The sacrament of the wedding rules and preparation. Are Confession and Communion required before a wedding?

Wedding

The wedding is the sacrament of the Church, in which God gives future spouses, when they promise to be faithful to each other, the grace of pure unanimity for a joint Christian life, the birth and upbringing of children.

Those wishing to get married must be believing baptized Orthodox Christians. They should be deeply aware that the unauthorized dissolution of a marriage approved by God, as well as the violation of the vow of fidelity, is an absolute sin.

Sacrament of the Wedding: how to prepare for it?

Marriage life must begin with spiritual preparation.

The bride and groom before marriage must certainly confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries. It is desirable that they prepare themselves for the Sacraments of confession and communion three or four days before this day.

For marriage, you need to prepare two icons - the Savior and the Mother of God, with which during the Sacrament they bless the bride and groom. Previously, these icons were taken from parental homes, they were passed on as a home shrine from parents to children. Icons are brought by parents, and if they do not participate in the Sacrament of the wedding - by the bride and groom.

The bride and groom get wedding rings. The ring is a sign of eternity and the inseparability of the marriage union. One of the rings should be gold and the other silver. The golden ring symbolizes with its brilliance the sun, the light of which is likened to the husband in marriage; silver - the likeness of the moon, a smaller luminary, shining with reflected sunlight. Now, as a rule, gold rings are bought for both spouses. Rings can also be embellished with precious stones.

But still, the main preparation for the upcoming sacrament is fasting. The Holy Church recommends that those entering into marriage prepare themselves for it by the feat of fasting, prayer, repentance and communion.

How to choose the day for the wedding?

The future spouses should discuss the day and time of the wedding with the priest in advance and personally.
Before the wedding, it is necessary to confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. It is possible to do this not on the very day of the Wedding.

It is advisable to invite two witnesses.

Icon of the Savior.
Icon of the Mother of God.
Wedding rings.
Wedding candles (sold in the temple).
White towel (towel for spreading under the feet).

What do witnesses need to know?

In pre-revolutionary Russia, when church marriage had legal civil and legal force, Orthodox marriage was necessarily performed with guarantors - among the people they were called friend, friend or best man, and in liturgical books (breviaries) - godparents. The guarantors confirmed with their signatures the act of marriage in the register of births; they, as a rule, knew the bride and groom well, and vouched for them. The guarantors took part in the betrothal and wedding, that is, while the bride and groom walked around the lectern, they held the crowns over their heads.

Now guarantors (witnesses) may or may not be - at the request of the spouses. The guarantors must necessarily be Orthodox, preferably church people, and must treat the Sacrament of the wedding with reverence. The duties of guarantors during marriage are, in their spiritual basis, the same as godparents in Baptism: just as godparents experienced in spiritual life are required to lead godchildren in Christian life, so guarantors must spiritually lead a new family. Therefore, earlier people were not invited to be guarantors, young, not married, not familiar with family and married life.

About behavior in the temple during the Sacrament of the Wedding

It often seems as if the bride and groom, accompanied by relatives and friends, came to the temple not to pray for those entering into marriage, but to act. Waiting for the end of the Liturgy, they talk, laugh, walk around the church, stand with their backs to the images and the iconostasis. All those invited to the church for a wedding should know that during the wedding, the Church no longer prays for anyone, as soon as for two persons - the bride and groom (unless the prayer “for raising parents” is said only once). The inattention and indifference of the bride and groom to church prayer shows that they came to the temple only because of custom, because of fashion, at the request of their parents. Meanwhile, this hour of prayer in the temple has an impact on all subsequent family life. All those who are at the wedding, and especially the bride and groom, should pray fervently during the performance of the Sacrament.

How does the engagement take place?

The wedding is preceded by the betrothal.

The betrothal is performed in commemoration of the fact that marriage is performed in the face of God, in His presence, according to His all-good Providence and discretion, when the mutual promises of those entering into marriage are sealed before Him.

The betrothal takes place after the Divine Liturgy. By this, the bride and groom are instilled with the importance of the Sacrament of marriage, it is emphasized with what reverence and trembling, with what spiritual purity they should begin to conclude it.

The fact that the betrothal takes place in the temple means that the husband receives his wife from the Lord Himself. In order to more clearly suggest that the betrothal takes place before the face of God, the Church commands the betrothed to appear before the holy doors of the temple, while the priest, who at this time depicts the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, is in the sanctuary, or in the altar.

The priest introduces the bride and groom into the temple in commemoration of the fact that those who are getting married, like the primordial progenitors Adam and Eve, begin from this moment before the face of God Himself, in His Holy Church, their new and holy life in a pure marriage.

The ceremony begins with incense in imitation of the pious Tobiah, who set fire to the liver and heart of the fish in order to drive away the demon hostile to honest marriages with smoke and prayer (see: Tov. 8, 2). The priest blesses the groom three times, then the bride, saying: “In the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit” and gives them lighted candles. For each blessing, first the groom, then the bride, make the sign of the cross three times and receive candles from the priest.

The signing of the cross three times and the handing over of lit candles to the bride and groom is the beginning of a spiritual celebration. The lit candles that the bride and groom hold in their hands signify the love that they should now have for each other and which should be fiery and pure. Lighted candles also signify the chastity of the bride and groom and the abiding grace of God.
The cruciform incense signifies the invisible, mysterious presence with us of the grace of the Holy Spirit, who sanctifies us and performs the holy sacraments of the Church.

According to the custom of the Church, any sacred ceremony begins with a glorification of God, and when a marriage is performed, it also has a special meaning: to those who are getting married, their marriage is a great and holy deed, one through which the name of God is glorified and blessed. (Cry: "Blessed is our God.")

Peace from God is necessary for those who are married, and they combine in peace, for peace and unanimity. (The deacon proclaims: “Let us pray to the Lord for peace. Let us pray to the Lord for peace from above and the salvation of our souls.”).

Then the deacon says, between other usual prayers, prayers for the newlyweds on behalf of all those present in the temple. The first prayer of the Holy Church for the bride and groom is a prayer for those who are now engaged and for their salvation. The Holy Church prays to the Lord for the bride and groom entering into marriage. The purpose of marriage is the blessed birth of children for the continuation of the human race. At the same time, the Holy Church pronounces a prayer that the Lord will fulfill any petition of the bride and groom related to their salvation.

The priest, as the performer of the sacrament of marriage, says aloud a prayer to the Lord that He Himself bless the bride and groom for every good deed. Then the priest, having given peace to everyone, commands the bride and groom and all those present in the temple to bow their heads before the Lord, in expectation of a spiritual blessing from him, while he himself secretly reads a prayer.

This prayer goes up to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Bridegroom of the Holy Church, whom He betrothed to Himself.

After that, the priest takes the rings from the holy throne and first puts on the ring to the groom, overshadowing him three times with a cross, saying: “The servant of God (name of the groom) is betrothed to the servant of God (name of the bride) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Then he puts on the ring to the bride, also with her triple overshadowing, and says the words: “The servant of God (the name of the bride) is betrothed to the servant of God (the name of the groom) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Rings are very important during betrothal: this is not just a gift from the groom to the bride, but a sign of an inseparable, eternal union between them. The rings are placed on the right side of the holy throne, as if before the face of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. This emphasizes that through touching the holy throne and reclining on it, they can receive the power of sanctification and bring down the blessing of God on the spouses. The rings on the holy throne lie side by side, thereby expressing mutual love and unity in the faith of the bride and groom.

After the blessing of the priest, the bride and groom exchange rings. The groom puts his ring on the bride's hand as a sign of love and readiness to sacrifice everything to his wife and help her all her life; the bride puts her ring on the groom's hand as a sign of her love and devotion, as a sign of her readiness to accept help from him all her life. Such an exchange is made three times in honor and glory of the Most Holy Trinity, Who does and affirms everything (sometimes the priest himself changes the rings).

Then the priest again prays to the Lord that He Himself bless and confirm the Betrothal, Himself overshadow the position of the rings with a heavenly blessing and send them a guardian angel and guide in their new life. This is where the engagement ends.

How is the wedding done?

The bride and groom, holding lit candles in their hands, depicting the spiritual light of the sacrament, solemnly enter the middle of the temple. They are preceded by a priest with a censer, indicating by this that on the path of life they must follow the commandments of the Lord, and their good deeds will, like incense, ascend to God. The choir meets them with the singing of Psalm 127, in which the prophet-psalmist David glorifies God-blessed marriage; before each verse the choir sings: “Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee.”

The bride and groom stand on a kerchief (white or pink) spread out on the floor in front of the lectern, on which lie the cross, the Gospel and crowns.

The bride and groom in the face of the whole Church once again confirm the free and unconstrained desire to marry and the absence in the past on the part of each of them of a promise to a third person to marry him.

The priest asks the groom: “Imache (name), a good and unconstrained will, and a strong thought, take this (name) as your wife, you see right here before you.”
(“Do you have a sincere and unconstrained desire and firm intention to be the husband of this (name of the bride) that you see here in front of you?”)

And the bridegroom answers: “Imam, honest father” (“I have, honest father”). And the priest further asks: “Have you promised yourself to another bride” (“Are you bound by a promise to another bride?”). And the groom replies: “I didn’t promise, honest father” (“No, I’m not bound”).

Then the same question is addressed to the bride: “Do you have a good and unconstrained will, and a firm thought, understand this (name) as your husband, you see it before you here” (“Do you have a sincere and unconstrained desire and firm intention to be a wife this (name of the groom) whom you see before you?”) and “Have you promised yourself to another husband” (“Are you bound by a promise to another groom?”) - “No, not bound”.

So, the bride and groom confirmed before God and the Church the voluntariness and inviolability of their intention to enter into marriage. This will in a non-Christian marriage is a decisive principle. In Christian marriage, it is the main condition for a natural (according to the flesh) marriage, a condition after which it should be considered concluded.

Now, only after the conclusion of this natural marriage, does the mysterious consecration of the marriage by Divine grace begin - the rite of the wedding. The wedding ceremony begins with a liturgical exclamation: “Blessed is the Kingdom…”, which proclaims the participation of the newlyweds in the Kingdom of God.

After a short litany on the well-being of the soul and body of the bride and groom, the priest says three lengthy prayers.

The first prayer is addressed to the Lord Jesus Christ. The priest prays: “Bless this marriage: and give to Your servants this peaceful life, long life, love for each other in the union of the world, a long-lived seed, an unfading crown of glory; make them worthy to see the children of their children, keep their bed unholy. And grant them from the dew of heaven above, and from the fatness of the earth; fill their houses with wheat, wine and oil, and every good thing, so that they share the surplus with those in need, grant to those who are now with us everything that is needed for salvation.

In the second prayer, the priest prays to the Triune Lord to bless, preserve and remember those who are married. “Give them the fruit of the womb, goodness, unanimity in souls, exalt them like the cedars of Lebanon” like a vine with beautiful branches, give them spiked seed, so that they, having contentment in everything, abound for every good deed and pleasing to You. And may they see their sons from their sons, like the young offspring of an olive tree, around their trunk and pleasing before You, may they shine like lights in heaven in You, our Lord.

Then, in the third prayer, the priest once again turns to the Triune God and implores Him that He, who created man and then from his rib created a wife to help him, send down His hand from His holy dwelling, and combine those who are married, crown them in one flesh, and gave them the fruit of the womb.

After these prayers, the most important moments of the wedding come. What the priest prayed to the Lord God before the face of the whole church and together with the whole church - for the blessing of God - is now visibly performed on the newlyweds, strengthens and sanctifies their marital union.

The priest, taking the crown, marks them with a cruciform groom and gives him to kiss the image of the Savior, attached to the front of the crown. When crowning the bridegroom, the priest says: “The servant of God (the name of the rivers) is getting married to the servant of God (the name of the rivers) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Having blessed the bride in the same way and letting her venerate the image of the Most Holy Theotokos that adorns her crown, the priest crowns her, saying: “The servant of God (name of the rivers) is crowned to the servant of God (name of the rivers) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Decorated with crowns, the bride and groom stand before the face of God Himself, the face of the entire Church, heavenly and earthly, and await the blessing of God. The most solemn, most holy minute of the wedding is coming!

The priest says: “Lord, our God, crown them with glory and honor!” At these words, he, on behalf of God, blesses them. The priest pronounces this prayer proclamation three times and blesses the bride and groom three times.

All those present in the temple should intensify the prayer of the priest, in the depths of their souls they should repeat after him: “Lord, our God! Crown them with glory and honor!”

The laying on of crowns and the words of the priest:

“Our Lord, crown them with glory and honor” - they imprint the Sacrament of marriage. The Church, blessing the marriage, proclaims those who are married as the founders of a new Christian family - a small, home church, showing them the way to the Kingdom of God and signifying the eternity of their union, its indissolubility, as the Lord said: What God has joined together, let no man separate (Mt. 19, 6).

Then the Epistle to the Ephesians of the holy Apostle Paul (5, 20-33) is read, where the marriage union is likened to the union of Christ and the Church, for which the Savior who loved her gave Himself. A husband's love for his wife is a likeness of Christ's love for the Church, and a wife's lovingly humble obedience to her husband is a likeness of the Church's attitude towards Christ. true followers of Him, who through suffering and martyrdom confirmed their fidelity and love for the Lord.

The last saying of the apostle: and let the wife be afraid of her husband - calls not for the fear of the weak before the strong, not for the fear of the slave in relation to the master, but for the fear of saddening a loving person, breaking the unity of souls and bodies. The same fear of losing love, and therefore the presence of God in family life, should also be experienced by a husband, whose head is Christ. In another epistle, the apostle Paul says: The wife has no power over her own body, but the husband does; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a while, for exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance (1 Cor. 7, 4-5).

Husband and wife are members of the Church and, being particles of the fullness of the Church, they are equal among themselves, obeying the Lord Jesus Christ.

After the Apostle, the Gospel of John is read (2:1-11). It proclaims God's blessing of the marital union and its sanctification. The miracle of the transformation of water into wine by the Savior foreshadowed the action of the grace of the sacrament, by which earthly conjugal love rises to heavenly love, uniting souls in the Lord. St. Andrew of Crete speaks of the moral change necessary for this, “Marriage is honorable and the bed is immaculate, for Christ blessed them in Cana at marriage, eating the food of the flesh and turning water into wine, having manifested this first miracle, so that you, soul, would change” (Great Canon, in Russian translation, troparion 4, song 9).

After reading the Gospel, a brief petition for the newlyweds and a prayer of the priest are uttered on behalf of the Church, in which we pray to the Lord that He preserve those who are united in peace and like-mindedness, that their marriage is honest, their bed is not filthy, their cohabitation is blameless, so that they will be able to live to old age, while fulfilling His commandments from a pure heart.

The priest proclaims: “And vouchsafe us, Vladyka, with boldness, without condemnation, dare to call on You, Heavenly God the Father, and speak…”. And the newlyweds, together with all those present, sing the prayer “Our Father”, the foundation and crown of all prayers, commanded to us by the Savior Himself.

In the mouths of those who are married, she expresses her determination to serve the Lord with her little church, so that through them on earth His will be fulfilled and reign in their family life. As a sign of humility and devotion to the Lord, they bow their heads under the crowns.

After the Lord's Prayer, the priest glorifies the Kingdom, the power and glory of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and, having taught the world, commands to bow our heads before God, as before the King and Master, and at the same time before our Father. Then a cup of red wine is brought, or rather a cup of communion, and the priest blesses it for the mutual communion of husband and wife. Wine at the wedding is served as a sign of joy and fun, recalling the miraculous transformation of water into wine, performed by Jesus Christ in Cana of Galilee.

The priest gives the young couple three times to drink wine from a common cup - first to the husband, as the head of the family, then to the wife. Usually they drink wine in three small sips: first the husband, then the wife.

Having presented the common cup, the priest connects the right hand of the husband with the right hand of the wife, covers their hands with epitrachelion and puts his hand on top of it. This means that through the hand of the priest the husband receives a wife from the Church itself, uniting them in Christ forever. The priest circles the newlyweds three times around the lectern.

During the first circumambulation, the troparion “Isaiah, rejoice…” is sung, in which the sacrament of the incarnation of the Son of God Emmanuel from the Unsophisticated Mary is glorified.

During the second circumambulation, the troparion “Holy Martyr” is sung. Crowned with crowns, as conquerors of earthly passions, they are an image of the spiritual marriage of the believing soul with the Lord.

Finally, in the third troparion, which is sung during the last circumambulation of the lectern, Christ is glorified as the joy and glory of the newlyweds, their hope in all circumstances of life: “Glory to Thee, Christ God, the praise of the apostles, the joy of the martyrs, their preaching. Trinity consubstantial."

This circular walk means the eternal procession that began on this day for this couple. Their marriage will be an eternal procession hand in hand, a continuation and manifestation of the sacrament that has been accomplished today. Remembering the common cross laid on them today, “carrying each other's burdens,” they will always be filled with the grace-filled joy of this day. At the end of the solemn procession, the priest removes the crowns from the spouses, greeting them with words filled with patriarchal simplicity and therefore especially solemn:

“Be magnified, bridegroom, like Abraham, and be blessed like Isaac, and multiply like Jacob, walk in the world and do the commandments of God in righteousness.”

“And you, bride, be exalted like Sarah, and rejoice like Rebekah, and multiply like Rachel, rejoicing over your husband, keeping the limits of the law, for God is so pleased.”

Then, in the next two prayers, the priest asks the Lord, who blessed the marriage in Cana of Galilee, to accept the crowns of the newlyweds undefiled and blameless in His Kingdom. In the second prayer, read by the priest, with the bowing of the heads of the newlyweds, these petitions are sealed in the name of the Most Holy Trinity and the priestly blessing. At the end of it, the newlyweds with a chaste kiss testify to the holy and pure love for each other.

Further, according to custom, the newlyweds are brought to the royal doors, where the groom kisses the icon of the Savior, and the bride - the image of the Mother of God; then they change places and are applied accordingly: the groom - to the icon of the Mother of God, and the bride - to the icon of the Savior. Here the priest gives them a cross for kissing and hands them two icons: the groom - the image of the Savior, the bride - the image of the Most Holy Theotokos.

First, I want to point out some of the mistakes of the above.

The first is that sins are not forgiven in a wedding. For the first time, sins are forgiven a person during the sacrament of baptism performed on him. The same sins that a person committed after baptism are forgiven in the sacrament of confession. The sacrament of confession (if it is not connected with communion) does not require special preparation, and any baptized person can participate in it.

Before the wedding, it is necessary to confess and take communion. The second mistake is to assert that the time of fasting (that is, preparation for communion) must certainly be seven days. This practice appeared in Russia in tsarist times due to the fact that people then usually took communion only once a year. This, of course, is not enough for a full and harmonious spiritual development. Now the fasting time has become a common practice - 3 days. However, on the advice of the priest, this time can be changed. I advise you to contact the priest and ask his advice on how many days you need to fast and what prayers to subtract. The Lord does not look at the amount of reading, but at the heart of a person. Therefore, it is better to say a few prayers with attention than to read the entire following without attention and with irritation. In any case, you should consult with the priest, warning him that you have never fasted before. It is quite possible that he will advise you to read not the whole sequence, but only a certain part.

During fasting, people refuse meat and dairy products (fasting), read prayers from the follow-up to the sacrament (there is in the prayer book), limit themselves in entertainment (so as not to be distracted from the main thing - from the upcoming meeting with God in the sacrament of communion), refrain from sexual life (also, so as not to be distracted from the main thing) and prepare for confession (remembering all your sins committed after the last confession, or after baptism, if you have not been to confession yet). On the eve of communion, you should attend the evening service in the temple and from 12 o'clock at night until the very communion, do not eat, drink and do not smoke (if you smoke). In the morning you need to come to the Liturgy, confess (in some churches confession is made the night before) and at the end of the service take communion.

It is best, of course, to take communion before the wedding, as it should be. After all, in communion people are united with God, and in weddings with each other before the face of God. In communion, people are also mystically united in Christ with each other. Do not forget to take communion regularly after the wedding. It is best to do this not once a year, but several times a year. By uniting with God in the sacrament of communion, people gain strength to fight their shortcomings and for further harmonious development.

If lovers consciously come to the idea of consecrating their union in the temple, they will definitely face the question of what needs to be done before the wedding in order to adequately prepare for the sacred sacrament. Indeed, unlike the worldly registration, focused on the visible side of the celebration, it is not enough to send out invitations to guests and take care of the banquet. The spiritual union of a man and a woman in the face of God requires careful preparation with a clear understanding of what, in fact, everything is started ...

Step 1: Interview

To make sure that potential spouses understand the seriousness of the vows placed on themselves, and to explain to them some aspects of life in a Christian marriage, it is a tradition in temples to hold a short interview with the bride and groom before the wedding. It takes from 30 minutes to 2-3 hours, depending on the degree of responsibility of the priest and the readiness of the future husband and wife to create a strong union, and takes place 1-2 weeks before the significant event.

What do they ask at the interview before the wedding?

The priest can talk about the spiritual life of the couple: ask how often they visit the church, whether they go to confession regularly, how long have they taken communion, and at the same time give the lovers instructions on how to build relationships with the Church in order to live in accordance with God's commandments and Orthodox traditions.
A lot of time will be devoted to family life. Sometimes the priest, who has rich worldly experience, himself tells the couple about the meaning of Christian marriage, about how to build family relationships, smooth out conflicts, get out of difficult situations with honor, maintaining peace and mutual respect between spouses; sometimes - recommends suitable literature for reading. The conversation is designed to make a man and a woman think about the seriousness of the upcoming changes in their lives and their own readiness for them. If, as a result, the couple is afraid of responsibility and decides to postpone the wedding, this, of course, is sad. But it’s better than if the two united out of frivolity or in a fit of passion, and a year later they began to file petitions for the removal of crowns.
At the end, the priest will tell you about the procedure for performing the coming sacrament and preparing for it: fasting, confession, communion.

Step 2: Fasting

What does it mean to fast before a wedding? The main meaning of the consecration of marriage is to receive God's grace for the newlyweds to create a friendly family. But such a gift cannot be obtained only after standing for a certain number of minutes at the altar! Only those who have done the preparatory work on their souls are capable of accepting it.

Withstood a strict fast before the wedding (or not strict, if one of the newlyweds is employed in hard work or is in poor health). Usually it lasts from 3 days to a week, but if you wish, you can assign yourself a more difficult test - for example, go through Great Lent together if the celebration is scheduled for spring, and whether Peter's fast is in the summer.
He refrained from empty amusements, smoking, drinking alcoholic beverages. By the way, if the future husband and wife live together, they will have to give up intimate relationships.
He attended church services and did not forget to pray at home. It is advisable to do this together, so as not only to tune in the right way, but also to become closer to each other. But it’s not worth reading conspiracy prayers for a happy married life and getting rid of the troubles that the Internet is full of before the wedding. By consecrating the union in the church and conscientiously preparing for this event, you are already turning to the help of God and relying on his protection, so that other actions, and even more so, obviously reeking of superstition, do not make sense.

All these actions are called fasting, and their ultimate goal is confession and communion before the wedding, which will allow the young to stand at the altar cleansed in body and spirit, freed from vain worldly thoughts and open to receive God's grace.

Step 3: Confession and Communion

Confession before a wedding is no different in principle from repentance in other circumstances. Unless the priests advise you to once again think about how you could offend your future "half" and repent of this sin so as not to repeat it again. Otherwise, everything happens traditionally: the bride and groom, like the rest of the parishioners, come to the temple at the beginning of the Divine Liturgy, confess, read prayers and receive communion before the wedding. After that, the young people will have about an hour to change clothes for the wedding, while prayers and memorial services are going on in the church.

Tip: find out in advance from the priest or ministers if there is an appropriate room in the temple where you can calmly and without haste prepare for the upcoming sacrament.

Is confession required before marriage? Yes. Without repentance, one cannot partake of the Holy Gifts, and without them there will be no wedding. If you are going to confession for the first time and are embarrassed, warn the priest about it. With leading questions, he will help you to adequately pass through the test, cleansed from the burden of sins. By the way, newlyweds who are not familiar with church rules are afraid that they will have to confess together. This is not true! Repentance is a deeply personal matter, and only three will be present at it: you, the priest who receives confession, and God.

And when all three steps are completed, go clean and renewed to the altar, throwing out extraneous thoughts from their heads and tune in to happiness. Those spouses who are ready to fight for their family, love, cherish, respect each other and not be afraid from time to time to sacrifice their interests for the sake of another, God will surely grant it.

Marriage is a Sacrament in which, with a free promise before the priest and the Church of mutual marital fidelity by the bride and groom, their marital union is blessed, in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church, and the grace of pure unanimity is asked for the blessed birth and Christian upbringing of children. Marriage itself is a great sacred thing. It becomes a saving path for a person with the right attitude towards him. Marriage is the beginning of the family, and the family is the small church of Christ.

What is the purpose of Christian marriage? Is it only the birth of children?

Embodying the original will of the Lord about creation, the marital union blessed by Him became a means of continuing and multiplying the human race: “And God blessed them, and God said to them: be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28). But having children is not the only purpose of marriage. The difference between the sexes is a special gift of the Creator to the people He created. “And God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27). Being equally bearers of the image of God and human dignity, a man and a woman are created for integral unity with each other in love: “Therefore, a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).

Therefore, for Christians, marriage has become not just a means of procreation, but, in the words of St. John Chrysostom, "the sacrament of love", the eternal unity of spouses with each other in Christ.

The Christian family is called the “small church”, because the unity of people in marriage is like the unity of people in the Church, the “big family” is unity in love. In order to love, a person must reject his egoism, learn to live for the sake of another person. This goal is served by Christian marriage, in which the spouses overcome their sinfulness and natural limitations.

There is another purpose of marriage - protection from debauchery and the preservation of chastity. “To avoid fornication, each one should have his own wife, and each one should have her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2). “If they cannot abstain, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to be inflamed” (1 Cor. 7:9).

Is it necessary to get married?

If both spouses are believers, baptized and Orthodox, then the wedding is necessary and obligatory, since during this Sacrament the husband and wife receive a special grace that sanctifies their marriage. Marriage in the Sacrament of the Wedding is completed by the grace of God for the creation of the family as a home church. A stable house can only be built on a foundation whose cornerstone is the Lord Jesus Christ. In a Christian marriage, God's grace becomes the foundation on which the building of a happy family life is erected.

Participation in the Sacrament of Marriage, as in all other Sacraments, must be conscious and voluntary. The most important motive for the wedding should be the desire of the husband and wife to live like a Christian, like the Gospel; This is what God's help is given in the Sacrament. If there is no such desire, but they decide to get married “according to tradition”, or because it is “beautiful”, or so that “the family is stronger” and “no matter what happens”, so that the husband does not go on a spree, the wife does not fall out of love, or For reasons like this, it's wrong. Before getting married, it is advisable to approach the priest for an explanation of the meaning of marriage, the necessity and importance of the wedding.

When is the wedding not taking place?

Weddings are prohibited during all four multi-day fasts; during Cheese Week (Shrovetide); on the Bright (Easter) week; from the Nativity of Christ (January 7) to Epiphany (January 19); on the eve of the twelfth holidays; on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the year; September 10, 11, 26 and 27 (in connection with a strict fast for the Beheading of John the Baptist and the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord); on the eve of the patronal temple days (each temple has its own).

The days on which the wedding is allowed are marked in the Orthodox calendar.

Sacrament of wedding rules and preparation

What is required to get married?

The marriage must be registered at the registry office. It is necessary to find out in advance in the temple about the requirements that apply to those wishing to enter into a church marriage. In many churches, an interview is held before the Wedding.

Those approaching such an important Sacrament, following the pious tradition, try to prepare themselves for participation in it, having cleansed themselves by Confession, Communion and prayer.

Usually for a wedding, you need to have wedding rings, icons, a white towel, candles and witnesses. More specifically, everything is clarified in a conversation with the priest who will marry.

How to book a wedding?

It would be more correct not just to “sign up” for the Wedding, but first of all to learn how to prepare for it. To do this, it is good to talk to the priest. If the priest sees that those wishing to enter into a church marriage are already ready for this, then you can “sign up”, that is, agree on a specific time for the performance of the Sacrament.

How to confess and take communion before the wedding?

Preparation for Confession and Communion before the wedding is the same as at any other time.

Is it necessary to have witnesses at a wedding?

Traditionally, the couple has witnesses. Witnesses were especially needed in that historical period when church marriage had the status of an official state act. Currently, the absence of witnesses is not an obstacle to the wedding, you can get married without them.

Is it possible to get married after the birth of a child?

It is possible, but not earlier than 40 days after birth.

Is it possible to get married to those who have been married for a long time?

It is possible and necessary. Those couples who get married in adulthood are usually more serious about the wedding than young people. The splendor and solemnity of the wedding they are replaced by reverence and awe of the greatness of marriage.

Why should a wife obey her husband?

- “Wives, be subject to your husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church” (Eph. 5:22-23).

All people have the same human dignity. Both men and women are equally bearers of the image of God. The fundamental equality of the dignity of the sexes does not abolish their natural difference and does not mean the identity of their vocations both in the family and in society. Do not misinterpret the words of the Apostle Paul about the special responsibility of the husband, who is called to be “the head of the wife,” loving her, as Christ loves His Church, and also about the calling of the wife to obey her husband, as the Church obeys Christ (Eph. 5:22-23; Col 3:18). In these words, we are talking, of course, not about the despotism of a husband or the enslavement of a wife, but about primacy in responsibility, in care and love; It should also not be forgotten that all Christians are called to mutual "obedience to one another in the fear of God" (Eph. 5:21). Therefore, “neither a husband without a wife, nor a wife without a husband, in the Lord. For as the wife is from the husband, so is the husband through the wife; yet it is from God” (1 Cor. 11:11-12).

Creating a man as a man and a woman, the Lord creates a family arranged hierarchically - the wife was created as a helper to her husband: “And the Lord God said: it is not good for a man to be alone; Let us make him a helper fit for him” (Gen. 2:18). “For the husband is not from the wife, but the wife is from the husband; and the husband was not made for the wife, but the wife for the husband” (Cor. 11:8-9).

The family as a home church is a single organism, each of whose members has its own purpose and ministry. The Apostle Paul, speaking of the organization of the Church, explains: “The body is not made up of one member, but of many. If the leg says: I do not belong to the body, because I am not the hand, then does it really not belong to the body? And if the ear says: I do not belong to the body, because I am not the eye, then does it really not belong to the body? If the whole body is eyes, then where is hearing? If everything is hearing, then where is the sense of smell? But God arranged the members, each in the composition of the body, as He pleased. And if all were one member, then where would the body be? But now the members are many, but the body is one. The eye cannot tell the hand: I do not need you; or also head to feet: I don't need you. On the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be the weakest are much more needed, and which seem to us less noble in the body, we make more care for those; and our ugly ones are more plausibly covered, but our decent ones have no need of it. But God measured the body, giving greater care to the less perfect, so that there would be no division in the body, and all the members should take care of each other equally” (1 Cor. 12:14-25). All of the above applies to the "small church" - the family.

The headship of a husband is an advantage among equals, just as in the Holy Trinity among equal Persons, one-man command belongs to God the Father.

Therefore, the husband's service as the head of the family is expressed, for example, in the fact that in the most important issues for the family, he makes decisions on behalf of the whole family, and is also responsible for the whole family. But it is not at all necessary that the husband, when making a decision, does it alone. It is impossible for one person to be an expert in all fields. And the wise ruler is not the one who can decide everything himself, but the one who has wise advisers in every area. So the wife in some family matters (for example, in matters of relationships between children) can understand better than the husband, then the advice of the wife becomes simply necessary.

Does the Church allow second marriage?

However, after confirmation by the diocesan authorities of the canonical grounds for divorce, such as adultery and others recognized by the Russian Orthodox Church as legal, a second marriage is allowed to the innocent spouse. Persons whose first marriage broke up and was annulled through their fault are allowed to enter into a second marriage only on condition of repentance and fulfillment of the penance imposed in accordance with canonical rules. In those exceptional cases where a third marriage is allowed, the period of penance, in accordance with the rules of St. Basil the Great, is extended.

In its attitude to the second marriage, the Orthodox Church is guided by the words of the Apostle Paul: “Are you united with your wife? don't seek divorce. Did he leave without a wife? don't look for a wife. However, even if you marry, you will not sin; and if a girl marries, she will not sin... A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:27-28, 39).

Can people over 50 years of age enter into a church marriage?

In ecclesiastical marriage law, there is a higher limit for marriage. St. Basil the Great indicates the limit for widows - 60 years, for men - 70 years (rules 24 and 88). The Holy Synod, on the basis of an instruction given by Patriarch Adrian (+ 1700), forbade persons over the age of 80 from marrying. Persons aged 60 to 80 must seek permission from the bishop (Archpriest Vladislav Tsypin) to marry.