The initiative must come from the man. Is it worth it to be the first to take the initiative in a relationship with a man. Male look: it’s easier for girls to get to know each other

One cannot but agree that most women dream of a man who actively takes the initiative in a relationship. Is it necessary to expect it from a man?

Women constantly expect active actions in love relationships from men, relying on their determination, while taking a passive position. This is the biggest misconception of the beautiful half of humanity.

For completely inexplicable reasons, the image of a strong man, resolute in his actions and able to overcome all the difficulties that arose on the path of life, was entrenched in our subconscious in order to get the heart of a woman.

A woman always hopes that a man will immediately take the initiative into his own hands, shower her with compliments, expensive gifts and do everything to open the door to her heart. Most of us are waiting for just such behavior on the part of men, while taking a passive position, believing that only the male half should show their feelings and love. That's right, you need to protect your feelings. But how to push a man to take decisive action?

How much to expect from a man initiative?

Nature ordered in such a way that men are quite persistent and decisive in their actions. They see no barriers to achieving their goals.

From this we can draw a conclusion, the main task of a woman is to make a man want to make an effort in a relationship and begin to take the initiative.

Women are often mistaken, thinking that a man should desire her at the mere glance, because she is so irresistible and unique. Sometimes a hundred glances are not enough to understand and love a person. After all, beauty does not matter if it is only outside, and inside is emptiness. If it's only about beauty, then this is not love, but a passion that will quickly pass.

What really attracts a man in a woman? Why are men ready to give their lives for some women, while taking a passive position with others?

Every person is selfish by nature. And whatever our actions, we always want to get a benefit for ourselves, for this we are ready to make sacrifices and pay accordingly. In a relationship, everything is similar, people strive to get something in return.

A woman wants to feel loved and desired, and a man wants to be sure that he is the only and the best. These are natural desires with which nature has endowed both halves of humanity.

If you give a man a chance to feel like God next to you, then at the slightest imbalance in the relationship, he will make every effort to return the feeling of his own "I", which he experienced next to you. This is what pushes men to show determination, perseverance and initiative.

How to intrigue a man?

The secret is simple! A woman needs to create such an atmosphere in a relationship that a man feels like God. It is necessary to make every effort so that he sees his superiority. However, this feeling should not be delayed, but pass fleetingly.

A woman is greatly mistaken, expecting decisiveness and initiative from a man just for the fact that she is. This will happen only if you are lucky enough to penetrate into his inner world, fill him with feelings and love, create a feeling of his uniqueness. It is impossible to artificially create a unique range of these feelings, they must be felt from the inside. And when a man catches this state, he will be ready for anything. Remember, feelings are contagious!

A man, being in a state of love, is capable of many actions, sometimes even unconscious ones. But it is the woman who makes it so. After all, in order for him to fall in love, a woman’s desire and willingness to let him into her inner world, wrap him in love and give care is necessary.

Remember how in fairy tales the princes overcame all obstacles in their path in search of their beloved. Try to analyze the behavior of the heroines. After all, the prince did not just rush to look for Cinderella, and Ivan to save the Frog Princess? Before the heroes had a desire to always be near their beloved, there was a feeling of love, which, like an arrow, pierces the heart and pushes them to exploits, and sometimes even to death.

How to conquer a man?

Of course, we women dream that our love would be as beautiful as in a fairy tale? But you must admit that Cinderella in the fairy tale possessed all the female character traits that could turn the head of any man - kindness, patience, spiritual purity. But this is not so important among us, and now there are many such women, but for some reason not everyone comes across princes. What is the cause of such injustice?

It's simple, Cinderella had a single clearly articulated goal - to get to the ball. She was sure of her desire, and only thanks to this she managed to get into the palace.

It is extremely important for every woman to understand her desires and understand what she really wants. If she does not do this, then her life will be like a lost ship that has lost its course and cannot find its way in the expanses of the raging ocean. Only a clear understanding of her goals leads a woman to the desired result.

But there is another point to which you need to pay attention. Dancing with Cinderella, the prince was struck not by her appearance, but by the atmosphere of love, tenderness and mutual understanding. The prince felt that he was admired. This blew him away. Surprisingly, the feeling of admiration does not require any action, it comes from the soul and heart. To do this, you do not need to correspond to a man and try to satisfy his desires. It is enough for him to feel that he is the best and special. After all, during the disappearance of Cinderella, the prince, without hesitation, rushed in search of her in order to regain his unique sense of SELF.

In another tale, before the youngest son rushed to look for his beloved, the Frog Princess, he first saw not only her beauty, but also what she was capable of. Although nowadays it is not difficult to find good housewives and handymen of all trades, for some reason not everyone can attract men to themselves. The princess gave him something more, she managed to put him in the best light in front of people. The frog princess, thanks to her magical power, not only showed her concern for him, but also admired him.

We all remember how the youngest son was afraid that his choice might not be the best among the brothers. After all, he was already used to being a loser, and the Princess gave him hope. Only thanks to her, he was able to feel his superiority over his brothers and rise in the eyes of his father. He constantly felt weak and disadvantaged, but then he managed to get rid of the complexes and feel proud. He could not help but go in search of his beloved! She gave him a sense of importance that he could only maintain in her presence.

Therefore, before demanding initiative from a man, understand yourself and try to understand if you want this man? If you really love and admire your chosen one, then give him the opportunity to feel it. But this feeling should be fleeting, and you should also be in a similar state.

Light the fiery fire of your love first!

A man will not feel passion for a woman if she herself does not light up with her. If you want the attitude towards you every day to be the same as on the first day of meeting, then first awaken these feelings in your heart. Light the fiery fire of your love first! After all, feelings are contagious, and if a feeling of desire burns in you, a man will not be able to remain indifferent to him.

Women in vain believe that it is men who should be the initiators of relationships. And they are waiting for the fairytale prince to come, who will wake her feelings and light the fire of love. Of course, life is quite unpredictable, and anything can happen. But still, we should remember that before a flame flares up in a man’s heart, he must at least for a moment feel like God, next to his beloved. A man is attracted not by female wisdom and beauty, but by his inner feelings next to her! And for this, men are ready for anything! And he feels like a MAN only

With love,
Irina Gavrilova Dempsey!

The initiative of a woman in relation to a man - is she needed? Which makes the lady take matters into her own hands. The attitude of men to women's activity. How to show your sympathy and when not to do it.

The content of the article:

Women's initiative is more of a response to male indecision than a manifestation of emancipation. This is how a woman interprets her behavior, since not all princes decide to take the first step. And sometimes they just don't want to do it. Therefore, it is very important to know whether the initiative on the part of the girl is appropriate and decent.

Causes of a man's passivity


There are representatives of the fair sex who do not wonder how the chosen “object” will perceive their activity. They just act. However, most women are still focused on gender stereotypes, one of which says that the initiative in relationships is the prerogative of a man.

He is a protector, a provider, a conqueror. He chooses, achieves and reserves the right to decide how long the relationship will be. However, either women are in a hurry to live, or men do not seek to change their usual way of life, but decisive actions on the part of the latter sometimes have to wait a long time. And there can be many reasons for this.

The most common reasons for the lack of initiative of men in a relationship:

  • Timidity. Indecision, self-doubt - one of the highest barriers in front of a man on the way to a woman he liked. These feelings literally paralyze him, especially near the object of passion.
  • Circumstances. As an obstacle to joint happiness on the part of a man, his personal attitudes (difference in age, social status, financial situation), national and racial characteristics and restrictions can also act. In many companies, firms and organizations, office romances are not welcome, which can also deter male activity.
  • Fear of failure. Previous failures in a relationship can significantly moderate the ardor of even the most active member of the stronger sex. Disappointment in women can change a man's behavior in two ways: either block his desire to start a new relationship, or change the vector towards intermittent relationships.
  • Loss of interest. The reason that a man does not show interest in you may be that this same interest has disappeared from him. This may be the result of stagnation in a relationship, loss of feelings, meeting another woman. The worst option is a sharp cooling of the relationship after the man got his. Especially if the initiator of the relationship was a woman.
  • gender stereotype. Adherents of masculinity in relationships categorically do not accept the activity of women. Therefore, one of the possible reactions to a woman's attempts to build a relationship with him on her own may be ignoring. Or a complete loss of interest, even if he was before the first steps of a woman - after all, she stole from him the chance to do everything himself.
  • Not contact. If the man you like is quite active, successful and self-confident, but does not show interest in you, most likely you have not touched the string in him that would make him act.
  • infantilism. Passivity in relations with the opposite sex is the natural behavior of men who, from childhood, live and make all decisions under the strict control of female family members. They cannot do otherwise.
  • An abundance of offers. The modern man is really spoiled by the number of beautiful free women eager to get married. The statistics, once voiced in a famous song, are no longer relevant: today, for 9 unmarried men, there are no longer 10, but 45-55 unmarried women. Ready for almost anything to arrange your personal life. This relaxes the "grooms" - the "brides" will do everything themselves.
In addition, male lack of initiative can be explained by a simple unwillingness to start a serious relationship and marry. There is a category of men for whom loneliness is a comfortable state of life, which they do not allow to invade. Or they do, but on their own terms.

Peculiarities of men's attitude to women's initiative


All men are different. Therefore, the initiative of a woman in a relationship is perceived by them differently. They can even be divided into several types.

The main types of men in relation to the initiative from a woman:

  1. Businessmen. He has everything scheduled for several months in advance, there is a lot of work to do, and his head is occupied with business plans, projects, problems and meetings. Therefore, the tactics of "working" with him must be chosen appropriately - direct and clear. Decided to take the first step - make an appointment with the exact time and exact address. In this case, coquetry and other female "tricks" have little chance - he may simply not notice them.
  2. Master. A man of this way of life a priori does not accept women's initiative. His whole life is a set of rules. His rules. He decides everything himself. Therefore, attempts to directly influence his feelings and decisions are initially unsuccessful. But if you dream of just such a solid shoulder, try to take it with simple worldly joys, which, by the way, he appreciates very much. It can be unobtrusive care, interest in his life, delicious simple food and hints of how much you love home comfort and family values. And no hint of a career, independence and self-sufficiency.
  3. Romantic nature. One of the most difficult types, since the romantic principles of courtship involve the initiative exclusively from a man: flowers, gifts, dates and original declarations of love. In this case, your active position can be veiled into friendly (friendly) relations. You can start with simple requests for help: change a light bulb, deal with a gadget, fix a faucet, etc. (depending on what your chosen one is into). And while he's dealing with your vital problem, chirp him about how much you love romance and how important it is in a relationship.
  4. . Assertive initiative in relations with men of this type is not always successful, despite the apparent ease of "processing" the gentleman. At the last moment, an insecure man can back out. Due to doubts about the sincerity of interest: are there mercantile nuances involved here or a desire to get married urgently (according to the option “for lack of fish - and cancer is a fish”). And the older such a "groom", the more cautious he is. Such a man can succumb to your female tricks only with full confidence that you are driven by a really sincere feeling, and not by his material values ​​​​(apartment, car, money) or your need to acquire the status of a married woman (due to age, unwillingness to live with parents, as revenge on another man, etc.).

How to show women's initiative

If your man does not have any of the above "contraindications" to relationships, you can move on to more specific actions. However, first decide for yourself with three points. First: do you really need your chosen one. Second: what will you do with it if you succeed. Third: what to do in case of refusal. And only after that you can decide on tactics and look for the most effective way to take the initiative in dealing with the chosen object of attention.

Preparatory stage


If being active in relationships with the opposite sex isn't exactly your thing, sit down and do a thorough soul-searching on the subject. The categorical internal rejection of such an idea should be a good reason for you to choose a different tactic to attract attention. Even if you have no such experience at all, but there is enthusiasm, a desire to get the man of your dreams and at least a drop of confidence that he will reciprocate, start preparing for action.

To make your initiative as natural and easy as possible, practice on other members of the stronger sex. Meet men in public places (transport, shops, cafes, cinemas, offices, organizations, etc.). The reason for acquaintance may be a request for help, advice, consultation or simple communication on free topics.

Your goal is to learn how to talk at ease and freely to your interlocutor that he is nice and pleasant to you during communication. And also calmly and easily accept any reaction on his part. As soon as you feel ready to express your sympathy to any young man without any problems and also to survive any response without any problems, you can safely proceed to actions in relation to your chosen one.

Stranger Initiative


If you are thinking about whether to take the initiative in a relationship with a man who you do not know, but really liked, then there is no definite answer to this question. Just like the same men.

Someone will be very pleased with the attention from an unfamiliar (or unfamiliar) woman, and someone may react ambiguously to attempts to establish contact. Therefore, it is better to start with intelligence - how he will react to the most transparent hints of sympathy.

To do this, first just keep your eyes on it a little more than usual. If no inadequate consequences follow this, at the next meeting, smile slightly at him, because he is already almost your acquaintance. It is much easier to act if you very often intersect with your object of attention (at work, in the yard, in an educational institution, gym, in transport, etc.).

Having become familiar with each other, it will not be difficult to move from smiles to greetings and one day to say “Hi” to him. Just like that, in passing. Or ask for help - any, even the most insignificant. And do not forget to show reciprocal sympathy if a man “bites”.

Active actions in relation to a familiar man


The fact that you know each other, on the one hand, makes the task easier, and on the other hand, complicates it. After all, he has not yet shown increased interest in you. Such a nuance requires delicacy in behavior so as not to reproach yourself for what you have done and not hide your eyes in case of refusal.

The beginning of your actions is standard - light flirting, the purpose of which is to inform a friend that he is pleasant, interesting and attractive to you. Flirt as gently and unobtrusively as possible.

Your main weapons are hints, play, jokes, mystery (in moderation) and charm. No pressure and jealous attacks. If your future boyfriend is included in your game, it means that he cares about you too and did everything right. Now you can gradually give the initiative into his hands.

If all your attempts to attract attention do not touch him in any way or, moreover, make him avoid you, leave such a “groom” alone. He is not the last and not the only one. So there is no need to waste your precious energy.

The return of the interest of the former lover


The object of activity on the part of a woman does not have to be a man who, for some reason, does not show initiative towards her. Quite often, after some thought (or circumstance), we want to attract the attention of our ex or the person whose advances went unanswered. If a breakup or an attempt to start a relationship went smoothly and civilized, the chances of attracting the attention of such a man are quite high.

First you need to get in touch with him - in any way and under any pretext. It can be a congratulation on some holiday, lyrical memories of the old days of relationships or friendship, a request for help, etc. That is, you need to remind yourself and come up with a reason to meet.

After establishing contact, communication can be "seasoned" with small hints and signs of attention that would show him that there is something more than friendship between you.

However, you also need to be careful here, especially if you were the culprit of the failed "love-story". A man can remember everything and look closely at your behavior and emotions. Your task is to prove to him that everything is sincere and honest on your part. And do it delicately, gradually.

Important! Remember a very important rule of women's initiative - do not be intrusive. Therefore, if you decide to be the first to invite a man on a date, he should invite him to all subsequent meetings.

Taboo for women's initiative


There are cases when taking the first steps in relation to a man is not just inconvenient, but inappropriate or even not decent.

Cases when it is better to refuse the initiative in a relationship with a man:

  • Object already taken. If your chosen one already has a serious relationship or family (especially with children), do not try to build your happiness on someone else's misfortune. It has been tested for centuries: nothing good comes of it. An absolute taboo if his wife or girlfriend is in an interesting position.
  • Object - rude. The man you have chosen does not consider it necessary to treat you with elementary respect, to observe the rules of politeness and friendliness. That is, he can afford to make fun of you, be rude, make fun of you, make rude remarks and use foul language.
  • Object - not your field berry. That is, between you there is an abyss of social or material origin. It is not worth arguing with the rule derived by the ancient Romans, according to which love loves equals. Even if you are very impressed with the story of Cinderella, remember that in it the initiative came from the Prince. If the man you love has a higher status, it is better to make an effort to get as close as possible to him: learn, develop, achieve success yourself.
  • Object - not by age. A misalliance can also happen in the case of unequal relationships, when the age difference is more than 20 years towards seniority and more than 10 years towards a younger man. Such age gaps create a certain vacuum in interests, hobbies, life principles and the perception of life in general. Therefore, activity here may cause an inadequate reaction in your object of attention.
  • Object - target. No need to spoil your karma and try to win a man out of selfish or some kind of personal goals. Revenge, position, connections and wealth, of course, paint a man, but you should not put them in the first place. Focus solely on your feelings for him - real, honest. Otherwise, you may get a not entirely pleasant answer both from the object of passion itself and from the all-seeing Universe.
  • Object - ghost. Of course, conditionally. The term “ghost” refers to a man who regularly disappears from your life without warning or explanation. If he does not consider it necessary to inform you of his "movements", you should not make an effort to return him to his native nest. If he doesn't think so. Look for a new life partner who will be next to you in a constant orbit.

Important! Don't forget that you are a woman. Sensual, worthy of respect and good relations. Therefore, turn on intuition and reason at the same time, they will definitely prompt the right choice.


Watch the video about the women's initiative:


Women's initiative in relationships is largely the result of our fast-paced time, when a modern woman decides to take this sphere of life into her own hands. And there are many examples where such pressure brings beneficial results in the form of lasting relationships. Similarly, there are many failed examples. Therefore, each girl must choose her own position in relations with a particular man.

A woman is not supposed to conquer a man - according to her status, she is not a hunter and not a conqueror, these qualities are fully related to a real man. But, nevertheless, many women think that if they occupy all the niches in a man’s life, then their relationship will improve much from this.

Women's secrets how to win a man

From this moment, she tries to be with a man everywhere: hunting, fishing, trying to get into men's gatherings, get to know all his friends and relatives, showing initiative and vigorous activity in this, trying to find out all his secrets of his personal life before they become meet. He constantly calls him and sends SMS, controls where he is and what he does. To please a man, she gives him gifts, buys clothes and shoes, dictates to him what to wear to look cool, feeds him.

Men do not like such importunity and diktat and usually run away forever. He will not win such a woman.

The thesis itself - "The more a woman is present in a man's life, the better their relationship" is not bad, but there are some significant nuances in this:

  • Firstly, does a man need such care? After all, “care” in the understanding of the man himself and in the understanding of the woman are significantly different. Let's take, for this, a simple, illustrative example with dogs. Now, during the cold weather, on the streets of cities, you can see a lot of dogs walking, dressed in clothes specially sewn for them: sweaters, boots, hats, etc., although each of them has a good thick coat, nature prepared for the animal for such a time of the year. Dogs, in this sewn clothes, do not move well, have a stiff, joyless look and are ashamed of them, they walk with their heads lowered, their tail does not wag, and there is no trace of playfulness.

Dogs are happy when they have the opportunity to run after a bicycle, a thrown stick. And what do hunting dogs look like, which have just been in icy water and pulled out a shot duck - how much pride and pleasure in their appearance.

So are men. They can malnourish, train, earn in difficult conditions and win, then they feel an incomparable pride. The one who was full, but did not achieve anything, because he did nothing, experiences bitter disappointment, and he will definitely transfer this feeling to the woman who indulged his laziness. If you take care of him as a child, by this you emphasize that he is a child, a real man, he will certainly be offended and disappointed in you.

No need to wrap him up - he himself knows how to dress, no need to stuff him with food - he himself knows when to eat and how much to eat. If he has no money, do not slip him money - let him get out, look for a way to earn money, solve the problems that have arisen. Otherwise, he will spoil himself and sit on your neck. Do not lisp with a man, but push him to exploits, tell him: “You are my hero, I believe you will find a way to earn money both for an apartment and for investment and for study. » Encourage his desire to rise above, create a reliable foundation for life, do not encourage his laziness, the desire to be a home. He does not need your benevolence, but your faith in his strength and that you inspire him, inspire and inspire him tirelessly, that's what you need to take care of all the time.

You don’t need to run after him - he should run after you, win your attention, having the opportunity to show off his exploits to you.

  • Secondly, it's great when a woman tries to be present in all aspects of a man's life, but the question arises: on whose initiative does this happen? The initiative must come from a man, then it will be right and bring a positive result. A man should introduce a woman to his friends at his will, and not at the insistence of a woman. The same is true with relatives.
  • Thirdly, the initiative in rapprochement in 90% of cases should be initiated by a man.

There is an unspoken law of unobtrusive rapprochement on the part of a woman - she must take the initiative in calls, SMS, chats, social in a ratio of 3: 1, and even 5: 1, i.e. 2-5 calls from a man to you and 1 call from you to him . Call him if it is already very necessary to call: you need help, you decided to reschedule the meeting, or you want to apologize for the quarrel that happened between you.

This rule also applies to the stage of acquaintance between a man and a woman and to family people.

The initiative must always come from the man

The first steps towards getting to know each other, organizing a meeting, making a date, deciding to start a family, introduce a woman to her parents, rent an apartment, buy a house, etc. If you give a man the opportunity to take the initiative, patiently waiting, then the relationship will be much more harmonious and stronger, which in in the end will bring happiness to both.

The speed of rapprochement between a woman and a man is different, a man approaches much more slowly than a woman.

If a woman, after a month, begins to consider a guy "the only one", then a man needs about six months to overcome this stage. And if you start to force things, he can simply disappear, because he will consider that there is an encroachment on his freedom, they do not take into account his will.

They say that times are not the same now: women are no longer muslin ladies, and men are no longer knights. Like, many representatives of the strong half of humanity have ceased to win women's hearts, but are waiting for the ladies to take the initiative in relationships. There is an opinion that in the age of equality, a girl should not be ashamed of her desire to meet a guy, so it’s quite possible to call him first and invite him on a date. Are the old ideas still alive today, or has the attitude towards the women's initiative changed dramatically with the change of the millennium? Correspondents of "VV" talk about it.

Women's view: completely for the male initiative, but ...

I'll tell you right away, I'm completely for the male initiative. Probably, the educational instructions of my mother are strong in me, who taught me to be a lady to the tips of my nails and not to meet a guy first.

Even if he showed activity characteristic of real men and gave his phone number when meeting, then you should use it no earlier than two or three days, then almost from the first seconds of the conversation you can understand whether he was waiting for a call, whether he liked you and whether it is worth continuing to communicate . But to be an impeccable lady a la blue blood is now oh how difficult! I'll explain why.

Firstly, the profession obliges to be hyper-communicative with both women and men.

Secondly, the passion for photography completely destroyed the stereotype “the girl does not write (call) first”: there are many young men among my models, and just walking up to a handsome guy on the street and asking to take his photo is no longer a problem for me.

Thirdly, the age of gallant knights, alas, has practically passed, and waiting for mercy from the stronger sex means practically waiting for nothing. Accordingly, I often take risks and play all-in.

In my school years, I was quite recognizable in my native city, and the guys did not dare to get acquainted with such a famous girl. All slow dances at discos had to stand near the wall, but I wanted to be on the dance floor. Even then I understood well the price of popularity. At the same time, she came to the conclusion that an attractive appearance and success in any field do not guarantee crowds of fans. Covert, maybe, but definitely not overt.

And the main personal conclusion: if you want to invite the boy you like, invite him. It’s not a fact that in ten years he will seem as special to you, but you will definitely remember that dance with him at the disco.

I often hear from men that ladies are too proud, make unreasonably high demands on them, began to imagine themselves as real queens with modest physical, financial and, to be honest, mental capabilities. And you can't approach anyone without getting rejected.

As a rule, a couple of cases of unsuccessful acquaintance are enough for a young man to make his own conclusion about women in general. In fairness, it should be noted that complaints often come from those who themselves are not able to give anything to a woman and believe that she demands too much from him. Perhaps even initiative will not help such a subject in any way, because he is initially set up for defeat.

Experts have come to the conclusion that people are somewhat afraid of beautiful

According to the results of one sociological study, experts came to the conclusion that people are somewhat afraid of the beautiful: they don’t sit next to them in transport, they don’t talk on the street, and in a large company they try to stay away from the most attractive.

It's all about comparing yourself with the appearance of another. Many do not withstand such competition. As a result, beautiful men and women remain either alone or with those who are not at all concerned about conventions and the results of social research. And there are very few recent examples in life.

Men, if in a cafe, on the street or in a store, an attractive girl kept her eyes on you a little longer than just fleetingly, and smiled affably - act, get to know each other boldly! It’s not scary to get rejected, because a stranger can just get scared and blurt out something inappropriately out of surprise. Turn everything into a joke, and even better - start communication with it.

They say laughter brings people together the best

They say laughter brings people together the best. In addition, this is a chance to see sincere emotions on the girl’s face and convince her of your good intentions.

If a woman's initiative when meeting is not always appropriate, then in order to continue communication, I think it is simply necessary.

After all, it is difficult for a man to always lead a lady behind him, and her indifference even scares away. Call a guy for a walk in the evening, ask to join a movie or at a party with friends - there are plenty of plausible excuses for meetings, while the girl will not seem intrusive or too bold. But by the way, we, dear ladies, sometimes do not take courage, because not only a man, but the whole world can be in our gentle hands.

Alesya PUSHNYAKOVA.

Male look: it’s easier for girls to get to know each other

Emancipation is sweeping the planet. There are more and more women in politics and power, fewer and fewer “non-female” professions, the fair sex is successfully making a career, earning money, and so on. Gradually, the manifestation of greater initiative on the part of women in relations with the opposite sex becomes normal. But do men want it?

Everything has its positive and negative sides. A big plus is that a girl can quickly build relationships with a guy she likes. This is where all the good stuff ends.

A man caught on the hook of an enterprising lady rarely thinks about marriage

Practice shows that a man who is hooked by an enterprising lady rarely thinks about a serious relationship, especially marriage. Usually everything is limited to a couple of intimate dates. In the West, where emancipation sometimes reaches the point of absurdity, they generally coined the term "friendly sex", putting intimacy on a par with playing sports. Like, it's easier.

Nobody canceled physiology and instincts, but there is no time for a candy-bouquet period, and even more so for a serious relationship - you need to study, make a career, earn money. So colleagues, friends and just acquaintances “communicate in bed”. And from whom the initiative comes here is no longer important.

Unfortunately (in my opinion), something similar is observed with us. Already today, in many Belarusian cities, so-called “speed dates” are held for small contributions, when in a few minutes you can chat with a dozen potential partners at once.

The organizers have contacts of all participants, and if mutual sympathy is planned, you can exchange phone numbers. The life of enterprising ladies is greatly simplified thanks to online dating, thematic forums, and so on.

I am writing these lines and involuntarily, speaking of women's initiative, I use the word "ladies". Yes, because my friends, and me, did not have examples of relationships with young girls on their own initiative. Like it, keep it up! And older women did try to get to know each other several times in the restaurant, starting the conversation with the classic “Would you buy a lady a drink?” or “Would you like to keep company?”.

What emotions does this evoke in a self-sufficient man? Boredom and ... an unpleasant feeling that you are being "removed." On the other hand, one can understand women of the Balzac age, who, perhaps, are not all right in their personal lives.

Young people are stepping on their heels, and they always want to be loved and needed. Cruel? Yes, but such is life. And it is unlikely that you will “win” an adequate man with a female initiative.

And what kind of “man” is this, if he himself is not initially interested in a woman enough to overcome his shyness and embarrassment and get to know each other. And then you can endlessly look for an excuse for those who do not really want to be near you - persistent, proactive, attentive. To prove to myself that everything is fine, I'm happy, he's just like that ... He doesn't want to get married, he doesn't see children in the future ... It's sad, in general.

On the other hand, not everything is so bad. I will never forget how a girl who later became his wife met one of my acquaintances at a disco. “Accidentally”, passing by, stepped on his foot and almost fell. We met and liked each other.
Photo case

Maybe it was a trick, but it worked in combination: the girl turned out to be attractive and interesting in every way. Could pass...

The psychology of a hunter in a man has been preserved to this day

It should be understood that the psychology of a hunter in a man has survived to this day. Little has changed in this regard since the Stone Age.

It is rare for a man to like to be hung up on him so fiercely and openly offered himself. If you want to get acquainted first, psychologists advise you to “throw the bait” with a sweet smile, “shoot your eyes”, in the end, ask how to get to the library.

And most importantly - be feminine and respect yourself! If the man you like is your person, then the acquaintance will take place, and if not, then this is only for the better. Because it's hard to live or meet a person who does not love you, but only accepts love.

Alexander KUTYNKO.


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