What to do when you're nobody. Nobody needs me. Not a single living soul

There is a moment in life when a woman suddenly clearly understands that no one needs her. And this is not at all "filling one's own price" in front of a young man, not a way to beg for a new gift from parents and not "women's conversations" with a friend. This is a distinct feeling, which means that in the middle is emptiness and cold. And nothing is important at the same time: the presence of a family, children, an apartment, a car, work with a large number of colleagues ... There can be a lot of everything around, and the feeling of abandonment and uselessness comes to the fore.

Why is this happening?

Quantity does not always mean quality

Very often, just the reasons for such a feeling are qualitative changes in relations, while visible, quantitative ones may not change. Therefore, it is very difficult to understand such loneliness from the outside. Envious people begin to say that you are "mad with fat", but in fact, profound changes are taking place in the types listed below.

• Changes in the number of friends you are interested in. This type is more typical for young girls. So it turns out that at certain periods people begin to diverge in their views, hobbies, life values, level of aspiration. Yesterday you were one, worried about the grades together. And now: one decided to give birth to a dozen children at once, the second went abroad, and the third is constantly lost or began to tell things that are completely uninteresting to you. You are left with a feeling of emptiness and worthlessness. Head up! Life is just beginning. At least, such a nuisance clearly demonstrates those people who are ready to stay with you forever, to share all the sorrows and joys. Perhaps this situation was given to you specifically in order to finally appreciate those people who were and will be next to you - your parents, or perhaps that one friend whom you did not notice before.
• If you have stagnation or trouble in the workplace. Often we are fully self-fulfilling in the work area. This is excellent and correct. But, do not change the concept. Work is a huge field for activity, but that's not all. Remember how in the movie "Office Romance"? You can't have one thing replace everything. The broader the interests in life, the more diverse the hobbies, the more likely it is that at least one area will now be an outlet.
• If you have changed relationships with significant people. Still, most often the feeling of uselessness begins to haunt at the moment when an understanding of a change in attitude begins to come on the part of a significant person, and most often - a husband or beloved man. Although such a trigger may be relationships with children. And here the main problem is self-esteem and awareness of one's role and place. Often a woman is ready to sacrifice herself to relationships and people. She devotes her life to arranging the life of a man or devotes herself completely to children, forgetting that they are separate individuals, and not its continuation. Naturally, she wants gratitude and "constant presence" in return. Yes, she gives so much of her energy that she is unable to let go of a piece of her labors. But, a man begins not to appreciate such an amount of attention, and children grow up and want to build their own lives. So the woman begins to feel deceived and useless. And this is the most frequent and most painful experience.

What to do with it?

Ask yourself the question: “Were you happy doing everything, everything for someone?”. If yes, then this is the main gratitude for you. In fact, you did good not to someone, you did happiness to yourself and this is what you enjoyed. So now you just need to find someone else you can do something useful: do charity work, get an animal ...

And if you were deeply unhappy from what you did and did it through force, do you really want your loved ones to experience such torment in return? Is it really as a reward for the fact that you suffered earlier, you want to see how a loved one will suffer now? This is, in your understanding, true love - mutual suffering and curtailment of your happiness? If yes, then you are doomed to a feeling of uselessness. Because no one wants to endure this, except for masochists, and therefore - they will try to move away from you. If you really begin to understand that you would not want to cause suffering to others, you just don’t understand how to build your life differently, you should seek the advice of a psychologist.

Where does this pattern of behavior come from?

In fact, the feeling of uselessness and, as compensation for it - sacrifice, begins to form in very early childhood.

Unfortunately, now parents are forced to work hard and do not always pay the necessary attention to the child. The baby may feel unnecessary even then, not being able to just talk or hug with someone close to her. And this can greatly influence both the self-esteem of the future woman and develop certain protective mechanisms. One of which is the mentioned version of sacrifice in a relationship, when a girl, and then an adult representative of the fair sex, climbs out of her skin, as if wanting to assert herself: “Look, look how good I am, I should be loved.”

Such persistent disappointments are hidden by our subconscious mind too well. After all, such sensations are traumatic, and therefore subject to destruction. But, cognitive rethinking and destruction does not eliminate emotional traces at all. That is why such things should be worked out with a psychologist. After all, it is he who will be able to lead not just to the rational: "I'm not angry with my parents." He will be able to bring back the little girl who will “talk” and understand her parents. And most importantly, she realizes that the point is not at all that they did not need her, but that objective reasons prevented relatives from devoting more time to her.

What should be done?

The main axiom says that a self-sufficient woman with good self-esteem cannot be useless to anyone, because she is needed, first of all, by herself.

Why do you need to solve your emotional experiences at the expense of some evaluation of the value by others? Is it really so impossible for you to be yourself, and not an attachment to someone? Even if this application has such beautiful names as mom or wife. Be yourself first and foremost. Understand where is your personal boundary, what is your integrity? For many women, this is very difficult. Answering a simple question: “what would you like for yourself?” They start with the words: “I would like my husband (son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter) to have ...” If the situation is very familiar, then this is your option. You should definitely go to a psychologist. It is important to rethink your value and personal boundary in order to avoid even greater disappointments in the future.

If you don’t feel like “dragging up the past” now and you are not ready to rethink your boundaries, there is another piece of advice - just become needed again. There are many people in the world who need help. Moreover, an open, joyful and active person cannot but attract more and more new acquaintances. Whereas a gloomy, problematic and "prickly" person is unlikely to cause a desire to communicate. Be an eternal ray of light. Successful people never show that it is difficult and bad for them. Because a problem leads to another problem. On the contrary, the example of the richest and most popular personalities today calls not to be afraid of danger, never lose your dignity and never complain.

New hobbies and hobbies also help. And, of course, trips, especially active ones associated with physical activity. The fact is that the feeling of uselessness causes additional mismatches in the human body. Imagine that a person repeats aloud that no one needs him. Therefore, no one needs these arms, legs, head, internal organs. Can an organism “not be offended” by such a thing? Of course not. So it turns out that chronic pain, troubles with the gastrointestinal tract and many other problems that we do not even associate with a psychological basis can be companions of experiences. Movement and pleasant experiences help fight these symptoms. The body moves, positive emotions cause the body to produce appropriate hormones. And a living organism does what no other machine is capable of – it self-repairs.

In conclusion, I would like to give an example when a small child approaches a girl crying on a bench and asks: “Aunt, why are you crying so bitterly?” And she replies: “because no one needs me!”. To which the kid is very surprised and says: “What did you ask everyone in this world, even me?”

Uselessness is a personal perception of your situation and a personal assessment of your experiences, therefore, it is extremely subjective. Be yourself, appreciate and take care of yourself. This is not selfishness, this is the best way out of their similar situations.

Nobody needs me, I realized with horror, having lived in the world for more than 60 years. Very clearly realized sitting on the couch, staring blankly at one point.

There is a family, children. All my life I worked, lived for them and for myself, of course.

Nobody needs me, the facts of life:

But she was needed only as a draft horse, bring, feed, give. This is the eternal give, give. You won’t give, you won’t please, you’ll get stress, worry,.

So all my life, some worries and stresses. Perhaps all women have this situation, but I have a panic.

How to live happily in such years, struggling with eternal sores, getting out of bed in the morning with the thought "We must live." How can a happy, necessary person feel that way.

Many will say, "Yes, this aunt, it's time to put on white slippers, and then she burst into tears." Maybe so, but lonely, sad from the terrible realization of the life lived, it turns out to be useless to anyone.

There were a lot of interests:

• I wanted to know a lot.
• Read.
• Tell.
• Look.

But the eternal, especially in the evening, beat off all the desires for life. There is only one thing left - to rest and nothing else.

You push yourself the day before half to death, you forget that you are the weaker sex, you need to look good, go to bed with your husband.

Believe it or not, I was happy when he didn't approach me. This is how many families live in rural areas.

Life here is unbearable, women definitely have nothing to do in such hard labor. In the countryside, you quickly forget what kind you are and whether you are a woman at all.

You will approach the mirror, look: “Where are you that cheerful, carefree? Where did it all go? Is this why they get married, raise children?

Nobody needs me, what to do:

Nobody needs me - with this awareness you need to live out your life. How? Where to find strength? There is no one to ask, no one to consult, and who will help in such a situation.

They will say general words, reassure, but this awareness will not go anywhere. How to come to terms with this? Urban women have a chance to turn to specialists, in our villages we don’t even have a paramedic, what kind of help is there.

I sit and calm myself, the children are good, without bad habits, healthy, it would seem, what do I need?

I want to be truly loved, just like that, for nothing. Is there nothing to love me for? What's wrong with me? Who will answer?

Nobody needs me, nobody loves me:

With such a confession, a resident of our village came to me, crying and asking for advice. Genuine bewilderment and grief splashed in her eyes.

The woman is very serious, I always thought she was happy. It's how it turned out.

What do you think I said to her? Nothing. I myself had such thoughts many times in my head. I think life fatigue is a state.

Maybe that's how the years go by. There is no one to ask for advice. Naturally, she reassured her as best she could, she left to feel herself useless.

A lot of unhappy, lonely in the soul of women rush about in search of answers to their questions. Why can't we ask specialists where they are?

We are alive, while everything is in order with the family, few people pay attention to themselves. Something just broke this villager, age makes itself felt and awareness is at the last line.

In conclusion, I want to give good advice, if your neighbor is bad - help, do not pass by. It will be bad for you, they will help, all your good deeds will return.

Let no one think “I don’t need anyone” on earth.

Peace of mind to you!

Look, listen to the incomparable song "Not Needed":

“The day ceases to seem bright when I am left with myself. Nobody needs me! For the sake of what is it worth living at all? ”, - many women face such an idea. When you feel like a burden, and others notice you less and less, you feel empty inside. There is no one to talk heart to heart with, everything seems insignificant and you just want to fall through the ground. How to stop suffering and learn to appreciate yourself? You are not alone and you will be able to start all over again! Read to the end and you will learn a number of valuable tips

Where does the feeling of "no one cares" come from?

When I had a good relationship with a young man and then they broke off, my colleagues ignore me, and also this friend who has not picked up my calls lately - why is the whole world avoiding me? A similar feeling accompanies many girls at various stages of life. Someone cannot establish relationships with others at the age of a student, and someone experiences communication difficulties at an honorable age.

« Who needs me and what am I doing wrong in trying not to feel lonely?”, is a great question that helps to tune in to a new wave of change. When a girl feels like a burden to others, she automatically cuts herself off from prospects. It is difficult to talk about happy relationships, friendship with interesting people, success in a team, if you constantly think about your insignificant position.

« I lost myself and now I can’t gather the strength to start everything from scratch”, is a great signal to start acting. The feeling of alienation arises from the conflict of the individual with his environment. When the daughter did not feel the love of her parents, the girl did not know the sincere love of her partner, did not feel much support from her friends - this is how inner pain arises.

If you keep asking yourself: Don't I deserve to be happy? What can I do the best I can to get out of this horror?”, then you can set yourself up for a new rhythm of life. When an inner voice, under the pressure of experienced ups and downs, joys and disappointments, says to immediately change everything, then you can’t hesitate! Combat readiness is exactly what makes a person angry with himself and circumstances on the good side. It is worth being motivated, and not gradually burying yourself in the sand with your head and making yourself a victim!

The story of one girl says: “Of all the friends of the school, the university, she had only one friend left. Recently, relations with her have declined - she could not answer calls, ignore when seen on the street and show false friendliness. Our heroine fell into a deep depression, because she just needed someone to speak out, to feel banal support.

The feeling of her own insignificance haunted her. There is no one to call on the phone, cry, and there is simply no strength to quit the bad habit of becoming limp for any reason. Our heroine said to herself: “I know that I deserved it, but now it’s time to “tie up” with everything and start a new life. Who needs me, if not myself? I've had enough!"

From a short story, you can see how much a person wanted to change circumstances for the better. The abandoned person syndrome occurs regardless of age, wealth, or status in society. Everyone sooner or later feels the emptiness that needs to be filled with self-development. The sooner we realize that time is the most valuable resource that should not be wasted on drama, then the picture of the world will become clearer.

How to deal with this feeling

The phrase “I don’t need anyone” from the lips of a woman does not mean claims to a guy, envious girlfriends, but her sincere feelings. If inside you realize that life is a single divorce, quarrels, conflicts, complexes, then it is important to analyze the situation more closely. What is the root of evil? Often in adulthood, a woman feels a lack of attention that she was not given as a child.

It turns out that the same child with a sense of inferiority is hiding in the guise of an adult. Under the influence of life's turmoil, pain is exacerbated again, as many years ago. To finally get out of the critical point, you need to ask the question: “Who needs me and why do I need this as a person?”.

When you are alone on a desert island and you see a ship, even if it is a pirate one, you will give signals anyway. But our life is not a bay where you need to let just anyone in. The desire to be loved, heard, understood should not be blind persistence to capture someone's attention.

If a lady wants to find a worthy husband, she should work on herself both externally and morally. She should not be flattered by the fake compliments of unscrupulous men for whom she is a one-night stand. The realities of life show how important it is to respect and appreciate yourself, but also to be open to others at the same time. Such a balance will not allow you to be deceived, but will also help to attract the attention of others.

How to stop thinking a woman that no one needs her

• Appreciate the moments of solitude. Perhaps right now the Higher powers did everything to make her think about the prospects for development and her own goals. When you always live temporary hobbies with other people, you can easily forget about personal growth.
• To be needed by someone. You can’t always be closed off and shut yourself off from the initiative to help others. The society appreciates reliable and purposeful people who are ready to support. If a girl is ready to prove herself in some area and goes to a meeting, people will begin to notice and appreciate her.
• Stop being a gray mouse. Constant "boo-boo-boo, I'm not like that, they are all like that" - you can go crazy from such thoughts. No need to make a gloomy face, constantly turn the day into the end of the world, do not rejoice in the most ordinary moments of life. Cheerful and cheerful people rarely remain alone - others are drawn to them.
• Appreciate yourself. , no one needs and everyone passes by? You need to develop respect for your individuality and strive to emphasize it from an interesting side. Why not change the style of clothing, hairstyle, makeup, learn to gracefully walk and develop posture, go in for sports? You want to approach self-sufficient people, talk, learn something new and just be around.
• Do charity work and travel. These two things are inextricably linked. When we get to know the world, we immediately reveal our inner potential. The unknown expands consciousness, which helps to understand the meaning of true values. To help children, the elderly and disabled people, animals, the surrounding nature - the inner emptiness will immediately be filled with love and awe for the outside world.

“I don’t need anyone? I was wrong and now I can live to the fullest without a drop of prejudice, ”we hope we were able to give you a similar feeling. Do not lose heart for a minute and appreciate every moment when you can shine with inner energy. P.S. Practice thinking positively and not being provoked once again. You are strong and you will feel confident every day! Liked the article? Share it with those who need support right now.

You go to work, you walk down the street, you come home and… you understand, “It turns out that nobody needs me. You can’t wait for a friend’s call, the family has fallen apart, work is declining.” How to get out of the impasse when everything seems to be going against you? When life crashes, and you stop believing in the best, it's time to know yourself. How to find strength to live on? It's time to listen to yourself and start a cardinal reboot of consciousness! Read to the end, and you will no longer experience the feeling of loneliness.

Where does the feeling of "I don't need anyone" come from?

It happens that you go to work peacefully, give energy to others, and in response ... nothing. It is the feeling of emptiness that eats from the inside and does not allow you to breathe freely. What can I say, even good weather does not give joy, as a few years ago, when you could go on a picnic with friends. Any attempt to return everything back leads to failure.

“I lost myself and can’t find the strength to continue my usual business again!”, - such a thought leads a person to pessimism and isolation in himself. Sitting one on one with your feelings near ruined relationships, misunderstandings of others - this makes you lose faith in the best. Reproaches from relatives, unsuccessful attempts to meet a girl, and also these eternal job denials - how can you not stop thinking that the world is against you?

Who needs me when everyone around is obsessed with their image, you can’t even count on ordinary communication? Don't blame others for ignoring your ego. People do not always deliberately act against a person in order to bring her moral damage. Everyone finds his place, where his participation is required at a particular moment in time. If a person is fixated on third-party attention and this closes him in himself.

negative thoughts, which constantly flash in the head, are reflected in the behavior of a man. From this constant stress that affects the mood, physical condition. From here and excessive drowsiness, irritability, isolation in society, sexual problems and other unpleasant symptoms. Free time, which is freed from the influence of other people, can be spent on self-development.

A guy may not suspect that time without a girl, noisy companies can be used wisely. Loneliness is not a sentence, but a given chance to become stronger, more successful. No need to think “no one needs me, they abandoned me and now I am like an empty place”! No need to worry too much about this - maybe now is the time to change your outlook on your surroundings and start taking responsibility for your actions.

How to deal with this feeling

There is a stereotype that "we need only ourselves and our parents who really love us." People are so afraid to be alone with their thoughts, character, so they begin to feel inner discomfort. To tell the news, pour out feelings, stay close - it is important for us to feel needed. Longing for the past - that's what slows down the path of new development.

The constant search for causes, the imposition of blame create the ground for a global problem. In fact, it simply does not exist! After a breakup, guys feel at the peak of freedom for some time, but after a short time they plunge into negative thoughts. Complexity, addictions, lack of incentives to develop - all this closes the door to a better future in the bud. The brain is arranged in such a way as to constantly reproduce the experienced passage of time and impose a specific meaning on it.

I lost myself or how to avoid the symptoms of disappointment:

• Do not self-flagellate- it occurs when a man is engaged in idleness. The feeling of boredom can be destroyed by important things that are needed to achieve goals. In general, goals are a useful thing. They keep the body and mind in good shape, not allowing any prejudice to penetrate into the most intimate.
• positive thinking- without it, you will not reap the harvest, nor will you succeed in any business. It is important to strive to see the world from the angle "I believe in good, I will do everything to get out of this state."
• Become more open. Often the problem of loneliness is the unwillingness of a man to make contacts with others. Girls rarely come up and get to know each other, and colleagues can be on their own wave and will not devote time to you. Communication skills and self-confidence are the main skills that others appreciate. The result may surprise you - people will immediately begin to reach out to such a person.
• Work on the external image. Clothing style, physical data, gestures, neatness - this is the "face" of a person that presents him in society. Who needs me if I don’t take care of myself, I’m always sloppy and stooping? A representative of the stronger sex will be the soul of any company if he starts to follow the speech, looks neat, wears things in good condition, and maintains hygiene. Maybe this is where the problem of loneliness and denial of you in society is hidden.
• Be true to yourself. If a man avoids responsibility and does not take on any business, does not want to see his shortcomings, fight addictions, a feeling of discomfort will constantly accompany him. People around love reliable personalities who are responsible for their words.
• Accept your mistakes. Egocentrism, pride do not allow to be flexible in society, because of which difficulties often arise. Agreeing that “I was wrong, I should have done it differently” is the best way to understand each other. Easy relationships, where everyone takes part in solving certain problems, will help maintain long-term contacts with a person.

How to get rid of the thought "I lost myself"? Do not assume that the world does not give a damn about you and start moving towards opportunities. Friends haven't called for a long time? Why not invite them to the cinema and get together in a cafe! With a girl, long-standing conflicts through the fault of a man? It is worth understanding where he is wrong and apologize, showing understanding and feelings for the partner.

The more empathy, purposefulness in a person, the easier it is to achieve mutual understanding with others. If at the entrance the guard does not notice you - this is not a sign to panic! Haven't those to whom you made a card and brought a cake a happy birthday? The joys of life should not stop there, and with them the relationship with these people. It is important to maintain your dignity and perceive reality more sensibly.

Guys, you are great for reading the article to the end! We hope that the information helped at least a little to get rid of the thought “nobody needs me”. A real man is one who does not question his character and remains steadfast no matter what. You will definitely achieve success in your favorite business, relationships, family and friends if you act with awareness. The surrounding reality is not so bad - there is a place for calmness in it.

Sometimes people have such an inexplicable feeling that "no one needs me." The feeling is so strong and causes such an internal “distortion” that no matter who you come into contact with, you see that people just don’t give a damn about you, that you don’t need a single living soul, not even “friends” and wife, and if you need so they need something from you, You no one needs him. Everything good, pleasant and simply normal that happens when communicating between people is simply not perceived and not felt. Over time, these constant "betrayals" only accumulate, and eventually hatred arises. How else to react to you?

This is a colossal veil, absolute. And the reason for everything is a big scar in the soul - resentment. Childish insult. Resentment, on the dearest and most important person - Mom. Very often this is an insult by birth precisely "on mother." Over time, a person grows up, and resentment ceases to be personified. Those. the person is simply in a state of resentment. The most severe condition, inadequate.

This is exclusively a problem for people with an anal vector. Firstly, only they can be offended, and secondly, insults of this kind are simply a stoppage of life for them. Nothing, I'll wait until next time. And it doesn't matter that there won't be a next time.

To begin with, understand what the anal vector is, and how resentment arises in it. Then you need to work hard to understand how people with other vectors, for example, with the skin one, react on us, anal people. Take a little break from yourself. (Read why mom is the most important person for an anal baby)

Here is a cry from the heart of one blog:
The depression dragged on. For six months now, the loneliness that I love so much has been slowly destroying me. Every day I contact with a dozen people, but none of them need me. I am constantly looking for new acquaintances, but new acquaintances do not need me either. Looking for old acquaintances, but they don't even remember me.

Sunday again. You wake up in the morning and realize that no one needs you. To feel the presence of someone, you take a book and go to the park. But walking young mothers only increase the feeling of your uselessness. After all, you remember that the girl you loved so much calculated that the n-th amount was needed to support the family. Otherwise, the family does not need you. After the park you go to the cinema. But even if you are not going alone, you will still have to think about the film and discuss its meaning and subtext alone. It's boring for people around you to hear what you think. They do not need your thoughts caused by viewing the picture. They don't need you.

Another work week. It would seem that at work they love and appreciate you, but they only need your skills. They don't need you. You want to learn new things, generate ideas, but no one needs this. You are considered a cog in the mechanism, and all your ideas are ridiculous and useless. And no one will help in difficult times. Ready to just step up. Because no one wants you there.

You go to the gym, but it's like you're doing it alone. No one called and asked why you were gone for a whole week. Nobody will ask. They don't need you either.

Holidays, gifts... It takes a painfully long time to think about what to give to whom. You put yourself in their place. You remember every conversation, every hint. And from a dozen you choose what is really worthy of the name of the gift. You travel for several days to find him. Be proud that your gift will be remembered. And in return, they give you some filth that will gather dust and cause only pain. Or even donate money. Or even forgotten. Because no one thinks about you. Nobody needs you.

Nobody cares when you're sad. You turn out to be needed only by smiling, scattering in compliments and helping everyone. But as soon as you open up and talk about what worries you, you become unnecessary. The pain comes when you are advised to work on yourself, earn money, buy a cat. This only reinforces the belief that no one needs me.

No friends at all. Always ready to go at any time of the day to any part of the city to help or support a person, but no one will come to my request. How much you need to help a person, give advice, solve problems for him, so that he becomes a friend. I am always ready to help with joy and sacrificing myself. But no one will sacrifice himself for me. Nobody needs me.

Again, no girl. Long time no. Occasionally you find someone, but despite all the good that you bring her, no matter how many gifts you give and no matter how much you entertain her, she will not come if you are sick. A couple of dry tips on the phone and that's it. You'll have to make your own raspberry tea. Because she doesn't need me.

When a man cries, it's a terrible sight. I vaguely remember this process from my childhood. But when several times, half an hour before the start, the girl cancels the cultural program, the plans of which you have been hatching for a whole week. When you are constantly advised where to go for a picnic or in which cafe to sit, but they never invite you. When you agree to buy skates by the first warm days, jump off with a parachute, go to the seaside for the weekend, etc., and then they refuse everything ... It's impossible to keep it in yourself. Especially if it happens several times a week. Especially if at that moment you are freezing from a high temperature. Especially when you realize that no one cares about all this.

The mother should be able to help. But she also constantly reproaches me for everything, adding to the end the interrogative-affirmative phrase "who needs you."

I went through all the contacts in the mail, all my colleagues, all my acquaintances. No one can send a message like I wrote. No one will read it and no one will help.
The phone is silent. Silent almost constantly. Occasionally he calls and says that someone needs something from me. And nobody needs me...

just that no one needs me, and if you need it, it’s only because even when I have a wife, children, friends, and even such an important thing as a company of friends with beer.
They don't need me anyway.

What is adequate and what is not, it is not for us to judge ... Someone else's soul is darkness.
This is not true! Shine a flashlight here. Then put resentment on the couch and put a clock on her so that she can see how life ticks away in front of her year after year.