What position should a newborn baby sleep in? How much does a newborn baby sleep up to a month. Does a mother need to sleep with a small child How do small children sleep

Baby's sleep time

Duration and nature baby sleep are directly related to age. A newborn (up to 1 month old) sleeps most of the day, waking up only at the time of feeding. Due to physiological characteristics, a newborn's sleep can be very strong: he is not disturbed by various sounds and even tactile sensations (shifting, turning, etc.). However, already at the age of about 1 month, the baby becomes more sensitive to external stimuli. Wake periods are getting longer. By 3 months, the baby spends up to an hour and a half in an active state between feedings, and the total duration of his sleep is 18-20 hours a day. At 6 months, the baby sleeps for 16-18 hours. At the same time, a long period of night sleep (up to 5-6 hours) and two or three periods of daytime sleep during the day are clearly distinguished. A nine-month-old baby needs 14-16 hours of sleep, most children at this age have two daily naps. By the age of 1 year, the total duration of sleep is 14-15 hours, during the day the baby can sleep both once and twice.

The child confused day and night

physiological rhythm newborn sleep not much different from the rhythm of fetal sleep. Accordingly, the newborn does not have a "feeling of the night" in our understanding. Only in some babies, the period of continuous nighttime sleep is 5-6 hours and is established from the first weeks of life, while most newborns wake up at night every 2-3 hours, which is the norm for them. By the age of 2 months, the baby begins to distinguish daytime activity from nighttime: he has a period of wakefulness, clearly associated with the daytime. This becomes possible due to the gradual maturation of brain structures that respond to the level of illumination and are responsible for the formation of daily rhythms. Finally, the process of establishing a period of long baby sleep at night completed only by 2-3 years. However, adults are able to help the baby quickly establish the correct daily sleep rhythm using various techniques. First of all, it is necessary to distinguish between the levels of daytime and nighttime activity. So, the daytime hours should be sufficiently saturated with a variety of activities, including massage, gymnastics, walks, communication and games. The level of illumination of the nursery in the daytime should be higher, louder speech by adults, music, etc. Toward evening, the atmosphere surrounding the child should become more and more calm, and complete silence and darkness are preferable at night.

When to put the baby to bed

Departure dates for night sleep are individual and depend both on the characteristics of the child, who establishes his own regimen, and on the lifestyle of the whole family. Physiologically, in most newborns, the period night sleep comes after midnight, by 4-6 months gradually shifting to 21-22 hours. Thus, the best time for an infant to go to bed can be considered the period between 20 and 24 hours.

Sleep disturbance

As already mentioned, up to 2-3 months, when the daily baby rhythms are still being formed, periodic failures in sleep mode and wakefulness are quite acceptable if their causes lie in the physiological characteristics of the child's body. Another thing is when the regime is violated due to the actions of the parents. For example, adults are nocturnal and it is more convenient for them that the child is awake at night and wakes up as late as possible in the morning. Another option is that parents cannot or do not want to organize all the necessary activities for caring for a baby with a clear attachment to a certain time, as a result of which the baby is not able to quickly develop its own regimen. Parents of infants should remember that for the normal harmonious development of the child's body, a decrease in activity and prolonged sleep is required during the dark (night) time of the day, since at this time special hormones are produced that are necessary for the growth and development of all body systems.

Children's room: temperature and humidity

Relatively optimal temperature In the baby's room, disputes often arise between adults. Moreover, parents, as a rule, believe that the baby will freeze, while overheating is much more dangerous for him, which is explained by the still immature system of thermoregulation. Heat damage is exacerbated by the dryness of the air, which is common in homes with central heating and exacerbated by the use of electric heaters. Dry air, like a sponge, absorbs moisture from the surface of the mucous membranes of the respiratory tract, disrupting the free flow of mucus and removing irritants, allergens, dust and microbes from the body. Therefore, it is necessary to maintain the optimum temperature and humidity, and to control these parameters, it is advisable to place a thermometer and a hygrometer near the baby's crib.

At sleep time It is desirable to reduce the temperature in the room by 1-2 degrees. To do this, the room needs to be ventilated. Optimum temperature in the room for a newborn is 20-22 ° C, a baby 1-3 months old - 18-20 ° C, over 3 months - 18 ° C. A special temperature regime is maintained in the room of a child born prematurely or with low body weight. In this case, the temperature should be 24-25 ° C until the baby gains body weight, which is an individual norm for him. An infant should not sleep while the air conditioner is on, as it cools the air unevenly, allowing air to move and create drafts, which can lead to a cold. Recommended indoor humidity for sleep is 50-70?%. To create the required level of humidity, you can use humidifiers, or you can hang wet towels in the old fashioned way.

Cradle or crib

Since during the period of intrauterine development the baby was located in rather cramped conditions, many believe that it is easier for him to calm down and fall asleep in a cozy, warm nest - cradle. However, all children are individual, and if some prefer the cradle, then others sleep in the crib with the same success. Thus, the choice of a place to sleep is up to adults. It is only necessary to take into account that the use of the cradle is possible only in the first few months of life. In the future, the danger of falling out of the “nest” increases, as the baby becomes more and more active.

By the way, baby carriage should be used for sleeping only while walking. Sleeping in a wheelchair, if it is indoors, is not recommended due to its poor ventilation. At the same time, such negative consequences as overheating and insufficient oxygen supply to the baby’s body are possible, since he breathes “waste” air.

Where to put the crib

Ideally crib or bassinet Should be installed:

in conditions of sufficient illumination during the daytime. In this case, direct sunlight should be avoided, which can interfere with the daytime sleep of the baby and contribute to overheating. For these purposes, you can use various screens, blinds, etc.;
away from heating elements (central heating batteries, radiators, etc.), since near them there is increased dryness of the air and its higher temperature;
away from places where mold forms (as a rule, these are dark and damp areas of the apartment), since inhalation of fungal spores can lead to the development of respiratory diseases and the appearance of allergic reactions;
away from electrical appliances (TV, computer, fan, iron, etc.). Firstly, for safety reasons (the baby can pull the cord or overturn the device), and secondly, to eliminate the negative effects of electromagnetic radiation;
it is desirable that access to the baby cot be as free as possible. Excess furniture, large-sized toys, etc. can be a significant hindrance.For convenience, the crib can be moved close to the "bed" of the parents.

The decoration of the crib depends on the tastes of the parents. However, it should be noted that the use of a canopy and a bumper may interfere with the observation of the child, impair air ventilation and contribute to the accumulation of dust, which the child eventually breathes. Over time, when the baby learns to actively roll over, and then sit down and get up, the bumper will come in handy to protect the crumbs from hitting the hard parts of the crib. It should be remembered that the bumper should be washed regularly, especially if the child has a predisposition to allergies. This must be done at least once a week.

Baby pillow

For an infant, sleep is optimal on a flat, dense surface, which contributes to the correct location of the vertebrae along the spinal column, free breathing and normal blood supply. To achieve this effect, it is necessary to use a sufficiently dense and even mattress, while a pillow is not needed.

Blanket or envelope

Blanket or envelope can be used at room temperature below 18-20°C. In this case, it is necessary to ensure that the baby does not wrap himself in a blanket with his head, as a result of which he can suffocate. To prevent accidents, you can use a special envelope or a mesh blanket. At temperatures above 20 ° C, it is permissible to simply cover the baby with a diaper or a light blanket.

What to put baby to sleep in

It is preferable to use clothes made of soft, breathable and moisture-permeable natural fabrics, without coarse seams, elastic bands and large hard parts (buttons, appliqués, etc.). It is desirable that sleepwear provided the opportunity to quickly change the diaper without waking the baby. In this regard, it is convenient to use slips or sliders with unfastening buttons along the crotch. At air temperatures above 20 ° C, there is no need to dress the baby much warmer during sleep than during wakefulness, put on a cap, since children who are constantly overheated are more susceptible to colds.

On the back, on the side, on the stomach

A feature of infants is a tendency to regurgitation, which is explained by the weakness of the circular muscle that "locks" the stomach. Therefore, it is not recommended to put children under 1 year old. sleep on your back to exclude the possibility of food entering the respiratory tract. In any case, when positioned on the back, it is necessary to ensure that the head of the crumbs is turned to one side. Greater safety for the baby in cases of regurgitation provides sleep on side. Currently, special fixators are produced that hold the baby in the desired position and exclude the possibility of rolling over onto the back or tummy. In this case, it is advisable to periodically turn the crumbs to another barrel to avoid deterioration of local blood circulation, especially if the baby sleeps in diapers. The feasibility of sleeping on your stomach has long been a subject of debate.

On the one hand, it is known that this position improves the well-being of the baby with intestinal colic, and also stimulates the development of the muscles of the back and neck. On the other hand, it has been suggested that sleep on stomach increases the risk of developing sudden death syndrome. At the same time, the aggravating factor is sleeping on a pillow or a soft, uneven mattress where the baby's nasal passages may be closed to fresh air. If your baby likes to sleep on his stomach, you need to make sure that his bed is even and flat. It is not recommended to sleep in this position for children with signs of nasal breathing problems (nasal congestion), for example, with a cold or a viral infection.

Together with parents

It is preferable to put the baby in his own bed, because this makes it possible for adults to fully relax, eliminates the risk of crushing the baby, and more meets the requirements of hygiene. However, often for various reasons (the baby is sick and often wakes up at night, he is teething, etc.), parents put the child with them. In this case, to ensure the safety of the baby, it is necessary to control that he does not sleep on the pillow and does not bury his nose in it, is not covered with a blanket or pressed against one of the parents. The child is not swaddled so that he can move his arms. The baby should lie on his own sheet under his diaper, blanket or blanket, or be in a special envelope. It is also a smart decision to place the baby cot with the side panel removed close to the adult bed, which allows for the safety of the child and the convenience of the parents.

In order for the baby to quickly fall asleep without outside help, it is necessary from birth to form the correct associations of falling asleep in him, associated with certain environmental conditions, under which the child feels comfortable, calms down and falls asleep. This is facilitated by the observance of the established ritual of laying, for example: light massage, bathing, feeding, laying in the crib. It is important that the ritual is pleasant for the child, convenient for adults and repeated daily at the same time. Falling asleep associations can also be developed with the help of the so-called object mediator. In this capacity, there is a certain thing that is in the crib and serves as a kind of calmer. For a baby, it can be a mother's scarf, which always retains a subtle "native" smell, for older children - a toy. A good option would be to put the baby to a certain calm music - a lullaby. However, it is worth considering that if the “assistant” is lost, broken or replaced, it may be difficult to fall asleep.

Rocking a baby

Falling asleep of a child during motion sickness, in the arms of an adult, while sorting out his hair, with a bottle in his mouth refers to the wrong associations of falling asleep. If such associations are already entrenched in the psyche, with each awakening, which happen several times a night in infants, the baby will cry out to demand the creation of the same conditions under which he was taught to fall asleep.

If the baby has fixed the wrong sleep associations, the parents will need a certain restraint and consistency in order to replace the prevailing stereotypes with more acceptable ones. It is necessary to think over and begin the implementation of a new ritual of falling asleep. At the same time, the calmness and confidence of parents will help the child get used to the new rules more quickly. It is necessary to teach him to distinguish between night time and daytime, for this, minimizing communication with the baby in the dark, creating conditions for peace and quiet.

Night light for a child

Is it possible to watch TV or listen to music in the room where the baby sleeps?

In this case, the recommendations of doctors are unambiguous: for proper rest and normal development of the nervous system, the baby’s sleep should take place in conditions of relative silence. Although the newborn outwardly may not react to sounds in any way, the noise background does not allow the brain to consistently go through all the necessary phases of sleep, which means it can develop normally. An acceptable option for adults is to use headphones.

Child shudders in sleep

Determined that shuddering when falling asleep, as well as when changing sleep phases are a natural process. With age, as the nervous system matures and the inhibitory mechanisms of nervous regulation are formed, startles become less and less frequent and, in the end, may disappear completely.

The child is snoring

In newborns snoring often due to the peculiarity of the structure of the nasal cavity, when, due to the narrowness and sinuosity of the nasal passages, the poor development of the nasal conchas, air turbulences are created during breathing, causing the appearance of characteristic sounds. Another cause may be mucus that has accumulated in the nasal cavity. In this case, after the toilet of the nose, snoring stops.

handles up

Why do babies often sleep with their arms up? This is due to the phenomenon of the so-called physiological hypertonicity of the muscles of newborns, which determines this position of the handles. During the first year of life, muscle tone gradually decreases and the child begins to hold hands more relaxed during sleep.

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Helpful Hints

So many parents are simply at a loss when it comes to what time to put their child to bed. If you put him to bed too early, then the child may not sleep well, get overexcited, or even start to freak out. And if it's too late, he won't get enough sleep and will be irritable.

How to be in order to spend enough time with the child in the evening after work, but at the same time provide the little person with a healthy sleep? This question haunts many.

What do experts say on this topic?

Baby sleep time

Experts have created a special tablet for parents, which is based on the time the child wakes up and his age.

For example, if your child is 5 years old, and he should wake up at 6.15, then you need to send him to bed at about 19.00. But a ten-year-old child who wakes up at 6.15 can easily stay awake until 20.15.

Why is it so important?

Surely everyone knows that a healthy child needs to get enough sleep. And recent research shows that good sleep and eating habits reduce the risk of childhood obesity.

Toddlers from 4 to 12 months old should sleep 12-16 hours a day, including daytime sleep;

Children 1-2 years old sleep 11-14 hours, including daytime sleep;

Children 3-5 years old need 10-13 hours of sleep, including daytime sleep;

Children 6-12 years old should sleep 9-12 hours at night;

Teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep.

Of course, not every child fits into these standards, however, most parents should adhere to these recommendations.

child and sleep

How to put the baby to bed early?

First, experts advise stopping the use of gadgets shortly before bedtime. The thing is that blue light comes from the screens, which slows down the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone. This, in turn, can completely disrupt the daily routine and rhythm of the child's body.

The use of a tablet, smartphone, TV and computer must be stopped two hours before bedtime.

Secondly, experts advise developing your own ritual that you will follow before going to bed. For example, it could be taking a bubble bath or reading a bedtime story. The main thing in this business is to develop a clear habit.

The sooner you start, the faster it will be.

Let's talk about a few more ways to regulate children's sleep.

Alarm

It's not at all what you might think. No need to put it under the baby's ear at all. Mom needs it if she decides that the baby's sleep needs to be extended. The child usually wakes up at the same time. He has already formed his habits, even if they can hardly be called good.

But you can try to fix the situation. Wake your baby exactly half an hour before he should wake up on his own. In this way you will break the order established by him. Gradually increase the time between awakenings until you reach the desired result.

This method is not fast. It can be hard for both. Failures can occur, but mom should be persistent and patient.

Baby sleep pattern

White noise

Small children fall asleep very well to various monotonous sounds, such as the sound of a vacuum cleaner, radio or hair dryer, as well as to a silent lullaby or the sound of water.

Mom needs to find the right sound or music and turn it on every time after putting the baby to bed. The sound should be at a minimum so as not to interrupt sleep and not wake up the baby.

Let's finish our article with 10 rules of healthy sleep from a well-known post-Soviet pediatrician Yevgeny Komarovsky.

Rule 1 - Prioritization

More food, more drink and more fresh air a child needs healthy, rested and loving parents. The family is happy, full and efficient only on the condition that the parents have the opportunity to sleep 8 hours.

Rule 2 - Sleep

The child must be subject to your regimen. Determine a convenient time for you to start a night's sleep. From 21.00 to 06.00? Excellent. From 23.00 to 8.00? Please! Once you have chosen, stick to it consistently.

Rule 3 - Place to sleep

In theory, there are three options:

The child sleeps in a crib in the parent's bedroom, the best option for the first year of a baby's life, acceptable up to the age of three;

The child sleeps in his own crib in his own room - ideal for children older than a year;

Co-sleeping with parents, which is not supported by most pediatricians and is not related to healthy sleep.

Sleep Rules

Rule 4 - Wake up the sleepyhead

If you want your child to sleep well at night, then do not let him "oversleep" during the day. If, for example, a 6-month-old baby needs an average of 14.5 hours of sleep, and if parents want to sleep peacefully for 8 hours at night, then the baby should sleep no more than 6.5 hours during the day. If he sleeps longer during the day, then at night you will not be able to sleep.

Rule 5 - Systematize feedings

A child older than 6 months does not need night feedings. He may demand communication, sucking, he may want to be handled, rocked, hissed and demand it more and more actively as his desires are satisfied.

Set the rules once and for all. In the penultimate feeding, do not feed a little, and before a night's sleep, feed as satisfyingly as possible. But do not forget that hunger is not the only reason for children's crying. No need to plug his mouth with food at any squeak. Overfeeding is the main cause of abdominal pain, resulting in sleep disturbances.

Rules for children's sleep, Komarovsky

Rule 6 - Have a good day

Outdoor games, knowledge, daytime sleep in the fresh air, walks. Your life must be active. Moderate exercise is great for healthy sleep. Reduced evening emotional stress has a beneficial effect on sleep.

Reading good fairy tales, mother's lullaby, quiet games, watching a familiar cartoon - what else could be better.

Rule 7 - Air in the bedroom

The most important rule is cool, clean and humid air in the bedroom. Regular wet cleaning, ventilation, heating regulators, air humidifier.

The optimum air temperature is 18 - 20 degrees in the room where the child sleeps and plays; if the baby is only sleeping in the room, then the optimum temperature is 16-18 degrees.

The optimum air humidity is 50-70%.

Rule 8 - Take advantage of bathing opportunities

Bathing every night in cool water, in a large bath is a great way to get hungry, physically tired, and then eat well and fall asleep all night.

Before swimming - hygiene procedures, gymnastics and massage, as well as warm clothes after it.

Rule 9 - Make your bed

The mattress should be even and dense so that it does not sag under the weight of the child's body. Do not use pillows until the age of two. Bed linen should be strictly natural, washed with baby powder and thoroughly rinsed.

Rule 10 - A quality diaper

Disposable diapers are an incredible invention of mankind. They can greatly improve the sleep of all family members. A quality diaper for the night is an unbreakable rule that is the easiest to implement.

After the bustle of the day, the hands of the clock are slowly moving towards 21.00. Our baby, having played enough, begins to yawn, rub his eyes with his hands, his activity weakens, he becomes lethargic: everything suggests that he wants to sleep. But what if our child does not want to sleep, showing great activity even in the deep evening? There are children who are afraid to go to bed because they have terrible dreams. What should parents do then? And how many hours should our child sleep at different age intervals? Let's try to answer these and other questions.

What is a dream? Maybe this is an attempt to look into the future, or maybe a mysterious message from above or frightening fears? Or maybe it’s all fantasies and hopes hidden in our subconscious? Or is it better to simply say that sleep is a physiological human need for rest? The riddle of sleep has always worried people. It seemed very strange that a vigorous and full of strength man would close his eyes at nightfall, lie down and seem to “die” before sunrise. During this time, he did not see anything, did not feel danger and was not able to defend himself. Therefore, in ancient times it was believed that sleep is a semblance of death: every evening a person dies and every morning is born again. No wonder death itself is called eternal sleep.

Not so long ago, scientists believed that sleep is a complete rest of the body, allowing it to restore the forces expended during wakefulness. So, in the "Explanatory Dictionary" by V. Dahl, sleep is defined as "rest of the body in oblivion of the senses." Modern discoveries of scientists have proven the opposite. It turns out that during the night the body of the sleeping person does not rest at all, but “throws out” unnecessary garbage of random impressions from the memory, clears itself of toxins, and accumulates energy for the next day. During sleep, the muscles either tense or relax, the pulse changes its frequency, temperature and pressure “jump”. It is during sleep that the organs of the body work tirelessly, otherwise during the day everything will fall out of hand and get confused in the head. That is why it is not a pity to spend a third of your life on sleep.

Sleep is essential for body tissue repair and cell regeneration in both adults and children. A newborn baby, having just woken up from a nine-month hibernation in a warm, slightly cramped mother's womb, begins to learn to sleep and stay awake. However, some babies confuse day with night. Loving mommy and daddy can help the baby develop the right physiological daily and nightly routine. During the day, a newborn baby can sleep in the light. Parents should not emphasize the elimination of all noises and sounds. After all, the day is filled with different sounds and energy. At night, on the contrary - the baby should be put to sleep in the dark, leaving a night light on if necessary. The place to sleep at night should be in a quiet, peaceful place. It is advisable for all relatives to talk in a whisper at this time. So, gradually, the newborn learns to distinguish day from night at the level of sensations and thereby redistribute the hours of sleep, concentrating them on the dark, night time of the day. Children need different amounts of sleep depending on their age (see Table 1).

Table 1. Average sleep duration at different ages

Now there is a lot of controversy among pediatricians about the duration of daytime sleep in young children. In the first year and a half of life, children need to get some sleep in the morning and after the main meal. It is desirable that in total the amount of such sleep was 4 hours a day for the first six months, and then gradually decreased. Many pediatricians advise maintaining the one-hour nap habit for as long as the baby feels the need.

Thus, babies can sleep up to eighteen hours a day, children - from ten to twelve hours, teenagers need ten hours of sleep at night (and are content with an average of six). People of active age need seven to nine hours of rest (and sleep less than seven). The elderly need the same amount (and they sleep only five to seven hours due to the fact that their “biological clock” gives the command to wake up too early).

Numerous studies on sleep have proven that the most favorable time for putting your baby to bed is from 19.00 to 21.30 hours. It is advisable not to miss this moment, otherwise you may encounter great difficulties. Having played enough for the day, the baby is physically tired by the evening. If a child is used to going to bed on time and parents help him in this, then he will quickly fall asleep, and in the morning he will wake up full of strength and energy.

It happens that physiologically the baby’s body is tuned in to sleep, but there are no psychological conditions for this. For example, the baby does not want to part with toys; or someone came to visit; or parents have no time to put him down. In these cases, the child is deceived: if the baby is forced to stay awake, at a time when he needs to sleep, his body begins to produce excess adrenaline. Adrenaline is a hormone that is needed when faced with an emergency. The child's blood pressure rises, the heart beats faster, the baby feels full of energy, and drowsiness disappears. In this state, it is very difficult for a child to fall asleep. It will take about one hour before he calms down and falls asleep again. This time is necessary for the reduction of adrenaline in the blood. By disturbing the baby's sleep pattern, parents run the risk of spoiling the regulatory mechanisms on which the general condition of the baby depends on the next day. That is why it is so necessary to offer quieter games in the evening, which gradually move to the crib, and the child falls asleep without any problems.

So, what does it take to make our baby want to sleep and fall asleep with pleasure?

Preparation for sleep

Time to sleep

Set the time for going to bed: from 19.00 to 21.30 hours, depending on the age of the child and family conditions. But this should not be a purely mechanical action. It is desirable to create conditions for the baby so that he himself learns to control when he goes to bed. For example, you can tell your child that evening is coming. The evening is an objective fact that is not subject to discussion. Parents can buy a special alarm clock, according to which the baby will count the time for quiet games and the time for falling asleep. For example, you can say: “Dude, you see it’s already eight o’clock on the clock: what is it time to do?”

Ritual for falling asleep

This is a transitional moment from the game to the evening procedures. The main task of this moment is to make going to bed a long-awaited and beloved ritual for parents and children. These moments are very uniting and strengthening the family. They are remembered for a lifetime. When a child falls asleep at a certain time and sleeps peacefully, parents have time to be alone with each other. The total time for the ritual is 30-40 minutes.

Putting toys to bed

Each family chooses the content of the ritual depending on the characteristics of the child and the general family culture or traditions. For example, parents may address their child with the following words: “Darling, it's already evening, it's time to get ready for bed. All the toys are waiting for you to wish them "good night". You can put someone to bed, tell someone "bye, see you tomorrow." This is the initial stage, it is very useful, because, putting toys to bed, the child himself begins to prepare for bed.

Evening swim

Water is very relaxing. With water, all daytime experiences go away. Let him spend some time (10-15 minutes) in a warm bath. For greater relaxation, add special oils to the water (if there are no contraindications). The child experiences great pleasure from pouring water from one container to another. It's good when some toys float in the bathroom. Washing and brushing your teeth is also included in this stage.

Favorite pajamas

After water procedures, which have already had a relaxing effect on the baby, we dress him in warm, soft pajamas. Such a seemingly simple thing as pajamas can have a very strong contribution to the overall mood for sleep. Pajamas should be made of comfortable, comfortable fabric. It is desirable that it be soft, pleasant, perhaps with some kind of children's drawings or embroidery. The main thing is that pajamas should give pleasure to the baby - then he will gladly put on it. Putting on pajamas, you can massage the baby's body with light, calm movements with some kind of cream or oil.

I would like to draw attention to the fact that light massage and putting on pajamas should take place on the bed in which the child will sleep.

Going to bed with music

When parents prepare the baby for bed (namely, put on pajamas), you can turn on soft music. Classical music is best suited for this moment, such as lullabies, which are included in the golden fund of classics. Music with the sounds of wildlife will also be appropriate.

Storytelling (tales)

Soft music sounds, the lights are dimmed, the child lies in bed, and the parents tell him some little story or fairy tale. You can invent stories yourself or tell stories from the life of your parents, grandparents themselves. But in no case should the story be instructive, for example: “When I was little, I ...” It is better to tell it in the third person. For example: “Once upon a time there was a girl who loved to put toys to bed herself. And once...” It is good when children learn about the past of grandparents from such small stories. They develop love for their loved ones, perhaps already old ones. Children love stories about animals.

It is important to tell the story in a calm, quiet voice.

I would like to note that the proposed ritual for falling asleep is indicative. Each family can think over its own ritual, depending on the characteristics of the child and the general traditions of the family. But whatever the ritual, the main thing is that it be performed regularly. By devoting approximately 30-40 minutes every day to the ritual of falling asleep, parents will soon notice that children are less and less resistant to this. On the contrary, the baby will look forward to this moment when all attention will be devoted to him.

To begin with, I will clarify that I will mean a small child, from birth to about three years of age.

If parents knew what their newborn is experiencing and feeling, they would not have been tormented by the solution of this problem, where to sleep the child. Or if mothers could completely trust their instincts in dealing with this issue, there would be no problem, the child would sleep next to the mother. But it is difficult for instinctive behavior to break through the layers of various information and prejudices, fears and conventions.

Many mothers think it's just wonderful that their babies will have a separate room, from birth, their own, wonderful beds. The expectant mother is happy to pick up matching curtains and pillows, blankets, bedspreads, rugs and toys, arranging a nice little cozy world for her child. She goes shopping, leafing through magazines, where everything is so wonderfully arranged and everything is so beautiful. She is looking for some special mattress filled with sea grass, and is terribly upset when she finds out that, for example, she cannot afford it. Well, and so on ...

And what does her baby think at this time? Maybe he doesn’t think anything, but what he feels can be assumed ... He is warm and cramped, perhaps he feels like some kind of ovoid shape (according to the shape of the inner surface of the uterus, which limits his world). He hears the sounds of his mother's body - heartbeat, breathing, intestinal motility, the noise of blood in the vessels. He feels the taste and smell of amniotic fluid (they fill the mouth and nose of the child). Through neurohumoral reactions, he feels changes in the mother's mood, he feels when she is happy or sad, when she is frightened or angry. He is familiar with all the emotional experiences of the mother and it can be assumed that he perceives them as his own. He sucks the fist and sometimes the loops of the umbilical cord, learns to suck.

In the middle of the 20th century, the English psychoanalyst Donald Woods Winnicott suggested that the child feels one with the mother and this feeling of unity persists for several months after the birth of the child. Further research in this direction confirms this assumption.

The world of the child, his universe is his mother. This statement remains true even after the birth of a child.

What happens to the feelings and desires of the baby after birth?
He finds himself in another world, where there are other sounds, light, other sensations of heat and cold, he is forced to perform actions that he was not capable of before (for example, he breathes, makes sounds). What has remained unchanged? Periodically, he falls almost into the previous state: he becomes cramped, warm, he hears familiar sounds, though a little differently, and when he sucks, he feels a familiar taste and smell, similar to the taste and smell of amniotic fluid. Only then does he feel comfortable and safe. These feelings surround him when he is in his mother's arms or lies next to her.

What does a newborn child feel when left to himself?
To quote Winnicott: “Left for a long time (we are talking not only about hours, but also about minutes) without the usual human environment, they experience an experience that can be expressed in these words:

falling to pieces

endless fall

dying... dying... dying...

loss of any hope of resuming contact"

(from the book by D.V. Winnicott “Little children and their mothers”, p. 64, Library of Psychology and Psychotherapy, issue 52., M., “Class”, 1998).

It is, of course, not only about co-sleeping. This quote will be of particular interest to those parents who believe that it is not necessary to “accustom the child to hands” and “crying develops the lungs” ...

Joint sleep with the mother is necessary for the child to form a balanced psyche, to create confidence in the world around him and, above all, in his own mother, for a stable sense of security. For a small child, predominantly superficial, shallow sleep is characteristic. A large share of shallow sleep is a necessary condition for the development of a healthy brain. The brain continues to grow and develop only in the phase of light sleep. During light sleep, the child controls where his mother is, whether she is nearby. If the mother is not around, he is terribly long in this phase alone, the baby falls asleep deeper or wakes up. Having a sufficient duration of superficial sleep, children sleeping with their mothers have a richer potential for further development. Civilization, separating mother and child, does not use the capabilities of the brain programmed for continuous development, limits them.

In the event that mother and child sleep separately, the baby may have a long deep sleep. Sometimes a two-month-old baby starts sleeping from 9 pm to 9 am, "like a log." In such a situation, a child's prolonged deep sleep is a protective reaction to stress. Sleeping separately from the mother is stressful for the newborn.

During joint sleep with the mother, the baby receives tactile stimulation necessary for the full development of the nervous system. The touch of the mother received during wakefulness is not enough for the child. A child can fully receive what he needs only during joint sleep.

Superficial sleep can also be called a baby's defense mechanism. If something happened in a dream, the baby froze, or choked, or got wet, or it became difficult for him to breathe, it is easier to get out of superficial sleep and call for help.

Tactile stimulation coming from the mother is also a reminder to the child that he is alive and needs to breathe. Tactile stimulation is necessary for the child for the trouble-free operation of the respiratory center. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is less common when the child sleeps with the parents. For newborns, breathing stops, apnea, and sleep are sometimes characteristic. In order for the child to start breathing, it must be touched (of course, if this happened a few seconds ago, and not three minutes). The value of tactile stimulation is generally recognized. Leading medical equipment companies produce incubators for premature babies with a movable "bottom" that imitates the respiratory movements of the human chest (so that the baby seems to be lying on his mother's chest) ...

Why does a mother need co-sleeping with her baby?

For long and successful breastfeeding. A woman is so arranged that the maximum concentrations of prolactin, a hormone that leads to the formation of milk, are formed in her body at night while sucking a baby. Stimulation of the nerve endings in the skin of the areola sends a signal to the brain, which, acting on the pituitary gland, leads to an increase in the production of prolactin. Most prolactin is formed during the night sucking of the child. If a woman never breastfeeds her baby at night, or breastfeeds her baby once (usually at 6 am), gradually milk production begins to decrease (due to insufficient stimulation of prolactin). It is not possible to feed a child under such conditions for a long time. In most cases, women notice that milk begins to be sorely lacking by 1.5-3 months after childbirth.

Mom, as well as the child, receives regular stimulation of the skin, a necessary condition for normal lactation. A baby who sleeps next to her mother clings to her for much longer than a baby who is constantly put off. A mother who constantly receives signals from the warm skin of her baby may not worry about the amount of milk - her hormonal system always has a powerful additional stimulus.

For a mother who has a baby for another 1-2 months, this is not so important, she already carries him in her arms so much. This is especially true for the mother of a growing child, 5-8 months old, who begins to move a lot during the day, and the mother wears him less in her arms, because. he is already crawling or trying to do it. Joint sleep allows you to make up for the lack of bodily contact and creates favorable conditions for full feeding, because the child can “forget” to eat during the day. In the future, it is night feedings that allow the mother, for example, to go to work, or go away for a long time, without worrying that her child will not finish eating.

How does a child sleeping with her mother behave at night?

The baby can fall asleep "for the night" in the interval from about 10 pm to 1 am. From 2 to 5 in the morning (depending on the time of falling asleep), the baby begins to mess around and apply. When the baby begins to "REM" sleep and he begins to show anxiety, the mother "opens one eye", puts it on and sleeps on. Mom sleeps, of course, not soundly and not deeply. You could say it's dormant. When the baby, having pumped, releases the breast and falls into a deep sleep, the mother also falls asleep. There are, however, situations when a mother, having put her child at 2 in the morning to one breast, opens her eyes, and finds that it is already 8 in the morning, and they are still lying and the baby is still with the same sisey “in the teeth”. It should be noted that night feedings look like this only if the mother knows how to feed lying down in a comfortable position and can relax during feeding. Actually "night" feedings are considered in the interval from 3 to 8 in the morning. At this time, a child of one month of age has 2-3 or more attachments. And there are small children who kiss, for example, in this rhythm: at 22, at 24, and then at 2, at 4, at 6, at 8 in the morning. There are children who had 6 morning feedings at the age of one month, and by 3-4 months there were 2-3 feedings. Often, by 4.5–6 months, the number of morning feedings increases again. This is due to the fact that a baby of this age begins to apply less frequently during the day, does not suck for a long time, is easily distracted, and “gets” what he needs due to active night sucking. Getting older, the child does not refuse night sucking at all. Children, for example, older than a year, can suck very actively in the morning from about 4.00-6.00 in the morning, sometimes almost continuously, until they wake up, at 8.00-10.00 in the morning. Moms just need to know that the desire to suck at night and sleep next to the mother is not bad habits, but psychological and physiological needs, and should not be fought against.

All children are programmed by nature to sleep with their mother and active night sucking. Artificially fed babies also have a need to suckle at night. Confirmation of this can be observed at parent conferences on the Internet (for example, on the site mama.ru and 7ya.ru). One mother begins to complain that her child always slept from 9 pm to 9 am, and at 6 months he suddenly began to wake up every hour, the other complains that she can’t wean a seemingly large child of 1.5-2 years old from a night bottle with milk or tea, but not from one ... Or more recently, one mother of a 9-month-old baby complained that she could not put him in a personal crib, he could only sleep next to her from birth, despite the fact that she was feeding him artificially ...

The need for joint sleep is present in all children, regardless of the type of feeding. For those children who were not allowed to realize it, it temporarily fades away, as if it were not there. Any psychologist will say that an unmet need develops into a complex that is waiting for its realization, like a time bomb. If a certain life situation develops, circumstances in which this complex can be realized, a person ceases to act reasonably, rationally. An adult with the stubbornness of a child behaves completely illogically, only because he is carrying out the program, he is led by an old complex. And it can happen at any age.

The most typical picture of such a realization, which many can observe in life, is situations in which a woman cannot part with a man who beats her, drinks, treats her badly, just because she is afraid to be alone in bed at night. Moreover, this fear is subconscious, consciously she does not even undertake to explain why she stays with him, and this can drag on for years. The fear of being alone at night makes people endure unsuccessful life partners, live with long-annoyed relatives, get extra pets, etc. I do not think that at least one mother, seeking to “not spoil” her baby, will wish him such a sad fate in the future.

If a mother taught her child to sleep alone, he, as a rule, endures this relatively painlessly up to 1.5 years. At 1.5 years old, the first conscious fear of the dark appears, and the lack of reliance on the mother necessarily makes itself felt. The child is afraid to fall asleep alone, he pulls his parents to him, calls them, cries, learns to manipulate them. By the age of 2, in many families, the problem of falling asleep, and with it, co-sleeping turns into a whole battle. It is easier only for those who are already sleeping with the child, so it is wiser to solve the problem before the child reaches this age.

Children who have always slept with their parents usually pass their first night terrors easily and painlessly, and are transferred to their own bed after 3 years. Conflicts arise only where the complex has already formed, because the parents did not immediately come to terms with the presence of the child in their bed or tried to put him to a separate bed too early, and he remembered this.

As statistics show, children who, at 5-6 years old, still sleep with their parents, most often had the experience of separate sleep, and more than half of them came to the parents' bed after 1.5 years! That is, when parents do not sleep with a child for five months, there is no guarantee that they will not have to do this after 1.5 years, but they have already provided an unrealized complex and adverse psychological consequences for their child!

There is an even more difficult option, when a child who has already acquired independence, to solve his problems, still comes to his parent's bed at 4-6 years old. Then, of his own free will, he does not leave there until 20!

What do you need to know and be able to organize a joint dream with a child?
1. the child must know that he can sleep with his mother and adapt to this,

2. Mom should be able to feed comfortably lying down

3. Mom should be able to sleep with the baby and rest at the same time.

All this does not happen immediately, spontaneously, by itself. In practice, the adaptation takes from 2 weeks to 1.5 months. In the event that you sleep with a child from birth (or start immediately after the hospital). If mom already had a baby with whom she slept together, she adapts faster. For a mother with many children, such behavior is natural and there is no need to adapt.

If you try to learn later, it takes at least a month to adapt, and then on condition that the mother is convinced of the correctness of her actions! A child who is not used to co-sleeping can toss and turn, kick, wake up his mother with his movements. There may be difficulties with thermoregulation, because, as they said in one famous film, “2 Indians under one blanket will never freeze.” So mother and child warm each other, so you have to change your clothing habits or cover yourself with a lighter blanket ... If we add to this a change in the rhythms of night sleep, it becomes clear that relearning is much more difficult than solving these issues gradually, as they arise. If mom tries to start at 5-6 months she may fail!

The possibility of safe co-sleeping in unprepared mothers is highly dependent on the shape and size of her breasts.

If mom's breasts are larger than 4 sizes, she is NOT allowed! try to sleep with your baby on your own. You should contact your nearest lactation consultant. If he is not nearby, then you need to find a mother who knows how to sleep with her child, who knows how to feed lying down in a comfortable position. It is desirable that this is a mother with a positive experience in feeding several children ...

If mom has problems with attachment, it is difficult for her to solve them in the supine position. You must first deal with problems in a comfortable position, then learn how to control the position of the child lying down during daytime sleep, and only then start doing the same at night.

What are the reasons mothers do not sleep with their babies?
Moms don't know that co-sleeping is necessary. After reading the above, mom will know that co-sleeping is essential for both her and her baby.

Doctors prohibition. Doctors who are competent in matters related to breastfeeding and the psychology of the newborn have nothing against co-sleeping with the baby.

Because of the negative attitude of relatives, especially the husband. Relatives do not know about the need for co-sleeping with a child, it is worth telling them about it. (I would like to add that most people do not really like to engage in marital relations in a room where there is someone else, even a small child, even in their own crib. With additional rooms, there is no problem at all, but it can be solved, even if there are no extra rooms ...)

Not able to feed lying down in a comfortable position. You need to learn, contact breastfeeding consultants, or an experienced mother who knows how to do this.

Due to the inconvenience associated with large breast size, uncomfortable breast shape, inverted nipple. These inconveniences can also be overcome with the help of lactation consultants or an experienced mother.

They are afraid to spoil the child. It is impossible to spoil a child by co-sleeping.

For hygienic reasons. Mom and baby breastfed have the same microflora.

They are afraid to “sleep” the child. A mother cannot sleep a child if she knows how to feed lying down in a comfortable position, if she is mentally healthy, if she has not blocked the "sentinel" zone of the cerebral cortex with alcohol, sleeping pills or drugs.

) and sleep with parents. Dr. Harvey Karp honestly debunks the main myths about how babies sleep after a year.

Myth 1. Sleeping separately is the norm for a child.

Fact. Who wants to sleep alone? In most countries, young children sleep with their siblings or with their parents for many years.

Parents are often surprised to learn that, according to statistics, the older the child, the more often he sleeps with his parents! At age three, 22% of children sleep in their parent's bed, and at four, 38% sleep with their parents at least once a week. Even 10-15% of preschool children continue to sleep in their parent's bed.

Myth 2. Babies over one year old sleep through the night without waking up.

Fact. In fact, videos have been made that show that children at this age wake up in light sleep several times a night. But most of us are unaware of this, because usually children themselves fall asleep again without a single peep.

Myth 3. Babies after one year need less sleep than babies.

Fact. Despite the fact that the duration of the daytime sleep of the child will be constantly reduced, and he will sleep only once during the day, before the age of five he still needs eleven to twelve hours of sleep at night. And over the period from four to twelve years, the duration of night sleep will decrease insignificantly - from eleven hours to ten.

Myth 4. Babies over one year old should be weaned from pacifier sucking, especially at night.

Fact. For toddlers, sucking is natural and very soothing. In most primitive societies, children breastfeed until they are three or four years old. Soothers can give your baby confidence and help him calm himself down in the middle of the night.

Moreover, many babies have a strong craving for sucking, which is genetically laid down. And it is definitely better for such children to suck on a pacifier than to develop the habit of slobbering their thumb, which is much more likely to lead to orthodontic problems later on.

Myth 5. Sleep has no effect on young children's ability to learn or their health.

Fact. Lack of sleep leads not only to many behavioral problems such as temper tantrums, aggression, impulsivity and disobedience, but also causes three factors that interfere with learning: inattention, poor learning and poor memory.

Studies show that there is a definite link between insufficient sleep in young children and health problems that appear at an older age. Surprisingly, a lack of just one hour of sleep a night in early childhood can affect school performance!

Canadian researchers, for example, report that children who sleep less than ten hours a night are twice as likely to become obese, hyperactive, and fail on cognitive tests as they age.

There seems to be an extremely important period in early childhood, and if during this period the child sleeps less than the norm, then this negatively affects his development, even if further sleep is getting better.

Myth 6. Children naturally fall asleep when they are tired.

Fact. Most of us (including small children) fall asleep when we are tired, but some babies, on the contrary, become even more active when they are tired! They start fooling around, fussing. In fact, their behavior is reminiscent of children who suffer from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

And this problem can get worse: the more tired they are, the more difficult it is for them to fall asleep and the more often they wake up in the middle of the night.

Myth 7. Turning on a night light can ruin a child's vision.

Fact. Nothing like this! For generations, parents have left dimmed lights (4 watts) in the nursery at night. Nightlights allow us to quickly assess the condition of the child without the need to turn on a flashlight or a bright light in the room. Plus, many kids feel more at ease when they wake up at 2:00 a.m. to see familiar surroundings... rather than a sea of darkness.

But a 1999 study at Children's Hospital in Philadelphia scared many parents into turning off their nightlights. The researchers said that 34% of children who slept by the light of a nightlight later became nearsighted.

Fortunately, the results of two other studies conducted the following year disproved this claim. The Ohio scientists found that only 18.8% of children who participated in their experiment and slept by the light of a nightlight in the first two years of life became nearsighted, compared with 20% of children who slept in complete darkness. Scientists from Boston also confirmed that there is absolutely no connection between nightlights and vision problems.

Myth 8. If you put a TV in the nursery, then it will be easier to put the child to sleep

Fact. Nearly a third of preschoolers have a TV in their room. (And in 20% of babies... wow!) In addition, in a fifth of families, watching television or videotapes is included in the usual routine of getting to bed. But using electronic assistants in the evenings is a bad idea.

Children who have a TV in the room:

they watch it more often (meaning they see more aggressive scenes and junk food ads);
going to bed twenty or thirty minutes late;
struggle with sleep (in their case, they are twice as likely to fall asleep after 22:00);
sleep less (in their case, they are twice as likely to have trouble waking up in the morning);
do less sports
suffer more from psychological stress (and may have more nightmares);
in their case, there is a greater risk of obesity;
may be seriously injured by pulling the TV towards you.

No, I'm not an inveterate opponent of the "zomboyaschik". He can actually replace you for a short time ... and sometimes we all need it. But use the TV extremely sparingly (choosing quiet programs like Sesame Street or nature shows) and turn it off before bed. Better yet, save your TV for special occasions – for example, on weekend mornings, it can be a real gift for your crumbs, and it will allow you to sleep for an extra half an hour.

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