The lady may not give but offer. Men's traditions
Sometimes you wake up like a bird
Winged spring cocked.
And I want to live and work,
But by breakfast, it's gone.
02.
You came, sat at the door,
Clips nervously tugging:
"Something else I wanted...
Damn... Oh yeah! You!"
03.
I have a rat in my pocket!
I found her in the forest!
She's wet and bald!
I'm bringing it to you!
04.
I love mustachioed women.
Although not suitable for sex,
But they are like Chapaev,
And they have no equal in battle!
05.
The tenacity of tradition must be observed,
Let them refuse you more than once,
Of course, the lady may not give,
But to offer, you are always obliged to her.
06.
Tore off the bear's paw,
So that the girls do not paw,
Because the bear is very
Sexually preoccupied.
07.
Throw flowers at you
Tire you with verses
Not hinting at anything
Invite for a cup of tea
Serve vanilla cake
And then have sex.
08.
Dropped the bear on the floor
Tore off the bear's paw,
A broom is inserted into the ass of the bear,
The bear owes a lot of money.
09.
I water them
I cover with a blanket
You grow up faster
My little tits!
10.
A girl lies in a snowdrift, laughs,
Her hysteria brings to ecstasy.
So what, stupid, is not there?
Yes, she just got drunk, an infection!
11.
Once upon a cold, icy winter,
Pipisky horse froze to the fence,
She kicked and kicked,
The horse left, but the pipe remained.
12.
Like a crazy traffic jam
A mosquito flies indoors
Hit his ass with your hand
And he will die of indignation.
13.
Who is the bravest in the world
All the more beautiful and smarter?
Rhetorical question,
If the muzzle looks in the nose!
14.
How to tie a tie - take care of it.
It's from Versace. Worth it.
15.
In the terrible and dark thicket of the forest
Dirty, ragged, angry, tired
Wandering, overgrown with a thick beard,
A boy forgotten by a school excursion.
16.
Beats with a hoof, digs the ground,
young sperm.
17.
from chewing gum,
Kilograms out of five,
You can make shoes
For the last way.
18.
The hedgehog runs on the grass and laughs,
Grass tickles the hedgehog,
Weed ran out, gravel went,
The hedgehog came home without a pipe!
19.
The candle burns out
This moonlit night...
I brought you a gift
Immune deficiency.
20.
What are you going to, not coming in?
Come in, don't you sit down?
And you sit down, do not lie down,
And you lie down, don't you?
And you give, you get up, you leave,
What are you going to, not coming in?
21.
A brick floats on the river
Wooden like glass
Well, let yourself float
We don't need plywood!
22.
I drank a bottle of wine
And went out to pee in the field ...
They hit on the back of the head -
It was football...
23.
Fish oil in wine is healthier
Drink without tragic mines.
He will save from all diseases,
Except venereal.
24.
Erysipelas in clay, branches in the pope -
I came from intelligence!
25.
If you see a hatch in the wall,
Water flows from it.
Don't worry, it's a glitch
It happens sometimes.
26.
It's better to drink than not to drink
It's better to live than not to live
It's better to give and fuck
What not to give and regret.
27.
From a piece of colored paper
Take scissors and glue
If you have the courage,
You can make a hundred rubles.
28.
I'm waiting, but you still don't come,
I'm waiting, you drive me crazy
Numb hands, legs, body,
I so wanted to enter you
But ahead is only the door of a dream,
Oh elevator, when are you coming?
29.
Night, silence
And where is your hand now?
And what are the thoughts in your head?
What do you want in the dark?
You don't hold him so tight.
It's your phone, baby!
30.
Spring has come - it's time for love
And somehow in a furious ecstasy
He kissed her footprints
On a cold toilet.
31.
Oh boys, God made you
And there is no such creature in the world!
All you need is horns
So that you completely become goats!
32.
Your eyes have killed me
Your smile is captivating
Your wonderful ass
It drove me completely crazy!
33.
Nobody loves Me,
Nobody is waiting for me
No one will kiss
And won't pour vodka!
34.
So believe after this people!
I gave myself to him in the moonlight.
And he took my girlish breasts,
And tied it in a knot on my back!
35.
Don't let the gas leak
Snuggle closer to the toilet!
36.
Light does not shine
Masha doesn't wave
Love does not love
Katya doesn't roll.
37.
There are women in Russian villages,
They are affectionately called women:
the elephant will be stopped on the run,
And his trunk will be torn off.
38.
My sky is clear and clear
And full of rainbow pictures...
Not because the world is beautiful
And because I'm a cretin.
39.
Three conscripts,
Looking for a girl for friendship.
40.
My phone rang:
- Who's talking?
- Elephant.
Then the geese called...
When will they let me go?
Diamond lady Diamond lady
Today and everywhere, always and everywhere,
Diamond lady Diamond lady
On Microsoft Worde lives in a hustle and bustle.
She's so pretty, she's so pretty
That both the worker and the shah love her,
She is known to the presenter from the body,
And somewhere on the film you can see her swing ...
She extracts diamonds from oak
And you are only acorns - it's true,
She is in the mezzanine, like garbage from a tooth,
Easily gets them, and that is not a trifle.
Diamonds on the chandelier, diamonds from the leg
An ordinary bench where the stadium sleeps
Diamonds, like millet in a box, there are legs,
Roman blossomed like a cute peony.
020707
P.S.
Novel by Natalia Patratskaya "Diamond Lady"
Last option:
http://zhurnal.lib.ru/d/dalwtan/stihotworenija2007-2003.shtml
***
Rambler reads Diamond Lady
Rambler has long recognized this lady.
Rambler alone knows her perfectly,
Rambler and the lady owns the diamond...
02.07.07
Real story
Gynecology. Doctor. A lady with a positive test.
Lady:
- It can't be! - It can't be! My husband and I took precautions!
Doctor (out of habit, wise by experience):
- How? Condoms, contraceptives?
Lady:
- Well, the husband put on a condom, and we had sexual intercourse.
Congenial.
Doctor:
- And further? Did the condoms break?
Lady (confidently):
- Well no.
Physician (very wise):
- What's next?
Lady:
- Then my husband took off the condom, tied it ...
And what would you think? my missus and I usually send it to the trash.
But! Not so simple...
The doctor (apparently taught by many years of experience) continues the interrogation and asks
genius question:
- So?
And the lady PRESENTS:
- Then my husband took a hammer ....
Never mind continue ...
- ... and hit him hard with a hammer several times.
Doctor (apparently in full ....):
- WHY?!!
Lady (calmly, with a feeling of condescending superiority):
- Well, why? To kill sperm!
So I imagine spermatozoa dodging a hammer and
death rattles of the dead ...
DOCTOR (in surprise, picking up her jaw from the floor, already from the sports
interest):
- So?
Lady (still condescending):
- ... untied a condom ...
IMHO, a man needs to erect a monument just for this - try it
untie the condom at your leisure...
Doctor:
- AND?!!
Lady (apotheosis):
- And injected me with sperm back.
Doctor (groaning):
- WHY?!!
LADY (with surprised indignation at the stupidity of the gynecologist, simply obliged
know common truths):
- Because sperm is very useful for the female body!
Curtain.
And let me be famous for drug dealing
And let me prick with anything,
Maybe someone will like me
Maybe I'll fall in love with someone...
Maybe somewhere under the shade of chestnuts,
in the middle of a hot July day,
she meets a drug addict
and love me forever...
Let shamefacedly I hide tattoos,
Rolling up the sleeve of the shirt,
Throw imported syringe and needles,
I gave my heart to her alone!
We will love her endlessly
I will never be alone
I thought, smiling pretty,
Driving morphine through the vein ...
A man bought a monkey in the market for 500 bucks and wanted to teach it
speak. He did not teach to speak, but taught only one word
"certainly". Well, I thought the navigator needed such a monkey to sell to the market
back. Well, a man comes up to him and asks:
- How much does a monkey cost
- 1000 bucks
- Why is it so expensive?
- She can talk.
- Don't p... di
- Come and ask
Well, he comes up and asks:
- Can you speak?
Ta:
- "certainly"
The man bought it, brought it home, put it on the table, asked:
- Will you drink?
Ta:
- "certainly"
- Will you smoke?
- "certainly"
- Will you eat?
- "certainly"
- Will you fuck your wife?
- "certainly"
Well, I thought the navigator had to take such a monkey to sell to the market. Fits
to him the poor gold digger:
- How much does a monkey cost
- 2000 bucks
- Why is it so expensive?
- And she knows where the treasure lies.
- Don't pee..di
- Come and ask
Well, he comes up and asks:
- You know where the treasure is buried.
Ta:
- "certainly"
I bought it, brought it as a lady, put it on the table, opened the card (with my finger on the card):
- Here??
Ta:
- "certainly"
Picked up the monkey, drove north, drove almost to the North Pole.
He asks to dig here:
- "certainly"
Ripped a snowdrift
- Or maybe deeper?
- "certainly"
- Maybe wider?
- "certainly"
- Or maybe you fuck ... esh?
- "certainly"
- And you pi..dy give???
Ta:
- NO NEED..
“Traditions must be observed. Let them refuse you more than once,
Of course, a lady may not give, but you always have to offer her.
<А.Верту>
We are not without complexes, but persistent (morally).
Not about-for-bo-che-us! - and in "spam" are not strong,
And, despite the fact that we love virtually,
All our thoughts are dedicated to you!
We keep traditions firmly!
After all, sometimes the path to a woman's heart is not easy.
When they do not love us, we sincerely suffer.
We, as a child, are simply deceived!
We are not far off, and we tritely believe
To get, we do not have to lie for a long time,
And since we are “obliged”, we boldly offer (!)
Which is completely ... not necessary ... to offer.
Let it not seem quite ordinary,
Women's secrets are known - and dreams.
What are the most valuable qualities in men? -
Reliability, Kindness, Honesty and… Flowers.
We please the Woman NOT a member!!!
Not so physically, but "figuratively" - in the soul!
Although we are more accustomed to ... the taste of treason,
And to see women - in complete no-look!
And let them refuse us more than once, -
Of course, Lady ... maybe ... DO NOT give!
But since a man is obliged to offer, -
“Stand by tradition” we HAVE to observe!!!
* Profile: «Whom I want to find: DISTURBED, MORALLY UNSTABLE, SEXUALLY CONCERNED, LOVERS OF VIRT. SEX AND SPAM... you already got me... and your thoughts are not interesting to me! The tenacity of traditions must be observed, And let them refuse you more than once, “Of course, the lady may not give!” But you always have to propose to her. I DON'T HAVE TO OFFER THIS! Z.Y. It is not the penis that satisfies the woman, but the MAN. And not so much as a physical body, but as an IMAGE, to one degree or another corresponding to some criteria"), see:
* Author's comment: This is how the works from the national server of poetry Poetry.ru scatter across the world wide web, sometimes changing under the unpretentious pen of others who shamelessly use someone else's and everything for their own purposes. The work “Toast” by Alexander Vertu about the upholding of traditions did not escape this fate, which, due to its simplicity, conciseness and originality of meaning understood by everyone, won a dizzying success. One has only to type in the “toast of traditions” in the search engine, as a result it will show that today this “toast” can be found on thousands of pages of Internet users, though without references to the author, who, probably, does not even suspect the extent of his creation’s wide popularity. Meanwhile, the young ladies are already “groaning” from the obsession of brutal gentlemen who harass them with such an ordinary hint. Although, this toast, apparently, was conceived as a purely masculine, in the sense - for a male company, but these men are arranged in such a way that they will always offer ... expressing their intentions to a woman, and in what way - it depends on the particular man, his feelings for a woman, personal qualities, upbringing, etc. As for satisfaction, then in each specific case, "image" or "body"? This is not even a question - it happens that ... both of them at the same time, all this is individual for everyone. We are all different. And everyone wants the same thing. One can sincerely laugh at how easily some "young ladies" judge men in general, based on personal experience of relationships and, perhaps, not with the best representatives.
