressed by the phrase: "Sorry, the topics are interesting, but I have urgent tasks, we'll talk another time." The colleague will go in search of another interlocutor.
With the second type, you need to keep your eyes open and avoid dependence on it in your work. Be polite and not quarrel, so as not to get spokes in the wheels in the future.
Do not discuss bosses at work - the main principle in the fight against spies and informers in the team.

So, the answer to the question, if there is a conflict with a colleague at work, what to do, stands on a simple but effective basis: “less words - more action.”

Hazing, personal relationships reduce productivity. At work, you need to work, not be friends. If a person firmly believes in these simple rules, then he is not afraid of any conflict with a colleague.

If the soul still requires understanding even in the place where you need to work, then you can switch to “you” with a colleague only after lengthy reflections and weighing all the pros and cons.

Conflict at work with the boss how to be?

You should not argue with the leader, remembering one covenant:

The boss is always right.
If the boss is wrong, see point one.

But leaders are not so hopeless. Sane people, although superior, in complex and significant disputes make contact. First of all, you should find out what is the reason for the misunderstanding? Does the fault lie with professional unsuitability, or did the conflict at work with the boss happen because of the personal qualities of the employee?

Personal dislike is a phenomenon that cannot be eradicated. The mass boils down to the fact that an ineffective cadre becomes a successful and beloved leadership. In life, the boss is consistent in his decisions and dismisses the objectionable.

The strategy of the employee's behavior is reduced to the struggle for the right to work where he likes. This means:

Decently and politely answer the boss to his reproaches.
Keep a distance (do not lose your temper, do not show irritation).
If another official rises above the boss, and the work has not erased everything human from him, turn to him, he will help. True, the employee in his hands should have iron evidence of the guilt of his immediate supervisor.

If the employee has specific professional claims, the algorithm is as follows:

A person talks to the boss in detail about problems.
A person defines his weaknesses.
Man plunges into the abyss of labor.

Resolving conflicts at work. Ways to behave in a conflict situation

Rivalry. When one participant in a dispute or both perceive the dispute as a battle. Very tough demeanor. People prove their case, even with another person - "winners are not judged." If a person easily and quickly goes to a confrontation, then he will not stay in the team. The state of war does not last long, it takes too much effort.
Adaptation. The behavior of an altruist who forgets about his interests and defended positions, for the sake of the team. The strategy is suitable for resolving minor contentious issues. If a person folds during important negotiations, then people lose respect for him. In addition, the behavior of the one who yields does not always come from the heart. In this case, the strategy is destructive for a person who deliberately smoothes the corners.
avoidance. A person goes into the shadows, allowing contradictions to exist, in the hope that the dispute will subside by itself. And again: minor disagreements can be resolved in this way, but serious problems need to be discussed.
Compromise. A person who professes this manner of behavior sacrifices a pawn in order to get the king. He creates the illusion for the enemy that he has won, and negotiates bonuses and advantages for himself.
Cooperation. The strategy of behavior assumes a win for both parties. A wise and complex move, but not suitable for every person and situation.

As behavioral strategies show, conflict resolution at work exists, but it is different for each specific situation.

The most constructive way to resolve a conflict at work is to talk with an opponent (disgruntled party)

Outcast anthropologists believe that in ancient, prehistoric times, before the appearance of articulate speech in humans, people communicated with each other telepathically. Then our ancestors switched to verbal communication. Since telepaths are a rarity these days, it is more productive to pronounce claims aloud.

Ways to extinguish emotions in a conflict are based on a substantive conversation, a discussion of problems, when the disputing parties analyze what does not suit them in interaction and eliminate the flaws together. If all disagreements are resolved, life is happier and freer, and labor productivity increases, the atmosphere in the team improves.

The main problem of people is that they do not know how to negotiate and frankly discuss differences. Colleagues, subordinates and bosses, husbands and wives - in social and private life - people hush up pain points that worry them and in vain, this leads to increased pressure and emotional outbursts. To bleed the emerging tension, you need to enter into a dialogue with another person. Conversation is the most constructive at work and at home. A well-timed word saves people's lives and careers. The reverse is also true: if a person is silent when it is necessary to speak, a catastrophe is inevitable.

Conflicts in work and personal life are exhausting and aging.

If the situation is tense, but it has not come to an open conflict, then ignoring and silence (if possible) helps. When the confrontation turns from dumb to screaming, then you need to talk and discuss everything to the smallest detail. Analyze objective, subjective barriers to a peace agreement between the parties. Understand the other person

How to avoid conflict at work? Carefully select the field of activity and analyze the team

Conflicts are part of life, and they accompany a person all the time. And thinking about work and professional interests will not hurt even at a tender age. When a person is faced with a choice, to go or not to go to the team, then you need to ask yourself about three things:

Do you like work?
Do colleagues leave a good impression?
The boss is harsh but fair?

The main thing is that the answer to the first question is positive. In the realities of modern society, it rarely happens that you can really choose a job.

The cardinal answer to the question of how to avoid conflicts at work is this: do not work, do not merge with the team! But this is a utopia. Man must work in order to live. Otherwise, he will starve to death in the street.

Instruction

The first thing to remember during a conflict is that it has to be resolved somehow, sooner or later. This understanding will give you the opportunity to look at the situation from the outside and see the full picture of what is happening. To do this, you need to remain calm, monitor your emotions, not get angry, and not do anything that could escalate the conflict. Instead of trying to show the fallacy of the position of the other side of the conflict, think about what you can do to resolve the current situation.

It is impossible to resolve the conflict if you do not listen to what the opposite side says. If you want the conflict situation to come to naught, listen carefully to what they say to you, otherwise your answers will be completely unreasonable, the argument will continue and grow. You can hear a lot of hard words addressed to you. Remember that emotions and anger on the part of the opponent is an attempt to defend himself, perhaps he is not fully aware of his speech at this moment. Your task is not to take such words too closely and try to find out exactly what his position is. After a while, the person will calm down. Encountering no resistance from you, he will begin to speak at a calm pace, his position will become more and more understandable.

Try to be as tactful as possible when expressing your arguments. Your words should not be taken as an attempt to fight off an opponent. State your arguments in such a way that the person pays attention to them, and not to your emotional state. You can also keep your opponent's concentration on the subject of the dispute with the help of a reasonable amount of doubt in your position. Allow the possibility that someone else's point of view is right, say that both of you have something to discuss in order to solve the current situation.

If you are in conflict with someone at work, never take it personally. You should concentrate on the subject of the dispute, and not on the fight with the person himself. The conflict situation is characterized by strong emotional intensity. For some people in this situation, it is easier to attack the interlocutor than to try to communicate with him. Do not allow such a development of events.

Ask the right questions. When in conflict with a work colleague or customer, do not ask him questions that require him to explain. For example, don't start your questions with the word "why." Such questions can be perceived as an interrogation. Let the person decide how they will communicate their point of view to you. Ask questions that will sound like an invitation to a conversation. For example, ask your opponent what his position is, what he thinks about your words, how he sees the conflict situation, etc.

Be prepared to compromise. The solution of the conflict does not always mean the victory of one of the parties. Some concessions on your part can also lead to a win-win outcome.

Strategic Rationale for the Conflict

The next stage is the choice of a conflict resolution strategy. There are five main styles of behavior:

Competition, rivalry is a tough style, the struggle of both sides is equivalent. It is resorted to in the case when your own strength exceeds the capabilities of your opponent, and the end result is significant to you.
Dispute avoidance. They are used when the resolution of kurtosis can and should be postponed to a later period. This line of behavior is optimal in a dispute with superiors. Choosing this strategy is advantageous in the following situations:

defending one's own views is unprincipled;
the priority is to maintain constancy and tranquility;
the likelihood of developing a more complex dispute;
awareness of one's wrong;
the hopelessness of the conflict;
large-scale intellectual and time costs;
in the first place is the desire to maintain good relations with the opponent.

Adaptation. Here it is necessary to restructure one's line of conduct, smoothing out antagonism, sacrificing one's principles. From the outside, it seems as if there is no dispute as such. The choice of this style is obvious if you want to buy time. An important incentive becomes a moral victory or maintaining good relations with the opposing side.
Cooperation strategy. This is the formation of a solution through joint efforts, taking into account mutual interests. The process is lengthy, contains several stages, but is beneficial for the overall good of the business. The strategy is applicable in situations where a joint resolution of the problem is required and the time period allows this. Such a line of behavior should be chosen if the desire to maintain relations with the opposite side prevails. And, finally, the strategy is good with equivalent capabilities of opponents.
compromise strategy. Mutual concessions allow you to resolve the differences that have arisen. It is preferred at a time when it is impossible to get the final result without joint efforts.

Possible options:

accept a preliminary opinion;
adjust starting tasks;
get a fixed part to avoid total loss.

This strategy is ideal for resolving a dispute at work, how to behave is the easiest to understand. But this line of conduct is applicable if:

the arguments are convincing on both sides;
it takes some time to solve more complex problems;
showing one's own superiority will not lead to success;
the conflicting parties are endowed with identical powers and have common interests;
a short-term solution prevails over a victory in the dispute;
getting a partial result is more important than losing all opportunities.

Way out of a conflict situation

Having defined your line of behavior, it is important to follow it clearly and skillfully maneuver. There are certain rules of conduct in the event of a conflict of interest:

In conclusion, one general rule for all occasions is that during a dispute it is impossible to take a closed pose and look directly into the opponent's eyes. This will only provoke excessive aggression.

Misunderstanding between superiors and subordinates is not uncommon. And sometimes quarrels with management end in dismissal. According to psychologists, there are certain rules, following which you can resolve the conflict and not lose your favorite job. Let's look at some of the most common situations.

You don't get much

You have been with the company for 10 years. The boss hired a young employee and assigned him the same salary as yours. You think it's unfair, because your experience and dedication to the job was equated with the skills of a beginner.
You don't have to raise your voice to your boss to get a pay rise.

What to do? Do not try to take offense at a young colleague, do not insult him or plot him. Talk to your boss, calmly express your dissatisfaction. And instead of being indignant at the salary of a newcomer, it is better to ask for a raise for yourself and justify your request.

You are older than your boss

Sometimes your boss's attempts to lead you hurt your pride, because you already gnawed at the granite of science with might and main when he was just learning to walk.

What to do? You must follow the instructions in the manual. But if you feel that the boss is wrong about something, share with him the right decision, in your opinion. A good boss will always appreciate fresh ideas.

You've been sat down

For several years you have pursued the goal of taking a higher position. Recently, this place was vacated, but the boss did not take you, but some girl from the side.
What to do? Explain to the boss that you have reached the maximum competence in your work and could bring great benefits by holding such and such a position. Ask how the boss sees your further career advancement. Most likely, he will make a decision that suits both of you.

You are too chatty

The boss found out that you speak unflatteringly about him. He is looking for reasons to fire you, and your relationship has developed into a psychological duel. What to do? Never speak ill of your boss or co-workers. If this has already happened, the initiative to talk and apologize should come only from you.
And finally, general advice to subordinates and superiors. During a conflict, you risk becoming a hostage to your words. For example, in the heat of the moment, you loudly announce that you are quitting. But time will pass, you will calm down, but because of pride you will be forced to leave a good job. The same with the boss: in the midst of a conflict with employees, he will threaten to demote you. After a few days, everything will be settled, but pride will not allow him to take back his words, since the rest of the subordinates may think that he showed weakness. Therefore, during quarrels, it is very important to watch what you say.

To the point

How much are you worth? There is a website zarplatomer.ru on the Internet with a questionnaire. It is enough to answer a few questions about your profession, and the salary meter will determine the level of wages corresponding to your qualifications and region of residence, taking into account offers on the labor market.

We calculated what salary a nurse, a grocery store salesman and an accountant in Voronezh and Moscow, who have work experience, professional certificates and higher education, can expect. On the website, the salary is indicated in dollars, we converted it to the domestic currency. So, according to the salary meter, a nurse in Voronezh costs 2250 - 2800 rubles, in Moscow - 3600 - 4350 rubles. A seller with us can earn 6800 - 8350 rubles, in the capital - 10700 - 13000 rubles. An accountant in Voronezh can count on a salary of 13,700 - 16,700 rubles, in Moscow - 21,500 - 26,300 rubles.

One third of an adult's life is spent sleeping. The rest of his conscious time (400 hours a month) is devoted to work and leisure. Moreover, 160 of them, 2/5 of the total time, are given to work for the benefit of society. If a person has conflicts at work, then he is under stress almost half the time.

There are situations when an increase in adrenaline in the blood contributes to the achievement of high results, records, the birth of masterpieces. Athletes, artists, musicians and artists can work successfully in such an internal limiting state.

However, for an average member of society, an extraordinary situation that causes them to experience strong negative emotions can permanently disable them for work. What kind of efficiency can we talk about if the eyes are covered with tears of resentment, the hands are shaking, and I want to run?!

The conflict situation has a negative effect on the results of common work also because it ceases to be collective. Sometimes the conflict of interests not only completely excludes mutual assistance, but even gives rise to sabotage.

A conflict between engineering workers from different departments can only spoil their mood, but discord in the team will certainly affect the quality and efficiency of the work of the entire team.

Causes and types of conflicts at work

With colleagues

Disputes and quarrels

Conflict is disagreement between people. As in a dispute, so in a quarrel, there is no agreement. What is the difference then:

Arguing colleagues do not set themselves the goal of offending, humiliating the opponent. The task of the parties, on the contrary, is to make the enemy their ally, convincing him that he is wrong. It is in such disputes that truth is born. Such conflicts are called constructive.
Quarreling people also have a theme of disagreement. But they do not put forward convincing arguments, but by influencing the feelings of the enemy, they try to frighten him, eliminate him, and force him to remain silent. Appealing not to the mind, but to the feelings, it is impossible to get to the bottom of the truth. These conflicts, in which victory at all costs is more important than finding a solution to the problem, are considered to be destructive.

Both those and other examples of behavior are possible between colleagues, but have different consequences.

If disputes lead to the achievement of positive results, give experience in cooperation and improve relations in the team, then quarrels, on the contrary, create intolerant relationships, worsen mood, lead away from a common goal and reduce labor efficiency.

interpersonal conflict

Most often, in a team, it appears on the basis of dissatisfaction with the inequality in the distribution of benefits, resources, burdens or sanctions. This happens often where several people do the same job.

Discontents and calculations begin not only in places where there is a shortage of resources or goods, and not only where the pressures are very high and the sanctions are terrible. Distribution conflicts happen even in the most successful organizations.

Personality and group

If there is a conflict in the team with a colleague who violates the norms of behavior, communication, appearance adopted here, then this is natural and justified. But not only that.

Sometimes the reason for a "boycott" may be the existence of an informal leader whose personal interests are pushing for conflict. A support group forms around him. It is difficult to get out of this situation. You will either have to recruit the same group of associates or overcome your pride and have a heart-to-heart talk with the leader.

With the leader

Internal conflict

Often there are leaders who give themselves completely to work. The need to be a husband, wife, father, mother, to live a full family life and the inability to do this tear apart the human psyche. The director breaks down on his subordinates, sees them as guilty in this situation.

Convince the boss?

Does it make sense to confront the leader? Yes, if there is real support from outside and above, if a quarrel precedes dismissal.

And if the boss listens carefully to the claims, gets inspired and, despite the risk of losing respect from the rest of the team, admits that he is wrong. This perspective of conflict resolution is found only in the cinema. In reality, "the boss is always right, and if he is wrong, read the first paragraph."

To prevent conflict situations, to clear the ground for their growth, the leader needs to fairly distribute material wealth. Having accurate information, it is correct to distribute "gingerbread and slaps in the face."
Gossip and denunciations should not be encouraged.
Don't be afraid to get fired.
No public showdowns allowed.
To resolve the conflict, one should not take sides, at least apparently.
A real leader should be happy when his subordinates not only go out with songs to the subbotnik together, but also demand from him all together not to dismiss the grandfather-watchman-veteran.

If such a team can be brought up, the leader will have someone to rely on in difficult times.

When applying for a job, find out, as much as possible about their professional duties, salary, bonuses, rules of conduct in a team, work schedule, dress code, etc. This information will save you from disappointments, resentment, the first conflicts and tell you what to do if they arise.
Remember, the team does not require to walk with everyone in step, but it will not allow you to stand out strongly from the pack. You cannot be allowed to smoke in a room where everyone else is a non-smoker. Do not annoy the team with your extravagance. Believe me, everyone here is like that, but they know how to comply with the measure.
Don't fight, argue. It's great when a difference of opinion does not lead to a fight, but to a compromise. Never discuss the appearance and character of an opponent when it comes to an accounting report.

How to behave to avoid office disputes

Everything listed in the previous section should be repeated here. But you can add different situations.

Gossip

Very often conflicts arise because of gossip and rumors. The more you are closed, the less information the team has about you, the more your colleagues will think, think about your personal life. This is how a person works - everything unknown excites and intrigues him.

It's easy to deal with this. Tell all about yourself. It is not interesting to write on already printed text. You will no longer be a "blank slate" that can be filled with any scribble. Gossip will die on its own.

Envy

Nothing can change this feeling. There are people who can envy anything. even your 6 fingers on your hand. Try to talk heart to heart and tell how uncomfortable it is when there are 6 fingers on your hand. Or just ignore the negative message, believing: if they are jealous, then there is something.

You must behave honestly, with dignity and never leave office disputes. Avoid quarrels! Remember that anyone who insults you in a quarrel can be discouraged (even defeated) by your calm smile “And I love you.”