Depressive depression depressive. Basic Forms of Fear: A Study in Depth Psychology Depressive and Manic Personality Types

I am a very, very depressed person. A few months ago I went to a psychotherapist, he prescribed antidepressants for me and diagnosed me. Having started taking antidepressants, I wanted to live, endless thoughts of suicide, tears, goals appeared, a desire to live .... But it wasn’t there so long ago I told him that obsessive thoughts don’t leave me anyway, he prescribed, in addition to one drug, another<ред.мод.>.And that one from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. At first I drank it together with two tablets of the first half, then he told me to increase the dose. , I was writhing from side to side, in an ambulance they couldn’t help me, they called a psycho brigade. They took me to a psychiatric hospital, they made a dropper there. It all happened at night. I fell asleep. Then the next day I ended up in a psychiatric hospital with psychos. and I accidentally stepped on. Unflattering things were said about me, and they told me to pick it up, I was overcome with rage, I hit the one who went to the toilet. She started beating me. sedative shot<ред.мод.>They didn’t want to let me out. My grandmother and mother somehow took me out of the psych hospital, I didn’t think anything, I lost track of time, three or four days have already passed, I still feel dizzy. My parents took away all the antidepressants, I roar all day thinking about death, I want to fall asleep and not wake up. Uncle found some kind of herbal medicine, they give me water with it, they buy all kinds of chocolates, I want to go back to antidepressants. My whole life was shattered to smithereens after they took them away. I will live. I have no friends, no support, I roar all day long, I think about death, I think that I'm just a mistake, no one has ever loved me except my parents, they bullied me at school, the people dearest to me hated and despised. What's the point should I continue to live if I don’t want anything? Now there are no antidepressants that temporarily helped. But I can’t leave this life, I live terribly suffering, not finding joy in anything, I constantly cry, I am corroded by mental pain. was I need it. Everyone didn't care about me. What is the point of my life? What lies ahead for me?
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Sydney, age: 12/19/2014

Responses:

How can I tell you .. While the meaning of life you have to solve the riddle, what is your meaning of life. Sometimes it is only at the end of life that one can understand. Since you did not create your life, it is not for you to take it away from yourself.
You write "I never need anyone" and immediately above you write "except for your parents." Would it be better if you were in the hospital? Why are you making yourself a victim?!
Antidepressants.. some of them are addictive. And abrupt cancellation leads to difficulties like yours. Sydney, you gotta hold on.
We need to fight. With your condition, with yourself.

Alexey, age: 33 / 20.12.2014

Sydney, believe me, there is no magic pill for all suffering. The pills helped you at that time. But you wouldn't drink them all your life, would you? This can only be a temporary support, but after that you will inevitably need to look for a new one in the face of your family, in things that are interesting to you, in work, etc. I understand that everything now seems useless to you. Do you know who the most valuable people are? I think you know, parents. So the dearest ones are right next to you, and they love you. I think they need your love, just like you need theirs. Take a moment away from your suffering, talk to them, pay attention, do not be afraid to let this warmth into your soul. And then more, strength will come to you to get out, just look and do not reject support. You have already taken the first step. I believe in you.

Polik, age: 22/20.12.2014

Sydney! You have such happiness as the love of parents! Remember that no one will ever love you like mom and dad. Read at least the titles of some requests for help. How many children, teenagers, boys and girls who do not find the love and support of their closest people - their parents. You have it and it's great.
In order to gradually start getting out of a state of depression, I advise you not to refuse if you are invited to take a walk on the street, to breathe fresh air, especially during the day when it is light. Sunlight helps to disperse melancholy. Walking and physical activity also help fight depression. Dishes with the addition of cinnamon improve mood (just do not eat such dishes in the evening before bedtime).
Consult with a therapist, maybe you can drink lemongrass or eleutherococcus tinctures to raise your vitality. Consult with a therapist, maybe you should drink nutritional supplements such as "optimistin", which include vitamins and microelements necessary for the body in this state.
I wish you recovery! Start doing something little by little, like taking a walk every day. This will become a habit and it will become easier to continue the fight against depression.

Oletta, age: 45 / 12/20/2014

Hello dear! Perhaps you have a nervous breakdown, psychological exhaustion after this whole story. Yes, it’s not easy for you now, but don’t even think about giving up;) Not our method :) And believe me: everything in your life will be fine, and these are not empty words, you have wonderful parents, they love you and worry about you. After all, you yourself know it. And imagine how they will feel if they do not save you? Trust them. They don't wish you harm. They removed these pills and okay, learn to live without antidepressants;) do you really want your mood to depend on some kind of pills? You yourself are the mistress of your emotions, and indeed, who inspired you that everything is so regrettable, huh? Everything passes and it will pass =) Step by step, up your nose, baby! Since you write that you are haunted by obsessive ideas about ... the bad, then stubbornly, in contrast, "impose" thoughts about the beautiful on yourself :) You are only 19 !!! Why do you have this depression? Calm down, think. Well, is it really worse than ever? Yes, it’s unlikely :) Don’t worry;) Figure out in yourself what you like, what you don’t, what you are drawn to, what not. Do not rush death, it will come to everyone, as in Aria's song "There high up." Live while you breathe, breathe while you live :) and instead of drugs, take jokes. Unlimited =))))))))))

Light, age: 25/20.12.2014

Sydney, dear! Do not think that your relatives do not love you. They love you and want you to learn how to live without antidepressants. You are young and there is still a lot of good things to come, but there are not pleasant moments in life that you need to be able to experience. I have a friend who fought for the life of her child for almost two years, she spent a lot of money on his treatment and lived in the hospital with him, forgetting about herself and work, but she was able to survive the loss ... hard, but she could. there are also depressions, but you need to find joy in small things. Rejoice that you have arms and legs, there are people with disabilities, they want to work and live a full life, but they cannot do it. Appreciate your life and learn to enjoy even the little things, and you can learn this only you yourself, no one will help you. Just try changing the settings in your head. Have you noticed that people who radiate a good mood have many friends, but sad and gloomy ones have none. People love good emotions, they don’t like sad ones. Read a good literature, look good movies, walk in the park with your parents, listen to good music. Sometimes when I’m in a bad mood, I listen to classical music, it helps me sort out my thoughts. We create the mood ourselves and we need to learn how to manage it! but you should also make an effort! Be happy, start to please your loved ones with a good mood and you will see that friends and a lot of good moments will come into your life!

Good, age: 100 years / 12/20/2014

Your parents love you and take care of you, they need you - appreciate it. Many people do not have parents and families - no one needs them.
What lies ahead? - Growing up: study, work, love, family, children. Maybe success, fame, money. Everything depends on you. You are still young and everything is in your hands: you can become limp, lie in bed and think about all sorts of shit, or you can live, work on yourself and achieve ...

Alexionides, age: 30 / 20.12.2014

Sydney, after reading your story, I want to warn you that a lot of medication does not mean better, especially in such a sensitive area as psychiatry. You most likely do not have schizophrenia, and obsessions are mainly treated with self-hypnosis and psychotherapy. But keep taking antidepressants, which are now prescribed for no dependence on modern drugs. If only the person himself convinces himself that without antidepressants he is nothing, then yes, this is an addiction, but only psychological ... You need to learn to live with your peculiarity - a tendency to depression, and of course, you should not take antidepressants for life ... Your case is work with a psychologist, psychotherapist and, of course, hard work on yourself)

Eliya, age: 24/21.12.2014

I tirelessly thank the Creator who created antidepressants, and you should be glad that you picked up the right ones so quickly, because for many it takes years to select. I have been prescribed all sorts of rubbish, from which there were terrible side effects. And you have already picked up an antidepressant, You already know what it is to live and enjoy life, I only found out about it at almost 25. A little later, you will definitely return to antidepressants, as the substance accumulates in the body, obsessions will disappear. It’s a pity that people who don’t understand anything, including relatives they give ignorant advice. So I want support in this incurable disease (endogenous, like you and I, is incurable).

Violetta, age: 01/31/2015

He has a sharp sense of humor, he definitely won’t go into his pocket for a word, he is sociable and charming, he knows how to talk and charm. He sits across from me and tells his story. Along the way, he jokes a lot, gives metaphors, he is witty and cheerful. But in his eyes, I still feel tension and sadness, which I don’t want to ask about yet.

This is what a manic-depressive personality type looks like. And although in my work I do not divide people into categories, preferring to remain in the actual experience, today I want to talk about this.

This person loves to communicate with others very much, he is energetic, groovy, his type of thinking is rather fast and inconsistent, his thoughts seem to jump, but it is interesting to listen to him because of his high emotional activity.

And there is fuel for this energy - hidden sadness, which remains a deep personal experience. Sooner or later, such a person becomes exhausted, and then the depressive part comes to the surface, which causes anxiety and despair.

In order not to experience complex emotions of sadness and longing, a person uses two mechanisms: denial and reaction. Reacting can be both in direct form and in indirect form - running away from the problem.

In order not to feel pain, a person begins to switch to anything: to a new relationship or provoking a quarrel, promiscuity, going into alcohol, into work. Denial is often hidden in humor or a person pretends not to hear or see what is happening.

K: Some kind of garbage is happening to me. I'm tired of suffering already, I would like to get out of this as soon as possible

T: You seem to be scolding yourself now

K: It is, I can’t cope with myself, I feel like a dull Mr.

T: It seems that your experience is stronger than you could imagine.

K: So I came for this, so that you can help me! I feel helpless and it's only my fault, I don't know who to turn to. It's like I'm falling apart.

Clients with a manic-depressive personality type are really very afraid of this sensation. Fall apart. Inwardly, they are sure that when they get to know them better, they will be exposed as they are, they will stop. "The way I am, no one needs me."

That is why they hid their sensitive side deeply and chose to become "interesting".

Humor, persistent character - this is what makes such a person stable and adapted to the conditions of the outside world.

He talks a lot about himself, there is even a feeling of overflowing with the details of his life, and I do not understand how this relates to the case. Behind all this bravado is what he came to me for.

T: How do you feel when you tell me your story?

K: Nothing, emptiness and hopelessness

T: And what is behind it, behind this emptiness? What does she look like?

K: Sadly. And I don't know how to live.

Perhaps the parents did not allow, switched, neglected the child's emotions (of course, with the best of intentions), or maybe they showed such a powerful rejection to his sadness that he formed such a strong defense for himself. "Bullshit all this, we'll break through."

This is formed before we learn to manage it, our defenses are stronger than us. And I don’t know the story of my client yet, but I’m already preparing for the fact that we will go to childhood. And I will hear the phrase "Men don't cry, wipe your snot, get yourself together, rag" or something like that.

He does not give himself room for sadness, he is very strong, and he came only when it was completely unbearable. And in a safe psychological space, I need to hear his pain, his sadness, see him behind the wave of positivity and stop supporting the fortress with which he surrounded himself.

And this is not as pleasant and good as it might seem, because where there is love, there is pain. On the site of the old fortress, we will grow a new garden, a hedge of creative adaptations to life. To a life in which he will fully live every moment.

One in four people you meet have probably experienced major depression at some point in their lives, and one in five have it right now. Experts say that people suffering from depression make the same logical errors in their reasoning. One of the steps on the path to recovery is to realize that these are false thoughts. More about them tells the author of the book "Depression Canceled", psychotherapist Richard O'Connor.

Vicious circle

Depression is the result of the impact of current stress on a vulnerable person. Stress is enough for a person to cross the invisible line and fall into a vicious cycle of depression, formed from repressed thoughts, self-destructive behavior, guilt, shame and neurochemical changes.

These elements both evoke and reinforce each other: depressive thinking provokes more shame and guilt; they can lead to self-destructive behavior, which again reinforces guilt and shame, ad infinitum. To begin recovery, it is necessary to identify the thought processes that support depression and teach the patient to become more aware of and challenge them.

Three Traits of a Depressed Person

1. "I". A depressed person is the most severe critic of himself. He considers himself flawed, inferior, deprived, he thinks that he deserved all the troubles with his shortcomings and therefore will not be happy. The depressed person underestimates and berates himself, he lacks hope. But he is firmly convinced that the character traits necessary for self-realization are completely absent from him.

2. Present. A depressed person interprets interaction with the world - people, events, inanimate objects - differently than everyone else. He believes that the demands that life makes of him are impossible to fulfill. Where an external observer would see a share of success and recognition, the sufferer finds only confirmation of his failure and rejection of others.

3. Expectations for the future. In a state of depression, a person does not expect anything good from the future. He believes that his current suffering will never end, and if he tries something new, he is ready to fail in advance.

The most important evaluative and logical errors

Overgeneralization. The tendency to believe that something once true is likely to always be true. If you do poorly on an exam, it does not mean that you are doomed to fail. But it is very likely that a depressed person thinks so.

Selective abstraction. It consists in concentrating on details taken out of context while ignoring other data; conclusions are made on the basis of particulars. If I'm depressed but have to speak in front of an audience, I'm more likely to remember awkward pauses and questions that seem to be answered incorrectly, not that 90% of the speech went well. If I am not in control, there is a good chance that I will judge the whole event based on a few negative details.

Too much responsibility. People with depression tend to take it for granted that they are responsible for all the bad things, and good things happen because of other people, luck, or factors beyond their control. If the car skidded on an icy road, a depressed person thinks: “There was nothing to go today,” and not “Today is icy.”

Self-centeredness. Depression leads a person to a negative self-image, a tendency to inflate their worth, even to believe that they are in the spotlight. Playing in a school play, a girl with depression will think that the whole audience is looking only at her and the whole city will talk about every mistake. In addition, the patient believes that if something goes wrong, they will blame him.

Catastrophization. Depressed people take bad news to extremes: “I got a flat tire on my way to work today. All tires need to be changed. They're no good, I can't drive to work. She'll have to quit. I will be unemployed for the rest of my life and starve to death.”

dichotomous thinking. It is a tendency to divide everything into good and bad, black and white. He puts himself with depression in the category of "bad", and the people he admires, ranks as "good". He not only does not see the shortcomings and weaknesses in the object of adoration, but also the strengths in himself. This thought pattern then expands to include people who seem to like the patient as "bad". He begins to believe that if he is loved, they must be ignorant, ignorant or stupid.

Emotional thinking. He convinces the patient that all feelings are true: he is guided not by his head, but by his inner instinct. “Jane just gave me a suspicious look and it scares me. She must be plotting something against me."

False reasoning of this kind is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you expect to fail an exam, your chances of doing well on it decrease. Because of negative expectations, you can stop preparing, become nervous, and therefore fail to focus and remember information. Constantly expecting the worst can lead to you never even trying to rate yourself as highly as others, and due to dichotomous thinking, you can never do so.

False beliefs that make us more vulnerable to depression

To be happy, you must be successful in everything that I undertake.

To be happy, I must be accepted always and by everyone.

If I'm wrong, then I'm incompetent.

I can't live without you (someone).

If someone disagrees with me, it means they don't like me.

My worth as a person depends on what others think of me.

These depressive assumptions are supported by automatic negative thoughts (for example, about one's own insignificance), which, under stress, become reflex, appear “by default”. If a person has realized that such thoughts have been playing background music for a long time, and begins to perceive their voice as something alien, this is a small breakthrough.

The patient can learn to counteract such thoughts with simple commands: “Stop. Don't listen to this voice. Think about it later. It's not your problem." Meditation is also helpful in this case.

Remember: a depressive mindset is just a bad habit and can be changed. Find your inner critic and silence him. Every time you hear his voice, remind yourself: these are bad connections in my brain, this is an imposed thought. It's not me.

Although the public understanding of depression has improved somewhat in recent years, people still often misunderstand or ignore depression and its symptoms. Worse, too many people hide the fact that they have depression, and others do not believe in such a state at all. And this only exacerbates this condition. Therefore, it is very important to know the signs of depression in order to provide a person with timely assistance.

1. Behavior is deceptive

Due to media and cultural stereotypes, most people have developed strong associations about how a person with depression should act and look. All represent a person who rarely leaves his room, dresses badly, does not look after himself, and constantly looks miserable.

The truth is that not all people with depression behave the same way. Everyone is different, of course, and the symptoms and ability to cope with depression also vary. Many may appear outwardly quite cheerful and carefree, but they do not suffer less than those who "have all the symptoms."

2. Chronic fatigue

The predominant side effect of depression is constant exhaustion. This does not happen to everyone, but a similar symptom is extremely common. For those who experience this symptom during depression, it is often one of the most difficult side effects to experience.

Also, if someone lives with an undiagnosed depressive disorder, the cause of their exhaustion may not be clear. He can sleep for many hours every night and still be terribly sleepy. Worse, he may blame himself, believing that it is laziness or some other personal reason causing low energy levels.

3. Irritability

A depressed person's behavior can be interpreted as melancholy, even if it's not what they really feel. Irritability is an often overlooked symptom of depression that is also very common. This should be clear, as depression is a health issue that cannot be "seen" or accurately measured, making it difficult to deal with.

The constant work required to maintain all the necessary aspects of life, combined with depression, exhausts a person and leaves little room for patience or understanding. In fact, if a person you know finds that they are constantly depressed and shares this with loved ones, it may initially confuse them if the person's previous behavior did not fit the common misconception about the shy, silent depressed person.

4. Difficulties with communication

The main misconception about depression discussed in the paragraphs above is that it is about “feeling” sad. On the contrary, in depression, mostly nothing is felt, or only partially and briefly emotions appear. It depends on the individual, but some people with depression feel almost "numb" and the most common feeling they experience is a kind of sadness and/or annoyance.

This will make it difficult for them to respond appropriately to gestures or words of affection. What's more, the reaction may be irritated, as it may be too difficult for such a person's brain to process and respond to gestures of love and affection.

5. Giving up your favorite activities

An uncharacteristic lack of interest in a favorite activity for an extended period of time can be a sign of depression. As mentioned above, depression leads to physical and mental exhaustion, making it difficult to enjoy your favorite activities.

Previously loved activities may even lose their appeal altogether, because depression also usually makes it difficult to enjoy or feel satisfied with everything. If there is no other way to explain the waning interest, it could be a symptom of clinical depression.

6. Appetite

Abnormal eating habits mainly develop for two reasons: either as a form of coping or as a side effect of lack of self-care. Eating too little or too much food is a common sign of depression.

Overeating is often more likely to occur because food may be one of the few sources of pleasure that a depressed person is able to give himself. And when a person eats too little, it's often because depression affects their appetite and makes food unappealing. It can also be a subconscious phenomenon.

7. More attention

A depressed person cannot function like a mentally healthy person. In any case, there will be things that he will not be able to do at all. Shaming him for something like that will only make the situation worse. Therefore, it is always necessary to treat such problems with understanding, because a person does not “jump”, but experiences real health problems.

8. "Good days"

Depression can have its ups and downs. If someone has latent or undiagnosed depression, they may feel like random mood swings are happening. If a person is known to have depression, it can be erroneously assumed that it has passed when they enter a period of "remission" or "good days". Assuming a person is fully recovered and pushing too hard on them will cause them to withdraw into themselves again.

BONUS

Many believe that one of the causes of depression is gadgets. So it or not to solve to everyone.
But it definitely exists.

Even with a great desire, they hardly manage to find something positive around: in events, the behavior of other people.

There is a negative attitude towards the future. A depressed person is a real pessimist. Every joyful event is immediately poisoned by the thought of the fragility of joy, of that grief that will come to replace joy. Nothing is expected of the future but misfortune and hardship.

The attitude towards the past is somewhat different - it is mainly a source of remorse about the real or imaginary mistakes made by them, as well as missed opportunities. Many depressive individuals are haunted by a certainty of their own guilt, which colors for them with an extremely heavy feeling the memories of the most ordinary acts of youth. Accordingly, it often seems to them that others treat them with contempt, look down on them. This makes them shun other people, withdraw into themselves.

A depressed person is extremely sensitive to all sorts of troubles that happen in life. Often they react very sharply even to not the most unpleasant events. No matter how successful things are, there is a characteristic anxious expectation of misfortune.

If self-flagellation acquires a permanent and painful character, a depressive person plunges headlong into self-flagellation and completely ceases to be interested in the surrounding reality, becomes indifferent and indifferent to it.

With his gloom, gloomy thoughts, constant discontent, and little talkativeness, a depressive person involuntarily repels others, even sympathizers. Loneliness can deepen depressive experiences.

With external gloom, the nature of the attitude towards others is quite positive. A depressed person is often capable of great kindness, responsiveness. She understands the mental movements of other people quite well. In a close circle of loved ones, surrounded by an atmosphere of sympathy and love, she becomes cheerful, friendly, talkative, can successfully joke and even be the “soul of the company”. Thus, the depressed personality usually retains the ability to be infected by the general merriment.

In movements, in facial expressions and pantomime, inhibition is usually visible:

drooping facial features,

Hands dangling helplessly

Stingy, sluggish gestures.

Appearance, as it were, reports hopeless despondency.

The work activity of a usually depressed person is unpleasant, and fatigue soon occurs from it. In what they have done, they notice mostly mistakes, but in what lies ahead - so many difficulties that in anticipation of them they involuntarily give up. A depressed person is usually incapable of prolonged volitional tension, easily falls into despair in the face of difficulties. As a result - extreme indecision and inability to take effective initiative.

Physically active activity, a depressed person often prefers reflection and intellectual work. But at the same time, mental work is colored unpleasantly, accompanied by a feeling of great tension. Here, too, internal inhibition is felt, manifesting itself in the extreme slowness of intellectual processes. The speed of intellectual processes is low, although this may not affect the quality. Many depressed individuals are highly intelligent.

Physical well-being is usually completely dependent on mood. Usually a depressed person is haunted by a feeling of constant fatigue and weakness, especially in the morning. The head seems stale, tormented by a feeling of pressure in it. Some complain of severe migraines. The intestines do not work well, and constant constipation worsens mood even more. The stomach may suffer from nervous dyspepsia. Poor sleep at night, often accompanied by nightmares. Sleepiness during the day is possible.

What is depression and who are depressed people?

We all know what depression looks like, many of us have even experienced it: enduring sadness, a feeling of lack of energy, no joy in ordinary things, it is impossible to concentrate on something, there is no desire to communicate not only with acquaintances, but also with loved ones, as well as with friends, complete or partial lack of sleep, appetite, or, on the contrary, overeating. What is considered depression is a sharply lowered background of mood, a pessimistic view of the future, a breakdown and general lethargy (apathy).

Depression, while similar to grief, is not. Freud also noticed an important difference: in the ordinary experience of grief, the external world is perceived as having lost something important, while in depression, the state of being lost and broken is an internal state. People who experience grief do not become depressed, even if they are in deep sadness after a bereavement. At one time, one of the most famous psychoanalysts, Greenson, believed that: analysts who themselves did not suffer from serious depression experience difficulty in working as healers.

In fact, the feeling of injustice causes suffering to depressed people, they experience an all-encompassing and lasting sadness. Such people most often use introjection as a psychological defense. When working with depressed patients, one can almost hear the internalized object speaking. When the client says something like, "It must be because I'm selfish," the therapist may respond, "Who said that?" and hear: "My mother" (or father, grandmother, grandfather, older sibling, or someone else who is an internalized critic). Speaking of introjection, the type that characterizes depressed people is the unconscious internalization of the most hated qualities of old love objects. Their positive traits are remembered with gratitude, while the negative ones are experienced as part of oneself, and he always turns against the person himself. In order to feel whole, depressed people need to take it into their own “I” when experiencing incompleteness, even if negative qualities are taken in at the same time. Turning the aggression on yourself helps reduce anxiety.

Often depressed people also use idealization as a defense. They perceive others exclusively as beautiful people, then they experience the humiliation of comparison, then they again look for objects for idealization for compensation. And this cycle is endless.

The most important thing in the therapy of depressed people is an atmosphere of acceptance, respect, understanding and patience. To perceive development sensitively, if a person has never entered into rivalry and begins to compete with the therapist, it is worth paying attention to this and investigating it in detail, and not perceiving it as resistance. It is worth encouraging the debunking of their myths, the halo of idealization around the therapist. Such patients need to gradually leave the position "from below", acquire adequate self-esteem and adequately perceive others with all their flaws.

If you need help and support in order to cope with depression, I am ready to help you.

Depressive personality type: who sees life in black?

“There is nothing to rejoice here”, “No matter how hard you try, nothing will work anyway”; “As always, I was not up to par.” Psychotherapist Christophe Andre talks about people with a pessimistic outlook on life and how to live next to them*.

A depressed person is almost always pessimistic. In different situations, whether it is about family, work or something new, he thinks first of all about possible troubles. His mood is most often gloomy, as evidenced by his expression, sad and preoccupied. He rarely feels pleasure, does not look for activities that are pleasant for himself, partly because nothing seems like that to him. He often feels guilty and clearly underestimates himself. It seems to such people that life is difficult, everything requires effort and causes suffering. And this sense of their own weakness and vulnerability prevents them from achieving success in the profession. Either the slightest effort scares them away, or they are pessimistic (“nothing good will come of it anyway”), or they have forgotten what it means to experience pleasure. If you suggest that they go somewhere, they will most likely prefer to stay at home. They do not like society, the companies of other people tire them, perhaps because they themselves consider themselves uninteresting interlocutors.

This is not to say that these traits are typical of all depressive individuals. Many of them are very conscientious, work hard, try to do their best, take care of their professional or family environment. But be that as it may, in such people we observe:

• a negative view of oneself: "I'm not up to par";
• negative view of the world: "The world is cruel and unfair";
• negative outlook on the future: “I and my loved ones are in trouble”;

This triple negative view is called the depressive triad. It is also seen in people who are depressed.

Doctor, where is this from?

It has been irrefutably proven that heredity plays a decisive role in the emergence and formation of a depressive personality. If you sort through all the relatives of such a person, it is often found that some of them suffered from depression. But education is also important. For example, the image of parents who are constantly tired, preoccupied, not allowing themselves the slightest joy, can serve as a model that the child will unconsciously imitate. It can be assumed that in children, everything that contributes to the creation of a negative self-image increases the risk of developing a depressive personality, especially if the child is biologically predisposed to this. Some traditional types of education, when ideals of perfection are imposed on children that are clearly unattainable for them, can develop a sense of their own inferiority and guilt, and this, in turn, leads to the formation of a depressive personality.

“I think I was raised to believe that I didn’t deserve to be happy. My father worked from dawn to dusk and did not allow himself a single minute of rest. I myself and my brothers received a very strict Christian upbringing. At the same time, the emphasis has always been on the dark side: we are sinners, we must constantly remind ourselves that Christ gave His life to atone for our sins. It really affected me - impressionable and insecure. Until now, in everything I am looking first of all for my own fault, I often reproach myself for selfishness (that I am an egoist, my mother constantly repeated). It is difficult for me to ask for something, and even more so to demand, as if defending my own opinion or my own interests is really “selfish”. Now I am much happier than before, but this does not solve all the problems: when something good happens to me and I rejoice, there is immediately a feeling of an imminent catastrophe, as if for every minute of happiness I should be “punished” by misfortune, - remembers Thibault.

How to help yourself?

Many people think that understanding and realizing the situation means improving it, but this, alas, is far from being the case. Many depressed individuals endlessly "chew" the various causes of their condition, but cannot get out of it. Being aware of something is often very helpful, but usually not enough. In addition, there are reasons why depressed individuals are reluctant to seek help.

1. They do not consider their condition to be a disease, but they think that it is all about their character.

2. As long as they manage to cope with their professional and family responsibilities, they do not see the need to seek outside help.

3. They believe in willpower. Of course, they feel bad, but they think that if they can show their will, “shake themselves”, they will feel better. People around often share this opinion and do not skimp on this kind of advice.

4. They think that their case is special and that talking to a specialist is useless.

5. Distrustful of medicines, do not see the need for them.

6. They are so used to feeling bad that they don’t even know what it means to feel good, and therefore they can’t even want it.

7. They manage to boost their self-esteem by convincing themselves that they endure the hardships of life.

8. Sometimes their problems give them some advantages: the sympathy of others, the ability to “put pressure” on children, not to show proper attention, and so on.

Rules of behavior with a depressive personality

What do we have to do

• Use questions to draw their attention to the positive side of the situation. For example, your friend has received a responsible position and is sure that he will not cope. Perhaps you really want to say: “You always see everything in a black light! Stop complaining! But this will not lead to anything good. He will be left with the impression that no one understands or wants to understand him, and this will only aggravate his depressive outlook on life. Better try, without denying his fears and beliefs, to recall the positive aspects of the situation, and do it in the form of questions. “Of course it will be difficult, but it’s interesting, isn’t it?” Do not speak sharply and forcefully with a depressed person, try to find and give examples from the past when he was pessimistic, but, nevertheless, everything was resolved successfully.
• Engage them in enjoyable activities that are compatible with their abilities.
• They like to reject everything that can give them pleasure. There are many reasons for this, and they are interconnected: fatigue, poor health, fear of not being up to par, a feeling of guilt (“I have no right to pleasure”) and, most importantly, the conviction that the situation will certainly not turn out in their favor. In dealing with such people, two extremes must be avoided. On the one hand, they should not be completely left to them - "let them try if they want." On the other hand, you should not impose on them what is beyond their strength. This is difficult and requires effort from those around you: you need to remain calm, positive and benevolent.
• Show them respect and praise on specific occasions. Moderate praise for what they have done will increase their self-esteem. But it is worth praising not the person himself, but what he did, or his behavior. For example, if you tell your assistant: “You are an excellent specialist,” she will think that you either do not notice her shortcomings, or put her so low that you try to comfort her. But if you say, "I think you did a great job with this story," she's more likely to accept that modest praise because it's based on a specific fact.
• Suggest that they see a specialist. They may be helped by medication or psychotherapy. But to convince them of this, it will take a lot of time and diplomatic efforts.

What not to do

• Advise them to shake things up. "Get a hold of yourself!" "Who wants, he can!". As a rule, people around willingly give such advice, but they do not have the slightest sense. Even if a depressed person tries to follow them, he will feel misunderstood, rejected and hurt.
• Read morals to them. "Where is your will?" “Look at me, I keep myself in control all the time!” Such statements are also in great use. But neither moralizing nor accusatory tone will help you. It's like blaming a near-sighted person for seeing poorly, or a person who sprained his leg for being lame. Many depressed individuals already live with a constant sense of guilt, there is no need to increase it.
• Give in to their mood. Next to them, so sad and preoccupied, we also fall into sadness or begin to feel a vague sense of guilt due to the fact that we cannot share their pain. Merging with them together will not help, as well as trying to stir them up. Respect your longing for freedom and joy, even if interacting with a depressed person sometimes causes you to forget about it.

• If this is your boss, check in regularly to make sure everything is going well at work.
• If this is your employee, praise him more often.
• If this is your life partner, let him (her) read this article.

* F. Lelor, K. Andre “He is a schizophrenic. How to deal with difficult people” (Generation, 2007).

How are personality traits related to immunity?

Our personality determines how we interact with the outside world, build our lives, cope with stress. Is there a link between personality traits and health?

Chronic depression affects memories and emotions

Frequent depression leads to a decrease in the size of the hippocampus. However, most likely, damage to this area of ​​the brain is reversible, the researchers say.

Mood disorders: "Napoleons are no longer to be found"

Affective disorders (mood disorders) come in many varieties, affect fractions of a percentage of the population, but are so pronounced that they inevitably attract our attention. What is the mechanism of the disease and what happens to those who suffer from this disease?

Why are bipolars so popular?

In the press, at work, in the company of friends, there is a lot of talk about the phenomenon of bipolarity, about bipolar affective disorder. Until recently known only to specialists, this term is now used everywhere. Read our research on the trendiest emotional illness.

Depression and depressive traits.

How to distinguish depression from depressive personality accentuation, from depressiveness? Depressive personality accentuation and depression are two different things. Depression is a disease, while depression is a personality trait. Depression is a persistent decrease in mood, lasting at least 2 weeks, depression completely absorbs a person, he becomes less active, the desire to do anything disappears. In order to determine if you have depression, and if so, to what extent, you can take clinical tests for depression.

If, judging by the Leonhard test, depressive traits are noticeable in your character, this does not mean at all that you are sick and depression is now your lot. In order to find out how pronounced depression is in your character, you can take the Leonhard test. If you have a score on the dysthymia scale, and less than 12 points on the hyperthymia scale, then you are characterized by depression (depressive personality accentuation). There are many people with depressive traits who do not require treatment. People with depressive accentuation know how to sincerely love, endure hardships and life's difficulties. Psychotherapy for these people is indicated only in cases of the development of painful conditions that disrupt a calm and harmonious life. The following situation can serve as an example of trouble:

With such disorders, depressive individuals in love relationships are dominated by the fear of loneliness and the development of the following, already painful, conditions may occur:

2) a tendency to comfort, passive expectation, undemanding to life

6) apathy, idleness, drug abuse.

People with depression submit their lives to the demands of those around them, while giving up their own desires for fear of losing relationships and subsequent loneliness. A depressed person tends to take a wait-and-see attitude and, as a result, feels disappointed in relation to other people, since their hopes that others will fulfill their desires and needs are often not justified.

People with depression, because of the desire to feel safe, always strive to reduce the psychological distance that separates them from their partner. They strive for psychological fusion with a partner. In such relationships, the principle “The main thing is what you want” is elevated to the absolute.

2) Develop your own individuality, turn inward.

6) Learn to love yourself first and then others.

Depressive aggressiveness takes the form of lamentations, complaints and lamentations. “People are so angry and merciless”, “I have suffered so much”, “I am never lucky”, “I feel so bad, and you ...” If at first the partner takes part, then these debilitating lamentations may seem excessive. And the partner, having understood the situation, is freed from the feeling of guilt that the depressive person imposes on him. Instead of directly expressing reproaches and anger to a partner, a depressed person first feels sorry for himself, and then begins to hate himself. Hatred directed at oneself can begin to manifest itself in subconscious self-punishment, and in development reach completely conscious destructive actions.

Surely many of the items on the above list will seem familiar, common truths. The question often arises, how to implement all this, how to implement these points when there is no energy, “I’m depressed.” I want to answer this as follows: the development of higher mental functions in man has an evolutionary history. At the dawn of mankind, instincts ruled the ball, which were then suppressed through a series of successive mechanisms: the authority and strength of the leader, totem and paganism, religion, morality and ethics, which together form the development, prohibitions and restrictions of the modern super-ego, as a higher mental function in comparison with ego. However, there are higher mental functions of a person, such as will, faith and creativity. When there is no energy, when "I'm depressed," there comes a wonderful moment for the manifestation of your strong-willed qualities. It is these highest qualities of the human psychic organization that open the way to further Evolution and the development of spiritual life. A lot depends on simple concrete actions, for which if there is no energy, there is a will! Even in order to help yourself and take the first step - to see a psychotherapist, you often need to make an effort. But for a step into the void from the roof of a multi-storey building, no effort is required, since this is an escape from Life, from oneself. Escape to nowhere, to nothing.

It is the will that helps to overcome hopelessness, depression, mental pain. Develop a plan and follow that plan despite feeling unwell and lacking energy. It will take very little time for faith to be born next to the will. Faith as emotional support for the here-and-now moment. Faith as a sense of the meaning of the interaction around you. Faith as a way of knowing Life in all its manifestations and creative self-realization.

11 habits of people with hidden depression

hedgepom

October 10 is World Mental Health Day. It is held to inform the public about mental health issues.

Depression is known to be the most common mental illness. On this day, we would like you to pay attention to your loved ones after reading this article. Perhaps your most dear and beloved person suffers from this disease, suffers from it, but does not want to open up to you.

Know that depression can often go unnoticed and unrecognized. A person with hidden depression is a person who struggles with his inner demons and tries not to show them to anyone. Such people may or may not be treated, they may share their condition with loved ones, or they may not. The problem is that the world gets bleaker when we stop trying to understand each other. We tend to think that the hardships of life are not hidden and that they are as easy to spot as a scar from a battle.

But know that spiritual wounds are sometimes very difficult to see, especially for those who do not even try to do this.

1. They may deliberately try to look like they are doing well and even constantly radiate streams of happiness and always be on the rise.

If you think that people with depression are always dull and gloomy companions, then you are mistaken. Depression is not just a bad mood. Those who live with constant depression can learn to manage their surface emotions, and even be the most seemingly “happy” person in your environment. We are all different. Quite often, people with deep depression control themselves in public and look quite positive, despite what is going on in their souls. No one wants to upset others with their problems, even if it means hiding their true feelings.

2. They may be constantly taking some kind of medication.

There are serious treatments for depression such as medication.

But besides the drugs themselves, there are also daily habits, like a lifestyle.

For example, certain music, exercises, walks, in general, everything that

helps them get out of the black depressive hole. Hidden depression is really terrible, especially when a person is forced to deal with it alone.

3. They may have big breakup problems.

If you've ever been depressed, then you can understand what it is.

a heavy burden, and not only for the one who is depressed, but also for the one who is nearby. Sometimes when you let someone get too close and let them see your struggle and misfortune, that person just walks away. Of course, it’s hard to blame those who leave, but for a person with depression, a simple breakup can result in a constant feeling of abandonment by everyone and a feeling of loneliness.

Therefore, they often hide depression even from loved ones. After all, there is nothing

it hurts more to understand that the dark side of your soul is so terrible that even a loving person cannot look at it.

4. They can make up stories that cover their actions.

It could be anything from cuts to their wrist to skipping lunch. People living with various types of depression experience many difficulties that can interfere with the normal course of their lives from time to time. In such cases, they come up with all sorts of excuses to cover up the results of their mental pain. Most often, they themselves do not want to admit that they are on the very edge, so they know very well how to hide their condition.

5. They may have strange deviations in food intake or daily routine.

These signs may seem minor, but they have serious consequences.

Those who live trying to hide their depression sometimes show only slight hints of it. Excessive or insufficient sleep is one of the most obvious signs of depression. It's the same with nutrition - if your loved one eats too much or too little, then this is an alarm bell. Sleep and nutrition are the most important elements of health. And these elements a person is able to control independently. Depression creates such conditions that a person take control of himself. Sleep can be the only way to turn off your mind and get away from pain, or, conversely, become an impossible achievement due to obsessive thoughts. It's the same with food.

6. They may have a different, more serious view of the substances they consume.

A person struggling with depression knows very well what and how affects his mood.

They know that alcohol is a depressant, and if you drink too much of it, it will be impossible to manage your depressive mood and not show it. They are also well aware that caffeine and sugar lift their spirits, as do prescribed antidepressants. And they know perfectly well what and with what they should not be interfered with.

All this they know so well, because all of the above changes their mood much more than in people who do not suffer from depression.

7. They may have very clear but difficult to understand ideas about life and death.

Not every person with depression has suicidal thoughts. However, depression often provokes reflection on the meaning of life. And a person begins to frantically search for all the answers to life's questions, realizing that everything inevitably leads to death. Such frequent immersion in painful thoughts can lead to the fact that it will no longer be possible to emerge from them.

8. They are most often talented and expressive.

Many of the best inspiring artists, musicians, and leaders in our world are also stricken with this plague called mental illness. Such a depth of emotions experienced by them most often results in their work. They are able to combine in it the good and bad parts of their souls and show the beauty of life through the shadows of the emotions that they experience.

9. They often look for the meaning of something.

Everyone wants to have a purpose in life. We want to be sure that everything we do, we do for good. To be sure that we are moving in the right direction.

And people with latent depression also want all this, but with even more

thirst and great desperation. Feelings of fear and inadequacy of what is happening are far from new for those whose minds and souls are under the yoke of depression. And very often such people want to somehow compensate for their inner fragility and vulnerability.

Therefore, they can change the direction in which they go much more often and be incredibly passionate about the search for real true happiness.

10. Sometimes they can show their pain and give a faint hint that they need help.

Even a person who has already adjusted to his depression and knows how to live with this burden sometimes needs help. But such cries of desperation from people who always look strong are easy to miss. Sometimes it is simply dangerous for them to be alone, even if they claim otherwise. And if suddenly they were able to open up to you and tell you what is happening to them, then know that this is one of the most important moments, it is precisely such moments that create a strong and reliable bridge in your relationship, because it is impossible to constantly torment yourself and hide your true feelings in front of the best. friend or loved one.

11. They seek love and support just like everyone else.

Not showing the world your spiritual demons is not dishonest.

People live hiding their depression in order to gain protection. Protection for their hearts, and the hearts of the people who surround them.

We live in a world that forces us to hide everything that looks

ugly and ugly. But we are not obliged to do so.

And the best thing you can do for people with depression is to understand that they need love and support, just like every person on this earth.

Never turn your back on a person who is at war with himself. Cry when you feel like it. Reach out a helping hand, even if the door is slammed in front of you. Open your soul despite the fear of being misunderstood. If we continue to ignore the bad, then the good will go unnoticed.

depression depression depressive

Wonderful day today. Either go drink tea, or hang yourself.

Depression is when it is easier to manually unload a wagon of bricks,

than pick up the phone.

I feel bad. As if Columbus has finally reached the shores of America, but America is disgusting to him.

Maksim Gorky. Exhaust steam

Depressiveness as a personality trait - a tendency in the normal state to show chronic depression and depression of mood; the predominance of negative in self-esteem, emotional state.

A man comes in a depressed state to a psychologist: - Doctor, I have depression. - And the reason? - No success with women. I am 35 years old, and women I know have little interest in me. Some people even scare me. - Well, we'll fix it. So so. Every morning go to the mirror and repeat - I am charming, strong, smart, women adore me, dream of me. Try to convince yourself of this. You will see, in a week all your acquaintances and unfamiliar women will be hung around your neck. Three weeks later he comes again, even more gloomy. The doctor asks: - Really did not help? - No, it helped. Helped a lot. There have been women in the last two weeks - lick your fingers. So, no problem, then? - Yes, that's just the point, that there is. Now my wife is in trouble.

Depression is not the same as depression. Depression is a painful condition lasting at least two weeks, characterized by an oppressed, depressed mood; type of mental disorder. Depression is a quality of a person, a person who looks gloomy and gloomy from childhood, does not trust other people and the world as a whole, does not believe in himself, considers himself unworthy of love, is stuffed with all sorts of fears and complexes. In other words, depression is her usual, ordinary state, and she does not know that the world can be seen in the entire palette of colors, and not just in black.

Depression is the daughter of selfishness. The origins of depression and depression is that a person thinks only about himself. Start thinking about selfless service to others, about compassion, that is, actively helping other people, and there will be no trace of depression and depression. The whole world is suffering from depression. Look at these faces - immediately the ardor will leave their faces. All gloomy, gloomy and evil. Under the mask of smiling, the “ears” of depression are visible. And all because a person is exclusively occupied with himself, his problems, his unsatisfied desires. This is an important point. The secret of depression and depression is hidden in selfishness, and the panacea for them is selfless service to people.

When the whole life is a black streak, and the thought of the fear of loneliness dominates in the mind, a person willy-nilly can develop, according to psychotherapists, the following painful conditions: 1. modesty and timidity- as inhibition of the ability to self-affirmation; 2. tendency to comfort, passive expectation, undemanding to life; 3) hopelessness; 4) depression; 5) melancholy; 6) apathy, idleness, drug abuse.

Depressiveness is an invalid of enthusiasm. She is always surrounded by depression, negativism, increased restlessness, anxiety and agitation. She is passive, lack of initiative, extremely sensitive and vulnerable to unpleasant situations. Depressiveness does not believe in joyfulness. She believes that things will never get better. If fate gives her moments of joy, she watches herself suspiciously and warily from the side, as if she is waiting for a new cruel lesson from fate in the future. Therefore, depression is closed, enslaved and uncommunicative. She is open and frank only with well-tested people. At the same time, she is strongly attached to them and dependent on them.

Depressed people need respect, support, a high assessment of their personality traits, assurances of their significance, usefulness, importance and social weight. In any undertaking, they see only negative aspects. Kristina Khutsishvili writes in Triumph: “Depressed people think about what it is like to be ugly, fat, unlucky, sick, abandoned. It's like pieces of a broken bottle. They turn in their hands first one, then the other, then several at once and do not notice how they are being cut. And they don’t even put aside those considered separately from the rest, but constantly return to them. One fragment is war, the other is the pain of betrayal, the third is an accident. Naturally, one conclusion comes to them - everything is useless, you cannot change the world, it will still be unfair, so what's the point in getting out of bed, taking a shower, having breakfast ... I stand on the edge and look down. View of the ground from a height of the twenty-second floor. This is the only thing left for me. My only choice. I don't care about anything and I don't regret anything. I almost don't feel anything anymore. Therefore, I was left with only this land. View from the twenty-second floor. Nobody can take it away. There must be something that no one can take away. I come here when there's nothing else to do. I come to feel fear or certainty. To see once again that both I and every person on earth have a choice. Option one is to continue. Option two - twenty-two floors down.

New York. A man is driving along Verrazano - Bridge. Looks - the girl is standing, she was going to jump. He - on the brakes and let her yell: - What are you, miss! Don't you dare to do it! She: - You do not understand. I'm so depressed. I don't want to live! I keep jumping… He: - Wait! I am a sailor, I will take you to the ship. I'll hide in the hold. We will sail to Paris. You will see London, Rome… Your depression will pass and you will live happily ever after! And persuaded. Brought to the ship, and sailed. Every evening he visited her in the hold. He brought her food ... Well, and from her he had everything, of course, too ... And they sailed like that for two weeks. And then, one day, the captain, making a detour, found her in the hold. And the miss begged: - I beg you, do not fire the sailor! He is so good… He saved my life. I was so depressed. I almost killed myself. And he brought me here. He promised that I would see London, Paris, Rome! . . And I will find happiness again ... And the captain answered: - Which London, miss, which Paris? It's a ferry!

Depression is diagnosed through personality questionnaires, in particular the Leonhard test. There are 88 questions in the test. Here are some of them: Do you often have a cheerful and carefree mood? Are you sensitive to insults? Does it happen that tears come to your eyes in the cinema, theater, conversation, etc.? Do you often have a sharp change in mood from a state of boundless glee to disgust for life, for yourself? Does it happen that you are in such a grouchy state for no reason that it is better not to talk to you? Do you often have a feeling of inner unrest, a feeling of possible trouble, trouble? Can you be completely carefree fun? Do you think you would make a host in a humorous play? Does it happen that after a conflict, resentment, you were so upset that going to work seemed simply unbearable? Can your mood change so abruptly that your state of joy is suddenly replaced by gloomy and depressed?

If you have a score on the dysthymia scale, and less than 12 points on the hyperthymia scale, then you are characterized by depression. There are a lot of depressed people, but this does not mean that they need to rush to the doctor at the speed of a racing horse. Psychotherapy for these people is necessary only in cases of development of painful conditions that violate a calm and harmonious life. When depression becomes normal, you need to rush to the doctor.

Doctor: - This is from fatigue, this is from nervous tension, and this is from depression. - Thank you, doctor, thank you... Do you have anything but vodka?

How are depressed people different?

Just as a ball that has been blown out of air stops bouncing, so a person in a state of depression loses composure, the ability to act. He believes that things are bad, everything seems dull, ambiguous, foggy to him; he feels useless, beaten, powerless and completely alone. It seems to him that his strength is leaving, he is losing his taste for life, in a sense he renounces it. In this state, a person no longer sees his own value. It is, as it were, enclosed in a dark and endless tunnel.

The main symptoms of depression are: loss of interest in daily activities, feelings of despair or depression, accompanied by fatigue or loss of energy, inability to concentrate, indifference, isolation, constant thinking about the same thing. As a rule, a person suffering from depression does not want to be helped, and believes that everything is fine with him, but others should change. He does not sleep well, even if he takes sleeping pills; talks little and tends to avoid people. He may even develop a desire to kill himself. Depression is often confused with occupational exhaustion.

Depression is a means of protection from pressure, pressure, especially emotional. A person resorts to this remedy when he feels that he has approached his LIMIT and is no longer able to withstand emotional stress. Depression is more prone to people who are in a bad relationship with a parent of the opposite sex. This explains the fact that a person in a state of depression is usually inclined to blame the spouse for everything. This is one of the varieties of psychological transference. A man suffering from depression treats his wife the way he would like to, but does not dare to treat his mother. Refusing to accept help, he continues to feed ANGER and HATE towards the parent of the opposite sex and revels in his pain.

Since a person in a state of depression usually does not want to either get out of it himself or accept the help of others, only people close to him can bring him out of this state. If one of your friends or relatives suffers from depression, I advise you to behave with this person firmly, even harshly. Tell him that no one in the world can save him, only he must do it himself.

The most important thing that he needs to ACCEPT is the fact that depression is due to mental suffering experienced in childhood or adolescence at the ESSENCE level. He refuses to be himself. The most common psychological block is the feeling of REJECTED or the fear of being rejected. This person needs to understand that even if he was rejected in childhood or adolescence, this does not mean at all that his parents did not love him. Rather, the parent who rejected him was rejected by the father or mother and is rejecting himself. The first step in overcoming depression is to feel compassion for that parent and forgive them.

About the depressive

About depression as a reaction to any traumatic event, I wrote repeatedly. In the same article, I want to talk about the depressive character.

Life long depression

There are people who have depression, one might say, lasts a lifetime. Only the intensity of the experiences changes. From "unbearably bad" to just "bad". All their lives they are accompanied by a feeling of their own insolvency, uselessness, loneliness, abandonment. A constant feeling of guilt - often it is not at all clear why. The belief that lives in the depths of the soul that without them the world will only get better, that they are unworthy of living and enjoying life. And longing, longing, longing.

Relations with others, for obvious reasons, do not go well. Depressed people are sure that there is nothing to love them for, so they never feel calm in a relationship. They're always waiting for someone to leave them. They will not endure their suffering, their bad mood, their imperfections. And in order to save another from this torment, they leave themselves. Again in loneliness and longing.

Trying to argue with a depressed person, to prove to him that he is good, that he is loved and needed is practically useless. All these persuasions are empty words. A depressed person believes that if he is considered worthy of a better life, it is only because he is not well known. But if they find out properly, they will immediately stop being mistaken.

In a word, the most cruel enemy of a person with a depressive character is himself. He himself is both a stern, incorruptible judge, and an executioner, and a raging crowd watching the execution.

Even if a depressed person achieves well-deserved success, he will rapidly devalue all his achievements. The joy will be very short-lived. The failures that happen to everyone will be regarded as superfluous and convincing proof of their own insolvency. Whatever happens to a person, everything will somehow lead to suffering. Guilt, sadness, loneliness - this is the result of any action or inaction.

And, I repeat, proving the opposite is absolutely meaningless. At the beginning of my practice, having not yet had much experience with depressed people, I struggled to give them support and acceptance - something that they seemed to totally need. But the more I convinced them that they could be loved, the more they resisted. The more I supported them, the deeper they went into guilt and shame. It was a vicious circle that plunged us both into despair.

Psychoanalysis of depression

And only when I got acquainted with the psychoanalytic view of depression and changed the tactics of my work, everything fell into place.

How is a depressive character formed from the point of view of psychoanalysis? A very simple thing happens. A child at an early age experiences the loss of a significant object. Most often, mothers. And here it is absolutely unimportant whether the loss occurred in reality (for example, the death of the mother) or only in the child's fantasy. If the mother, say, is emotionally cold, distant from the baby, or the father is absent for a long time and does not show interest in the child, the child may have a strong impression that he was abandoned. Naturally, the child begins to feel angry at the adult who left him. But a child cannot be angry openly at mom or dad. Firstly, he sincerely loves them, and secondly, it is dangerous - severe punishment will inevitably follow. I emphasize that all this happens only in the imagination of the child.

And then the child's psyche splits the image of the parent. There is a beloved mother, good and kind. And there is a bad one - an evil one who left. And this bad mother is placed inside the child's psyche. The child absorbs this negative image. It becomes like a part of himself.

And now all the anger can be directed at him. That rage, which is intended for a person who suddenly left, deprived of the necessary warmth, love, now unfolds inside himself. It's not my mother who is bad, it's me who is bad.

In essence, depression is aggression turned against itself. That is why, to convince a person that he is a good, meaningless task. The only way to really change anything is to help him turn his aggression outward. As soon as a depressed person learns to show aggression towards others, his depression will subside.

Moreover, aggression here is not screams and scandals, as is often thought. In everyday life terms, this is the ability to defend one's interests, to protect one's space, oneself. Without feeling guilty about it. This is the ability to quietly separate from other people when necessary. And allow yourself sometimes to be angry at the other, and not at yourself.

So the main task in therapeutic work with depression is to help a person to show aggression outwardly. Most often it happens that the first object of aggression is the therapist himself. And if the therapist is able to accept this aggression without fear, guilt, attempts to justify or attack in response, then the prognosis for the treatment will be good.

It is clear that this task is very difficult. The person must feel absolutely secure in the therapeutic relationship. He must be sure that this relationship and the therapist himself will withstand his aggression and not collapse. That he will not be punished and rejected if he behaves destructively. In short, you need a lot of trust. And that is why dealing with depression is neither quick nor easy. But the result is worth it.

Depressive personality / manic personality: laughter through tears invisible to the world

Depressive personality / manic personality: laughter through tears invisible to the world

Depression is a word that has become familiar in the everyday lexicon of a person. We say "I'm depressed" when we mean low mood, tiredness, apathy, or sadness.

Mania is less common and is associated with a psychiatric term. A manic state is a denial of depression, when inspiration, activity and irony hide the unbearable loneliness and unlived sadness.

That is, a manic personality has the same internal organization as a depressive one, but denies depression, falling into the opposite - mania. Mania is the other side of depression.

In pathological manic-depressive psychosis, a person falls into an excited state, without sleep and food, which is replaced by depression and suicidal desires, and so on in a circle.

With a manic-depressive personality type, which reflects the normal structure of the psyche and character of a person, depression and mania go hand in hand - a person experiences periods of melancholy and depression, and then inspiration. There are people who are mostly depressed, there are those who are mostly manic, and those who fluctuate from one pole to the other more or less regularly.

Thus, a manic-depressive person can experience phases of mania and depression in turn, and can also be manic in youth, and depressive in adulthood. May be predominantly manic or predominantly depressive.

The general characteristics of this psychotype are a through feeling of guilt, exaggerated sadness or joy, depending on whether the person is prone to depression or mania, respectively.

Navigation on the article "Depressive personality / manic personality: laughter through tears invisible to the world":

Depressive personality / manic personality: inner world and formation

The experience of early loss or rejection is a prominent theme in the family histories of depressed and manic people. Early weaning, stay in the hospital or intensive care, where the mother was not allowed, the parents worked hard, or often moved and changed their place of residence.

The loss itself will not lead to the formation of a depressive/manic character. But the family atmosphere, in which sadness is not encouraged, where the grieving child is instructed to “stop whining, “pull yourself together”, “selfish” - forms depressive tendencies.

Criticism and violence are found in the past of manic and depressive people. Children feel an unspoken ban on sadness, and it goes deep. Gradually, a belief in one's own wrongness arises.

At the age of 1.5 I was admitted to the hospital, I do not remember the circumstances. But I remember the piercing feeling of fear after the "betrayal" of my parents, when they handed me over to the doctors. Grief, loneliness, powerlessness and the feeling that something was wrong with me ... Later, there was a ban on resentment, because my parents did what was best for me. It is wrong to be offended, but I am offended, which means that I am “wrong”.

From a therapeutic conversation

If a bereaved child is too small, then he creates an assumption about his own "badness". "Daddy's moving out because he and Mommy don't fit together." A two-year-old child will not understand what this is about? A kid whose parent has disappeared suggests that this happened because he (the child) is bad. Children need age-appropriate explanations for their difficulties.

I was the youngest child in the family and learned the latest family news - my parents did not consider it necessary to initiate me into anything in a timely manner. Once, in my presence, the neighbors began to discuss the accident that my older sister had had the day before. By that time, my sister had already returned home, and, as it turned out, I still did not know anything ....

From a therapeutic conversation

Thus, the depressive personality and the manic personality both consider themselves to be bad at heart. They do the right thing, and are afraid to seem stupid, indecent or unworthy. Volunteers, altruists, philanthropists, representatives of the helping professions, psychologists - among them there are many people of a depressive warehouse.

Depressed people experience guilt as a consequence of feeling "I'm bad." Police departments are accustomed to receiving calls from morbidly depressed people claiming responsibility for crimes they could never have committed.

When I'm accused of a crime I didn't commit, I ask myself why I forgot about it.

William Goldman, writer

The manic person denies guilt, so he doesn't stop to listen to himself. Such people twist, move, laugh, so as not to face their own guilt and depression. They are joyful, highly active, flirtatious and showy, but they feel hidden guilt, incapable of being alone, superficial. Many comedians and comedians are manic - cheerful and witty, but suffer from depressive episodes when exhaustion sets in.

Because of guilt, depressed and manic people are sensitive to criticism, as they tend to hear only negative information about themselves. In the case of unconstructive criticism and attacks, a depressed person does not distinguish between truth and undeserved insult.

Manic and depressive people externally react to criticism in different ways - depressive people take it upon themselves and become sad, manic people actively deny criticism and ridicule the offender.

It is important to recognize negative feelings, to give them free rein. Then it becomes clear that anger ultimately brings people closer, in contrast to hypocrisy and non-contact.

A factor in the development of a depressive and manic character is clinical depression in the mother in the early years of the child. A depressed mother gives minimal care to a child, even if she wants the best for him. The child will subsequently feel that his needs are exhausting and exhausting those around him.

In the stories of people of a manic nature, even more serious losses are found: deaths of loved ones without the opportunity to mourn, divorces and separations that are not talked about, moves without preparation, criticism and violence, and the attention of parents is even more scarce than in people with a depressive character.

We have moved 12 times. One day I came home from school, and there was a truck at the house and they were packing things. So I realized that we are moving again.

From a therapeutic conversation

People who experienced in childhood the experience of frequent moving along with the prohibition to yearn and grieve for lost friends are more likely to be prone to the manic pole. The child is forbidden to experience negative feelings, he does not learn to cope with grief.

The phrases “stop whining”, “winding snot around your fist” impose a ban on sadness. A person learns prohibitions, denies sadness, and in the future is afraid of attachment to people and places, as he does not know how to cope with the pain of loss. A person becomes the opposite of the sad - superficial, grandiose, disturbingly cheerful - thus, a mania has formed.

Depressive personality/manic personality: relationships with others

Manic people are superficial, because they are afraid to become attached, so that later they will not experience the bitterness and sadness of loss, which, moreover, will be unrealistic to mourn and survive - there is no skill! They are charming, have and bind others to themselves, but without reciprocity and depth.

In my youth I had 20 sexual partners. Sometimes I dated three men at the same time, but I wasn't close to anyone. I didn’t know what intimacy was, I vaguely wanted something like that, but it was too scary, and I ran.

From a therapeutic conversation

It is important for a manic person to learn to stop. This will help the practice of meditation, yoga or daily diary entries. In adulthood, it becomes easier for manic people to experience sadness, stop and comprehend life. The energy weakens and the person learns to love with less fear.

I used to resemble a spinning top, as soon as something happened, I was literally “carried” somewhere. I could “wake up” in a strange city without money, but this did not become a problem, I was again “carried” further ...

From a therapeutic conversation

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